Winona lake community church
Duluth Reddit
2010.08.28 23:44 plaig Duluth Reddit
Subreddit for Duluth Minnesota, the Zenith City.
2015.01.04 08:31 vanjan14 La Crescent, MN
A place for people who live or have lived in or near La Crescent, MN to discuss news, issues, and community events!
2023.06.04 19:48 lets-split-up I went on a cruise, and all the passengers were dead…
If I’d only followed my instincts, I’d never have boarded that doomed ship. When the Azure Seastar left port, its passengers were all alive, each with smart phones and watches and tablets, as well as the cruise ship’s own communications… yet not a single message was sent before it went missing! No distress call.
The fates of over a thousand passengers and crew remain unknown, with only a handful recovered from a lifeboat, days after the Seastar herself vanished. But the coast guard’s only statement on the lifeboat’s recovery was that “the passengers did not survive.” Rumors circulated about a “thermos full of eyeballs” and a “passenger whose mouth was stuffed full of severed fingers”—but these details have been denounced as lies, sensationalizing and capitalizing on a tragedy.
The official cause of the Seastar’s disappearance is a rogue wave. No survivors. No witnesses.
Well… one witness…
… but perhaps I shouldn’t tell. Better for the world if that ship stay lost forever!
The families of the missing, however, deserve the truth… which is why I am posting.
But first, a warning—the gruesome snippets I recounted above barely scratch the surface of the horror I am about to share, some of which I took part in. I wake screaming every night. I sleep with the lights on. I never enter darkened hallways or stairwells. And I do not ever shake hands. Although I’ve always had some quirks (the handshake one is an old habit), most of these are fresh, a consequence of my time aboard that doomed cruise ship. I do not intend to gloss over any details, but rather to give a complete accounting, including of my own involvement… so be forewarned.
And understand that my story is one of unimaginable horror.
***
To explain what really happened aboard the Seastar, I need to first tell a little about myself. Sorry, I know I’m like a bit of decorative wallpaper—just sort of there. But I see things.
It all started when I was very young (I do promise this is relevant). I didn’t want to swim in the community pool with my brother because the water was cloudy, hiding a shadowy figure in the deep end. I distinctly remember standing at the pool’s edge, crying inconsolably while my father urged, “Go on, jump in!”
My brother set the example, diving down to the bottom of the foggy water. When he came up, a silver dollar glinted in his fingers, which he dropped back into the pool before I could snatch it. “Oops! Guess you gotta dive for it!” He laughed, the sun shimmering off his sunburned shoulders. “Come on, there’s quarters down here, too!”
Diving for coins was a game we often played, so I plunged in after him, kicking my way down with my eyes squeezed shut. When my hands grazed the rough cement bottom, I patted around.
Silky hair tangled around my fingers like seaweed.
I forced my eyes open against the stinging chlorine—and shrieked.
Wide, empty eyes stared back at me from a bloated face.
When I shot to the surface, wailing about a dead woman in the water, other swimmers looked on, perplexed. My older brother tried to console me and swore there were nothing but coins.
He was correct—not until a week later would a woman drown in that pool, and sink to the bottom of the foggy water while swimmers unwittingly raced laps above her.
***
The next time I saw was when I threw a tantrum over my grandmother’s armchair. It smelled so bad I grabbed my nose and exclaimed, “Ewwww!”
My parents scolded me for my rudeness. Grandma occasionally struggled with incontinence, so for her chair to stink was, they assumed, the result of an accident. They thought I was exaggerating to make fun of her, but in the sweltering summer, the smell was truly unbearable—like rotting meat and diarrhea and cheap perfume all churned together. I threw such a fit we left, though Grandma insisted on hugging me despite my being an “awful brat.” Her skin was wrinkled, papery-thin and soft as silk, but despite the uncomfortable warmth of her apartment, her embrace was ice cold.
Less than a week later the call came. My grandmother had been found after a neighbor’s complaint about the smell…
She’d died in her chair.
***
But when the seeing really clicked was in my tween years, two separate incidents. The first was after a classmate of my brother’s pulled up in a car reeking of burnt meat, the interior charred and black. He stepped out of the car seeming not to notice that behind him, another version of him remained belted into the front seat, unrecognizable through the char beyond the glint of a gold chain melted into his neck. I burst into hysterical tears and screamed at my brother not to let him drive. The classmate laughed and called me a weirdo.
He crashed later that week.
The second incident began at a school function, where my brother chaperoned me. A man pulled up in the school drop-off zone—he was one of the more popular teachers, famous for his yearly pizza parties. In the car with him were two young kids. I can’t remember their names, just that the littlest boy was giggling and clinging to a toy T-rex when he hopped out. My brother and I were asked to help carry the party supplies and drinks from the teacher’s car. But the moment I opened the passenger door to grab a box, the reek of fetid pond water made my stomach lurch. I staggered back, clapping a hand to my nose and mouth.
“Hey! Everything all right?” the teacher asked.
My brother, no doubt remembering what happened to his classmate weeks earlier, took me aside.
“C-c-c-c-cold!” I burst to him. “D-dark! The smell! Like the rot in the bottom of a lake…”
While I wrung my hands and sniffled, my brother watched the two young kids follow the teacher into the school. He shook my shoulder and said, “Hey—hey, we’re going to save them.”
“How? No one ever believes me!”
“I believe you, Hope. Hey…” He gave me a squeeze and looked in my eyes. “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers…”
What a dork. That line was from Emily Dickinson—my brother’s favorite quote for me for when I was upset. It was corny, but encouraged me.
A few minutes later, we were careening along backwoods roads in the teacher’s car. To this day, I don’t know how my brother got the keys. His plan was we’d stow the car in a garage for a couple weeks, long enough to outlast the vision, since my predictions always came true within about six days. But it hadn’t occurred to either of us how being inside the car would affect me. The damp and rot washed over my skin. COLD. Every hair on my body stood erect, floating as if underwater. I couldn’t breathe… gagging on the fetid water, I rolled down my window. Raindrops from outside pelted my face, and something… something clicked. A sudden terrible question. When I’d peered into the darkened interior, I hadn’t been able to see… who was inside the car?
“Hey,” my brother said, apparently struck by the same thought. “You’re not foreseeing our deaths, are you?”
I don’t know if it was fate that caused us to fishtail just as he spoke. But also he might have hit something, because there was a bump. All I know is suddenly we were flying, off the road and over the side toward a lake, and then plunging, and I snatched for his hand as the impact slammed us forward into the dashboard. Then the water wasn’t just in my mind. It was real. It was pouring in through the car window.
I fought, flailing. Unbuckled. Floundered through the half-open window. Luckily I was still small enough to get through, swimming up and breaking the surface.
“Cory!” I screamed. “CORY!!!”
But I knew already that my brother wasn’t coming up—his hand had been cold when I’d touched it.
***
Naturally, his death feels like my fault. Oh, in kinder moments I remember that I was a child, and try to forgive myself for letting him get behind that wheel. But for a time, I was driven by the fierce need to atone. I sought desperately to save even one life… ANY life. I’d see a body swaying from a beam in a construction site. Legs dangling from a trunk in the car on the highway ahead of me. A suitcase on sale in a luggage store, dripping blood. Every time I tried to prevent the death… only to fail or worse, cause it. Each loss drove home more deeply my shame, my failure… until eventually…
I gave up.
I don’t try to prevent the deaths anymore. These days I catch a whiff of that familiar sickly putrid scent, and I leave. I avoid human touch, especially handshakes.
I’ve truly become wallpaper. Able to see. Powerless to prevent.
My name, incidentally, is Cassandra… I changed it because I could no longer bear my birth name. If “Hope” is the thing with feathers, I was an angel of death, harbinger of doom to my brother and others. So instead I call myself after the Greek priestess doomed to foresee the future but never to be believed… unable to prevent even one single tragedy.
***
But let’s get back to the cruise. The missing passengers. The eyeballs in the thermos—oh, those grisly details! Mind you, once you know you can’t un-know, no matter how much you drink, or smoke, or however you drown your despair. Speaking of drowning, a month ago today, I hit the big 4-O. I celebrated my four decades of life by doing the one thing I’ve done consistently since I was old enough—drinking away my failures. Every icy grip. Every unheeded warning. And especially the times I’ve well and truly fucked up. Oh yes. Those are the ones that call for some hard forgetting.
I was on my second or seventh drink at my favorite bar when a voice exclaimed, “’Evening, friend!”
A woman with shimmering purple eyeliner and matching purple hair approached. It was the musician who often played there, Lily Tsuki. To be honest, she was the primary reason I frequented that bar, though we’d hardly spoken beyond my occasional compliments about her playing. She slid into the seat next to mine and clinked my glass.
“Roy at the bar told me it’s your fortieth. I see you in here once a week, always tipping well and drinking like you’re trying to drown yourself. Someone did something kind for me recently, so I’m trying to pass it on…” She fished a hand into her pocket, and to my surprise produced a gift card for a cruise. I didn’t catch all of her story in the noisy bar, but apparently, one of her admirers was very rich, always offering her gifts verging on inappropriate. After finding out she’d be playing on the Azure Seastar, said admirer sent her the card so she could spoil herself on the cruise. She didn’t feel comfortable accepting, so she gifted it to me. “… There’s enough on there to cover your fare. Don’t thank me—thank you, I needed to get rid of it. Enjoy your fortieth, friend!”
As she handed me the card, her fingers brushed mine.
Warm. Alive.
I mumbled my thanks, cheeks warm. Why? Because she chose me? Blushes! I’m an idiot.
Still, I was glowing, and not just because I was tipsy. Why not? I thought. Why not treat myself, this once? The Azure Seastar… it sounded like a dream. I’d go see Lily Tsuki play at the piano bar against the backdrop of a glimmering ocean. I’d drink under the stars. Get a tan. Get my sea legs! And every hand would be warm and every breath would taste of the summer breeze!
***
Nine decks (eleven including the crew-only levels). Over a thousand people. Pool, bars, restaurants, lounges, cafés, spa, cabaret—the Seastar truly was the Ritz Carlton on the water! I was absolutely giddy! Of course before the luxury came the wait—just like the airport, parking, luggage, ticketing, security. It was as I neared the entrance for ticketing, enjoying the summer breeze, that I caught traces of a sour odor… a whiff of decay… so faint beneath the car exhaust and the smell of the saltwater that I might have missed it, were I not so attuned to death. At port, it was likely some unfortunate animal packed into a shipping crate and decomposing. I’d even read horror stories of people, trafficked in sealed shipping containers and asphyxiating. That faint whiff made my insides curdle.
Then I was inside the air conditioned terminal, packed with passengers—and inhaling nothing but the blessed AC.
The check in was surprisingly quick. I followed the embarkation signs up the escalator to the terminal’s upper level, through the double glass doors, greeted on my right by printed images of pool decks and steaks and wine glasses. On my left, through the enormous paned wall of glass, the Seastar herself loomed. My God, she was enormous!
So many decks! So many balconies!
Then I squinted a little closer. What was that speck? A tiny figure, draped on a railing?
My heart dropped to my toes.
Something was horribly wrong.
The figure, small against the massive width of the ship… had no face. Only a torso and most of its arms. It had been decapitated, and dried blood spattered the rail.
My footsteps slowed. I pressed against the glass, eyes rapidly roving the rest of the ship. Was it just one…? One incidence of violence, or…
Perhaps I wasn’t seeing correctly. It was a stunt. A practical joke. A mannequin. I needed to get closer. I hurried along the terminal, joining the line out to the gangplank.
The bowl of the sky had turned deep purple, the sun lowering toward the horizon, and in the Seastar’s deep shadow, the temperature dropped. A sudden chill gripped me as I trotted out onto the gangplank. I sniffed. Sniffed again, more deeply.
Rot.
The same putrid odor I’d caught outside. A passenger ahead of me noticed me grabbing my nose, and remarked, “Not used to that ocean smell?” I did not respond, because now that I was close enough to see the ship more clearly, I noticed… cracked glass… broken panes in the sliding glass doors of the cabins… no! I gasped, sinking to my knees, and the passenger kindly leaned to help me up. As her hand seized mine—it was cold.
I jerked back so fast I actually collapsed into the passengers behind us—a mother and her daughter.
“Oh!” exclaimed the mother.
My hand brushed the daughter’s bare arm. Cold.
“Are you okay?” asked the daughter, a child of about twelve.
I crawled back from her, and another person, an elderly gentleman, leaned down to help me up, his hand on my elbow. Cold!
“Miss?” he asked. “Miss—” But I bolted, barely hearing their cries as I launched myself back toward the terminal. No no no no no no no no—my eyes watered and my belly bunched into knots and my heart lurched into my throat and oh God oh God—the ship! The whole. Entire. Ship. It was… dark… windows broken… Not a single light shining in the interior, and spatters of blood here and there visible on its decks and balconies… But worst of all was the smell. I hadn’t even entered the ship yet and already I knew, knew, in the way only I can know, that the smell wasn’t just one body or two. Not if I could detect it all the way out on the gangplank. All the way at the entrance to the terminal. For the whiff of putrefaction to have spread so far, the source was something massive. A colossal pile of decomposing bodies like a herd of dead elephants.
That ship… no one on that ship was going to make it back…
As I entered the terminal with its blessed filtered air and the windows between me and the ship, I turned and looked at the line stretching behind me. Passengers laughing. Chatting. Dressed in their finest. Flirting. Teasing. Buzzing with excitement. Old and young couples. Children.
Everyone on this ship is going to die…
... and I’m the only one who knows…
submitted by lets-split-up to nosleep [link] [comments]
The fates of over a thousand passengers and crew remain unknown, with only a handful recovered from a lifeboat, days after the Seastar herself vanished. But the coast guard’s only statement on the lifeboat’s recovery was that “the passengers did not survive.” Rumors circulated about a “thermos full of eyeballs” and a “passenger whose mouth was stuffed full of severed fingers”—but these details have been denounced as lies, sensationalizing and capitalizing on a tragedy.
The official cause of the Seastar’s disappearance is a rogue wave. No survivors. No witnesses.
Well… one witness…
… but perhaps I shouldn’t tell. Better for the world if that ship stay lost forever!
The families of the missing, however, deserve the truth… which is why I am posting.
But first, a warning—the gruesome snippets I recounted above barely scratch the surface of the horror I am about to share, some of which I took part in. I wake screaming every night. I sleep with the lights on. I never enter darkened hallways or stairwells. And I do not ever shake hands. Although I’ve always had some quirks (the handshake one is an old habit), most of these are fresh, a consequence of my time aboard that doomed cruise ship. I do not intend to gloss over any details, but rather to give a complete accounting, including of my own involvement… so be forewarned.
And understand that my story is one of unimaginable horror.
***
To explain what really happened aboard the Seastar, I need to first tell a little about myself. Sorry, I know I’m like a bit of decorative wallpaper—just sort of there. But I see things.
It all started when I was very young (I do promise this is relevant). I didn’t want to swim in the community pool with my brother because the water was cloudy, hiding a shadowy figure in the deep end. I distinctly remember standing at the pool’s edge, crying inconsolably while my father urged, “Go on, jump in!”
My brother set the example, diving down to the bottom of the foggy water. When he came up, a silver dollar glinted in his fingers, which he dropped back into the pool before I could snatch it. “Oops! Guess you gotta dive for it!” He laughed, the sun shimmering off his sunburned shoulders. “Come on, there’s quarters down here, too!”
Diving for coins was a game we often played, so I plunged in after him, kicking my way down with my eyes squeezed shut. When my hands grazed the rough cement bottom, I patted around.
Silky hair tangled around my fingers like seaweed.
I forced my eyes open against the stinging chlorine—and shrieked.
Wide, empty eyes stared back at me from a bloated face.
When I shot to the surface, wailing about a dead woman in the water, other swimmers looked on, perplexed. My older brother tried to console me and swore there were nothing but coins.
