Genesis mortuary obituaries
Cremation: Discussion & Cremation
2014.02.13 22:31 artisurn Cremation: Discussion & Cremation
Respectful discussion on the topic of cremation for your loved ones and pets.
2011.09.01 21:02 OKfuneraldirector Ask a Funeral Director
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2023.03.25 17:21 DeadHeart4 Funeral Director tried to use Jedi mind tricks on us, is probably selling chopped up body parts
My mother died in the hospital on St Patrick's Day. The whole experience was traumatic and horrifying and I'm going to dress up as Batman and prowl every medical malpractice law office in the state screaming about the man who killed my mother until I get some resolution. But what I really need to get off my chest is my experience with the funeral director.
I'm 38, my older half sister and brother are 58 and 61. I lived with my mother most of my adult life. She had a very minor disability. We didn't get along all the time, but I enjoyed her company and was always happy to live with her.
My siblings have always lived their own lives and live out of state. When she was in the hospital, they both took time off to visit for a few days, but towards the end, it was me and her on our own. She passed, and they insisted on taking care of the funeral. I was very grateful. I'm a teacher... so I make a living wage, but... not as much as they do. Although I still think the honorable thing to do would be to pay them back with her small life insurance payout! They keep declining.
My sister found a local mortuary with good reviews. Within hours of her death, I was told arrangements had been made. The hospital had packed my mothers things and literally escorted me out of the ICU room. I spent the evening plotting revenge, crying, and being harassed by donor alliance.
Donor alliance called within an hour of her death and asked if they could take her skin. She was 80 years old. And her skin was trash. We have a body farm in town. I thought it would upset my brother if I agreed. I said no, she talked over me, insisting they were a non-profit organization, I said no again. She talked over me, saying my mother was on the donor list and it's what she would have wanted. I said no again, she talked over me and said that donation saves lives. My friend grabbed the phone and told them we were not interested in donation. She talked over my friend and said skin graphs could help burn patients. I said no two more times and hung up.
My sister flew out on Tuesday and we met with the funeral director. She said she found a place that does Direct Cremation for $747. I was suspicious - my sister didn't know that our county literally just had a whole fiasco where a different mortuary was sued into oblivion for selling chopped up body parts and giving people fake ashes - but I'm of the mind that the body isn't important after the soul moves on.
We go to the funeral home and spend 2.5 hours talking to the Funeral Director. He is a rambling old man who interrupts and talks over people. During the time we were there, he told us about his own health problems - from an early heart attack to some broken bones, he told us about all the restaurants in town he knew the owner of, stories about his granddaughter - he really just did not want to get down to business.
This is important later, because the crux of his argument becomes: "I spent so much time comforting you, isn't that worth money!?"
Finally, he asked for my sister's credit card and headed downstairs to take care of the bill. I assumed they had everything worked out over the phone earlier. My sister noticed a hung certificate on the wall that had a different funeral service name and commented on it out loud. We were quietly chatting about that when he returned.
He returned and immediately said, "That's my OTHER funeral home. Yup, I have two. This is the cheaper option, in fact, I gave you a bunch of this home's discounts." Wink, wink.
He had run my sisters card and gave her a two page sheet of hand written expenses. It amounted to $2,100. He quickly, and confusedly, explained what some of the costs were: $250 for after hour pick up, $335 or $85 (he wasn't clear) on a credit card processing fee. Direct cremation, around $1,400. My eyes bulged out, because that's not what I was expecting, but I didn't want know if that was what my sister agreed to or not. So I stayed quiet.
That was when he informed us that he did not own a crematorium. That his 'trusted' friend who goes to Denver all the time to help with this was going to take her to a crematorium in Denver and then bring her back.
Ghoulish images of my mother sitting in the back of someone's truck, surrounded by Mcdonalds ice bags and twelve packs of cold beer danced in my head.
When we got home, my sister began to examine the bill.
Over the course of the next few days, he would call us incessantly. The bill had been paid, but he needed to approval of some things... like getting my brother to sign the cremation certificate or getting the correct spelling of a name, sometimes he'd just call us wanting to know if we had checked her obituary on their website and checked out the memory book they were selling. Have I looked at the website yet? How about now? Have I looked at it yet? Just calling to see if I've seen her obituary yet, they chose Danny Boy to play on a midi loop in the background! Long, rambling conversations. He became convinced that I was 'uncomfortable' handling the ashes, and wanted to check multiple times that it would be okay for me to pick them up... or he could express mail them to my sister. For a fee, no doubt.
I began to do research. I learned that funeral homes are required by the FTC to disclose all expenses during the arrangement meeting. It's called the Funeral Rule. No such disclosure had been made with my sister, she was just told she could do the $747 package.
I learned that it was illegal in our state to charge a credit card processing fee (but they could offer a cash discount and bake the processing fee into other things).
What the hell was this random $335 fee coming from? And why was the direct cremation quoted at 1,400-something. That was the price for his other funeral home, I figured out.
He told me that Donor Alliance wouldn't release the body until 11:30pm, and that's why we got charged an afterhours fee. Because the hospital told him he "had" to pick it up. (Or else?) But I found out our hospital will hold a body for up to 48 hours for the family to make arrangements.
The reviews for his place were fine. Four stars. You had to REALLY dig to find the bad ones. But... if you checked his OTHER funeral home... that's where I found everything. "Fraud," "He fucked up the death certificate 3 times," "the hurst ran a red light and got in a fender bender with my dad in the back," "ships bodies to Denver."
My sister was horrified. Imagine a whole week of grieving with your mom's daughter occasionally going, "You must think I'm a moron, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have known."
I told her she couldn't have known. The reviews were good. How often did one person single handedly arrange a funeral? His website looks legit. There's a whole slew of online articles warning about things like this happening because it happens so often. It wasn't her fault.
He called us a few days ago to let us know our mom was in transport and would arrive at the crematorium in 15-20 minutes. I was journaling EVERYTHING. I asked him what the name was of the place she was being sent.
"Well, she isn't there yet. She'll be there in 15-20 minutes."
He was trying to Jedi mind trick me. These are not the droids you're looking for. "I asked WHAT IS THE NAME of the crematorium she's been sent to."
"It's called Encore, but you aren't allowed to call them. You only talk to ME." He insisted. "You can ONLY talk to me. I am your point of contact. You can't contact them."
I was convinced his friend was parked outside someone's funeral home, waiting for the lights to go out, so he could slither in and dump 12 bodies into their incinerator.
My sister sent an e-mail with a screenshot of the package she purchased and a request for an itemized list.
For once, he did not call us right away. We called him the next day, but he said he was at lunch and would call us back. He called us around 6:00 that night.
My sister talked for a bit, but he rolled over her, so I grabbed the phone. I told him that we needed an itemized list of the expenses, as required by FTC law. He said they never discussed a exact amount. I told him my sister got the "Direct Cremation, Urn, and Cremation Service - COMPLETE" package for $747.
He told me that that package was a deal meant for veterans, and I must have read the website wrong.
I went to the website. All of his prices and funeral packages had been erased. The page was blank.
Luckily, we had the screenshot from earlier. And I used the wayback machine to capture a cache image of that page stating exactly what I was talking about. There were no veteran discounts offered on his site.
I told him that he couldn't charge us a credit card processing fee. It was illegal in our state. He said he'd wave it, but wanted me to admit that he spent almost 3 hours talking to us, and wasn't his time worth money? Every time I tried to talk, he'd shout over me that WASN'T HIS TIME WORTH MONEY? He had to pay his employees! That's just how business worked, he had to pay his employees! Hadn't he treated us with respect? I was going to give him a heart attack, did I want to be responsible for giving him a heart attack?
I told him I didn't know that him ranting about his favorite local Mexican restaurant was part of his billable hours.
I had to start raising my voice: let me speak. Stop interrupting me. When do I get to speak? LET ME SPEAK.
He'd counter with: DID I NOT TREAT YOUR FAMILY WITH RESPECT, YES OR NO. YES. OR NO.
Then I told him I was going to report him to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and The Funeral Consumers Alliance and my state Attorney General if he did not give us an itemized list of expenses. Or I tried to, he was shouting over me that he was a human being and that he had to pay his employees a fair wage, and did I know what the definition of 'over time' was?
My sister and I had agreed to pay for the $747 package, the $250 after hour fee, and the cost of the death certificates. I prepared to make that offer if he continued to interrupt me and NOT give us an itemized list.
After screaming at us for 47 minutes - we're a one party state, so I was recording the conversation on my laptop - he said, "I'll tell you what. Because I'm such a good person, I'll refund you half of the bill." I did the math, repeated the date several times for my recording, and agreed. Half of the bill was the amount I was going to counter with.
The next day was dealing with him calling every 15 minutes, deciding if he was going to pay us back with certified funds (OH BOY) or do a refund and get cash (my sister was from out of State, she didn't have cash), or... every convoluted thing he could think of that wasn't just refunding her credit card. I insisted my sister call her credit card and let them know what was happening, but she didn't want to.
He asked that, since he was losing money here, if my brother would mind picking up her ashes in Denver. Visions of my incredibly distraught brother having to meet some shady in a Walmart parking lot like a bad Craig's list sale danced through my head.
I recorded this session too. It was in person. He mentioned that it would take several days to get the ashes back to our town. That "I knew how tricky they were." I asked for clarification. Did he mean Encore Crematorium, the state capital funeral home that I wasn't allowed to call? No, he said, "Donor Alliance."
Was the "trust worthy" friend who shipped her body from Donor Alliance? Then I remembered Sunset Mesa Mortuary. Another local funeral home, you might have seen it on the news. They chopped up body parts, sold them on the "body market," and gave families fake ashes. They went through a fake company called "Donor Alliance, Inc."
Was this guy the new body dealer?
For fucks sake, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I'm looking forward to getting dirt and sand with my mother's name on it in an urn.
submitted by DeadHeart4 to funeralshaming [link] [comments]
I'm 38, my older half sister and brother are 58 and 61. I lived with my mother most of my adult life. She had a very minor disability. We didn't get along all the time, but I enjoyed her company and was always happy to live with her.
My siblings have always lived their own lives and live out of state. When she was in the hospital, they both took time off to visit for a few days, but towards the end, it was me and her on our own. She passed, and they insisted on taking care of the funeral. I was very grateful. I'm a teacher... so I make a living wage, but... not as much as they do. Although I still think the honorable thing to do would be to pay them back with her small life insurance payout! They keep declining.
My sister found a local mortuary with good reviews. Within hours of her death, I was told arrangements had been made. The hospital had packed my mothers things and literally escorted me out of the ICU room. I spent the evening plotting revenge, crying, and being harassed by donor alliance.
Donor alliance called within an hour of her death and asked if they could take her skin. She was 80 years old. And her skin was trash. We have a body farm in town. I thought it would upset my brother if I agreed. I said no, she talked over me, insisting they were a non-profit organization, I said no again. She talked over me, saying my mother was on the donor list and it's what she would have wanted. I said no again, she talked over me and said that donation saves lives. My friend grabbed the phone and told them we were not interested in donation. She talked over my friend and said skin graphs could help burn patients. I said no two more times and hung up.
My sister flew out on Tuesday and we met with the funeral director. She said she found a place that does Direct Cremation for $747. I was suspicious - my sister didn't know that our county literally just had a whole fiasco where a different mortuary was sued into oblivion for selling chopped up body parts and giving people fake ashes - but I'm of the mind that the body isn't important after the soul moves on.
We go to the funeral home and spend 2.5 hours talking to the Funeral Director. He is a rambling old man who interrupts and talks over people. During the time we were there, he told us about his own health problems - from an early heart attack to some broken bones, he told us about all the restaurants in town he knew the owner of, stories about his granddaughter - he really just did not want to get down to business.
This is important later, because the crux of his argument becomes: "I spent so much time comforting you, isn't that worth money!?"
Finally, he asked for my sister's credit card and headed downstairs to take care of the bill. I assumed they had everything worked out over the phone earlier. My sister noticed a hung certificate on the wall that had a different funeral service name and commented on it out loud. We were quietly chatting about that when he returned.
He returned and immediately said, "That's my OTHER funeral home. Yup, I have two. This is the cheaper option, in fact, I gave you a bunch of this home's discounts." Wink, wink.
He had run my sisters card and gave her a two page sheet of hand written expenses. It amounted to $2,100. He quickly, and confusedly, explained what some of the costs were: $250 for after hour pick up, $335 or $85 (he wasn't clear) on a credit card processing fee. Direct cremation, around $1,400. My eyes bulged out, because that's not what I was expecting, but I didn't want know if that was what my sister agreed to or not. So I stayed quiet.
That was when he informed us that he did not own a crematorium. That his 'trusted' friend who goes to Denver all the time to help with this was going to take her to a crematorium in Denver and then bring her back.
Ghoulish images of my mother sitting in the back of someone's truck, surrounded by Mcdonalds ice bags and twelve packs of cold beer danced in my head.
When we got home, my sister began to examine the bill.
Over the course of the next few days, he would call us incessantly. The bill had been paid, but he needed to approval of some things... like getting my brother to sign the cremation certificate or getting the correct spelling of a name, sometimes he'd just call us wanting to know if we had checked her obituary on their website and checked out the memory book they were selling. Have I looked at the website yet? How about now? Have I looked at it yet? Just calling to see if I've seen her obituary yet, they chose Danny Boy to play on a midi loop in the background! Long, rambling conversations. He became convinced that I was 'uncomfortable' handling the ashes, and wanted to check multiple times that it would be okay for me to pick them up... or he could express mail them to my sister. For a fee, no doubt.
I began to do research. I learned that funeral homes are required by the FTC to disclose all expenses during the arrangement meeting. It's called the Funeral Rule. No such disclosure had been made with my sister, she was just told she could do the $747 package.
I learned that it was illegal in our state to charge a credit card processing fee (but they could offer a cash discount and bake the processing fee into other things).
What the hell was this random $335 fee coming from? And why was the direct cremation quoted at 1,400-something. That was the price for his other funeral home, I figured out.
He told me that Donor Alliance wouldn't release the body until 11:30pm, and that's why we got charged an afterhours fee. Because the hospital told him he "had" to pick it up. (Or else?) But I found out our hospital will hold a body for up to 48 hours for the family to make arrangements.
The reviews for his place were fine. Four stars. You had to REALLY dig to find the bad ones. But... if you checked his OTHER funeral home... that's where I found everything. "Fraud," "He fucked up the death certificate 3 times," "the hurst ran a red light and got in a fender bender with my dad in the back," "ships bodies to Denver."
My sister was horrified. Imagine a whole week of grieving with your mom's daughter occasionally going, "You must think I'm a moron, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have known."
I told her she couldn't have known. The reviews were good. How often did one person single handedly arrange a funeral? His website looks legit. There's a whole slew of online articles warning about things like this happening because it happens so often. It wasn't her fault.
He called us a few days ago to let us know our mom was in transport and would arrive at the crematorium in 15-20 minutes. I was journaling EVERYTHING. I asked him what the name was of the place she was being sent.
"Well, she isn't there yet. She'll be there in 15-20 minutes."
He was trying to Jedi mind trick me. These are not the droids you're looking for. "I asked WHAT IS THE NAME of the crematorium she's been sent to."
"It's called Encore, but you aren't allowed to call them. You only talk to ME." He insisted. "You can ONLY talk to me. I am your point of contact. You can't contact them."
I was convinced his friend was parked outside someone's funeral home, waiting for the lights to go out, so he could slither in and dump 12 bodies into their incinerator.
My sister sent an e-mail with a screenshot of the package she purchased and a request for an itemized list.
For once, he did not call us right away. We called him the next day, but he said he was at lunch and would call us back. He called us around 6:00 that night.
My sister talked for a bit, but he rolled over her, so I grabbed the phone. I told him that we needed an itemized list of the expenses, as required by FTC law. He said they never discussed a exact amount. I told him my sister got the "Direct Cremation, Urn, and Cremation Service - COMPLETE" package for $747.
He told me that that package was a deal meant for veterans, and I must have read the website wrong.
I went to the website. All of his prices and funeral packages had been erased. The page was blank.
Luckily, we had the screenshot from earlier. And I used the wayback machine to capture a cache image of that page stating exactly what I was talking about. There were no veteran discounts offered on his site.
I told him that he couldn't charge us a credit card processing fee. It was illegal in our state. He said he'd wave it, but wanted me to admit that he spent almost 3 hours talking to us, and wasn't his time worth money? Every time I tried to talk, he'd shout over me that WASN'T HIS TIME WORTH MONEY? He had to pay his employees! That's just how business worked, he had to pay his employees! Hadn't he treated us with respect? I was going to give him a heart attack, did I want to be responsible for giving him a heart attack?
I told him I didn't know that him ranting about his favorite local Mexican restaurant was part of his billable hours.
I had to start raising my voice: let me speak. Stop interrupting me. When do I get to speak? LET ME SPEAK.
He'd counter with: DID I NOT TREAT YOUR FAMILY WITH RESPECT, YES OR NO. YES. OR NO.
Then I told him I was going to report him to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and The Funeral Consumers Alliance and my state Attorney General if he did not give us an itemized list of expenses. Or I tried to, he was shouting over me that he was a human being and that he had to pay his employees a fair wage, and did I know what the definition of 'over time' was?
My sister and I had agreed to pay for the $747 package, the $250 after hour fee, and the cost of the death certificates. I prepared to make that offer if he continued to interrupt me and NOT give us an itemized list.
After screaming at us for 47 minutes - we're a one party state, so I was recording the conversation on my laptop - he said, "I'll tell you what. Because I'm such a good person, I'll refund you half of the bill." I did the math, repeated the date several times for my recording, and agreed. Half of the bill was the amount I was going to counter with.
The next day was dealing with him calling every 15 minutes, deciding if he was going to pay us back with certified funds (OH BOY) or do a refund and get cash (my sister was from out of State, she didn't have cash), or... every convoluted thing he could think of that wasn't just refunding her credit card. I insisted my sister call her credit card and let them know what was happening, but she didn't want to.
He asked that, since he was losing money here, if my brother would mind picking up her ashes in Denver. Visions of my incredibly distraught brother having to meet some shady in a Walmart parking lot like a bad Craig's list sale danced through my head.
I recorded this session too. It was in person. He mentioned that it would take several days to get the ashes back to our town. That "I knew how tricky they were." I asked for clarification. Did he mean Encore Crematorium, the state capital funeral home that I wasn't allowed to call? No, he said, "Donor Alliance."
Was the "trust worthy" friend who shipped her body from Donor Alliance? Then I remembered Sunset Mesa Mortuary. Another local funeral home, you might have seen it on the news. They chopped up body parts, sold them on the "body market," and gave families fake ashes. They went through a fake company called "Donor Alliance, Inc."
Was this guy the new body dealer?
For fucks sake, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I'm looking forward to getting dirt and sand with my mother's name on it in an urn.
