-- Mention of physical and verbal abuse --
She´s a narcissist, hypocrite, egoist, entitled, and a bad person overall. She insults people that are not as nice to her as she demands and sometimes even reports them if they don´t back off and apologize to her. She feels entitled to everything she wants and demands and will not accept any reason for her wishes to be rejected. At the same time, she puts herself as a very warm and nice person but this mask drops as soon as the person f-s up or is no longer needed to be nice to.
She´s even worse in the family. She puts herself on top. We´re framed as selfish while all vacations, ideas, and projects come from her mind and demands (though she always covers it with "I´m doing this for all of us"). She has no friends at all and if you think someone is, they´re insulted behind their back by my mom. My brother and I have been physically and verbally abused by her. Verbally till today (though she occasionally throws stuff at us). "I hate you, I wish I never had children, b**ch, r**ard, you piece of sh*t, etc." are all common insults from her. We´re fully supported to reach our dreams, spend [some!] time with friends etc. until... we´re suddenly not. My mom just randomly gets mad about us having fun or similar and there come the insults again.
My brother and I can go from being "the best children she could ever wish for" to being the worst ever in a matter of moments. Disagree with her and you´re done. Explain something she thinks she knows and you´re done. Oh and gaslighting is a common practise of her too. And victim blaming. She does it all the time while framing herself as the victim.
Just today I had a heated discussion with my dad. She wasn´t even part of the talk. She went nuts and insulted me later on. I apologized to my dad, who was still mad? My mom who had nothing to do with the whole situation. Who is the victim now? My mom. It´s insane how she can twist a whole situation so much, that she comes out as the victim again.
E.g. last Christmas I messed something up, what caused two decorations to break (one was emotionally important but easily fixed). She had the biggest meltdown. She screamed, threw a Christmas bulb at me while I kneeled on the floor, and screamed "I hate you" in my face. I can´t forgive nor forget as she barely apologized afterward too. (She never apologizes; you´re always expected to do it even when she messed up)

​
Before I dump on the game, let me mention a few of the places that were actually clever:

• The bit with Camelus where you had to raise the bridge and shoot into it from below.
• Figuring out there was a path under the bridge that the ice block blocked.
• Figuring out that you could get up on the ice block from the other end of the crane.

I found the game to be disappointing and frustrating, all down to three reasons:

• The lack of interaction modes. Everything is a doorknob.
• The lack of characters, plot, conflict, and motivation.
• An inability to suspend disbelief, made even more absurd by the ending.

Let's look at these, along with contrasting to early Cyan games, and notice how combining all three together makes for a poor experience.
Essentially, the only mode of interaction available is turning a knob. While this is not necessarily a game killer (Myst, for example, only has clicking something) in Firmament it is completely treated as turning a knob. That is, every time you use the adjunct, you're interacting with a manufactured bit of machinery to control power to one or the other function of what you're connecting to. This leads to a sparse range of puzzles that can be included, essentially none of which progress the narrative. And it leads to the requirement for a technical instruction manual at the start of the game.
There's no "let the water out of the chest then close the knob again so it'll float when you fill the pool." There's no compass rose or turning mirrors. There's no locks to find the combination to (fortunately, given the plot). There's no sorting of singing monkeys. There's no tempting of birds with seed pods. There's no catching of Squees. There's no summoning of Wharks. The steam generator and pipes to fill the Voltaic airship actually work logically, and there's a reason they're puzzling, unlike the steam pipes in Curievale. (I had to actually look up which world the steam pipes were in just now, which shows you how well-integrated that puzzle is.) Also, each puzzle is independent of all the others; there's no foreshadowing of what you need to know, nor cleverness of relating one puzzle to another, as was common all through Exile for example.
Almost all the puzzles (including the most frustrating) involve trying to find the next doorknob to turn; or, having found it, trying to figure out how to reach it with the one and only tool available. Occasionally there's the "let's see if I can find the hidden pathway." Almost none of them involve figuring something out based on the environment or the world building. When stuck, I found myself walking around with the adjunct out looking for some hidden doorknob to light up, or wandering into unobvious corners and walking around the edge of the playable area seeing if I missed a hidden pathway. This is compounded by the huge amount of nonsensical consistency-busting designs. (Watch any first-time playthrough and you'll see the player running all over the place looking for the next clue.)
Granted, once you figured out the solution, it was often clear in hindsight what you were supposed to have been doing.

• You could realize the conservatory is symmetrical and has rubble blocking the way so you need to climb across the planters.
• You could figure out that there were controls under the sulfur you couldn't see the first time by looking at the diagram, if you could figure out what the diagram was saying without extensive exploring to start with.
• You could figure out that the goal in the battery field was to connect the one wire to the other (and not stringing batteries from the outside inwards) once you realize there's exactly two wires leading out from the lake and the error is "no connection".
• You could figure out what order the sockets get concatenated in by looking at their orientations. (Granted, they tried to teach you that during "verification.")
• Once you've drained the first reservoir, it becomes clear the odd structures sticking up were walkways.
• Often you progress a ways through a puzzle and then you can see the exit.

The lack of characters, living people, conflict, narrative, etc also left the game feeling lacking. There's nobody you can interact with, almost no direction is provided as to what you should do (and no, just saying "start the Embrace" doesn't help given you have no memory of what that means), and no motivation for doing it other than some ghost tells you. The real reason you work at it is you know you're playing a game. The fact that the world is terribly inconsistent with the story, and the mentor wants you to do things she won't reveal, just compounds the problem.

• One of the first things she tells you is she'll lie to you, which kind of gave away the "you are Turner" ending.
• You're the only person alive/awake, you're vital to the completion of the project, and your mentor can tell you what to do, but she doesn't.
• In Myst, Riven, Exile, you're given ongoing plot, and you know your motivation from the start, and why there's nobody helping you.
• The ending is an unsatisfying info dump. The beginning is the same. There really wasn't a sense of accomplishment, especially since "Hey, you got to the end, no go away, everything else is automated."

The entire time I was playing, I was saying to myself "Why would this be like this?" It made the entire experience tremendously gamey. Myst and Riven didn't make you think "why would anyone do this?" Exile and Portal both had reasons for being full of puzzles, as well as a motivation for your opponent to be setting up the puzzles and for making them solvable. But Firmament should have been 10x as easy to navigate, except that wouldn't make a good game, so artificial barriers that make no sense are set in your way. This, for me, destroyed the suspension of disbelief. Especially when the ending reveals that even the things you might have thought were accidental were designed that way. Even the constructed places were designed like puzzles rather than somewhere you want your workers to be effective at working.

• Why would your mentor set things up that you needed to work so hard to make happen what she wanted?
• Why are there even locks on the doors, given only keepers and crew are there?
• Why would any giant door only have a doorknob on one side, especially when there are other doors you can enter?
• Why wouldn't there be a path around the skiff engine so you could couple either side?
• Why is there even a cargo skiff stuck to the side of a building that has stairs at the top and bottom of its range? That's like making a handicap elevator that opens onto a staircase landing. What are you moving on the skiff?
• Why would you install steam pipes zig-zagging all over under the water?
• Why would you install the gangways zig-zagging all over under the water?
• Why would you install steam valves that block the path when turned on? Why not turn that bit so they stick out over space?
• What does turning on the steam even do, other than clearing the way to the spire? It's not powering anything at the exit. Why are the pipes and heaters even there except to make a puzzle?
• Why do the electric heaters need steam power?
• Why do pressurized steam pipes glow green, except to make the puzzle possible? Why are electric lights shining out from inside the steam pipes?
• Why wouldn't you provide all the modes of running the crane on top of the crane? Why can't you raise the hook from on top of the crane?
• How is Juleston the only place that needs special electricity? Where do the other realms get their electricity that this realm couldn't?
• Why does the conservatory have collapsed columns blocking the way that aren't anywhere else in the building? There's no place for them to have fallen from. They're not symmetrical with the other half of the building.
• Why wouldn't the walkways around planters go all the way around? How are you supposed to care for or harvest the contents on the sides without walkways?
• Why wouldn't the controls for rotating the planters be more easily accessible? There's 6 or so controls to raise and lower each planter, and one control to rotate them that you wouldn't even be able to access on foot.
• Why do you need to ride the ice block to get to the factory? Did OSHA approve that? How come the protective gear described on the sign isn't available?
• Why did the walkway in the ice processing center that the moving bridge fills collapse, and where did the collapsed floor go? There are no broken plates on the floor.
• Why is there even a movable room in the ice processing center? Why not just finish building the bridges and walkways?
• How did whoever put the moving bridge there leave? You can only reach it standing on top of an ice block.
• Why is the green pipe valve hidden behind a bunker? Wouldn't it be easier to build stairs?
• Why wouldn't you build stairs all the way to the ground instead of having to walk along the crane to an ice block to reach the stairs?
• Why are there blocks of ice all over outside the processing center?
• How did all the ice blocks get around the base of the crane? Why not grind those up instead?
• How did the block of ice block the pathway, then the bridge get closed, except intentionally?
• Why not put all the controls for the sulfur mixer in one socket?
• Why is there a giant door requiring three sockets to get connected? The tracks don't go through, and there's nothing to be moved from one side to the other, and no vehicle nearby. Why is it there, and who closed it for that matter?
• Who would build a vehicle where the part you need to line up can't be seen from the steering wheel? Camelus' back door is not visible from the steering wheel. The first ice crane has to be automated at each end because you can't see what's happening. The alignment of the second ice crane is invisible from inside the crane, requiring the platform out the side.

And then you get to the end, and it becomes even more absurd, given that everything you've seen was intentionally designed and built.

• Why would the crane be constructed to run into the cliff? Put it farther out like the bubble car, or don't put rocks jutting out to block its path.
• Why would the sulfur need to be mined? It's not really a planet. Why not stacks of sulfur bricks? Why are there geysers in space?
• Why would you build the bubble car rails where they'd get frozen by ice? There's no seasonal run-off making waterfalls so you had to know that would happen.
• Why pretend you're mining coal? Why launch your coal supply from the ground in rocks instead of extracting it on Earth?
• Why are you wasting coal melting ice anyway? Just use the water before you freeze it. Why build the heat-powered power plant in the coldest realm?
• Why not build the steam furnace downhill from piles of coal and a big pool of water?
• What were you planning to do with a bunch of mountains in orbit when you got to your destination?
• Lots of puzzles block you from turning them off once solved. Why? And how'd they even get in that state in the first place? Nobody is working against you, and nobody has more authority to make changes than you do.