He was correct—not until a week later would a woman drown in that pool, and sink to the bottom of the foggy water while swimmers unwittingly raced laps above her.
***
The next time I saw was when I threw a tantrum over my grandmother’s armchair. It smelled so bad I grabbed my nose and exclaimed, “Ewwww!”
My parents scolded me for my rudeness. Grandma occasionally struggled with incontinence, so for her chair to stink was, they assumed, the result of an accident. They thought I was exaggerating to make fun of her, but in the sweltering summer, the smell was truly unbearable—like rotting meat and diarrhea and cheap perfume all churned together. I threw such a fit we left, though Grandma insisted on hugging me despite my being an “awful brat.” Her skin was wrinkled, papery-thin and soft as silk, but despite the uncomfortable warmth of her apartment, her embrace was ice cold.
Less than a week later the call came. My grandmother had been found after a neighbor’s complaint about the smell…
She’d died in her chair.
***
But when the seeing really clicked was in my tween years, two separate incidents. The first was after a classmate of my brother’s pulled up in a car reeking of burnt meat, the interior charred and black. He stepped out of the car seeming not to notice that behind him, another version of him remained belted into the front seat, unrecognizable through the char beyond the glint of a gold chain melted into his neck. I burst into hysterical tears and screamed at my brother not to let him drive. The classmate laughed and called me a weirdo.
He crashed later that week.
The second incident began at a school function, where my brother chaperoned me. A man pulled up in the school drop-off zone—he was one of the more popular teachers, famous for his yearly pizza parties. In the car with him were two young kids. I can’t remember their names, just that the littlest boy was giggling and clinging to a toy T-rex when he hopped out. My brother and I were asked to help carry the party supplies and drinks from the teacher’s car. But the moment I opened the passenger door to grab a box, the reek of fetid pond water made my stomach lurch. I staggered back, clapping a hand to my nose and mouth.
“Hey! Everything all right?” the teacher asked.
My brother, no doubt remembering what happened to his classmate weeks earlier, took me aside.
“C-c-c-c-cold!” I burst to him. “D-dark! The smell! Like the rot in the bottom of a lake…”
While I wrung my hands and sniffled, my brother watched the two young kids follow the teacher into the school. He shook my shoulder and said, “Hey—hey, we’re going to save them.”
“How? No one ever believes me!”
“I believe you, Hope. Hey…” He gave me a squeeze and looked in my eyes. “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers…”
What a dork. That line was from Emily Dickinson—my brother’s favorite quote for me for when I was upset. It was corny, but encouraged me.
A few minutes later, we were careening along backwoods roads in the teacher’s car. To this day, I don’t know how my brother got the keys. His plan was we’d stow the car in a garage for a couple weeks, long enough to outlast the vision, since my predictions always came true within about six days. But it hadn’t occurred to either of us how being inside the car would affect me. The damp and rot washed over my skin. COLD. Every hair on my body stood erect, floating as if underwater. I couldn’t breathe… gagging on the fetid water, I rolled down my window. Raindrops from outside pelted my face, and something… something clicked. A sudden terrible question. When I’d peered into the darkened interior, I hadn’t been able to see… who was inside the car?
“Hey,” my brother said, apparently struck by the same thought. “You’re not foreseeing our deaths, are you?”
I don’t know if it was fate that caused us to fishtail just as he spoke. But also he might have hit something, because there was a bump. All I know is suddenly we were flying, off the road and over the side toward a lake, and then plunging, and I snatched for his hand as the impact slammed us forward into the dashboard. Then the water wasn’t just in my mind. It was real. It was pouring in through the car window.
I fought, flailing. Unbuckled. Floundered through the half-open window. Luckily I was still small enough to get through, swimming up and breaking the surface.
“Cory!” I screamed. “CORY!!!”
But I knew already that my brother wasn’t coming up—his hand had been cold when I’d touched it.
***
Naturally, his death feels like my fault. Oh, in kinder moments I remember that I was a child, and try to forgive myself for letting him get behind that wheel. But for a time, I was driven by the fierce need to atone. I sought desperately to save even one life… ANY life. I’d see a body swaying from a beam in a construction site. Legs dangling from a trunk in the car on the highway ahead of me. A suitcase on sale in a luggage store, dripping blood. Every time I tried to prevent the death… only to fail or worse, cause it. Each loss drove home more deeply my shame, my failure… until eventually…
I gave up.
I don’t try to prevent the deaths anymore. These days I catch a whiff of that familiar sickly putrid scent, and I leave. I avoid human touch, especially handshakes.
I’ve truly become wallpaper. Able to see. Powerless to prevent.
My name, incidentally, is Cassandra… I changed it because I could no longer bear my birth name. If “Hope” is the thing with feathers, I was an angel of death, harbinger of doom to my brother and others. So instead I call myself after the Greek priestess doomed to foresee the future but never to be believed… unable to prevent even one single tragedy.
***
But let’s get back to the cruise. The missing passengers. The eyeballs in the thermos—oh, those grisly details! Mind you, once you know you can’t un-know, no matter how much you drink, or smoke, or however you drown your despair. Speaking of drowning, a month ago today, I hit the big 4-O. I celebrated my four decades of life by doing the one thing I’ve done consistently since I was old enough—drinking away my failures. Every icy grip. Every unheeded warning. And especially the times I’ve well and truly fucked up. Oh yes. Those are the ones that call for some hard forgetting.
I was on my second or seventh drink at my favorite bar when a voice exclaimed, “’Evening, friend!”
A woman with shimmering purple eyeliner and matching purple hair approached. It was the musician who often played there, Lily Tsuki. To be honest, she was the primary reason I frequented that bar, though we’d hardly spoken beyond my occasional compliments about her playing. She slid into the seat next to mine and clinked my glass.
“Roy at the bar told me it’s your fortieth. I see you in here once a week, always tipping well and drinking like you’re trying to drown yourself. Someone did something kind for me recently, so I’m trying to pass it on…” She fished a hand into her pocket, and to my surprise produced a gift card for a cruise. I didn’t catch all of her story in the noisy bar, but apparently, one of her admirers was very rich, always offering her gifts verging on inappropriate. After finding out she’d be playing on the Azure Seastar, said admirer sent her the card so she could spoil herself on the cruise. She didn’t feel comfortable accepting, so she gifted it to me. “… There’s enough on there to cover your fare. Don’t thank me—thank you, I needed to get rid of it. Enjoy your fortieth, friend!”
As she handed me the card, her fingers brushed mine.
Warm. Alive.
I mumbled my thanks, cheeks warm. Why? Because she chose me? Blushes! I’m an idiot.
Still, I was glowing, and not just because I was tipsy. Why not? I thought. Why not treat myself, this once? The Azure Seastar… it sounded like a dream. I’d go see Lily Tsuki play at the piano bar against the backdrop of a glimmering ocean. I’d drink under the stars. Get a tan. Get my sea legs! And every hand would be warm and every breath would taste of the summer breeze!
***
Nine decks (eleven including the crew-only levels). Over a thousand people. Pool, bars, restaurants, lounges, cafés, spa, cabaret—the Seastar truly was the Ritz Carlton on the water! I was absolutely giddy! Of course before the luxury came the wait—just like the airport, parking, luggage, ticketing, security. It was as I neared the entrance for ticketing, enjoying the summer breeze, that I caught traces of a sour odor… a whiff of decay… so faint beneath the car exhaust and the smell of the saltwater that I might have missed it, were I not so attuned to death. At port, it was likely some unfortunate animal packed into a shipping crate and decomposing. I’d even read horror stories of people, trafficked in sealed shipping containers and asphyxiating. That faint whiff made my insides curdle.
Then I was inside the air conditioned terminal, packed with passengers—and inhaling nothing but the blessed AC.
The check in was surprisingly quick. I followed the embarkation signs up the escalator to the terminal’s upper level, through the double glass doors, greeted on my right by printed images of pool decks and steaks and wine glasses. On my left, through the enormous paned wall of glass, the Seastar herself loomed. My God, she was enormous!
So many decks! So many balconies!
Then I squinted a little closer. What was that speck? A tiny figure, draped on a railing?
My heart dropped to my toes.
Something was horribly wrong.
The figure, small against the massive width of the ship… had no face. Only a torso and most of its arms. It had been decapitated, and dried blood spattered the rail.
My footsteps slowed. I pressed against the glass, eyes rapidly roving the rest of the ship. Was it just one…? One incidence of violence, or…
Perhaps I wasn’t seeing correctly. It was a stunt. A practical joke. A mannequin. I needed to get closer. I hurried along the terminal, joining the line out to the gangplank.
The bowl of the sky had turned deep purple, the sun lowering toward the horizon, and in the Seastar’s deep shadow, the temperature dropped. A sudden chill gripped me as I trotted out onto the gangplank. I sniffed. Sniffed again, more deeply.
Rot.
The same putrid odor I’d caught outside. A passenger ahead of me noticed me grabbing my nose, and remarked, “Not used to that ocean smell?” I did not respond, because now that I was close enough to see the ship more clearly, I noticed… cracked glass… broken panes in the sliding glass doors of the cabins… no! I gasped, sinking to my knees, and the passenger kindly leaned to help me up. As her hand seized mine—it was cold.
I jerked back so fast I actually collapsed into the passengers behind us—a mother and her daughter.
“Oh!” exclaimed the mother.
My hand brushed the daughter’s bare arm. Cold.
“Are you okay?” asked the daughter, a child of about twelve.
I crawled back from her, and another person, an elderly gentleman, leaned down to help me up, his hand on my elbow. Cold!
“Miss?” he asked. “Miss—” But I bolted, barely hearing their cries as I launched myself back toward the terminal. No no no no no no no no—my eyes watered and my belly bunched into knots and my heart lurched into my throat and oh God oh God—the ship! The whole. Entire. Ship. It was… dark… windows broken… Not a single light shining in the interior, and spatters of blood here and there visible on its decks and balconies… But worst of all was the smell. I hadn’t even entered the ship yet and already I knew, knew, in the way only I can know, that the smell wasn’t just one body or two. Not if I could detect it all the way out on the gangplank. All the way at the entrance to the terminal. For the whiff of putrefaction to have spread so far, the source was something massive. A colossal pile of decomposing bodies like a herd of dead elephants.
That ship… no one on that ship was going to make it back…
As I entered the terminal with its blessed filtered air and the windows between me and the ship, I turned and looked at the line stretching behind me. Passengers laughing. Chatting. Dressed in their finest. Flirting. Teasing. Buzzing with excitement. Old and young couples. Children.
Everyone on this ship is going to die…
... and I’m the only one who knows…
2023.06.04 19:45 Ok_Antelope_1953 Fromville is fine
Not sure if this has been discussed here, but Fromville seems ok to me. I know I'm a weirdo but I honestly can see myself living there without much problem. No rent, no bills, free food and water - this alone makes it something of a paradise. No phones with annoying calls and texts. Seemingly no predators in the woods or the lake. Most of the community work seems to be physical which is good for the body and mind. Just make sure you lock doors and windows before sundown, put on some blinds, hang the talisman, and you're golden. You could even live in an rv or a bus as long as you have a talisman.
Of course with all the new crazy stuff coming up, it's likely gonna turn into a hellhole but I wouldn't mind being a regular Fromville resident for a few years.
submitted by Ok_Antelope_1953 to FromTVEpix [link] [comments]
Of course with all the new crazy stuff coming up, it's likely gonna turn into a hellhole but I wouldn't mind being a regular Fromville resident for a few years.
2023.06.04 19:32 Ok_Cauliflower_1791 Welcome, feel free to introduce yourself!
I’m a 21 year old ex- Adventist who has recently left the church. I’m hoping to create a vibrant LBGT former Adventist community here on Reddit. I’m also active in the ex SDA subreddit. I’m open to any ideas for this community!
submitted by Ok_Cauliflower_1791 to GayAdventist [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 19:29 Illustrious-Soup-975 Just need someone to listen to my ramblings
I’ve been on my journey out of the church for the last year and in that time I’ve learned a lot about church history, the current church, and basically a lot of things have been put into perspective for me. One thing I didn’t expect was how triggering (not sure if that’s the right word, anxiety inducing maybe?) anything church related would be. I’m in Utah visiting family and my dad was loudly listening to a Come Follow Me podcast episode and everything about it was stressing me out. The way they were talking, specific things they were saying about the scriptures and leaders of the church just felt so fake or misinformed
They talked about how beloved Elder Holland is and all I could think about was how harmful his musket fire talk was to the LGBTQ+ community and how out of touch all of the church leaders are and how the church will always deny the experience of the queer community and if Jesus did exist I don’t believe he would do the same. Based on his teachings I think he would love and embrace us; but that’s another tangent.
This specific podcast episode was about Jesus washing the apostles feet and I just kept thinking about the second anointing and how disgusting and problematic it is and how if I hadn’t left as an active member I never would’ve believed that was something that happened and chalked it up to anti Mormon lies.
I just can’t even listen to religious stuff anymore it makes me physically ill and so angry and I guess that’s just something I didn’t expect and I needed to vent that to someone but I don’t really have anyone in the same boat as me so thanks for listening!
submitted by Illustrious-Soup-975 to exmormon [link] [comments]
They talked about how beloved Elder Holland is and all I could think about was how harmful his musket fire talk was to the LGBTQ+ community and how out of touch all of the church leaders are and how the church will always deny the experience of the queer community and if Jesus did exist I don’t believe he would do the same. Based on his teachings I think he would love and embrace us; but that’s another tangent.
This specific podcast episode was about Jesus washing the apostles feet and I just kept thinking about the second anointing and how disgusting and problematic it is and how if I hadn’t left as an active member I never would’ve believed that was something that happened and chalked it up to anti Mormon lies.
I just can’t even listen to religious stuff anymore it makes me physically ill and so angry and I guess that’s just something I didn’t expect and I needed to vent that to someone but I don’t really have anyone in the same boat as me so thanks for listening!
2023.06.04 19:19 GerardJacobs710 Cult like experience with christianity
Working at this Christian summer camp, the directors decided to for the first week to get to know other staff that we go camping in the woods. Getting out tents, and making fires and that sort of thing. They took all technology including phones and music devices. This camping trip lasted 4 days and there wasn’t any bathrooms but there was a running water pump. There was also 2 hours of Bible Jesus time each day during this trip too which I couldn’t avoid.
During the night, we would all get in a circle around the campfire and sing to Jesus or whatever. We did this for 1.5 hours. Not only was that so boring, but it looked extremely cult like. Here we were in the woods in the middle of the night standing in a circle and singing. Extremely creepy.
We did a lot of talking because of no technology and most people just talked about Christian topics which really annoyed me so much. Crazy to think that no one here could ever understand just the crazy amount of pain caused to me by Christianity.
As a group we were walking and along a road there was a person fishing in the lake in the middle of the woods that was a member of the satanic temple shown by the sticker on their car. I realized that it would be extremely nice to have a community like this but without Christianity, so honestly I might even look into that.
We also got lost in the woods and ended up walking an extra 6 miles but then the group prayed that we would find the camp again and we did. This happened a second time without me but they just asked some random FedEx driver for directions because they went even further and found civilization I guess. There was a lot of forest and they walked really far to get to that point. (Camp was in the middle of a forest by a lake with no civilization for quite a few miles)
submitted by GerardJacobs710 to exchristian [link] [comments]
During the night, we would all get in a circle around the campfire and sing to Jesus or whatever. We did this for 1.5 hours. Not only was that so boring, but it looked extremely cult like. Here we were in the woods in the middle of the night standing in a circle and singing. Extremely creepy.
We did a lot of talking because of no technology and most people just talked about Christian topics which really annoyed me so much. Crazy to think that no one here could ever understand just the crazy amount of pain caused to me by Christianity.
As a group we were walking and along a road there was a person fishing in the lake in the middle of the woods that was a member of the satanic temple shown by the sticker on their car. I realized that it would be extremely nice to have a community like this but without Christianity, so honestly I might even look into that.