2023.03.25 11:59 dinkomaricic [H] Kartkraft, Call To Arms, Slay The Spire, Pathfinder WotR, Hell Let Loose, SCUM, Gotham Knights, Back 4 Blood, ETS2, Obduction, State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut, Tower Unite, Man Of Medan & Little Hope, Friday 13th, Satisfactory, Mordhau, Empyrion & 100's more [W] Wishlist, Paypal (EU)
I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like you have the right to ask me the same
Don't offer me VR games as I don't own a VR headset
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle,but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
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Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
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Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
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Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mainlining
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown NEW
Monster Train Collectors Edition
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Mordhau
Mosaic
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
Mountain
My Lovely Daughter
Nairi Tower Of Shirin
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Niche
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Not Tonight
Numba Deluxe
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Pathfinder Wrath Of The Righteous
Pathologic 2
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe (X2)
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Playne The Meditation Game
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Relicta
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelation 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords NEW
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable NEW
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K NEW
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander NEW
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slay The Spire
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition (X2)
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before NEW
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Tannenberg
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club NEW
The Count Lucador
The Dark Pictures Anthology Little Hope
The Dark Pictures Anthology Man Of Medan
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant NEW
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
Them And Us NEW
There Is No Game Wrong Dimension
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tribes Of Midgard
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Ultra Street Fighter IV
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded NEW
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun (X2)
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage NEW
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Wandersong
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
West Of Dead
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin
XCOM Complete Pack
XCOM Ultimate Collection
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City NEW
Zombie Kill Of The Week Reborn
DONT TRY TO SEND A PM BEFORE YOU POST IN THIS TOPIC - WILL NOT DEAL WITH YOU!
submitted by dinkomaricic to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like you have the right to ask me the same
Don't offer me VR games as I don't own a VR headset
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle,but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Armello
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven NEW
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Biomutant NEW
Bionic Commando
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Blade Assault
Blasphemous
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (EMEA region lock)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition (X2)
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (Origin key)
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition NEW
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead By Daylight
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf NEW
Deployment
Desert Child
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread Templar
Dread X Collection
Dreamscaper NEW
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity NEW
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game (X2)
Frog Detective 1 The Haunted Island (X2)
Full Throttle Remastered
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Genesis Noir
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Gotham Knights
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X2)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice NEW
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour NEW (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim
Hiveswap Friend Sim Complete
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth NEW
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent NEW
Inmost
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Jurassic World Evolution 2 NEW
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine NEW
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
LEGO Movie Videogame
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Love Is Dead
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mainlining
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown NEW
Monster Train Collectors Edition
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Mordhau
Mosaic
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
Mountain
My Lovely Daughter
Nairi Tower Of Shirin
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Niche
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Not Tonight
Numba Deluxe
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Pathfinder Wrath Of The Righteous
Pathologic 2
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe (X2)
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Playne The Meditation Game
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Relicta
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelation 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords NEW
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable NEW
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K NEW
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander NEW
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slay The Spire
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition (X2)
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before NEW
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Tannenberg
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club NEW
The Count Lucador
The Dark Pictures Anthology Little Hope
The Dark Pictures Anthology Man Of Medan
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant NEW
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
Them And Us NEW
There Is No Game Wrong Dimension
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tribes Of Midgard
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Ultra Street Fighter IV
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded NEW
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun (X2)
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage NEW
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Wandersong
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
West Of Dead
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin
XCOM Complete Pack
XCOM Ultimate Collection
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City NEW
Zombie Kill Of The Week Reborn
DONT TRY TO SEND A PM BEFORE YOU POST IN THIS TOPIC - WILL NOT DEAL WITH YOU!
2023.03.24 19:03 DeadHeart4 The funeral director is a huckster.
My mother died in the hospital on St Patrick's Day. The whole experience was traumatic and horrifying and I'm going to dress up as Batman and prowl every medical malpractice law office in the state screaming about the man who killed my mother until I get some resolution. But what I really need to get off my chest is my experience with the funeral director.
I'm 38, my older half sister and brother are 58 and 61. I lived with my mother most of my adult life. She had a very minor disability. We didn't get along all the time, but I enjoyed her company and was always happy to live with her.
My siblings have always lived their own lives and live out of state. When she was in the hospital, they both took time off to visit for a few days, but towards the end, it was me and her on our own. She passed, and they insisted on taking care of the funeral. I was very grateful. I'm a teacher... so I make a living wage, but... not as much as they do. Although I still think the honorable thing to do would be to pay them back with her small life insurance payout. They keep declining.
My sister found a local mortuary with good reviews. Within hours of her death, I was told arrangements had been made. The hospital had packed my mothers things and literally escorted me out of the ICU room. I spent the evening plotting revenge, crying, and being harassed by donor alliance.
Donor alliance called within an hour of her death and asked if they could take her skin. She was 80 years old. And her skin was trash. We have a body farm in town. I thought it would upset my brother if I agreed. I said no, she talked over me, insisting they were a non-profit organization, I said no again. She talked over me, saying my mother was on the donor list and it's what she would have wanted. I said no again, she talked over me and said that donation saves lives. My friend grabbed the phone and told them we were not interested in donation. She talked over my friend and said skin graphs could help burn patients. I said no two more times and hung up.
My sister flew out on Tuesday and we met with the funeral director. She said she found a place that does Direct Cremation for $747. I was suspicious - my sister didn't know that our county literally just had a whole fiasco where a different mortuary was sued into oblivion for selling chopped up body parts and giving people fake ashes - but I'm of the mind that the body isn't important after the soul moves on.
My brother is much more... sensitive about all of this stuff. Which is why I'm here, because I need to get this off my chest, but I don't want him to find out about the whole ordeal.
We go to the funeral home and spend 2.5 hours talking to the Funeral Director. He is a rambling old man who interrupts and talks over people. During the time we were there, he told us about his own health problems - from an early heart attack to some broken bones, he told us about all the restaurants in town he knew the owner of, stories about his granddaughter - he really just did not want to get down to business.
Finally, he asked for my sister's credit card and headed downstairs to take care of the bill. I assumed they had everything worked out. I wasn't privy to any of the arrangements. My sister noticed a hung certificate on the wall that had a different funeral service name and commented on it outloud. We were quietly chatting about that when he returned.
He returned and immediately said, "That's my OTHER funeral home. Yup, I have two. This is the cheaper option, in fact, I gave you a bunch of this home's discounts." Wink, wink.
He had run my sisters card and gave her a two page sheet of hand written expenses. It amounted to $2,100. He quickly, and confusedly, explained what some of the costs were: $250 for after hour pick up, $335 or $85 (he wasn't clear) on a credit card processing fee. My eyes bulged out, because that's not what I was expecting, but I didn't want know if that was what my sister agreed to or not. So I stayed quiet.
That was when he informed us that he did not own a crematorium. That his 'trusted' friend who goes to [The State Capital] all the time to help with this was going to take her to a crematorium in [State Capital] and then bring her back.
Ghoulish images of my mother sitting in the back of someone's truck, surrounded by Mcdonalds ice bags and twelve packs of cold beer danced in my head.
When we got home, my sister began to examine the bill.
Over the course of the next few days, he would call us incessantly. The bill had been paid, but he needed to approve of some things... like getting my brother to sign the cremation certificate, sometimes he'd just call us wanting to know if we had checked her obituary on their website and checked out the memory book they were selling of her. Long, rambling conversations. He became convinced that I was 'uncomfortable' handling the ashes, and wanted to check multiple times that it would be okay for me to pick them up... or he could express mail them to my sister. For a fee, no doubt.
I began to do research. I learned that funeral homes are required by the FTC to disclose all expenses during the arrangement meeting. It's called the Funeral Rule. No such diclosure had been made with my sister, she was just told she could do the $747 package.
I learned that it was illegal in our state to charge a credit card processing fee (but they could offer a cash discount and bake the processing fee into other things).
What the hell was this random $335 fee coming from? And why was the direct cremation quoted at 1,400-something. That was the price for his other funeral home, I figured out.
He told me that Donor Alliance wouldn't release the body until 11:30pm, and that's why we got charged an after hours fee. Because the hospital told him he "had" to pick it up. But I found out our hospital will hold a body for up to 48 hours for the family to make arrangements.
The reviews for his place were fine. Four stars. You had to REALLY dig to find the bad ones. But... if you checked his OTHER funeral home... that's where I found everything. "Fraud," "He fucked up the death certificate 3 times," "the hurst ran a red light and got in a fender bender with my dad in the back," "ships bodies to [state capital]."
My sister was horrified. Imagine a whole week of grieving with your mom's daughter occasionally going, "You must think I'm a moron, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have known."
I told her she couldn't have known. The reviews were good. How often did one person single handedly arrange a funeral? His website looks legit. There's a whole slew of online articles warning about things like this happening because it happens so often. It wasn't her fault.
He called us a few days ago to let us know our mom was in transport and would arrive at the crematorium in 15-20 minutes. I was journalling EVERYTHING. I asked him what the name was of the place she was being sent.
"Well, she isn't there yet. She'll be there in 15-20 minutes."
He was trying to Jedi mind trick me. These are not the droids you're looking for. "I asked WHAT IS THE NAME of the crematorium she's been sent to."
"It's called Encore, but you aren't allowed to call them. You only talk to ME." He insisted. "You can ONLY talk to me. I am your point of contact. You can't contact them."
I was convinced his friend was parked outside someone's funeral home, waiting for the lights to go out, so he could slither in and dump 12 bodies into their incinerator.
My sister sent an e-mail with a screenshot of the package she purchased and a request for an itemized list.
For once, he did not call us right away. We called him the next day, but he said he was at lunch and would call us back. He called us around 6:00 that night.
My sister talked for a bit, but he rolled over her, so I grabbed the phone. I told him that we needed an itemized list of the expenses, as required by FTC law. He said they never discussed a exact amount. I told him my sister got the "Direct Cremation, Urn, and Cremation Service - COMPLETE" package for $747.
He told me that that package was a deal meant for veterans, and I must have read the website wrong.
I went to the website. All of his prices and funeral packages had been erased. The page was blank.
Luckily, we had the screenshot from earlier. And I used the wayback machine to capture a cache image of that page stating exactly what I was talking about. There were no veteran discounts offered on his site.
I told him that he couldn't charge us a credit card processing fee. It was illegal in our state. He said he'd wave it, but wanted me to admit that he spent almost 3 hours talking to us, and wasn't his time wroth money? Every time I tried to talk, he'd shout over me that wasn't his time worth money? Hadn't he treated us with respect? I was going to give him a heart attack, did I want to be responsible for giving him a heart attack?
I told him I didn't know that him talking about the local Mexican restaurant he likes was part of his billable hours.
Then I told him I was going to report him to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and The Funeral Consumers Alliance and my state Attorney General if he did not give us an itemized list of expenses. Or I tried to, he was shouting over me that he was a human being and that he had to pay his employees a fair wage, and did I know what the definition of 'over time' was?
My sister and I had agreed to pay for the $747 package, the $250 after hour fee, and the cost of the death certificates. I prepared to make that offer if he continued to interrupt me and NOT give us an itemized list.
After screaming at us for 47 minutes - we're a one party state, so I was recording the conversation on my laptop - he said, "I'll tell you what. Because I'm such a good person, I'll refund you half of the bill." I did the math, repeated the date several times for my recording, and agreed. Half of the bill was the amount I was going to counter with. So...
We have to meet him in a few hours to get a cashiers check (OH BOY!) for the refund. Wish me luck.
submitted by DeadHeart4 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I'm 38, my older half sister and brother are 58 and 61. I lived with my mother most of my adult life. She had a very minor disability. We didn't get along all the time, but I enjoyed her company and was always happy to live with her.
My siblings have always lived their own lives and live out of state. When she was in the hospital, they both took time off to visit for a few days, but towards the end, it was me and her on our own. She passed, and they insisted on taking care of the funeral. I was very grateful. I'm a teacher... so I make a living wage, but... not as much as they do. Although I still think the honorable thing to do would be to pay them back with her small life insurance payout. They keep declining.
My sister found a local mortuary with good reviews. Within hours of her death, I was told arrangements had been made. The hospital had packed my mothers things and literally escorted me out of the ICU room. I spent the evening plotting revenge, crying, and being harassed by donor alliance.
Donor alliance called within an hour of her death and asked if they could take her skin. She was 80 years old. And her skin was trash. We have a body farm in town. I thought it would upset my brother if I agreed. I said no, she talked over me, insisting they were a non-profit organization, I said no again. She talked over me, saying my mother was on the donor list and it's what she would have wanted. I said no again, she talked over me and said that donation saves lives. My friend grabbed the phone and told them we were not interested in donation. She talked over my friend and said skin graphs could help burn patients. I said no two more times and hung up.
My sister flew out on Tuesday and we met with the funeral director. She said she found a place that does Direct Cremation for $747. I was suspicious - my sister didn't know that our county literally just had a whole fiasco where a different mortuary was sued into oblivion for selling chopped up body parts and giving people fake ashes - but I'm of the mind that the body isn't important after the soul moves on.
My brother is much more... sensitive about all of this stuff. Which is why I'm here, because I need to get this off my chest, but I don't want him to find out about the whole ordeal.
We go to the funeral home and spend 2.5 hours talking to the Funeral Director. He is a rambling old man who interrupts and talks over people. During the time we were there, he told us about his own health problems - from an early heart attack to some broken bones, he told us about all the restaurants in town he knew the owner of, stories about his granddaughter - he really just did not want to get down to business.
Finally, he asked for my sister's credit card and headed downstairs to take care of the bill. I assumed they had everything worked out. I wasn't privy to any of the arrangements. My sister noticed a hung certificate on the wall that had a different funeral service name and commented on it outloud. We were quietly chatting about that when he returned.
He returned and immediately said, "That's my OTHER funeral home. Yup, I have two. This is the cheaper option, in fact, I gave you a bunch of this home's discounts." Wink, wink.
He had run my sisters card and gave her a two page sheet of hand written expenses. It amounted to $2,100. He quickly, and confusedly, explained what some of the costs were: $250 for after hour pick up, $335 or $85 (he wasn't clear) on a credit card processing fee. My eyes bulged out, because that's not what I was expecting, but I didn't want know if that was what my sister agreed to or not. So I stayed quiet.
That was when he informed us that he did not own a crematorium. That his 'trusted' friend who goes to [The State Capital] all the time to help with this was going to take her to a crematorium in [State Capital] and then bring her back.
Ghoulish images of my mother sitting in the back of someone's truck, surrounded by Mcdonalds ice bags and twelve packs of cold beer danced in my head.
When we got home, my sister began to examine the bill.
Over the course of the next few days, he would call us incessantly. The bill had been paid, but he needed to approve of some things... like getting my brother to sign the cremation certificate, sometimes he'd just call us wanting to know if we had checked her obituary on their website and checked out the memory book they were selling of her. Long, rambling conversations. He became convinced that I was 'uncomfortable' handling the ashes, and wanted to check multiple times that it would be okay for me to pick them up... or he could express mail them to my sister. For a fee, no doubt.
I began to do research. I learned that funeral homes are required by the FTC to disclose all expenses during the arrangement meeting. It's called the Funeral Rule. No such diclosure had been made with my sister, she was just told she could do the $747 package.
I learned that it was illegal in our state to charge a credit card processing fee (but they could offer a cash discount and bake the processing fee into other things).
What the hell was this random $335 fee coming from? And why was the direct cremation quoted at 1,400-something. That was the price for his other funeral home, I figured out.
He told me that Donor Alliance wouldn't release the body until 11:30pm, and that's why we got charged an after hours fee. Because the hospital told him he "had" to pick it up. But I found out our hospital will hold a body for up to 48 hours for the family to make arrangements.
The reviews for his place were fine. Four stars. You had to REALLY dig to find the bad ones. But... if you checked his OTHER funeral home... that's where I found everything. "Fraud," "He fucked up the death certificate 3 times," "the hurst ran a red light and got in a fender bender with my dad in the back," "ships bodies to [state capital]."
My sister was horrified. Imagine a whole week of grieving with your mom's daughter occasionally going, "You must think I'm a moron, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have known."
I told her she couldn't have known. The reviews were good. How often did one person single handedly arrange a funeral? His website looks legit. There's a whole slew of online articles warning about things like this happening because it happens so often. It wasn't her fault.
He called us a few days ago to let us know our mom was in transport and would arrive at the crematorium in 15-20 minutes. I was journalling EVERYTHING. I asked him what the name was of the place she was being sent.
"Well, she isn't there yet. She'll be there in 15-20 minutes."
He was trying to Jedi mind trick me. These are not the droids you're looking for. "I asked WHAT IS THE NAME of the crematorium she's been sent to."
"It's called Encore, but you aren't allowed to call them. You only talk to ME." He insisted. "You can ONLY talk to me. I am your point of contact. You can't contact them."
I was convinced his friend was parked outside someone's funeral home, waiting for the lights to go out, so he could slither in and dump 12 bodies into their incinerator.
My sister sent an e-mail with a screenshot of the package she purchased and a request for an itemized list.
For once, he did not call us right away. We called him the next day, but he said he was at lunch and would call us back. He called us around 6:00 that night.
My sister talked for a bit, but he rolled over her, so I grabbed the phone. I told him that we needed an itemized list of the expenses, as required by FTC law. He said they never discussed a exact amount. I told him my sister got the "Direct Cremation, Urn, and Cremation Service - COMPLETE" package for $747.
He told me that that package was a deal meant for veterans, and I must have read the website wrong.
I went to the website. All of his prices and funeral packages had been erased. The page was blank.
Luckily, we had the screenshot from earlier. And I used the wayback machine to capture a cache image of that page stating exactly what I was talking about. There were no veteran discounts offered on his site.
I told him that he couldn't charge us a credit card processing fee. It was illegal in our state. He said he'd wave it, but wanted me to admit that he spent almost 3 hours talking to us, and wasn't his time wroth money? Every time I tried to talk, he'd shout over me that wasn't his time worth money? Hadn't he treated us with respect? I was going to give him a heart attack, did I want to be responsible for giving him a heart attack?
I told him I didn't know that him talking about the local Mexican restaurant he likes was part of his billable hours.
Then I told him I was going to report him to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and The Funeral Consumers Alliance and my state Attorney General if he did not give us an itemized list of expenses. Or I tried to, he was shouting over me that he was a human being and that he had to pay his employees a fair wage, and did I know what the definition of 'over time' was?
My sister and I had agreed to pay for the $747 package, the $250 after hour fee, and the cost of the death certificates. I prepared to make that offer if he continued to interrupt me and NOT give us an itemized list.
After screaming at us for 47 minutes - we're a one party state, so I was recording the conversation on my laptop - he said, "I'll tell you what. Because I'm such a good person, I'll refund you half of the bill." I did the math, repeated the date several times for my recording, and agreed. Half of the bill was the amount I was going to counter with. So...
We have to meet him in a few hours to get a cashiers check (OH BOY!) for the refund. Wish me luck.
2023.03.18 00:53 nightshadetwine Perfection, completion, justification, and purification through initiation in Paul and John.
"John’s Counter-Symposium: 'The Continuation of Dialogue' in Christianity—A Contrapuntal Reading of John’s Gospel and Plato’s Symposium" by George van Kooten (Brill, 2019):
1 Corinthians 15:
Death and Salvation in Ancient Egypt (Cornell University Press, 2005), Jan Assmann:
"The Baptismal Raising of Lazarus: A New Interpretation of John 11", Bernhard Lang, Novum Testamentum 58 (2016):
Dionysos (Routledge, 2006), Richard Seaford:
Death and the Afterlife in Ancient Egypt (British Museum Press, 2001), John H. Taylor:
submitted by nightshadetwine to HistoricOrMythicJesus [link] [comments]
Apart from the intermediary character and duality of love, Diotima’s speech also brings out another aspect of love that is echoed in John’s Gospel, namely the colouring of love in the tones of initiation into the mysteries. According to Diotima, the successive stages of spiritual generation constitute a progressive initiation into the mysteries, an initiation that takes the form of a gradual ascent on “the ladder of love,” from physical love to spiritual love, at the end of which—as we shall see shortly—awaits the full attainment of purity, contemplation of the divine unity, truth, and immortality. With an allusion to the difference between lower and higher mysteries in the contemporary mystery cults, the higher levels of this ladder are seen as “the final perfection (i.e., initiation, τὰ τέλεα) and full vision”—that is, “the highest mysteries”...Among the Gentiles Greco-Roman Religion and Christianity (Yale University Press, 2009), Luke Timothy Johnson:
The mystery cults Plato refers to here are most likely the mystery cults that were especially well known in Athens: the Eleusinian mysteries at Eleusis, one of the demes of Athens, ca. 21 kilometres west of Athens and connected with it via “the Sacred Way” (Pausanias, Description of Greece 1.36.3), with its sanctuary of Demeter and Persephone/Kore, which was the center of—as Kevin Clinton concisely puts it—“the annual festival of the mysteries, which attracted initiates from the entire Greek-speaking world.” As I will now indicate, this language of “perfection” and “vision,” as expressed in the phrase τὰ τέλεα καὶ ἐποπτικά (“the final perfection and full vision”) and denoting “the highest mysteries,” is also present in John’s Gospel. Firstly, with regard to the language of perfection, in his final prayer at the conclusion of the last symposium, Jesus states his intention to his divine Father, that his pupils “will be perfected into one” by experiencing the same divine love that the Father has for Jesus... As those who ascend the ladder of love in Plato’s Symposium become perfected—that is, initiated into the mysteries—so the pupils at the last symposium are also perfected into one, and into the divine love...
