Blowing kisses gif
Where Gifs Meet Inception
2014.10.29 23:18 G0mega Where Gifs Meet Inception
Ever have a gif that seems perfect for inception? This is your go-to-place for creating a "gifinception" post! Simply post a gif, with the initial phase of inception, and watch the replies flow in! Or, if you already have a gif that caters to being one of "gifception" post it here, and show us what you came up with! Let's create tons of gifs, full of inception goodness.
2014.03.03 03:37 invalid_username- Your Brain Splatter Platter.
Did you see something that just completely blows your mind? Or perhaps you read an article that is particularly mind blowing. Whether it's a picture, gif, video, article, new technology, science experiment, historical fact, or just something you've read, that blew your mind... **THIS** is the place to share it with the reddit community: **TBMM - ThisBlewMyMind.**
2016.12.07 11:29 piponwa AI freak out
For all the things an Artificial Intelligence has done that made you say WTF! The idea behind this sub is to post images or other media generated by AIs that really puzzle the human brain. AIs are now as good or better than we are at labeling images. The thing is that you can run AIs in reverse to obtain bogus images made from what the AI thinks you want generated. The result can be psychedelic or just mind blowing. Videos, texts and music are also welcome. Check out the wiki for more resources
2023.06.04 18:25 Significant_Unit2885 18Mlost my v card to an escort yesterday
I was raised in an ultra conservative, traditional southern baptist family. I was homeschooled through high school, most of my friends were from the small church we went to. I’m naturally introverted and pretty solitary, so the few chances I had with women in my teens I was so naive or terrified nothing happened. The escort today has been the third person since I’ve started talking a bit more about how I was raised to ask if it was a cult. Yeah, kinda…
I left that state and headed west a couple years ago. I’ve had a pretty cool job, rebuilt(building) a new world view, and traveled all over the country. I’ve gained a lot of life experience…except when it comes to women.
I decided to go this route more because I couldn’t come up with a good reason not to, instead of a particular reason that I should. I’m going back to school this fall and wanted to get the first time out of the way. I’m heading out on another long road trip tomorrow, and when I started thinking about this a couple weeks ago just kinda said fuck it. What a way to start the summer
I stumbled across the sexworker and related subs which got this ball rolling, I followed their advice for finding a provider and read a bunch of threads from other dudes that have gone this route. I found a preferred provider and a back up that checked all the boxes for being legit in a nearby major city (I’m in the US). Booking and screening was a breeze, and then I just had a week to wait.
Overall, it was thoroughly enjoyable. The concept of kissing kinda grossed me out, but it blew me away. Making out was the best part, like seriously way better than I’d have ever guessed. I also didn’t have much expectation for a blow job going in, but again it was great. She gave it bareback which surprised me, then I got scared I’d nut in her mouth on accident.
We fucked in a few different positions, I guess I was just too nervous and eventually went limp. Ultimately I think the act (she was good, but I’ve been saying “but really?” to myself since her first response “I’d love to meet with you”) and getting psyched up for it all week just fucked with me psychologically.
I had a lot of fun, I wondered a couple times during the booking process if I wanted to follow through or just ghost. I’ve learned at this point never to say never, but I don’t have any immediate plans to see her again or another sex worker. Ultimately the goal is to make some new friends and have a relationship, this wasn’t a life changing experience. Im sure I’ll still be nervous around new people, and have to force myself to get out there, but at a minimum it’s a monkey off my back, and maybe it’ll be motivation to get in therapy, continue to grow, etc etc.
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2023.06.04 17:43 curiousmind2003 Hooked up with someone and I can't get him out of my head . I need help
Last month, I (29 F) had hit it off with this dude (30 M) during a work trip;and we had sex and we enjoyed it. I was looking forward to the next time. This time though, we just went straight to the bedroom. I really liked this guy and was hoping to have a good time. But then, he suddenly pulled my hand and asked me to feel his dick and blow him. I just said "no", because I don't like giving blowjobs. He tried convincing me, but somehow I didn't feel comfortable. I was hoping for some other foreplay but I didn't express it. I just thought he'd get the cue. He respected my choice and I walked out. He said he was very attracted to me, but then I was hoping that it would start with something like foreplay (kissing, hugging etc) I was looking forward to have a good time and that didn't happen and now I can't get him out of my head. I don't think I will ever be meeting him again. It's affecting my concentration and day to day activities. I keep playing different scenarios in my mind, so much that it is upsetting me. Again, this was something with no strings attached so I am not sure why it is affecting me so much. What do I need to do to get him out of my head? I don't really date that often so finding someone else is not really an option. . What help can I get? Is this some sort of a mental condition that needs professional help?
TL;DR - Had great sex during first hookup, did not go as plan ed during second and now it's affecting me.
Edit : I am so confused. I should be relieved, but instead , I am feeling terrible for the missed opportunity. Before the sexual advance, he casually mentioned that he is into hookers and he also snorted coke in front of me. I wonder if my mind is f'd up in many levels , to an extent that if I am attracted to a person the first time and then I find out bad stuff about them, I get into this denial mode and keep thinking about them 24x7. Its so bad that I need to prepare for a test and instead I keep thinking about him and checking out his FB photos
submitted by curiousmind2003
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2023.06.04 17:36 RFC2001 Rebooking Every WWE PPV from WrestleMania 1 - WrestleMania 40 - Part 45 (Long)
Judgment Day 2007
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Two-out-of-Three Falls Match for the United States Championship:
MVP (c) vs Chris Benoit (2-0)
Melina (c) vs Mickie James
Bobby Lashley (c) vs Carlito
(Carlito hosts the Carlito Cabana and his guest is Bobby Lashley. Carlito says the way Bobby Lashley has disrespected Mr. McMahon is not cool but what will be cool is him winning the Intercontinental Championship. Lashley says Carlito just like Umaga can kiss Vince’s ass as much as he wants, it’s not going to result in him losing to a little punk like him.)
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
The Hardy Boyz (c) vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
(After the match, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas attack The Hardy’s and it’s revealed they’ve reunited!)
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
CM Punk (c) vs Elijah Burke
(Elijah Burke attacks CM Punk on ECW and says he’s not finished with him just because he pinned Marcus Cor Von at Backlash. Burke says he’s going to clean up ECW for Vince McMahon by getting the ECW Championship off him because Vince is right, Punk is a misfit who’ll never succeed in the WWE and is only the ECW champion through pure luck. Punk says not only is ECW the land of extreme but it’s also the land of misfits and it makes him and the ECW Championship the perfect marriage. Punk promises to not lose his title to a shameless ass kisser like Elijah Burke.)
World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs Mark Henry vs Batista
(After winning the World Heavyweight Championship, Edge says once again he’s proved he’s not only the best wrestler in the company but he’s also the smartest as he watched The Undertaker take the ultimate beating before cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase. Batista interrupts and tells Edge that he might think he’s smart but the reality is, he’s nothing but a coward who stole the World Heavyweight Championship and it won’t be long till he takes back what’s his. Mark Henry says not only is he back and took out The Undertaker, he’s going to destroy Batista again like he has before and will have no issue taking out Edge too because he has the one thing he really wants an opportunity at, the World Heavyweight Championship. Edge says both men have nothing to do with him and can stay away from his World Heavyweight Championship. However, Teddy Long disagrees and tells Edge that Batista and Mark Henry both have a case so Edge will defend his title against both men at Judgment Day. Edge is furious, already feels like Teddy Long has an agenda against him and demands to be traded back to Raw but Long denies Edge his request. During the match, Batista and Henry are so focused on beating the hell out of each other that it costs them as Edge hits a Spear out of nowhere on Batista and pins him to retain his championship.)
60 Minute Iron Man Match for the WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Shawn Michaels (6-5)
(Shawn Michaels says he had John Cena beat at Backlash and if he wasn’t lucky, he’d be the WWE Champion. Michaels then challenges Cena to defend the WWE Championship against him one more time at Judgment Day. Cena accepts the challenge because he’s a fighting champion. Michaels says he doesn’t want this to be an ordinary match and tells Cena he wants it to a match he won his first WWE Championship at WrestleMania 12, an Iron Man Match! Cena says that’s fine because Shawn Michaels is about to find out he isn’t the only iron man in the WWE. Cena also proposes for it to be for a full hour which Michaels accepts. This is essentially the match they had on Raw in London in real life but with a different outcome. John Cena wins 6-5 to retain the WWE Championship in all time classic. After the match as Shawn Michaels gets up and receives a standing ovation from the fans, Randy Orton from out of nowhere hits him with an RKO, beats the hell out of The Showstopper in front of his wife to the point he bleeds and punts him in the skull. This writes Michaels off TV.)
(The WWE Draft takes place on the May 28th 2007 episode of Raw. The same picks as in real life occur apart from the fact Bobby Lashley doesn’t need to be drafted to Raw because he’s already a Raw superstar 😅.)
One Night Stand 2007
Location: Jackson Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship:
The Hardy Boyz (c) vs The World’s Greatest Tag Team
Mickie James (c) vs Candice Michelle
Bobby Lashley (c) vs Carlito vs Umaga w/Armando Estrada
(Umaga wins the championship after pinning Carlito thanks to Shane McMahon attacking Bobby Lashley who was on verge of retaining his title.)
Kane vs Mark Henry
(Kane goes after Mark Henry and promises there will be vengeance after what he did to his brother The Undertaker. Henry says Kane doesn’t intimidate him just like The Undertaker doesn’t and he’s just another man on his path of destruction.)
Rob Van Dam vs Randy Orton
(This is Van Dam’s last match in the company for a while as he leaves for TNA.)
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
CM Punk (c) vs Chris Benoit
(Vince McMahon says he’s confident for sure that CM Punk’s days as ECW champion are rightfully numbered because he’ll be defending his title against the new draft pick… Chris Benoit! Benoit says Punk’s a talented wrestler but he’s no Chris Benoit, the greatest technical wrestler on the planet. Punk says he has a huge level of respect for what Benoit’s accomplished in his wrestling career but he sees this as a massive opportunity to prove doubters like Vince McMahon wrong and he’ll ensure he does in what’s no doubt his biggest challenge since winning the ECW Championship. CM Punk wins clean to retain.)
Steel Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs Batista
(Batista says that weasel Edge being the World Champion makes him sick and promises he’ll destroy him and take back the title. Edge says Batista doesn’t deserve another chance at the World Championship but Theodore Long disagrees and says Batista’s two one on one rematches for the title never had a definitive finish so he announces Edge will face Batista at One Night Stand and the match will be… a Steel Cage Match! Edge tries to convince Long to change the stipulation but Long isn’t having it and tells him he’s giving the fans what they want. Edge sneaks a chain into the match, smashes Batista over the head with it and escapes the cage to retain the World Heavyweight Championship.)
Falls Count Anywhere Match for the WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Booker T w/Sharmell
(After being drafted to Raw, Booker T immediately sets his sights on becoming the WWE Champion. Booker T says Raw is a far fairer run place with Jonathan Coachman in charge compared to SmackDown with Teddy Long. Booker T basically kissing the ass of Coachman is why he grants him the opportunity and Coachman also announces it’ll be a Falls Count Anywhere Match. Cena says he’ll punch Booker T’s teeth down his throat while still proving he’s the top dog in the company while Booker T promises to win the 1 title that’s eluded him in his legendary career.)
(Sadly, the Chris Benoit tragedy happens between the 22nd-24th of June 2007.)
My opinion on Chris Benoit:
(So, now we’re finally here in the timeline 😬. First of all I just want to say to those who may ask “why have you pushed a murderer?” In the timeline, I’m booking as if I’m in all these years. As a booker, how would I know in 2004 for example what’s going to unfold in 2007? That’s why Benoit is pushed. I’m not going to utterly bury him while he’s alive in the timeline. Now what I’m going to do here is bury him now the tragic events have unfolded. Chris Benoit in my opinion is one of the greatest technical wrestlers of all time, I will never dispute that. I was a huge fan of his and when he won the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 20, it was an unbelievable moment and the fact he celebrated with Eddie Guerrero topped it all off. However, what he did was unforgivable and anyone who has any conspiracy theories like he was framed, I’m sorry it’s just not true and the police investigated it properly. The facts are, Chris Benoit did murder his wife Nancy and his son Daniel. I don’t care about CTE or the fact he apparently had a year to live with an enlarged heart. As Paul Heyman said an interview once, f*ck him. The facts are that Chris Benoit murdered his wife, murdered his son and then proceeded to kill himself. The WWE will absolutely never put him in the Hall of Fame and that’s the correct decision because Benoit lost that respect when he did what he did. I personally hope he rots and this is the last he’ll ever be mentioned in this timeline. I want to lastly say to finish this off, my heart goes out to those affected by this tragedy back in 2007 and Rest in Peace to Nancy and Daniel Benoit ❤️.)
Vengeance: Night of Champions 2007
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
United States Championship:
MVP (c) vs Ric Flair
Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Jamie Noble
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
The World’s Greatest Tag Team (c) vs The Hardy Boyz
Candice Michelle (c) vs Mickie James
Umaga (c) vs Santino Marella
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
CM Punk (c) vs Johnny Nitro
(Johnny Nitro surprisingly replaces The Invisible Man and challenges CM Punk for the ECW Championship when he wasn’t prepared for him. Nitro cheats to win the championship off of Punk, much to the satisfaction of Mr. McMahon.)
WWE Tag Team Championship:
Deuce ‘n Domino (c) w/Cherry vs Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore
Last Chance Match for the World Heavyweight Championship - If Edge is counted out of disqualified, he’ll lose the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs Batista
(After One Night Stand, Batista asks Teddy Long for one more opportunity after Edge’s cowardly acts at One Night Stand. Edge tells Teddy to give Batista the match on one condition, if Batista loses he can never challenge for the title as long as he’s champion. Teddy Long grants Edge his request but also tells him if he gets counted out or disqualified, he’ll lose the World Heavyweight Championship to Batista. During the match, there’s a referee bump and Batista is getting ready to finish this until The Great Khali appears and lays out The Animal! Edge capitalises when the referee regains consciousness and pins Batista to retain the World Heavyweight Championship.)
Six-Pack Challenge Match for the WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Carlito vs Mr.Kennedy vs Randy Orton vs Booker T w/Sharmell vs Bobby Lashley
(All 5 men make a case to be the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship. John Cena says he’ll welcome all comers to prove he’s the man. Jonathan Coachman tells Cena to be careful what he wishes for because at Night of Champions, he’ll be defending the WWE Title against all of them! John Cena retains the WWE Championship after pinning Carlito. After the match, Bobby Lashley stares down Cena as Night of Champions draws to a close.)
