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I Need Help Finding A Mechanical Engineering Internship Around West Chester, PA
2012.05.15 19:29 jpm374 I Need Help Finding A Mechanical Engineering Internship Around West Chester, PA
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“I’m confident that Reddit could sway elections. We wouldn’t do it, of course. And I don’t know how many times we could get away with it. But, if we really wanted to, I’m sure Reddit could have swayed at least this election, this once.” - Reddit CEO
2023.05.29 14:19 traway9992226 Choosing between two job offers
Hi all,
I’m a recent grad trying to navigate my new career. I need some help choosing between two job offers, and was hoping to gain some insight.
I am conflicted due to the amount of expensive things coming up for me, but also want to break into the Defense sector and the Public position may help me. There is not room to negotiate with the Public entity unfortunately
My goals: Pay off student loans, save for grad school, break into defense sector, grad school pt 2, leave industry and go to academia in that order
The info: Loans: $21K principal, $45 interest
Offer 1 : $60k total comp, great benefits, Public sector so PSLF, WFH 3 days a week, MCOL area. Partners with top supply chain schools for discounts on grad degrees. Great team that’s very supportive, my internship FT offer.
Lots of mobility but slow progression financially, I would inch my way up
Offer 2: $82k total comp, pretty good benefits, private sector, WFH 3 days a week, LCOL area. F100, defense adjacent. No grad school assistance available that I know of. Rotational program
Does anyone have any advice? The responsibilities are similar between the two.
Thanks :)
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2023.05.29 14:19 SpaceboundtheGreen Game developer, coding
Hello People, Lately i want to do something related to programming, I’m an IT administrator at an IT company, im getting bored of the job. I found that i’d love to create games and get into the process, not sure where to start, I was told that i should learn C++ first. So should i learn C++ and then get a course about game development? Can you guide me to the right steps I should take? Thank you!
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2023.05.29 14:19 CloudPast Lime manager is unreachable? Advice needed
Hi, all. Ever since being accepted for a Café job on 29th March, my line manager hasn’t responded to any communication I’ve sent her
I emailed her on 1st April to ask when will I be starting, I got no reply. In the middle of April I called her and she never got back.
After getting in touch with HR, they said she’s on annual leave and will be in touch as soon as she’s back to discuss start dates. However, this was 2 weeks ago. Meaning I should’ve been contacted last week
I feel like I’ve been misled as to when I’m gonna start, because in the interview they said it’ll be mid-late April. So I assumed they needed someone urgently. I had to have a mandatory occupational health appointment on 9th May, which set things back slightly, but since then no one’s been in touch. So I fear maybe they are on a much slower schedule than I am.
The only contact I’ve received from my line manager was on 29th March when she called me to say I’ve been accepted
I don’t know what to do, I feel like emailing HR again if I don’t hear anything tomorrow. But I’ve emailed them plenty of times already, plus they said she’ll get back to me asap after annual leave. However I’m tired of waiting and from their email, her annual leave was supposed to end before last week.
Then again, I don’t understand why she completely ignored my emails and calls from April. Like, she didn’t even reply to them at all. She could’ve just said “you’ll start after your occupational health” and that would’ve explained everything. But she still hasn’t responded to them. I feel like it’s very unprofessional.
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2023.05.29 14:18 sapphireemberss mii wealth overflow sub helped me manifest $2000!
I’m not even capping. I listened to it last week on repeat for about 10 minutes. I even left a comment saying how “I’m a money magnet” and that “money finds me” etc. This was 5 days ago. Today I had nearly $2000 deposited into my bank account! I know where it was from (not work related, loan or as a gift), so it’s not a mistake but I was not expecting it at all!
I’ve briefly used money related subliminals in the past too, and they worked then as well. Seems the money/wealth related ones always work perfectly for me! Just celebrating a major W ❤️
Just let go and believe!
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2023.05.29 14:18 generalscruff The /r/NFFC End of Season Awards Night
Venue - Poet's Corner
Dress Code - Black Tie
Food and drink - Cheese cobs with Madri
Ladies and Gentlemen it is my pleasure to announce the
/NFFC end of season award winners as chosen by you (or at least those who bothered to vote and submit the form)!