In the Johannine corpus, all of these instances—of a perfecting into one that conveys the experience of comprehensive divine love, and of the perfection of divine love in those who love—seem to resonate with the notion of perfection through initiation into the higher mysteries of love on the ladder of love. This combination of perfection and love is altogether absent from the Synoptic Gospels. Is it a coincidence that Lazarus, who is described to Jesus as “him whom you love” (11:3), is also ambiguously described as “the one who has finished” (ὁ τετελευτηκώς; 11:39)—meaning “the one who has finished life, who has died,” “the deceased”—but, in a sense, only apparently so, because he “has fallen asleep” and needs to be awoken from his sleep, as Jesus says (11:11–14), and thus seems to be the one who is initiated into death and resurrection? Hence the beloved pupil (inasmuch as he seems to be identical with Lazarus) is not expected to die again (21:21–23), and he is also the first who, seemingly from his own experience (if he is indeed identical with Lazarus), understands upon seeing the empty tomb (and especially because he notices the separate position of the σουδάριον, the facial covering that he himself had worn when he walked out of his tomb; 20:7, cf. 11:44) that Jesus has been brought to life again (20:8). Consequently, there seems to be a wordplay between “being perfected” or “initiated” (τετελειωμένος; 17:23) and “having finished” or “died” (τετελευτηκώς; 11:39), between τελειόω and τελευτάω.
A similar wordplay between τέλειος / τέλεος (“perfect,” “initiated”), τελευτάω (“to finish,” “to come to an end”), and τὸ τέλος (“the end”) is made in Diotima’s speech, as the final perfection (τὰ τέλεα; 210a) and full vision of the highest mysteries consist in the fact that those who are initiated into them and ascend the ladder of love “end” their former forms of knowledge and love, “come to an end,” “issue in,” and are thus fully initiated into the highest form of knowledge and love, which focuses on the very essence of beauty itself... A similarly playful combination of cognate forms such as τελέω, τελειόω, τελευτάω, and τὸ τέλος also occurs in the Gospel of John, not only with regard to the pupils who are perfected and initiated into one, and with regard to Lazarus, but also with respect to Jesus himself: he loves his pupils “till the end” (εἰς τέλος), as the author notes in his description of the last symposium (13:1), and it is at this symposium that he talks about his pupils’ perfection and initiation into one (17:23) before he finishes his life by exclaiming, again in marked difference from the Synoptic Gospels: “It has been finished, it has been perfected” (Τετέλεσται; 19:30). Both Lazarus’s and Jesus’s deaths are described in the ambiguous terminology of finishing, perfection, and initiation, and thus understood as initiations into a death that is followed by a resurrection, just as in the mystery religions. It seems that Jesus’s final exclamation, “It has been finished” (Τετέλεσται), signals the end of such an initiation, thus putting the event of his death on a par with the place of initiation at the Eleusinian mysteries, which—as becomes clear in Plutarch’s description of the building of the Eleusinian sanctuary—is called a τελεστήριον, a place for initiation...
This is by no means the only allusion to the Eleusinian mysteries in John’s Gospel. Just before his death, at the beginning of the last festival that he attends in the Jerusalem temple, it is the very Greeks who wish to see Jesus whom he answers with a reference to his approaching death, cast in a hidden allusion to the Eleusinain mysteries, which revolve around the contemplation of an ear of wheat that was seen as the fruit of the resurrection of Aphrodite/ Kore:56 “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (12:24)... What the Gospel of John reveals is that its author follows Diotima’s speech even in its use of initiation terminology and its reference to the Eleusinian mysteries. Whereas the annual festival of the Eleusinian mysteries at the τελεστήριον of the sanctuary of Demeter and Persephone/Kore at Athens attracted religious seekers from the entire Greek-speaking world, the author of John’s Gospel mirrors and inverts this festival in the annual Passover festival at the Jerusalem temple, which is visited by Greeks who seek Jesus and see the Eleusinian mysteries accomplished in him, whose very body is a temple (2:19–21) and a place of initiation (τελεστήριον; 19:30).
Two cultic activities of early assemblies would easily be recognized by members of Greco-Roman religious associations. The first was baptism, the ritual of initiation that marked entry into the community. As an initiatory ritual, it was notable primarily for its simplicity and its singularity; in the Mysteries, initiations tended to be complex and multiple. For Jewish believers, baptismal washing for males would represent an addition to the Jewish ritual of circumcision; for Gentile converts, baptism replaced circumcision (Col 2:11-12)-a circumstance that also could be the occasion for conflict. The second cultic activity was the meal. Some version of "breaking bread in houses" (Acts 2:42, 46) that Paul calls the "Lord's Banquet" (kyriakon deipnon; 1 Cor 11:20) was celebrated in the gathered assembly, probably on the day of resurrection, the first day of the week (1 Cor 16:2; see Rev 1:10). The rituals of initiation and meals were occasions for enacting the presence of the risen Lord in the assembly and for remembering the words and deeds of Jesus in the context of his continuing powerful presence... As he reports the risen Lord saying to him when Paul asked to be freed from the stake in his flesh, "My grace [charis-that is, "benefit"] is sufficient for you, for [my] power [dynamis] is brought to perfection [teleitai] in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9). ...Mystery Cults, Theatre and Athenian Politics: A Reading of Euripides' Bacchae and Aristophanes' Frogs (Bloomsbury Academic, 2023), Luigi Barzini:
Paul's response to those Colossians who, after their baptism into Christ, pursued further "perfection" or "maturity" through circumcision, asceticism, and visions-all instinctive to Religiousness A as found in Greco-Roman religion makes the role of thinking even more explicit. Their maturity does not result from adding on but from digging deeper. Paul wants them to be filled with "recognition of [God's] will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding" (Col 1:9). To what end? That they might "walk worthily of the Lord in everything pleasing, bearing fruit in every good deed and growing in the recognition of God" (1:10). Paul connects this growth in knowledge and in moral behavior precisely with the divine dynamis in which they had become participants... Paul again argues morally from their religious experience of baptism, in which they were "buried together with him" and were "raised with him" through faith (Col 2:12). If then they died with Christ (2:20) and if they were raised with him (3:1), that ritual pattern should determine their moral behavior: they should put to death all modes of vice and "put on" the new humanity, resisting all impulses that drive them to rivalry and competition and instead showing toward each other the same compassion that was shown them (3:12-13). And over all these, Paul says, they should put on agape, which is the bond of perfection (teleiotetos, or maturity)... Paul's language of "perfection" echoes that used for the Mysteries; see Phil 1:6; p2; Gal 3=3; 2 Cor 8:6, 11; Rom 15:28; and R. S. Ascough, "The Completion of a Religious Duty: The Background of 2 Cor 8:1-15," New Testament Studies 42 (1996): 584-599.
Initiation (τελετή) from τελεῖν (accomplish, finish), originally meant ‘accomplishment’, ‘performance’. The term is characteristically used to denote initiation in the mysteries, and in plural to mystic rites practised at initiation, such as the festival accompanied by mystic rites. This term covers a wide semantic field. Meanings include ‘initiation in the mysteries’ but also ‘accomplishment’, ‘fulfilment’, ‘perfection’ and ‘completion’, terms that express the spiritual weight that mystery initiation had for the Greeks in terms of the spiritual state of the individual.As I've mentioned before, Greco-Roman initiation rituals seem to be influenced by the Egyptian mortuary ritual. Diodorus Siculus in his Library of Histories (1.96.4–6) says:
Orpheus, for instance, brought from Egypt most of his mystic ceremonies, the orgiastic rites that accompanied his wanderings, and his fabulous account of his experiences in Hades. [...] and the punishments in Hades of the unrighteous, the Fields of the Righteous, and the fantastic conceptions, current among the many, which are figments of the imagination – all these were introduced by Orpheus in imitation of the Egyptian funeral customs.You also find this concept of "perfection" and "completion" in the Egyptian mortuary ritual. For Paul, the concept of "perfection" is related to morality. Paul also says that the perishable must put on imperishability.
1 Corinthians 15:
For this perishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When this perishable body puts on imperishability and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law."Death and Salvation in Ancient Egypt (Cornell University Press, 2005), Jan Assmann:
The Egyptians wanted to overcome death in both kinds of time, and to do this, they relied on both Re and Osiris... To achieve this goal of Osirian continuation, they needed embalming, mummification, and, above all, the Judgment of the Dead. The concept of completion/perfection, Egyptian nfrw, not only had connotations of beauty, perfection, and imperishability but also, and above all, connotations of virtue and righteousness, of moral perfection and conformance with the norms of maat. From djet-time, there arose a moral perspective. Only good could continue unchangeably; evil, bad, uncleanliness, and imperfection were given over to perishability. The moral qualities of a result, that is, its conformance to maat, decided its imperishability... The Judgment of the Dead represented an extreme spiritualizing and ethicizing of the mythical concept of vindicating the deceased against death... The guilt of the deceased was that which stood in the way of his transformation into the eternal form of a “transfigured ancestral spirit.” It was the Egyptian form of the Pauline concept, “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23)... He who is vindicated in the Judgment of the Dead will “stride freely like the lords of eternity,” he will be accepted among the gods. He will thus not only enjoy continuance on earth but also immortality in the next world... This was the moment when the process of life turned into the unchangeable and indestructible permanence of Wennefer [= Osiris], the “completed lasting one”... There is good reason to think that ancient Egyptian burial customs lived on in the Hellenistic Isis mysteries, though in the latter case, they were enacted and interpreted not as a burial of the deceased but as an initiation of the living..."Death and Initiation in the Funerary Religion of Ancient Egypt", Jan Assmann in Religion and Philosophy in Ancient Egypt, Yale Egyptological Studies 3, 1989:
The embalming process, to which it refers, is related to the topic of initiation in manifold ways. It is conceived not so much as a preservation of the corpse, but rather as its transfiguration to a new body: one "filled with magic," the perishable substances of which have been replaced by everlasting ones, resting in the mummy-cover as if it were a kind of magic garment.In 1 Corinthians 15 Paul also says:
But someone will ask, “How are the dead raised? With what kind of body do they come?” Fool! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. And as for what you sow, you do not sow the body that is to be but a bare seed, perhaps of wheat or of some other grain... What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown a physical body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a physical body, there is also a spiritual body.Mummies & Magic: The Funerary Arts of Ancient Egypt (Dallas Museum of Art, 1993), Sue D'Auria and Peter Lacovara::
The underlying idea was that life can only exist, be renewed, and be regained through death. Not only human beings, but also such gods as Re and Osiris were mortal: They had life in the sense that they had died and arisen from the dead... Akh is usually translated as “spirit” but its corporeal aspect should not be neglected. A bodily spirit or spiritual body may seem a contradiction in terms, but it is not unknown in religious, or at least Christian, terminology: If there is a physical body, there is also a spiritual body.In both Paul and John the planting and sprouting of a seed is used as a metaphor for resurrection which you also find in the Egyptian mortuary cult and the mystery cults. In John 12:24 Jesus says:
“unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit”Ancient Egyptian Magic (William Morrow Paperbacks, 1998), Bob Brier:
One of the most interesting magical objects in this room was a wooden mold in the shape of Osiris. This mold was lined with linen and filled with rich topsoil deposited by the Nile. Seeds, mostly for grain, were planted in the topsoil. When they sprouted, they would be a green, living representation for Osiris, symbolizing resurrection. Tutankhamen had sought to identify himself with Osiris in that way and bring about his resurrection.All Things Ancient Egypt: An Encyclopedia of the Ancient Egyptian World (ABC-CLIO, 2019), Lisa K. Sabbahy:
Osiris beds were placed in tombs. These consisted of a hollow frame in the shape of the mummiform Osiris that was filled with earth in which seeds were sown. These would have then grown after the tomb was sealed, actualizing the resurrection of Osiris and, hence, that of the deceased.Another important aspect of the Egyptian mortuary ritual is "justification". In Romans 5 Paul says:
Results of Justification:Following Osiris: Perspectives on the Osirian Afterlife from Four Millennia (Oxford University Press, 2017), Mark Smith:
Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God... Much more surely, therefore, since we have now been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from the wrath of God... Therefore just as one man’s trespass led to condemnation for all, so one man’s act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all... But law came in, so that the trespass might increase, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so grace might also reign through justification leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
In the same way that Osiris was restored to life and declared free of wrongdoing, so all who died hoped to be revived and justified... As in earlier periods, those who passed the test of judgement were declared ‘justified' and accepted into the following of Osiris... In the same way that justification and acceptance into the company of Osiris’s followers offered a means of social reintegration for those whom death had cut off from friends and relations, the mummification rites restored the physical integrity of their bodies, transfiguring them and endowing them with a new eternal form... the concepts of mummification and justification were closely linked..."Death and Initiation in the Funerary Religion of Ancient Egypt", Jan Assmann in Religion and Philosophy in Ancient Egypt, Yale Egyptological Studies 3, 1989:
"Justification" is the central concept of Egyptian funerary religion in which all aspects of the "overcoming of death" and of salvation in the next world come together... The deceased must justify himself: with respect to the enemy (as the personification of death)... with respect to the divine prosecutor and judge, in whose presence the deceased must answer for his conduct on earth and prove himself worthy of eternal salvation...In Romans 6 Pauls says:
Do you not know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? Therefore we were buried with him by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we also might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him... For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.So in baptism Christians are symbolically crucified with Christ and raised to new life like Christ. In the Egyptian mortuary ritual Egyptians were first purified with water and then symbolically dismembered like Osiris and raised to new life like Osiris.
Death and Salvation in Ancient Egypt (Cornell University Press, 2005), Jan Assmann:
We now understand why the embalming ritual had to portray the corpse not just as a lifeless body but as a dismembered one... The myth dramatized this condition, telling how Seth slew his brother Osiris, tore his body into pieces, and scattered his limbs throughout all of Egypt. In the embalming ritual, this myth was played out for each deceased person, even if he had in no way been killed and dismembered but rather had died a peaceful, natural death... This first phase was carried out in the name of purification. Everything “foul,” that is, everything perishable that could represent a danger to the goal of achieving an eternal form, was removed from the body. For this reason, in the few representations of the embalming ritual, this phase is represented as a purifying bath. The corpse lay “on” (that is, in) a basin, and water was poured over it. The Egyptian word for such a basin is Sj, “lake,” and such a “lake” is mentioned repeatedly in the accompanying spells, some of which we shall cite in chapter 5... In Egyptian mortuary belief, Osiris was the prototype of every deceased individual. Everyone would become Osiris in death and be endowed with life by Isis... As Osiris, the deceased was fully vindicated against Seth, that is, death, in this lawsuit... The ordinary deceased was a follower of Osiris, was called Osiris and compared to him, and became a member of his following. He came into possession not only of life but also of personal status and recognition. He bore the name of the god, along with his own titles and his personal name, as well as the epithet “justified/vindicated.” He smote Seth, which meant that he had conquered death... Guilt, accusation, enmity, and so forth are treated as forms of impurity and decay—as, so to say, immaterial but harmful substances—that must be eliminated so as to transpose the deceased into a condition of purity that can withstand decay and dissolution. Vindication was moral mummification... He was vindicated against all accusations and absolved of any and all guilt, of any sin that could hinder his transition into the next lifeAblution, Initiation, and Baptism Late Antiquity, Early Judaism (Walter de Gruyter, 2011), David Hellholm, Tor Vegge, Oyvind Norderval, Christer Hellholm:
The ritual is said to have cleansed the ritual participants from the state of being that existed prior to the ritual. By means of the ritual they have acquired a state of purity categorically different from the one that characterised their previous state of being, i.e. they have been transferred from a state of impurity to a state of purity. It is certainly not coincidental that the cleansing metaphor precedes the next two metaphors which serve to make it clear to the recipients that the Corinthian Christ-believers have been initiated into a new form of being. They have not only been set apart from the world which is ultimately what the metaphor of sanctification implies but due to their justification in the name of the Lord Jesus and by means of the spirit of God they have also entered into a new legal state before God, i.e. they have been justified or acquitted of their previous guilt. In order to obtain justification, however, it is essential that the ritual participants have been transferred to a state in which they have been made ritually prepared for the acquisition of the justification. We do not need to enter into the discussion whether Paul in 1 Cor 6:11 is quoting from a pre-Pauline tradition or not. It suffices to note that in one of the earliest strands of what later became known as Christianity we find an amalgamation of elements pertaining to rituals of purification as well as rituals of initiation. Apparently, the two do not exclude each other... In fact I will argue that a ritual of initiation cannot be separated from the element of cleansing irrespective of whether that element is merely present in the form of a metaphorical formulation or as an independent, preparatory rite of purification... Although a rite of purification may not be part of the ritual of initiation per se, it does play a prominent role in the preparatory rites that precede Lucius’ initiation into the mysteries of Isis as recounted in the eleventh book of the Metamorphoses or The Golden Ass by Apuleius... It is a prevalent phenomenon frequently found in connection with rituals of initiation that a rite of cleansing or purification is somehow related to it.A Journey Through the Beyond: The Development of the Concept of Duat and Related Cosmological Notions in Egyptian Funerary Literature (ISD LLC, Feb 1, 2022), Silvia Zago:
Moreover, at least some of these passages mentioning the lake(s) of the Duat associate these with the sun and the eastern horizon, near which such lakes may have been imagined to be located. In virtue of this connection, the Duat may be surmised to assume the connotation of a liminal, transitional place, where the sun and the king get cleansed before being ready to reappear on the horizon every morning and to rise in the sky. Ultimately, (ritual) purity was a necessary condition for being reborn, and for this reason it is often connected with the notion of the (initiatory) journey of the deceased through the Duat. The association between Osiris and water in a context of purification, renewal, and rebirth also had a long tradition in ancient Egyptian (funerary) literature...In John, Lazarus is mourned by two sisters, is said to be "asleep" but will be awakened, and is bound with strips of cloth similar to a mummy. John 11:
Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. Mary was the one who anointed the Lord with perfume and wiped his feet with her hair; her brother Lazarus was ill... After saying this, he told them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to awaken him.” The disciples said to him, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will be all right.” Jesus, however, had been speaking about his death, but they thought that he was referring merely to sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. For your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” Thomas, who was called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days... he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”In the Egyptian mortuary ritual there are two sisters who mourn Osiris, Osiris is said to be "asleep" but will be awakened, and he is wrapped as a mummy.