We also got lost in the woods and ended up walking an extra 6 miles but then the group prayed that we would find the camp again and we did. This happened a second time without me but they just asked some random FedEx driver for directions because they went even further and found civilization I guess. There was a lot of forest and they walked really far to get to that point. (Camp was in the middle of a forest by a lake with no civilization for quite a few miles)
2023.06.04 19:13 HippyPixieEmoKid AITA for potentially splitting up my family?
Trigger warnings: depression, emotional, mental and physical abuse, child abuse, abortions, suicide idealations and attempts.
Backstory: I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 13 years old, although some doctors believe I'd been having seizures since I was as young as 6 or 7. I was also diagnosed with manic depression/bipolar disorder when I was 16.
At 21 I gave birth to my first daughter, M. A little under two years later I had my second daughter, A. The first pregnancy wasn't easy and I had a lot of seizures during the course of the pregnancy. Many trips to the hospital to make sure baby was safe. But after I gave birth I jumped straight into motherhood. I lived roughly 4 hours away from my parents and struggled with feeling homesick frequently. I called my dad daily for parenting advice, to vent, to update him, and also to help subside that homesick feeling. Regardless though, I was a very attentive and active mom. I spent all of my time with M. She was my best friend. I LOVED being a mom and I was THRIVING. After M turned 1, I moved back "home" and moved back in with my parents. My second pregnancy was much the same. Uncomfortable pregnancy, many seizures. However with this pregnancy I had some complications that caused A to be born 10 weeks early. This caused A to spend the first several months of her life in the nicu and even had to have gastral intestinal surgery before she was even 4 months old. Due to my epilepsy I do not drive, but I did everything I could in my power to see my A as frequently and for as long as I could. Visiting hours were somewhat restricting though.
At some point in time I started displaying symptoms of postpartum depression that was heavily exasperated by my manic depression. I was at an all time low. The physical pain of a depression that immense had crippled me. I felt like I had concrete in my veins. Just getting up and going to the bathroom was an exhausting task. I spent most of my days sleeping as an escape from the pain and exhaustion. Thankfully I lived with my parents, my younger daughters father (J), and some of my sisters. I would say I had plenty of help and support, but a more accurate statement would be "the children were looked after". I on the other hand was mocked, teased and belittled at every opportunity. At the time I thought nothing of it. I thought "that's just how my family is" I was raised with the motto "the more I tease you, the more I love you". Before my dad knew I was pregnant (I kept it a secret for 18 weeks because J was pressuring me to get an unwanted abortion.) my dad pointed to my stomach one morning and said "you know, some situps would help with that" I was devastated, already feeling fat and disgusting, and went to my room to cry.
Without me even realizing it, the negative comments and belittling nature of my family took a toll on me and I was getting deeper and deeper into my depression without a light at the end of the tunnel. I HATED myself for not being able to get up and play with my children. I couldn't understand how I could be so active and attentive with M at that age but I just didn't have it in me for A. I felt like I'd failed her in so many ways. I tried my best to find solutions to the problem. Often times I'd try to find games to play with them that involved me lying or at least sitting on the couch. Puzzles, coloring, movies, cars. Anything low impact, but kids want to run and play and be active.. I felt like the worst mom of all times and I wasn't being told differently by those around me. In fact my greatest fears were being confirmed daily. One day I finally broke and had a full mental breakdown in front of my mom. I had confessed to my mom that I was having suicidal idealations. I knew deep down I didn't want to end my life, but I wanted the pain to stop. I couldn't breathe under the weight of my depression and I desperately needed help. I sat on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, confessing all of my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings at that time. My mom, in my opinion, brushed me off and said "well look into counseling or something" and then walked away, while I stayed sitting against our front door, crying my heart out. I felt devastated. All I wanted was a hug and some comfort but it was clear I was barking up the wrong tree. I got myself together, went upstairs, and went to sleep in order to escape the heartbreak and numb myself again. This entire timeline is a blur to me, so I'm not sure how much time passed between my melt down and this next conversation, but I feel like it was less than a week when my mom sat me down to have a conversation about the girls.
She suggested to me that my parents take temporary custody of the girls until I was able to "get on my feet". She kept pushing this narrative that it was what was best for the girls and their safety. She used my epilepsy as an excuse. Telling me that it was unsafe for the girls to be under my care when my epilepsy was so unpredictable. She also used my mental health, feeding into all of my fears and my own perceived shortcomings. A decent way into the conversation, my dad joined us. His whole demeanor radiated "this is a waste of my time. Just do what we say so I can go do other things" but maybe that was me reading too deeply into his behavior. Once he sat down it felt like my mom leaned even deeper into this narrative that they were clearly the better option for the girls wellbeing, but it would only be for a short time and that they were mainly concerned with the girls quality of life. I really struggled with what to do. I already felt like I was failing my children because I was so mentally and emotionally drained and detached. I didn't want to abandon them or lose them, but I also didn't want to harm them in the ways I had been harmed growing up. I figured my mom knew best because she had been in my shoes for all of my childhood. The vast majority of memories I have of my mom are of her sleeping on the couch, or raging out over the most minuscule things. I didn't want my children raised like that... So reluctantly, I agreed, truly believing I was doing a selfless thing and putting my children first. (This would later be used against me at every opportunity) I signed a piece of computer paper that my mom had scribbled an agreement on, stating that I was signing over temporary custody of my kids to my parents, with the understanding that I would get full custody back at an undisclosed time.
One day while I was down the road at a friend's house, my mom called me frantic, demanding I get home immediately. I rushed up to the house to find out that A's dad, J, had her wrapped in three blankets, in her car seat (it's the only place she would sleep). She was drenched in sweat (apparently new borns aren't supposed to sweat, especially not that much) and she was crying hysterically due to discomfort. J was irate, screaming at her and aggressively shaking the car seat. My mom said she heard him scream "shut the fck up or I'm going to *unalive you". She was under the impression that him and I were arguing again, and had come to break up the fight. (This always seemed odd to me seeing as how she never once intervened in our arguments before) When she realized I wasn't home and he was talking to A, she grabbed A and went downstairs. As she walked down the hall, j punched a hole in the wall near her head. He claimed he was "only trying to scare her" because she was "stealing his child from him" I was outraged and mortified. I tried multiple times to leave him and kick him out, but I had no support from my family. At one point I even resorted to packing up all of his belongings and throwing them out on the lawn. I'm not proud of that but I felt I had no other choice, and rushed to lock the doors when he went to get his things. My sister promptly unlocked the door and let him back in, claiming I was "acting psychotic" I felt trapped... But I had grown up around this behavior. My dad was an angry drunk and I had grown up believing that those behaviors were "passion" rather than aggression. So I accepted my fait and went on as if nothing had happened, certain that this would be the rest of my life.
One day when J was driving me to work we got into an argument and he repeatedly told me "your dad was right. You should do the world a favor and just unalive yourself. Everyone would be a lot happier" he kept repeating it over and over until I finally had it. He pulled up to a stop sign and I got out of the car and started walking down the road. He immediately started freaking out, begging me to get back in the car, using everything he could think of to manipulate me into getting back into the car. I finally caved and got back in. J dropped me off at work and as I got out of the car I told him "we're over. I'm breaking up with you". I closed the door before he could say a word and walked into work feeling like I was on cloud 9. It felt like all of my troubles had been wiped away. When I got inside, I told a friend what happened and explained that I didn't want to go home that night because I knew a guilt trip was waiting for me when I got there. I knew there would be an argument that would last hours and I would finally break due to exhaustion and would inevitably take him back. My coworker seemed to understand and let me stay at his house as long as I needed.
I called my mom and told her what had happened. I begged and pleaded with her to kick J out, but she refused. She was concerned that he'd try to take A if she kicked him out. I told her I was certain he wouldn't. He only ever cared about himself and his own self preservation. A baby would only make things harder for him and it was a responsibility and a role he didn't even want in the first place. I told her J had spent 18 weeks pressuring me to abort A and was evening willing to drive me out of state to get the procedure done, until I finally put my foot down and told him no, I was keeping my baby. I stayed away for 2 full weeks, the entire time begging and pleading with my family. Pointing out his abusive tendencies and his history with verbal and physical abuse and outbursts. My mom held her ground and refused to help me in any capacity. Every time M asked where I was, my mom would say "your mom's at work" rather than have her call me and talk to me. This created a lot of psychological trauma for M. She had severe seperstion anxiety, having panic attacks any time someone had to leave the house, convinced that if they left they'd never return. Still to this day she has abandonment issues as well as severe panic attacks.
After two weeks, I started coming over for visits but I never moved back in. During this time, J informed me that he was talking to another girl. He made it abundantly clear that she was 16. He was roughly 25 or 26 at the time. I later found out that they weren't talking. In fact, she had a boyfriend who was age appropriate, but J had been going and telling their entire friend group that they had been messing around together. I was then informed by my younger sibling L, that J had made advances on her that she quickly shut down. I think she was roughly 18 at the time. When this didn't pan out and J didn't get the reactions he expected from myself or L, he moved on. Years later I was told the same time xact story by both J and my oldest sister Al. "We had been hanging out, drinking, smoking. Ya know, the usual. And then well... Because I was so inebriated, they took advantage of me and we slept together" Knowing the both of them well enough, I knew it was consensual and they were just embarrassed and scared of my reaction. I laughed and told them they deserved one another.
As you can imagine, J's questionable life choices caught up with him and he was rejected from every friend group he had, to the point where he left the state and broke all contact with myself, and my family. It was a weight off my shoulders when he was finally gone. At that point I had gotten my own apartment but it was the first time I lived alone, paying my own bills, and I was not good at it. I was missing bill payments left and right. My power was shut off in the middle of winter and before long I was evicted. I was homeless and asked my parents if I could move home. They said no, that it would be too confusing for the girls if I moved back in with them. I ended up staying with friends on the couch in a one bedroom. It was extremely uncomfortable, but I had a roof over my head. When their lease was up, they invited me to get a new place with them. I agreed and I started learning about finances and how to be a functioning part of society.
My parents said I was welcome to visit the girls any time I wanted, but when I'd ask, it was a whole ordeal and guilt trip because they had to come pick me up and refused to bring my kids to my place. They said the car ride was too much for the girls to handle. Mind you, Ms dad B, still lives 4 hours away. My parents regularly drive both of my daughters up to see B and his parents whenever Bs parents request it. However, a 30 minute drive was asking far too much of such young and fragile children. When I argued that point they would use other excuses why they would not be bringing my children to see me. Once again I felt powerless and like a bad mom, being paraded by my parents for not being more active in my kids lives, but when I tried to make the effort it was scorned and met with negativity.
I self isolated for awhile, but still tried to be apart of my children's lives.
Over the years I've brought up the custody agreement, pointing out that it was supposed to only be temporary. I think my parents got frustrated with this because once the girls started school, my mom pressured me to sign over full custody, claiming it would make filling out paperwork a lot easier on my parents. But it was still only temporary, supposedly. Again, I continued to press for custody back and I would be met with argument after argument, bombarded with all of my shortcomings. On multiple occasions my mom told me "if you take custody of the girls back it will destroy mine and your father's marriage. Some days the girls are the only thing keeping us together" I was also told "if you take custody back it will literally kill your father. He won't survive." A year or so ago I told my mom we needed to go to therapy because I could not speak to her without a mediator. She finally agreed and we had two sessions. The first of which she cried her eyes out, telling the therapist that she's always done her absolute best for us kids and that we never appreciate anything she's done for us. She said "I took on the responsibility of raising two young children while she was out there f*cking anyone and everyone she wanted" mind you, during the time frame she was talking about, I had one intimate partner. When I confronted her about it outside of the session she said "I said that to highlight the poor life choices you were making at the time"
Fast-forward to now, A and I have a good relationship, but she's closest to my dad over everyone. M and I still have an incredibly tight bond though. She tells me everything. I'm her best friend.
The things she's been telling me the last couple of years are bringing up a lot of PTSD and trauma for me from my childhood. It's been opening my eyes to the level of mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents.
At this point you're probably thinking what I thought for most of my life. "This girl's mom sounds like a monster" It wasn't until recently that my father's facade was irreversibly shattered in my eyes. M had come to me and asked "what would you say if I asked to be called unisex name". I told her "I wouldn't say anything. I'd just call you by the name you chose. I love you no matter what I call you. I will always love you no matter what. There's nothing in this world that will change that, especially not a name." In time M came to me and said "how would you react if I told you I like girls" I said "the same way I reacted when you wanted to change your name. I will always accept, support and love you, no matter what"
She had gone to my mom with the same questions and my mom had roughly the same response. My dad on the other hand had a much more viseral response. When the name was brought up, he hit the roof, yelling "I'm not having another kid try and change their name. That's stupid. You have a name." (L changed their name when they were in school and my father always hated it and still refuses to call L by their chosen name) When the topic of sexual preference was broached he'd just roll his eyes, huff and act like M was being stupid and childish. As I touched up on previously, M has severe panic attacks. I can relate because I also suffer from them and they were extremely bad around the same age that M is now. From things M had told me in passing I'm under the impression that she was being bullied at school. Every morning was a struggle. She would beg my parents to let her stay home. If it was up to my mom, she'd get frustrated and give in, saying "whatever. Do whatever you want. You do anyway. None of you ever listen to me or respect anything I say" and M would go lie in bed and call me crying that she "upset nana" If it were my dad however, he'd yell at her to get her @$$ in the car and that he wasn't dealing with her $ht. She would have full fledged panic attacks in the car to which he would yell and scream at her to knock off the teenage bllsh*t and to suck it up. One day he even threatened to institutionalize her if this behavior continued. She called me, mid breakdown, telling me everything that had happened and asked me "what even does that mean? Is he gonna lock me up in a psych ward because I'm having panic attacks?" I assured her that no one was doing any such thing. I then called my parents and tore into them for treating her like that. My skin was crawling, I was so appalled at his behavior.
He tries his best to mask his negativity and what I consider to be narcissistic tendencies. He went from being an angry alcoholic to being a sober helpful part of the church he attends. I told my mom recently that I believe he swapped one addiction for another. He portrays this happy healthy life and family all over social media, showing my kids off to the people at his church, claiming they're his kids. So much so to the point that I had attended a few services and people thought I was their sister, not their mom, because my dad refuses to refer to them as his grandchildren. He's even taken it so far as to claim that he BIRTHED them. I don't know what level of psychosis it takes for a man to claim that he carried two children in his womb, but that's besides the point.
Also to Ms detriment, he will tease her about her weight, her eating habits, her sleeping habits. He will also make snide comments about LGBTQ+ related and adjacent topics.
L, had also suffered this same emotional and mental abuse for years from our dad and subsequently my mom who is too scared of my dad to stand up for her own beliefs. L finally made the difficult decision to go no contact for their mental health. This was extra difficult for them because that meant they had less access to their nieces and nephew, but they had to do what was best for their mental state and they took a step back. At one point my dad had brought L up, calling them by their dead name and misgendering them. When M corrected my dad he scoffed and said "people who change their names and gender are just people who weren't loved enough as a child" M responded with "k.." and went to her room to call me, explaining how incredibly offensive that statement was, especially seeing as how that's his own child. She said "who's fault is it if L wasn't loved enough as a child?" (She's extremely aware for her age)
I got a phone call from A one afternoon. She was crying and told me "I'm just sad because I'm never going to see L again because she abandoned us." I asked who told her that and she said "papa said dead name abandoned us because she doesn't care about the family anymore" I explained that none of that was true and that L missed them very much, and wanted to see them very much.
I spoke to L regularly about the situation at hand, being as supportive as possible while trying to stay out of the family drama. After months of distancing themselves from our parents, they came to me for help and guidance. They wanted to have dinner with our parents to try and mend their relationships. However they were scared of the response they would receive, so I offered to be the buffer and reach out on their behalf.