Player of the Season Very strong decision here with around 75% of votes going to none other than Morgan Gibbs-White!
Signing of the Season Another win for MGW here but less overwhelming. Honourable mentions go to Felipe and Danilo who came 2nd and 3rd respectively with a good number of votes apiece.
Most Improved Player None other than the blonde shithouse straight out of Hucknall, as you voted for Joe Worrall for most improved.
The Sir Kenneth Burns Memorial Award for Pashun As voted for by a committee of yer da and a selection of Nottingham Post commentators, Ryan Yates wins the pashun and dersiah award.
Flop of the Season Incredibly close voting, we have taken the decision to commission two wooden spoons to hand out here. Take a bow Jonjo Shelvey and Jesse Lingard, you really were shit. I wonder if that lad who got a Lingard tattoo is going to the laser clinic anytime soon.
Goal of the Season This one probably kept the scorer off the Flop of the Season shortlist. Chris Wood, you might have been a dire signing but we'll always remember your goal against Manchester City to give us the 1-1 moral victory.
Away Day of the Season Quite close voting, but you voted for the sole away win as being the away day of the season. Fair enough, not like Southampton has owt better to do.
Home Game of the Season You voted for the win against Arsenal at home which secured Premier League survival. Fair enough, gutted I couldn't make it.
Brice Samba Memorial Plate for Shithouse of the Season Yateseh wins this one again with a very honourable mention to Serge Aurier for services to on-pitch antics.
Chant of the Season Again very close so we have decided to give two awards.
Thirty signings who gives a fuck, Nottingham Forest are staying up and the
Danilo chant.
Team of the Season Quite strong voting choices here, with only the goalkeeper being a relatively close vote. Your team of the season is as follows
Henderson
Niakhate
Felipe
Aurier
Renan Lodi
Mangala Yates
Danilo
Awoniyi
Gibbs-White
Johnson
Substitute bench Navas
Worrall
Boly
Williams
Kouyate
Scarpa
Lingard
Worst Pundit Chris Sutton. You boring cunt.
Most Rattled Fanbase Good job Wolves won this one, we're rapidly running out of spicy matches after the sheer amount of Leicester and Leeds Ls.
Shitpost of the Season The Madri psyop/campaign/prank won this as a collective effort. For best individual post, please take a bow
question-guru for
ordering the subreddit flag.
Shitposter of the Season Again we're going to award two owing to a relatively tight vote. The winners are
me and
userunknowne who has really come into his own this season as an elite shitposter, well done all.
footage of my acceptance speech Grass of the Year Award for Worst Lineup Predictions You all voted for 'that fella down the pub' or some variant thereof. Proving that perhaps the Thurland isn't the best place to get Real News.
Non-Shitpost Contributor of the Season Congratulations
coolica, and thank you for keeping the match threads pristine for us with only the relevant statistics shown.
Best pub for prematch drinks You all voted the Trent Navigation as the best pre-match pub with an honourable mention to the official
/nffc Politburo pub, the Poet's Corner.
Favourite prematch pint Nothing like a refreshing Madri
tm. Most pointless football statistic In hindsight I should have put possession as an option, but xG remains utterly pointless.
Above all, like in a school assembly give yourselves a round of applause for making this sub such a pleasure to post on. Obviously it gets a bit lighter over the summer but we'll be hopefully coming into the new season with ideas on how to make things even more based.
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2023.05.29 14:18 Dissodelic Weed can really bring out the shitty sides in people and change them for the worst.
I've been smoking weed since i was 15 years old (21 now) and have had many stoner friends in that time. Many people can conrol their use and see when it's negatively affecting personal relationships.
But there are a few, one of them was my best friend for many years, that really let themselves go. They become forgetful af and just don't care as much about anything anymore. It is kind of similar as with harder drug addictions. Nowhere near as extreme, but it still really stunts their growth as a person and makes them a hassle to deal with.
For example: one time i had to wait 2 hours for this friend in front of the hospital where we agreed to meet after the hospital. This is a place almost an hour away from where i live, but i had an appointment before in that city so i asked him if he wanted to do something (same day). I even told him "just be sure to text me when you finished".