And many more I don't remember the details of.
Given Cyan's track record, one might ponder some of the inconsistencies in implementation and wonder whether they have a deeper meaning. I couldn't find any.

• The first double-bridge you come to, you have to navigate around to cross; the second double-bridge you can just reach the adjunct across; the bubble car there (I think) is positioned in a way that the last person to leave couldn't set up.of mentor dialog or books or something.
• Only one bunker has an alternate exit.
• Only one bunker has a hibernation bed. Did she drag that there? Her monologue doesn't sound like it.
• It seems like a bad idea to have the Juleston bunker close you in when the power goes off.
• Places blocked by rubble have nowhere above for the rubble to have come from.
• Collapsed floors that need to be bridged have no broken flooring or rubble under them, nor is there any reason for them to have collapsed.
• The first double-bridge you come to, you have to naviate around to cross; the second double-bridge you can just reach the adjunct across; the bubble car there (I think) is positioned in a way that the last person to leave couldn't set up.
• The moving bridge near the ice grinder for sure could not have been left that way (unless someone got ground up). Otherwise riding the ice wouldn't be a puzzle.
• The first place you need to connect three sockets, and there's only one order they connect in.
• The second place needs four sockets connected, but still shows "1/3" when you do the first one.
• When there's some option not currently available for a socket, you're not given that option. Or maybe it goes "Doink". Or maybe just nothing happens. Or maybe it's dimmed out. Or maybe it starts and then immediately reverts.

Compare to Myst: Myst was surreal, magical. It's expected in such situations that there will be weirdness. Nevertheless, essentially every puzzle was reasonable in its environment and grounded and somewhat predictable. Things like getting the key to the lighthouse was grounded in basic physics; things like resetting the spaceship after a mistake, or figuring out how to deduce the stoneship symbols, or raising the channelwood tree, were based on wide-spread cultural references. Where there were other puzzles, the end-goal was shown in advance, with you almost always running across the lock before being presented with the keys. The rare maze allowed you to (mostly) see where you were going several steps ahead and also told you the destination before you found it. The pointers to the story were left in conspicuous places (the note on the grass, the blue and red books). Also, the weird crap was explained in extensive world-building (heh) books in the library. Nothing (almost) was hidden just to make a puzzle harder. The solution to each puzzle was presented while you're in the puzzle trying to figure out the solution, if only you were clever or observant enough to understand it. If you wanted to get into the spaceship, you followed the wires. The elevator trick in Mechanical Age wasn't hidden; you just had to think about why the elevator didn't start right away. The most hidden thing there was the secret panels, which were secret, but still had a target drawn on them. Every place you were stymied by a lock, the lock was intentionally put there to keep natives of the land away from the books, or to keep others from using the books on Myst Island (i.e., the places of protection).
Contrast with (say) the greenhouse puzzle: first you have to figure how to get to the entrance riding the skiff, because that made so much more sense than another flight of stairs or a ladder; thank goodness the vines didn't quite close off every path. Then you have to figure out that the place you're trying to go is the other side of the planters on the same level (and not to the thing that looks like a lift or ladder), even though you can't see the other side. Then you ride the things around a while, trying to see the walkways above and below you, before realizing there's another doorknob down at the bottom; good thing they all have distinctive lights on them, eh? That doorknob can only be reached from where you're far from your goal, and from a limited number of puzzle states, then you have to work your way all the way back up, and then if you're lucky you'll have figured out how to turn the planters so you can dodge across. Sometimes you can cross on the diagonal, sometimes it's a fraction too far. And your knees don't bend, so you can't get over the foot-high plank lying on the floor. Or look at the steam pipes and heaters. You need to turn them on, and oh goody, they light up when you do. But some of the doorknobs don't glow; other sockets on the pipes aren't doorknobs they just look that way. Some of the pipes go above the surface, and you can't tell where they come back down. You then can turn on electric heaters using steam, somehow. You have to go down to turn one on, then melt some ice, then coming back up requires turning that off again. Several times you have to turn it on, then turn it off again because the valve was installed in a way that blocks the walkway. There's a valve hidden behind a grate for some reason, but fortunately your other tool can go through grates and the walkway passes by quite close. Then you have to turn on a valve, loop around to go two levels down, turn on the second valve that you can't get to because the steampunk builders thought it was a good idea to install valves that block the pathway, come back up far enough to turn on the third valve, go back down to turn on the heater, come back up and turn off the first valve, then you can progress. And when you've worked the steam power all the way to the end, what do you get? A steam-powered machine? No, just the same electric lift as in every other realm. Good thing, because you had to turn the steam off again to get to the other side of the path. The only reason for the steam pipes is to make a puzzle that somehow runs electric heaters off steam pressure, with electricity at both ends of the path already. Oh, and there's a hundred meters of gangway in loops and ramps in the water, instead of, you know, a path from one side to the other.
Compare to Riven: Riven is grounded like Firmament. It's not particularly supernatural. The stuff is mechanical, not magical. If someone disappears from a one-door room, there's probably a hidden switch. Granted, "fire marbles" aren't explained, and why there would even need to be clues to get into Tay is unclear story-wise, but OK, combinations to locks need to be written where you can find them. And the mine cart going under water was just Rule Of Cool. Everything else makes sense. Secret passages are only secret from one side. Doors are locked between where Ghen moves and where natives move, and locked on the side where Ghen is. When there's a "hidden" passage that's hard to see, the people who created it leave a pointer (usually a dagger). When there's a hidden door, you can see into the adjacent room so you know to look for the door. There's no case of "wander all over the level holding the 'show me interaction points' control, trying to figure out if there's a button that enables some other part of the level to work." There's no wondering whether you need an upgrade to even start working on this puzzle. If there's a hidden button to make something work, you can follow the wire to it (the fan), or see the pathway over there, or see the room through the window (book assembly island dome), or notice from where you start there's only one other path of many open (the lake sub), or etc. Look at the design of the wood pulp boiler vs the sulphur mixer. And again, the reason for all the locks are explained in-game. Riven is a masterclass in adventure game design because the puzzles all make sense in the context and story of the game, all of which we see before we need to know it, and there's almost nothing arbitrary about the puzzles.
Contrast with Firmament: Firmament looks realistic, but is surreal in detail. The entire place acts like one giant puzzle, with a dozen unintuitive steps to get from each place to the next. It has knobs that can control things remotely, but uses that capability to put things out of reach instead of making things easier, even tho the only people with adjuncts would be people who are supposed to be working the machines. It has machinery on rails constructed too close to other features to let the cars pass (like the first crane blocked by rocks, the second crane blocked by ice, the bubble car blocked by the ice, etc), which is even more silly when you find out the cliffs aren't natural either. It uses complex machinery of all different kinds to accomplish the same ends; the skiff vs the first crane vs the second crane vs the sulfur trains; the conveyance pods vs the bubble cars vs (cripes) riding blocks of ice and hopping off hopefully before you reach the shredder blades. There are places where simple stairs or bridges could be built, but instead there's a half dozen baroque processes to get from one place to another place a literal stone's throw away (see "riding blocks of ice" as well as the pointless skiff and the pointless steam pipes and ....). There's several kinds of power supplies which have to be turned on, each of which powers only the bits of puzzle blocking your way. There are innumerable doorknobs placed in cages where you have to be at the right angle to fire them with no obvious reason for the cage walls to be blocking you from there (see "riding blocks of ice"). Even at the end you have to walk entirely around the axis twice to unlock a door you're 20 feet from when you come out into space.
Compare to Exile: Exile is surreal, but this time it's intentionally designed by its creator to be surreal. Each age has a purpose and a theme, and it looks designed (unlike Myst's ages). The design of each Age gives you clues to the solutions of the puzzles, and then plays into the endgame. You have an ongoing story that tells you the motivations of the people involved. You have a reason you're suddenly thrown into the situation alone. (As in Myst and Riven, for that matter.) No need for the cliche loss of memory or untrustworthy narrator (both features of Firmament, both described in the opening monologue). There's a reason the puzzles are more difficult than you'd think necessary. The same reason is why there are clues how to solve them scattered about. And you're shown the ways in which the puzzles were made more difficult, which helps tell the story; nothing is randomly broken by accident. When you solve an age, you get a beautiful reward of getting to see the age laid out before you to admire. The ending is fulfilling, and in your hands, left to you to figure out how to bring about some solution or the best solution.
Contrast with Firmament: No setup other than a monologue telling you "you remember nothing, I might lie, go do puzzles I mean maintenance work." The puzzles are arbitrary-progress-blockage puzzles. There's very little where you have to think about what the world is like to make things work. The ages don't feel any different from each other, because every one is "figure out where the path is, where the goal is, and then try to find where you can reach the doorknob from." There's no puzzle having to do with ice on Curievale (other than the heaters, which are just different forms of doors). There's no puzzle having to do with plants on St. Andrew. Even places where you might have figured it out, it was tedious rather than clever; for example, the batteries were painted colors. Imagine how it would have been if you could see into the water and each post had a different number of batteries wired to it? I don't really want to spend time doing linear algebra to figure out puzzles during my gaming hour. And when you do solve a puzzle, half the time you're inside a building or vehicle where you can't see what's happening; the shutters only open once, the bubble cars obscure most of the view, engaging the Embrace doesn't make it obvious the doors are opening in the spire, etc.
How could I have done better? Well, I don't design games for a living, but I've been playing adventure games since they were coded in FORTRAN and printed their text on paper. There are a few obvious places the puzzles could have been made more enjoyable.