My mom's response was perfect. She said "I would love to have dinner with them. Tell me when and where" My dad's response was less ideal. He said "we would love to have dinner with her. If she's ready to respect our family and our beliefs we would be happy to have dinner with her" I lost it on him. I told him that I was sick and tired of his behavior. He puts on a holier than thou facade but he doesn't actually act very christ like in reality. I pointed out that when the prodigal son returned he wasn't met with "are you ready to ahere to our rules and regulations now? Are you prepared to act the way that we want you to? If you are then you can come home, but if not, get out" he was welcomed home with open arms, regardless of anything he had done or said. He replied with "I had a gut feeling that I shouldn't have responded to that text. I should've listened to that gut instinct"
I've gone no contact with him since that argument, but as you can imagine, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
On mother's day, my dad was out of town but my girls went to church with my mom. There was a guest speaker who had an extremely antitrans message. The way my mom explained it was "if your kid comes out as trans, you're a failure as a mom" I was dumbfounded to hear that they'd have a message like that at all, but especially on mother's day, shaming parents, but specifically mom's, into rejecting their children's self identification, as if one person has control over another person's identity. M told me she didn't ever want to go back. I told her I understood and I'd do my best to make sure she didn't have to.
Today is my birthday and my girls are coming over. M texted me this morning saying "I'm getting ready for church. I was told that if I wanted to go to my mom's house, I had to go to church first" This used to be a place that she felt safe and happy in and now it's become a place of contention for her. She'll ask my mom if she can stay home (never my dad) and although my mom usually caves and lets her stay home, it's always with some stipulation.
My dad is a controlling, manipulative, homophobic, close minded fraud of a Christian who is emotionally and mentally harming and abusing my children, and my mom isn't much safer for either of them, always siding with my dad out of fear and exhaustion.
I desperately want to remove them from this situation and regain full custody but I don't know where to start. I work two jobs in order to make ends meet. I'm behind on my rent. I have to take buses and Ubers everywhere I go. I have a very small two bedroom apartment (the girls each have their own rooms at my parents house). They have friends and a sense of community where they are, with a nice sized backyard, a trampoline, two of my three siblings are close by so they get to see their cousins daily. I don't want to rip them away from the only home they've known for years. I don't want to uproot them and disrupt the little amount of structure they do have. I don't even know how I would manage two jobs as well as a 10 and a 12 year old, but I also don't want to leave them in this toxic suffocating and damaging environment when all along I thought it was a better and safer environment for them than what I had to offer.
I feel like I'm still brainwashed to some extent by my parents, second guessing my abilities as a mom. Telling myself I'm not capable of the things I need to do for these girls. I'm at a loss for what to do at this point. Do I fight for custody back? Do I leave them as they are? Do I continue to try and advocate for them even though it either falls on deaf ears or makes matters so much worse, because that frustration is then taken out on my kids?
submitted by HippyPixieEmoKid to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
Backstory: I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 13 years old, although some doctors believe I'd been having seizures since I was as young as 6 or 7. I was also diagnosed with manic depression/bipolar disorder when I was 16.
At 21 I gave birth to my first daughter, M. A little under two years later I had my second daughter, A. The first pregnancy wasn't easy and I had a lot of seizures during the course of the pregnancy. Many trips to the hospital to make sure baby was safe. But after I gave birth I jumped straight into motherhood. I lived roughly 4 hours away from my parents and struggled with feeling homesick frequently. I called my dad daily for parenting advice, to vent, to update him, and also to help subside that homesick feeling. Regardless though, I was a very attentive and active mom. I spent all of my time with M. She was my best friend. I LOVED being a mom and I was THRIVING. After M turned 1, I moved back "home" and moved back in with my parents. My second pregnancy was much the same. Uncomfortable pregnancy, many seizures. However with this pregnancy I had some complications that caused A to be born 10 weeks early. This caused A to spend the first several months of her life in the nicu and even had to have gastral intestinal surgery before she was even 4 months old. Due to my epilepsy I do not drive, but I did everything I could in my power to see my A as frequently and for as long as I could. Visiting hours were somewhat restricting though.
At some point in time I started displaying symptoms of postpartum depression that was heavily exasperated by my manic depression. I was at an all time low. The physical pain of a depression that immense had crippled me. I felt like I had concrete in my veins. Just getting up and going to the bathroom was an exhausting task. I spent most of my days sleeping as an escape from the pain and exhaustion. Thankfully I lived with my parents, my younger daughters father (J), and some of my sisters. I would say I had plenty of help and support, but a more accurate statement would be "the children were looked after". I on the other hand was mocked, teased and belittled at every opportunity. At the time I thought nothing of it. I thought "that's just how my family is" I was raised with the motto "the more I tease you, the more I love you". Before my dad knew I was pregnant (I kept it a secret for 18 weeks because J was pressuring me to get an unwanted abortion.) my dad pointed to my stomach one morning and said "you know, some situps would help with that" I was devastated, already feeling fat and disgusting, and went to my room to cry.
Without me even realizing it, the negative comments and belittling nature of my family took a toll on me and I was getting deeper and deeper into my depression without a light at the end of the tunnel. I HATED myself for not being able to get up and play with my children. I couldn't understand how I could be so active and attentive with M at that age but I just didn't have it in me for A. I felt like I'd failed her in so many ways. I tried my best to find solutions to the problem. Often times I'd try to find games to play with them that involved me lying or at least sitting on the couch. Puzzles, coloring, movies, cars. Anything low impact, but kids want to run and play and be active.. I felt like the worst mom of all times and I wasn't being told differently by those around me. In fact my greatest fears were being confirmed daily. One day I finally broke and had a full mental breakdown in front of my mom. I had confessed to my mom that I was having suicidal idealations. I knew deep down I didn't want to end my life, but I wanted the pain to stop. I couldn't breathe under the weight of my depression and I desperately needed help. I sat on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, confessing all of my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings at that time. My mom, in my opinion, brushed me off and said "well look into counseling or something" and then walked away, while I stayed sitting against our front door, crying my heart out. I felt devastated. All I wanted was a hug and some comfort but it was clear I was barking up the wrong tree. I got myself together, went upstairs, and went to sleep in order to escape the heartbreak and numb myself again. This entire timeline is a blur to me, so I'm not sure how much time passed between my melt down and this next conversation, but I feel like it was less than a week when my mom sat me down to have a conversation about the girls.
She suggested to me that my parents take temporary custody of the girls until I was able to "get on my feet". She kept pushing this narrative that it was what was best for the girls and their safety. She used my epilepsy as an excuse. Telling me that it was unsafe for the girls to be under my care when my epilepsy was so unpredictable. She also used my mental health, feeding into all of my fears and my own perceived shortcomings. A decent way into the conversation, my dad joined us. His whole demeanor radiated "this is a waste of my time. Just do what we say so I can go do other things" but maybe that was me reading too deeply into his behavior. Once he sat down it felt like my mom leaned even deeper into this narrative that they were clearly the better option for the girls wellbeing, but it would only be for a short time and that they were mainly concerned with the girls quality of life. I really struggled with what to do. I already felt like I was failing my children because I was so mentally and emotionally drained and detached. I didn't want to abandon them or lose them, but I also didn't want to harm them in the ways I had been harmed growing up. I figured my mom knew best because she had been in my shoes for all of my childhood. The vast majority of memories I have of my mom are of her sleeping on the couch, or raging out over the most minuscule things. I didn't want my children raised like that... So reluctantly, I agreed, truly believing I was doing a selfless thing and putting my children first. (This would later be used against me at every opportunity) I signed a piece of computer paper that my mom had scribbled an agreement on, stating that I was signing over temporary custody of my kids to my parents, with the understanding that I would get full custody back at an undisclosed time.
One day while I was down the road at a friend's house, my mom called me frantic, demanding I get home immediately. I rushed up to the house to find out that A's dad, J, had her wrapped in three blankets, in her car seat (it's the only place she would sleep). She was drenched in sweat (apparently new borns aren't supposed to sweat, especially not that much) and she was crying hysterically due to discomfort. J was irate, screaming at her and aggressively shaking the car seat. My mom said she heard him scream "shut the fck up or I'm going to *unalive you". She was under the impression that him and I were arguing again, and had come to break up the fight. (This always seemed odd to me seeing as how she never once intervened in our arguments before) When she realized I wasn't home and he was talking to A, she grabbed A and went downstairs. As she walked down the hall, j punched a hole in the wall near her head. He claimed he was "only trying to scare her" because she was "stealing his child from him" I was outraged and mortified. I tried multiple times to leave him and kick him out, but I had no support from my family. At one point I even resorted to packing up all of his belongings and throwing them out on the lawn. I'm not proud of that but I felt I had no other choice, and rushed to lock the doors when he went to get his things. My sister promptly unlocked the door and let him back in, claiming I was "acting psychotic" I felt trapped... But I had grown up around this behavior. My dad was an angry drunk and I had grown up believing that those behaviors were "passion" rather than aggression. So I accepted my fait and went on as if nothing had happened, certain that this would be the rest of my life.
One day when J was driving me to work we got into an argument and he repeatedly told me "your dad was right. You should do the world a favor and just unalive yourself. Everyone would be a lot happier" he kept repeating it over and over until I finally had it. He pulled up to a stop sign and I got out of the car and started walking down the road. He immediately started freaking out, begging me to get back in the car, using everything he could think of to manipulate me into getting back into the car. I finally caved and got back in. J dropped me off at work and as I got out of the car I told him "we're over. I'm breaking up with you". I closed the door before he could say a word and walked into work feeling like I was on cloud 9. It felt like all of my troubles had been wiped away. When I got inside, I told a friend what happened and explained that I didn't want to go home that night because I knew a guilt trip was waiting for me when I got there. I knew there would be an argument that would last hours and I would finally break due to exhaustion and would inevitably take him back. My coworker seemed to understand and let me stay at his house as long as I needed.
I called my mom and told her what had happened. I begged and pleaded with her to kick J out, but she refused. She was concerned that he'd try to take A if she kicked him out. I told her I was certain he wouldn't. He only ever cared about himself and his own self preservation. A baby would only make things harder for him and it was a responsibility and a role he didn't even want in the first place. I told her J had spent 18 weeks pressuring me to abort A and was evening willing to drive me out of state to get the procedure done, until I finally put my foot down and told him no, I was keeping my baby. I stayed away for 2 full weeks, the entire time begging and pleading with my family. Pointing out his abusive tendencies and his history with verbal and physical abuse and outbursts. My mom held her ground and refused to help me in any capacity. Every time M asked where I was, my mom would say "your mom's at work" rather than have her call me and talk to me. This created a lot of psychological trauma for M. She had severe seperstion anxiety, having panic attacks any time someone had to leave the house, convinced that if they left they'd never return. Still to this day she has abandonment issues as well as severe panic attacks.
After two weeks, I started coming over for visits but I never moved back in. During this time, J informed me that he was talking to another girl. He made it abundantly clear that she was 16. He was roughly 25 or 26 at the time. I later found out that they weren't talking. In fact, she had a boyfriend who was age appropriate, but J had been going and telling their entire friend group that they had been messing around together. I was then informed by my younger sibling L, that J had made advances on her that she quickly shut down. I think she was roughly 18 at the time. When this didn't pan out and J didn't get the reactions he expected from myself or L, he moved on. Years later I was told the same time xact story by both J and my oldest sister Al. "We had been hanging out, drinking, smoking. Ya know, the usual. And then well... Because I was so inebriated, they took advantage of me and we slept together" Knowing the both of them well enough, I knew it was consensual and they were just embarrassed and scared of my reaction. I laughed and told them they deserved one another.
As you can imagine, J's questionable life choices caught up with him and he was rejected from every friend group he had, to the point where he left the state and broke all contact with myself, and my family. It was a weight off my shoulders when he was finally gone. At that point I had gotten my own apartment but it was the first time I lived alone, paying my own bills, and I was not good at it. I was missing bill payments left and right. My power was shut off in the middle of winter and before long I was evicted. I was homeless and asked my parents if I could move home. They said no, that it would be too confusing for the girls if I moved back in with them. I ended up staying with friends on the couch in a one bedroom. It was extremely uncomfortable, but I had a roof over my head. When their lease was up, they invited me to get a new place with them. I agreed and I started learning about finances and how to be a functioning part of society.
My parents said I was welcome to visit the girls any time I wanted, but when I'd ask, it was a whole ordeal and guilt trip because they had to come pick me up and refused to bring my kids to my place. They said the car ride was too much for the girls to handle. Mind you, Ms dad B, still lives 4 hours away. My parents regularly drive both of my daughters up to see B and his parents whenever Bs parents request it. However, a 30 minute drive was asking far too much of such young and fragile children. When I argued that point they would use other excuses why they would not be bringing my children to see me. Once again I felt powerless and like a bad mom, being paraded by my parents for not being more active in my kids lives, but when I tried to make the effort it was scorned and met with negativity.
I self isolated for awhile, but still tried to be apart of my children's lives.
Over the years I've brought up the custody agreement, pointing out that it was supposed to only be temporary. I think my parents got frustrated with this because once the girls started school, my mom pressured me to sign over full custody, claiming it would make filling out paperwork a lot easier on my parents. But it was still only temporary, supposedly. Again, I continued to press for custody back and I would be met with argument after argument, bombarded with all of my shortcomings. On multiple occasions my mom told me "if you take custody of the girls back it will destroy mine and your father's marriage. Some days the girls are the only thing keeping us together" I was also told "if you take custody back it will literally kill your father. He won't survive." A year or so ago I told my mom we needed to go to therapy because I could not speak to her without a mediator. She finally agreed and we had two sessions. The first of which she cried her eyes out, telling the therapist that she's always done her absolute best for us kids and that we never appreciate anything she's done for us. She said "I took on the responsibility of raising two young children while she was out there f*cking anyone and everyone she wanted" mind you, during the time frame she was talking about, I had one intimate partner. When I confronted her about it outside of the session she said "I said that to highlight the poor life choices you were making at the time"
Fast-forward to now, A and I have a good relationship, but she's closest to my dad over everyone. M and I still have an incredibly tight bond though. She tells me everything. I'm her best friend.
The things she's been telling me the last couple of years are bringing up a lot of PTSD and trauma for me from my childhood. It's been opening my eyes to the level of mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents.
At this point you're probably thinking what I thought for most of my life. "This girl's mom sounds like a monster" It wasn't until recently that my father's facade was irreversibly shattered in my eyes. M had come to me and asked "what would you say if I asked to be called unisex name". I told her "I wouldn't say anything. I'd just call you by the name you chose. I love you no matter what I call you. I will always love you no matter what. There's nothing in this world that will change that, especially not a name." In time M came to me and said "how would you react if I told you I like girls" I said "the same way I reacted when you wanted to change your name. I will always accept, support and love you, no matter what"
She had gone to my mom with the same questions and my mom had roughly the same response. My dad on the other hand had a much more viseral response. When the name was brought up, he hit the roof, yelling "I'm not having another kid try and change their name. That's stupid. You have a name." (L changed their name when they were in school and my father always hated it and still refuses to call L by their chosen name) When the topic of sexual preference was broached he'd just roll his eyes, huff and act like M was being stupid and childish. As I touched up on previously, M has severe panic attacks. I can relate because I also suffer from them and they were extremely bad around the same age that M is now. From things M had told me in passing I'm under the impression that she was being bullied at school. Every morning was a struggle. She would beg my parents to let her stay home. If it was up to my mom, she'd get frustrated and give in, saying "whatever. Do whatever you want. You do anyway. None of you ever listen to me or respect anything I say" and M would go lie in bed and call me crying that she "upset nana" If it were my dad however, he'd yell at her to get her @$$ in the car and that he wasn't dealing with her $ht. She would have full fledged panic attacks in the car to which he would yell and scream at her to knock off the teenage bllsh*t and to suck it up. One day he even threatened to institutionalize her if this behavior continued. She called me, mid breakdown, telling me everything that had happened and asked me "what even does that mean? Is he gonna lock me up in a psych ward because I'm having panic attacks?" I assured her that no one was doing any such thing. I then called my parents and tore into them for treating her like that. My skin was crawling, I was so appalled at his behavior.