(Edge tears his pectoral muscle, is put on the shelf for a while and is forced to surrender the World Heavyweight Championship.)
(Mark Henry wins a Battle Royal on the July 20th, 2007 episode of SmackDown to win the World Heavyweight Championship!)
The Great American Bash 2007
Location: HP Pavilion San Jose, California
WWE Tag Team Championship:
Deuce ‘n Domino (c) vs Matt Hardy & MVP
(Matt Hardy hates MVP and wants his United States Championship but they get paired as partners and are told to co-exist by Mr. McMahon who also rewards them with a Tag Team Championship match at The Great American Bash. Hardy and MVP win the titles.)
Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Super Crazy
Umaga (c) vs Jeff Hardy
Batista vs The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh
Candice Michelle (c) vs Melina
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
John Morrison (c) vs CM Punk
(CM Punk invokes his rematch clause for the ECW Championship. Vince McMahon tries to deny Punk the opportunity to win the title back but CM Punk tells him if he even dares to deny him his rematch then he’ll sue him because it’s a contractual obligation meaning McMahon has no choice but to let Punk compete for the ECW Championship. The newly named John Morrison who’s leaving Johnny Nitro behind tells Vince to not worry, he’ll take care of business for him which Vince gives him the vote of confidence. Punk says this time he’s ready for Morrison unlike at Night of Champions and will become a 2 time ECW Champion. Morrison says even prepared, he’s just too good for Punk. John Morrison cheats to retain the title after hitting Punk with brass knuckles when the referee isn’t looking.)
World Heavyweight Championship:
Mark Henry (c) vs Kane
(Teddy Long announces that Mark Henry will defend his title against Kane at The Great American Bash because Kane had earned an opportunity to fight for the World Championship when Edge was champion. Kane says that he’s got unfinished business with Henry and revenge will be sweeter when he wins the World Heavyweight Championship. Henry says Kane will once again feel his wrath just like his brother The Undertaker and Batista have.)
John Cena (c) vs Bobby Lashley
(Bobby Lashley wins a Fatal 4-Way match against Booker T, Randy Orton and Mr.Kennedy in order to face John Cena at The Great American Bash. Lashley tells Cena that he respects his dedication and desire but when push comes to shove, he has no hesitation breaking him in half if it means he wins the WWE Championship. Cena says Lashley is an incredible athlete who’s unbelievably gifted but he’s going to show the whole world that Lashley’s time isn’t now the way a lot of people think it is. John Cena retains after delivering an FU from the top rope and both men shake hands after the match. When Cena’s alone in the ring, Randy Orton from out of nowhere delivers an RKO to Cena and holds up the WWE Championship as the show draws to a close.)
(Bobby Lashley gets injured not long after this event and leaves the company in early 2008.)
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Ladder Match for the ECW Championship:
John Morrison (c) vs CM Punk
(CM Punk demands one more match for the ECW Championship against John Morrison which Morrison insists to Vince McMahon to allow his request. Morrison gives Vince an idea for what type of match it’ll be. Vince likes the idea and announces CM Punk will faces John Morrison in… A Ladder Match! John Morrison says he’s the prince of parkour and CM Punk's ambition of being the ECW Champion again will be crushed by him for good. Punk promises to become and 2 time ECW champion while also ensuring Morrison has no teeth after the match. CM Punk wins to become a 2 time ECW Champion.)
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
World’s Greatest Tag Team (c) vs Paul London & Brian Kendrick
Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Rey Mysterio
(Teddy Long tells Chavo Guerrero he’ll defend his Cruiserweight Championship at SummerSlam against… Rey Mysterio! Chavo says he’s been waiting for Rey’s return and at the event he cost him the World Heavyweight Championship the year before, he’s going to make sure he puts Rey back on the shelf again but this time for good. Rey Mysterio wins the title and retires the Cruiserweight Championship on the SmackDown after SummerSlam.)
Umaga (c) vs Jeff Hardy
Candice Michelle (c) vs Melina vs Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix
Triple H vs Booker T w/Sharmell
(Vignettes start to show that Triple H is returning to the WWE after another Quad injury. Booker T being aware of this challenges Triple H to a match at SummerSlam. Booker T’s motives are simple, Triple H once made his life a living hell and he wants to get revenge he never truly got. Booker T promises to put Triple H back on the shelf and embarrass him on his return. Triple H wins in a 10 minute match and Booker T leaves the company after this match.)
World Heavyweight Championship:
Mark Henry (c) vs Batista
(A one on one match that’s a long time in the making. Batista wins a #1 Contender’s Match against Kane and says this is a match he’s wanted for a while because he’s never fully gotten revenge on Mark Henry for putting him out of action which forced him to surrender the World Heavyweight Championship. Henry says he’s also been waiting for full revenge after Batista also cost him a year of his career when he came back and assaulted him. Both men brawl whenever they see each other in the build up. During the match when Henry’s on top… GONG! The lights come back on but Taker doesn’t appear. Henry then receives a Spinebuster from Batista and The Animal pins him to win the World Heavyweight Championship!)
John Cena (c) vs Randy Orton
(First time ever in a one on one capacity. Randy Orton says while Cena has been on top for the last few years, he’s always avoided facing him one on one and tells him the reason he does is because he knows The Legend Killer is better than him! Cena tells Orton to stop talking out of his ass and if he wants to fight him, he’s ready for the challenge and just like the others, Randy Orton will be on his list of guys he beat. Randy Orton cheats when the referee isn’t looking by hitting Cena with a low blow. Orton then delivers an RKO and pins John Cena to win the WWE Championship!)
(Batista beats Mark Henry in a Street Fight on SmackDown to retain the World Heavyweight Championship in Henry’s rematch clause. The Undertaker’s Gong once again provides a distraction to Henry and there’s also a message on the titantron that reads “The dead will rise, September 16th 2007… RIP Mark Henry!”)
And that’s part 45! I hope you guys enjoyed this part. I’d like to add that I hope you don’t mind my passionate opinion on the man who shall not be named from now on. Anyways, enough of me dwelling about that! I’ll be back very soon to cover the rest of 2007 where we’ll see a few stars return, The Age of Orton begin on Raw and John Cena go down with an injury. Stay safe and stay tuned!
submitted by RFC2001
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2023.06.04 17:34 FUMBLING_TITAN VRising Mod ideas for QOL, immersion, PVE, Solo/Multi (For the builders and aesthetic lovers)
Firstly I don't create mods I just use em. But considering the BepInEx needed to be reworked since Gloomrot I'm super excited to see what new mods will be made or how many of the old ones will be updated. I really loved the Modern Camera Mod. I know there is an experimental out but the ceilings are transparent with no toggle (like the old Modern Camera had). Although I never used it I love the idea to be able to remove the hud as well (in the HideUIMod)! These two would make for some great screenshots or video content. If I had a request for a mod it would be able to
1) Free Cam - Press a button/hotkey that allows a free camera mode where you can fly around but keep your character in the same place. It'd make for great videos/screenshots
2) Slow motion/freeze time - again, for video/screenshot purposes
3) Servant stations - A small placeable, the size of a base portal, that you can assign a servant to. This way when that servant is in ur base, they will be assigned to that spot rather than walk around the base. Whilst I like some servants walking around, again for screenshot/video purposes, id love a way to keep the servant in one spot.
4) Servant station emotes - control what animation your servant makes whilst at their station. Salute, stand at attention, dance, wave, blow kisses, etc
I know these are ridiculous ideas but that's the point. What mod idea do you have? What mod would you LOVE to see in V Rising, if there were no boundaries and it could be done?
submitted by FUMBLING_TITAN
to vrising [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 17:12 Tall_Window6346 Sasha Banks live entrance + blows kiss to fan (HOT AF)
2023.06.04 17:02 Tall_Window6346 Sasha Banks live entrance + blows kiss to fan (HOT AF)
2023.06.04 16:34 mildlyHook24 How DARE my dying father live out the rest of his life!??!?!
2023.06.04 15:31 Substantial-Motor111 Female friends
I (24f) bf(26) have been dating for a year, things have been really good between us, I’ve just started a new job I love, and life is alright I’ve also been going to therapy to try to become a healthier partner (I tend to avoid conflict and want to work on my communication skills and self esteem) my boyfriend is extremely social and has a lot of friends, some of which are female. I ended up cutting off all of my male friends because I started to feel like I questioned why they were friends with me and didn’t like the idea they could be waiting for some shot. My boyfriend and I talked about this and he says it makes sense as most men are like that. I had a bit of a problem with that idea because It made me wondered what would make him the exception, but moved along. Later on I met one of his female friends who seemed okay but made a slightly inappropriate joke, but it seemed like it was just a poor attempt at a joke that didn’t land. I didn’t hear it at first until my boyfriend brought it up later and said it would make him uncomfortable if he didn’t bring it up with me, and then a few days later he gave that female friend a ride to help her out. That’s all to quickly give some context leading up to my larger problem that is making me feel horrible. We were talking about past flings a while ago (dumb I know) and I asked if he had any regretful one night stands, he said that he had a few but that he definitely regretted getting drunk with his one close friend that’s a girl and letting her give him a blow job . That was a big shock because he had told me previously that they had only ever kissed before realizing they weren’t more than friends. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything I just felt myself go numb. He said that the incident really negatively affected their relationship for a while before they worked it out and they are still friends and still talk. I feel horrible and am over thinking and spiraling about everything. He’s the one person I’ve had real deep love with and could really see myself with but this incident feels like it blindsided me. I’m not sure if I’m making it a bigger deal than it is so I wanted to see if I could get some perspective. What would you do?
submitted by Substantial-Motor111
to dating_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 15:07 Nsfwreddita My partner (F) wants me (M) to be more aggressive in bed
TLDR: How can I be significantly more forward & add some dominant spice with a girl who seems kind of bored?
I’m sweet & attentive but I can be kinky & rough.
My problem is I’m very timid. I love this girl and want her to feel safe.
The problem is, that seems to be killing our sex life. It’s been on a steady decline for years and now I’m seeking advice.
A long time ago, she was performing oral sex on me and I didn’t cum. I told her afterward that I’ve never cum from oral but she took it as a tremendous blow to her confidence. ‘That’s never happened to me before.’ She said.
So I’ve tried to get her to open up and communicate but she’s very closed off and protected. I tried implementing a code word to let each other know when we want sex (she’s never used it.) And just recently started saying a number 1-10 with the code word like ‘1 is I want sweet, kisses, gentle and tender. 10 is I want kinky rough borderline not okay-safe word needed.’
Yesterday I forced the conversation and had a breakthrough.
She hates foreplay, she says. “And ‘the thought of a 1 is repulsive to me. I don’t want to ‘make love’ Ew. I will probably never be under a 5, in fact.”
Which tells me I need to step up my aggressiveness in bed. She responds well to hair pulling, fingers in mouth, hands around throat, etc.
What other things can I try to spice things up again, now that I know what I know? How do I push my own comfort level?
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to sex [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 14:42 Fun-Cauliflower7183 Waiting and waiting
I'm in a complicated situation as I'm still married and have also fallen for a friend who, with my husband's full knowledge, I've been seeing since late last year. We've always struggled with intimacy as she would get nauseous every time we would get hot and heavy.
(TLDR; My lesbian gf can't have sex with me because her feelings are too strong and I'm unavailable. I tried to be poly with someone who is not poly, and I'm probably not poly either. I thought I needed sex to know for sure if I'm gay. My gf doesn't want to be an experiment. We love each other probably can't be together until I figure myself out.)
Edited to take more responsibility for the situation per comment.
We never had sex, we couldn't get past 2nd base without her feeling sick or actually vomiting. I have known her for 7 years, and I care about her deeply. I'm super attracted to her and horny as hell for her. I was never pressuring her and she said it wasn't a big deal. We were both failing to honestly articulate our needs. She said she was going to work with her therapist to understand and work through this issue. But without ever mentioning any concerns or expressing any of her needs, she ended our relationship.
It broke me like I didn't know was possible. I cried every day for a month. We had some communication. She was distraught too. I felt like I was more of a lesbian than bisexual, and that I wanted to figure myself out before blowing up my family.
So I got on some dating apps, started reconnecting with my queer friends, and I told her that I was feeling like I'm a lesbian and not bi. She was super supportive, has been out for a long time (and without the nausea stopping her with other women).
We met up for coffee and talked. I said I was going to try dating. She didn't like hearing about it. We talked more and sat on a bench, started getting close, and she said that she loved me. We kissed, I didn't know what to do about it. We were back to talking and texting, and had plans to get dinner and talk about us.
Then she cancelled last minute and I was crushed again. I've never cried so much over anyone! I was giving up hope, moving on again, when she asked me to go for a walk and talk. She wants to do a reset, do better with communication, try again. I was surprised, but it was what I wanted. She is my first WLW relationship, and there's an intensity there that continues to pull me in.
So we're taking things slow and trying to do better. I was doing more check ins about her needs. Physically, she wasn't getting nauseous! She thought it was because she didn't want to be a homewrecker, and before this reset, her body would put an end to intimacy. But after hearing that I might be a lesbian, it made it easier to see that she was never a homewrecker -- I'm the only one who can do that. So we were able to be more intimate without any nausea.
But she is still holding back because she says her feelings are so intense (and I'm still married!). So we've had 3 recent opportunities for overnights - which is rare when you have a husband & child. Each time, she has said she's not ready for us to stay overnight together (even with no expectation of sex)- even though we've done it before. Including last night. I left her place in tears.
I would like to have sex with her. More importantly, I want to wake up with her. I want to know what it's like to be intimate with a woman I love. Feels like it's not going to happen.
From her perspective, it's crazy to get involved with someone who is married and has a child. She is protecting herself. But why did she want to try again?
I care about her too much for her to be some experiment.
If you've made it this far, thanks. I'm just so sad. Probably just knowing that I should be on my own before anything happens with her and I hurt her anymore.
submitted by Fun-Cauliflower7183
to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 13:58 explicitmemories I can't stop thinking about where I ended up
I'm just going to use this as a diary pretty much more for myself since I feel like typing it will be eaiser.
I can't help but feel like all the things in my life; coincidences and all the random encounters with the people I met, could have gone better. Like maybe if I didn't meet a friend in one of science class then maybe I wouldn't have met the girl I loved for years or maybe if I took care of myself just a tiny bit better I wouldn't have lost so many friends.