• Make the batteries in Juleston visible through the water, with different pylons having different numbers of batteries visibly connected. Then you don't have to do linear algebra and experiments to figure out what's going on, and the fact that the final step is also providing power would be obvious. This would leave open the possibility for the people who want to do linear algebra. (Sort of like how the sound direction clues in Mechanical Age let you navigate in Selentic Age even though there were adequate clues if you went to Selentic first.)
• Keep the steam pipes underwater, so you can follow where the next valve is.
• Actually require the player to mix the sulfur with the sulfur mixer, just for realism. And don't just have the computer tell the user what the next step is. "Door crusted." "Too much acid." "Pool full." Show, don't tell, like with the crusted lock at the start. Maybe make it so you can look into the pool before you add sulfur and see that there are controls down there, and locking lugs, and crusty stuff.
• When a machine finally turns on, make it obvious why you needed that machine in the first place. The whole "turn on steam" in Curievale was there to clear the way of ice in your way (with electric heaters, no less), while the builders could have just put a walkway over or straight through the water there. They could have made the lift at the end obviously running on steam pressure, which might have even made sense in the context of the steampunk origin story. The whole "turn on the batteries" in Juleston was there to power a half dozen machines while other machines all over already had power. Why does the Juleston bunker (you know, the place holding all the maintenance supplies) need battery power to be accessible and the others don't? (Oh, that's right, achievements.) Why did you have to send power to the bunker in order to open the giant doors? And again, the sulfur didn't need mixing (can you tell I'm traumatized?).
• Put some puzzles in that have to do with the age. Require a puzzle where you have to know ice floats, like drop a giant floating ice cube in the resevoir to get across. Require a puzzle where you have to fertilize or poison (with sulfur?) or electrocute (after powering up Juleston?) plants to progress through St Andrew. Let the player pick up a battery to locally power puzzles in Juleston (due to broken wires?) instead of just declaring that this lift lacks power but that lift works fine.

Anyway, that's my rambling. Hope you enjoyed. :)

Was also given steroid drops to prevent an infection, but I’m just concerned about whether this was ok since everything says that just pushes wax further into the canal. Do the drops help prevent that from happening so it’s not an issue? And is it normal to feel shitty (somewhat dizzy and off) after having a ton of wax removed and starting the drops, or is that a sign something was done wrong? Wax was only removed from one ear.

For the past three days I’ve been hearing something screaming ‘help meeee… help me….. aaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhh help meeeee’ on and off.
Everything started the night after my fiancé saw something unexplainably creepy at the skatepark near the woods while walking the dogs. We were walking our two dogs and we planned to go down to the skatepark to train the dogs some more in agility. The park is small only consisting of about 3 medium ramps and one that barely reaches mid shin on myself. The skatepark is down in a sort of valley and we have to go down some steps to get to it and is surrounded by woods on all sides. As I was about to suggest going down I noticed my fiancé stood still staring into the skatepark while mid panic attack and the dogs were in front of them staring on and off with the smaller one fixated and pulling.
They said ‘someone’s down there’ but when I went to look I didn’t see anyone or anything down there and it was dead quiet.
‘No there isn’t, I looked and I can’t see anyone’
‘No seriously there are people down there, looks like a fucking cult or something’ they said half joking and half panicked. ‘We need to go home’
I was confused and thought it was their mind playing tricks because it was dark and still wanted to go down like something was inviting me (that’s what it felt like in hindsight, in the moment something was making me feel annoyed and frustrated at not being able to go down there)
‘No come on there’s no one down there it’s ok we can go and run with the dogs'
‘No no I want to go home…. Seriously please can we just go home’ they mentioned they heard a scream coming from the woods but again I heard nothing. And the second time they heard it they turned and walked off quickly and I followed. For the rest of the night they were really uneasy to the point I was worried for them. They were drawing what they saw trying to make sense of it, while struggling to make much sense themselves. Talking about demons, nuns, deer, goat skull headed man, etc. It creeped me the fuck out and I asked to drop the topic but I knew something wasn’t right. The next day was ok, taking the dogs for a walk the usual amount, feeling better about the whole situation.
Then I heard something.
The first time I heard it, it was around 3am and I heard what sounded like a drunk or heavily injured man screaming for help, nothing specific, just ‘help meee, help me, aaaaaggggghhhhh help meeeeeeee’ and the occasional screaming. It circled our housing complex and got louder near the window right by our bed. I got up to look out of the window and I saw a figure, it looked like a man in a grey tracksuit with his hood up and he was walking away from us about 200m-300m from our window. Staggering drunk or injured but seemingly unbothered. Still screaming help me. The thing is the screaming was completely emotionless and uninterested. It stopped shortly after I saw the figure.
The second time was around 8am the next day the same emotionless screaming circling the house that lasted for about five minutes before cutting off mid scream. I chalked it up to just some drunk kid wanting to scare people or cause a scene. Or perhaps it was someone with mental health issues in an episode. I then heard it a few hours later as I left to walk the dogs coming from the forest that our front door overlooks. Still emotionless and the same words ‘help meee, help me, aaaaaggggghhhhh help meeeeeeee’. There were two men by the road fixing up their bikes and people on their balconies smoking but no one seemed to hear what I was hearing. So I carried on ignoring it. It didn’t stop for the 10 minutes I was out there letting the dogs pee and poo. And carried on even as I entered the house.
It eventually stopped and some family came to visit but when I walked out the house to get a drink from the shop I heard it start up again, it started the second I opened the door and didn’t stop even as I was walking down the stairs to the shop or as I came out of the shop and walked in the house. It carried on for about 5 minutes after I entered the house again just repeatedly screaming help me help me please and screaming.
Now my brain is repeating it like tinnitus the same thing over and over again while my head hurts more and more from the screaming ‘help meeeee help me please aaaaaagggggghhhhhh help meeeeeeee’ the same order just over and over and over and over and over again. I’m getting a migraine while typing this because the screaming just won’t stop and it’s getting louder and I don’t know what it is or why it’s happening or what could be doing it.
Tldr: my fiancé saw something in the forest and now something is screaming for help at all hours of the day and night. It’s started screaming in my head and it won’t stop. It seems to be getting louder and giving me a migraine, making me sick, and driving me insane.

For the past three days I’ve been hearing something screaming ‘help meeee… help me….. aaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhh help meeeee’ on and off.
Everything started the night after my fiancé saw something unexplainably creepy at the skatepark near the woods while walking the dogs. We were walking our two dogs and we planned to go down to the skatepark to train the dogs some more in agility. The park is small only consisting of about 3 medium ramps and one that barely reaches mid shin on myself. The skatepark is down in a sort of valley and we have to go down some steps to get to it and is surrounded by woods on all sides. As I was about to suggest going down I noticed my fiancé stood still staring into the skatepark while mid panic attack and the dogs were in front of them staring on and off with the smaller one fixated and pulling.
They said ‘someone’s down there’ but when I went to look I didn’t see anyone or anything down there and it was dead quiet.
‘No there isn’t, I looked and I can’t see anyone’
‘No seriously there are people down there, looks like a fucking cult or something’ they said half joking and half panicked. ‘We need to go home’
I was confused and thought it was their mind playing tricks because it was dark and still wanted to go down like something was inviting me (that’s what it felt like in hindsight, in the moment something was making me feel annoyed and frustrated at not being able to go down there)
‘No come on there’s no one down there it’s ok we can go and run with the dogs'
‘No no I want to go home…. Seriously please can we just go home’ they mentioned they heard a scream coming from the woods but again I heard nothing. And the second time they heard it they turned and walked off quickly and I followed. For the rest of the night they were really uneasy to the point I was worried for them. They were drawing what they saw trying to make sense of it, while struggling to make much sense themselves. Talking about demons, nuns, deer, goat skull headed man, etc. It creeped me the fuck out and I asked to drop the topic but I knew something wasn’t right. The next day was ok, taking the dogs for a walk the usual amount, feeling better about the whole situation.
Then I heard something.
The first time I heard it, it was around 3am and I heard what sounded like a drunk or heavily injured man screaming for help, nothing specific, just ‘help meee, help me, aaaaaggggghhhhh help meeeeeeee’ and the occasional screaming. It circled our housing complex and got louder near the window right by our bed. I got up to look out of the window and I saw a figure, it looked like a man in a grey tracksuit with his hood up and he was walking away from us about 200m-300m from our window. Staggering drunk or injured but seemingly unbothered. Still screaming help me. The thing is the screaming was completely emotionless and uninterested. It stopped shortly after I saw the figure.
The second time was around 8am the next day the same emotionless screaming circling the house that lasted for about five minutes before cutting off mid scream. I chalked it up to just some drunk kid wanting to scare people or cause a scene. Or perhaps it was someone with mental health issues in an episode. I then heard it a few hours later as I left to walk the dogs coming from the forest that our front door overlooks. Still emotionless and the same words ‘help meee, help me, aaaaaggggghhhhh help meeeeeeee’. There were two men by the road fixing up their bikes and people on their balconies smoking but no one seemed to hear what I was hearing. So I carried on ignoring it. It didn’t stop for the 10 minutes I was out there letting the dogs pee and poo. And carried on even as I entered the house.
It eventually stopped and some family came to visit but when I walked out the house to get a drink from the shop I heard it start up again, it started the second I opened the door and didn’t stop even as I was walking down the stairs to the shop or as I came out of the shop and walked in the house. It carried on for about 5 minutes after I entered the house again just repeatedly screaming help me help me please and screaming.
Now my brain is repeating it like tinnitus the same thing over and over again while my head hurts more and more from the screaming ‘help meeeee help me please aaaaaagggggghhhhhh help meeeeeeee’ the same order just over and over and over and over and over again. I’m getting a migraine while typing this because the screaming just won’t stop and it’s getting louder and I don’t know what it is or why it’s happening or what could be doing it.
Tldr: my fiancé saw something in the forest and now something is screaming for help at all hours of the day and night. It’s started screaming in my head and it won’t stop. It seems to be getting louder and giving me a migraine, making me sick, and driving me insane.

so basically I applied to Grand Canyon University with a 3.036 GPA and got conditionally accepted. I’m a senior and on my last semester I had a workbase learning class (a pointless useless class) and got a 77 on it and it counted as 3 out of my 4 blocks so i finished my last year off with a 92 Economics, 77,77,77 in my workbase learning class and it ended up dropping my GPA down to a 2.969 literally only 0.031 under the requirement. I already have had a zoom meeting with my parents with my school admission counselor and even got a all expense paid trip to tour the campus in 2 weeks, they have already bought my plane tickets to go. SO BASICALLY i’m afraid they will revoke my acceptance because i’m 0.031 short, what do you guys think will happen??