He tries his best to mask his negativity and what I consider to be narcissistic tendencies. He went from being an angry alcoholic to being a sober helpful part of the church he attends. I told my mom recently that I believe he swapped one addiction for another. He portrays this happy healthy life and family all over social media, showing my kids off to the people at his church, claiming they're his kids. So much so to the point that I had attended a few services and people thought I was their sister, not their mom, because my dad refuses to refer to them as his grandchildren. He's even taken it so far as to claim that he BIRTHED them. I don't know what level of psychosis it takes for a man to claim that he carried two children in his womb, but that's besides the point.
Also to Ms detriment, he will tease her about her weight, her eating habits, her sleeping habits. He will also make snide comments about LGBTQ+ related and adjacent topics.
L, had also suffered this same emotional and mental abuse for years from our dad and subsequently my mom who is too scared of my dad to stand up for her own beliefs. L finally made the difficult decision to go no contact for their mental health. This was extra difficult for them because that meant they had less access to their nieces and nephew, but they had to do what was best for their mental state and they took a step back. At one point my dad had brought L up, calling them by their dead name and misgendering them. When M corrected my dad he scoffed and said "people who change their names and gender are just people who weren't loved enough as a child" M responded with "k.." and went to her room to call me, explaining how incredibly offensive that statement was, especially seeing as how that's his own child. She said "who's fault is it if L wasn't loved enough as a child?" (She's extremely aware for her age)
I got a phone call from A one afternoon. She was crying and told me "I'm just sad because I'm never going to see L again because she abandoned us." I asked who told her that and she said "papa said dead name abandoned us because she doesn't care about the family anymore" I explained that none of that was true and that L missed them very much, and wanted to see them very much.
I spoke to L regularly about the situation at hand, being as supportive as possible while trying to stay out of the family drama. After months of distancing themselves from our parents, they came to me for help and guidance. They wanted to have dinner with our parents to try and mend their relationships. However they were scared of the response they would receive, so I offered to be the buffer and reach out on their behalf.
My mom's response was perfect. She said "I would love to have dinner with them. Tell me when and where" My dad's response was less ideal. He said "we would love to have dinner with her. If she's ready to respect our family and our beliefs we would be happy to have dinner with her" I lost it on him. I told him that I was sick and tired of his behavior. He puts on a holier than thou facade but he doesn't actually act very christ like in reality. I pointed out that when the prodigal son returned he wasn't met with "are you ready to ahere to our rules and regulations now? Are you prepared to act the way that we want you to? If you are then you can come home, but if not, get out" he was welcomed home with open arms, regardless of anything he had done or said. He replied with "I had a gut feeling that I shouldn't have responded to that text. I should've listened to that gut instinct"
I've gone no contact with him since that argument, but as you can imagine, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
On mother's day, my dad was out of town but my girls went to church with my mom. There was a guest speaker who had an extremely antitrans message. The way my mom explained it was "if your kid comes out as trans, you're a failure as a mom" I was dumbfounded to hear that they'd have a message like that at all, but especially on mother's day, shaming parents, but specifically mom's, into rejecting their children's self identification, as if one person has control over another person's identity. M told me she didn't ever want to go back. I told her I understood and I'd do my best to make sure she didn't have to.
Today is my birthday and my girls are coming over. M texted me this morning saying "I'm getting ready for church. I was told that if I wanted to go to my mom's house, I had to go to church first" This used to be a place that she felt safe and happy in and now it's become a place of contention for her. She'll ask my mom if she can stay home (never my dad) and although my mom usually caves and lets her stay home, it's always with some stipulation.
My dad is a controlling, manipulative, homophobic, close minded fraud of a Christian who is emotionally and mentally harming and abusing my children, and my mom isn't much safer for either of them, always siding with my dad out of fear and exhaustion.
I desperately want to remove them from this situation and regain full custody but I don't know where to start. I work two jobs in order to make ends meet. I'm behind on my rent. I have to take buses and Ubers everywhere I go. I have a very small two bedroom apartment (the girls each have their own rooms at my parents house). They have friends and a sense of community where they are, with a nice sized backyard, a trampoline, two of my three siblings are close by so they get to see their cousins daily. I don't want to rip them away from the only home they've known for years. I don't want to uproot them and disrupt the little amount of structure they do have. I don't even know how I would manage two jobs as well as a 10 and a 12 year old, but I also don't want to leave them in this toxic suffocating and damaging environment when all along I thought it was a better and safer environment for them than what I had to offer.
I feel like I'm still brainwashed to some extent by my parents, second guessing my abilities as a mom. Telling myself I'm not capable of the things I need to do for these girls. I'm at a loss for what to do at this point. Do I fight for custody back? Do I leave them as they are? Do I continue to try and advocate for them even though it either falls on deaf ears or makes matters so much worse, because that frustration is then taken out on my kids?
2023.06.04 19:06 Staying-Free50 Shiny Happy People (docuseries streaming on Amazon)
Moderators: I’m new to posting on Reddit so if this post breaks any rules, please delete it. I recently watched Shiny Happy People, and it is partly why I joined exLutheran. Since I had heard of IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles) and saw news reports about it, there was not much I hadn’t heard before. However, after watching it, I realized the value in being part of a community of people who have left a church or organization that negatively impacted one’s life. Has anyone watched Shiny Happy People? It shows the dangers and effects of what I feel is an extremely controlling cult.
submitted by Staying-Free50 to exLutheran [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 18:39 LindertechProductsYT A Rant about Minecraft 1.20 and the loss of exploration encouragement (what my pack does better than the Minecraft dev team)
My Fondourance Exploration Pack is meant to be a focus on exploration and whatnot so I'm going to make tons of creatures and have made some already, along with new biomes, blocks and whatnot to make the world worth exploring and less dead, making the land feel truly alive once more in The Minecraft World as Armor Trims and whatnot from 1.20 isn't encouraging exploration and instead has the opposite effect in which that version isn't played until the players have netherite armor and then they'd update after that.
I felt as though that the Minecraft Team didn't actually know what the players wanted or what would make them want to explore the land, the ocean is so desolate in Minecraft, the sky is barely habited, the creatures aren't broad enough and the biomes, trees and whatnot aren't diverse enough, there's not enough for players to find thus not making them want to explore the land because one biome ends up feeling a lot nicer than others so they stick to finding that or not exploring at all.
My pack is meant to encourage exploration, finding things and whatnot so that it doesn't feel boring anymore, I just would like to finish this because it means a lot to me to get this pack done, I've played Minecraft for some time and wanted to make a pack that felt exciting but haven't found out how to do it, then I found Blockbench and was interested, I'd then set forth to attempt on making a fantastic pack as I got bored of the game, the game's just gotten boring so I'm adding a lot to the game to make it more exciting while also keeping a kind of Minecrafty theme and as such would like to spark the enjoyment of the game again.
I've not really seen many people talking about the game anymore, it's gotten super boring ever since Microsoft has had the game, they'd then go on to mainly add a bunch of things into the game that nobody really wanted and thus discouraged people from playing the game, more and more Big Minecraft Youtubers of Influencers are leaving Minecraft because it's just gotten too dull, too stale and hadn't gotten many good updates, the community started to be somewhat ignored by them and features were changed into a simplified form and many things such as furniture and whatnot weren't added as it would "stop people from being creative" but this just wouldn't be the case as I see furniture being used to make more creative things in the game due to the possibilities of a shape like that, vertical slabs weren't added either, no new dimensions, red dragon and skylands were scrapped completely and so were pigmen, rubies and whatever even though that'd be really cool to have different humanoid species living in the world, but villagers being the only known structural life along with the illagers is just sad, what happened to having multiple cultures and whatnot? the villagers are just boring and something new needs to be added into the game that'll excite people once more, but no... all that is given is some new wood type or 2, new blocks that remove the purpose of gathering other blocks such as Mud making it so you don't need a Mesa or Lakes since you can literally make Clay from Mud and turn that into terracotta, effectively removing one aspect of exploration as a Plains biome can literally give you Dirt that becomes Mud that become Clay which can be turned into terracotta, bricks or the mud family of blocks, making dirt more useful than before.
Now you don't even need a Mesa Biome to get Terracotta and don't need Lakes or whatever to get Clay, discouraging exploration more than it has been before, this was 1.19, so now 1.20 adding ruins into the ground and lakes but adding plants that require a sniffer is just tedious and making armor trims hard to get and forcing you to explore the world for them is crazy for just some customization, the armor trims should be 100% guaranteed all the time because it's just customization, it's not making you immortal, these armor trims should just be not rare at all and should've been craftable, this just doesn't work at all and I hope and wish that this wouldn't be a problem, 1.20 has customization locked under exploration and thus will not encourage exploration as exploring the world has become a grueling task in which nobody wants to do for a little trinket, thus discouraging people to express themselves in the game other than thier existing armor.
I can literally poke a million and beyond more holes into 1.20 update than Mojang Studios' Minecraft dev team could ever patch quickly enough, people likes that the pitcher plant could be bonemealed on Bedrock Edition and they removed that for no reason other than to make it feel like an ancient plant, but the thing is... ancient plants can literally be regrown a lot in the real world anyways and those plants are still ancient but are cultivated to be more abundant so bonemealing those ancient plants should atleast create a couple more of themselves like the poppies & dandelions in the game already and shouldn't ask like a double-tall flower, so it's replicatable but isn't too op, Mojang better step up thier game as they are quickly losing connection to people greatly, people playing the game would rather stay in an area forever than explore and there's literally no reason to explore the land in the first place unless you're a collector of everything.
Exploration has just become a burden to hold heavily as if you'd like a certain plant, you have to find it or if you want a certain trim you must obtain it from a structure, the only exiting thing about 1.20 is the fact that desert temples have a secret room in them now, and that's about it, customization is cool but due to how rare it is, I'm expecting the rise of Creative Worlds as that'll give infinite access to everything and the players will make a land worth exploring if the Minecraft dev team won't do it themselves.
submitted by LindertechProductsYT to LindertechProductions [link] [comments]
I felt as though that the Minecraft Team didn't actually know what the players wanted or what would make them want to explore the land, the ocean is so desolate in Minecraft, the sky is barely habited, the creatures aren't broad enough and the biomes, trees and whatnot aren't diverse enough, there's not enough for players to find thus not making them want to explore the land because one biome ends up feeling a lot nicer than others so they stick to finding that or not exploring at all.
My pack is meant to encourage exploration, finding things and whatnot so that it doesn't feel boring anymore, I just would like to finish this because it means a lot to me to get this pack done, I've played Minecraft for some time and wanted to make a pack that felt exciting but haven't found out how to do it, then I found Blockbench and was interested, I'd then set forth to attempt on making a fantastic pack as I got bored of the game, the game's just gotten boring so I'm adding a lot to the game to make it more exciting while also keeping a kind of Minecrafty theme and as such would like to spark the enjoyment of the game again.
I've not really seen many people talking about the game anymore, it's gotten super boring ever since Microsoft has had the game, they'd then go on to mainly add a bunch of things into the game that nobody really wanted and thus discouraged people from playing the game, more and more Big Minecraft Youtubers of Influencers are leaving Minecraft because it's just gotten too dull, too stale and hadn't gotten many good updates, the community started to be somewhat ignored by them and features were changed into a simplified form and many things such as furniture and whatnot weren't added as it would "stop people from being creative" but this just wouldn't be the case as I see furniture being used to make more creative things in the game due to the possibilities of a shape like that, vertical slabs weren't added either, no new dimensions, red dragon and skylands were scrapped completely and so were pigmen, rubies and whatever even though that'd be really cool to have different humanoid species living in the world, but villagers being the only known structural life along with the illagers is just sad, what happened to having multiple cultures and whatnot? the villagers are just boring and something new needs to be added into the game that'll excite people once more, but no... all that is given is some new wood type or 2, new blocks that remove the purpose of gathering other blocks such as Mud making it so you don't need a Mesa or Lakes since you can literally make Clay from Mud and turn that into terracotta, effectively removing one aspect of exploration as a Plains biome can literally give you Dirt that becomes Mud that become Clay which can be turned into terracotta, bricks or the mud family of blocks, making dirt more useful than before.
Now you don't even need a Mesa Biome to get Terracotta and don't need Lakes or whatever to get Clay, discouraging exploration more than it has been before, this was 1.19, so now 1.20 adding ruins into the ground and lakes but adding plants that require a sniffer is just tedious and making armor trims hard to get and forcing you to explore the world for them is crazy for just some customization, the armor trims should be 100% guaranteed all the time because it's just customization, it's not making you immortal, these armor trims should just be not rare at all and should've been craftable, this just doesn't work at all and I hope and wish that this wouldn't be a problem, 1.20 has customization locked under exploration and thus will not encourage exploration as exploring the world has become a grueling task in which nobody wants to do for a little trinket, thus discouraging people to express themselves in the game other than thier existing armor.
I can literally poke a million and beyond more holes into 1.20 update than Mojang Studios' Minecraft dev team could ever patch quickly enough, people likes that the pitcher plant could be bonemealed on Bedrock Edition and they removed that for no reason other than to make it feel like an ancient plant, but the thing is... ancient plants can literally be regrown a lot in the real world anyways and those plants are still ancient but are cultivated to be more abundant so bonemealing those ancient plants should atleast create a couple more of themselves like the poppies & dandelions in the game already and shouldn't ask like a double-tall flower, so it's replicatable but isn't too op, Mojang better step up thier game as they are quickly losing connection to people greatly, people playing the game would rather stay in an area forever than explore and there's literally no reason to explore the land in the first place unless you're a collector of everything.
Exploration has just become a burden to hold heavily as if you'd like a certain plant, you have to find it or if you want a certain trim you must obtain it from a structure, the only exiting thing about 1.20 is the fact that desert temples have a secret room in them now, and that's about it, customization is cool but due to how rare it is, I'm expecting the rise of Creative Worlds as that'll give infinite access to everything and the players will make a land worth exploring if the Minecraft dev team won't do it themselves.
2023.06.04 18:26 Agentbasedmodel Early to established church
In the book of Acts, the Early Church is clearly portrayed as a radical egalitarian community. E.g. all sold their belongings before entering.
However, by the time of the earliest surviving churches - the Copts of North Eastern africa, it is quite clear the church had radically evolved. E.g. We have elaborate and ornate byzantine paintings, and quite a mystical view of the Faith.
I find this transition fascinating because its route is less obvious than it becoming the state religion of Rome. Does anyone know about this period of history / branch of Christianity?
Edit: to be clear I am asking about the history of the coptic Church.
submitted by Agentbasedmodel to Christianity [link] [comments]
However, by the time of the earliest surviving churches - the Copts of North Eastern africa, it is quite clear the church had radically evolved. E.g. We have elaborate and ornate byzantine paintings, and quite a mystical view of the Faith.
I find this transition fascinating because its route is less obvious than it becoming the state religion of Rome. Does anyone know about this period of history / branch of Christianity?
Edit: to be clear I am asking about the history of the coptic Church.