I was waiting for an hour called, no response, no texts, pretty annoying. Waited an other hour and now it was really bothering me. Finally he texted me and said "sorry totally forgot you were waiting for me at the hospital, but it might still take a while cause i'm with my mom right now and driving to this place (20min away) and buy her some wine because mothers day is coming up". (It was like 4 days before)
Now i was furious and said that this is disrespectful and a shitty thing to do to a friend that's been waiting like 2 hours for you. Also he said i couldn't come with because his mom knows i smoke and doesn't like me. He still didn't pick up the phone so i texted him "you dude this is fucked up i'm going home". Then he immediately called me back "yo dude there's too much traffic and stuff so i'm just gonna hop out here so we can meet anyways, sorry you had to wait but shit happens".
And stuff like this happened more than once recently. He was totally different a couple years ago, also his personality seems kind of dumbed down. But when i try to tell him this, he kind of agrees that he should quit and he forgets everything. But he seems to not take it seriously, never went to therapy and when i ask why he still smokes so much if he knows it's not good for him says "but dude i just like it too much" or "it's too chill". He still never tried to get professional help or anything.
Also he's often too lazy to leave the house and come over, so mostly our friend group only sees him anymore when we come to him. This has led to us distancing ourselves from him. So many people have told him, his mom screams at him to stop but he just doesn't listen.
Of course this is an extreme and doesn't happen to everyone, even if they smoke 24/7 like him. But it really sucks. I want my friend back :/
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2023.05.29 14:18 jele77 Diagnosed since August 22 - my perspective
There is so much bias and wrong information about ADHD, I too had some of those.
I thought it would be easier with meds, that suddenly I can function just like a neurotypical. And it seems a lot of husbands here are sceptical about ADHD and then expect the meds to fix everything.
The meds do help, but for me I can say the meds are more like opening doors, that did not exist before. I can see things I did not see before (when topics are switched, when we move away from the original goal, that there are goals at all). I still don't really have a sense of time and my skills regarding the first things I mentioned are so low. 😞 I do feel like a kid or toddler sometimes.
The upside is, I waste less energy, because I am masking less. I am also slowly working to not use anxiety to manage my symptoms. This is slowly letting me have more energy and a more balanced and healthy life. I am still very very exhausted after a work day (everyone is exhausted, but I come to realize its way more extreme for me). I barely manage to relax on the weekend and I never plan anything extra. I have my online friends and game/stream a lot and this helps me, but I feel I dont have enough time to fully recover and do everything I want to do.
I have managed to build up routines over the last 3 years and they help me a lot. Its still easy to get off track and start nearly from scratch.
In general it often feels I manage to move one step forward with all I have, to then easily start 2 steps backward again and repeat 🥲 Its frustrating for those around me, but its most frustrating for myself.
Thanks for reading and thanks for you all being so open and helpful. Adapting my thoughts to what is a neutral day and what is s good day, is helping me. <3
What i wanted to say is, managing our ADHD is a lot of work, especially when one is without privileges or support, meds are very helpful but just one part. Unlearning all the unhealthy ways to manage symptoms, unlearning masking and learning this whole new world of skills is exciting but also exhausting and a lot. Most people don't work on themselves to this degree.
Still don't get discouraged no matter where you are in your journey. Try to stay on track and be kind to yourself, you are beautiful and you are loved the way you are and wherever you are 🥰
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2023.05.29 14:18 Efficient_Excuse4121 What should I do?
I need your help! I am trying to find a job that will suit my interests and make me happy, but I'm extremely confused. I am soon going into my final year of high-school and I need to chose a career to pursue. I am an average student who loves animated cartoons and stories. So far, I have made the decision to look into psychology, since the facts are interesting but I am not too sure about it.
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2023.05.29 14:17 ConnectionRare8127 AITA for not wanting my kids to be around her?
My ex (M39) divorced me(F38) for a younger woman(mid 20s I think). I'll call her Mallory
We have 2 kids together(M13, F8) who both seem to think Mallory is just amazing. I have to admit that Mallory does a very good job pretending to be this really nice stepmom to them
I'm sick of hearing about her and how awesome she is. The worst one was a few days ago when my son was saying that Mallory told them she doesn't want kids because she loves her bonus kids so much and wants to just raise them
I hate how she is pretending to be all nice and making sure my kids are on her side so I called my ex and told him that I don't want my kids around her new plaything and we need to change the custody agreement
He thinks I'm an asshole but am I really?