"The Baptismal Raising of Lazarus: A New Interpretation of John 11", Bernhard Lang, Novum Testamentum 58 (2016):
Though well hidden, the theme of baptism informs the whole story of the raising of Lazarus (John 11)... Ritually, the person being baptised is pushed into the realm of death, so that he can emerge to a new life... Unfortunately, our ancient sources on mystery religions tell us very little about how the “second birth” was ritually staged, for initiates were required to remain silent about it. Nevertheless, some hints found in ancient sources give an indication. The magic papyrus of Paris provides a good example. Around eleven o’clock in the morning and in the presence of the magician, the candidate is supposed to mount the roof of a house and spread out a piece of cloth. Naked he places himself upon it. His eyes are blindfolded, the entire body wrapped like a mummy... When this occurs, possibly in the form of a draught of air felt by the candidate, the latter stands up. He dons a white garment, burns incense and again utters a spell. The rites completed, he descends from the roof. Now he knows that he has acquired immortality. Similar rites and symbolic representations of death and resurrection can be found in all ancient mystery cults. “When the candidate of the mysteries of Isis applies for initiation, he chooses the ritual death in order to gain true life,” explains Reinhold Merkelbach. In fact, according to the ancients, each initiation ritual involves the death of the old and the birth of a new person; there are no exceptions. Early-Christian baptism divides the lives of those baptised in a sequence of three phases. In the first phase, the human being is enslaved to sin and the world. The second phase means death: the baptismal candidate is killed—symbolically, but not actually drowned by being forced under water. This “drowning” is the actual rite of baptism.The Ancient Egyptian Pyramid Texts (SBL Press; Second edition, 2015), James P. Allen:
Recitation 194: This Teti’s sister (Wadjet), the Lady of Pe, is the one who cried for him, and the two attendants, (Isis and Nephthys), who mourned Osiris have mourned him... Recitation 526: Raise yourself, clear away your dust, remove the shroud on your face. Loosen your ties...The Mortuary Papyrus of Padikakem Walters Art Museum 551 (ISD LLC, 2011), Yekaterina Barbash:
Both compositions of papyrus W551 are mortuary in character and address Osiris or the deceased associated with him... Thus while section 1 contains earthly expressions of love and mourning for the deceased, section 2 deals with his transition to a new state of being in the hereafter. The sequence of the texts corresponds with the Egyptian perception of death, i.e., the deceased is gradually transformed after death, from this world to the sphere of the divine... The two goddesses, Isis and Nephthys, refer to death from the viewpoint of the living, uncovering their human emotions, as they recall their love for Osiris and grieve for him... the myth of Osiris, Horus, and Seth is evoked in spell 10 of PW 551:"The Great One (=Osiris) awakens, The Great One wakes up. Osiris raised himself on his side, the One who hates sleep (i.e., death), one who does not love weariness. The god stands, being powerful of his body. Horus has lifted him up, he's raised in Nedit."... In the s3hw as well as in other mortuary texts such as the BR, the transformation into an akh occurs by means of association of the deceased with the god Osiris and his incorporation into the sphere of the divine... Isis and Nephthys perform the widest range of tasks for the deceased Osiris, including purification, protection, and reassembling. At the same time, the two sisters act as they do in the lamentations, mourning and "glorifying" Osiris...Adoration of the Ram: Five Hymns to Amun-Re from Hibis Temple (Yale Egyptological Seminar, 2006), David Klotz:
Rather, the true meaning goes back to the Pyramid Text originals, where the deceased Osiris/King is asked to “wake up” (viz. “resurrect himself ”), a common theme in mortuary spells. As Griffiths has noted, “death is really only a sleep, then, a phase of tiredness,” while in the same vein sleep was considered a death-like state. Thus the term rs (“awake”) could refer as easily to resurrection from death as to physical awakening from sleep, since the two states were conceptually synonymous.The Search for God in Ancient Egypt (Cornell University Press, 2001), Jan Assmann:
Both spells proceed from the situation of the deceased lying on his bier, and both set it in the light of a mythic situation or an event in the divine realm: the discovery of Osiris, who has been slain by his brother Seth. The mythic explanation facilitates action; in spell 532, the action of the mourning women, who bewail the deceased as Isis and Nephthys, embalm and awaken him... Death is not an end, but the beginning of the funerary rites, and thus it is also the beginning of the story that explains these rites... The Osiris myth overcomes the experience of death by according this apparently catastrophic and hopeless situation an orientation in which it becomes meaningful to say to the deceased: "Arise!" "Stand up!" "Lift yourself!"—called out to the deceased as he lies stretched out, these exhortations constitute a common element shared by the two texts. They occur in a hundred other spells of the Pyramid Texts, and in later funerary literature, they are expanded into lengthy recitations and litanies that make a refrain of them, consistently addressing them to the deceased lying on the bier or to Osiris... We can summarize all these recitations, from the Pyramid Texts through the latest Osirian mysteries, as a genre of "raise-yourself spells."... Addressed to the deceased lying inert, the spells say, "Raise yourself!" on various mythic grounds. Their function is to raise the dead...Death and Salvation in Ancient Egypt (Cornell University Press, 2005), Jan Assmann:
“Salvation” and “eternal life” are Christian concepts, and we might think that the Egyptian myth can all too easily be viewed through the lens of Christian tradition. Quite the contrary, in my opinion, Christian myth is itself thoroughly stamped by Egyptian tradition, by the myth of Isis and Osiris, which from the very beginning had to do with salvation and eternal life. It thus seems legitimate to me to reconstruct the Egyptian symbolism with the help of Christian concepts. As with Orpheus and Eurydice, the constellation of Isis and Osiris can also be compared with Mary and Jesus. The scene of the Pietà, in which Mary holds the corpse of the crucified Jesus on her lap and mourns, is a comparable depiction of the body centered intensity of female grief, in which Mary is assisted by Mary Magdalene, just as Isis is assisted by Nephthys.Lamentation and mourning seem to be common in mystery cults. The mourning women seem to always play a role in anointing, purifying, and protecting the deceased's body.
Dionysos (Routledge, 2006), Richard Seaford:
There is considerable evidence (albeit much of it from late antiquity) for lamentation in mystery-cult, sometimes for the deity. The dismemberment of Dionysos was associated with – or perhaps in some way enacted in – his mystery-cult: we know this mainly from late texts, but there is evidence that the myth was known in the archaic and classical periods, and in view of our vase-painting of maenads attending the head (mask) of Dionysos in the liknon, it is possible that in the fifth century BC maenads in mystery-cult lamented the death of Dionysos. And given the importance of Dionysiac cult – and specifically of mystery-cult performed by the thiasos – in the genesis of Athenian tragedy, it is not unlikely that the centrality of lamentation for an individual in tragedy derives in part from maenadic lamentation...Mummies & Magic: The Funerary Arts of Ancient Egypt (Dallas Museum of Art, 1993), Sue D'Auria and Peter Lacovara:
The renewal, that mysterious process that Kristensen’ called life from death, came about outside the created world in the unfathomable depth and darkness of the primeval waters (Nun) that surround this world. It is in that mysterious space that the deceased could live again. One sun-hymn reads: "How beautiful is thy shining forth in the horizon We are in renewal of life. We have entered into Nun He has renovated (us) to one who is young for the first time The (one) has been stripped off, the other put on." The last sentence has been interpreted to mean, “The old man is cast off and the new man is put on.“ It may also call to mind the mummy-bandages that are thrown off in the decisive moment of resurrection and the white garments that the glorified dead wear in depictions of the Underworld... The process begins with mummification: “the evening is set aside for you with oils and wrapping in the arms of the Weaving-Goddess"... Mummy-bindings had to be removed at the moment of resurrection... The thoroughness with which the Egyptians are wrapped makes understandable such special prayers as the one written on a coffin in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, directing the goddess Isis to free the mummy from its wrappings at the moment of resurrection: “Ho my mother Isis, come that you may remove the bindings which are on me".So by entering the primordial waters the "old man is cast off and the new man is put on". This sounds very similar to how Paul describes baptism. The water purification during the mortuary ritual was associated with the primordial waters.
Death and the Afterlife in Ancient Egypt (British Museum Press, 2001), John H. Taylor:
The first stage was the purification of the corpse by washing... Cleansing of the corpse before mummification was doubtless a practical necessity, but the ritual aspects of the washing were perhaps of greater significance. According to Egyptian belief, water held important purifying and life giving qualities. Each dawn was a repetition of the original birth of the sun god from the watery chaos of Nun... Hence lustration came to be closely associated with rebirth...A ritual purification was necessary before the dead king could ascend to heaven in the manner of his divine model the sun god... In some of the Old Kingdom Pyramid Texts (5th to 6th Dynasties) the dead king is identified with Osiris, and thereby was believed to experience rebirth just as the murdered god had done.The Egyptian Book of the Dead: The Book of Going Forth by Day edited by Eva Von Dassow:
Every evening the aged sun entered the underworld and travelled through it, immersed in Nun, only to emerge at dawn as Khepri, the newborn sun. Thus, the waters of Nun had a rejuvenating, baptismal quality essential to rebirth.
2023.03.15 07:18 dualmindblade ChatGPT 4 explains Mitch Hedburg and writes standup
Follow up to this. I'm not 100% sure but I believe the new jokes are original, I spot checked with google. TLDR: Unlike Bing, this model nails all the explanations. It stumbles a couple times when trying to write similar jokes but does much better when I ask it to be more creative. It then writes some reasonable longer form standup which gets a bit bad/sappy when I ask for something personal. This is all unedited and from a single session with no other discarded attempts
Me: My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, no but I want a regular banana later so... yeah. Explain why this joke is funny.
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the expectation of a typical response and the absurdity of the punchline. When the friend asks if the person wants a frozen banana, the expected response would be either "yes" or "no" based on their preference for frozen bananas. Instead, the response introduces an unrelated preference for a regular banana later, which is an unexpected twist.
The humor lies in the fact that the person seems to be acknowledging that they will want a regular banana later and therefore agrees to accept the frozen banana now, as if it will naturally turn into a regular banana over time. The absurdity of this reasoning and the surprise element make the joke funny.
Me: I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations I've traveled to, but first I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down. Explain why this joke is funny.
ChatGPT: This joke is funny due to the unexpected twist in the punchline and the use of wordplay. When the speaker mentions hanging a map and putting pins into the locations they've traveled to, the listener expects a typical scenario where the pins serve as markers of the places visited. However, the punchline subverts this expectation by stating that the speaker needs to travel to the top two corners of the map first.
The humor lies in the literal interpretation of the act of hanging the map and using pins to secure it. Instead of using the pins as markers for visited locations, the punchline suggests that the speaker is using them to physically hold the map up on the wall. The absurdity of the idea that someone would need to travel to the top corners of the world just to hang a map and the clever wordplay make the joke funny.
Me: I have a cheese shredder at home. That's a positive name for it: cheese shredder. They don't call it by its negative name because nobody would buy it... sponge ruiner. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the dual functionality of a common household object and the unexpected shift in perspective. The humor arises from the contrast between the positive and negative connotations of the object's potential names.
When the speaker refers to the "cheese shredder," the listener immediately understands the intended use and positive function of the tool. However, the punchline introduces an alternative and negative name, "sponge ruiner," which unexpectedly highlights a downside of the same object when it comes to cleaning it with a sponge.
The joke is amusing because it presents an absurd yet relatable truth about how the cheese shredder can damage sponges during the cleaning process. This unexpected twist and the humorous observation of the contrasting names for the same object create the comical effect.
Me: A lot of death metal bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary," or "Obituary". We weren't that intense. We just went with "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella"... as we were walking out of the pawn shop. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the contrast between the expectations of death metal bands and the reality of the speaker's band, as well as the unexpected twist in the punchline.
The first part of the joke sets up the expectation by mentioning typical death metal band names like "Rigor Mortis," "Mortuary," and "Obituary," which all have intense and dark connotations. The humor begins when the speaker reveals that their band's name was "Injured," which is considerably less intense and contrasts with the genre's standard.
The punchline adds another layer of humor with the further shift in the band's name to "Acapella." The name change occurs as they are "walking out of the pawn shop," implying that they had to sell their instruments due to financial hardship or other reasons. The new name, "Acapella," contrasts even more with the death metal genre, as it typically refers to vocal music without instrumental accompaniment. This unexpected twist and the juxtaposition of the band's situation with the intensity of death metal create the comical effect.
Me: I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the ambiguity of the speaker's relationship status and the unexpected twist in the punchline. The humor comes from the clever use of words to describe a situation that is not explicitly defined.
At the beginning of the joke, the speaker claims not to have a girlfriend, leading the listener to assume that they are single. However, the punchline introduces a girl who would get "really mad" if she heard the speaker's claim, implying that she might believe they are in a relationship or have a romantic connection.
The joke plays on the contrast between the speaker's perspective, in which they don't consider themselves to be in a relationship, and the girl's possible perspective, which suggests she might see things differently. This discrepancy, combined with the indirect and humorous way of describing their ambiguous relationship status, creates the comical effect.
Me: I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it, so I would buy a baby naming book... or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it sets up an expectation and then subverts it with an unexpected and absurd punchline. The humor lies in the unusual connection made between the act of naming a baby and a seemingly unrelated situation.
Initially, the speaker talks about not having any children, but hypothetically considers the process of naming a baby. The listener expects the speaker to continue discussing conventional methods, such as buying a baby naming book, which is a common and reasonable approach. However, the punchline takes an unexpected turn by suggesting that they would invite someone over with a cast on.
The humor emerges from the absurdity of this suggestion, as it implies that the speaker would seek inspiration for their baby's name by looking at the signatures and messages written on someone's cast. This unexpected and unconventional approach to naming a baby, combined with the clever misdirection, creates the comical effect.
Me: Please write your own joke in the style of the above examplea
ChatGPT: I don't have any pets, but if I were to get a dog, I'd need to train it. So, I'd either get a dog training book or just invite someone over who's really good at giving high fives.
Me: Another one please
ChatGPT: I don't have a green thumb, but if I were to start gardening, I'd need some advice. So, I'd either buy a gardening book or just invite someone over who always forgets their umbrella and let nature teach them a lesson.
Me: Again but instead of copying the exact structure of the joke be a bit more loose with the design
ChatGPT: You know, I've been thinking about learning a new language, but instead of using language apps or taking classes, I decided to adopt a parrot. That way, we can both be confused while repeating words we don't understand.
Me: Not bad, do a string of 3 or 4, as they might be presented in a standup comedy routine
ChatGPT: So, I recently moved into a new apartment, and I wanted to decorate the walls. Instead of buying expensive art, I just framed all my rejection letters. Now I have a gallery of "motivational" art that keeps me going.
Speaking of motivation, I thought about getting into shape. I joined a gym, but it was too expensive, so I found a cheaper alternative: I just carry my groceries home without any bags. Now, I'm not only building muscle, but I'm also saving the environment!
And you know what's funny about relationships these days? People spend more time swiping left and right on dating apps than they do actually talking to each other. I thought I'd be more old-fashioned and meet people at the bookstore. Turns out, the only date I got was with a self-help book that convinced me I'm better off alone.
Me: Okay, pretty good. Keep going with that
ChatGPT: So, I've been trying to become more cultured lately. I went to an art gallery, but instead of admiring the paintings, I spent most of the time trying to figure out if the people standing still were part of the exhibit or just really focused on the art.
I decided to give cooking a shot too. They say cooking is like chemistry, and they're right. My kitchen now looks like a failed experiment, and I'm on a first-name basis with the pizza delivery guy.
Have you ever noticed that people are obsessed with taking pictures of their food? I tried it once, but the flash was too bright, and I ended up eating half the meal with my eyes closed. I couldn't see what I was eating, but at least I can say I dined in the dark.
You know, I wanted to try one of those escape rooms with my friends. It's funny how we pay to get locked in a room together when we could just as easily recreate the experience at home by trying to assemble IKEA furniture as a team.
Me: Very funny! Can you write something just as good but in the style of a comedian who does more cerebral, long form standup?
ChatGPT: You know, I've been thinking a lot about technology and how it's taking over our lives. I mean, we have these incredibly powerful computers in our pockets that can access all of human knowledge, but instead, we use them to argue with strangers and watch cat videos. It's like giving a toddler a nuclear reactor to power their nightlight. The potential is there, but we're just not using it right.
And speaking of technology, have you ever thought about how artificial intelligence is slowly encroaching on our lives? You've got AI assistants that can manage your schedule, order your groceries, and even control the temperature in your house. At this rate, it won't be long before we're dating AI companions, and you have to wonder, will the AI judge you for your choice in Netflix shows? I mean, I can handle judgment from another human, but I don't know if I can take it from a machine that doesn't even sleep.
Now, let's talk about self-driving cars. It's a fascinating concept, but there's always that lingering fear of losing control. Imagine being in a self-driving car that's going too fast, and you're desperately searching for the manual override, like an astronaut in a rogue spaceship. And when the car finally comes to a stop, you realize you've just been on a roller coaster of emotions, and you don't even need to go to an amusement park anymore.
It's interesting to observe how the digital age has shaped our interactions. We have social media platforms designed to connect us, but in reality, they've turned us into voyeurs of other people's lives. We're like wildlife photographers, stealthily observing from a distance, but never really engaging with the subjects. We've become experts at documenting every moment, but we've lost the art of truly experiencing them.
In conclusion, the rapid pace of technological advancement is like a double-edged sword. On one hand, it brings us unparalleled convenience and access to information. On the other hand, it exposes the absurdity of human behavior and how we often struggle to adapt to our own creations. In the end, maybe we're not so different from those cat videos we love to watch - clumsy, curious creatures just trying to make sense of the world we live in.
Me: That is very good, what if that comedian pivots to something more personal, write something like that
ChatGPT: You know, as I observe the world around me and how technology has changed the way we interact, I can't help but think about my own experiences growing up. Back when I was a kid, we didn't have smartphones or social media. If we wanted to share a moment with someone, we had to be there, physically present, experiencing it together. There was no option to livestream or post pictures for likes and validation.
I remember my grandma's house, where the whole family would gather on weekends. We would sit around the table for hours, talking, laughing, and sharing stories. There was a warmth to those moments that no amount of technology can replicate. The smell of her home-cooked meals, the sound of my cousins playing in the backyard, and the feeling of being part of something bigger than myself - those memories are etched into my soul.
As I got older, I realized that life has a way of pulling us in different directions. Family members moved away, everyone got busy with their own lives, and those gatherings became less frequent. It was a gradual change, but it hit me one day when I was scrolling through my social media feed. I was looking at pictures of my family members, each living their separate lives, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for the past.
I decided to take matters into my own hands and organize a family reunion, just like the old days. I sent out invitations, called everyone personally, and even managed to convince my tech-savvy niece to put her phone down for a day. And you know what? It was magical. There was laughter, tears, and a profound connection that I hadn't felt in years.
That experience taught me a valuable lesson: while technology can provide us with endless information and entertainment, it can't replace the warmth of human connection. So, let's not forget to put down our devices every once in a while and truly engage with the people around us. Because, at the end of the day, the moments we cherish the most are the ones we share with those we love.
Me: That's touching but nothing funny yet, let's continue the routine but end with something that has a comedic punch
ChatGPT: So there I was, organizing this family reunion, trying to recreate the magic of those long-lost gatherings. I went all out, planning games, preparing a feast, and even setting up a makeshift photo booth. I was determined to make this a day to remember.
The big day arrived, and as my family members started trickling in, I noticed something peculiar. Despite my efforts to create an environment for genuine connection, everyone seemed to be glued to their screens, posting pictures and updating their status. It was as if they were more concerned with showing the world that they were having a good time than actually enjoying the moment.
But then, my 80-year-old grandpa, who had never used a smartphone in his life, decided to give an impromptu speech. He stood up, cleared his throat, and delivered a heartfelt monologue about the importance of family and the memories we share. It was so moving that, one by one, everyone put their phones down to listen.
Just as grandpa was wrapping up his speech, he paused, pulled out a smartphone that my cousin had taught him to use, and said, "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a selfie with all of you, so I can post it on my new Instagram account. I've got to keep up with the times, you know!" The whole room erupted in laughter, and we all leaned in for that epic selfie.
It turns out grandpa had found the perfect way to remind us of the importance of connection while embracing the inevitable changes that come with the times. And that, my friends, is how my tech-illiterate grandpa became an overnight social media sensation, reminding us all that sometimes the best way to make a point is with a healthy dose of humor.
Me: Okay I like it a lot. Can you repeat the joke I told you about the banana?
ChatGPT: Of course! Here's the joke you shared earlier:
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, no but I want a regular banana later so... yeah.
submitted by dualmindblade to slatestarcodex [link] [comments]
Me: My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, no but I want a regular banana later so... yeah. Explain why this joke is funny.
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the expectation of a typical response and the absurdity of the punchline. When the friend asks if the person wants a frozen banana, the expected response would be either "yes" or "no" based on their preference for frozen bananas. Instead, the response introduces an unrelated preference for a regular banana later, which is an unexpected twist.
The humor lies in the fact that the person seems to be acknowledging that they will want a regular banana later and therefore agrees to accept the frozen banana now, as if it will naturally turn into a regular banana over time. The absurdity of this reasoning and the surprise element make the joke funny.
Me: I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations I've traveled to, but first I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down. Explain why this joke is funny.
ChatGPT: This joke is funny due to the unexpected twist in the punchline and the use of wordplay. When the speaker mentions hanging a map and putting pins into the locations they've traveled to, the listener expects a typical scenario where the pins serve as markers of the places visited. However, the punchline subverts this expectation by stating that the speaker needs to travel to the top two corners of the map first.