2023.06.04 18:13 Worried_Sea1209 Other Christians call me a fake Christian for being queer
I was following a fellow Christian on Instagram, and I thought he was chill. He was a bit more conservative and traditional than me, but we’d actually had some good conversations about trans people and gay people and how Christians are too unkind to them, and how the church should do better. So I thought this guy was chill, maybe a bit traditional, but he seemed willing to hear me out and had good intentions. Well, yesterday he posted the same old tired Leviticus verse and I think one in Corinthians. (Both of which do not even so homosexual in every version or translation). This was disappointing, as I thought he was better than that, but his next post was what really got me upset. He said “if you call yourself a Christian and support pride month you are not a real Christian”. This really got me mad, because who does he think he is? He doesn’t get to decide who is and is not a “real Christian.” Even if he has some views I strongly disagree with, I don’t doubt his relationship with God. That is in no way my place, I don’t get to decide who is a real Christian and a fake Christian. Even then, even if someone firmly believes being LGBTQ is a sin, it’s absolutely insane to declare that anyone who supports the LGBTQ community is a “fake Christian”. I tried talking to him and saying he crossed a line, that someone’s salvation and relationship to God isn’t up to him, but he very much had a “it’s a sin, I’m right and you’re wrong” type mentality. So trying to talk to him was like talking to a brick wall. Whenever I tried to go deeper into why exactly he was wrong, he kept getting annoyed that I was “changing the subject.” I asked him to find a Bible verse that had a direct example of the Bible showing a consensual gay relationship that wasn’t involved in shrine worship, trying to show that God isn’t condemning consensual gay relationships because they are never even mentioned. But he didn’t want to have a conversation about anything nuanced or hard to talk about. He just wanted to be right. I always had a pride flag in my bio and my pronouns listed, so I asked, “if you truly believed I want a real Christian for supporting LGBTQ, why didn’t you say anything sooner if you knew I did?” He insisted that he wasn’t shallow and as long as I’m a child person we can be cool, but I wasn’t buying that. Completely denying my relationship with God and disrespecting my religion really crosses a line and a boundary. I can’t stay friends with someone who is going to disrespect me like that. I can be friends with atheists and Satanists, because we can always agree to disagree and they can respect my beliefs, they don’t doubt that if I am a real Christian or a fake Christian, they just respect me and let me indulge in my religion. But to have a Christian friend just deny that I am one and refuse to treat me as such? It makes me so upset. I was wondering if anybody else had similar experiences. Why in the world do some people still have this old fashioned outdated mentality? I just wish I could find more Christians who could understand.
submitted by Worried_Sea1209 to GayChristians [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 18:07 StreetwiseHercules07 41 [M4F] #Jacksonville, NC. Looking for a younger woman interested in CNC.
Looking for a young woman with an unfulfilled [email protected] Kink who is interested in IRL play.
Me: Dominant/Top, White, Straight, DDF, Veteran, 6' Tall, and much stronger than you. I'm single, live alone, and my kids are grown. I enjoy new people, and risky adventures, so if you have a crazy idea, we might be able to make it happen as long as it only involves consenting adults.
Chat me if you are enthusiastically curious. Please include your age and City/State in your first message if it's not obvious from your profile. If you send a pic, send one with clothes on. If I want to see you naked, I'll undress you myself.
The Safeword Is "Red".
1st Date Ideas. 🌹You're out way too late, you would worry about being robbed, but you're sure you don't have anything anyone would want to take. 🌹You take a wrong turn trail running, and now your lost, but it looks like someone might be living in this part of the park. 🌹You're stuck on the side of the road, no cell phone service, and no one to help you.
Kinks: ● 1950s Household ● Abduction ● Accomplice ● AgePlay ● Anonymous Sex ● Asphyxia Play ● BDSM ● Being Your Father's Age ● Blowing Your Husbands Boss To Get Him A Raise ● Bondage ● Breath Play ● Bruises ● CNC ● Coercion ● Creampie ● Crying ● Daddy/Daughter Roleplay ● DD/LG ● Degradation ● Domestic Abuse ● DubCon ● Exhibitionism ● Face Slapping ● Forced Orgasms ● Free Use ● Groping ●Orgasm Control ● Pain ● PainKink ● Physical Abuse ● Public Play ● Public Orgasms ● Rape Play ● RapeKink ● Rape Kink ● Remote Control Vibrators In Public ● Sexual Slavery ● Stuffing You Into A Duffel Bag ●
Cities In/Near Eastern North Carolina: ■ Albertson ■ Atlantic Beach ■ Beaufort ■ Bell Fork ■ Beulaville ■ Bogue ■ Bridgeton ■ Calypso ■ Camp Lejeune ■ Cape Carteret ■ Charlotte ■ Cherry Point ■ Clayton ■ Coastal Carolina Community College ■ Dover ■ Dunn ■ Durham ■ Emerald Isle ■ Fayetteville ■ Garner ■ Georgetown ■ Goldsboro ■ Greensboro ■ Greenville ■ Hampstead ■ Havelock ■ Holly Ridge ■ Hope Mills ■ Hubert ■ Jacksonville ■ Kenansville ■ Kings Grant ■ Kinston ■ Knightdale ■ Leland ■ Lumberton ■ Magnolia ■ Maysville ■ Midway Park ■ Morehead City ■ Murrysville ■ New Bern ■ New River ■ Newport ■ North Topsail Beach ■ Ocean View ■ Pelletier ■ Piney Green ■ Pink Hill ■ Pollocksville ■ Raleigh ■ Richlands ■ Rocky Mount ■ Rocky Point ■ Rose Hill ■ Salter Path ■ Smithfield ■ Snead's Ferry ■ Spring Lake ■ Stella ■ Surf City ■Swansboro ■ Tarboro ■ Trenton ■ University Of North Carolina at Wilmington ■ Vanceboro ■ Wallace ■ Warsaw ■ Washington ■ Watha ■ Whitakers ■ Wilmington ■ Wilson ■ Winston-Salem ■
submitted by StreetwiseHercules07 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]
Me: Dominant/Top, White, Straight, DDF, Veteran, 6' Tall, and much stronger than you. I'm single, live alone, and my kids are grown. I enjoy new people, and risky adventures, so if you have a crazy idea, we might be able to make it happen as long as it only involves consenting adults.
Chat me if you are enthusiastically curious. Please include your age and City/State in your first message if it's not obvious from your profile. If you send a pic, send one with clothes on. If I want to see you naked, I'll undress you myself.
The Safeword Is "Red".
1st Date Ideas. 🌹You're out way too late, you would worry about being robbed, but you're sure you don't have anything anyone would want to take. 🌹You take a wrong turn trail running, and now your lost, but it looks like someone might be living in this part of the park. 🌹You're stuck on the side of the road, no cell phone service, and no one to help you.
Kinks: ● 1950s Household ● Abduction ● Accomplice ● AgePlay ● Anonymous Sex ● Asphyxia Play ● BDSM ● Being Your Father's Age ● Blowing Your Husbands Boss To Get Him A Raise ● Bondage ● Breath Play ● Bruises ● CNC ● Coercion ● Creampie ● Crying ● Daddy/Daughter Roleplay ● DD/LG ● Degradation ● Domestic Abuse ● DubCon ● Exhibitionism ● Face Slapping ● Forced Orgasms ● Free Use ● Groping ●Orgasm Control ● Pain ● PainKink ● Physical Abuse ● Public Play ● Public Orgasms ● Rape Play ● RapeKink ● Rape Kink ● Remote Control Vibrators In Public ● Sexual Slavery ● Stuffing You Into A Duffel Bag ●
Cities In/Near Eastern North Carolina: ■ Albertson ■ Atlantic Beach ■ Beaufort ■ Bell Fork ■ Beulaville ■ Bogue ■ Bridgeton ■ Calypso ■ Camp Lejeune ■ Cape Carteret ■ Charlotte ■ Cherry Point ■ Clayton ■ Coastal Carolina Community College ■ Dover ■ Dunn ■ Durham ■ Emerald Isle ■ Fayetteville ■ Garner ■ Georgetown ■ Goldsboro ■ Greensboro ■ Greenville ■ Hampstead ■ Havelock ■ Holly Ridge ■ Hope Mills ■ Hubert ■ Jacksonville ■ Kenansville ■ Kings Grant ■ Kinston ■ Knightdale ■ Leland ■ Lumberton ■ Magnolia ■ Maysville ■ Midway Park ■ Morehead City ■ Murrysville ■ New Bern ■ New River ■ Newport ■ North Topsail Beach ■ Ocean View ■ Pelletier ■ Piney Green ■ Pink Hill ■ Pollocksville ■ Raleigh ■ Richlands ■ Rocky Mount ■ Rocky Point ■ Rose Hill ■ Salter Path ■ Smithfield ■ Snead's Ferry ■ Spring Lake ■ Stella ■ Surf City ■Swansboro ■ Tarboro ■ Trenton ■ University Of North Carolina at Wilmington ■ Vanceboro ■ Wallace ■ Warsaw ■ Washington ■ Watha ■ Whitakers ■ Wilmington ■ Wilson ■ Winston-Salem ■
2023.06.04 17:58 AutoModerator Here's How To Watch "Falcon Lake" OnLine Free Streaming On Reddit
Falcon Lake Movie! Still Now Here Option’s to Downloading or watching Falcon Lake streaming the full movie online for free. Do you like movies? If so, then you’ll love New Movie: Falcon Lake. This movie is one of the best in its genre. #Falcon Lake will be available to watch online on Netflix's very soon!
Showcase Cinema Warwick you'll want to make sure you're one of the first people to see it! So mark your calendars and get ready for a Falcon Lake movie experience like never before. of our other Marvel movies available to watch online. We're sure you'll find something to your liking. Thanks for reading, and we'll see you soon! Falcon Lake is available on our website for free streaming. Details on how you can watch Falcon Lake for free throughout the year are described
If you're a fan of the comics, you won't want to miss this one! The storyline follows Falcon Lake (2022) as he tries to find his way home after being stranded on an alien Falcon Lake (2022). Falcon Lake is definitely a Falcon Lake movie you don't want to miss with stunning visuals and an action-packed plot! Plus, Falcon Lake online streaming is available on our website. Falcon Lake online is free, which includes streaming options such as 123movies, Reddit, or TV shows from HBO Max or Netflix!
Falcon Lake Release in the US
Falcon Lake hits theaters on May 14, 2023. Tickets to see the film at your local movie theater are available online here. The film is being released in a wide release so you can watch it in person.
How to Watch Falcon Lake for Free?release on a platform that offers a free trial. Our readers to always pay for the content they wish to consume online and refrain from using illegal means.
Where to Watch Falcon Lake (2022)?
There are currently no platforms that have the rights to Watch Falcon Lake Movie Online.MAPPA has decided to air the movie only in theaters because it has been a huge success.The studio , on the other hand, does not wish to divert revenue Streaming the movie would only slash the profits, not increase them.
As a result, no streaming services are authorized to offer Falcon Lake Movie for free. The film would, however, very definitely be acquired by services like Funimation , Netflix, and Crunchyroll. As a last consideration, which of these outlets will likely distribute the film worldwide?
Is Falcon Lake on Netflix?
The streaming giant has a massive catalog of television shows and movies, but it does not include 'Falcon Lake.' We recommend our readers watch other dark fantasy films like 'The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf.' Of course, that's no reason to frown for the horror film, which has a domestic cume of $103 million and global cume of $ 210 million from a budget of just $20 million.
submitted by AutoModerator to FalconLakeHd [link] [comments]
Watch Now📺Falcon Lake Online Free Movie
Now Is Falcon Lake available to stream? Is watching Falcon Lake (2022) on Disney Plus, HBO Max, Netflix, or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service. A 1950s housewife living with her husband in a utopian experimental community begins to worry that his glamorous company could be hiding disturbing secrets.
Showcase Cinema Warwick you'll want to make sure you're one of the first people to see it! So mark your calendars and get ready for a Falcon Lake movie experience like never before. of our other Marvel movies available to watch online. We're sure you'll find something to your liking. Thanks for reading, and we'll see you soon! Falcon Lake is available on our website for free streaming. Details on how you can watch Falcon Lake for free throughout the year are described
If you're a fan of the comics, you won't want to miss this one! The storyline follows Falcon Lake (2022) as he tries to find his way home after being stranded on an alien Falcon Lake (2022). Falcon Lake is definitely a Falcon Lake movie you don't want to miss with stunning visuals and an action-packed plot! Plus, Falcon Lake online streaming is available on our website. Falcon Lake online is free, which includes streaming options such as 123movies, Reddit, or TV shows from HBO Max or Netflix!
Falcon Lake Release in the US
Falcon Lake hits theaters on May 14, 2023. Tickets to see the film at your local movie theater are available online here. The film is being released in a wide release so you can watch it in person.
How to Watch Falcon Lake for Free?release on a platform that offers a free trial. Our readers to always pay for the content they wish to consume online and refrain from using illegal means.
Where to Watch Falcon Lake (2022)?
There are currently no platforms that have the rights to Watch Falcon Lake Movie Online.MAPPA has decided to air the movie only in theaters because it has been a huge success.The studio , on the other hand, does not wish to divert revenue Streaming the movie would only slash the profits, not increase them.
As a result, no streaming services are authorized to offer Falcon Lake Movie for free. The film would, however, very definitely be acquired by services like Funimation , Netflix, and Crunchyroll. As a last consideration, which of these outlets will likely distribute the film worldwide?
Is Falcon Lake on Netflix?
The streaming giant has a massive catalog of television shows and movies, but it does not include 'Falcon Lake.' We recommend our readers watch other dark fantasy films like 'The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf.' Of course, that's no reason to frown for the horror film, which has a domestic cume of $103 million and global cume of $ 210 million from a budget of just $20 million.
2023.06.04 17:53 MobiusDicks Converting the experimental farm to the “experimental forest”
Does anyone know if there has ever been a serious petition or discussion about relocating the Experimental Farm? My thoughts are that it should be relocated to the outskirts existing farmland i.e. passed Kanata, Barrhaven, or Orleans. With the new vacant area the city would convert the farmland into Ottawas very own central park/extension of the Arboretum.
I feel like it’s only fair and is worth discussing as the city decided to put the new super hospital in an extremely inconvenient location that requires developing on green space. The Arboretum, Dows lake, and surrounding areas are already a major tourist attraction, but having a massive park full of trees, ponds, tennis/pickle-ball courts, basketball courts in areas where the community can gather would be so amazing for the city. I feel like having farmland in a city center is almost as wasteful as you can be for public space. No one can enjoy playing in the fields or enjoying the scenery because it’s all either fenced off or growing corn. The city could easily raise tons of money by allowing individuals or companies to donate fountains, benches, dedicate trees, etc. Other than the handful of government workers who are based out of those buildings who would oppose an urban forest and community space!?
What do you think? Would you support or oppose this farmland being converted into a community park/urban forest?
submitted by MobiusDicks to ottawa [link] [comments]
I feel like it’s only fair and is worth discussing as the city decided to put the new super hospital in an extremely inconvenient location that requires developing on green space. The Arboretum, Dows lake, and surrounding areas are already a major tourist attraction, but having a massive park full of trees, ponds, tennis/pickle-ball courts, basketball courts in areas where the community can gather would be so amazing for the city. I feel like having farmland in a city center is almost as wasteful as you can be for public space. No one can enjoy playing in the fields or enjoying the scenery because it’s all either fenced off or growing corn. The city could easily raise tons of money by allowing individuals or companies to donate fountains, benches, dedicate trees, etc. Other than the handful of government workers who are based out of those buildings who would oppose an urban forest and community space!?
What do you think? Would you support or oppose this farmland being converted into a community park/urban forest?
2023.06.04 17:24 earringenthusiast My recent visit to Burlington was incredible, I am in awe!
Hey everyone. I just got back from a few day long visit to Burlington on Friday and I have been thinking about it non stop since I got back. I know it's not a perfect state or city by any means, I know there's a housing crisis and a lot of other issues, but I just wanted to say that visiting was an absolutely surreal experience I am so honored to have been able to visit, even just for a short time. Where I'm from, we don't really have an "outside." The whole time we were there, my girlfriend and I kept making jokes about how back home they would have leveled it all out and put in a parking lot. We got there on Sunday, entered the state through Fair Haven and stopped at the welcome center. That night we went to a Lake Monsters game and of course bought a few t shirts.