I have six 12v fans and I have to 12v supplies, supply 1 and supply 2.
when I turn on supply 1 I want 2 fans to turn on, if I turn on supply 2 even if supply 1 is turned off I want all 6 fans to turn on how do I do this? I was thinking 2 diodes but I’m worried about voltage drop, in reality supply 1/2 are temperature controllers hooked up to the same 12v battery.

I have six 12v fans and I have to 12v supplies, supply 1 and supply 2.
when I turn on supply 1 I want 2 fans to turn on, if I turn on supply 2 even if supply 1 is turned off I want all 6 fans to turn on how do I do this? I was thinking 2 diodes but I’m worried about voltage drop, in reality supply 1/2 are temperature controllers hooked up to the same 12v battery.

No pic this time as I'm writing up on my phone but his ratings are mostly the same. Just 2 years in game have passed since the last update (MLB the show and ootp 24 have been taking up my free time) but they were an eventful two years to say the least.
After joining Montreal on a two year deal as the highest paid player ever (15m) the expectations for Savard entering his age 26 season were sky high. However things did not get off to a good start.
Through the first half of the season Montreal was winning games but Savard was hovering just below a ppg. The Canadiens fan base was already starting to turn on their expensive winger with some believing it was best for Montreal to collect assets via a trade rather than keeping Savard for the length of his deal.
The Canadiens were given lots of time to think about this as the NHL entered a break for the winter Olympics to take place. Savard, of course, was selected to represent team Canada. He found his groove wearing his home lands colors posting 5 goals and 12 points in 6 olympic games en route to capturing another gold medal for Canada even adding the golden goal.
Savard returned to Montreal and with his confidence reestablished and took the NHL by storm. Hindered by his slow start his final stats don't look the best but he totalled 32g and 88pts in 82 games, however, these totals were heavily back loaded with a stellar second half.
This dominance is emphasized when looking at his playoff stats. Savard buried 15 goals adding another 15 assists for 30 points in 18 playoff games leading the 53 win Habs on a Stanley cup final run. However it ended in heartbreak as the Winnipeg Jets swept the Montreal Canadiens to capture their first title in franchise history.
Despite the heartbreak Savard was entering another contract year and he played to the top level all year long posting 50 goals (2nd 50+ goal season) and a career high 126 points during the regular season. This led to him capturing his 2nd art Ross, 5th Hart, and 5th Ted Lindsay award. Montreal cruised to a 65 win season posting an NHL record 134 team points. After losing just one game in the first two rounds Montreal hit a wall in the ECF once again falling via a sweep this time by the Philadelphia Flyers. Savard did his part posting 7g and 23pts in 13 playoff games.
With no ring to show for his two years in Montreal it seemed natural Savard was going to test the FA market again. The feeling was mutual on Montreal's side as Savard was asking for a 17m aav for 6 years to stay in Montreal. Despite also not winning the cup in the 2 years Savard's home town Toronto Maple Leafs were still not interested in bringing the hometown boy in as their financials would not allow it without deconstructing their 2 time champion core. Montreal and Washington also sat out the bidding war for Savard leaving 29 teams to battle it out in pursuit of the star.
When the dust cleared it was the Buffalo Sabres adding Samuel Savard inking him to a 6 year deal with an aav 13.52m (his ask from Montreal dropped to 15m on July 1st). Savard joins a Sabres team that has not made the playoffs in 8 years and has never lifted lord Stanley's cup. Sabres are coming off 3 straight season in the 70-80 point range including back to back 79 point seasons as they fail to even appear to be trending upwards.
However, the Sabres squad doesn't lack talent as the boast 3 3.5+ star players at both the defense and forward position. This doesn't even include the real x-factor of the deal: 5 star RW John Wilson. Wilson, a fellow first overall pick (2038) is 23 years old and yet to establish himself at the NHL level. Reports are he's nearly been dealt out of Buffalo on at least two occasions. Its been mostly injuries holding Wilson back, he's never played more than 78 games in a season and has played 53 or less every other year. The 4 year NHL vet has just 68 goals and 138 points in 221 NHL games. He did show signs of life last year posting 17g and 40pts in 44 games before a torn hamstring ended his season early (various smaller injuries also took games away).
Perhaps the most interesting part of this new duo is their shared roots. After Savard dominated the OHL for the Petes he naturally left after his draft year. Peterborough fell back to obscurity posting just 46 points in the following season. This landed them a new top piece as in the 2035 OHL priority selection the Petes selected John Wilson 1st overall. Wilson did not have the playoffs success that Savard had in the O but he did dominate his draft year to the tune of 36 goals and 75 points in just 49 games helping Canada to silver at that years world juniors. Due to a training camp injury leaving Wilson out of shape he even returned to Peterborough in his D+1 year.
Most recently Wilson and Savard got to link up for the first time as professionals as Wilson joined Savard on team Canada capturing the 2042 Olympic gold. It appears being together on that team, and perhaps some Peterborough connections, were enough to convince Savard to sign long term in Buffalo.

The next day I remembered to bring the key that Suki gave to me, and I won’t pretend I wasn’t a little smug about that. ‘I’m responsible!’ I thought, teasing myself over something silly and small, and turned the key with a click to open up the store. I whistled when I walked in, this time I was early. I had something to do after all. I went to the register, took the envelope full of cash, and then after taking a bank statement off the desk in Suki’s office, I left and locked up.
I went to the bank and got there right as they opened, a slender woman in a knee length dress with short black hair met me with a smile. “Can I help you?” She asked, and I slid the envelope across the marble countertop to where she stood.
“I need to make a deposit into this account.” I then slid the statement across to her and waited.
I very much enjoyed her shocked expression, while the amount wasn’t ‘massive’ it was probably more than Suki had deposited at one time in a very long while.
“There was a long term debt that was cleared off her books yesterday.” I explained with a sweet smile spreading over my face, I had to really work not to laugh at the memory of those poor confused Yakuza trying to fight an otherworldly monster.
Part of me still regretted leaving them alive. But I reminded myself that they would almost certainly have gotten police attention to ‘handle’ me if it came down to it, and I didn’t want any official records getting unwelcome attention on my vacations.
The woman brightened up a fair bit and swiftly completed counting out the cash. “It will be available for use within the next hour.” She promised. “Thank you for doing business with us.” She said, and after taking a receipt for the amount I said…
“A pleasure. Have a nice day.” And walked back out.
Setup in the store that morning was easy, a quick laying out of stuff, I had no idea what she wanted to put on sale, so I just didn’t do any. There were a few things that I probably could discount that had a bunch of sales, however I didn’t like the idea of putting something on sale when there wasn’t much inventory in the first place.
So I just… did one more quick wipe down, and then rushed to the bento boxes and began setting out food to cook and putting together as many to-go boxes as I could. ‘I should have just taken the money yesterday, then I could have teleported to the bank and then back again…now I have to rush.’ I huffed.
“No wonder places hire people to do this stuff…” I mumbled under my breath as the first customers came in for the day. “Welcome to Toriyama’s.” I said and went to the register.
The first was a young man, barely of age to hold a job out of high school, obviously wearing a suit belonging to his father, given the ill fit, he looked frankly silly. Gangly and still growing, a sheepish awkward look on his face. I’d been around enough humans to read him, and knew he knew how ridiculous he looked in that shabby gray thing with his hair slick to excess and his face not as well shaved as it should have been.
“I’m ah… a little short.” He mumbled, and for this I knew just what to do. I reached for a clipboard and slid it across to him.
“Write your name and what you got, just come back and pay for it later.” I said. Suki had done the same thing for me when I got to Earth, while I was still figuring out how money worked here and everything. Honestly this place was a big part of the reason I could relax as much as I did after a hard week of painting.
It’s always easiest to relax, even for a swapper, when you’re around people who you just know want you to do well.
His voice cracked a little when he said, “Thank you.” His stomach rumbled again, and he scribbled out some information that I didn’t bother to check. I probably should have, but I wasn’t worried, worst case scenario, I’d cover it. I couldn’t help myself. I smiled as warmly as I could, reached out my hand and said, “Good luck.” while touching his arm. [D’oog kul] I cast the spell very quietly, whispering the words so softly he wouldn’t hear them, and accepted the pen back from his hand as soon as he was done.
I doubted I’d need to cover it. But even so?
The routine had to be kept up, so I waved goodbye and the other young men and women rushing through their morning routines rushed to the counter for whatever last minute things they needed.
A few women visited to buy their detergent for the common wash, some with small children on their hips and looking relieved to see that the prices hadn’t somehow gone up overnight. I wondered what it was like for them… to be honest I’d never really given that much thought to how everybody else lived their lives.
I was a happy NEET, after all. It didn’t occur to me that the people in Shinjai were struggling. I had to wonder, ‘How much of that was because of the Yakuza coming around here and taking money from these little family businesses?’
I might have inadvertently solved a number of problems by addressing this one. Maybe they’d still be back, but I had my doubts. If they were, then I’d have to deal with them with greater harshness.
The day went by faster than you might think, like… faster than a session binge watching that show about the pharmacist who knew lots of modern stuff that has been on my list of things to watch for… I dunno, at least a month now?
Once I was alone and things began to settle down, I went back to the rear office and began calling up numbers and paying past due bills. I didn’t sit down, it just didn’t feel right… plus her chair was just…awful.
Looking around the mess I could only feel worse, like I’d been taking advantage of the Toriyama kindness for a while now, and not really given anything back.
OkayK, I was helping now. But that was just so I wouldn’t be inconvenienced.
“Yes, pay in full. And can you arrange a delivery tomorrow for restocking?” I said to the representative over the phone. “Yes I’ll pay up front this time. Use this account number…” I read it off and moved on to the next one before more customers could appear.
As I began to stack up paid bills in one clean corner of the old work desk, I found something unexpected.
A bin, one of those shallow desk bins made of wood that were just a little larger than paper. It was buried under the incoming bills…and that’s what it was labeled.
It took a while, but I gradually exposed its mate, an ‘outgoing/paid’ labeled bin, and I began to use that instead.
By the time Jin came in, I was nearly done. “Kayobi… what are you doing back there?” He asked, he had a mix of horror and confusion on his face when he saw the phone in my right hand and the letter of lateness in the other.
“Yes, go ahead and pay that now. It’s fine, and up front for the rest, go ahead and charge it.” I then wrote down the confirmation number, hung up the phone, and set the letter and the phone down.
“Just paying the bills, I saw that some were late, so I took care of it.” I said, and the blood drained from his face.
“But… but we don’t… there’s no money… what have you done…” He whispered, and I thought the poor boy was going to faint.
“Of course there was.” I said as I walked past him to go to the register. “There was an envelope full of cash right here.” I replied, and he blinked dumbly for several seconds.
“But that was… that had a special purpose, there’s ah… a cost of business in Shinjai that ah… it isn’t on paper.” He cleared his throat and started to shake from head to toe.
“No, there’s not.” I said and flicked my hair back. “I took care of it.”
Jin’s mouth dropped, “I… what? With…I don’t… what do you mean you took care of it?” He emphasized.
“Oh, a few men came by yesterday morning,” I gave a casual shrug, “I stopped by their building yesterday evening, I had a conversation with their bossman, and now the problem is solved.”
His brow furrowed, “You’re joking, right?” He asked.
“No.” I said and waved to another young customer, “Welcome to Toriyama’s!”
Jin stared at me until the customer was gone, then said, “I need to know what you did.”
“No, you don’t.” I replied. “You had a problem. I did something, and now that problem does not exist. You worry too much. All you need to know is that the debt is cleared and it will not be coming back. So with what used to be paid, I’ve now paid off most of the bills. I also went ahead and reordered the usual goods, that way you’ll stay fully stocked.”
“But-” Jin started to speak, but I cut him off.
“Nope.” I quipped and said, “No buts. The problem is solved, now why are you even here? Go visit your mother, I’ll cover the store for a few more hours, I’ll let you handle the lock up if you really insist.”
“I… you’re the best, Kayobi!” He shouted with glee and all but ran out of the store.
“I know. It’s true. I am the best.” I said to myself, sure that he hadn’t heard me or seen what was probably a goofy grin on my face.
Oddly enough, it felt pretty good to help out.
But I still wanted to watch my favorite shows…
‘I’ll watch some tonight, after a quick call to Celia.’ I promised myself, and went to wipe down the counter again.