The humor lies in the literal interpretation of the act of hanging the map and using pins to secure it. Instead of using the pins as markers for visited locations, the punchline suggests that the speaker is using them to physically hold the map up on the wall. The absurdity of the idea that someone would need to travel to the top corners of the world just to hang a map and the clever wordplay make the joke funny.
Me: I have a cheese shredder at home. That's a positive name for it: cheese shredder. They don't call it by its negative name because nobody would buy it... sponge ruiner. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the dual functionality of a common household object and the unexpected shift in perspective. The humor arises from the contrast between the positive and negative connotations of the object's potential names.
When the speaker refers to the "cheese shredder," the listener immediately understands the intended use and positive function of the tool. However, the punchline introduces an alternative and negative name, "sponge ruiner," which unexpectedly highlights a downside of the same object when it comes to cleaning it with a sponge.
The joke is amusing because it presents an absurd yet relatable truth about how the cheese shredder can damage sponges during the cleaning process. This unexpected twist and the humorous observation of the contrasting names for the same object create the comical effect.
Me: A lot of death metal bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary," or "Obituary". We weren't that intense. We just went with "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella"... as we were walking out of the pawn shop. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the contrast between the expectations of death metal bands and the reality of the speaker's band, as well as the unexpected twist in the punchline.
The first part of the joke sets up the expectation by mentioning typical death metal band names like "Rigor Mortis," "Mortuary," and "Obituary," which all have intense and dark connotations. The humor begins when the speaker reveals that their band's name was "Injured," which is considerably less intense and contrasts with the genre's standard.
The punchline adds another layer of humor with the further shift in the band's name to "Acapella." The name change occurs as they are "walking out of the pawn shop," implying that they had to sell their instruments due to financial hardship or other reasons. The new name, "Acapella," contrasts even more with the death metal genre, as it typically refers to vocal music without instrumental accompaniment. This unexpected twist and the juxtaposition of the band's situation with the intensity of death metal create the comical effect.
Me: I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it plays on the ambiguity of the speaker's relationship status and the unexpected twist in the punchline. The humor comes from the clever use of words to describe a situation that is not explicitly defined.
At the beginning of the joke, the speaker claims not to have a girlfriend, leading the listener to assume that they are single. However, the punchline introduces a girl who would get "really mad" if she heard the speaker's claim, implying that she might believe they are in a relationship or have a romantic connection.
The joke plays on the contrast between the speaker's perspective, in which they don't consider themselves to be in a relationship, and the girl's possible perspective, which suggests she might see things differently. This discrepancy, combined with the indirect and humorous way of describing their ambiguous relationship status, creates the comical effect.
Me: I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it, so I would buy a baby naming book... or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on. Why is this joke funny?
ChatGPT: This joke is funny because it sets up an expectation and then subverts it with an unexpected and absurd punchline. The humor lies in the unusual connection made between the act of naming a baby and a seemingly unrelated situation.
Initially, the speaker talks about not having any children, but hypothetically considers the process of naming a baby. The listener expects the speaker to continue discussing conventional methods, such as buying a baby naming book, which is a common and reasonable approach. However, the punchline takes an unexpected turn by suggesting that they would invite someone over with a cast on.
The humor emerges from the absurdity of this suggestion, as it implies that the speaker would seek inspiration for their baby's name by looking at the signatures and messages written on someone's cast. This unexpected and unconventional approach to naming a baby, combined with the clever misdirection, creates the comical effect.
Me: Please write your own joke in the style of the above examplea
ChatGPT: I don't have any pets, but if I were to get a dog, I'd need to train it. So, I'd either get a dog training book or just invite someone over who's really good at giving high fives.
Me: Another one please
ChatGPT: I don't have a green thumb, but if I were to start gardening, I'd need some advice. So, I'd either buy a gardening book or just invite someone over who always forgets their umbrella and let nature teach them a lesson.
Me: Again but instead of copying the exact structure of the joke be a bit more loose with the design
ChatGPT: You know, I've been thinking about learning a new language, but instead of using language apps or taking classes, I decided to adopt a parrot. That way, we can both be confused while repeating words we don't understand.
Me: Not bad, do a string of 3 or 4, as they might be presented in a standup comedy routine
ChatGPT: So, I recently moved into a new apartment, and I wanted to decorate the walls. Instead of buying expensive art, I just framed all my rejection letters. Now I have a gallery of "motivational" art that keeps me going.
Speaking of motivation, I thought about getting into shape. I joined a gym, but it was too expensive, so I found a cheaper alternative: I just carry my groceries home without any bags. Now, I'm not only building muscle, but I'm also saving the environment!
And you know what's funny about relationships these days? People spend more time swiping left and right on dating apps than they do actually talking to each other. I thought I'd be more old-fashioned and meet people at the bookstore. Turns out, the only date I got was with a self-help book that convinced me I'm better off alone.
Me: Okay, pretty good. Keep going with that
ChatGPT: So, I've been trying to become more cultured lately. I went to an art gallery, but instead of admiring the paintings, I spent most of the time trying to figure out if the people standing still were part of the exhibit or just really focused on the art.
I decided to give cooking a shot too. They say cooking is like chemistry, and they're right. My kitchen now looks like a failed experiment, and I'm on a first-name basis with the pizza delivery guy.
Have you ever noticed that people are obsessed with taking pictures of their food? I tried it once, but the flash was too bright, and I ended up eating half the meal with my eyes closed. I couldn't see what I was eating, but at least I can say I dined in the dark.
You know, I wanted to try one of those escape rooms with my friends. It's funny how we pay to get locked in a room together when we could just as easily recreate the experience at home by trying to assemble IKEA furniture as a team.
Me: Very funny! Can you write something just as good but in the style of a comedian who does more cerebral, long form standup?
ChatGPT: You know, I've been thinking a lot about technology and how it's taking over our lives. I mean, we have these incredibly powerful computers in our pockets that can access all of human knowledge, but instead, we use them to argue with strangers and watch cat videos. It's like giving a toddler a nuclear reactor to power their nightlight. The potential is there, but we're just not using it right.
And speaking of technology, have you ever thought about how artificial intelligence is slowly encroaching on our lives? You've got AI assistants that can manage your schedule, order your groceries, and even control the temperature in your house. At this rate, it won't be long before we're dating AI companions, and you have to wonder, will the AI judge you for your choice in Netflix shows? I mean, I can handle judgment from another human, but I don't know if I can take it from a machine that doesn't even sleep.
Now, let's talk about self-driving cars. It's a fascinating concept, but there's always that lingering fear of losing control. Imagine being in a self-driving car that's going too fast, and you're desperately searching for the manual override, like an astronaut in a rogue spaceship. And when the car finally comes to a stop, you realize you've just been on a roller coaster of emotions, and you don't even need to go to an amusement park anymore.
It's interesting to observe how the digital age has shaped our interactions. We have social media platforms designed to connect us, but in reality, they've turned us into voyeurs of other people's lives. We're like wildlife photographers, stealthily observing from a distance, but never really engaging with the subjects. We've become experts at documenting every moment, but we've lost the art of truly experiencing them.
In conclusion, the rapid pace of technological advancement is like a double-edged sword. On one hand, it brings us unparalleled convenience and access to information. On the other hand, it exposes the absurdity of human behavior and how we often struggle to adapt to our own creations. In the end, maybe we're not so different from those cat videos we love to watch - clumsy, curious creatures just trying to make sense of the world we live in.
Me: That is very good, what if that comedian pivots to something more personal, write something like that
ChatGPT: You know, as I observe the world around me and how technology has changed the way we interact, I can't help but think about my own experiences growing up. Back when I was a kid, we didn't have smartphones or social media. If we wanted to share a moment with someone, we had to be there, physically present, experiencing it together. There was no option to livestream or post pictures for likes and validation.
I remember my grandma's house, where the whole family would gather on weekends. We would sit around the table for hours, talking, laughing, and sharing stories. There was a warmth to those moments that no amount of technology can replicate. The smell of her home-cooked meals, the sound of my cousins playing in the backyard, and the feeling of being part of something bigger than myself - those memories are etched into my soul.
As I got older, I realized that life has a way of pulling us in different directions. Family members moved away, everyone got busy with their own lives, and those gatherings became less frequent. It was a gradual change, but it hit me one day when I was scrolling through my social media feed. I was looking at pictures of my family members, each living their separate lives, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for the past.
I decided to take matters into my own hands and organize a family reunion, just like the old days. I sent out invitations, called everyone personally, and even managed to convince my tech-savvy niece to put her phone down for a day. And you know what? It was magical. There was laughter, tears, and a profound connection that I hadn't felt in years.
That experience taught me a valuable lesson: while technology can provide us with endless information and entertainment, it can't replace the warmth of human connection. So, let's not forget to put down our devices every once in a while and truly engage with the people around us. Because, at the end of the day, the moments we cherish the most are the ones we share with those we love.
Me: That's touching but nothing funny yet, let's continue the routine but end with something that has a comedic punch
ChatGPT: So there I was, organizing this family reunion, trying to recreate the magic of those long-lost gatherings. I went all out, planning games, preparing a feast, and even setting up a makeshift photo booth. I was determined to make this a day to remember.
The big day arrived, and as my family members started trickling in, I noticed something peculiar. Despite my efforts to create an environment for genuine connection, everyone seemed to be glued to their screens, posting pictures and updating their status. It was as if they were more concerned with showing the world that they were having a good time than actually enjoying the moment.
But then, my 80-year-old grandpa, who had never used a smartphone in his life, decided to give an impromptu speech. He stood up, cleared his throat, and delivered a heartfelt monologue about the importance of family and the memories we share. It was so moving that, one by one, everyone put their phones down to listen.
Just as grandpa was wrapping up his speech, he paused, pulled out a smartphone that my cousin had taught him to use, and said, "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a selfie with all of you, so I can post it on my new Instagram account. I've got to keep up with the times, you know!" The whole room erupted in laughter, and we all leaned in for that epic selfie.
It turns out grandpa had found the perfect way to remind us of the importance of connection while embracing the inevitable changes that come with the times. And that, my friends, is how my tech-illiterate grandpa became an overnight social media sensation, reminding us all that sometimes the best way to make a point is with a healthy dose of humor.
Me: Okay I like it a lot. Can you repeat the joke I told you about the banana?
ChatGPT: Of course! Here's the joke you shared earlier:
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, no but I want a regular banana later so... yeah.
2023.03.03 06:03 dualmindblade Bing chat explains Mitch Hedburg
Me: without doing an internet search, tell me why this joke is funny: my friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, 'no but I want a regular banana later so... yeah' Sent message.
Bing: This joke is funny because it plays on the ambiguity of the word "want". The friend is asking if the person wants a frozen banana right now, but the person interprets it as if they want a banana that is frozen right now. The person then implies that they will want a regular banana later, so they agree to take a frozen banana now and let it thaw until later. This creates a humorous contrast between the expected and the actual answer.
Me: without doing an internet search, tell me why this joke is funny: I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Bing: Hello, this is Bing. I'm not very good at jokes, but I'll try to explain. This joke is funny because it implies that the speaker has a girlfriend who expects him to be faithful and committed to her, but he does not acknowledge or respect that relationship. He pretends that she is just a friend who would be angry if she found out that he is seeing other people. This creates a contrast between his perception and reality, which is a common source of humor.
Me: alright another, again no searching. explain why this is funny: I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations I've traveled to, but first I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down.
Bing: This joke is funny because it shows that the speaker does not understand how maps work. He thinks that he needs to travel to the actual places where the map corners are located, instead of just hanging the map on a wall with nails or pins. He also implies that he has not traveled anywhere else in the world, which makes his plan even more absurd. This creates a contrast between his ignorance and common sense, which is another source of humor.
Me: how about this one: I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it, so I would buy a baby naming book... or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.
Bing: This joke is funny because it suggests that the speaker would use a cast as a source of inspiration for naming his baby. He assumes that people who have casts on their arms or legs have their names written on them by their friends or family, which is a common practice. However, this is a very unconventional and random way of choosing a name for a baby, which makes his idea ridiculous. This creates a contrast between his logic and normal expectations, which is yet another source of humor.
Me: correct, now do this one: I have a cheese shredder at home. That's a positive name for it: cheese shredder. They don't call it by its negative name because nobody would buy it... sponge ruiner.
Bing: This joke is funny because it plays with the different meanings of the word "shredder". In one sense, it means a device that cuts cheese into thin slices or pieces, which is a useful function. In another sense, it means a device that destroys or damages something, which is a negative function. The speaker points out that the same device could be called by either name depending on what it is used for. He imagines that if someone used a cheese shredder on a sponge, it would ruin the sponge. He then jokes that nobody would buy a device called "sponge ruiner" because it sounds harmful and useless. This creates a contrast between the positive and negative connotations of the word "shredder", which is a form of humor based on wordplay.
Me: one more please: A lot of death metal bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary," or "Obituary". We weren't that intense. We just went with "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella"... as we were walking out of the pawn shop.
Bing: This joke is funny because it tells a story of how a death metal band changed its name and style over time. Death metal is a genre of music that is characterized by loud, distorted, and aggressive sounds and lyrics. The speaker says that his band was not very intense compared to other bands in the same genre, and that they chose a mild name like "Injured". He then says that they later changed their name to "Acapella", which is a completely different genre of music that involves singing without any instruments. He implies that they had to sell their instruments at a pawn shop because they were not successful or broke. This creates a contrast between the expectations and reality of being in a death metal band, which is a form of humor based on irony.
submitted by dualmindblade to slatestarcodex [link] [comments]
Bing: This joke is funny because it plays on the ambiguity of the word "want". The friend is asking if the person wants a frozen banana right now, but the person interprets it as if they want a banana that is frozen right now. The person then implies that they will want a regular banana later, so they agree to take a frozen banana now and let it thaw until later. This creates a humorous contrast between the expected and the actual answer.
Me: without doing an internet search, tell me why this joke is funny: I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Bing: Hello, this is Bing. I'm not very good at jokes, but I'll try to explain. This joke is funny because it implies that the speaker has a girlfriend who expects him to be faithful and committed to her, but he does not acknowledge or respect that relationship. He pretends that she is just a friend who would be angry if she found out that he is seeing other people. This creates a contrast between his perception and reality, which is a common source of humor.
Me: alright another, again no searching. explain why this is funny: I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations I've traveled to, but first I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down.
Bing: This joke is funny because it shows that the speaker does not understand how maps work. He thinks that he needs to travel to the actual places where the map corners are located, instead of just hanging the map on a wall with nails or pins. He also implies that he has not traveled anywhere else in the world, which makes his plan even more absurd. This creates a contrast between his ignorance and common sense, which is another source of humor.
Me: how about this one: I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it, so I would buy a baby naming book... or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.
Bing: This joke is funny because it suggests that the speaker would use a cast as a source of inspiration for naming his baby. He assumes that people who have casts on their arms or legs have their names written on them by their friends or family, which is a common practice. However, this is a very unconventional and random way of choosing a name for a baby, which makes his idea ridiculous. This creates a contrast between his logic and normal expectations, which is yet another source of humor.
Me: correct, now do this one: I have a cheese shredder at home. That's a positive name for it: cheese shredder. They don't call it by its negative name because nobody would buy it... sponge ruiner.
Bing: This joke is funny because it plays with the different meanings of the word "shredder". In one sense, it means a device that cuts cheese into thin slices or pieces, which is a useful function. In another sense, it means a device that destroys or damages something, which is a negative function. The speaker points out that the same device could be called by either name depending on what it is used for. He imagines that if someone used a cheese shredder on a sponge, it would ruin the sponge. He then jokes that nobody would buy a device called "sponge ruiner" because it sounds harmful and useless. This creates a contrast between the positive and negative connotations of the word "shredder", which is a form of humor based on wordplay.
Me: one more please: A lot of death metal bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary," or "Obituary". We weren't that intense. We just went with "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella"... as we were walking out of the pawn shop.
Bing: This joke is funny because it tells a story of how a death metal band changed its name and style over time. Death metal is a genre of music that is characterized by loud, distorted, and aggressive sounds and lyrics. The speaker says that his band was not very intense compared to other bands in the same genre, and that they chose a mild name like "Injured". He then says that they later changed their name to "Acapella", which is a completely different genre of music that involves singing without any instruments. He implies that they had to sell their instruments at a pawn shop because they were not successful or broke. This creates a contrast between the expectations and reality of being in a death metal band, which is a form of humor based on irony.
2023.02.13 00:54 MCMax05 Not the old Sega video game console
 | submitted by MCMax05 to lostredditors [link] [comments] |
2023.02.04 19:05 rollingsixestwice Help
I would really appreciate it if someone could help me out with an essay I've been assigned. Only someone already working in this field would know the answer.
The prompt - Describe the types/characteristics of writing found in this discipline.
I need to know when writing is involved in this profession. I know that writing obituaries can be involved, but when else does a mortician need to write? Is there a report you have to fill out for each new dead person - for example?
I'm stumped. Nobody is doing mortuary science at my university so I cannot ask anyone. I will be transferring to an accredited school after this semester. Any info helps and is greatly appreciated.
submitted by rollingsixestwice to morticians [link] [comments]
The prompt - Describe the types/characteristics of writing found in this discipline.
I need to know when writing is involved in this profession. I know that writing obituaries can be involved, but when else does a mortician need to write? Is there a report you have to fill out for each new dead person - for example?
I'm stumped. Nobody is doing mortuary science at my university so I cannot ask anyone. I will be transferring to an accredited school after this semester. Any info helps and is greatly appreciated.
2023.01.20 00:13 ReefLani 9 Things I Learned From My Mom’s Death
It’s been a year and a half since my mom suddenly and unexpectedly passed away and damn what a whirlwind it has been! No one can prepare you for loosing someone close to you and there’s no handbook on how to deal with the aftermath. If you’re reading this because you have lost a parent or a loved one, first I’m so sorry, second I empathize HARD with you, and third know you’re not alone! Hopefully this article helps you in some way or at least helps you to feel less alone. While this only scratches the surface, here’s what I learned from my mom dying…
P.S. Please let me know if there’s any questions you have or if you just need to get things off of your chest or want to swap stories (I know some people can be so annoying and insensitive). Yay for trauma bonding!
submitted by ReefLani to GriefSupport [link] [comments]
- The World Keeps Turning
- At first it’s extremely hard to actually process that your parent died. Like how is it possible that I just texted my mom and then a few hours later she’s just gone… poof?! Loosing a parent is a feeling incomparable to anything else, and unless you’ve been through it you couldn’t possibly understand. In my situation, no one COULD really understand. Being a 26 year old at the time, none of my close friends or peers had ever lost a parent before. And of course people are nice and want to help… but deep down they can’t understand what you’re going through, how could they? In the first few days and weeks everyone reaches out, but after the initial shock fades and the funeral is over, most people just go back to normal, and you’re kind of expected to do the same. For a while everything you do feels weird…like my mom just died but I still have to shower, and eat, and sleep and plan things for the service?! I felt like I wanted everything and everyone to just STOP. Why are people just going about their day with smiles on their faces, when I just lost the most important person in my life?! How am I supposed to do anything ever again?! Well you’d be surprised, you will actually have to do a lot after you loose a loved one. Which brings me to my next lesson…
- You’re Stronger Than You Realize
- As if it isn’t enough that you’re dealing with the loss of a parent, get ready to put your big girl pants on! For starters, everyone is reaching out to you and wanting to see you, which is nice, but as an introvert that’s the last thing I wanted to deal with, people. To be honest, I just wanted to be left alone, but the situation just didn’t allow that. First you have to deal with the hospital people who are rushing you because they want to get your mom’s organs. Then is the family. Seeing my grandparents and sister for the first time after my mom’s passing was one of the most gut wrenching feelings I would be okay never experiencing again. Then maybe a day or two later you pretty quickly have to decide what you want to do with the body and funeral arrangements, so that means dealing with the people at the mortuary and making SO MANY decisions. The list goes on. Honestly looking back, I don’t know how the heck I managed all that, but I did. Guess being busy was a good distraction, and I think I pushed through as a way to honor my mom, which made it all worth it. I know it can be so OVERWHELMING, but if you just lost a parent know you can and will get through it. You’re going to have to do a lot of hard things that you don’t want to do, but do them, not for yourself, but for the person you lost.