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2023.05.29 14:17 daisy248 I'm a failed dentist and I'm totally lost?
My first job ever was as a general dentist. I worked for 3+ years only to find out I absolutely HATED it. Dentistry made me feel depressed, anxious and stressed all the time. Plus, I wasn't a very good dentist either because I have shaky hands.
Meanwhile I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a condition in which stress is very bad because it triggers the disease.
I decided to change careers because I was so miserable. I took a sales job at a healthcare company and started studying Management at night. I decided to go back to college because as a dentist I didn't have many job options (at least in my country).
Now I work as a sales person. It's not stressful at all to me but turns out I'm not great at sales either. I'm not a natural seller and I don't love working to meet sales goals every month, I feel like my job is always on the line.
Now I'm considering switching again, maybe to work as a dental hygienist since dental cleaning was the only treatment I actually enjoyed performing as a dentist. But that would mean I wasted my time and money on a post graduate course in Management.
I honestly feel a little lost and have no idea what to do. I feel like I suck at everything and have no talent.
TLDR - I quit dentistry to work in sales and I'm not very good as sales either. I'm considering switching jobs again but feel lost.
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2023.05.29 14:17 fangb1te Biobloc for adults near me
im an adult 19yom lookin to expand my palate with the biobloc stage 1 is there any providers in the austin or dallas area that are good? also ive heard ALF is a very similar alternative but does that help move up the mandible too
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2023.05.29 14:17 photoradio_ Would you like a tea? (22/Germany)
Good Day! I am just testing a How are you doing? Did you have a pleasant day or night? Tell me about it! I'll make a cup of tea now before showering and doing my morning routine. Would you like to have a tea, too? I moved on Friday so everything is still a bit chaotic, haha. I'm thinking about how to best organize things in my new apartment, maybe you'd like to help me?
I enjoy travel and have been to thirteen different countries so far. Lately I mostly travel to different cities that are close by! I love taking public transport and listening to music during it - then again, I pretty much always listen to music. Exploring is another great thing and my biggest passion is probably photography (especially when combining all these things).
I read a lot and enjoy writing, too, as well as editing photos I take. I am a bit of a creative person and am also very much into self-improvement! I am learning French, cook and bake and like to cycle a lot. There are lots of other topics that interest me, like urban planning, technology, history, horror, politics and... Just a whole lot more. I also have a fable for fancy lighting and radios!
So... If any of that sounds interesting to you, why not reach out? We might have a pleasant conversation or might even become friends! We could share stories, photos that we took, just talk about our days, jobs, studies, life... I am open to many things! All I ask for is for you to not be inappropriate and to put in a little bit of effort! I am looking forward to meeting you. :)
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2023.05.29 14:17 Programmyboy Can they make us carry mail today?
Hey USPS. I usually lurk and don't post. But I am a new (city) carrier. Upgraded from PTF to full time career. It has been more than 90 days since becomeing full time (I bid on and was awarded my own route) and I'm on day like 130 or something so I am Union protected. We are extremely short. I was holiday forced in and chose to do an exchange for 8 hours work for 8 hours annual leave and work for no pay for those hours. Now that I am here they are telling me I MUST carry mail today for 6 hours (aka a full route) that is not my own. On Top of about 100 packages amazon (routing is messed up so like 20 are not on the dynamic delivery scanner option). I believe they cannot force us to carry mail on the holiday but am unsure. I do not believe a Stewart was forced in and they are asking many people to carry mail. Which I have heard many agree to but I don't want to today if not required. I can do packages however long but I don't want my job to be in jeopardy due to defiance. Any opinions or help is appreciated! I am leaving to do the packages and told them I was planning to get the mail when I returned to get management of my back because my truck is full.
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2023.05.29 14:17 photoradio_ Would you like a Tea? [Friendship] (22/Germany)
Good Day! I am just testing a How are you doing? Did you have a pleasant day or night? Tell me about it! I'll make a cup of tea now before showering and doing my morning routine. Would you like to have a tea, too? I moved on Friday so everything is still a bit chaotic, haha. I'm thinking about how to best organize things in my new apartment, maybe you'd like to help me?