I know this is the kind of thing people ask about plenty in here and we don't completely understand youtube shorts and the voodoo magic behind it yet but here's the thing:
The first 7 days of my brand new shorts channel I was getting roughly 1-1.8k views on every video I posted. Fast forward to day 10 and I can barely get past 300 views.
I'm stuck between starting again with a different channel or sticking with it at least till I get to the magical 100 videos mark.
Any advice/inspiration would be awesome!

I cant find any info on the taxi drop off location for download, what's the adress you time in for the drop off point? Also what do you do if u need to be dropped of towards the east entrance? Theres no drop off there

I was able to enjoy a few days of relative quiet. That’s how I’d sum it up, really. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, there’d been a downpour the day after Michael came back, so the creek was in flood. Not so much that it was overflowing its banks, but enough that the water was quite audible from where we sat.
The sound of flowing water is something both dlamisa and humans enjoy quite a bit. We have an innate love of the stuff, the noise of it flowing has a naturally calming effect on our minds.
The grass was a little bit damp, somewhat slippery really, as I learned when I tried to catch that blasted ball, and ended up face planting and sliding into the water.
The splash was followed by a few “Oooohs’ from my humans, and my dlamisa counterparts, and when I got up, drenched from head to toe, but ball in hand, Fauve was rubbing the back of her head and looking more than a little bit sheepish.
“Sorry!” She shouted to me as I shook the water free.
“It’s fine.” I answered.
The Walkers of course, found it uniformly hilarious. And so did I, if I’m being honest. The thing I’ve noticed about laughter among humans is one of those things that can be benign, or profoundly cruel. I spent hours discussing this with Bau when she observed the same thing among demihumans, and in studying human comedies.
But it comes down to this. If you’re hurt, it’s not funny, if you look silly and aren’t in a vulnerable place, it’s funny. But if you are, it is not.
Only those secure in mutual affection can laugh at one another’s foibles.
Funnily enough, there was a dog there, one of their ‘boxer’ breeds, a form of dog renowned for its playful and childlike personality, and he did not know what to make of me. He cocked his head, the same as a curious dlamisa, and just ‘stared’ at me as if to say, ‘What kind of dog are you, and how are you walking that way?’
I found it best to ignore dogs, they seemed to think I was one of them, and were often uncomfortable when I didn’t act the same way they did.
Except for the wonders of the ball. I’ll wrestle one of them for that.
Do not ask me why. I have no idea. Or rather, I ‘had’ no idea.
Regardless, I am growing distracted. Outliers it seems, have that generally in common.
I returned with the ball triumphantly in hand and dripping wet to sit at the table. Michael was seated opposite myself and chattering with his mother.
“...So I really want to do it, it’s completely ‘versible, mom, you know that.” He said excitedly.
“Maybe so. But human trials are limited still and I can’t just give you a spot.” Rebecca answered.
“A spot for what?” I asked.
Genghis answered for them, “The reason he didn’t beat his last opponent.”
“What?” I asked and held out my plate for William to pile food onto.
“Genetic enhancement.” Byron clarified. “Like these two got, sort of.” He pointed to Boatswain and Genghis.
“Wait, really?” I was shocked, my jaw dropped. “Is that… I mean, I know humans have pretty good genetic science, you did get rid of genetic predispositions to various mental conditions but… what kind, exactly?”
“Like what they said, the sort of thing those two have.” William answered.
Michael crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Yeah. I’d have won, but he was so much stronger and faster… it doesn’t matter if I’ve got more skill if I can’t pull off what enhancements can.”
“You’re genetically modifying children now?” I asked, and Rebecca rolled her eyes.
“Not exactly. It’s an outgrowth of the Methuselah Initiative. This is where things get kind of…strange.” She pursed her lips and took a bite of mashed potato off her paper plate.
“It’s not that strange.” Fauve interjected while her mother thought. “Is it? I mean genetics are just biological machines, if you think about it. It’s no different than Byron’s augmentations.”
Byron ‘flexed’ with a boyish grin on his face while his muscles expanded dramatically. Genghis, Iskandar, and Boatswain, seemingly inspired by a competitive streak, struck poses for themselves, while notably eyeing the meat that was almost ready. Genetically modified dlamisa muscles bulged beneath their fur in close competition with the two human soldiers, and Michael pointed at them all.
“See! I can’t compete with that!” He insisted.
“That’s as good as telling your mother you want to go into those…blood sports. Way to argue against your own case, my boy.” Rebecca said and made a tut tut gesture with her pointer finger squarely at her son.
“Besides, that’s not what I mean. These modifications come from dlamisan technology given to us by Bau. It’s not even in official use yet, it’s only in human trials because we have a large sample size of…subjects, from the demihumans.” Rebecca replied and pursed her lips for a moment. “Besides, when you think about it, it’s strange that it works at all. What are the odds that deoxyribonucleic acid would be the building blocks of life on even two different worlds. Let alone like what Bau says, where it’s foundational everywhere.”
“Maybe that’s the only way life can form?” Fauve said with a mouthful of corn.
“You may be an adult, but you should still chew and swallow first.” William chimed in and began passing out the meat around the table, bringing its fragrant scent to our delighted noses.
“Even so. You wouldn’t think it would be like this. I’m at a loss to explain it, and so is everybody else.” Rebecca answered, “More importantly,” she looked down her nose at the young boy, “human trials on children are very limited and only to the ones who live on military bases where they can be observed. I’m not expecting anything to go wrong with it, but that’s not the real problem.”
“What is?” Genghis asked, his ears drooped as he settled back down at the long picnic table.
“Consequences for developing brains. No, I don’t mean that kind of consequence.” Rebecca cut off questions before it could be asked, “I mean the social sort. What if the people who are modified grow up thinking they’re better than everyone else? What if some of them become bullies? What if the people without modifications start to discriminate against the modified ones? Don’t tell me that wouldn’t happen when the xenophobes were after me in part because of the Methuselah Initiative and the idea that we were ‘polluting our pure human genes’ or whatever that nonsense was. That whole idea is a myth anyway. Everything is related to everything else and we’re always mutating and…” She paused when William cleared his throat.
She had a point. I hate to admit it, but we’d encountered multiple examples of the dark side of humans.
“Mom, you know I’d never be like…that.” Michael was a little sullen, “It’s just, that’s the only reason I lost.”
“It’s true, Michael has a lot of talent.” The martial four nodded in mutual agreement.
“They really shouldn’t let anyone compete with modifications like that.” William pointed out between bites of his burger. “It’s like performance enhancing drugs.”
“They won’t for the next one, the rules just weren’t updated.” Genghis pointed out, his tail wagging, “I can hardly wait to see what humans will be able to do when genetic modification is added to your cybernetics.”
“I’m requesting to be part of the cybernetic trials.” Boatswain said and cracked his knuckles cockily, “Dlamias is moving faster than Earth on these things.”
“Naturally.” I pointed out, “Just remember why.”
That was a sobering thought. Dlamias was still run the way it had always been, the individual life meant nothing in the face of progress. Trading a handful of soldiers for the knowledge to make many more, that much stronger? Who cared?
I couldn’t even hate them, I couldn’t resent them… all I could do was pity the homeworld, and do what I could to urge forward changes.
But changes were coming to Earth too. Bau was just the first and least official. Xenophobia on Earth was being eroded with every blow of a fist in my tournaments where human and nonhuman fought in pairs, and every ball caught which showed we could compete without killing.
As more technology and scientific exchanges continued, I had no doubt that these human trials would expand and become the norm. Dlamias would influence Earth, and Earth’s tendency toward overdoing everything would lead to them modifying their entire species at the reproductive level.
Which for those who are unfamiliar, would mean that the modifications would become heritable. In time, all humans would be born with strength and agility of the sort only cybernetics gave them now.
I wasn’t worried about that, not as long as the thing that made them truly human was left untouched.
They’re a lot more than the sum of their genes, and for that, I was heartily grateful, because it made that day, like so many others…a good one.