Monday we walked through Church Street, got some breakfast at Burlington Bagel Bakery, went to Dakin Farm and Charlotte Village Winery, then headed to Mt. Philo State Park for a picnic. It was absolutely beautiful, I'm sure it probably sounds like this is the first time i have ever seen a tree or something lol, but being surrounded by nature like that was an experience you can't really have where I live. We stopped at Vermont Cookie Love and tried a Creemee. That night we picked up some food from American Flatbread and watched The Little Mermaid and the Sunset Drive In.
Tuesday morning, we went to August First for breakfast, then biked the Burlington bike path out to ferry ad back, which is the first time either of us ever biked anywhere near that amount. My ass hurt extremely bad the next day but it wasn't too bad. We rented the bikes from Local Motion, and while we were heading back still on the causeway, one of the bikes broke. The derailer (sp? i never even heard of it before that) completely broke off of the bike. So many people stopped to help us try and fix it and they were all so kind. Everyone was at a loss, but I called Local Motion and somebody rode out with a new bike for us to ride back (and of course I gave him a tip for bringing it out). We went to lunch at Splash at the Boathouse, and after a much needed nap we went on a sunset dinner cruise where I had the most delicious flatbread I have ever had in my life.
Wednesday morning we went to The Skinny Pancake and did the Ben and Jerry's factory tour. After that, we went to the ECHO museum, and even tho we are both in our 20's it was a lot of fun. We of course had to stop at the world's tallest filing cabinet, which was much taller than I was expecting I'll be honest, and then went to Cheese and Wine Traders because my girlfriend's favorite food in cheese. That night, we went to an Italian restaurant that started with a P and I had the biggest bowl of gnocchi I have ever seen but it was delicious.
Thursday morning we went to The Friendly Toast before we walked the 2.5 mile trail at Red Rocks Park. Again, absolutely stunning. Afterwards, we went to The Soda Plant and had lunch at The Old Post. We headed to Leddy Beach, got cleaned up, and then had dinner at the Windjammer. Last minute, we decided to get tickets to watch Mothra at the Vermont Comedy Club. I had never seen an improv show before but it was absolutely hilarious!
Friday morning we had breakfast at Black Cap and did some rounds to pick up some bagels and 7 grain bread before we unfortunately had to head back, but not before making one final stop at the teddy bear factory, taking a tour, and of course picking out our own bear.
Again, I know I probably sound ridiculous being excited about nature but we just dont have that kind of stuff here. Maybe you could find it, but it would take a while. It was great to wake up and already be there. We met so many kind people, had a lot of great food, and learned a lot about the area. We were honored to have been able to experience it!
submitted by earringenthusiast to vermont [link] [comments]
Monday we walked through Church Street, got some breakfast at Burlington Bagel Bakery, went to Dakin Farm and Charlotte Village Winery, then headed to Mt. Philo State Park for a picnic. It was absolutely beautiful, I'm sure it probably sounds like this is the first time i have ever seen a tree or something lol, but being surrounded by nature like that was an experience you can't really have where I live. We stopped at Vermont Cookie Love and tried a Creemee. That night we picked up some food from American Flatbread and watched The Little Mermaid and the Sunset Drive In.
Tuesday morning, we went to August First for breakfast, then biked the Burlington bike path out to ferry ad back, which is the first time either of us ever biked anywhere near that amount. My ass hurt extremely bad the next day but it wasn't too bad. We rented the bikes from Local Motion, and while we were heading back still on the causeway, one of the bikes broke. The derailer (sp? i never even heard of it before that) completely broke off of the bike. So many people stopped to help us try and fix it and they were all so kind. Everyone was at a loss, but I called Local Motion and somebody rode out with a new bike for us to ride back (and of course I gave him a tip for bringing it out). We went to lunch at Splash at the Boathouse, and after a much needed nap we went on a sunset dinner cruise where I had the most delicious flatbread I have ever had in my life.
Wednesday morning we went to The Skinny Pancake and did the Ben and Jerry's factory tour. After that, we went to the ECHO museum, and even tho we are both in our 20's it was a lot of fun. We of course had to stop at the world's tallest filing cabinet, which was much taller than I was expecting I'll be honest, and then went to Cheese and Wine Traders because my girlfriend's favorite food in cheese. That night, we went to an Italian restaurant that started with a P and I had the biggest bowl of gnocchi I have ever seen but it was delicious.
Thursday morning we went to The Friendly Toast before we walked the 2.5 mile trail at Red Rocks Park. Again, absolutely stunning. Afterwards, we went to The Soda Plant and had lunch at The Old Post. We headed to Leddy Beach, got cleaned up, and then had dinner at the Windjammer. Last minute, we decided to get tickets to watch Mothra at the Vermont Comedy Club. I had never seen an improv show before but it was absolutely hilarious!
Friday morning we had breakfast at Black Cap and did some rounds to pick up some bagels and 7 grain bread before we unfortunately had to head back, but not before making one final stop at the teddy bear factory, taking a tour, and of course picking out our own bear.
Again, I know I probably sound ridiculous being excited about nature but we just dont have that kind of stuff here. Maybe you could find it, but it would take a while. It was great to wake up and already be there. We met so many kind people, had a lot of great food, and learned a lot about the area. We were honored to have been able to experience it!
2023.06.04 16:41 Simplybuns9 Suggestions for small town/village in Ohio
Looking for a small rural village or town in Ohio, within an hour-ish drive of Columbus or Cincinnati (and not on a route that would be a terrible commute). Things I’m seeking:
We don’t drink and mostly eat at home, so those things are not important to us. Not needing a place with nightlife.
submitted by Simplybuns9 to SameGrassButGreener [link] [comments]
- houses (with ~an acre or more of land) in the $150k range
- near bike paths
- in a county with lower taxes (local, sales, income, property)
- good public schools
- family friendly. A place where you see kids running around outside, walking around town with friends, etc
- safe, not high crime
- low cost of living
- reliable internet
- within 30-ish minute drive of a Mennonite church
- walkable/bikeable within the town/village
- a grocery store in the village/town
- some level of racial diversity, no big KKK reputation (will be adopting in the future and their race is unknown)
- if there is a college within 30 minutes
- if there is a nearby hospital
- doesn’t get a lot of tornadoes or flooding
We don’t drink and mostly eat at home, so those things are not important to us. Not needing a place with nightlife.
2023.06.04 16:05 StreetwiseHercules07 41 [M4F] #Jacksonville, NC. Looking for a younger woman interested in CNC.
Looking for a young woman with an unfulfilled [email protected] Kink who is interested in IRL play.
Me: Dominant/Top, White, Straight, DDF, Veteran, 6' Tall, and much stronger than you. I'm single, live alone, and my kids are grown. I enjoy new people, and risky adventures, so if you have a crazy idea, we might be able to make it happen as long as it only involves consenting adults.
Chat me if you are enthusiastically curious. Please include your age and City/State in your first message if it's not obvious from your profile. If you send a pic, send one with clothes on. If I want to see you naked, I'll undress you myself.
The Safeword Is "Red".
1st Date Ideas. 🌹You're out way too late, you would worry about being robbed, but you're sure you don't have anything anyone would want to take. 🌹You take a wrong turn trail running, and now your lost, but it looks like someone might be living in this part of the park. 🌹You're stuck on the side of the road, no cell phone service, and no one to help you.
Kinks: ● 1950s Household ● Abduction ● Accomplice ● AgePlay ● Anonymous Sex ● Asphyxia Play ● BDSM ● Being Your Father's Age ● Blowing Your Husbands Boss To Get Him A Raise ● Bondage ● Breath Play ● Bruises ● CNC ● Coercion ● Creampie ● Crying ● Daddy/Daughter Roleplay ● DD/LG ● Degradation ● Domestic Abuse ● DubCon ● Exhibitionism ● Face Slapping ● Forced Orgasms ● Free Use ● Groping ●Orgasm Control ● Pain ● PainKink ● Physical Abuse ● Public Play ● Public Orgasms ● Rape Play ● RapeKink ● Rape Kink ● Remote Control Vibrators In Public ● Sexual Slavery ● Stuffing You Into A Duffel Bag ●
Cities In/Near Eastern North Carolina: ■ Albertson ■ Atlantic Beach ■ Beaufort ■ Bell Fork ■ Beulaville ■ Bogue ■ Bridgeton ■ Calypso ■ Camp Lejeune ■ Cape Carteret ■ Charlotte ■ Cherry Point ■ Clayton ■ Coastal Carolina Community College ■ Dover ■ Dunn ■ Durham ■ Emerald Isle ■ Fayetteville ■ Garner ■ Georgetown ■ Goldsboro ■ Greensboro ■ Greenville ■ Hampstead ■ Havelock ■ Holly Ridge ■ Hope Mills ■ Hubert ■ Jacksonville ■ Kenansville ■ Kings Grant ■ Kinston ■ Knightdale ■ Leland ■ Lumberton ■ Magnolia ■ Maysville ■ Midway Park ■ Morehead City ■ Murrysville ■ New Bern ■ New River ■ Newport ■ North Topsail Beach ■ Ocean View ■ Pelletier ■ Piney Green ■ Pink Hill ■ Pollocksville ■ Raleigh ■ Richlands ■ Rocky Mount ■ Rocky Point ■ Rose Hill ■ Salter Path ■ Smithfield ■ Snead's Ferry ■ Spring Lake ■ Stella ■ Surf City ■Swansboro ■ Tarboro ■ Trenton ■ University Of North Carolina at Wilmington ■ Vanceboro ■ Wallace ■ Warsaw ■ Washington ■ Watha ■ Whitakers ■ Wilmington ■ Wilson ■ Winston-Salem ■
submitted by StreetwiseHercules07 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]
Me: Dominant/Top, White, Straight, DDF, Veteran, 6' Tall, and much stronger than you. I'm single, live alone, and my kids are grown. I enjoy new people, and risky adventures, so if you have a crazy idea, we might be able to make it happen as long as it only involves consenting adults.
Chat me if you are enthusiastically curious. Please include your age and City/State in your first message if it's not obvious from your profile. If you send a pic, send one with clothes on. If I want to see you naked, I'll undress you myself.
The Safeword Is "Red".
1st Date Ideas. 🌹You're out way too late, you would worry about being robbed, but you're sure you don't have anything anyone would want to take. 🌹You take a wrong turn trail running, and now your lost, but it looks like someone might be living in this part of the park. 🌹You're stuck on the side of the road, no cell phone service, and no one to help you.
Kinks: ● 1950s Household ● Abduction ● Accomplice ● AgePlay ● Anonymous Sex ● Asphyxia Play ● BDSM ● Being Your Father's Age ● Blowing Your Husbands Boss To Get Him A Raise ● Bondage ● Breath Play ● Bruises ● CNC ● Coercion ● Creampie ● Crying ● Daddy/Daughter Roleplay ● DD/LG ● Degradation ● Domestic Abuse ● DubCon ● Exhibitionism ● Face Slapping ● Forced Orgasms ● Free Use ● Groping ●Orgasm Control ● Pain ● PainKink ● Physical Abuse ● Public Play ● Public Orgasms ● Rape Play ● RapeKink ● Rape Kink ● Remote Control Vibrators In Public ● Sexual Slavery ● Stuffing You Into A Duffel Bag ●
Cities In/Near Eastern North Carolina: ■ Albertson ■ Atlantic Beach ■ Beaufort ■ Bell Fork ■ Beulaville ■ Bogue ■ Bridgeton ■ Calypso ■ Camp Lejeune ■ Cape Carteret ■ Charlotte ■ Cherry Point ■ Clayton ■ Coastal Carolina Community College ■ Dover ■ Dunn ■ Durham ■ Emerald Isle ■ Fayetteville ■ Garner ■ Georgetown ■ Goldsboro ■ Greensboro ■ Greenville ■ Hampstead ■ Havelock ■ Holly Ridge ■ Hope Mills ■ Hubert ■ Jacksonville ■ Kenansville ■ Kings Grant ■ Kinston ■ Knightdale ■ Leland ■ Lumberton ■ Magnolia ■ Maysville ■ Midway Park ■ Morehead City ■ Murrysville ■ New Bern ■ New River ■ Newport ■ North Topsail Beach ■ Ocean View ■ Pelletier ■ Piney Green ■ Pink Hill ■ Pollocksville ■ Raleigh ■ Richlands ■ Rocky Mount ■ Rocky Point ■ Rose Hill ■ Salter Path ■ Smithfield ■ Snead's Ferry ■ Spring Lake ■ Stella ■ Surf City ■Swansboro ■ Tarboro ■ Trenton ■ University Of North Carolina at Wilmington ■ Vanceboro ■ Wallace ■ Warsaw ■ Washington ■ Watha ■ Whitakers ■ Wilmington ■ Wilson ■ Winston-Salem ■
2023.06.04 15:36 longleggedwader Spellcheck!
 | I cannot tell if this is from a clip they used or if it is the documentary. submitted by longleggedwader to FundieSnarkUncensored [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 15:32 therealmrsfahrenheit Self tan and a day at the pool/ lake/ sea🌊 ?
Hey guys! 🙋🏼♀️ I’m 22 and rather new to self tanning (using the St. Moriz self tan medium). This will be my first summer with self tan. I’ve tried it over the last 2 weeks already and I think (except for the hand and feet🥲) I have figured out how to get natural and great looking tan and I‘m super happy. However I do have a couple concerns.. of course I‘ll be going to the lake (normal water), pool (chlorinated water) as well as maybe the sea (salt water) this summer and I‘m a little concerned on wether I can do that with my self tan without worrying about it coming off or getting patchy. First question I would have: how long should I let the tan develop (before showering for the first time) before going to the lake? Is 8 others enough ? Then, how do the different types of water affect the self tan and are there safety precautions that I have to take? How long can I stay in the water in general? How do I handle the factor sand, do I need to watch out there is no sand on my body at all times because that would rub off the tan immediately? Should I pat myself dry with a towel carefully every time I get out of the water or should I let myself air- dry? And one of the most important question because of course we know self tan doesn’t have an SPF and I‘m naturally very pale: how do sunscreen and self tan go together? Can I apply it and re-apply it without worrying rubbing my self tan off? Can I maybe only go for a transparent sunscreen spray ?
I would really appreciate my questions to be answered by professionals that are longer part of the community, I really don’t want to get humiliated when I end up looking like a zebra (If the self tan does come off it would be a disaster because I really am very pale and it would be noticeable immedietly) 🙏🏻🥺
submitted by therealmrsfahrenheit to Selftanning [link] [comments]
I would really appreciate my questions to be answered by professionals that are longer part of the community, I really don’t want to get humiliated when I end up looking like a zebra (If the self tan does come off it would be a disaster because I really am very pale and it would be noticeable immedietly) 🙏🏻🥺
2023.06.04 15:18 makamore Looking to connect with believers in South Korea
Hi all, I'm a 28 year old from Ireland who moved to Korea last year to teach English and I'm looking to connect with Spirit-filled believers in Christ to discuss various fringe Christian topics like the Nephilim, SRA/DID, UFO's and everything from the bible that the church refuses to discuss. If there's anyone in Korea that would be interested in meeting up to discuss, I'd be so happy to! I regularly listen to the Blurry Creatures podcast (if you've never heard of it, I'd urge you to check it out). They talk about fringe topics from a biblical perspective and they've had renown biblical scholars such as the late Dr. Michael Heiser on their podcast a couple times. Listening to the podcast has made me really long to have a community to discuss these things with in-person. Feel free to message me if you're interested!
submitted by makamore to conspiracy [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 15:05 Shoddy_Day i’ve never lived this long before!!
submitted by Shoddy_Day to bitlife [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 14:39 Dull-Distance8014 Honeymoon Itinerary help needed!
Hi Everyone!
My partner and I are planning our honeymoon to New Zealand in early November 2023. We hope to be able to be able to have a relaxed and safe self drive trip, and would require your advise on our itinerary. We are afraid that we might underestimated certain routes or miss certain important highlights! Hope to be able to get some help on this!