I enjoy travel and have been to thirteen different countries so far. Lately I mostly travel to different cities that are close by! I love taking public transport and listening to music during it - then again, I pretty much always listen to music. Exploring is another great thing and my biggest passion is probably photography (especially when combining all these things).
I read a lot and enjoy writing, too, as well as editing photos I take. I am a bit of a creative person and am also very much into self-improvement! I am learning French, cook and bake and like to cycle a lot. There are lots of other topics that interest me, like urban planning, technology, history, horror, politics and... Just a whole lot more. I also have a fable for fancy lighting and radios!
So... If any of that sounds interesting to you, why not reach out? We might have a pleasant conversation or might even become friends! We could share stories, photos that we took, just talk about our days, jobs, studies, life... I am open to many things! All I ask for is for you to not be inappropriate and to put in a little bit of effort! I am looking forward to meeting you. :)
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2023.05.29 14:16 Istareathings I posted Yesterday with a single image of this beautiful insect. Identification will be appreciated, thank you. Very shy, it took me awhile to take these as it fly of once I come near. It is always alone and comes to the same place often for weeks now. No nest in sight. South Africa.
2023.05.29 14:16 endersgame69 Kayobi's Days Off C9
That was strange. Very strange. One show passed into the next and I wasn’t sure just what was going on…I mean, I didn’t notice it at first, he has other friends. He could have stopped by someone else’s place.
‘Could they have ‘not’ listened to me after all?’ That thought did occur to me, that maybe the ones who hit him, got together a group and ambushed him? My brow furrowed, ‘If they did that…’ I paused the show right as the boorish butch girl was getting ready to punch the computer nerd…because what’s a trash anime without dramatic overreactions?
I began to tap my foot, then checked the time on my phone. ‘School ended two hours ago…’ I thought while I read off the time. Jin was generally the sort of boy you could almost, if not quite, set your watch by. He always left for school early, and even if he dallied a little bit on his way home, he ‘generally’ didn’t delay except at the end of the school week.
And today was a Thursday.
So I did the only logical thing, I shifted back to my natural state to cast a more powerful spell. A swapper’s body isn’t that different from that of a human, at least in its basic body plan. Like if all a human saw of us was our shadow, they might think they were looking at a slightly ‘off’ human’s outline.
Basic, low level magic didn’t require any transformation or ‘swapping’ of my form, but search magic was different, there’s so much data in the world at any given time that without our natural biology to filter it, we just can’t use the spell.
[H’craes r’etemarap Jinn] I spoke the spell aloud to increase it’s potency, just in case, and a white dot formed in the air above my outstretched palm, it pulsed, then exploded like a star going supernova, the billions of little photons spreading out from my palm and touching everything as they dispersed, passing through objects and feeding an endless stream of images into my brain all at once, which I was rapidly filtering through. I didn’t really like to use a spell like this.
Point in fact… I hated it.
I hated it because you can see just… all the things, including things you don’t want to. I winced as points of light passed through occupied bathrooms and busy bedrooms in surrounding apartments. “And I had the nerve to call Jinn a hentai.” I muttered under my breath as more images flowed into my head, the spell was beyond the apartments now, and the endless points of light that were so minute that it was no more than starlight on a cloudy night to human eyes, continued to spread out over streets and into other buildings, offices and places of employment.
The bullyboys were sitting on the old bench where I met them before… they were not nearly so cocky as before, if anything, they were quite sullen. ‘Strange for them to be there at an hour like this… just doing what… nothing?’ I wondered about that, but there was no time to think on it. At least I could safely rule them out. I was now well outside the reach of the neighborhood, and there was no sign of him.
‘It isn’t any of your business.’ I told myself, but I didn’t cancel the spell.
The search went on.
And then… I found him.
And I felt stupid.
‘The hospital… there he is, sitting next to a bed, and yes, there’s his mother…’ She didn’t look good. There was a tube in her throat, an intravenous drip in her arm, her eyes were closed, and she even had tubes in her nose. None of those were desirable as far as I knew.