I think about how I spent my days of highschool kind of just meshing and floating around friends and partners trying to find myself and see where I fit in. For years we had the same lockers and I had some the same friends for years. Since my freshman year was hard on me and I had to be hospitalized for depression a few times I didn't see anyone and had no friends. I emt a girl from the other kids I met Sophomore year I was there as much as possible and met friends I was a skater kid then a social smoker then I became a heavy smoker and then just stopped in senior year. I had met amazing people, people I'll always love and know they loved me but now we don't talk because it's been years and we drifted apart or we just grew up. I met and dated the girl I loved for years afterwards because she became my friend after walking past her every single day of school never speaking barely noticing one another and yet by pure coincidence I befriended her friend and their friends and her.
The things that make me feel existential are small memories of nothing moments in my life. There was the time we were just driving around on a Friday night without nothing to do besides talking and listening to music, but when we stopped in the middle of a random neighborhood and sat there listening to sad songs as we looked at the stars and talked about how we felt it makes it way into my head every time I see the stars. I think how the shitty toxic relationship pushed me closer to friend group and how my shitty abusive home life pushed me further and further out the door to run around drinks and smoke to find some way to escape where I was at.
I think about how after that relationship ended I fell in love with my best friend because she was always there for me and we had no romantic feelings for one another until one day we were in my room rough housing cause one of us took a phone or book out of the others hand, I tried to kiss her and missed her lips just barely getting the corner of her mouth. She told me to try again cause that wasn't a real kiss after she laughed at me apologizing about how I shouldn't have kissed her. If she hadn't done that would we have dated for years? Would I have been to Christmas as her families house? Would her younger cousin give me a french braid in front of the fire place? If my last relationship wasn't toxic would I have went through her phone and seen other guys tell her they loved her. If that didn't happen would she cheat on me or would I have such severe trust issues? If I took care of my mental health would we still be together, if I took care of myself would I have ended it because I wanted to end it myself more than I cared for her? Why were our birthdays a week apart? What caused her to date one of our friends for a month after we finally ended it once and for all? How long did it take for them to date? When we kissed the first time why did it take so long for us to finally get together if we cuddled and kissed and held hands everyday? What if we did end up moving in together what then??
Why is it so hard for me to forget about all these small moments with her? Why did all of our friends leave me too? Why did she show up to my best friends wedding? What would have happened didn't I go with someone else? Why did she seem so happy to see me? Did she miss me too? Why did I blow her off? Do I miss the small moments or do I miss her? What was the point of seeing her everyday for six years if it was going to be like this? If I hadn't met that kid in science class would it be different? If I learned how to communicate earlier instead of years after would it have worked out? What if I was honest and said I needed help instead of hurting everyone around me? I don't know what could have happened but where I'm at now I want to am I doing the best I can with what I got or is there another version of me doing better with where I'm at?
I'm not sad or anything I saw some show that made me think of what could have happened. I just feel as if this isn't the best outcome I want to hope that it's at least it's one of the most positive ones I could have hoped for. I know it sounds like I'm romanticizing the past and maybe I am a bit but I know that right now I'm happier than I was when everything ended. It just bothers me that I met so many people and ended up alone. Then again I know it was wronf for me to be upset after I gave up on everyone else first. Maybe what I'm really upset about is that it ended so horribly because they didn't see how bad I was doing and my cries of help went unheard.
Tldr; What if it was just a little bit different would my life be better off or would I have been fucked anyways?
submitted by explicitmemories
to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 12:12 Thick_Mick_Chick Windows to the Soul: Allie's Assimilation
Note: This is part 2 to Shiloh's Final Battle
Gomez and Tish pulled into their driveway and heard barking. They'd gotten a German Shepherd pup when Guillermo Del Toro's "The Strain" was on T.V. As a joke, but also because they loved the character? They named him Thomas Eichhorst after the Nazi vampire who was one of Guillermo Del Toro's most powerful villains ever created. No one put much thought into the name choice considering they loved all things horror. "What the hell has Eichhorst going off? He knows it's us!" Gomez couldn't understand why he'd bark at the 2 people he NEVER barks at. "I can honestly say I'm not even surprised after this day." Tish exhaled and proceeded to get out of the car. Eichhorst continued the call of his people. "IKE! EICHHORST! KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!" Gomez yelled so Eichhorst could hear because he was behind the chain link fence in the backyard. He acted like he didn't hear a word. As they got closer to the house? They noticed Eichhorst was not barking at them. He was barking at the woods BEHIND them. "He sees something we don't." Tish matter-of-factly stated. She & Gomez simultaneously turned to look into the woods. Nothing. No noise. Nothing was there. Eichhorst stopped barking as soon as they turned towards the woods. Everything stopped. "What the hell is going on, Cara Mia?" Gomez was starting to experience what Tish had all day long. "I don't know, Mon Cher. I just know I don't like it." Tish continued glancing into the trees. "Probably time to sit back and relax. You've had a bad day that ended a rough week. It's time to just chill." As if knowing what Gomez had just said? His city issued phone started ringing. "NO. ABSOLUTELY not! I'm off tonight! What is so critical that Gomer & Goober can't handle it?" Gomez could feel his blood pressure start to rise. "Find out what it is 1st, Craig, before you go into a meltdown." Tish always called him Craig when she was irritated. "Hello?!" Gomez did a poor job hiding his inconvenience. "Man, it's Ol Shiloh! You gotta get over here, Gomez. It's bad! It's so bad!" Bubba was inconsolable. He was on the verge of tears. "Whoa, slow down, Bubba. What happened?" Gomez tried bringing levity. "We came by to check on him when we were on patrol. He was in the doorway, he was..." Bubba finally started crying. He hated it. The last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of his co-workers. He just simply could not process what the hell they'd rolled up on. "Wait? Ol Shiloh is hurt?" Gomez was trying to process what Bubba was saying. Tish's brow furrowed. She didn't like what she was hearing. "I mean, if you consider hurt dead with his fuckin' throat ripped out to his spinal cord? Then? Yeah, he's hurt." Bubba's anger at his own insecurities was boiling over onto Gomez. "Look, Bubba. Clearly you guys have been going through something over there. I'm headed that way. For future reference? Don't take your shit out on me. I didn't do anything to you." Gomez scolded. "Sorry, Gomez. It's just so..." and Bubba broke down further. Gomez hopped back into the car. "What's going on? Who was that? Don? Bubba?" Tish was concerned. "Hop in the passenger's side if you want to find out. I have to go." Gomez started the engine. Tish walked around and got in.
They pulled into Shiloh's driveway behind the Eerie, Indiana patrol car. Bubba came running out to greet them. "Don is in there with him. The paramedics just got here a few minutes ago." Bubba proceeded to catch Gomez up. He and Tish had been so busy looking at Bubba and the patrol car they didn't notice the bus parked to the side of the house ready to pick up Ol Shiloh.
Tish & Gomez entered the threshold where Ol Shiloh laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. His throat. Jesus, his throat. It was gone. They both were rocking back on their heels.
"We thought it was a big cat attack. It's not. Those bite marks on his throat? That's human not feline." Kennedy was an intelligent little bastard. Arrogant, condescending and holier-than-thou, but very intelligent. Not only would he inform all of the insubordinates around him about everything they didn't know? He'd do it with one hell of a cocky attitude. Ah, Kennedy, and his unsolicited lessons. Time to sit up and listen in class. ..
"When he opened the door? We thought it was an animal attack. Instead? He must've been attacked by humans. The bite marks definitely indicate human but the vicious nature of how deep the wounds went indicate something much more powerful. This was to his spinal cord." Kennedy didn't look like he knew-it-all. He looked perplexed.
"But how could a human bite that deep?" Gomez asked.
"I don't know. I honestly don't know." Kennedy was lost for the 1st time since becoming a paramedic 7 years ago. He'd never seen trauma of this caliber. He hadn't even seen this level of brutality and he'd rolled up on gang fights.
Don and Bubba were both on the front porch, looking in, mouths agape. Gomer & Goober indeed.
Kennedy loaded up Ol Shiloh's body with the assistance of a new EMT that Gomez was fairly certain Kennedy was banging. I mean, he was a total Chad so why wouldn't he?
Don put the camera away in the trunk of the patrol car. At least he had the presence of mind to get the pictures taken before emergency services hit the scene. This was going to rock Eerie, Indiana's foundation. Murder hadn't happened here in anyone's lifetime so this was a "big city" problem they weren't use to dealing with. Nosey people, scared kids, idiot media, this was not what Eerie needed right now. It certainly wasn't what he needed. He had enough of Allie putting out for anyone that would buy her a 6 pack or some cigarettes. Had he known he could've gotten off so cheaply? He sure as hell wouldn't have married her. Unfortunately, for his dumb ass? He actually fell in love with her. Why? He didn't know. Self esteem was never his strong suit. So? After dating 6 months, her only cheating 3 times, then getting pregnant with his baby? He made the perilous decision to try to make an honest woman out of her. Don sincerely doubted if Allie had ever been honest about anything in her life. Coincidentally? When they came back from their Honeymoon 2 weeks later? She'd miscarried. Well, she claimed she miscarried. Don never saw a pregnancy test nor would he have been 💯% sure the baby was his. He would've actually suspected the baby was not. Looking at all of it now, how did he not see it sooner?
"Get to those pics, ASAP Rocky, Don!" Gomez instructed. "Please, don't be an embarrassing Gen Xer who thinks he's so cool and up to date on all of the current lingo. They laugh at us only a little less than Boomers." Tish was still trying to get a handle on all of this and his Goofy antics weren't really in need right now.
The woods to the side of Ol Shiloh's place was the same as the woods to the back of Gomez & Tish's driveway. Eichhorst couldn't understand why his humans didn't acknowledge his bark. He never barked. He especially never barked at his humans. Why did they think he had? Didn't they see the kids in the woods? The little boy? The little girl? How could they not? As far away as the kids were? They smelled funny. He didn't understand. It was the same smell in the air that he sensed right before thunderstorms began and he hid under Gomez and Tish's bed. Humans don't smell like that. It's impossible to explain ozone to a German Shepherd.
The children watched as Ol Shiloh was loaded onto the ambulance and taken away. The couple were getting into their car and the deputies were already headed down the driveway.
"It has began." The dark-haired pale little girl spoke. "Indeed. It has. Let's see what Venerate has in store for the humans now." The boy replied and they headed towards town.
Eerie, Indiana was like any other Midwest, small town. You had your good ol boys & jerks. You had freaks and geeks. You had Bible thumpers and always humpers. Allie Hoff was the "always humpers" category. No one nor nothing could change that. The girl went through life bartering sex and blow jobs for anything she needed. It was a pitiful existence and she knew it. Unfortunately? She never learned and didn't know another way. With Eerie being so small? She was limited to the same "favor givers" over and over, again. Never any new blood. Never any fresh meat. It really stifled what few prospects she had. She looked up from where she was slumped over the bar, in her barstool, nursing a bottle of beer. She happened to look up to the front door. Who was that? She'd never seen him in here before. He was about 6'3" with dark wavy hair and ocean blue eyes. His skin was sun kissed and the muscles showcased the entire package. Wait. WTF? This dude doesn't belong here. Who the hell is he?
He appeared to glide and almost float towards her. He gestured to the empty bar stool next to her. "Is this seat taken?" He smiled with almost glowing white teeth. She locked up. Wait? He wants to sit next to me?
She just shook her head no because she was too shocked to speak. "Hi, I'm Vinny." He extended his hand and his gleaming smile never faltered. "Allie." She finally squeaked out. Guys like this didn't talk to girls like her. "Nice to meet you, Allie." Vinny swung around and attempted to get the bartender's attention. "I'll have a Jack & Coke. For the lady?" Vinny slyly smiled at Allie and she was entranced. "Same" was all Allie could say. He paid for their drinks and handed Allie hers. "I've never seen you before." Allie just finally came out with it. "No, I'm new to the area. You wouldn't have seen me around here." Vinny replied. "Oh? New from where?" Allie was trying to proceed with caution. She did not want to miss out on the opportunity that was this gorgeous specimen of a man. "You've never heard of it, trust me. No one ever has." Vinny still held his smile. "I'd still like to know." Allie returned a smile that was nowhere near as beautiful as Vinny's. "Maybe when we get to know each other better." Vinny conceded. "Oh? So we're going to be getting to know each other better, are we?" Allie coyly pressed. "If I have any say in it? Most definitely." Vinny winked. Damn. That boy was so fine she'd drink his bathwater if he peed in it. He was the perfect vision of the perfect man. It was as if he were tailor made just for Allie. How, though? How could she actually meet her real life Manic Pixie Dream boy? The one she'd dreamed about when she was a little girl. The one who laughed at everything she said. Listened attentively. The one who only had eyes for her no matter how many "rich bitch" girls were around. She'd treat him like a postage stamp. She'd lick every square inch of him and go back for 2nds on the important parts. "Allie, you strike me as a very straightforward girl." Vinny snapped her out of her daze. "I am. No bullshit." Allie replied. "Then? Allow me to be straightforward by telling you that I want to fuck you senseless." Vinny casually stated as if someone asked him for the time. "Well, that is certainly straightforward." Allie was stunned. She wasn't so stunned that she'd let an opportunity like this pass her by. She'd made up her mind that was going to happen as soon as she saw him. "And your answer?" Vinny inquired. "Anywhere. Any place. Any time Any day." Allie assured. With that? They stood from their barstools and headed outside. He even smelled good but not a typical smell. It was like the air at the beginning of a thunderstorm. He smelled like ozone. Ozone??? Was that even possible?
Gomez and Tish got home and plopped on the couch. Eichhorst came through the doggy door and trotted straight to Tish. "I've got leftovers, Piggy. Give me a sec." Tish opened her container from the restaurant. Eichhorst sat patiently waiting for his command.
"What a fuckin' day." Gomez exhaled exhaustedly. "Yeah. It has been. Poor Ol Shiloh. This is just too much." Tish's head continued to try to find rationality where there was one. "I'm getting in the shower and going to bed. You need anything?" Gomez slowly rose up from the couch, joints popping like a glow stick. "No. I'm probably gonna watch a movie and go to bed after." Tish answered. "Horror?" Gomez queried. "What else?" Tish smiled albeit a tired one. Eichhorst jumped up next to her on the couch and laid on her like a lap dog.
