Oral b electric toothbrush sam's club
Upcoming live music events in Nottingham (week starting May 29)
2023.05.29 12:24 NottinghamBot Upcoming live music events in Nottingham (week starting May 29)
Mon 29 May 2023
| Time | Artists | Genre | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|
| 18:00 | Guvna B (with Jeremiah Asiamah) | British, Christian, Hip-Hop | Rough Trade |
| 19:30 | Emarosa | Post-Hardcore | Rescue Rooms |
Tue 30 May 2023
| Time | Artists | Genre | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|
| 09:00 | Sir Chloe | Garage Rock | Rescue Rooms |
| 18:00 | Sir Chloe | Garage Rock | Rescue Rooms |
| 18:00 | Sarabeth Tucek | Singer-Songwriter, Female Vocalists, Acoustic | Rough Trade |
| 19:00 | Midge Ure (with Midge Ure's Band Electronica, India Electric Co.) | New Wave, 80S, Pop | Rock City |
| 19:00 | Anna B Savage (with Albert Gold) | Indie Rock | Bodega Social |
| 19:00 | Lady Nade | Jazz, Soul, Bristol | Metronome |
Wed 31 May 2023
| Time | Artists | Genre | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|
| 18:00 | Demob Happy | Grunge, Indie Rock | Rough Trade |
| 18:30 | MONO (with GGGOLDDD) | Gothic Metal | Rescue Rooms |
| 19:00 | Talvin Singh | Electronic, Chillout | Metronome |
| 21:00 | Snazzback | Jazz, Soul, Funk | Peggy's Skylight |
| N/A | Guy Davis | Blues | The Chapel at The Angel Microbrewery |
| N/A | Brutalligators (with Big Hug) | Indie, Rock, Alternative | JT Soar |
Thu 01 Jun 2023
| Time | Artists | Genre | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|
| 09:00 | Ben Mark Smith (with Ellie Stainsby) | Binks Yard | |
| 18:00 | Swim Deep (with Overpass, wych elm) | Indie, Dream Pop, Indie Rock | Rescue Rooms |
| 19:00 | Sweet Electric | The Old Salutation Inn | |
| 19:30 | Joshua Idehen | Dubstep | The Malt Cross |
Fri 02 Jun 2023
| Time | Artists | Genre | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|
| 18:30 | Ian Moss | Australian, Rock | Rescue Rooms |
| 19:00 | Chuck Prophet (with Chuck Prophet & The Mission Express) | Singer-Songwriter, Americana, Rock | Metronome |
| 19:00 | Sam Bailey | Pop, British, Female Vocalists | Live at Binks Yard |
| 19:00 | Buzzard Buzzard Buzzard | Indie Rock, Glam Rock, Rock | Bodega Social |
| 19:00 | Gorilla Riot | Rock, Grunge, Hard Rock | Ye Olde Salutation Inn (The Sal) |
| 19:00 | Regal Cheer (with Uzumaki (UK), Too Piste) | Indie Rock | JT Soar |
| 21:00 | (CLUB)Damaged | Hardcore/Hardstyle, Bounce | The Tunnel Club |
| 22:00 | Ben Snow | Drum And Bass, Jungle, Jump Up | Stealth |
| 22:00 | (CLUB)JUICED Fridays - Pryzm | R&B, Deep House, Pop | Pryzm |
| N/A | MC Wotsee (with Dj Vibes, Mark Breeze) | Tunnel Nightclub |
Sat 03 Jun 2023
| Time | Artists | Genre | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|
| 19:00 | Sleep In Motion (with Eryx London) | Bodega Social | |
| 19:30 | Jack Lukeman | Irish | Rough Trade |
| 20:00 | Chris Cooper Band (with The Slow Cooked Bears, fever jaw) | Via Fossa | |
| 21:30 | (CLUB)I'll House You | Deep House, Tech House | The I Club |
| 22:00 | (CLUB)LYFECODE Saturdays - Pryzm | House, R&B, Pop | Pryzm |
| 22:00 | (CLUB)K.I.S.S. Nottingham | UK Garage, R&B, Reggae | The Wine Room |
| 22:30 | (CLUB)Inovate Presents: Venjent | Drum n Bass, Jungle | White Noise |
Sun 04 Jun 2023
| Time | Artists | Genre | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|
| 12:00 | Mark Harrison | Blues | Peggy's Skylight |
| 17:00 | Gin Annie (with Kickin' Valentina, White Raven Down) | Rescue Rooms | |
| 18:00 | Mahuki | Reggae, Deejay Toaster | Peggy's Skylight |
| 22:00 | Continental Lovers | Tap 'n' Tumbler | |
| 23:00 | (CLUB)Sundays @ The Cell - 2-4-1 Drinks Before Midnight | R&B, Drum n Bass, Disco | The Cell |
| N/A | Jonathan Deasy (with Liminal Haze, Blackcloudsummoner) | Noise, Ambient, Abstract | JT Soar |
Feel free to use these posts to share information regarding any other gigs.