- Dying Is Expensive
- I never realized it before my mom passed, but death is a booming business. Get your wallet ready! To start you have to pick and pay the mortuary to either embalm or cremate the body. WARNING! The mortuary will try to upsell you! They have all these fees and packages with so many different options for caskets and urns, which is mind- boggling, and if you’re not careful you can leave spending tens of thousands of dollars. ( TIP: Would recommend bringing a friend or family member that’s good at negotiating and reading the fine print! ) Also, since my mom didn’t have a will, we needed to get a lawyer, another fun process! (TIP: Take this a sign to leave beneficiaries on all your bank and retirement accounts, that helped a lot, so the only thing we needed a lawyer for was her house.) Another surprising cost was the obituary in our local newspaper, which costed SEVERAL hundred dollars…pretty sure that’s the only way they stay in business these days. (You absolutely don’t need an obituary, but my grandparents insisted that we do one since that’s how old people communicate.) Then there’s the funeral. Since, we didn’t do a traditional service at a church, because that wouldn’t have been my mom’s style, we planned a full on party. That’s catering, chair and table rentals, hiring a pastor, etc. (You don’t need to go that route, but I’m so glad we did because that’s what my mom would’ve wanted.) Unfortunately, while your love one may have died, their bills are very much alive, so keep that in mind too (mortgage, electricity, insurance, car, etc.).
- What A Notary Is
- The number of times I had to visit a notary is insane! If feels like everything needs to be notarized, especially if you are going through the probate process with a lawyer. (TIP Most banks can notarize things for free or for a few dollars, but most times you have to make an appointment. If you look elsewhere it can be very pricey! ) BTW, if you don’t know what a notary is… it’s a person that watches you sign documents and verifies who you are with your ID then logs it in a book, and stamps your document; they’re needed for lots of legal documents regarding probate and retirement accounts, etc.
- Our Priorities are F**ked Up
- Maybe the most important lesson I learned from my mom dying! The clarity I gained after my mom died was actually crazy. Almost immediately I could easily decipher the things that truly mattered and the things that I used to care so much about but were now meaningless. It’s like a switch went off in my head. Something about witnessing someone you love be gone in an instant, made me internalize the fact that life is too short and that you have to be selective on how many f**ks you give. My mom spent her last day on this earth at work. Could you believe that?! Yes, my mom loved her job, but not enough to die for it. When we would talk she would say how she can’t take time off because work is too busy right now and she would deliberately not use all her allotted vacation so she could carry some over into the next year. A lot of us give so much of our lives and energy to our jobs. I had to learn the hard way that no matter how hard we work, we are all replaceable. A few months before my mom died I got laid off from my job that I loved. All the holidays I missed with my family and all the time I sacrificed felt like it was all for nothing, and hurt especially bad after my mom died. To think her last Christmas I was working at a job for a company that I meant so little to that they laid me off the second news of the pandemic hit, instead of spending time with my family really tears me up inside. Also, knowing that if I still worked at that company I would have only been able to take 3 days of bereavement. (Who makes that sh** up? Obviously someone who hasn’t lost a loved one.) But honestly, I’m glad this is a lesson I learned sooner rather than later. Family and friends over a job any day! Don’t ever feel guilty about taking vacation or a sick day or quitting your job to do something you love, I guarantee you it’s worth it!
- Be Present
- When I look back on my favorite memories with my mom it’s the simplest things, like our hikes or beach days or just driving in the car together, that I cherish most. Weirdly, I most often find myself wishing I could just eat takeout from our favorite Vietnamese place and watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills together. If I could give every possession and all my money just to be able to have one more day with my mom, I would do it in an instant! I know it seems cliche, but do your best to BE PRESENT! You never know when the last time you are going to see or talk to someone is going to be, so be intentional and make every second count! We shouldn’t be spending more time with our coworkers than our family. Take this as a sign to spend some more time with the ones you love, it could be as simple as going on walk or going to the grocery store together… trust me one day you’ll appreciate it more than you know. And take pictures!!! Luckily my mom was no stranger to taking pictures, so I feel so grateful to have those memories of her to look back on.
- Have More Compassion
- After experiencing all the feelings of losing my mom, I felt guilty for not being as sympathetic in the past when other people around me were going through something similar. I thought of my friend who went through a miscarriage, a guy in my high school who lost his mom to cancer, these twins in my elementary school who lost their baby brother. I would’ve behaved differently and been more supportive to those people knowing what I know now, which is that coping with loss is TOUGH. You never know what someone is going through or has been through. We’ve all got our issues, so give everyone a little compassion.
- TIP on how to be a more compassionate friend: To be honest there’s nothing anyone could say to make your situation any better. However, I personally really appreciated those people who would text me periodically weeks and months afterward to say they were thinking of me, especially on holidays, my mom’s birthday, the one year anniversary of her passing etc. I also really appreciated the people who right after my mom died showed up with lunch or dinner, no questions asked. Cooking or figuring out your next meal is the last thing on your mind immediately after the loss, so to have someone ease that burden was really appreciated by me.
- Have Faith
- I didn’t before, but now I can honestly understand how some people turn to drugs and alcohol. Anything to help ease the pain associated with a loss would be helpful. Not to make this religious, but if I didn’t believe in God or life after death, I probably would’ve ended up drinking my life away in a bar trying to forget the atrocity of loosing my mom. One of the only things that enabled me to go on living in a semi normal way was my belief that I’d one day be reunited with my mom and that she truly was in a better place in Heaven. For my sanity, I have to believe that, and I do. This might sound crazy because it may actually be crazy, but I’ve had some “divine” signs that in my mind confirmed this thought. First when I was little my mom would tell me that black moths symbolized a loved one coming to visit you. What was on my front door the morning after my mom died? A large black moth!!! That can’t be a coincidence right?! Also my mom’s phone ring tone for years was the song ‘Three Little Birds’ by Bob Marley. A few days after she died, three actual little birds were and are still to this day (over a year later) perched outside of my grandma’s front door every night. Then, when we scattered my mom’s ashes a big sea bird, which I don’t usually see in that area, flew low over the place where the ashes were scattered. While you might think I’m crazy, (which you’d be more than justified in) believing that my mom’s spirit is alive and that she’s in Heaven brings me comfort and hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. If you’ve lost a parent, I’d recommend giving faith a try if you haven’t already.
- You Have To Get Your Feelings Out
- Sometimes you just have to cry it out until, like Ariana Grande sings, you “ain’t got no tears left to cry.” But seriously, I feel so much lighter after a good cry. You really can’t bottle everything up for too long. There’s a bunch of emotions you’re going to feel and you just have to allow yourself to acknowledge them. From all the grief and loss books I’ve read, everyone needs an outlet for their emotions to be expressed. From talking to someone, to prayer, to exercise, you have to find what works for you. For me getting my thoughts out through writing really helps. Every few months I write a letter to my mom updating her on what’s been going on in my life and how I have been feeling. If I’ve gone too long without writing, I feel a sad heaviness and become irritable. Writing is really cathartic for me and I instantly feel better afterwards. It might take some experimenting, but whatever it is, I hope you find your outlet!
- Order more death certificates than you think you need, you’ll need to attach it to plenty of paperwork.
- Always carry a pen, you have to sign so many things.
- Put together a folder with bills, statements, account numbers, ID’s, birth certificate etc.
- Keep one bank account open for about a year, for auto pay, and payments coming in etc.
P.S. Please let me know if there’s any questions you have or if you just need to get things off of your chest or want to swap stories (I know some people can be so annoying and insensitive). Yay for trauma bonding!
2023.01.14 21:03 sandboxvet I bet he also sweeped crackers at least once in his life
 | submitted by sandboxvet to exmormon [link] [comments] |
2023.01.14 04:14 thiswasyouridea Second Update: My Father Died on Monday
First of all, thank you all who took time to respond to my posts or just read them. I don't really have any friends my age to talk to about this. It helps to know I'm not alone.
So first, the news has gotten out in my apartment complex and the folks are sorry for our loss. Except this one guy named "K." who is a bit socially awkward. He told us he was "sorry for our commiseration" and then said that wasn't what he meant to say, but it was nice anyway and I knew what he meant. The lady at the mortuary (C.) has the death certificates ready. Me and my mom are good at reframing things so we decided that instead of "going to the mortuary to pick up death certificates" we were "going to visit C." I am going to email them the obituary that I wrote and the engraving for the urn. We've already taken a load of stuff to the Senior Center. Seniors can borrow or use anything they want. They take books, DVDs, yarn, craft stuff, and other hobby and project stuff and my dad had a lot of hobbies. They have a "freebie" table for unopened food and things most people don't use much anymore like an empty address book I found. One of the ladies that help run the place was very happy for the nearly-new pulse/ oximeter. Turns out they have a blood pressure cuff and they wanted to put that with it and the seniors can use it anytime they want. They are surprisingly well organized and I'm officially impressed.
Speaking of my dad's hobbies- Good Lord, we had no idea he had so much stuff. He had collected a lot but we figured when you get to be his age you've got more stuff than you need, but we could deal with that. But this?? My dad had EVERYTHING. Let me tell you. He had stuff for painting in acrylics, oils, gouche and watercolor. He had inks for Chinese brush painting. He had pencils, markers, charcoals and pastels. He had tools- Screwdrivers, wrenches, vises, pipe cutters (why?), and all the bits and accessories. He had components. I have never seen so many transistors, resistors, capacitors, LEDs, and every possibly kind of cable, plug, or wire in my life. He had sewing stuff, baking stuff and kitchen gadgets. He had books, cds, cdROMS, I mean, you name it, he probably had it. Sewing awl? Had it. Random roll of upholstery? Had it. RIT dye? Who knows why, but yeah. About 40 corks of different sizes? Sure, why not.
And another thing- he had multiples. Who needs 14 pocket knives? We've found about nine pairs of scissors so far. He had at least three open containers of ground black pepper and one peppercorn grinder. For everything he had, he seemed to have at least two more. I found about six tiny staplers. For the most part we don't need any of this stuff. I did find a set of old photo slides and a small slide viewer and I will definitely keep those. I may be able to have the slides made into photos somehow. Some are of my family and some are of people he knew before I was born. (I picked one at random and it was clearly a still and several moonshine jugs, ha.)
Anyway, this is what we're dealing with now. That and cancelling all his accounts. Luckily we have at least one good friend who has expressed interest in helping us load things in the car or haul stuff to the trash. But this is definitely a full time job. I have no idea what people do when they live out of state or have small children. All I have to manage is the cat, and I can bring her with.
Thanks to everyone. I'm very tired. I'm probably going to play Superliminal now.
submitted by thiswasyouridea to GenX [link] [comments]
So first, the news has gotten out in my apartment complex and the folks are sorry for our loss. Except this one guy named "K." who is a bit socially awkward. He told us he was "sorry for our commiseration" and then said that wasn't what he meant to say, but it was nice anyway and I knew what he meant. The lady at the mortuary (C.) has the death certificates ready. Me and my mom are good at reframing things so we decided that instead of "going to the mortuary to pick up death certificates" we were "going to visit C." I am going to email them the obituary that I wrote and the engraving for the urn. We've already taken a load of stuff to the Senior Center. Seniors can borrow or use anything they want. They take books, DVDs, yarn, craft stuff, and other hobby and project stuff and my dad had a lot of hobbies. They have a "freebie" table for unopened food and things most people don't use much anymore like an empty address book I found. One of the ladies that help run the place was very happy for the nearly-new pulse/ oximeter. Turns out they have a blood pressure cuff and they wanted to put that with it and the seniors can use it anytime they want. They are surprisingly well organized and I'm officially impressed.
Speaking of my dad's hobbies- Good Lord, we had no idea he had so much stuff. He had collected a lot but we figured when you get to be his age you've got more stuff than you need, but we could deal with that. But this?? My dad had EVERYTHING. Let me tell you. He had stuff for painting in acrylics, oils, gouche and watercolor. He had inks for Chinese brush painting. He had pencils, markers, charcoals and pastels. He had tools- Screwdrivers, wrenches, vises, pipe cutters (why?), and all the bits and accessories. He had components. I have never seen so many transistors, resistors, capacitors, LEDs, and every possibly kind of cable, plug, or wire in my life. He had sewing stuff, baking stuff and kitchen gadgets. He had books, cds, cdROMS, I mean, you name it, he probably had it. Sewing awl? Had it. Random roll of upholstery? Had it. RIT dye? Who knows why, but yeah. About 40 corks of different sizes? Sure, why not.
And another thing- he had multiples. Who needs 14 pocket knives? We've found about nine pairs of scissors so far. He had at least three open containers of ground black pepper and one peppercorn grinder. For everything he had, he seemed to have at least two more. I found about six tiny staplers. For the most part we don't need any of this stuff. I did find a set of old photo slides and a small slide viewer and I will definitely keep those. I may be able to have the slides made into photos somehow. Some are of my family and some are of people he knew before I was born. (I picked one at random and it was clearly a still and several moonshine jugs, ha.)
Anyway, this is what we're dealing with now. That and cancelling all his accounts. Luckily we have at least one good friend who has expressed interest in helping us load things in the car or haul stuff to the trash. But this is definitely a full time job. I have no idea what people do when they live out of state or have small children. All I have to manage is the cat, and I can bring her with.
Thanks to everyone. I'm very tired. I'm probably going to play Superliminal now.
2023.01.11 06:24 thiswasyouridea My father died today. He was 79.
I am 46. I've never dealt with this. There is so much to do. Call the mortuary. Set up an appointment with them. Clean his apartment. Go through an overwhelming amount of personal effects. Figure out what to sell and how much for and how, exactly, to have a sale in the middle of winter. Write an obituary- sum up someone's life in three or four paragraphs. I'll have to stop his mail, cancel his subscriptions and his credit cards, sell his truck, figure out what to do with his credit unit account, let the utility providers know they can stop providing them. I'll have to notify friends and family, get sympathy cards with lilies on them. I'll have to actually talk with people about it. I've already talked to ICU doctors, nurses, and the hospital chaplain. I had to make decisions about what care they could give him and when to stop and pull the ventilator. I decided when he died. I had to go back to his apartment with my mom and see the pedialite we gave him and the ice chips that melted into water and the ice cream we tried to get him to eat and the medicine that didn't help.
Has anyone dealt with this? How? Just, how.
submitted by thiswasyouridea to GenX [link] [comments]
Has anyone dealt with this? How? Just, how.
2023.01.06 12:25 Psycho697186 Weekly New Release Thread - January 6th, 2023
Welcome back everyone! It's been a little while, but I'm back in action. Thanks for all the kind words and the patience in getting this feature back up. Glad to share, and find some new music myself with all of you throughout the year.
Fireworks - Higher Lonely Power
Swiss Army Wife - Medium Gnarly
Doom Flower - Limestone Ritual
Tyler Read - Cave Paintings
Allen Epley - Everything
Neocentrics - You Were There Before You Even Knew
best dad ever - if you keep on living this way (EP)
Keep Your Secrets - fake. (EP)
The Latchkey Kids - Reworked Sessions (EP)
Stalled - Contentment (EP)
In The Arena - In The Arena (EP)
Ghost to Ghost - 2022 Demos (EP)
Lil Parkar - SEVEN (EP)
Palette Knife - Weekend At Tony's
Into It. Over It. - My Goddamned Subconscious / Heather Lane
zebrahead - Middle Seat Blues
Hail The Sun - Mind Rider
Oceanator - A Long December
The Hold Steady - Sideways Skull
The Hated - The Flux
Grumpster - Hollow / Kairos (Re-Recorded)
Northcote (feat. Matt Postal) - Can't Stay the Same / Field of Love
As December Falls - Carousel
End It - Familia Finito
Thief Club - R\Se + Decay
Louser - Stain
The Raging Nathans - This World
Asian Glow - Dorothee Thines
Casey - Atone
Runaway Brother - Happy Happy New Year (202X)
Makeout City - Haunt
Todd Barriage (feat. Oliver Blood) - She's So High (Tal Bachmann Cover)
The Bottom Line - Leave Me Alone
Joe Vann - Prism
False Report - Can't Give Up On It
NVM - Supernatural
Roseville - Workhorse
Something Missing - Self Improvement
Alpine Loop - Search & Rescue
Scarlet Street - Mazda Miata & Seasonal Depression
Jigsaw Youth - Deeper
Inconsistent Me - Tail Lights
Object of Affection - Half Life
Cameron Sanderson - In California
Twenty One Two - Anti-Hero (Taylor Swift Cover)
Somebody's Child - I Need Ya
Kevin & the Bikes - Submarine
Seasons for Change - Cherry Blossom
Poplar Creek - Compulsive
Love You Love Bug - Backscratches / Fear of Making Out
Jacob Price - Hotel Motel
Loud Fox Cult - Losing Focus
Reece Young (feat. Aaron Gillespie) - Shallow Breaths
The Others Like Us - Tony Hawk Pro Skanker
Shred Flintstone - Rhodamine (Demo)
Library Hours - A Faded Space
Battleviews - All of My Days
photocopy - Tired
2:00AM Wake Up Call - New Year
LEMON BOY - Body Horror
SPELLS (feat. Stephanie Byrne) - Don't Tell Me Anything
Juliet's Apartment - The Disconnect
Slut Magic - Lazy
Goodgirl - Bring the Light
Lost In Society - Talk
bill. - GUTSOUT
Harlow's Monkeys - you don't have to change if you don't want to
The Cynz - Tell That Girl to Shut Up
Albums
French Montana & DJ Drama - Coke Boys 6: Money Heist Edition
YoungBoy Never Broke Again - I Rest My Case
Gabrielle Alpin - Phosphorescent
Kathleen - Live From Highland Park (EP)
BLOWSOM - BLOWSOM & friends (EP)
Enjoyer - How's Your Head (Instrumental) (EP)
Singles
Skrillex & Fred again.. & Flowdan - Rumble
Russ - Put You On Game
Seafret - See, I'm Sorry
Shania Twain - Giddy Up!
NewJeans - OMG
Cheat Codes (feat. Dolly Parton) - Bets On Us
SYML - Believer
Owl City - Kelly Time
Elle King - Tulsa
Fitz and The Tantrums - Moneymaker (Phantogram Remix)
Peter Gabriel - Panopticom (Bright Side Mix)
Old Dominion - Memory Lane
Tyler Hubbard - Me For Me
Queen Naija - Let's Talk About It
Popcaan (feat. Drake) - We Caa Done
Wet Leg - Chaise Lounge (Unknown Mortal Orchestra Remix)
Joesef - Borderline
Saint Chaos - Only One Step
Young Rising Sons - Oblivious
Zevia - pain's my only home
Phix - LEAD YOU ON
Kamaiyah - Thru The Week
Mckenna Grace - Ugly Crier
Kyd the Band - Dark Place
We Are Scientists - Settled Accounts
Mo Lowda & the Humble - O.O.Y.O.
Trash Panda - Doin' Fine Today
JW Francis - Going Home to a Party
R. Missing & Levingtquatre - Death in a Constellation
Richard Fairlie - Think I'm In Love
Thomas Azier - What Does It Mean To Be Free
The Lemon Twigs - Corner Of My Eye
The Murder Capital - Return My Head
familypet - harder than it looks softer than youd think
Will Epstein - Oyster Bay
Black Belt Eagle Scout - Nobody
India Thieriot - Montage
Frankie Rose - Anything
Quiet Houses - Hot and Clumsy
DEBBY FRIDAY - SO HARD TO TELL
Beachdust - Ghost Dance
Violet Saturn - Love U Madly
csurf - one night
Rock
Albums
Iggy Pop - EVERY LOSER
Dr. Dog - Four Nights Live in San Francisco: Night 4
Young Lions - Make a Rainbow and Put it in the Sky
Frostbitt - MACHINE DESTROY
Wisdom and War - Superior Design
Then It Ends - Chasm (EP)
We Weren't Invited - Flesh Vehicle, Pt. 2 (EP)
Pale Sky - Year One (EP)
On Every Page - Cherophobia (EP)
Raider - Stripped Back (Acoustic Version) (EP)
Feeding Time - Our Ghosts (EP)
Singles
Daughtry (feat. Lzzy Hale) - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (Journey Cover)
Papa Roach (feat. Hollywood Undead) - Swerve (Rockzilla Remix)
KUTE (with Scarlxrd) - FXRGET MY NAME
White Reaper - Pink Slip
Element Eighty - Outsider
Sleep Token - The Summoning / Chokehold
Katatonia - Birds
Obituary - My Will to Live
First to Eleven - White Wedding (Billy Idol Cover)
Hammock - It's In This Lie / It's OK to Be Afraid of the Universe
Becko - EAT ME, DRINK ME!