Vinny was walking Allie into their local little flop hotel room. It wasn't like she wasn't familiar with the place. The staff referred to her as "Frequent flier". She didn't particularly like the insensitive moniker but couldn't deny its accuracy, either. He closed the door behind them in one failed swoop. This was a practiced talent she noticed. Didn't matter. He was hers tonight.
"Make yourself comfortable." Vinny gestured to the only bed in the room. Allie took a seat. She looked up at him and noticed the ozone smell becoming stronger. Weird. He smelled good but she had never known someone to smell like a thunderstorm.
"I'm going to step into the bathroom for just a minute. I'll be right out." Vinny stepped into their adjacent bathroom. She heard loud music and laughter from somewhere down the hall but couldn't quite place where. It was for the best. Allie had always been, well, vocal. Normally? If a guy is hitting it right? She hit the vocal range of 2 stray cats screwing. She couldn't help it. She was like this every since puberty. It was all the girl thought about. She figured she was probably a nympho although she was never officially diagnosed. She couldn't hear what he was doing. It didn't matter. It wasn't going to affect her and what she was doing. She walked to the curtains and made sure they were completely closed. Although they were, why did she feel like she was being watched? She stripped down with the efficiency of a HazMat worker decontaminating. She heard the bathroom door opening. She kept her back turned so she could make the surprise last as long as possible. Was this the night? The night she could finally reach sexual satisfaction? Was this the dick that was going to change her life? There was a soft green glow coming from the bathroom. Must be a nightlight? She hadn't noticed before. Was it getting brighter? It looked like it was coming towards her. Was it Vinny? Maybe he's videoing me? Not like I'd care, but he could have asked. "Are you recording me?" She asked as she continued to look towards the window. His breathing was different. It seemed labored and, well, wet. It didn't sound like he did earlier, that was for sure. "You okay?" Allie asked. His breathing was raspier, louder, wetter. She decided to bail on her romantic idea of not turning around before he reached her. She turned around and her playful nature and smile fell away immediately.
Her brain couldn't process what her eyes were seeing. It couldn't be real. God knows along with banging any guy she could get her hands on, she used to hit hard drugs back in the day. This had to be a flashback. It had to be a "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" scenario. This? This "Mars Attacks!" bullshit right here? This is not reality.
It's bulbous head was transparent. It looked like a barrel eye fish that she saw on a nature show she used to blaze and chill to. That also explained the soft green glow. It sounded like and looked aquatic. That's where the wet sounds were coming from. It kept advancing. It had a white upper torso with arms and webbed fingers on each hand. What sent her over the edge? From the waist down? It was a human male. All the important parts and in working condition. How? She had no idea. But? When she meant working condition? It was working it's way right towards her. Wait, this thing is going to still have sex with me?! No. Absolutely not. "No. Stop." Allie feebly tried to resist. It did no good. Allie didn't know she was the reason he was even here. This was the whole gameplan all along. It was never a casual hook up.
Venerate had studied numerous different civilizations but Terrestrials always fascinated him. They were so primitive but also entertaining. The Alliance had tried many different hybrid trials between themselves and Terrestrials. They never made it out of infancy. There was a weakness that need strengthened in their own DNA to combine with humans. They worked on it until their resolution was Venerate himself. He has the best of what their kind has to offer with the malleable adaptivity to change himself into anything he needs to to be able to convince Terrestrials to trust him. It worked. Ol Shiloh thought Venerate was his deceased wife. Allie thought he was her dream man. He needs a human to impregnate. Beggars can't be choosers. It worked out perfectly. Allie took one look at his bulbous transparent head, his lower nontransparent stiff head and proceeded to pass out on the bed. It didn't matter. Venerate didn't need her awake to begin their hybrid breeding program. And? Begin the program he did. Everything was coming to fruition via the Alliance's vision. All of their hard work finally got them here. The pale, dark-haired children stood outside the hotel room window, peaking through the crack in the curtain. They were able to relay the mission a success with Venerate making first, second and third contact. Once the younglings come forth? The Alliance can begin occupation and what a glorious day that will truly be! Everything was going so perfectly. This just had to be fool proof. They walked off into the night, smiling so much those obsidian eyes even looked less demonic. This was the beginning of prosperity. This was the beginning of the end of humanity.
The Windows to the Soul: Allie's Assimilation
submitted by Thick_Mick_Chick
to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 10:35 Intelligent-Bed8756 No one on chat wants to talk to me. Lol. Must me a Viking thing. 🥲
2023.06.04 08:14 SpaceRoosterVII 29 [M4F] #Seattle - Established & Respectful Gentleman ISO Discreet Spark & Exciting Connection.
Hey there! Trying out my luck on here and see if I find what I'm looking for, and possibly what you're looking for?
I'm a direct and intentional person, so I think posting here on reddit will filter out those who are not looking for the same thing as I am.
Currently in a dead bedroom situation, pretty much for over a year now. So looking for someone who also is looking to have their physical needs fulfilled, and is probably looking for that spark/excitement again? Good connection= good sex, am I right?
- I'm hoping to find a AP that I can connect with, where we can joke around, talk about life in a way where we're like great friends, and I'm gonna be upfront... mainly great sex!
- I don't mind if you're married or not, as long as you understand that my first, and main priority is my relationship. I hope you're in the same page and could understand that.
- Looking for consistency as well. What I mean by that is probably seeing each other 2x a month, or more depends on our schedule. We can feel it out.
- Although this is mainly sexual (on my end, & I'm open to your needs as well) I would like it if we can connect as well. Talk a bit about life, our jobs, banter, and joke around. I think that's what makes sex awesome!
with that in mind, here's a little something about me:
-29M, 5'8", Athletic/Average Build 160 lbs, clean and DDF. Easy on the eyes, great hygiene, I have tattoos (tasteful). Dark hair and deep dark brown eyes, mixed. I have a bachelor's degree and a full time job (if that matters at all). Respectful of your space and time, not the creepy/stalker type.
-I'm into anything creative & artsy, mainly movies and graphic design. In terms of music, I like alternative/punk rock, indie, and folk.
-Pretty laid back and chill, also naturally am a goof ball, so I like to joke around, tease, and also somewhat do have a dark humor! I'm an explorer, so I like to hike and do some cool activities, but also can be just laid back, watch movies and have a drink. In short, I'm a very spontaneous type of guy.
- In terms of sex, I do have a high sex drive (hence, this post lol). I don't have any specific kinks, although the women I've connected with mentioned that I'm a gentle dom. So I like to be dominant, with passion and gentleness with it. So... to put it into perspective, here's:
/WHAT TO EXPECT FROM ME/
- I'd say that I like to build it up. Start with passionate kissing, down to your neck and trailing it all the way down around your belly, hips, before I eat you out (I love foreplay and eating you out). I would eat you out while looking at you, I like seeing reactions and how you respond with how I do it, what turns me on more is seeing you pleased and that I'm doing a good job (I'm an achiever LOL, my enneagram is a Type 1, so I can be a perfectionist with the things I do).
- and when you're blowing me, I prefer to hold your hair for you, so I can pull on it and have you angle your face towards me while you're sucking me off, I like to make eye contact while I gently push your head down to deep throat me, and touch your face with my other hand, I like running my hands down on your skin. I'm into kissing in between as well, I don't mind if you've been sucking me, I'll make out with you in between. (I prefer to have sex after taking a shower anyways, so we both are for sure clean)
- I'm good with any position and down to try what you're into, my favorites are definitely:
*Missionary- mainly because I like making out, neck kissing, chest nibbling/kissing, and most esp. seeing you reactions with some mild choking.
*Doggy Style- mainly because I would pull on your hair, and grab on to your neck. It's such a turn on to see your body arch a bit more towards me while I'm thusting to get in you harder.
*Cow Girl- It turns me on even more when a woman tries to be a dom sometimes, in a way that they try to resist me dominating them so they can be dominant (if that makes sense?) Such a turn on whenever I were to see your body motioning to get the feel of me in you that would feel good for you. Also so I can grab on your hips, pull you, slap and squeeze your cheeks, and nibble on your chest.
NOTE: I also am quite vocal, so I would definitely moan and cuss at times. If I'm feeling it, talk dirty depending on the mood. Hope you're okay with that.
- Now, this is the part where I hope I'm not asking for too much, and I'm being realistic with this search. But hey, it has to be mutual right?
*FEMALE / WOMAN who is respectful, friendly, chill, and fun to talk to. It would be better if you have your life together so we can talk about how adulting life is LOL. I don't mind if you're a student, as long as you're pursuing something good in life to be stable 👍
*AGE: 25-33 Years Old, HWP
*Clean, Good Hygiene, DDF
*Must be willing to exchange photos at first. I'm not gonna lie, attraction is vital in order to build chemistry sexually right? I am in no way super attractive, I would say I'm about average, although my lady friends and women that I've connected with say I'm charming/charismatic, so I guess that kinda adds up LOL (I'm compensating so hard huh, LOL). --- So I'm being realistic here as well. So it's a must that we're both attracted to each other first.
So if this post is good enough for you or if you would like to get to know each other better, shoot me a DM! Would love to hear from you :)
NOT INTERESTED IN HOOKERS, ESCORTS, OR ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES PAYMENT! Let's not waste each other's time please!
submitted by SpaceRoosterVII
to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 05:43 Ok_Albatross7151 Waves and kisses
What’s the deal with people waving and blowing kisses to the audience (chat) while in boxes while others are talking? How about when someone in a box is talking and another person flat out talks to the chat. Is there a thing for box etiquette? Do you think you are famous? F outta here with that…
submitted by Ok_Albatross7151
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2023.06.04 03:57 BeatyWithatSierra I Regret Being a “Fuckboy”
I (18m) have been friends with girl number 1, let’s call her Sarah, Sarah (15f) and I have been friends with her since November when I was 17, I would text her and eventually I took her to our local Christmas parade and I had a fun time with her, some time passes by and I don’t text her and I assume she wants nothing to do with me, after Christmas break I swiped up on her story and we text back and forth for while and we make plans and I come over and meet her and parents, I’m having fun with her for weeks on end, we were fwb’s and I took her out on dates, our dates end with us having sex or she would blow me, I genuinely like her but I was going to wait til she turned 16 so I could see what I can do, By this time I’ve met this girl, let’s call her Kaylee, Kaylee (18f) is someone I met during the last 2 weeks of school, I met her through my ex and we’ve been knowing each other for a long but it wasn’t til I become friends with her that I realized she was a queen, royalty really, When school ended, Sarah had to be out of town for a whole week due to her visiting her younger brother, I start hanging out with Kaylee over that week and by the time School ended I wanted to know her better, she turned me on like no other, we hung out a several days ago and we ended up kissing and I said things to her that made her fall hard for me, she knew about my fwb, one night Kaylee she’s would be a little sad about my fwb but since I’m not with her she wouldn’t say anything, she kept cuddling and kissing me, I realized my mistake and I cried, I remember wrapping my arms around her and she held me in, she said she doesn’t want to be an option and I respect her for that,I know I had to make a decision, I tried hard to enjoy the moment, she cried too and said if it had to be a choice, choose her, Kaylee has gone through a breakup not too long ago and she said that she its “just 1 more to my count, it would hurt but oh well”, I chose Kaylee and broke the news to Sarah, Sarah became blunt and in short I went to pick my hoodie up, I was crying my eyes out, When I pulled up to her house I tried wiping them away, her and her stepmom came out, she handed me my hoodie and her stepmom said “ give him his sweater, Leave and never come back”, I call Kaylee and Tell her what I did, I delete videos as well as photos of Sarah, Kaylee says I should’ve picked Sarah instead, I cried as i told Kaylee my feelings and emotions, I go home and Kaylee loves me a lot though she says likes me, Kaylee doesn’t believe anything I say, honestly I don’t blame her, she says I might manipulate and leave her, Idk if I like Kaylee, she’s texts me non stop and she says the most romantic things and she is obsessed with me but she thinks I’m going to dump her a week or two later, I don’t want to believe her and I she says I’m the first to treat her really good, She’s texting me as I’m typing this and it touches my heart that she does, she’s gonna leave for 4 days and idk what to do or think of during that time
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2023.06.04 03:21 TheBookhuntress Book Club Discussion - I'll give you the sun by Jandy Nelson
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I don't know where to start. Maybe by just telling you that I love, LOVE this book. I brought deep dive synopsis if you want to get the general idea of what this is about but you don't have time to read the book.
May's book pick BOOK: I’ll give you the sun by Jandy Nelson PITCH: https://www.reddit.com/GMMTV/comments/13b5l2h/book_club_may_book_pick/ TW:
Sexual assault, character death, mentions of drug abuse, under-age drinking. Characters: Noah Sweetwine:
introvert, is close to his mother, his passion is painting. Twin brother to Jude. Jude Sweetwine:
extrovert, is close to his father, clashes with her mother, is more inclined to sculpting than any other art form. Twin sister to Noah. Brian Connelly:
one year older than Noah, has a scholarship playing baseball, likes to collect meteorites, only comes to the Cove during school breaks. Oscar:
British, photographer and model, has scars on his face, tattoos and heterochromia. Three or four years older than the twins. Dianna Sweetwine:
Jude and Noah’s mom, she writes for an art magazine. Free spirited. Benjamin Sweetwine:
Jude and Noah’s dad, he’s a doctor. Grandma Sweetwine:
Benjamin’s mother. She’s dead. Guillermo García:
sculptor, was once interviewed by Dianna for her magazine. He’s considered a Rockstar among his peers. Zephyr:
bullies Noah in highschool, likes Jude. Fry:
friend of Zephyr’s, also bullies Noah. Heather:
friend of Noah, has a crush on him Sandy:
Jude’s teacher at CSA (California School of the Arts) The Cove:
where Noah and Jude live. CSA:
California School of the Arts, prestigious art school. Noah dreams to attend here.