(Please check the pinned comment for additional info, thanks!)
Humans were never at the top of the foodchain. There were things that hid in the dark and preyed on our false confidence. Predators that rarely let their victims live to tell the tale, because their strength lay in their unknowable nature. Pride, the first sin, would always be men's downfall. Our carelessness would ensure that these predators shall never run out of prey.
Almost fourty years ago, I fell victim to one of their kind. I am one of the few who made it out, and lived to tell my story.
But let me start this in the only apropriete way.
My name is Billie, and I was a passenger of the Midnight Train.
In the early eighties, on a cool day in April, I stood at the train station at midnight, a heavy backpack on my shoulders and the earphones of my walkman blasting Metallica at high volume. I was the only person at the station, which wasn't surprising, considering that it was late at night on a weekday. For a second, I stood still in front of the open door and looked at the golden interior. I had made it. Nobody could stop me now.
With a smile on my lips, I stepped over the threshold.
It was a relief to hear the doors close behind me immediately. I wasn't sure where this train was going, but my main priority was to get away from my hometown. As soon as I reached the next big city, I could get on a train towards me real destination.
The train I had boarded was beautiful though. Bathed in golden light, almost painfully bright against the black night outside, was luxurious furniture made of polished wood and gilded metal. A bordeaux red carpet covered the floor and it looked barely used, as if this train was still brand new. This was far from what I had imagined from a random train in the middle of the night.
I took my earphones off and slowly walked down the corridor in an attempt to find a seat for myself. The train was driving already and was rapidly accelerating, so much that the outside was a blur. Good, I thought, because that would get me to the next city quicker.
"Excuse me, Ma'am?"
I flinched and spun around, only to see a man in an old-fashioned uniform, with a face that was so terribly unremarkable it was impossible to describe. He smiled politely, or at least I thought he did because my brain refused to recognize any of his facial features. "Welcome aboard the Midnight Train, Ma'am", he greeted me. "Please, allow me to lead you to your compartment."
"Uhm... yeah, sure", I agreed, more confused than anything. Compartment? Sure, this place was obviously fancy, but this seemed like overkill. I'd only stay here for an hour or so, only until we reached the next bigger train station. I'd be fine with sitting on the floor, honestly.
Still, I followed the Conductor to a compartment, thanked him for leading me here and eventually sat down on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief when he disappeared without asking for my ticket. Maybe he pitied me. Did I look like a runaway? Well, of course I did, what else would a seventeen year old girl with a huge backpack do at a train station at night. I smiled tiredly. The Conductor seemed like a nice person.
I sat the backpack down, put my earphones back on and lay down on the bed. Soon I would be in a train to California and I'd never have to see my parents again.
The problem was, this train didn't stop. Hours later, when I replayed the album in my walkman for the third time, we hadn't reached a single station and the outside was ist an indistinguishable blur. The darkness was slowly getting brighter, the watch on my wrist told me that daybreak wasn't far away, and the train didn't seem to slow down any time soon.
Maybe that was when I realized something was wrong.
I jumped from the bed and grabbed my backpack again. This probably meant nothing, I thought, all I had to do was ask the friendly Conductor and that would clear everything up.
With shaking hands, I opened the compartment door and stepped outside. The Conductor was nowhere to be seen, so I just picked a direction and wandered off. This wagon solely consisted of compartments and I walked past them without paying much attention, when suddenly a bloodcurling scream made me jump.
I screamed and took a step back, while the screeching from behind one of the compartment doors continued. Two children's voices screamed bloody murder behind the door with the number eighteen as I stood with my back agaist the wall, breathing heavily and eyeing said door in horror. "What the hell?", I whispered to myself. "What the actual fucking hell?"
Shaking my head, I hurried quickly past the door, towards the next wagon. This was something I wouldn't mess with. Whatever was happening in there, I'd just inform the Conductor and he would take care of this. It sounded like someone was getting murdered in there, and I wasn't going to put myself in harms way.
Even more unsettled, I entered the next wagon and found myself in a more populated area. Just as luxurious as the rest of the train, but the mood was more casual. Several seats were placed like the would be in a normal train, a few vending machines were placed on the wall, and people were sitting around. What was weird though, was that all these people seemed to keep distance between each other. Although there should have been chatter, the wagon was weirdly quiet.
I took a few tentative steps into the wagon, but nobody paid any attention to me. My eyes wandered over the passengers I walked past. A woman with blonde curly hair was quietly crying; there were bloody bandages wrapped around her lower arm. A man with a long beard was coughing pathetically, the dark beard was covered in grey dust for some reason. A black haired, obviously pregnant woman was reading a children's book to herself.
I stood in the middle of the wagon, looking at the strange passengers and wondering what was going on here when my eyes fell on a man. There was absolutely nothing remarkable about him and that was the thing that stood out to be, between all these weird people. He was bald, wore a fancy suit and simply sat next to a window, looking down at some paper in his hands. For a moment, I stared at him like an idiot.
The silence was broken when the people suddenly started to move. I looked around in confusion as they walked past me, some rather unsteady on their feet. What was going on?
The bald man was the last to stand up, our eyes met and he raised an eyebrow curiously. He walked straight towards me, his briefcase in one hand, the paper in the other.
"Hey!" A hand touched my shoulder.
I spun around and found myself face to face with a young man with dark blonde hair. "What the fuck?!", I snapped at him. "You scared the shit out of me!"
"Really? I'm the one who scares you? In this place?" He chuckled. "You're new, aren't you?"
"Uhm... yeah, I guess? Arrived a few hours ago."
He nodded. "Okay, thought so. Come on, we have to go, I'll explain everything when we're safe." With that, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me along, back out of the wagon.
"Safe from what? Who the hell are you? What's going on?"
"Just give me a minute, will you?", he replied harshly. We passed compartment eighteen again and once more I heard the children scream behind closed doors, but the man paid no attention to that. We hurried down the hall, past my own compartment, and at the very end of the wagon, we entered the last compartment, where he threw the door shut behind us.
I did not get the chance to say anything before I was tackled to the ground by something large and black.
I screamed and tried to free myself from the heavy thing that held my body down. All I saw was pitch black and there was something wet against my face. The man yelled something and then the black thing was yanked off of me and I gasped for air, trying desperately to comprehend what had just happened.
When I sat up again, I saw what had attacked me. A giant black dog, a very fluffy one in fact, stood next to the man, looking up at him with tired eyes while he was scolding it. Okay then. Nothing bad, just a cute dog.
The man turned to me. "Sorry, she tends to get a bit... excited", he said with an apologetic smile.
"Yeah, I noticed." I got back up and crossed my arms in front of my chest. "So... why am I here?"
"First things first, yeah? I'm Derek and this cutie next to me is Kira."
"I'm Billie. Now get to the point!"
He nodded. "Short version, this train is fucked and you need to know some things or you'll be dead by tomorrow."
I felt my stomach drop. For a moment there was absolute silence and my mind was racing until I realized what was going on. "That's not funny!", I hissed. "Honestly, pull your stupid jokes on someone else. I'm gonna go to my compartment now and wait until we reach the next stop, where I will get off this train. Okay?" I turned around and went to open the door when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.
"Fuck, don't go out there now! Just sit down and listen, okay? I'm not joking", he said urgently.
"You're annoying, you know that?" Still, I sat down on the bed and Kira wandered over to me immediately and rested her head in my lap. At least I got to pet a cute dog, I thought as I brushed over her dark fur.
Derek sat down next to me. "Okay... this will sound completely unbelievable, but please keep in mind that this train hasn't stopped in several hours and you agree that this is weird, right?"
I shrugged, but nodded. It was weird, he had a point there.
"Listen, the Midnight Train... it's cursed or something. There are inhuman things here and you have to be careful around them because they will kill you if you do something wrong. You have to follow certain rules to survive here."
Another moment of silence, then I shook my head. "Still not funny, asshole."
"Oh for fuck's sake..." He stood up, walked over to his cabinet and took something out. It took a second for me to understand what the black thing he showed me was. A dead raven. "A child whose mouth is sewn shut gave me this thing yesterday. This isn't a prank, Billie, I'm serious. This place is fucked."
I looked at the dead bird in his hands. He did have a point, nobody would go that far for a prank. Well, and all the people had started to leave that wagon at the same time, which was also very weird. The screaming kids in compartment eighteen, the fact that I couldn't for the life of me recall the Conductor's face, and that the train hadn't stopped once in the past seven hours...
This was bad.
"Let's say I believe all of this...", I said slowly. "How can we get off this train?"
He put the dead animal away again. "Depends... you've got a ticket?"
"Nope. Left in a bit of a hurry. I just hoped nobody would check." I shrugged.
"Fuck!", he cursed. Defeated, he dropped down on the bed again. "That means we're both stuck, girlie. No leaving without a ticket."
My blood ran cold. "You can't be serious."
"I wish I was joking. If you don't have a ticket, you don't get to leave."
I buried my face in my hands, mumbling no over and over again. This couldn't be real. I couldn't be stuck in a cursed train for the rest of my life. I was only seventeen. All I had wanted was to get away from my parents and now... no, there had to be a way out. All I had to do was survive until I found it. I could do that. I would survive and get out of here.
"Hey, are you alright?", Derek asked, sounding slightly worried. Kira made a small noise.
"Yes." I took a deep breath, wiped any tears from my eyes and looked straight at him. "Okay, tell me the rules. What are we hiding from right now?"
"The Fog. Every day at seven a.m. you have to be in your compartment for half an hour because the entire train fills with cold white fog. I saw a corpse once, of a person who didn't hide away... that shit's not harmless. Tears you apart from the inside." He shivered. "The guy was empty, Billie. I swear to god, all that was left of him was skin and bones."
Okay. Okay. That sounded absolutely horrifying, but easy enough to avoid. "Okay. Be in your compartment at seven. Got it. What else?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You're awfully calm."
I was actually freaking out, but running up and down like a headless chicken wouldn't get me anywhere. The most important thing right now was information, and I'd take everything he had to offer in this regard. "I'll cry later. Go on, what else is running around here? Who gave you the bird?"
"I call him the Distributor. Creepy kid with pitch black eyes and a mouth that's sewn shut. That little fucker is just weird. He walkes up to you, hands you some shit and runs off again. Not dangerous, as far as I can tell."
"And what's the dead raven all about?"
"No idea." He shrugged.
Well, that was moderately concerning, but alright. Better than the murder fog. "Okay. The screaming kids?"
"Compartment eighteen. Completely off limits. Just don't open the door and you're fine."
He went on to tell me that the Conductor was a neutral presence in the train, neither friend nor enemy of the passengers. The food sources were either the vending machines or the dining wagon, though the latter was apparently a bit problematic. He didn't know all the details about this, only that people tended to flee when their waiter had no face and that he had once seen a man cut his palm open when a white-haired woman had brought him a plate.
"Sounds like something I want to stay away from", I commented.
"Sure, the vending machines are safer, but trust me, you can only live off chips and candy for so long."
"Are you challenging me?" I grinned. "I'll see how long I can last. By the way, I'm hungry."
He shook his head. "You're really calm", he stated and he was right. I was calm. Right now, this sounded bad, but managable. I would be able to stick to a few rules. I would survive. I would find a way out of this mess.
On the bright side, I was as far away from my parents as humanly possible.
"We can't leave yet", he continued. "Five more minutes before the Fog's gone." He pointed at the door and I saw hints of white fog creep inside the compartment.
"Okay. I'll just cuddle with your dog." With that, I got off the bed and lay down on the floor. Kira seemed happy, because she cuddled against me immediately. That dog was almost as big as I was, with an unreasonable amout of fur. I loved her already.
When the Fog was gone, we decided to head out and get some food from the vending machines. Derek was nice enough, I thought. I was glad he had approached me, not only because he had saved my life and given me neccessary information, but also because it figured it was good to have a friend in here. Two idiots without a ticket and a dog, trying to find their way out. That was the stuff they made movies about.
Derek told me how he had stumbled into the train after finding his girlfriend with another man. He had simply taken Kira and ran off, entering the Midnight Train on accident, just like I had. I didn't tell him my reason to be here though. Like I said, I could use a friend in here and I didn't want to scare him off. He didn't need to know anyways.
"What do you want?" I turned my head to look at Derek, who only shrugged. As I looked back at the vending machine display, I blinked in confusion. The food, which had been brand new a minute ago, was now greyish and covered in dust. "What the...?", I started and turned to Derek again, who had gone pale like a ghost. Kira was growling lowly.
Everything in the wagon was turning grey. The light dimmed, a thick layer of dust covered the floor and furniture, the air was so dry it scratched my throat. "Shit", Derek whispered. "The Cinder Queen. Listen, do not run! Her minions are predators, you don't want to set off their hunting instinct."
"The fuck is going on??"
He didn't answer, just reached out and grabbed my wrist in a bruising grip. His eyes were focused on the other side of the wagon and I followed his look. What was approaching was the most beautiful and horrific thing I had ever seen.
The Cinder Queen was breathtaking. A tall woman with long black hair and ashen skin. Her dress was fitting for a queen, wide and flowing and detailed with intricate patterns, all grey in grey. She was thin, all skin and bones, sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, and she moved with the grace of a cat as she walked down the hall.
And behind her followed a crowd of monsters of ash and soot. Grey, hulking bodies that only vaguely resembled a human, walking on all fours while almost staying upright due to their grotesquely long arms. They had no eyes in their misshapen heads, only a wide mouth that almost reached around the skull, baring long, thin teeth and a snake-like tongue.
The world around us was silent as the Cinder Queen and her followers approached; all I could hear was my heartbeat echoing in my ears. I didn't dare to move an inch. She came closer and for a moment I dared to hope she would walk right past us, but of course the entity didn't have mercy. She stopped in front of us and now that I saw her up close, I realized that what I had thought to be sunken eyes were actually hollow voids.
Her hand reached out and long, boney fingers touched my face. From this proximity I could trace the cobweb of cracks in her dry skin. She opened her mouth and a thin, split tongue slithered out and flickered over my face. I shivered, frozen in place from fear. This was it, I thought. I was going to die.
And then she smiled and let go off me, only to turn her attention to Derek. I didn't relax in the slightest as I had to watch her grab his face like she had done to me before. Again, her lips twisted into a cruel smile and with that she grabbed him tighter and pressed her lips against his.
I bit down on my lip to keep myself from making a noise.
It was only a moment before she let go off him, turned away and continued to walk down the hallway, her ashen monsters always right behind her.
As she left the wagon, I got to watch the ashes fade away and the world regain its colour. My heart was racing, I could hear the blood rushing in my ears, but there was no time for me calm down. Derek had let go off my wrist and had fallen to his knees, coughing violently.
"Hey! Hey, are you okay? What did that bitch do?", I asked urgently.
He looked up to me, a pained smile on his face. "Nothing fatal. I'm okay, don't worry." His voice was hoarse.
"Are you sure?" I was not convinced at all, mostly because he looked pale as a ghost and had started to cough again.
"Yup." He got back up and brushed some dust off his clothes. "Come on, you were hungry, weren't you?"
"Are you going to explain what just happened?"
"Back in the compartment, okay?"
So we purchased some food at the nearby vending machines and walked back to the compartment. The way wasn't interrupted by anything, thankfully. We passed the pregnant woman again and I thought how terrible it must be for her to be stuck in place like this with an unborn child, and we walked past the bald man too, who held some chocolate in his hand. He looked up for just a moment, his bright blue eyes focused on my coughing companion, before he turned his attention back to the chocolate bar.
Back in the compartment, we were instantly tackled by Kira, who was overjoyed to have us back. After a very enthusiastic greeting, the giant dog settled on the floor at our feet, though her big brown eyes rested on her owner the entire time. Derek and I sat on the bed again, our food between us, but I was the only one that was eating.
"The Cinder Queen...", he began to explain. "She's the one thing the rules won't save you from. Nobody really knows how to counter her, she just shows up sometimes and turns the world around her into this dusty mess." He shrugged. "She unpredictable. Just stay still and wait... and maybe pray a bit."
"I'm not religious."
He chuckled. "Now would be a good time to reconsider."
Derek continued to cough and I asked him several more times wether he was sure he was alright, but he promised me that it was nothing and eventually I let it go. I ended up going back to my compartment after a while, because after all that had happened I wanted to rest for a bit. Earphones back on, I laid on my admittedly very comfortable bed and stared at the ceiling, contemplating the events of the day.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Although I had stayed calm when talking to my new friend, I was absolutely terrified to be in a place like this. A place that, by all accounts, should not even exist. I had lived my entire life not believing in the paranormal, only to end up in a place filled with inhuman creatures that would kill me as soon as I made a single mistake. And worst of all, with one of them it was entirely up to chance wether or not I would survive an encounter. A terrifying prospect.
I fell asleep eventually and was plagued with nightmares of ash and soot. In my dreams I hurried through monochrome corridors, the Cinder Queen's ashen monsters at my heels, and when I woke up my heart was racing and I was drenched in sweat.
"Still better than home", I muttered bitterly to myself as I changed my clothes. The cabinet was filled with clothes in my size, which was weird, but far from the weirdest thing in this place. They were a bit to girly for my taste, but they would suffice. I chose something that didn't look completely atrocious and made my way back to Derek's compartment a few doors down.
My fears from yesterday were confirmed when I walked through the door.
Derek was lying on his bad and for a moment I thought he was dead. His skin was ashen, his mouth stained with dust, his breath shallow and interrupted with coughs. Kira sat on the floor next to her owner and whined.
"For fuck's sake", I cursed. "I thought you were okay?"
"Billie! Oh thank god you're here." He sounded weak, as if speaking demanded all his strength. "Listen, there's another... entity I haven't mentioned. The Blind Beggar Woman. She... she can help me. Just make sure..." He coughed. "Make sure to ask for her price first. She makes deals, she can... save me."
"Okay. Okay, Blind Beggar Lady. Got it." I nodded quickly. "Where is she?"
"She'll be there if you look for her. She always is. Please, Billie, please hurry."
"I'll be right back!", I promised, turned around and hurried out of the compartment.
I ran down the hall, not entirely sure what I was looking for. All I knew was that I had to find that entity quickly, because my friend had looked like he was about to drop dead at any given moment. Interally I cursed the man for lying to me, for claiming he was fine when the exact opposite was the case. Now it was my job to save his life and under normal circumstances that would be okay, but now that I had to deal with one of the train's entities, I wasn't so sure.
I left the wagon with the compartments behind and entered one of the common ones, only to find the person I was looking for sitting right in front of me. A woman in her thirties maybe, with dark skin and long dark hair, sitting cross-legged on the floor with a small bowl in front of her. Her eyes were completely white and she wore wrinkled, ill-fitted clothes.
"Hi", I greeted her, my voice shaking more than I had expected. "I want to make a deal."
"Yes, I am aware", she replied calmly. "Why don't you sit down and we discuss this?"
I decided to humour her and knelt down on the floor, so that we were at eye-level now. The Blind Beggar Woman looked so nice and painfully human that I had a hard time believing I was dealing with an inhuman thing. I wanted to trust her and it was a conscious effort to keep my guard up. "A friend of mine is dying. He says you can save him."
"He is right, I am able to save him, as long as you are willing to pay the price, Sybille."
So this lady just knew my name. That was certainly among the more freaky things that had happened up until this point. "Billie", I corrected automatically. "Why am I supposed to pay? It's his life you're saving."
"You came to me. This deal is between you and I, so you will pay the price", she explained. "Are you interested?"
I didn't like this in the slightest. "Tell me the price!"
She closed her blind eyes and smiled. "Your friend is on the verge of death, Billie. What you're asking from me is no small favour. Are you willing to give up one of your arms for his life?"
"What?" My blood ran cold. "You want one of my limbs?"
"This is the price."
Confused, I looked down at my hands. An arm. An entire fucking arm. I was supposed to become an amputee for a man I'd only known for a day. My only friend in this cursed place. A stranger.
It was probably a small price to pay for a life.
"So?", the Beggar Woman asked. "Will you pay?"
There was a lump in my throat. I took a shaking breath and swallowed hard, unable to speak at first. "I can't", I finally admitted. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not the person you should be apologizing to." The Blind Woman stood up. "If you hurry, you might get the chance to say goodbye to him."
"Already? Fuck!" Now I, too, jumped to my feet and without a goodbye to her, I ran back to the compartment. I had no idea how to explain this to Derek, but maybe I wouldn't even have to.
The way back was short, but I was out of breath when I arrived. I threw the door open and stopped at the treshold, frozen in place.
He looked like he was suffering a seizure. His body was convulsing, he screamed in pain as his skin turned grey, his form was changing and growing in the strangest proportions. Kira was barking in distress. Derek's arms were growing, his skull deforming. He looked at me and choked out my name in between agonized screams and then his eyes disappeared. It was the most horrible thing I had ever seen.
Before I knew what was happening, an ash monster lay where Derek had been just a minute ago and the creature moved, clumsily but fast. It staggered around the room, bumped into the walls, hissing and baring his teeth, and I couldn't do anything but watch as it stumbled around in its confused state before turning towards me and running. I threw myself to the side, out of the way, and the creature ran straight past me, out of the door. It ran into the wall before hurrying down the hallway, out of sight.
I collapsed to the floor, trying to calm down my racing heart.
Kira walked over to me and put her head into my lap. To hear her whine was heartbreaking, but I couldn't do anything but pet her. "I'm so sorry, baby. I couldn't save him", I told the dog. "Don't worry, you just stay with me, okay? I won't leave you. You and I, we're gonna make it out of here. That stupid Cinder Queen won't get us."
Kira just looked up at me with her big eyes.
We stayed like this for quite a while. Derek, or rather the thing that had once been Derek, didn't return and I took the time to mourn his loss. Eventually though, I knew that waiting wouldn't do any good. I wanted to get out and I had to work for it. Derek was gone and since I didn't think I could do this alone, I needed a new friend.
And so I wandered into a common wagon hours later, Kira walking next to me. And there he was again, sitting next to a window and studying some piece of paper he held in his hands. My newly acquired dog in tow, I simply walked up to him and smiled. "Hi", I greeted the bald man with the bright blue eyes. "So, are you human?"
This is where I end this for now. The next part will be about new friends and deadly nightmares. But until then, don't lay your life into the hands of a stranger.
They might not value it quite enough.
- To Be Continued -