2023.05.29 10:19 QuittingKteam Quitting Kratom wiki + other sidebar info.
(From the sidebar of QuittingKratom. Posting for those who are new, or may need a "refresher" or for those who are on the Reddit mobile app and have difficulty finding the sidebar information. If you encounter someone brand new here, feel free to link this to them. So many of us are "lost" when we're new and have no idea where to start. This wiki is a good place to start, along with the support from the wonderful members of this subreddit. If you're looking for more links to helpful information from the sidebar, scroll to the bottom of this post. I've added them there, after the Wiki information, for convenience.)
So you've decided you want to quit Kratom.
submitted by QuittingKteam to quittingkratom [link] [comments]
So you've decided you want to quit Kratom.
Withdrawal Symptoms
You may experience a number of withdrawal symptoms, both physical and psychological. Keep in mind that all humans are affected differently and experiences with symptoms will differ among us.Physical Withdrawal Symptoms
The most common physical withdrawal symptoms experienced are outlined below.Restless Leg Syndrome
Also known as RLS, this is the most common symptom of withdrawal. It can be described as an irresistible urge to move one's body to stop uncomfortable or odd sensations. It most commonly affects the legs, but can also affect the arms, torso, and head. Moving the affected body part modulates the sensations, providing temporary relief. On average, this symptom will be almost entirely gone by day 7.Insomnia
As you would expect with RLS, insomnia is another commonly experienced withdrawal symptom. Lack of sleep usually occurs due to RLS, but it can continue even without RLS present.Uncontrollable Body Temperature
This withdrawal symptom can be common, yet not as common as the two above. This symptom causes the body to experience drastic changes in temperature within a short period of time. This probably sounds much worse than it really is, but during the day it is fine. At night it involves being cold, putting the covers over you, then being really warm and throwing all the covers off.Other symptoms
In addition to the above, you may experience a runny nose, teary eyes, sneezing, diarrhea, and an aching body. These are generally not a major problem. For diarrhea, loperamide can help (see below). For aches and pains, OTC pain relievers such as Advil can be useful.Psychological Withdrawal Symptoms
Commonly referred to as PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms). Usually the psychological withdrawals tend to kick in after the physical withdrawals have passed. Described below are the most common psychological withdrawals that are experienced.Lethargy
The lack of energy and enthusiasm is the most common psychological withdrawal experienced. This symptom can be minor for some, but it is quite commonly major. Although ironic, a good remedy for this lethargic feeling is exercise. It may be hard to get exercising initially due to the lethargy, but many people experience a huge improvement in their mood afterwards.Cravings
Cravings are quite commonly experienced by addicts withdrawing from Kratom. Major cravings can cause addicts to relapse if the impulse is acted upon. Usually cravings don't last too long, and they seem to come in waves. Psychologically, cravings can play with your mind. You may find yourself thinking things like "I'll just take it this once, I've already made the decision to quit so I won't do it again".Depression
Depression can play a big part in relapse when it comes to recovery from Kratom addiction. Although some users have existing mood disorders or depression, the PAWS during Kratom withdrawal hugely amplify these feelings/mindsets. Expect to experience some mild to moderate depressed feelings during PAWS and prepare your mind to acknowledge that these feelings are caused by the Kratom withdrawal. You WILL feel better. Once again exercise is a HUGE help to mitigate the depression experienced during withdrawal. It has been proven that regular exercise is as effective than the most common anti-depressants.Taper vs. Cold Turkey
While one method may work for some, it may not work for another. We are all different and unique in many ways, including the way our body reacts to (lack of) substances.Tapering
Tapering has been tried many times by different people. Some found tapering helpful, others did not. The main advantages of tapering are:- Little to no physical withdrawals symptoms.
- Not as big of a shock on the body.
- Doesn't affect your day-to-day life as drastically as cold turkey (if you can't take time off work or don't have a weekend free).
- Requires a lot of self control and discipline.
- Easy to make an impulse decision to take more than your schedule planned.
- Although it may not impact your day-to-day life as drastically as cold turkey, the impact will be longer and more drawn out.
Cold Turkey
The cold turkey method seems to be the more preferable method as well as the most successful. The main advantages are:- Getting it over and done with, no drawn out symptoms.
- Improvement is felt much sooner since the withdrawals are not drawn out.