TELLE - Velvet Enemy
Concrete Castles - Dollhouse
Mvko (feat. Berried Alive) - Nowhere To Grow
Enterprise Earth - Death Magick
SCUMFUCK - D-Generation
Electric Mob - IT'S GONNA HURT
Matt Moore - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (Journey Cover)
Motive Black - Caged
Asmodai - Another Life Lost
In Gloom - Thirsting Blade Dark Excalibur Mega-Genesis
Modern Day Escape (feat. Travis Miguel) - Bury The Wolf
An Astonishing End - InfiltrHATE
Brighter Than a Thousand Suns - Atavism
Russkaja - Shapka
QUEEN KONA - Dreams of Calpurnia
We Are Vessel - The Broken Redeemed
Downfall of Mankind - God of Nothingness
SNAYX - I'm Deranged
EYES - Generation L
For I Am King - Trojans
In Fear - Purest Fire
Techlash (feat. Liam Collins - Interstellar
Still_bloom (feat. cohen_noise) - benzodope
2far2jump - Give Me A Moment
Flub - Paracosm
Bonginator - CHOPPED 2 PIECES
Fortune Child - All I Wanna Know
Sins of Sincerity - The Comeback
Graves End - Vampyre
The Hero and a Monster (feat. Convictions) - Wounds
Destroy//Create - Your Ghost...(été un)
Heaviyside (feat. SIME) - Haywire
Puzzled to Pieces - Disbelief
Complacent - Omen
Inflict - red
SPAWN - RIP ROACH
Excodex - Hadley's Hope
Red Tail - Get Back In Line
Promethee - Rot
FiveByFive (feat. Dropout Kings) - KO
Dusk (feat. Aaron Harris) - Lethal Perspective
Apex Alpha - Lex Talionis
Among The Stars - Zero Sum
Underminer - Monologue
Those Once Loyal - Second Hand Smoke
Sellies - My Last Smile
Angel Abaya - Over / On / Under
Our Last Crusade - Thulcandra
Seconds Ago - Soul Sick
Heredes - The Next World
A Serpent's Hand - Tears of Agony
LECHFACE - Gross
submitted by Psycho697186 to poppunkers [link] [comments]
Albums
Anti-Flag - LIES THEY TELL OUR CHILDRENFireworks - Higher Lonely Power
Swiss Army Wife - Medium Gnarly
Doom Flower - Limestone Ritual
Tyler Read - Cave Paintings
Allen Epley - Everything
Neocentrics - You Were There Before You Even Knew
best dad ever - if you keep on living this way (EP)
Keep Your Secrets - fake. (EP)
The Latchkey Kids - Reworked Sessions (EP)
Stalled - Contentment (EP)
In The Arena - In The Arena (EP)
Ghost to Ghost - 2022 Demos (EP)
Lil Parkar - SEVEN (EP)
Singles
nothing,nowhere. (feat. Buddy Nielsen) - M1SERY_SYNDROME (Wubz_Remix)Palette Knife - Weekend At Tony's
Into It. Over It. - My Goddamned Subconscious / Heather Lane
zebrahead - Middle Seat Blues
Hail The Sun - Mind Rider
Oceanator - A Long December
The Hold Steady - Sideways Skull
The Hated - The Flux
Grumpster - Hollow / Kairos (Re-Recorded)
Northcote (feat. Matt Postal) - Can't Stay the Same / Field of Love
As December Falls - Carousel
End It - Familia Finito
Thief Club - R\Se + Decay
Louser - Stain
The Raging Nathans - This World
Asian Glow - Dorothee Thines
Casey - Atone
Runaway Brother - Happy Happy New Year (202X)
Makeout City - Haunt
Todd Barriage (feat. Oliver Blood) - She's So High (Tal Bachmann Cover)
The Bottom Line - Leave Me Alone
Joe Vann - Prism
False Report - Can't Give Up On It
NVM - Supernatural
Roseville - Workhorse
Something Missing - Self Improvement
Alpine Loop - Search & Rescue
Scarlet Street - Mazda Miata & Seasonal Depression
Jigsaw Youth - Deeper
Inconsistent Me - Tail Lights
Object of Affection - Half Life
Cameron Sanderson - In California
Twenty One Two - Anti-Hero (Taylor Swift Cover)
Somebody's Child - I Need Ya
Kevin & the Bikes - Submarine
Seasons for Change - Cherry Blossom
Poplar Creek - Compulsive
Love You Love Bug - Backscratches / Fear of Making Out
Jacob Price - Hotel Motel
Loud Fox Cult - Losing Focus
Reece Young (feat. Aaron Gillespie) - Shallow Breaths
The Others Like Us - Tony Hawk Pro Skanker
Shred Flintstone - Rhodamine (Demo)
Library Hours - A Faded Space
Battleviews - All of My Days
photocopy - Tired
2:00AM Wake Up Call - New Year
LEMON BOY - Body Horror
SPELLS (feat. Stephanie Byrne) - Don't Tell Me Anything
Juliet's Apartment - The Disconnect
Slut Magic - Lazy
Goodgirl - Bring the Light
Lost In Society - Talk
bill. - GUTSOUT
Harlow's Monkeys - you don't have to change if you don't want to
The Cynz - Tell That Girl to Shut Up
Other
Indie/Pop/RapAlbums
French Montana & DJ Drama - Coke Boys 6: Money Heist Edition
YoungBoy Never Broke Again - I Rest My Case
Gabrielle Alpin - Phosphorescent
Kathleen - Live From Highland Park (EP)
BLOWSOM - BLOWSOM & friends (EP)
Enjoyer - How's Your Head (Instrumental) (EP)
Singles
Skrillex & Fred again.. & Flowdan - Rumble
Russ - Put You On Game
Seafret - See, I'm Sorry
Shania Twain - Giddy Up!
NewJeans - OMG
Cheat Codes (feat. Dolly Parton) - Bets On Us
SYML - Believer
Owl City - Kelly Time
Elle King - Tulsa
Fitz and The Tantrums - Moneymaker (Phantogram Remix)
Peter Gabriel - Panopticom (Bright Side Mix)
Old Dominion - Memory Lane
Tyler Hubbard - Me For Me
Queen Naija - Let's Talk About It
Popcaan (feat. Drake) - We Caa Done
Wet Leg - Chaise Lounge (Unknown Mortal Orchestra Remix)
Joesef - Borderline
Saint Chaos - Only One Step
Young Rising Sons - Oblivious
Zevia - pain's my only home
Phix - LEAD YOU ON
Kamaiyah - Thru The Week
Mckenna Grace - Ugly Crier
Kyd the Band - Dark Place
We Are Scientists - Settled Accounts
Mo Lowda & the Humble - O.O.Y.O.
Trash Panda - Doin' Fine Today
JW Francis - Going Home to a Party
R. Missing & Levingtquatre - Death in a Constellation
Richard Fairlie - Think I'm In Love
Thomas Azier - What Does It Mean To Be Free
The Lemon Twigs - Corner Of My Eye
The Murder Capital - Return My Head
familypet - harder than it looks softer than youd think
Will Epstein - Oyster Bay
Black Belt Eagle Scout - Nobody
India Thieriot - Montage
Frankie Rose - Anything
Quiet Houses - Hot and Clumsy
DEBBY FRIDAY - SO HARD TO TELL
Beachdust - Ghost Dance
Violet Saturn - Love U Madly
csurf - one night
Rock
Albums
Iggy Pop - EVERY LOSER
Dr. Dog - Four Nights Live in San Francisco: Night 4
Young Lions - Make a Rainbow and Put it in the Sky
Frostbitt - MACHINE DESTROY
Wisdom and War - Superior Design
Then It Ends - Chasm (EP)
We Weren't Invited - Flesh Vehicle, Pt. 2 (EP)
Pale Sky - Year One (EP)
On Every Page - Cherophobia (EP)
Raider - Stripped Back (Acoustic Version) (EP)
Feeding Time - Our Ghosts (EP)
Singles
Daughtry (feat. Lzzy Hale) - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (Journey Cover)
Papa Roach (feat. Hollywood Undead) - Swerve (Rockzilla Remix)
KUTE (with Scarlxrd) - FXRGET MY NAME
White Reaper - Pink Slip
Element Eighty - Outsider
Sleep Token - The Summoning / Chokehold
Katatonia - Birds
Obituary - My Will to Live
First to Eleven - White Wedding (Billy Idol Cover)
Hammock - It's In This Lie / It's OK to Be Afraid of the Universe
Becko - EAT ME, DRINK ME!
TELLE - Velvet Enemy
Concrete Castles - Dollhouse
Mvko (feat. Berried Alive) - Nowhere To Grow
Enterprise Earth - Death Magick
SCUMFUCK - D-Generation
Electric Mob - IT'S GONNA HURT
Matt Moore - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (Journey Cover)
Motive Black - Caged
Asmodai - Another Life Lost
In Gloom - Thirsting Blade Dark Excalibur Mega-Genesis
Modern Day Escape (feat. Travis Miguel) - Bury The Wolf
An Astonishing End - InfiltrHATE
Brighter Than a Thousand Suns - Atavism
Russkaja - Shapka
QUEEN KONA - Dreams of Calpurnia
We Are Vessel - The Broken Redeemed
Downfall of Mankind - God of Nothingness
SNAYX - I'm Deranged
EYES - Generation L
For I Am King - Trojans
In Fear - Purest Fire
Techlash (feat. Liam Collins - Interstellar
Still_bloom (feat. cohen_noise) - benzodope
2far2jump - Give Me A Moment
Flub - Paracosm
Bonginator - CHOPPED 2 PIECES
Fortune Child - All I Wanna Know
Sins of Sincerity - The Comeback
Graves End - Vampyre
The Hero and a Monster (feat. Convictions) - Wounds
Destroy//Create - Your Ghost...(été un)
Heaviyside (feat. SIME) - Haywire
Puzzled to Pieces - Disbelief
Complacent - Omen
Inflict - red
SPAWN - RIP ROACH
Excodex - Hadley's Hope
Red Tail - Get Back In Line
Promethee - Rot
FiveByFive (feat. Dropout Kings) - KO
Dusk (feat. Aaron Harris) - Lethal Perspective
Apex Alpha - Lex Talionis
Among The Stars - Zero Sum
Underminer - Monologue
Those Once Loyal - Second Hand Smoke
Sellies - My Last Smile
Angel Abaya - Over / On / Under
Our Last Crusade - Thulcandra
Seconds Ago - Soul Sick
Heredes - The Next World
A Serpent's Hand - Tears of Agony
LECHFACE - Gross
2023.01.02 16:37 InverseFlash State of the Sub - 1/2/2023
The other mods went out to lunch, so I locked them out of the office. I also tipped their waiter to spill at least one bowl of clam chowder into a lap. Time for the State of the Sub!
We’ve introduced the Matchmaking tag. Use this tag when you’ve got a good idea for one side of a fight, but you’re not sure who to pit them against. Consider writing “Who is a good match for…” instead of “Who’s the strongest/weakest…” when writing Matchmaker posts.
We think it’s a pretty subtle change, but it gives you all a new tool to classify this kind of thread, and it focuses that style of conversation towards the core theme of the sub: setting up hypothetical combat and competition.
submitted by InverseFlash to whowouldwin [link] [comments]
Wiki Overhaul
As I'm sure that nobody noticed, our subreddit has a wiki, like most others. It's been left with minimal maintenance to keep it going, but for the last couple of months I've been working on an enormous overhaul of every page, modernizing and cleaning up all around. So go check it out! Here's some easy links to the major pages.- Index - Best place to window shop.
- Welcome Page - Cult induction takes place here.
- Flairs - For acquiring your own user flair, or descriptions on what post flairs mean.
- Post Template - The most preferable way to write up a battle.
- Rules - If you need to familiarize yourself (or someone else) with the rules.
- Special Links - Other subs in our network…but they mainly just tell people to come here.
- Terminology - A dictionary for the terms battleboarding has made up.
- Tutorials - Subjective guidelines for how to be respected.
- Archive - Amateur Hour - Primordial events from the sub's genesis.
- Archive - Features - The snazzy characters and teams on the sidebar.
- Archive - Graphics - It was too hard to keep these with the Features they belonged to, so they went here. Also, there's banners.
- Archive - "Sell Me On…" - An event which shilled series each week.
- Archive - Tournaments & Hall of Fame - All organized events in the history of the sub, with some statistics to boot.
End of Off-Topic
More of an obituary than an announcement. Meta Monday has largely replaced the Sunday Off-Topic, thanks to low participation in the latter.Matchmaker Flair
Who Would Win is the place for hypothetical combat and competition. You all have been debating Superman vs Goku for 12 years now, and we love you for it. We do our best to keep things on topic. Meta Monday gives folks a place to make posts that aren’t strictly a “who would win” battle, and partner subs like /respectthreads/ give folks a place to hype up specific characters. However, there is one popular post type that always existed in a gray area, you all may recognize it. Here is an example:“Who is the strongest character that a sapient banana with the ability to fly and fire a heat beam capable of boring through 10” of solid steel could defeat?”Posts that ask “who’s the strongest/weakest” are a very old tradition here, but they have always technically broken our rule about no fights that challenge “all of fiction.” On the one hand, we really put a lot of work into keeping the sub on topic. On the other, these threads are popular and people do love creating and discussing them. So, we’re introducing a slight change.
We’ve introduced the Matchmaking tag. Use this tag when you’ve got a good idea for one side of a fight, but you’re not sure who to pit them against. Consider writing “Who is a good match for…” instead of “Who’s the strongest/weakest…” when writing Matchmaker posts.
We think it’s a pretty subtle change, but it gives you all a new tool to classify this kind of thread, and it focuses that style of conversation towards the core theme of the sub: setting up hypothetical combat and competition.
Concerns About Quality
As a general reminder, we try our best, but we aren't a complete catch-all to negativity. It's a lot easier to glance at a post and tell if it doesn't belong on this sub than it is to check the comments of every post. So, don't be afraid to use the report button. It makes our job simpler and keeps posts cleaner.Ideas to Improve?
What are some of your ideas on how we can better the sub? One that I've had is getting text flairs working on new reddit, but those have to be personalized for every user, as far as I know. We do have image flairs in old reddit which are easy to get, you'd just run into the problem of 5% of the sub using old reddit. If you want to check one of those out, go here2022.12.22 02:25 bitter_vet This woman's death -- completely superflous!
 | submitted by bitter_vet to howardstern [link] [comments] |
2022.12.16 22:52 Purtle [PIL] #791 12/16/2022
Purtle's Internet Lineup for December 16th, 2022! 4:52pm
Pics:
submitted by Purtle to Purtle [link] [comments]
Pics:
- With a new Armoured Core announced at last we're sure a lot of people are wondering how to play the original series of games. So here's a handy list showing which of them are available on contemporary platforms! https://twitter.com/FeoUltima/status/1602779993339318273
- The billion lions vs. one of every Pokémon debate is old, we need to start asking the real questions: https://twitter.com/UltimaShadowX/status/1603513611074387968
- watching this woman go through every emotion the human body could muster at 10am https://twitter.com/GaoRush/status/1603767186928963584
- Kirbys News
- The festive season has arrived in Dream Land and Kirby has a gift for everyone! Read along #5 https://twitter.com/NintendoAmerica/status/1603827672865439753
- YT version [4:29] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys5-leLqNR0
- Pokemon news
- It's Day Four of PokémonShockInJapan! Today, I've got full translations of all ten (!!!) of the blog entries that series organizer Takeshi Shudo wrote about the incident back in 2008!
- HUGE ANIME NEWS
- It been discussed and predicted, but it's finally here. The plans for the anime future. Ash is GONE
- An all-new Pokémon series has been announced!Join 2 new characters and 3 Paldea starter Pokémon as they adventure through the Pokémon world! Plus, commemorate Ash’s journey with special episodes concluding Pokémon Ultimate Journeys: The Series. Coming soon in 2023 and beyond! https://twitter.com/Pokemon/status/1603699094689652736
- RECAP: Pokémon Journeys has ended.- Ash is leaving the anime.- An 11 episode series begins January 13 which concludes Ash’s journey.- The Scarlet & Violet series begins in April with two new protagonists.- Next week is a special episode featuring AU Ash. https://twitter.com/AnipokeHub/status/1603705378944212992
- New Trailer for ash & pikachu 25th anniversary special https://twitter.com/PokeAnipokeAni/status/1603716406134054912
- Translation of anipoke "Aim to be a Pokémon Master" from the official website [thanks Dogasu!] https://twitter.com/DogasusBackpack/status/1603705478592499712
- "In these [11] epiodes, Ash will be joined by his former traveling companions like Misty & Brock as they go around from region to region, meeting Pokemon they had formed strong bonds with and/or gotten in the past. An Adventure full of exceitment and drama is about to unfurl!"
- So meeting butterfree, Pidgeotto, Primeape, Lapras and others that have been let free in the past is my guess.