Plot summary from Super summary: https://www.supersummary.com/ill-give-you-the-sun/summary/ The story opens as Noah is being chased by two older neighborhood boys who regularly bully him. He manages to escape and make his way home. At dinner, Dianna, his mother, announces that she has a message from his dead grandmother, Grandma Sweetwine. She thinks that Noah and his twin sister Jude should apply to California School of the Arts. Noah is thrilled, though Jude and Benjamin, their father, are not. Dianna and Benjamin argue as the twins discuss Grandma’s message in the adjoining room. Noah tries to cheer her up, suggesting that Grandma thought of CSA because of the beautiful sand sculptures of flying women that Jude has been making down at the beach. In preparation for the CSA application, Dianna begins to take the twins to art museums. She announces a drawing contest between the two, but is so awed by Noah’s work, she calls off the contest even before looking at Jude’s art. Jealous of Noah’s talent and the attention it draws from their mother, Jude’s relationship with Noah begins to sour. She stops going to museums and begins to hang out at the beach instead. Noah believes that if Dianna ever saw Jude’s sand sculptures, everything would change; although he has taken pictures of Jude’s sculptures, he does not show them to anyone. Over the summer, Noah begins to visit the CSA campus to watch a live drawing class conducted there. During one of the sessions, the model, Oscar, catches Noah practicing sketches outside the window of the class. Oscar is dismissed later that session for being under the influence and he stops modeling at CSA. When Jude sees Noah’s drawing of Oscar, she is so taken by it, that she trades Noah the sun, stars, trees, and the ocean in exchange for it, as part of a game they have played since childhood in which they divvy up the universe. Noah also meets and befriends Brian, a new boy who has moved in next door. Brian is the star pitcher on his boarding school team and is also deeply interested in science and astronomy. Noah is immediately attracted to him, and the boys begin taking rock collecting walks together. Brian becomes popular with the neighborhood girls, and for the first time in Noah’s life, he is cool by association. Noah blows off Jude when she attempts to reconcile with him and starts spending all his time with Brian and others. Jude is furious at Noah for stealing her friends, and at a party, she manipulates a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven so that she and Brian go into the closet together. A distraught Noah leaves the party and tears up every single sketch he has made of Brian, as well as the one of Oscar which he gave to Jude, before deleting every picture he has taken of Jude’s sand sculptures. One afternoon, Noah makes his way over to Guillermo Garcia’s studio, a famous sculptor whom Oscar once told Noah about. He watches Guillermo and his work from afar, and on his way back, runs into Dianna parked surprisingly close to the studio. Over the next couple of months, Dianna begins to act strangely, always absent-minded and lost in thought. She even forgets Benjamin’s birthday. Dianna and Benjamin eventually tell the twins that Benjamin is moving out for a while. The twins watch Benjamin leave and confide their fears and worries in each other; Jude also assures Noah that nothing happened between her and Brian, and they reconcile. Brian comes back to visit over Christmas break, and Noah goes for a walk with him where they finally kiss. Brian wants to keep their relationship a secret, as he worries it will end his baseball career. He has been harassed for his sexual orientation in the past. However, Dianna walks in on the boys masturbating together one day, and a terrified Brian immediately ends things with Noah. Not wanting Dianna to tell anyone else, Noah follows her out of the house believing that she is going to meet Benjamin. Instead, he sees Dianna meeting and kissing Guillermo. Distraught and heartbroken, when Noah runs into Brian with one of the girls on the way home, he reveals Brian’s secret to her. Back home, Dianna tells Noah that she is going to marry Guillermo; as she leaves, Noah yells at her that he hates her. Dianna’s car veers off a cliff, and she dies in the resulting crash, and a guilt-ridden Noah lies to Benjamin and Jude that Dianna was on her way to reconcile with Benjamin. Noah also visits Guillermo and repeats the same lie, blaming Guillermo for Dianna’s death. Two weeks after Dianna’s death, Noah jumps off Devil’s Drop, a high cliff overlooking the beach and almost drowns. Jude pulls him out and revives him. Upset and furious with her brother for almost abandoning her, Jude does not mail Noah’s CSA application along with hers. Two years later, Jude is a student at CSA; when Noah didn’t get an acceptance, he destroyed all his work and stopped making art completely. Jude was pressured into losing her virginity to an older boy the night Dianna died and believes that this invited bad luck and led to Dianna’s death. Following this, Jude cuts off all her hair and exclusively dresses in drab clothing, in a self-inflicted “boy boycott.” She also obsessively follows the dictates of Grandma Sweetwine’s “Bible,” a handwritten collections of beliefs and superstitions about luck. Jude is regularly visited by Grandma Sweetwine’s ghost; while Dianna does not appear to her, Jude believes that Dianna is responsible for the fact that all of Jude’s clay work at CSA ends up mysteriously shattered. Jude’s mentor, Sandy, tells her that she was accepted at CSA because of the pictures of the sand sculptures that came in with her application. Jude is confused, as she had not sent in any pictures and didn’t even know any existed. Now, however, she is in danger of losing her spot at CSA, because of all the breakage in the kiln. Jude decides to work in stone so that Dianna cannot shatter her art; she plans on creating a sculpture that will impress Dianna and force her to forgive Jude. Sandy directs her to Guillermo but warns her that Guillermo has not mentored or taught in over two years after something tragic happened to him. On her way to meet and convince Guillermo, Jude stops by a church where she runs into Oscar. He seems strangely familiar, but she can’t quite place him. Oscar flirts with Jude and takes pictures of her before leaving. At Guillermo’s studio, Jude encounters a haggard and drunk Guillermo who asks her to go away; upon repeated knocking, Jude is surprised to see Oscar open the door, but he, too, turns her away. On her way home Jude receives a message from one of Noah’s friends that he plans to cliff-dive off Devil’s Drop. Jude hides and waits for him, planning to save him if necessary, but as has been happening recently, when Noah jumps, he miraculously slows down before hitting the water. Noah and Benjamin find Jude looking up Guillermo and his work on the internet, and both seem shaken. Jude later finds that all her bookmarks about Guillermo have been deleted from her laptop. Jude goes to Guillermo’s studio again, watching him work through a window. Guillermo catches her watching him and apprehends her while she tries to run away. He invites Jude in, and seeing her desperation to work in stone, agrees to mentor her. Jude begins to work with Guillermo; before the sculpture of Dianna, however, she realizes that she wants to make one of her and Noah instead. During her time with Guillermo, Jude also grows closer to Oscar. She learns that Guillermo saved Oscar’s life, taking him in and helping him get clean some years ago. Oscar confesses his attraction to Jude; however, the intensity of his own feelings scares him, and he begins to retreat from Jude, going on to kiss another girl. Jude decides to try and make things right with Noah. She Googles Brian and finds that he is now mildly famous for being a high-performing, openly-gay baseball player. Jude emails Brian a link to a message Noah consistently posts on a website called Lost Connections, asking Brian to forgive him and meet him again. Jude also emails her mentor at CSA asking for a meeting with her and Noah; she decides to give up her spot for Noah. Before she can confess the truth to Noah, however, she finds out that he is on the verge of jumping off the highest, most dangerous cliff on the beach. Jude arrives in time and manages to save Noah along with Oscar’s help. A drunk Noah explains whenever he jumps, Dianna always saves him at the end, slowing his fall. Oscar helps Jude get Noah home; he visits her in her room later that night, apologizing for his earlier behavior before kissing her. Jude finally recognizes him as the face in Noah’s painting. However, Oscar catches a glimpse of a family picture on Jude’s dresser, and leaves abruptly when he realizes that Jude is Dianna’s daughter. When Jude shows Guillermo the sketches of Dianna she has made for the sculpture, he comes to the same realization and tells her he cannot mentor her anymore. Noah and Oscar arrive at the studio as well, and the truth about Dianna is revealed. An overwhelmed Jude leaves along with Noah. Noah apologizes to Jude for having lied to her and Benjamin, and the two grieve Dianna together. Jude also confesses to what she did about Noah’s CSA application, and Noah is elated that he was not actually rejected. Noah shows Jude a wall he has been secretly painting at an abandoned construction site; he does not care about art school anymore, having recently rediscovered the magic in art for its own sake. Noah and Jude tell Benjamin the truths about Dianna and CSA, and he forgives them both graciously. They also discover that Guillermo is the one who sent the pictures of Jude’s sand sculptures to CSA. Jude believes that they are all destined to be in each other’s lives and wants to continue working with Guillermo. Noah reaches out to Brian directly, and the two reconcile. The book ends with Benjamin realizing and accepting Noah’s sexuality when he sees the boys holding hands together.
You can also check LitCharts: https://www.litcharts.com/lit/i-ll-give-you-the-sun/summary
Quotes: About the invisible museum (the invisible museum is how Noah envisions the paintings he wants to bring to life, some do and some don’t, but it describes his thought process which I find super cool):
- One of his arms is choked around my neck, the other braced across my torso like a seat belt. He’s bare-chested, straight off the beach, and the heat of him is seeping through my T-shirt. His coconut suntan lotion’s filling my nose, my whole head—the strong smell of the ocean too, like he’s carrying it on his back . . . Zephyr dragging the tide along like a blanket behind him . . . That would be good, that would be it (PORTRAIT: The Boy Who Walked Off with the Sea)—but not now, Noah, so not the time to mind-paint this cretin. I snap back, taste the salt on my lips, remind myself I’m about to die—
- Because I can see people’s souls sometimes when I draw them, I know the following: Mom has a massive sunflower for a soul so big there’s hardly any room in her for organs. Jude and me have one soul between us that we have to share: a tree with its leaves on fire. And Dad has a plate of maggots for his.
- His soul might be a sun. I’ve never met anyone who had the sun for a soul.
- “I paint in my head,” I tell him. “I was the whole time.” I’ve never told anyone I do this, not even Jude, and I have no idea why I’m telling him. I’ve never let anyone into the invisible museum before. “What were you painting?”“You.”
- In my mind, I can draw Brian with lightning.
- I watch him as he razors through the crowd, nodding his head to guys, returning the smiles of girls, like he belongs. How is it he belongs everywhere? (PORTRAIT: The Boy with All the Keys in the World with All the Locks)
- I close my eyes and drown in color, open them and drown in light because billions and billions of buckets of light are being emptied on our heads from above. This is it. This is freaking everything. This is the painting painting itself.
About Jude and Noah:
- I don’t know how this can be but it can : A painting is both exactly the same and entirely different every single time you look at it. That’s the way it is between Jude and me now.
- I remember how Jude gave up the sun and stars and oceans for my drawing of him. I’m going to steal it back from her. I’m going to take everything from her. If she were drowning, I’d hold her head under.
- And most important, I don’t worry when I come home one day and find a note on the kitchen table written by Jude asking Mom to come down to the beach to see a sculpture she’s building out of sand. I don’t worry that I take the note and bury it at the bottom of the garbage can. I don’t worry, not really, even though it makes my stomach hurt to do it, no not my stomach, it makes my soul hurt that I could do it, that I actually did it. I should’ve been worrying. I should’ve been worrying a lot.
- [...]and when he revived, the second I knew he was okay, I slapped him as hard as I could across the face. Because how could he have done this? How could he have chosen to leave me here all alone?
- Noah had stopped breathing. So there were these moments when I was in life without him. For the first time. Not even in the womb were we apart. Terror doesn’t come close to describing it. Fury doesn’t come close. Heartbreak, no. There is no way to describe it. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t with me anymore.
- I took from my brother the thing he wanted most in the world. What kind of person does that?
- That’s when it occurs to me that maybe the rocks are weighing him down so he doesn’t rise into the air . . .
- I try to prick the balloon that’s lifting me into the air by telling myself I shouldn’t be this excited to see a guy I only met a day ago. Even if that guy carries the galaxy around in a bag!
- I’m thinking the reason I’ve been so quiet all these years is only because Brian wasn’t around yet for me to tell everything to.
- I don’t worry that when Brian and I are alone in the woods or up on his roof or in his living room watching baseball (whatever), he puts up an electrical fence between us, and never once do I risk death by brushing against it, but when we’re in public, like at The Spot, the fence vanishes, and we become clumsy magnets, bumping and knocking into each other, grazing hands, arms, legs, shoulders, tapping the other on the back, even occasionally the leg, for no good reason except that it’s like swallowing lightning.
- I don’t worry that when I get back to my seat, it all starts again, but this time our legs find each other immediately and he grabs my hand beneath the armrest and squeezes it and we electrocute and die.
- “I love you,” I say to him, only it comes out, “Hey.”“So damn much,” he says back, only it comes out, “Dude.”
Grandma Sweetwine’s bible:
- “You have to see the miracles for there to be miracles, Jude.” She used to say this a lot. It’s the very first passage she wrote in the bible. I’m not a miracle-seer. The very last passage she wrote in the bible was: A broken heart is an open heart.
- “I will bathe in vinegar, down some raw eggs, and start looking for a wasp nest ASAP to put on my head.”“I do not understand this,”he says. “To reverse the leanings of the heart. Ancient family wisdom.”He laughs. “Ah. Very good. In my family, we just suffer.”
- I went to Grandma’s bible, desperate, but it didn’t matter how many rosehips I put in my tea, how much lapis lazuli I hid under my pillow, I couldn’t get rid of the rage.
- Hot guys should be forced into footie pajamas.
- No woman can resist a man who has tidal waves and earthquakes beneath the skin.
- “When I want to ask you to abandoned buildings or kiss those lips of yours or stare into your otherworldly eyes or imagine what you look like under all those baggy drab clothes you’re always hiding in or ravish you on some grimy floor like I’m desperate to this very minute, I’ll just bugger off on my Hippity Hop. Deal?” He holds out his hand. “Friends. Just friends.” Talk about mixed signals; he’s like a roller coaster that talks.
- I’m filled with something I can only describe as recognition. Not because he looks familiar on the outside this time, but because he feels familiar on the inside.
- I blew it. I did. I should’ve kissed him. One kiss, then I could die. Well, wait, no freaking way, if I’m going to die, I want to do more than kiss. Way way more.
- Because that’s what all this is about. Nothing else. We wish with our hands, that’s what we do as artists.
- Is there something you need in the world that only your two hands can create?
- “It’s okay to be addicted to beauty,” Mom says, all dreamy . “Emerson said ‘Beauty is God’s handwriting.’”
- What slumbers in the heart, slumbers in the stone.
- “If only the heart listen to reason, right?” He puts an arm around me. “C’mon, what is bad for the heart is good for art. The terrible irony of our lives as artists.” Our lives as artists.
- “I don’t think you are okay,”he says. “Sometimes you work the stone, sometimes the stone works you. I think today the rock win.”
PREVIOUS BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION: PS I spook you by SE Harmon.
2023.06.04 02:21 ObsessiveandProud Guess which Beach Boys said the following quotes:
"well she is a hooker and she got her teeth knocked out before."
"ive slept with a hooker. not sex. she was just a friend of mine. we used to watch the twilight zone and she would shoot heroin, and she would give me some foil so i could smoke it, she said she didnt wanna be respibible for me shooting it. and we would sleep and watch the Twilight Zomne and do heroin."