I didn’t know a lot about human sickness, and why would I? Human viruses and bacteria don’t impact me. But I knew those weren’t good things. I’ve never heard someone say, ‘My health is great, I’m actually getting some tubes shoved down my throat this weekend.’ So I figured it was pretty much the opposite of a good sign.
I canceled the spell. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could do about her being sick. Healing magic isn’t something I know anything about. My skills are far more…visceral.
That didn’t mean I was completely helpless.
I reclaimed my human guise, hit the shower, and changed into a plaid skirt and white button down shirt with some flat shoes. I even took the time to take a brush to my fox-fur colored hair and straighten it out before giving it one tie in the back close to my head.
Search magic over an area that large was… not inconsiderable, especially when searching for an individual target, so I did still have to wait a few minutes to cast another spell, or rather, to make sure I could cast it twice.
[t’ropelet f’les l’atipsoh] and then… I was gone. It was dark out when I reappeared on the roof of the hospital, and I rolled my eyes at my absurdity. ‘Of course it put you on the roof, it was the place closest to the target you pictured…’ The winds were blowing high and my skirt danced around me as my hair was lifted up from my back, and I went to the edge to peer down to the bottom. There was nobody around, at least. So… I added some wings to my back, and hopped off, I knew well enough how to make ones that would arrest my descent, that was actually one of the first things I did when I picked Earth as my vacation site.
Swappers aren’t the most popular race in the Universe, and you never know when you’ll have to get gone fast, or how. So I made sure I knew all sorts of shapeshifting techniques to adapt to a wide variety of situations.
I landed out of view, dropped down to one knee and drew the faux wings back into my body, then walked around the front entrance. The lights inside were on and flickered a little when the glass double doors opened. Like most hospitals, this one had a lot of seating in the front area, halls diverged in every direction. A bored, sleepy receptionist in white sat behind a curved wooden desk that had a series of computer monitors evenly spaced along it… but hers was the only one occupied.
I approached the woman, she had curly hair and a world weary expression while she worked at her computer, and didn’t look up when I came near. “Hi, I’m here to see Miss Toriyama, can you tell me what room she’s in?” I asked as cheerily as I could.
She looked up from her computer screen for a moment and huffed, “Visiting hours are over.”
“But-” I started to ask.
“Visiting hours are over. You can return tomorrow morning at nine. Thank you.” She said, then pretended I didn’t exist.
I knew these types. We have them at the agency. Bureaucrats don’t change much from one world to the next, I guess.
“That’s fine, I’ll be happy to come back tomorrow, but could you tell me what room I’d need to go see, so I don’t have to waste your time first thing in the morning?” I batted my eyelashes at her, and at the prospect of not having me come see her twice, she seemed to waver.
“Room nine-zero-one.” She answered after a moment’s look, and I turned around to walk away.
But I never reached the exit. I just waited until I was sure I wasn’t going to be seen, doing what I did next.
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2023.05.29 14:15 Bright-Bee7219 Hello, I am wondering if any of you can help me choose a mid-budget tour?
Okay so I am a 9 to 5 job holder with 50k salary. Me and my other 3 friends were wondering which would be the best place to visit and what sort of car would be suitable.
So as of now we have selected 3 place where we can use our 4 days leave. At first we have fairy meadows, second shogran and lastly arang kel. Now budget in not expandable and we already purchased camps, sleeping bags, portable stove and other camping accessories from our last tour so we are also open to the option of camping. What I really want to ask is if someone can tell me which would be the best place to go from above 3 and which car would be the best to choose, we can arrange a cultus new model, alto new model or BRV (last option). I am personally preferring Shogran Valley with camping and BRV car. But I do not know much about the place, I have been to Arang kel before but not the other two places. We want to do this tour by ourselves not with any tour company so it would be very helpful if any of you can guide us on this subject as much as one can, especially about suitable vehicle, hotels to pick, points to visit and round about budget. Btw I live in gujranwala so that will be the departure point.
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2023.05.29 14:14 Salt-Delay-2699 NMom likely used me to baby trap my dad
tw: addiction, parental loss
So I made a post about this yesterday but I was still pretty in it and was struggling with the right words. I have my thoughts more in order and even touched base with my other siblings and just double check things. I guess I am just hoping to vent because this all feels wild and if I was not no contact with her already I would be now.