Here's our rough plan: Day 1: Flight to Auckland Day 2: Roturua Tour 1 Day Package (Te Puia, Rotorua, Agrodome) Day 3: Auckland -> Queenstown (Shotover jet, Skyline Luge, Fergburger, Cookie Time, Flame Bar) Day 4: Queenstown Weekend Market, Car Rental, Deer Park Heights, Arrowtown Day 5: Queenstown -> Te Anau (Bird Sanctuary, Miles better pies, Glowworm tour) Day 6: Te Anau -> Milford Sound (tour package) -> Te Anau -> Ditto (Bao Now), Paradiso pizza) Day 7: Te Anau -> Wanaka (Wanaka tree, Lavender Farm) Day 8: Wanaka (Roys peak track, firebird, Cinema Paradiso) Day 9: Wanaka -> Mt Cook (Lindis Pass, Mt Cook Alpine Salmon, Hooker valley) Day 10: Twizel -> Mt Cook (Tasman Heli Hike, Aoraki Track) Day 11: Mt Cook -> Lake Tekapo -> Darfield (Church of Good Shepherd) Day 12: Darfield -> Castle Hill (World Famous sheffield pies, Cave Stream, Arthurs Pass) -> Darfield Day 13: Darfield -> Akaroa (Pohatu Lodge) Day 14: Akaora (Little River)
Day 15: Akaora -> Christchurch (Riverside market, New Regent Street precinct)
Day 16: Christchurch -> Auckland (end of trip)
Hope that we would be able to get some advise or recommendations on our itineary such that we could have a smooth and enjoyable time in New Zealand! Thank you in advance!
submitted by Dull-Distance8014 to newzealand [link] [comments]
My partner and I are planning our honeymoon to New Zealand in early November 2023. We hope to be able to be able to have a relaxed and safe self drive trip, and would require your advise on our itinerary. We are afraid that we might underestimated certain routes or miss certain important highlights! Hope to be able to get some help on this!
Here's our rough plan: Day 1: Flight to Auckland Day 2: Roturua Tour 1 Day Package (Te Puia, Rotorua, Agrodome) Day 3: Auckland -> Queenstown (Shotover jet, Skyline Luge, Fergburger, Cookie Time, Flame Bar) Day 4: Queenstown Weekend Market, Car Rental, Deer Park Heights, Arrowtown Day 5: Queenstown -> Te Anau (Bird Sanctuary, Miles better pies, Glowworm tour) Day 6: Te Anau -> Milford Sound (tour package) -> Te Anau -> Ditto (Bao Now), Paradiso pizza) Day 7: Te Anau -> Wanaka (Wanaka tree, Lavender Farm) Day 8: Wanaka (Roys peak track, firebird, Cinema Paradiso) Day 9: Wanaka -> Mt Cook (Lindis Pass, Mt Cook Alpine Salmon, Hooker valley) Day 10: Twizel -> Mt Cook (Tasman Heli Hike, Aoraki Track) Day 11: Mt Cook -> Lake Tekapo -> Darfield (Church of Good Shepherd) Day 12: Darfield -> Castle Hill (World Famous sheffield pies, Cave Stream, Arthurs Pass) -> Darfield Day 13: Darfield -> Akaroa (Pohatu Lodge) Day 14: Akaora (Little River)
Day 15: Akaora -> Christchurch (Riverside market, New Regent Street precinct)
Day 16: Christchurch -> Auckland (end of trip)
Hope that we would be able to get some advise or recommendations on our itineary such that we could have a smooth and enjoyable time in New Zealand! Thank you in advance!
2023.06.04 14:31 TrajanCaesar [REQUEST] What would you call my ideology.
Economics:
I believe we should replace capitalism with a centrally planned economy where all state industry and public utilities are micromanaged by a self-learning AI. The AI would be programmed, and trained by Marxian and Keynesian economists to understand basic economics, and would be fed data on economic trends so it could accurately predict and avoid recessions and shortages. The AI will also be educated on Marxist philosophy, so it doesn't make economic decisions contradictory to Marxist ethics. All private business would be made illegal, except for heavily regulated worker co-operatives which are partly owned by the state. Worker co-operatives will only be allowed to produce luxury goods and non-essential products.
For an example of how this system works a strong central bureau, with the help of the previously mentioned AI would be in charge of agriculture, housing, healthcare, construction, mining, electricity, telecommunications, education, retail, distribution, banking and finance. Worker co-operatives are allowed to start businesses under this system in any business sector not mentioned previously. However, the worker co-operatives must sell their products and services through government owned stores or other government owned channels, and the government legally owns 10% of the business. Which means the government takes 10% of the profits the worker co-op makes, in addition to any typical taxes the government already collects. Manufacturing is split between state industry, and worker co-ops. The state should be exclusively in charge of manufacturing firearms, pharmaceuticals, chemicals, textiles, metals, paper products, and plastics. There should be a public option for cheap government made environmentally friendly cars, and computers. But worker co-operatives should be allowed to create luxury alternatives. These alternatives have a luxury tax applied to them to subsidize the public options, and keep them competitive with the worker co-ops.
Social Policy:
I am a staunch atheist, and believe in a strong separation of church and state. Churches should have to pay property taxes, and if a government official's religion gets in the way of serving the public they should be removed from office. Religions which openly oppose gay marriage, trans rights, and abortion should be made illegal and the practitioners of these religions deprogrammed. Needless to say I support gay marriage, and trans rights. I support abortion for any reason up to 28 weeks. I also support abortion in the third trimester for rape, incest, birth defects, and for teen pregnancy. I am a sex-positive feminist, and I support the Me Too movement. It should be easier for women to come forward, and it should be easier to convict those accused of sexual violence. I am a big supporter of hate speech laws similar to the ones in the UK, and think Critical race theory should be taught in schools. Hate-groups should be illegal, and their members arrested by the state. There should be more oversight, and accountability for police officers. We should centralize and standardize police training, because trusting the states to determine how police are trained is how we got so many racist and unprofessional cops to begin with. There should be a new government agency to deal with police brutality cases, and investigate them independently of our existing court system. I support marijuana legalization, and non-violent drug offenders should be let out of prison. I support the death penalty for rape, murder, and treason. Those sentenced to death should have the right to choose how they die within a year of their conviction. Their options are hanging, firing squad, guillotine, and gas chamber. Convicts sentenced to death should be allowed one appeal, and have a year from the date of their conviction to prove their innocence. I also support legalizing prostitution, and gambling for adults. Puerto Rico, Guam, Washington DC, and indigenous reservations should be granted state-hood.
Foreign Policy:
I support Ukraine, and condemn the Russian invasion. I think the United States military should liberate Crimea, and enforce a no-fly zone over Ukraine and the Bosporus. The United States should send weapons to, and help training the Combat Organization of Anarcho-Communists to help overthrow Vladimir Putin's regime in Russia. I believe the United States should have friendlier relations with the People's Republic of China, and stop supporting Taiwan. Currently, I see NATO as a necessary evil for as long as Putin remains in control of Russia, but NATO should be disbanded if Russia ever collapses or if the current government of Russia is overthrown. I support the United States lifting the embargo on Cuba, and lifting sanctions on Venezuela. The United States should pay reparations to Cuba, Vietnam, and Venezuela for it's actions against those countries. I support the Kurds, and believe Kurdistan has the right to exist as an independent country. I oppose Saudi Arabia's invasion of Yemen, and consider it a genocide of Shia Muslims. I support Palestine, and consider Israel an apartheid state. I believe Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinians. I support the protestors in Iran, and the brave women of Iran who are standing up for their rights. I also support North Ireland rejoining the south, and an independent Catalonia. I am against North Korea, and see them as red fascists who misrepresent Marxism. The same way Pol Pot's Cambodia was an authoritarian nationalist state which misrepresents Marxism. I also believe socialist states with the military capabilities to do so should lead a world revolution in militarily and economically weaker capitalist countries, and do more to support Marxist movements abroad.
Other:
I am a staunch environmentalist, and support transitioning away from fossil fuels. I think it'll take a combination of nuclear, solar, geothermal, and tidal power to replace fossil fuels. All developed countries should be building carbon capture systems, and there should be an international effort to clean our oceans. Using technology to reverse the damage humanity has done to the environment since the industrial revolution is very important to me. We should also be having fewer children, as I believe overpopulation is a large contributor to climate change. Fortunately, I believe the west is very close to, or already has, stabilized its population growth. One of the biggest reasons, but not the only reason, I believe birth control is a fundamental right and every country should have common access to birth control. I do eat meat, but I believe we need to do more to regulate the treatment of animals, and make sure livestock is killed humanely.
I believe Marxists should participate in national elections in western countries, and need to do more to build support in marginalized communities. In America, Marxists need to help socialists in the Democratic Party get elected, if there are any. Otherwise, we should be voting third party for Marxist candidates if there aren't any prominent socialists on the ballot in the Democratic Party. Liberals and Neo-Liberals aren't part of the left or our allies. Never forget what the Liberals did to Rosa Luxemburg. That being said, I do believe in leftist unity, and Marxists should work with socialists and anarchists to work together to defeat capitalism. We also should show our support for Marxist revolutionaries in the third-world as best as we can.
I believe scientific advancement is a corner stone of a Marxist society. We cannot achieve a stateless society until we've developed an Artificial Intelligence sophisticated enough to run society without human interference, and Marxist societies should invest heavily in computer science, and technological advancement to create a self-aware AI to run society, and true communism cannot exist before we achieve the technological singularity. I am also a transhumanist who believes we should allow designer children within a socialist society to improve the general health of the species by eliminating genetic diseases. I also believe humans could be augmented in the future with computer implants that connect to the internet, bringing humanity closer together. Also, a Marxist society should heavily invest in space exploration so that eventually the vast majority of humanity can live in space. As an environmentalist, I believe this is the best thing humanity could do for the planet.
submitted by TrajanCaesar to WhatsMyIdeology [link] [comments]
I believe we should replace capitalism with a centrally planned economy where all state industry and public utilities are micromanaged by a self-learning AI. The AI would be programmed, and trained by Marxian and Keynesian economists to understand basic economics, and would be fed data on economic trends so it could accurately predict and avoid recessions and shortages. The AI will also be educated on Marxist philosophy, so it doesn't make economic decisions contradictory to Marxist ethics. All private business would be made illegal, except for heavily regulated worker co-operatives which are partly owned by the state. Worker co-operatives will only be allowed to produce luxury goods and non-essential products.
For an example of how this system works a strong central bureau, with the help of the previously mentioned AI would be in charge of agriculture, housing, healthcare, construction, mining, electricity, telecommunications, education, retail, distribution, banking and finance. Worker co-operatives are allowed to start businesses under this system in any business sector not mentioned previously. However, the worker co-operatives must sell their products and services through government owned stores or other government owned channels, and the government legally owns 10% of the business. Which means the government takes 10% of the profits the worker co-op makes, in addition to any typical taxes the government already collects. Manufacturing is split between state industry, and worker co-ops. The state should be exclusively in charge of manufacturing firearms, pharmaceuticals, chemicals, textiles, metals, paper products, and plastics. There should be a public option for cheap government made environmentally friendly cars, and computers. But worker co-operatives should be allowed to create luxury alternatives. These alternatives have a luxury tax applied to them to subsidize the public options, and keep them competitive with the worker co-ops.
Social Policy:
I am a staunch atheist, and believe in a strong separation of church and state. Churches should have to pay property taxes, and if a government official's religion gets in the way of serving the public they should be removed from office. Religions which openly oppose gay marriage, trans rights, and abortion should be made illegal and the practitioners of these religions deprogrammed. Needless to say I support gay marriage, and trans rights. I support abortion for any reason up to 28 weeks. I also support abortion in the third trimester for rape, incest, birth defects, and for teen pregnancy. I am a sex-positive feminist, and I support the Me Too movement. It should be easier for women to come forward, and it should be easier to convict those accused of sexual violence. I am a big supporter of hate speech laws similar to the ones in the UK, and think Critical race theory should be taught in schools. Hate-groups should be illegal, and their members arrested by the state. There should be more oversight, and accountability for police officers. We should centralize and standardize police training, because trusting the states to determine how police are trained is how we got so many racist and unprofessional cops to begin with. There should be a new government agency to deal with police brutality cases, and investigate them independently of our existing court system. I support marijuana legalization, and non-violent drug offenders should be let out of prison. I support the death penalty for rape, murder, and treason. Those sentenced to death should have the right to choose how they die within a year of their conviction. Their options are hanging, firing squad, guillotine, and gas chamber. Convicts sentenced to death should be allowed one appeal, and have a year from the date of their conviction to prove their innocence. I also support legalizing prostitution, and gambling for adults. Puerto Rico, Guam, Washington DC, and indigenous reservations should be granted state-hood.
Foreign Policy:
I support Ukraine, and condemn the Russian invasion. I think the United States military should liberate Crimea, and enforce a no-fly zone over Ukraine and the Bosporus. The United States should send weapons to, and help training the Combat Organization of Anarcho-Communists to help overthrow Vladimir Putin's regime in Russia. I believe the United States should have friendlier relations with the People's Republic of China, and stop supporting Taiwan. Currently, I see NATO as a necessary evil for as long as Putin remains in control of Russia, but NATO should be disbanded if Russia ever collapses or if the current government of Russia is overthrown. I support the United States lifting the embargo on Cuba, and lifting sanctions on Venezuela. The United States should pay reparations to Cuba, Vietnam, and Venezuela for it's actions against those countries. I support the Kurds, and believe Kurdistan has the right to exist as an independent country. I oppose Saudi Arabia's invasion of Yemen, and consider it a genocide of Shia Muslims. I support Palestine, and consider Israel an apartheid state. I believe Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinians. I support the protestors in Iran, and the brave women of Iran who are standing up for their rights. I also support North Ireland rejoining the south, and an independent Catalonia. I am against North Korea, and see them as red fascists who misrepresent Marxism. The same way Pol Pot's Cambodia was an authoritarian nationalist state which misrepresents Marxism. I also believe socialist states with the military capabilities to do so should lead a world revolution in militarily and economically weaker capitalist countries, and do more to support Marxist movements abroad.
Other:
I am a staunch environmentalist, and support transitioning away from fossil fuels. I think it'll take a combination of nuclear, solar, geothermal, and tidal power to replace fossil fuels. All developed countries should be building carbon capture systems, and there should be an international effort to clean our oceans. Using technology to reverse the damage humanity has done to the environment since the industrial revolution is very important to me. We should also be having fewer children, as I believe overpopulation is a large contributor to climate change. Fortunately, I believe the west is very close to, or already has, stabilized its population growth. One of the biggest reasons, but not the only reason, I believe birth control is a fundamental right and every country should have common access to birth control. I do eat meat, but I believe we need to do more to regulate the treatment of animals, and make sure livestock is killed humanely.
I believe Marxists should participate in national elections in western countries, and need to do more to build support in marginalized communities. In America, Marxists need to help socialists in the Democratic Party get elected, if there are any. Otherwise, we should be voting third party for Marxist candidates if there aren't any prominent socialists on the ballot in the Democratic Party. Liberals and Neo-Liberals aren't part of the left or our allies. Never forget what the Liberals did to Rosa Luxemburg. That being said, I do believe in leftist unity, and Marxists should work with socialists and anarchists to work together to defeat capitalism. We also should show our support for Marxist revolutionaries in the third-world as best as we can.
I believe scientific advancement is a corner stone of a Marxist society. We cannot achieve a stateless society until we've developed an Artificial Intelligence sophisticated enough to run society without human interference, and Marxist societies should invest heavily in computer science, and technological advancement to create a self-aware AI to run society, and true communism cannot exist before we achieve the technological singularity. I am also a transhumanist who believes we should allow designer children within a socialist society to improve the general health of the species by eliminating genetic diseases. I also believe humans could be augmented in the future with computer implants that connect to the internet, bringing humanity closer together. Also, a Marxist society should heavily invest in space exploration so that eventually the vast majority of humanity can live in space. As an environmentalist, I believe this is the best thing humanity could do for the planet.