"i tried to watch a movie with a chick on a laptop. im lucky she was a slut or i wouldnt have gotten any"
"its where you take a hit of pot and then press your lips on the girls mouth and blow the hit in her mouth"
"im not gonna be happy until i see The real John Lennon kissing hoes and grabbing coochies with a blunt in his mouth and a guitr strapped on his back"
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2023.06.03 22:43 evet_stu A little ritual passed down... thoughts?
My mother is not a witch but she's superstitious. She taught me if I found lost change I should do the following thing:
Say "Your father and mother should come here!" Blow a kiss on the coin. Put it in my pocket.
This will make the coin's parents come to my pocket, bringing me wealth essentially.
Now I read about lost change being fae traps and that made me think about this whole ritual. Do you think I should continue doing this? Am I putting myself at risk with this? Should I be saying something else, like "thank you"? Should I just leave lost change on the ground?
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2023.06.03 22:34 Wide_Bedroom_7776 WIBTAH For Exposing Them?
I've been trying to figure out where on reddit I should put this but here goes nothing; this is a throwaway account and it's going to be a very long one. For a bit of context I'm in a polyamorous "relationship" where there is also an extremely large age gap among the three of us. I (21F) met my partners, lets call them Collen (46F) and Doug (56M) the beginning of January 2021. My friends kept pushing for me to go out and meet someone and have some fun so I signed up for a dating app not expecting much to come of it because of my "unique" type romantically. I'm completely into the age gap relationship thing so I raised the age on my search to 30-50. and with my luck two swipes in and there she was; beautiful blonde with greenish-blue eyes a great smile. I swiped so fast I couldn't stop myself, and it came back saying that she had also swiped right on me too. I didn't exactly take the time to thoroughly read through the profile because after the mutual swiping I decide to read the profile a little bit more, and it turned out to be a couple. Maybe I should've backed out then but in my mind it was like yolo why not. They are both attractive and who knows maybe it'll be a fun fling to have from time to time until I feel ready to find someone to settle with. I'd never heard of polyamory or any of the things that come with it so I was basically going in blind. So we connected and initially It was just chatting with her through the app getting to know what they were looking for and things like that. She then suggested that I add him on snapchat so I could talk to him as well and do a video chat verification of myself. So I did and to my surprise I'd hit it off with him too. It was like I could talk to him about any and everything. Deep conversations came easily with him. They both reassured me they wouldn't force me to go too fast or do anything I don't want to do. Made me feel very comfortable from the get go. Eventually the whole conversation moved to snapchat they created a group chat and I could text them separately whenever. I mostly spoke with him separately and she would really only respond in the group. I met up with him about a month later. She couldn't come along as she had to stay home with their daughter but gave us her blessing to have fun and tell her about it tomorrow. It was a great time we talked sat by the water till almost 5am. Another month in they invited me over to their place so we could all be together and I of course accepted. When I got there I was shocked to have been greeted at the door by the two of them and their daughter. For another reference I love kids and have been helping my siblings and other family members raise theirs since I was 6 and I'd told them about that as well, But still it threw me for a loop because it'd only been 3 months they still don't know too too much about me and we all knew I wasn't exactly coming over to just "have dinner and watch movies" and it seemed strange to me. We had dinner and it was nice we laughed a lot and all got along pretty good. When it got later in the night Colleen put their daughter to bed and Doug and I went to their bedroom. She joined us and we got busy and in the midst of it I began to bleed as apart of this health condition I have which they were aware of, and they immediately stopped to care for me clean me up an make sure I was ok and insisted that I sleep over for the night. They grabbed a blow up bed and set it up in their room for me. That simple gesture did something in my heart. I come from a pretty fucked up broken abusive home some of which they'd also known about so no one had ever really taken care of me like that before until them. Immediately my heart was absolutely sure this wouldn't be a one time fling like i'd thought. Fast forward some time everything was going pretty well. We all talked, sent pictures etc in the group and then I'd come over their place again and we'd have a good time I'd either sleep over and go home, and the cycle just continued on like that. Now up until May there had never been a title placed on what we had going on, so I wasn't too hopeful it'd stay on the same track it was on. Then at about the end of May he asks me to be their girlfriend. Says it's something they both want and again blindly going through with it I said yes, but looking back I should've asked her myself if that was really what she also wanted and maybe I could've saved myself the heart ache. So now we are officially in a relationship and everything is going fairly well.. Fast forward to 2022 about end of July maybe early into August. She started to become... distant small stuff at first like not wanting to have sex because she wasn't feeling well which I completely understood never would I make her feel bad for that. Then it became not wanting to be in the same room as me. Like Doug their daughter and I would be in the living room watching a movie or something just hanging out and she'd leave and go into their bedroom and wouldn't come back out until dinner or it was time for their daughter to go bed so she could tuck her in. It started to make me feel... weird and I couldn't bring myself to ask her what was going on, but Doug would continue to reassure me that she was attracted to me she loved being with me. I wanted to believe him but I couldn't in my heart and due to past trauma I didn't want to face if she'd say no. Now don't get me wrong she and I spent time together just the two of us. Sunday's she and I would go out shopping but you could cut the tension with a knife during those rides sometimes. I wanted to say something but Doug had prior told me about a girl from their past who hurt her and left her emotionally stunted with women so I alway tried my hardest to make sure I didn't do that to her and didn't do anything to cause her any discomfort sort of letting her come into it on her own. Plus she showed her love in other ways with catering to me buying me things particular to what I love. She'd said I love you verbally to me on 2 separate occasions which she apparently doesn't do. So I just could never find the right time to do so. Then Doug started searching on the app again for other women to add to it. He liked to watch and they'd had foursomes with other women where he would watch them with Colleen and take videos that have been shown to me before. I didn't know how I felt about this so I just went along with to see where it would go. Luckily it has never gone beyond a texting conversation among them although we have come close a few times. Anyways end of October early November of 22. Everything was so completely off between she and I felt it every time I would go over to their house. I didn't know what to do or how to address it. It was starting to really take a toll on me mentally. And they were also planning to move to another state where her family is and that caused me to worry more then before because I would not be going with them, who is to say that they won't meet another woman or women on the app and brush me off to the side numerous thoughts went through my mind over this. Plus it would be close to her father and best friend so she is definitely going to want to spend a great amount of time with them and there would be no real way to explain who I am to them considering I'm hispanic and they are White so it wouldn't be easy to play it off and none of them know that she is into women and that they are apart of the lifestyle not even her best friend. (This information is important to my point) Then one night Doug was driving me back to my house and he told me she had cried in their bedroom that morning while I was still asleep because she is uncomfortable in her body and uncomfortable around me. Flat out my heart sank and in my mind all I could think was how could you love and be with someone but not be comfortable around them or even talk to them about it, and you're moving to a new state you pretty much are going to want nothing to do with me. This triggered my abandonment issues like nothing else ever could and they knew of this issue and my need for reassurance I thought they would understand my need to know especially Doug since he questioned constantly if I was happy with our relationship and the age gap and if i wanted to leave I reassured him constantly that I couldn't go anywhere. I cried that night and decided to open the app myself just to find someone to talk to or even distract me for a moment nothing extreme. It escalated and i did cheat emotionally and I kissed the girl but that was it at that time. I felt bad and I am terrible at lying so eventually the truth exposed itself. the day of it was like she could feel something was going to change she came out of their room to where I was on the couch and just made out with me out of the blue. I didn't know what to do. Let's just say the truth revealed itself on that drive home that night and we broke up... for 18 days. I tried to move on with my life because every one was telling me to since the age gap and a bunch of other factors as well so I did and ended up being set up to be raped twice. needless to say my faith in humanity is gone on that end. so I tried one last time to talk to him and work things out. I did and by Christmas we were back together and working on getting better. Now here we are June 2023 they've found a house they will be moving into in just a few weeks. I've been helping them clean and pack up their old home a few times during this process. Doug swears nothing will change but everything will especially considering technically I'm only now in a romantic relationship with Doug and Colleen and I.. I don't even know if you could call it a friendship. Things are hitting that weird point again and he has met another girl on the app he wants him and I to meet and play with its only been 2 days and she's basically giving herself up to him as a submissive which he loves and gave the both of them access to her remote vibrator to pleasure her with which of course he had to tell me about. Now with all o that back ground out of the way here comes the real reason for my post. Despite all of the things I said above there are many red flags about them that I continually overlooked because of the lovers gaze i had on them. Including and I'm not proud of it pedo.... and incest (they both swear they'd never really cross that line with their daughter but I am not 100% sure I believe especially after he told me why he lost his old job) Especially with Doug he even talks about how things would've been if they would've raised me when he would've started wanting to play with me. I'm not proud that I stayed and overlooked those things part of me knows I stay to protect their daughter from them, and the other knows I stay because I trauma bonded myself onto them and can't get away. I'm not even attracted to anyone outside of them yes it is that bad. Lately things have been so confusing and tossed up i am ready to call it quits. (I am a hyper aware person to a default so I know when someone is trying to manipulate and play mind games with me which is what she is doing and I let them think they are succeeding and him he is just attracted to how young and hyper sexual I can be when we are together.) but not before I set a few little fires. I've curated a plan to send a letter to her father, and best friend. As well as his siblings (his parents are diseased) detailing what they've done and thus ultimately outting her as bisexual to them which I know is wrong but after the emotional and psychological abuse they instilled upon me it seems appropriate. Before she married him She was having a fling with her bosses sister at her bosses house. I know the bosses name and have her information so I could send her an email with the detailed story. Of course that is not grounds to fire her but it will cause enough tension and discomfort in my eyes. She is also adopted and recently found her bio moms family; I have their information as well and plan to give them a thorough warning about their estranged family member and what comes with her since they do explicit talk about the family members they would fuck including children of their cousins etc.. It is a toss up considering her father and best friend may be completely supportive of her and not cause any harm there. This won't repair the abuse they've done to me or help me heal but I took the higher road and over looked so many things for 3 years. Someone has to stop them in their tracks so they never do what they did to me to another woman again. WIBTAH?
submitted by Wide_Bedroom_7776
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2023.06.03 19:16 cesario_ Theorycrafting Saitama: killing (almost) any monster in a single punch
! I’ve been working on this character theorycraft for a while now, and I’ve quite nearly accomplished my goal — only to fall barely short at the final 1%. I’m sharing it now in a 99-percent-complete state, for everyone to enjoy reading my mad scientist ravings, or to offer their own suggestions on how to wring out just a little bit more damage to finally have a character that can kill any creature in a single punch. tl;dr: a theorycrafted level 20 Saitama character can deal 634 damage on average in a single punch, instantly killing 99% of all published monsters (27 monsters can survive).
The self-imposed rules
- Must be RAW.
- All printed magic items are allowed, and random properties may be chosen.
- Average rolls will be used for ability checks, attacks, and damage rolls.
- All the damage must be dealt in a single punch attack: damage that happens after the resolution of the attack does not count (poisons, damage on a later turn, etc.)
- Any amount of preparation time for the single punch is allowed.
- No friends — all the preparation must be done by the single character. No buff spells may be cast by other people.
- Bonus points if everything can be explained within One-Punch Man’s canon lore.
Now, let’s get into it!
Protector Aasimar. Saitama claims to be an ordinary man, but let’s be honest, to have such ludicrous power, he must be more than human. Aasimar are more or less human, but with a touch of the divine, which fits the bill perfectly.Mechanically, we’re choosing this for the Radiant Soul option: as an action once per long rest, they transform for 1 minute and once per turn can deal their level in radiant damage to one target of an attack. At level 20, this will add +20 radiant damage to the punch, by far the highest single-attack damage boost of any racial ability.
Saitama has incredible strength, speed, reflexes, and durability, which he attributes to an intense training regimen. How could he have gotten such formidable training? Well, perhaps he read the instructions in a magic book. The Manuals of Gainful Exercise, Quickness of Action, and Bodily Health are very rare magic items that describe “fitness exercises,” “coordination and balance exercises,” and “health and diet tips” with words that are charged with magic. Studying these manuals and practicing their guidelines for 48 hours increases a creature’s STR, DEX, and CON stats by 2, as well as increasing their maximum for that score — up to a cap of 30. Clearly, to have such godlike strength, dexterity, and constitution, Saitama’s intense training must have included reading as many Manuals as necessary to raise his STR, DEX, and CON stats each to a godlike 30.This results in Saitama having a +10 to STR attack and damage rolls, a +10 boost to DEX checks like stealth and initiative, and a ridiculous amount of hit points.In order to multiclass, Saitama will also need at least a 13 in INT, WIS, and CHA — which should be achievable.
Saitama starts by taking three levels in Armorer Artificer
, which gives him a suit of Arcane Armor that expands to cover his entire body and can be used as a spellcasting focus for artificer spells. The text describes “metallurgical pursuits,” but nothing RAW forbids one from choosing a suit of yellow leather armor for Arcane Armor. At AC 11 + DEX, this gives Saitama an AC of 21 — which doesn’t really matter, since he can kill nearly anything in a single punch before it ever has a chance of attacking him.We choose the Guardian Armor Model for Saitama’s Arcane Armor, causing the red rubber gloves on his leather armor to be counted as Thunder Gauntlets: they count as simple melee weapons when not holding anything in them, and deal 1d8 thunder damage on a hit. Saitama also has the option to use his INT modifier instead of STR or DEX when attacking with the gauntlets, but let’s be honest, he’s going to stick with his godlike +10 STR modifier here.Saitama will infuse his gloves with the Enhanced Weapon artificer infusion, giving them a +1 to attack and damage rolls, and turning them into a magic item.From Armorer, Saitama also learns the spells Booming Blade and Absorb Elements.To complete Saitama’s armor, he also gains a white Cloak of Billowing (a common magic item that does not require attunement) and a pair of red rubber Boots of Elvenkind (an uncommon magic item that also does not require attunement, and gives advantage on Stealth checks to move silently).