While I feel as though the balance with forward reinforcement trucks has largely been addressed I am curious as to what people think in regards to this concept. Maybe it’s been suggested before over the course of CoH2’s reign but it’s a thought I had and would like to share for some insight from the community. Also I’m aware with the change that occurred in terms of reinforcement times, this concept may overnerf the med trucks. This was an alternative to that change.
So the idea is the truck containing a pool of troops to reinforce from rather than having an indefinite amount that just funnels out of the truck. Not sure what the correct count would be but let’s say 20-40 troops. As it’s out near the front line it’s reinforcing from that pool and once it runs out you would need to return the truck to base to reinforce the med truck. It can stay providing aid via healing troops but not reinforcements unless it is filled up again. Now to avoid any imbalance to how the game works you would not pay for the filling of the med truck but rather only when it reinforces a squad. I think everyone would agree it would suck to have a truck destroyed after paying 100-300 man power to fill it up. Maybe this goes against the change bringing forth more of a realistic use of the trucks but having you pay upfront would not be ideal for gameplay and could snowball games with such losses.
In part I like the idea because as it stands now in CoH you often see no utilization of transports for troops and logically it makes sense to need to reinforce the truck too. As someone new to the franchise it’s just been odd to see little to no usage/incentive to transport troops faster to the frontline. Only time I do currently is in the beginning as USF with the Weasel before I upgrade it. That’s 1 trip with 1 squad. Now they added the ability to board tanks but I rarely see use of it and quite frankly I would like them to drop the troops off immediately upon encountering an enemy vehicle or AT. I don’t think people would stay on a tank that is being shot at lol With that said introducing this mechanic would possibly result in people actually using the truck as a means to transport troops to the frontline. Maybe it introduces too much additional micro but it sounds like a logical mechanic and breaks up the potential for blobbing with the med truck.
Thoughts?