My mom is my dad's second wife as his first wife (I'll call her T) passed away in 1995. My half brothers are from her and I am the only child from my parent's marriage. Well, our dad passed in 2013 and that was the start of shit coming out that I never knew about him like the fact after T's passing he fell into a heavy pill addiction that nearly killed him. He never wanted me to know this since he was deeply ashamed of his addiction. My uncles said fuck that and the day he died it became an open season of family secrets to the point my eldest brother and my sister-in-law took me home early so I wouldn't hear more of it. Tldr; it was super bad and my dad lied a lot to cover his addiction and his likely relapses that to me growing were just weird mood swings.
At the height of his addiction he started "dating" my mom who was his neighbor. My mom always explained the start of their romance (calling it that now makes me feel sick) as her swooping into my dad and brother's lives when it was at the worst. In reality, they were more like fuck buddies and my dad only married her after she left the positive pregnancy test on his porch with a letter saying "You will never see your daughter" after he tried to end things with her. Roughly 2 years to the day of T passing, my parents were shotgun married in a courthouse in plain clothes with me stumbling into existence 3 months later. Shocking to know, it was not a happy marriage and he basically emotionally checked out of his marriage to her my whole life and they stopped sharing a room by the time I was double digits.
I always knew her version of events were likely not real but it just feels like another part of my dad's life was a total lie. He is not around to explain things and while both my brothers always tell me they see me as dad's kid only, I have no idea how they can stand me existing. She even turned our dad on them for years with them only making up again when he was basically at death's door. I know she made the choices she did but how the fuck do you live with the fact you are the reason a family broke down even more? I also just feel guilty for even feeling bad about this because I was not the worst affected.
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2023.05.29 14:14 Ill-Sentence-3607 39 years old, newly diagnosed Idiopathic Cervical Dystonia
Hello everyone. I am a pharmacist and newly diagnosed with cervical dystonia. It really affects my job that I need to financially survive. My head bobs and pulls to the left all day long and then My neck and shoulders are in pain. I refuse to take benzos, baclofen or high doses of propranolol- all will make me drowsy and I need to make clinical decisions at work. Botox was denied by my insurance. I went to see an acupunturist last week, it helped for about an hour after I left but then symptoms returned. She is into chinese medicine and besides the dumb diagnosis of idiopathic wants to find a root cause. I havent had any accidents or traumas. Just came out of nowhere. People say stress induced but where I am not to where I was 4 years ago-I know my body and I do not feel it is stress. Anyone have any advice? I do use a heating pad multiple times a day, its just disruptive when I am focusing on patients charts in the hospital to make sure their meds are correct.
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2023.05.29 14:13 thg4588 How to manage my money better? What else do I need to be doing?
I would like some advice on what to do with my money and on what else do I need to be doing.
25F single with no kids for at least the next five years, stable job, making 66k before taxes. Also looking for jobs to increase my income. I try to save as much as I can, I only splurge on family birthdays and vacation time, and even then, I still like to stick to the budget. I have a few credit cards that I use strategically to get the most rewards/points and always pay them off. Never had credit card debt before and dont plan on having any in the future. This is what Im currently doing:
Biggest debt is my mortgage: $168,000 @3.25
Car Loan: $12,000 @2.75
Monthly expenses ~2500 - This includes mortgage, hoa, utilities, car payment, car insurance, gas, food, etc.
It took some time to adjust my expenses and see how much I was able to save after purchasing my condo. Since Jan this year I have been able to put aside between 900 and 1200 every month.
401k: Currently contributing 5%, my employer offers 100% match up to 3% and 50% on the 4 & 5%. I have ~18k in there
Roth IRA: Created an account this year, however, I have not contributed anything. Probably should?
Savings: 6k. I have a vacation coming up to so that will go down by 1k. Also that's on a BofA savings account giving me not interest or the 0.01% which is the same thing
I have an 11month CD @ 5% with 11k in it. Maturity date is in Jan 2024 I think.
Emergency fund of 4 months in a HYSA with 10k in it.
Fidelity Brokerage Account: I have 10k in Money Market Funds giving 4.49% yield at the moment.