Next, Saitama takes nine levels in warlock
. He chooses the Hexblade patron and Pact of the Blade, and gains the Hexblade’s Curse, the Eldritch Smite invocation, and the Banishing Smite spell from the Hexblade expanded spell list. He will also transform his gloves into his pact weapon, and take the Improved Pact Weapon invocation, allowing him to use his gloves as a spellcasting focus for warlock spells. Unfortunately, because his gloves are already a magic weapon with a +1 to attack and damage rolls from the Enhanced Weapon artificer infusion, they do not gain an additional +1 to attack and damage rolls from Improved Pact Weapon.Hexblade’s Curse allows Saitama to curse a creature within 30 feet for 1 minute as a bonus action, and add his proficiency bonus to damage rolls against that target.Eldritch Smite deals 1d8 force damage plus another 1d8 for each level of warlock spell slot expended when hitting a creature with one’s pact weapon. At a maximum 5th level spell slot, this adds 6d8 force damage to his punch.Banishing Smite activates as a bonus action and consumes concentration for 1 minute to add an extra 5d10 force damage on the next hit with a weapon attack. Additionally, if the target then has 50 HP or less, it is banished to its home plane (or until the spell ends).At nine levels in Warlock, Saitama gets two 5th-level spell slots per short rest. This is just enough for one usage of Eldritch Smite and one casting of Banishing Smite. However, he will then have to rest before going out to fight villains again — perhaps a good reason for why he spends so much time relaxing at home playing video games and reading manga.Saitama also gets two ASIs at his fourth and eighth levels of warlock. At these levels, he will take the Martial Adept and Fey Touched feats
. The Martial Adept feat gives him a d6 superiority die and two maneuvers, one of which will be Menacing Attack (the other does not matter). Menacing Attack adds the d6 to the damage of the attack and forces the target to make a WIS save or be frightened (and though our goal is to kill the target outright, if it somehow survives, Saitama’s DC will be a difficult-to-surmount 24: 8 + 6 [proficiency bonus] + 10 [STR mod]). From the Fey Touched feat, Saitama will learn the first-level divination spell Gift of Alacrity, which lasts 8 hours without concentration and adds 1d8 to his initiative rolls.
To kill creatures in a single punch, Saitama will need to train to Assassinate: taking four levels in Assassin Rogue
. Assassinate gives Saitama advantage on attacks against creatures that have not yet taken a turn in combat, and automatic critical hits on creatures who are surprised. In order to surprise creatures, Saitama will need to succeed on a Stealth check contested by the target’s Perception: “Any character or monster that doesn't notice a threat is surprised at the start of the encounter.” Saitama rarely sneaks up on his targets, but usually allows them to monologue for a long time before annihilating them with a single punch. It is his unremarkable appearance that allows him to take his enemies by surprise — and perhaps that appearance is its own form of stealth. Just to make getting surprise mechanically possible, Saitama will take an Expertise in Stealth, to double his proficiency for a +12 to Stealth in addition to his +10 DEX modifier. Due to his red rubber Boots of Elvenkind, he will also get advantage on Stealth checks made to move silently.With a +22 to Stealth, on an average d20 roll of 13.825 (with advantage), a Stealth of 35.825 should allow him to defeat the passive perception of nearly every monster — even the Greatwyrms, which have a passive perception of only 32. Tiamat has a passive perception of 36, and as the monster with the highest passive perception, she is the only monster capable of successfully noticing Saitama’s threat (unless he gets a little lucky with the Stealth roll). If we really want to ensure that Saitama can go undetected, we could give him the Epic Boon of Undetectability for an additional +10 to Stealth checks and immunity to detection or targeting by divination magic.He will also need to beat his target on an initiative roll to be able to get an automatic critical hit — which is why he will take the Alert feat
on his fourth level of rogue, giving him a +5 to initiative rolls in addition to the +10 from his DEX modifier. As the only bonus monsters get to initiative is from their DEX modifier (and the highest DEX modifier that any monster has is +9, for the Elder Tempest or Will-o’-Wisp), with a total +6 edge from the +5 from Alert and his +10 DEX modifier, as well as +1d8 from Gift of Alacrity, Saitama will beat even the fastest monsters’ initiative rolls 89% of the time (and a later item will increase this to 97%).
When Saitama uses a Serious Punch, it’s like sending the target on a Path to their Grave. Thus, Saitama will take two levels in Grave Cleric
. As an action, Path to the Grave allows Saitama to choose “another creature’s life force for termination.” The next time he hits the chosen creature within 30 feet with an attack, the creature has vulnerability to all of the attack’s damage, causing the damage to be doubled (as long as the creature is not immune or resistant to any of the damage types).
Lastly, Saitama will take two levels in paladin
, gaining Divine Smite and the Dueling fighting style.When hitting with a melee weapon attack, he can expend a spell slot to Divine Smite, dealing additional radiant damage to the target. At three levels of artificer, two levels of cleric, and two levels of paladin, Saitama is a fifth-level multiclassed caster (his three levels from artificer are halved and rounded up to two, cleric gives two levels, and two levels of paladin is halved to one, for a total of five). This gives him two 3rd-level spell slots per long rest — spending a 3rd level slot on a Divine Smite gives an extra 4d8 radiant damage (1d8 off of the maximum of 5d8 from spending a 4th-level spell). It also deals an extra 1d8 to undead or fiend targets.The Dueling fighting style gives +2 to damage rolls when wielding a melee weapon in one hand and no other weapons. The Thunder Gauntlets count as simple melee weapons when not holding anything in them, so Saitama will hold something in his right hand, leaving him wielding only one Thunder Gauntlet on his left hand when he delivers a Serious Punch. (In One-Punch Man canon, Saitama usually punches with his right hand. For a mechanical reason, our theorycrafted DND Saitama has to punch with his left. Maybe this is why DND Saitama is slightly weaker than canon Saitama, and isn’t able to kill every monster in a single hit.)
With three levels of artificer, nine levels of warlock, four levels of rogue, two levels of cleric, and two levels of paladin, Saitama is a level 20 character.
As mentioned above, Saitama will take Martial Adept and Fey Touched at his fourth and eighth warlock level, and Alert at his fourth level of rogue.
When Saitama strikes someone, it occasionally appears as if he has grown to incredible size (https://tenor.com/view/one-punch-man-gif-23643267
). To simulate this, DND Saitama will consume a Potion of Giant Size (legendary) and a Potion of Growth (rare), increasing to Huge for 24 hours and then again to Gargantuan for 1d4 hours. From the Potion of Giant Size, his weapons roll three times as many dice (thus increasing his Thunder Gauntlets to deal 3d8 thunder damage on hit). From the Potion of Growth, Saitama gets advantage on STR checks and saves, and deals 1d4 additional damage on weapon attacks.
Saitama can attune to three magic items. We will choose the Hand of Vecna (legendary), Sword of Kas (legendary), and a Ring of Spell Storing (rare).
To attune to the Hand of Vecna, Saitama had to lop off his left hand at the wrist and replace it with the Hand of Vecna. This withered hand is hidden within his red rubber glove, and (among other properties) allows him to deal an extra 2d8 cold damage when he makes a melee weapon attack with a weapon held in the hand.The Hand of Vecna also includes one minor and one major beneficial property, along with one minor detrimental property. For the major beneficial property, we will choose the property: “When you hit with a weapon attack while attuned to the artifact, the target takes an extra 1d6 damage of the weapon's type.” For the minor beneficial property, we will choose immunity to charm and fear effects. The minor detrimental property we will choose is: “Your appearance changes as the DM decides” — from his intense training regimen (which included chopping off his left hand and replacing it with the Hand of Vecna), Saitama unfortunately lost all of his hair — still a sore spot for him.
The Sword of Kas grants several abilities, but Saitama only attacks with punches, so it will remain in its scabbard, somewhere on his person. While it is on his person, it adds an additional d10 to Saitama’s initiative (raising his probability of having a higher initiative than even a monster with +9 DEX to 97%).The Sword of Kas also includes one minor and one major beneficial property, as well as one minor and one major detrimental property. We will choose the same major beneficial property as the Hand of Vecna, for an extra 1d6 damage when hitting with a weapon attack (typically effects of the same type do not stack. However, since these are generic properties of two artifacts with different names, the properties should stack under RAW). The minor beneficial property can be any (some thematic options include immunity to disease or +1 AC), and the minor detrimental property can be: “The first time you touch a gem or piece of jewelry while attuned to this artifact, the value of the gem or jewelry is reduced by half.” Perhaps this explains why Saitama is poor. The major detrimental property can be taking 8d10 psychic damage when attuning to the Sword of Kas: Saitama mentions that his training was so intense that he thought he might die — perhaps this damage was why it felt so intense. (Note: with eighteen levels in classes with d8 hit dice and two levels of paladin for d10 hit dice, Saitama’s average hit points is 92, not counting the incredible 200 additional HP from his +10 CON modifier. Even at a maximum roll of 80 psychic damage from attuning to Sword of Kas, he wouldn’t actually die.)Interestingly, the Sword of Kas also causes its bearer to gradually become obsessed with destroying anyone corrupted by the Hand of Vecna — this might cause Saitama to become fairly conflicted.
Lastly, the Ring of Spell-Storing. Up to five levels of spells can be stored within, and can be cast while touching the ring. Saitama can spend one of his fifth-level Pact Magic slots to cast Absorb Elements (learned from his levels in artificer) into the ring, before resting to regain his Pact Magic slot. Absorb Elements can be cast as a reaction to elemental damage, grants resistance to the triggering damage, and adds an extra 1d6 of that damage type per spell level when the next time the caster hits with a melee attack on their next turn. Cast at a fifth level, this adds 5d6 elemental damage to Saitama’s punch.To voluntarily trigger the Absorb Elements, we will have Saitama use his free object interaction to stick a finger into a vial of acid held in his right hand (which also makes the Thunder Gauntlet in his right hand no longer count as a melee weapon since it's holding something, thus enabling him to use the Dueling fighting style with his left). The acid will burn Saitama, allowing him to cast Absorb Elements in reaction, getting resistance to the acid damage and charging up 5d6 acid damage to be released on his next melee attack this turn.
Preparation to punch
In order to maximize damage in a single attack, Saitama needs to do some preparation. At some point, he will spend one of his fifth-level Pact Magic slots to cast Absorb Elements into the Ring of Spell Storing, before resting to regain his Pact Magic slot.
On the day of, he must also cast Gift of Alacrity to maximize his initiative rolls (this lasts 8 hours), and spend an action drinking the Potion of Giant Size (which lasts 24 hours). One hour before the fight, he must drink the Potion of Growth (which lasts a minimum of 1 hour). He must also open the vial of acid and hold it ready in his right hand.
A minute before punching his target, he must spend an action to activate his Radiant Soul Aasimar transformation, and spend an action and a bonus action cursing his target with the Hexblade’s Curse and Path to the Grave.
Finally, on the turn he punches, he spends his free object interaction to touch the acid in the vial until it causes damage, then casts Absorb Elements as a reaction from his Ring of Spell Storing. He spends his bonus action casting Banishing Smite, and then his action casting the cantrip Booming Blade.
(He has cast three spells in one turn, but the only limitation on casting multiple spells per turn is that if he casts a spell as a bonus action, he may only cast a cantrip — like Booming Blade — with his action.) Edit (thank you to u/yethegodless for alerting me): I made a mistake with the rules on casting multiple spells on a turn. Saitama would have to cast Banishing Smite on the turn before he punches. Casting a spell with a bonus action casting time not only limits you to casting a cantrip with your action, but also prevents you from casting any other spells (like casting Absorb Elements as a reaction). If he casts Banishing Smite right after activating Hexblade's Curse and Path to the Grave, he has another nine turns to activate the punch. And as long as he doesn't cast a spell with his bonus action, then he can definitely cast Absorb Elements as a reaction and Booming Blade with his action.
Booming Blade requires a material component: a melee weapon worth at least 1 sp. Normally, using his arcane armor as a spellcasting focus would allow him to ignore material components, but this material component cannot be ignored because it has a cost. The Thunder Gauntlets from a suit of arcane armor have no assigned cost, but the basic leather armor costs 10 gp, so it’s a safe assumption that a magically-enhanced +1 Thunder Gauntlet would cost more than 1 sp.Upon casting the spell, Saitama makes a melee attack against a creature within 5 feet. At level 20, the cantrip adds an extra 3d8 thunder damage to the initial attack, and an additional 4d8 if the target moves on its next turn — but the latter damage will not count for this purpose because our goal is to annihilate the target with the first hit.
Assuming that his stealth and initiative checks have allowed Saitama to surprise his target and go first in the initiative order, he has advantage on his attack from Assassinate and gets +17 to the roll: +6 from his proficiency, +10 from his STR modifier, and +1 from the Enhanced Weapon infusion. The monsters with the highest AC are Tiamat and the Tarrasque, with an AC of 25 — with advantage and a +17 to hit, Saitama has an 88% chance of hitting, and any hit is an automatic critical hit from Assassinate.If a guaranteed hit is desired, we could give Saitama an Epic Boon of Combat Prowess, choosing to hit on a melee weapon attack once per short rest. At that point, the attack roll doesn’t even matter.
The 1d8 thunder damage from his Thunder Gauntlets is tripled to 3d8 by the Potion of Giant Size. The Gauntlets deal an extra 1d4 thunder damage from the Potion of Growth, an extra 2d6 thunder damage from the major beneficial properties of the Hand of Vecna and the Sword of Kas, and an extra 1d6 thunder damage from the Menacing Attack maneuver. The attack deals an extra 2d8 cold damage because it was made with a weapon wielded by the Hand of Vecna. We add an additional 6d8 force damage from Eldritch Smite, 5d10 force damage from Banishing Smite, 4d8 radiant damage from Divine Smite, 5d6 acid damage from Absorb Elements, and 3d8 thunder damage from Booming Blade.
Let’s total this up: 6d8+1d4+3d6 thunder + 2d8 cold + 6d8+5d10 force + 4d8 radiant + 5d6 acid damage
All these dice are doubled on the critical hit from Assassinate: 12d8+2d4+6d6 thunder + 4d8 cold + 12d8+10d10 force + 8d8 radiant + 10d6 acid damage
Now, counting the flat damage: 10 thunder damage from Saitama’s STR modifier on the Thunder Gauntlets, +1 thunder damage from the Enhanced Weapon infusion, +6 thunder damage from Hexblade’s Curse, and +2 thunder damage from the Dueling fighting style, for a total of +19 thunder damage. We also add 20 radiant damage from the Radiant Soul transformation.
Another preliminary total: 12d8+2d4+6d6+19 thunder + 4d8 cold + 12d8+10d10 force + 8d8+20 radiant + 10d6 acid damage
All the damage is doubled by the vulnerability inflicted by Path to the Grave: 24d8+4d4+12d6+38 thunder + 8d8 cold + 24d8+20d10 force + 16d8+40 radiant + 20d6 acid damage
This averages to 198 thunder + 36 cold + 218 force + 112 radiant + 70 acid damage, for a total of 634 damage on average in a single punch.