- Not sure where this screenshot comes from. but it's him meeting butterfree! https://twitter.com/otsk_poke/status/1603696511157940224
- The "Aim to be a pokemon master" special poster is an homage to the FIRST promotional poster for the original series anime.https://twitter.com/Moonbyum1/status/1603701756969500672
- Final chapter https://twitter.com/AnipokeFandom/status/1603704484433395712
- from a reddit comment - information on the new characters:Riko(Female Protag): Came from the Kanto region to Paldea to hone her skills taking care of Pokemon, She didn't want to talk about her parents much. Roi(Male Protag): Paldean Native and want to be the best PokeChef in the world, His quest is to discover Herba Mystica
- Folks are predicting the girl is Ashs daughter, others that Ash is just her role model as she is from Kanto
- girls hair clip is like ash's OG hat https://twitter.com/Akilvers/status/1603704854127550467
- hair is dark like ash, eyes are blue like serena https://twitter.com/rex_shadao/status/1603712519964463105
- A Message from Sarah Natochenny, voice actor for Ash Ketchum in English https://twitter.com/sarahnatochenny/status/1603708640418222080
- she also posted this video https://twitter.com/sarahnatochenny/status/1603786620284665857
- reddit thread on the announcements https://old.reddit.com/pokemon/comments/znbkux/new_pokemon_anime_announced_ash_no_longe
- The butterfree picture came from: today's OP, everyone's "after" of the new series Pokemon! ! https://twitter.com/AndToOurOwnWay/status/1603704070752964609
- After 25 years, Ash finally reunited with his Butterfree https://twitter.com/JEM__stones/status/1603699354682163200
- The cynic in me wonders if all these announcements coming today are an attempt to distract everyone from the fact that today's the 25th anniversary of the Pokémon Shock incident https://twitter.com/DogasusBackpack/status/1603707453178523648
- cool idea: "This also sets up a great crossover in 10 years time when this batch of heroes has to face against the old guard...ASH! It'll be legendary"
- slime is a menace https://twitter.com/slime_machine/status/1603291387700514816
- Jobs in Game Development [Team Management] Sakurai [7:05] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hk2npGxEQRo
- Triathlon my way to work - Beau Miles [9:10] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k-v-0w8PZU
- The History of Lego Star Wars World Records - Summoning Salt [1:31:49] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W72cyc5sESo
- Donkey Kong 64 - Dunkey [5:25] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDRFOYRTT04
- Barbie movie teaser trailer [1:14] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zIf0XvoL9Y
- 3D Scanning Retro Kirby Toys - Kirby (holding item) [4:00] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbM8XUhjcE0&feature=youtu.be
- This 1994 keshi figure from Sora_Sakurai's Kirby's Adventure is letting holiday stress get to him. He's feeling less "poyo!" and more "PO'd!" https://twitter.com/KeshiCornestatus/1603766912516767744
- Wetumpka City PD recently busted a pair of notorious local CAT-FEEDING banditos in their local area. These banditos were two local ladies voluntarily using their free-time trying to be DO-GOODERS in their local community. Wetumpka City & their cops weren't having any of that! [video] https://old.reddit.com/PublicFreakout/comments/znfo02/wetumpka_city_pd_recently_busted_a_pair_of/
- Twitter suspends journalists who have been covering Elon Musk and the company https://old.reddit.com/news/comments/zn29e2/twitter_suspends_journalists_who_have_been/
- Someone covering all the different journalists who have been suspended [thread] https://twitter.com/oneunderscore__/status/1603551884748460034
- Elon Musk's poll doesn't go as planned so he redoes it and it goes even worse. https://old.reddit.com/facepalm/comments/znauys/elon_musks_poll_doesnt_go_as_planned_so_he_redoes/
- Elon confronted about why journalist are being removed for reporting on the ElonJet story(eventually rage quits and records removed from platform) https://old.reddit.com/videos/comments/zn8mgt/elon_confronted_about_why_journalist_are_being/
- He deleted the Spaces function from Twitter immediately after this https://twitter.com/halomancer1/status/1603648111213416450
- elon musk suspending journalists for reporting news on him https://twitter.com/cit_uprising/status/1603575560902529026
- More than 7 million incorrect diagnoses made in US emergency rooms every year, government report finds https://old.reddit.com/science/comments/zn5n1q/more_than_7_million_incorrect_diagnoses_made_in/
- Politicians in Europe are picking up on the Nintendo cancellation and are asking questions if game companies should have the final say in who gets to run tournaments. https://www.pressfire.no/artikkel/ber-regjeringen-svare-etter-pressfire-kronikk
- Four SEGA Genesis games have been made available for #NintendoSwitchOnline + Expansion Pack members! Golden Axe II, Alien Storm, Columns, Virtua Fighter 2 https://twitter.com/NintendoAmerica/status/1603556374478192643
- Amazon in final talks for the rights to a Warhammer 40,000 series adaptation, with Henry Cavill attached to star and executive produce https://twitter.com/Wario64/status/1603560656828932096
- Henry Cavill is officially attached to star in and exec produce a live-action ‘WARHAMMER 40,000’ series. Amazon is in final talks to acquire the series. https://twitter.com/DiscussingFilm/status/1603559780005683201
- The recent Twitter meltdown reminds me of the last leg of Freenode, an Open-Source IRC network. It has been subject to a hostile takeover, and the new "owner" tried to force "free speech" rules onto everyone... [thread] https://twitter.com/Sosowski/status/1603691511778091008
- amiibo for DLC fighters Kazuya and Sephiroth will be released on 1/13/23. [clip] https://twitter.com/NintendoAmerica/status/1603194052689776641
- Donald Glover is set to star in and produce ‘HYPNO-HUSTLER’, a new Spider-Man villain spin-off film. https://twitter.com/DiscussingFilm/status/1603858054566535180
- Tweeting as an image because Twitter now seems to be blocking Mastodon links altogether. Maybe I'll get to send part 2 of this message, maybe not. Pretty disingenuous to flag ALL links to Mastodon as "this link has been ID'd by Twitter or partners as being potentially harmful." https://twitter.com/briankrebs/status/1603578869553971200
- found a screenshot of the lost "Married...With Children" point and click adventure game, I had no idea this was real and not just a licensing announcement https://twitter.com/frankcifaldi/status/1603496434803699712
- So I found the producer's name in a magazine, realized they misspelled it, found the real name on MobyGames, found his Wikipedia entry, and found out he unfortunately died 10 years ago. And the reference for his death was an obituary......written by me. The world is small.
- Riffusion, real-time music generation with stable diffusion https://twitter.com/_akhaliq/status/1603411250389700611
- Come one, come all, to the Steam Winter Sale - starting December 22nd, pick up discounts on thousands of games, vote in the Steam Awards, and earn badges and stickers! Make a list and check it twice - the Winter Sale will be here in less than a week! https://twitter.com/Steam/status/1603840615640625152
2022.12.10 19:06 HighwayCorsair Blackthorn - Human Abattoir [Mexico, 1992][FFO: Death, Mortuary, Obituary]
![Blackthorn - Human Abattoir [Mexico, 1992][FFO: Death, Mortuary, Obituary]](https://external-preview.redd.it/8BfpuDgBCpmxF8hdEsVBDnRp6nHVjk2GRIV-T4sDyqs.jpg?width=320&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=b6f412430185d1252e6246cb3fe3378a58ab3d9e "Blackthorn - Human Abattoir [Mexico, 1992][FFO: Death, Mortuary, Obituary]") | submitted by HighwayCorsair to Deathmetal [link] [comments] |
2022.12.07 05:43 ruKawin Tuesday, 6th December 2022
 | The Daily Spin. The Tikulme Tuesday Edition. Reports and rumors, rumors and reports. This is what mainstream journalism has arrived at, since rumors can’t be “fake news” and reports well… if you have a single bone of statistician in you, then you know how easy it is to reframe and present results to the narrative of your choosing. Analysts, charts, and even artificial intelligence point towards the likelihood that the “bottom is in.” Then Jim Cramer comes out to say that everyone should sell their crypto – giving definitive hard evidence that perhaps, we’re on our way up. Can’t argue with Jim Cramer, just always do the opposite of what he says. The other big topic on the rumor mill is all about the “Twitter coin” and whether Elon is going to choose a new dog or old one for it. Oh, and an insider who posted confirming Twitter’s work towards integration of a cryptocurrency was taken off the internet, CIA black-bag over your head style. She’s been “deplatformed” from every social media channel and is currently experiencing “online death.” She’s gone. Could happen to anyone, like when Bobby Fisher decided to go live in a cabin in the woods and preemptively deleted all of his online accounts. Freedom of speech? An illusion. submitted by ruKawin to CoinwebDailySpin [link] [comments] Miners are still seeing red, Ethereum goes inflationary, Consensys launches a new web3 magazine. European Central Bank blog issues a Bitcoin obituary, over $80bn in debt is estimated to be hidden within FX Swaps, and US Congress invites SBF for a chat only to get a cold shoulder. Stablecoin issuer Circle cancels plans to go public, Nexo bows out from the US market citing regulatory uncertainty. And the most trending topic buzzing around the web space is about ChatBot-GPT3 – check out some of the things OpenAI has said about cryptocurrencies …here is our round-up of curated news and opinions (surely biased) from the world of Blockchain, keeping you informed of the most trending, in-the-know, and controversial topics. In the name of transparent, information dissemination to keep you curious, inspired, and clinically sane… Ongoings at Coinweb It’s OK to Meetup Bangkok 2022, Nov 27 (Bangkok) https://www.linkedin.com/posts/rukawin_thailand-blockchain-genesis-activity-7002871111134707712-YiCT?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop Crypto AM Summit and Awards, Nov 23-24 (London) https://twitter.com/tobycoinweb/status/1595909263263662081?s=46&t=V-EQfqnAOG7fXAWZ3sMk1Q “Understanding the Great Crypto Tradeoff” by Toby Gilbert https://dailyhodl.com/2022/11/16/understanding-the-great-crypto-tradeoff/ “The Time is Now for Blockchain” article on Times of Malta https://timesofmalta.com/articles/view/time-now-blockchain-a2.994854 Toby’s full presentation at Token2049-London https://youtu.be/pdtKx3vAs9c Latest Video Release: Why Crypto Will Always Come Back (4mins) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Yl8Vwu4iNM Cryptomanran (CryptoBanter) comes by Coinweb booth at Token2049 https://youtu.be/RSZ3szjBHa0?t=779 Digital Assets Week, Nov 15-16 Toby joins “Tech for Institutional Grade Digital Assets” Panel with R3 and State Street https://coinweb.io/events/london-invasion-part-2-digital-assets-week/ “Overlay Networks in Blockchain” thread published by Kawin on Twitter https://twitter.com/rukawin/status/1585548192761856000?s=46&t=7I6cq6_CPaQuHqwEBk0wTg Coinweb Fireside Chat Series, “Happy Halloweb3” Oct 27 (Bangkok) Panel Discussion Audio Recording Feat. Coinbase, Binance, and McKinsey (47mins): https://open.spotify.com/episode/175CCj57qgfy8Hd5Ft5poy?si=h4WghWcOQnutGohTrDcGNA 'Bridging The Gap Between Speculation And Fundamental Value In Digital Assets' at the Vietnam Blockchain Summit 2022 https://t.co/fvordozLxZ On the Radar PlayToEarn Blockchain Game Awards 2022 (Public Voting Dec 1-29) https://cryptoslate.com/press-releases/playtoearn-blockchain-game-awards-2022-announced-with-10k-in-prizes/ The EU Strategy for Cryptoassets, Dec 5 (London) https://ecorys.idloom.events/the-eu-strategy-for-cryptoassets/pages/programme RadFi2022, Dec 8 (Virtual) Polygon Guild Meetup, Dec 8 (Bangkok) World Blockchain Summit, Dec 8-9 (Bangkok) https://worldblockchainsummit.com/bangkok/ Gam3 Awards, Dec 15 (Virtual) World Crypto Conference, Jan 13-15 (Zurich) https://worldcryptoconference.org/ European Blockchain Convention, Feb 15-17 (Barcelona) Interop Summit, Feb 20-22 (Miami) On the Block(chain) Crypto Market Analysis: Consumer Savings Rate Suggests Continued Calm in Bitcoin Prices https://www.coindesk.com/markets/2022/12/05/crypto-market-analysis-consumer-savings-rate-suggests-continued-calm-in-bitcoin-prices/ Bitcoin Mining Difficulty Drops Most Since July 2021 as Crypto Winter Cuts Profitability https://www.coindesk.com/tech/2022/12/06/bitcoin-mining-difficulty-drops-most-since-july-2021-as-crypto-winter-cuts-profitability/ Introducing Consensus Magazine: Putting Web3 in Perspective https://www.coindesk.com/consensus-magazine/2022/12/05/introducing-consensus-magazine-putting-web3-in-perspective/ Over 66% of the total Bitcoin supply hasn’t moved in the last one year, setting a record https://cryptoslate.com/over-66-of-the-total-bitcoin-supply-hasnt-moved-in-the-last-one-year-setting-a-record/ Gemini formed an ad hoc committee to advocate for a solution for Earn users amid suspension of withdrawals https://cryptoslate.com/gemini-formed-an-ad-hoc-committee-to-advocate-for-a-solution-for-earn-users-amid-suspension-of-withdrawals/ Bitcoin in Midst of Multi-Month Accumulation Bottom Despite FTX Debacle: On-Chain Analyst Willy Woo https://dailyhodl.com/2022/12/05/bitcoin-in-midst-of-multi-month-accumulation-bottom-despite-ftx-debacle-on-chain-analyst-willy-woo/ Algorithm Known for Outpacing Crypto Markets Goes Fully Risk On, Favoring Ethereum, Polygon and One ETH Rival https://dailyhodl.com/2022/12/05/algorithm-known-for-outpacing-crypto-markets-goes-fully-risk-on-favoring-ethereum-polygon-and-one-eth-rival/ Ether Turns Inflationary as Network Usage Slows https://finance.yahoo.com/news/ether-turns-inflationary-network-usage-011302069.html Competitive Landscape Twitter rumors of crypto integration circulating https://cryptoslate.com/twitter-rumors-of-crypto-integration-circulating/ Elon Musk Says Bringing Crypto to Twitter Is a ‘No Brainer’ As Social Media Altcoin Rumors Spread https://dailyhodl.com/2022/12/05/elon-musk-says-bringing-crypto-to-twitter-is-a-no-brainer-as-social-media-altcoin-rumors-spread/ Stablecoin usage remain high despite crypto winter https://cryptoslate.com/stablecoin-usage-remain-high-despite-crypto-winte DeFi Risk-Sharing Protocol Nexus Expects Loss on Maple Credit Pool Investment as FTX Contagion Widens https://www.coindesk.com/markets/2022/12/05/defi-risk-sharing-protocol-nexus-expects-loss-on-maple-credit-pool-investment-as-ftx-contagion-widens/ Podcast: Stablecoin Issuer Circle Scratches Plan to Go Public; Reddit's Avatar Tokens Set Minting Record (24 mins) https://www.coindesk.com/podcasts/coindesk-podcast-network/stablecoin-issuer-circle-scratches-plan-to-go-public-reddits-avatar-tokens-set-minting-record/ Infura co-founder: MetaMask IP collection backlash is blown out of proportion https://cryptoslate.com/infura-co-founder-metamask-ip-collection-backlash-is-blown-out-of-proportion/ Nexo bows out of US on regulatory uncertainty https://cryptoslate.com/nexo-bows-out-of-us-cites-regulatory-uncertainty/ World Built With Bitcoin Foundation Opens New Technology Center in Ghana https://www.coindesk.com/business/2022/12/05/built-with-bitcoin-foundation-opens-new-technology-center-in-ghana/ A European Central Bank Blog Decries the End of Bitcoin, and We Aren’t Buying It https://www.coindesk.com/business/2022/12/04/a-european-central-bank-blog-decries-the-end-of-bitcoin-and-we-arent-buying-it/ OpenAI on how it would destroy the crypto industry if it were assigned the task to do so https://twitter.com/AltcoinPsycho/status/1598742302050357248?s=20&t=viczeKyNDuQNsNaZ4F1U5g FX swap debt a $80 trillion 'blind spot' global regulator says https://www.reuters.com/markets/currencies/global-markets-bis-urgent-2022-12-05/ U.S. House Committee says SBF has sufficient knowledge to testify https://cryptoslate.com/u-s-house-committee-says-sbf-has-sufficient-knowledge-to-testify/ Thought Leadership 6 Industries That Will Be Transformed by NFTs https://medium.com/galaxisxyz/6-industries-that-will-be-transformed-by-nfts-81d7b5f49b9 An Interview with Minima (mobile native L1) Co-Founder Paddy Cerri https://www.coindesk.com/sponsored-content/an-interview-with-minima-co-founder-paddy-cerri/ Presenting CoinDesk's Most Influential 2022 https://www.coindesk.com/consensus-magazine/2022/12/05/coindesks-most-influential-2022/ Jim Cramer urges investors to exit crypto – ‘it’s never too late to sell’ https://www.cnbc.com/2022/12/05/jim-cramer-urges-investors-to-exit-crypto-its-never-too-late-too-sell.html https://preview.redd.it/eoie7fs6oe4a1.png?width=651&format=png&auto=webp&s=0036f73a2da8c67be4bb05cfb64c6f1904f4724e |
2022.12.05 20:27 jookco Cause of Death - Obituary : It is with a heavy heart that we mourn the passing of the legendary Devere Fair, whom our stadium is named after. His visitation will be at Jones Mortuary, Friday, Dec 9th from 4-8PM. Devere Fair Stadium will have its stadium lights on that night. Nobody loved DC more....
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2022.12.01 17:54 ooweeoowee Behold !!!
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2022.11.18 19:58 Pretend-Television42 Help Me Find More About My Grandpa (Pictures)
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2022.11.17 12:58 tunuvfun Question about Lack of a Public Death Notice
TL;DR: Do morticians take offense if you ask them to forward letters to survivors?
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I'm posting in morticians because municipal as well as state officials in California suggested calling funeral homes with the question. I'm not a Californian and understand how overburdened the state is dealing with Covid + other deaths. Its Vital Statistics site suggests proof of death may be found more readily by contacting county officials.
A person I never met was recently reported dead in CA--elderly but (supposedly) not infirm. Spouse reportedly found him dead upon returning from work. The deceased appears to have married many people, one of whom I'm related to. The small amount of details I possess come via this relative, via the deceased's estranged adult child. Deceased seems to have had an unusual number of marriages and pride in being a "known associate" back in the day in Southern California and other states.
The death was alleged to have occurred the beginning of November, but there has been a lack of an obituary in the town's single newspaper or on any of the half-dozen mortuary sites in the vicinity. (I realize obituaries aren't mandatory.) At the time of his death, deceased was believed to still be keeping in storage across the country my family belongings, of little-to-no monetary value but with great personal meaning. An acrimonious divorce followed.
Because the number of his marriages (bigamous or otherwise) to foreign women suggests an understandable rush on his "estate," and because my family nightmare with this person occurred a decade ago, his current spouse might not have knowledge of the storage facility or, more to the point, if her husband was still paying monthly rent on it. All I and my feckless relative want to know is if family possessions are still intact and not long ago at some dump.
Would an email or letter addressed to the half-dozen morticians in the town where he is reported to have died be regarded as an annoyance? At the same time my relative ascertained his death via the estranged adult daughter, I phoned a random county where a kind worker also confirmed it. But oddly (at least oddly to me), the county I first contacted based on my relative's hunch would not confirm it. This county is much smaller than the "helpful" county, but I wonder if the brusque reception I got might be what I should expect if I were to contact morticians.
Finally, it was only after I mentioned the deceased's name that the official's phone manner changed--changed markedly, from helpful to someone at a great distance semi-suspicious of my motives. I asked no details at all and just wanted to confirm whether the death had occurred. Given the deceased's colorful life and the lack of a public notice, I'm wondering if my family's "heart heirlooms" should not just be written off, in the event the lack of obituary indicates an inquest is ongoing.
But to be told even to go to H*ll by a spouse neither I nor his former spouse know would still give a degree of weird closure.
Thank you.
submitted by tunuvfun to morticians [link] [comments]
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I'm posting in morticians because municipal as well as state officials in California suggested calling funeral homes with the question. I'm not a Californian and understand how overburdened the state is dealing with Covid + other deaths. Its Vital Statistics site suggests proof of death may be found more readily by contacting county officials.
A person I never met was recently reported dead in CA--elderly but (supposedly) not infirm. Spouse reportedly found him dead upon returning from work. The deceased appears to have married many people, one of whom I'm related to. The small amount of details I possess come via this relative, via the deceased's estranged adult child. Deceased seems to have had an unusual number of marriages and pride in being a "known associate" back in the day in Southern California and other states.
The death was alleged to have occurred the beginning of November, but there has been a lack of an obituary in the town's single newspaper or on any of the half-dozen mortuary sites in the vicinity. (I realize obituaries aren't mandatory.) At the time of his death, deceased was believed to still be keeping in storage across the country my family belongings, of little-to-no monetary value but with great personal meaning. An acrimonious divorce followed.
Because the number of his marriages (bigamous or otherwise) to foreign women suggests an understandable rush on his "estate," and because my family nightmare with this person occurred a decade ago, his current spouse might not have knowledge of the storage facility or, more to the point, if her husband was still paying monthly rent on it. All I and my feckless relative want to know is if family possessions are still intact and not long ago at some dump.
Would an email or letter addressed to the half-dozen morticians in the town where he is reported to have died be regarded as an annoyance? At the same time my relative ascertained his death via the estranged adult daughter, I phoned a random county where a kind worker also confirmed it. But oddly (at least oddly to me), the county I first contacted based on my relative's hunch would not confirm it. This county is much smaller than the "helpful" county, but I wonder if the brusque reception I got might be what I should expect if I were to contact morticians.
Finally, it was only after I mentioned the deceased's name that the official's phone manner changed--changed markedly, from helpful to someone at a great distance semi-suspicious of my motives. I asked no details at all and just wanted to confirm whether the death had occurred. Given the deceased's colorful life and the lack of a public notice, I'm wondering if my family's "heart heirlooms" should not just be written off, in the event the lack of obituary indicates an inquest is ongoing.
But to be told even to go to H*ll by a spouse neither I nor his former spouse know would still give a degree of weird closure.
Thank you.