Crypto account with about: $1200
I have invested in the stock market before for a couple years. I made a lot of money which helped me buy the condo but I also lost a lot of money lol so Im just taking a break from it at the moment. Ive been looking at the boggleheads and thinking of putting some money in index funds but have not yet.
What are your thoughts? Should I start putting money in the Roth? Do I need to increase my emergency fund? Should I pay off my car? Do I bump my 401k contribution? What else am I missing? Any help is appreciated.
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2023.05.29 14:13 420andsex Confused about my career growth
Hello guys, I'm a 2022 CSE graduate. I got a remote job as a Junior Developer from NQT with a salary of 4 LPA. We recently had an annual appraisal assessment after which my package increased to 4.2 LPA. I was not happy with the increment being so low. So it got me thinking about whether I should start preparing for a switch to a different tech company. But I don't think I'm enjoying coding per se. So I'm looking to pursue MBA as soon as I complete my 2 years in this company. Wanted to know your opinions about this decision of mine. Will it help in accelerating my career growth?
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2023.05.29 14:12 quietpilgrim Chronic Illness and Falling Behind in Life (Because You Just Can Never Get Enough Done)
I've often pondered if many of my "life problems" are related to just poor time management. Or maybe I'm just unmotivated or lazy. Or, conversely that I have been overambitious and took too much on. Of course, there's loads of advice out there on how to deal with each of these. But as the old song says about "the good advice that you just can't take", when you have a chronic illness, there's so much advice that I really just can't take - but without the ability to take that advice, life starts to spiral downward.
Back in junior high, I had a science teacher that talked about why you can't put 40 pounds in a 20 pound bag. That has life implications too. And as chronic illness sufferers, our bags are so much smaller than everyone else's due to the limitations our diseases bring. "Life", in so many ways today, demands that you try to stuff 40 pounds into that 20 pound bag. Work multiple jobs. Have that side hustle. Because you're going to need that just to scrape by. I don't need to tell any of you how expensive life has gotten over the past few years. Life demands something of us, like a villain who puts a knife to our throat demanding $1000, but as chronic illness sufferers, we only have $500 to give.
I've never been a "high energy person." I was plagued with chronic ear infections as a child. After a failed marriage in my early 20's, I became a single parent and cobbled together enough work to keep us afloat while being there for my children. I'd go to the doctor and tell him how run down I felt. Finding little with basic blood tests, I was told to go on vitamins, which didn't do anything for me. In my 30's the chronic ear infections came back with a vengeance, this time with other correlating problems that drain me even more. After multiple ENT's, I finally found one who cared enough to put a tube in, which while not solving the actual problem, at least gave a path for the ear to drain. But by this time, I now have diagnoses of a vestibular disorder and chronic fatigue syndrome. At least that's the official diagnosis. But none of my doctors (ENT, neurologist, ophthalmologists, rheumatologists), are absolutely certain about any of this.
I used to say that when you have time, you have no money. And when you have money, you have no time. This illness has robbed me of both. After working with an occupational therapist, I came to the conclusion that I maybe have 6-8 "good hours" per day to give. Not to a job. To life. The problem is that life still demands so much more of me. When life demands 12-14 hours a day, and you can only do 8, what happens to the other 4-6 hours? It just piles up. I'm dealing with literally years of piled up stuff that needs to be dealt with, and more gets piled up every day. All these things that pile up become emotionally charged due to my negligence in dealing with them. And then feelings of inadequacy, anger and disgust set in.
On Saturday, I recorded my "useful" activities for the day:
- Shower and get done
- Eat breakfast
- Make bed
- Take garbage out of bedroom
- Fold laundry and put away
- Make and eat lunch
- Clean out one month's worth of emails and spam folder
- Wash dishes
- Work for 2.5 hours (remotely)
- Make and eat dinner
- Go for short bike ride
I don't post these here to make anyone feel good or bad about where they are at (I know from reading on here that some of you are in much worse ways than I am). But that doesn't put a dent in all the other things I really needed and wanted to get done. I never feel like I'm doing enough, and I'm worried about how all of this is going to affect my future if I can't somehow find a way "get it together".
I guess this is just a rant, but if anyone has useful advice, I'd be grateful. Thank you for listening.
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