Anything that survives this formidable blow must then have more than 50 hit points remaining, or else it is banished to its home plane without a save by Banishing Smite (thus, Saitama's punch can effectively defeat creatures with up to 684 HP).
After two short rests, Saitama could theoretically do a Serious Punch again on the same day — minus the +40 radiant damage from Radiant Soul (doubled by Path to the Grave), the only ability used that requires a long rest to recharge. After a second Serious Punch, though, he’ll run out of third-level spell slots for the Divine Smite.
The targets (who survives?)
With the most hit points out of any monster in DND 5e, the Tarrasque has 676 HP, damage immunities to fire, poison, and bludgeoning/piercing/slashing damage from nonmagical attacks, three legendary resistances per day, advantage on saves against spells, can nullify or reflect ranged attack spells, and can terrify creatures within 120 feet with its Frightful Presence.None of this protects it from a single punch from our Caped Baldy. On 62% of possible damage rolls, that Tarrasque is getting sent back to its plane of origin, gibbering with fear: with a WIS modifier of +0, it has no chance of succeeding the DC 24 WIS save against Saitama’s Menacing Attack (of course, Tarrasques are immune to the frightened condition, but let’s ignore that because it’s funny).
However, this doesn’t quite count as killing
the tarrasque in a single punch, since it’s banished but still alive (and returns after one minute if it’s not originally from another plane). Additionally, a several other monsters could definitely survive the punch — chief among them, Tiamat:Outside of being immune to acid and cold damage (reducing the damage by 106 points and dropping the remaining 528 total damage from the punch well below her total HP of 615), Tiamat is also immune to spells of level 6 or lower: thus completely nullifying the effects of both Booming Blade and Banishing Smite. However, as a fiend, Divine Smite does deal an extra d8 radiant damage against her. Still, eliminating Booming Blade and Banishing Smite drops the single punch damage to 382 on average, leaving Tiamat with 233 HP: more than a third of her health.Instead casting Banishing Smite and Booming Blade, Saitama could use his action to punch twice using the Thirsting Blade eldritch invocation, spending both his 5th-level Pact Magic spell slots on Eldritch Smites and both 3rd-level slots on Divine Smites. If Saitama managed to sneak up on Tiamat to surprise her and get the automatic critical hits from Assassinate, he would deal 3d8+1d4+3d6 thunder + 6d8 force + 5d8 radiant damage on each attack, doubled from the critical hit to 6d8+2d4+6d6 thunder + 12d8 force + 10d8 radiant damage, and a total of +19 thunder on both attacks and +20 radiant on the first. The first attack damage would be doubled from Path to the Grave, but the second would not. The first attack would deal 12d8+4d4+12d6+38 thunder + 24d8 force + 20d8+40 radiant damage, and the second 6d8+2d4+6d6+19 thunder + 12d8 force + 10d8 radiant; for a total damage of 553 on average, still 62 points short of Tiamat’s 615 total HP. Other creatures that would survive:
Thus, our final list of 27 survivors of Saitama’s punch:
- Sapphire Greatwyrms and Velomachus Lorehold — with immunities to thunder damage and HP totals of 507 and 487 respectively, they survive the 436 total non-thunder damage from Saitama’s Serious Punch. With 51 HP remaining on average, Velomachus also has a 53% chance of having enough HP to escape getting banished.
- Amethyst Greatwyrms and Tanazir Quandrix — with immunities to force damage and HP totals of 507 and 444 respectively, they survive the 416 total non-force damage from the Serious Punch. Tanazir is almost definitely getting banished, though.
- The Aspect of Tiamat and Aspect of Bahamut are immune to both fire and cold damage, reducing the Serious Punch to 528 damage — not enough to eliminate their 574 and 585 hit points, respectively. However, both Aspects might still fall victim to the Banishing Smite: 56% of damage rolls will deal enough damage to banish the Aspect of Tiamat, and 37% of rolls for the Aspect of Bahamut. Interestingly, banishing these monsters with the Banishing Smite might be better than reducing them to 0 HP, because dropping them to 0 would trigger their Chromatic Wrath / Platinum Brilliance traits, resetting their HP to 500, recharging their breath weapons and legendary resistances, and unlocking their Mythic Actions.
- Copper Greatwyrms are immune to acid damage, reducing the Serious Punch to 564 damage on average — allowing them to barely survive with 1 hit point left (out of their HP total of 565). They will survive on 52% of damage rolls, and almost certainly get banished if they do. However, on the 48% of damage rolls that succeed in reducing them to 0 HP, they will actually not get banished: instead, their Metallic Awakening will immediately trigger and will reset their HP to 450.
- Silver Greatwyrms have 565 HP and immunity to cold damage, but even without cold damage, the Serious Punch still deals 598 damage on average: enough to reduce them to 0 HP on 91% of damage rolls. Interestingly, this gives Silver Greatwyrms higher odds of surviving than Copper Greatwyrms, because they are far more likely to trigger the Metallic Awakening and reset their HP to 450 to escape banishment — rather than Copper Greatwyrms, which have better-than-even odds of surviving the initial punch but then getting banished for their trouble.
- The other 11 types of Greatwyrm not yet mentioned will also survive thanks the same reason as the Silver Greatwyrm: they can't survive the initial punch, but being reduced to 0 HP will trigger their Metallic/Chromatic/Gem Awakening traits to reset their HP to 400 or more, ironically allowing them to evade being banished. Of the 15 types of Greatwyrm, only Copper Greatwyrms have moderate odds of getting banished in a single strike — the others will either survive the first hit entirely, or get reduced to 0 hit points and trigger their Awakening to avoid getting banished.
- Zariel from Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes and Archduke Zariel of Avernus from Descent into Avernus each have resistance to radiant damage, resistance or immunity to cold damage (respectively), and 580 hit points. However, they are fiends, causing the Divine Smite to add an additional 9 radiant damage on average (the 1d8 extra Divine Smite damage to fiends is doubled twice from the critical hit and Path to the Grave, but halved from Zariel’s resistance to radiant damage). Accounting for the resistance to radiant damage and the bonus Divine Smite damage to fiends, the punch deals 587 total damage. Then, subtracting 18 damage for cold resistance or 36 damage for cold immunity, Zariel survives with 11 HP and Archduke Zariel with 29 HP — both still very likely getting banished back to Avernus.
- No creature has resistance to thunder and more than 535 hit points to survive the punch, resistance to force damage and more than 525 hit points, or resistance to acid damage and more than 599 hit points. Only 10 creatures other than Zariel have resistances to thunder, cold, force, radiant, or acid damage and more than 400 HP: of those, Sul Khatesh, Rak Tulkhesh, Orcus, and the Demogorgon’s cold resistances reduce the damage by 18, but, as fiends, they take an additional 18 radiant damage from Divine Smite — and with 475, 478, 405, and 406/464 HP respectively (depending on the source book), they get easily annihilated by the Serious Punch. Tromokratis is resistant to both thunder and cold damage, reducing the Serious Punch by 117 damage, but with 409 HP, the Serious Punch still deals over 100 more points of damage than necessary to kill it. The Marut and the Ancient Amethyst Dragon are also only resistant to one of the damage types, which does not reduce the damage enough for them to survive.
- Many creatures have the Regeneration trait that allow them to survive and regain a certain amount of HP at the start of their turn even if they start their turn with 0 HP. However, taking radiant damage disables this trait for fiends, undead, and aberrations, and acid damage disables it for trolls and giants. Cold damage disables it for Tlexolotl and Vegepygmy, thunder damage for the Glasswork Golem, and spell damage for Wereravens. Four monsters have Regeneration traits that still work to bring them back from 0 HP after being hit by Saitama's punch: Loup Garou regenerate if not dealt damage with a silver weapon; the Jabberwock regenerates if not dealt slashing damage; and the Regenerating Black Pudding and Living Doll regenerate if not dealt fire damage (for the Wood Woad, banishment likely counts as no longer being “in contact with the ground” and therefore its Regeneration trait fails). None of these monsters have more than 300 HP, so the 634 damage from Saitama's Punch may be enough to destroy them by dealing more than double their max HP in a single instance of damage — however, Jeremy Crawford rules that massive damage is not enough to kill a monster with regeneration (https://youtu.be/1frsmP_AzV0?t=2663).
- Some undead have an Undead Fortitude trait that allows them to drop to 1 HP instead of 0 on a save; however, these traits are disabled by both the fact that the Serious Punch deals radiant damage, is a critical hit (from Assassinate), and that they would have to succeed on a CON save with a DC of 5+the damage taken: DC 657 (when taking account the extra 18 radiant damage Divine Smite deals to undead).
- Vampires, Liches, and other monsters with the Rejuvenation trait may also be utterly destroyed by the punch, but survive by regenerating or gaining a new body later. However, we will still count them as having been killed by the punch, even if they didn’t fully die. Even if they return to bother Saitama, he can just destroy them again in a single punch.
- There may be other monsters with features that allow them to escape a single attack — if there are, they don't immediately come to mind.
- Nullifies the punch (1): Tiamat
- Avoids banishment with 51-100 HP (3): Sapphire Greatwyrm, Amethyst Greatwyrm, Aspect of Bahamut
- Gets reduced to 0 but avoids banishment by resetting their HP through the Awakening trait (12): Silver Greatwyrm and 11 other types of Greatwyrm
- 50/50 odds of being banished (3): Velomachus Lorehold, Aspect of Tiamat, Copper Greatwyrm
- Likely banished, but still alive (4): Tarrasque, Tanazir Quandrix, Zariel and Archduke Zariel
- Reduced to 0 HP and banished, but regenerates (4): Loup Garou, Jabberwock, Regenerating Black Pudding, Living Doll
Saitama can kill all remaining 2,800+ monsters ever printed in a single punch.
Thank you for reading!
If you've gotten this far, thanks for sticking with me! If you have any ideas on how to squeeze out the last bits of damage to allow Saitama to one-hit kill any of the remaining 27 monsters, please comment to let me know!
submitted by cesario_
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2023.06.03 17:17 Proletlariet Spyro
Hold your horns, here comes Spyro! Spyro the Dragon is, as the name suggests, a young dragon. Over the course of the series, he goes on many adventures. That's basically everything.
This RT only covers the classic timeline, and not The Legend of Spyro or Skylanders.
Dragon Breath General Strength
One of Spyro's most notable abilities is breathing fire. Metal enemies are resistant to fire, but can be defeated by charging, while enemies that are too big to be charged can be knocked down with a fire attack (as seen here)
- Sparx states that Spyro's fire is at least 7800 degrees Fahrenheit
- Ashes Toasty's costume, scorching the grass underneath
- Ashes a haystack
- Ashes a large pencil
- Ashes some tents
- Ashes a painting
- Ashes a cuckoo clock
- Ashes a large mushroom
- Ashes thick thorns
- Ashes a gear
- Ashes Rhynocs, killing them
- Burns a tree black
- Burns a cactus black, which then explodes
- Burns a large, magic plant, causing it to revert into a seed
- Melts candle wax instantly
- Melts a block of ice a fairy is trapped in without hurting the fairy
- Melts a large block of ice
- Vaporizes a snowman
- Destroys two sausages and fries a dragon's facial hair
- Scorches Dr. Shemp's rear, sending him fleeing in pain
- Scorches Bianca
- [Burns N. Tropy, N. Brio, and N. Gin]()
- Fires a cannon
- Fires a rocket
- Lights a large candle
- Lights lighthouses
- Keeps "sun seeds" lit, from which a new sun can be grown
- Regrows a tree, somehow
Originally, Spyro could only breathe frost with a superfreeze powerup, or altering the magic that lets him breathe fire, but in later games he gained the ability to breathe it naturally.
Originally, Spyro could only use electric breath (also known as "lightning breath") with a powerup, but later gained the ability to breathe it naturally. It's effective on metal enemies and objects
Spyro has the ability to breathe out powerful gusts of wind.
Spyro has the ability to breath out a spray of water. Unlike his other breath attacks, he cannot injure enemies with this, only push them back
Magic and Equipment Superflame
With a fairy's kiss, or another special powerup, Spyro temporarily gains the Superflame ability. This allows him to breathe fire which is more powerful than his regular flame breath. It can either be breathed like normal, or be shot like a projectile, depending on the game.
Spyro can supercharge on special supercharge ramps (or with the help of special gates), allowing for a much faster and more powerful charge. Spyro runs so fast in this form he burns with red, then purple fire, and can smash a type of chest which he is incapable of charging through normally
Spyro has the power to shield himself with his wings and reflect attacks. It can reflect blunt objects but not piercing attacks
The Shadow Amulet is a powerful artifact which can refine and focus Spyro's magic
Sparx Sparx is the dragonfly that follows Spyro, helping and protecting him, usually by collecting gems for him. His color changes depending on his health. He can also point in the direction of nearby gems.
- Charges poles to knock gems off the top
- Charges coconut trees to shake coconuts out of them
- Charges a monster into a gong, knocking it out
- Charges a sheep into the air
- Charges enemies into the air
- Charges through heavily armored enemies, breaking their armor
- Charges through snowmobiles
- Charges through a robot
- Charges large, armored enemies backwards on slippery ice
- Charges large, stone Earthshapers backwards a fair distance
- Charges the large monster Buzz back repeatedly
- Charges the large Ineptune backwards, pushing her through water and shattering the structure she hits
- Charges into charging bulls, sticking their horns into the ground
- Charges into a birdcage, breaking it apart
- Charges rolling metal barrels, knocking them backwards
- Charges bombs across an arena
- Charges a giant bomb into the water
- Charges through large wooden crates
- Charges through metal chests that cannot be broken with fire
- Charges through Metalhead's power poles
- Charges through a stump
- Charges through a large shell
- Charges through a pile of rocks
- Charges through a large door
- Charges through a wall of wood planks underwater
- Charges through a brick wall
- Charges through a stone wall
- Charges through a large, cracked crystal
- Charges through a cracked stone wall underwater
- Charges through thick, cracked stone
- Charges through thick rock
- Charges through a large rock
- After having a spell cast on him to make him stronger, Spyro can charge through rocks that he could not break before
Durability Blunt Force
Swallowing and Spitting
Skill Hockey Skill
"I thought that dragons had all been dead for a thousand years, or something."
"Well, the rumors about our extinction were slightly exaggerated."
submitted by Proletlariet
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