I don’t know what to do my girlfriend and i have a almost 5 month old lil bot but ever since I suppose weve had him its been rough from the start yeah no one said it was going to be a piece of cake or a walk in the park but everything i do seems to piss her off i can seem to satisfy her i ask a question and i get yelled at.. and its bringing back alot of childhood trauma and ptsd, i go to weekly therapy sessions to help cope with everything like my sons traumatic birth and i am on a pile of medications to help with my everything … and shes dropped all her appointments and medications.. like what the fuck do i do and when ever I mention her going to a doctor it is NOT a good idea .. please help

Allow me to preface this by saying I love the Metal Gear Saga, I love Kojima's ideas, and I'm glad people are excited to see this remake happening and want Kojima involved, but I need to explain to you all in uncensored detail as to why Kojima not being involved truly is the best case scenario for the series going forward.
Metal Gear Solid Δ: Snake Eater is being worked on by two experienced teams who have worked on the series in the past. Not only that, but they are set on making sure the remake is a faithful recreation that only does what is necessary to be enjoyed on modern hardware. There's also new merch, a gorgeously detailed board game, they got Donna Burke coming back for a new recording of snake Eater, and the game isn't being made for a Pachinko machine. It's also being worked on by a Konami that has new management after getting rid of the old management we've come to despise over the years. They haven't shown anything malicious with this or the upcoming Silent Hill 2 remake, so I'm more than willing to give them a second chance, because this is a new Konami. With that out of the way, please read on because the rest of this is important to take note of.
What people fail to understand is that while, yes, it would be amazing to have Kojima working on this, he also did a lot of shady stuff. Due to his Hollywood obsessed ego, people like Norihiko Hibino (who helped with creating the music for Ghost Babel, Sons of Liberty, Twin Snakes, Snake Eater, Portable Ops and Guns of the Patriots) and Tomokazu Fukushima (Kojima's writer for MGS1-3) all basically had their names pushed aside so he could give the main spotlight to more well known Hollywood famous people. Hibino was undermined in MGS2 in favor of Hollywood famous Harry Gregson-Williams and after MGS1-3, Fukushima basically dropped off of the face of the Earth. He's the reason Kojima's games were understandable and more grounded into reality, versus Kojima's writing where MGS4 is all nanomachiens and MGSV is all parasites.
Kojima's also responsible for Twin Snakes being as weird as it ended up being, as the devs originally wanted to make it a 1-1 remake with VR Missions included with new graphics, but Kojima said to make it more like the Matrix which is the complete opposite of how MGS1 was meant to be. Kojima also used the budget that Konami gave him to make MGSV and went behind their back to make a deal with Sony by using said budget to create P.T. as an interview of sorts to secure him a job position at Sony, which is why MGSV went overbudget. In other words, Kojima's the man who sold the world. Let's not forget how Kojima also shafted David Hayter in favor for Kiefer Sutherland when Hayter deserved the role with how passionate he is. Hayter took a massive cut to his paycheck just to make sure they could get most of the original voice cast to return for Twin Snakes, because he knew how much the game meant to people. Kojima would've just told them to find different actors or something along those lines.
Metal Gear Solid 1-3 were all a team effort between Konami and Kojima, not an all Kojima effort, and the fact that so many like to believe it can only be done with Kojima, look at Twin Snakes, Ghost Babel, Ac!d, Ac!d 2 and Portable Ops. Kojima wasn't fully involved, yet they managed to stand on their own, and Twin Snakes would've been better received had Kojima NOT been involved. He's had some really questionable ideas too, like wanting the fight against The End to last three real world weeks, which would've just been annoying to go through and would become rather dull very quickly. Konami ensured that Kojima was kept grounded to reality in terms of gameplay elements and story, while Kojima provided the raw outline of the story and the concept of the characters we love to this day. I hate to be the one to say it, but a Kojima-less remake is the best course of action we could ever hope for. Kojima also undermined Portable Ops because like every other Metal Gear game, it contradicts things, but this time, Kojima didn't direct it, so that justifies it not being canon, apparently. And while, yes, Peace Walker handled the ideas that Portable Ops was trying to convey better in the end and had better gameplay, Portable Ops had more interesting bosses and music.
You guys can look all of these points up as well both through various websites and through YouTube. Kojima's got interesting ideas, but he's a bad writer on his own and a questionable game designer at best in terms of gameplay ideas. Creative minds need to be kept in check from time to time, which is exactly what Kojima needed in MGS4 and MGSV. I says this as somebody who creates stuff himself from time to time. Here's some videos that explain these points further. I love MGS and I respect Kojima's work, but I don't respect having a massive ego, pushing people aside to give others the spotlight, or going behind peoples' backs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_1Lt56Pnqg&pp=ygUaa29uYW1pIGRvZXNuJ3QgbmVlZCBrb2ppbWE%3D https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWFSETZavt35xf9nAJDBsMapZ7inC2UvP
Here's hoping for the best for the series going forward, and I love you all. Have a nice day, and for those of you who read this with an open mind, remember this: You're pretty good.
Edit: I know I'm repeating what Pliskin BOI mentioned, but that's because I really can't describe all of these points any better. He hit the nail right on the coffin.