- Day-to-day life is not affected for as long as it would be tapering.
- Physical withdrawal symptoms that are taxing on the body.
- The withdrawals are much worse over a short period of time compared to tapering.
Managing Your Withdrawals
There are a few tried and tested methods to dealing with various withdrawals symptoms. They are described below.Exercise
The most effective way to make yourself feel better. It has been proven that regular exercise is as effective than the most common anti-depressants. The effects are very profound, and can remain present for hours. Exercise releases a flood of endorphins, directly stimulating your opioid receptors the same way Kratom does, reducing both physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms. Regular exercise will hasten the recovery process by bringing your body's endorphin system back online. It can be difficult to get started, but if you force yourself, you should find that it gets easier after only a few minutes as your heart starts pumping and the endorphins start flowing. Heavy weightlifting is one of the most efficient methods, in terms of benefits vs. time spent, but prolonged cardiovascular activity (jogging, bicycling, etc.) is also effective. Intense yoga is another option.Orgasm
When you stop taking Kratom, your sex drive may return with a vengeance. Take advantage of it :). Orgasm, like exercise, causes a release of endorphins.Meditation
It can be difficult when you are uncomfortable and your mind is racing, but a few minutes of meditation can significantly improve the way you feel. Close your eyes, and let your thoughts flow without trying to control or resist them. Take slow deep breaths, focusing on each inhale and exhale. Try not to think about anything else, but if a thought arises, let it be. Visualize each inhalation as bringing healing energy into your body, and each exhalation as removing negativity. Continue until you feel better, or longer, and repeat the process anytime you feel overwhelmed. Check out /meditation for great tips on meditation.Supplements
Loperamide
Warning, kratom and loperamide.. We don't know if loperamide (in the recommended dosage for diarrhea (https://www.drugs.com/dosage/loperamide.html)) combined with kratom has health risks (in particular heart issues at higher doses), or people could start to abuse it. It had been reported that even the recommended loperamide doses can cause a rebound of withdrawal symptoms after you stop using it . Therfore we don't recommend to use loperamide. Other warnings: At recommended doses, the half-life of loperamide is approximately 10 hours. However, with higher doses, even as little as 16 mg, longer half-lives have been observed (upwards of 41 hours). News videos: "it's actually potentially even worse than using heroin...", "Kratom and Loperamide is a dangerous combination".Supplements
There are a number of drugs and supplements that can improve mood, motivation, and sleep quality. Most of those listed are naturally derived, and many can be easily obtained at such locations as GNC, Vitamin Shoppe, pharmacies, and "natural" grocery stores, as well as online at sites like AllStarHealth, Bodybuilding.com, and Amazon.- Black seed oil. some qk members reported that they used 3 x 2 teaspoons daily at the beginning.
- L-theanine: Found in green tea, this substance has a calming effect and improves cognition. Useful both during the day and to help with sleep.
- Ashwagandha: The "Indian ginseng," Ashwagandha is an adaptogen that improves overall well-being. Like L-theanine, can be used both day and night. "In anxiety and depression, ashwagandha has been demonstrated to be as effective as some tranquilizers and antidepressant drugs. Specifically, oral administration of ashwagandha for five days suggested anxiety-relieving effects similar to those achieved by the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam (Ativan®), and antidepressant effects similar to those of the prescription antidepressant drug imipramine (Tofranil®)": look here.
- Rhodiola rosea: Another adaptogen, this one has mild stimulating qualities (but without the jitters of caffeine). Best taken during the day. (Warning: Rhodiola has MAOI activity and could potentially interact with other meds/supplements. Be careful, do your research, and start with small amounts.)
- DLPA: A combination of the natural "L" form and the synthetic "D" form of the amino acid phenylalanine, DLPA has been shown to fight depression and reduce pain by boosting dopamine levels and preventing the breakdown of enkephalins (similar to endorphins).
- L-tyrosine: boosts dopamine.
- L-phenylalanine: Try L-tyrosine first. If the results are not satisfactory try L-phenylalanine.
- Valerian root: Sleep aid. Smells terrible but can be rather effective. Common in "sleepy" teas.
- 5-HTP: Precursor to serotonin. Improves mood and sleep. People who are taking antidepressant medications should not take 5-HTP, because in that case common side effects are : *Agitation or restlessness *Confusion *Rapid heart rate and high blood pressure *Dilated pupils *Loss of muscle coordination or twitching muscles *Heavy sweating *Diarrhea *Headache *Shivering *goosebumbs"
- Tryptophan: (propably superior to 5-HTP).
- SAM-e: Is a quick acting antidepressant.
- Chamomile and passion flower: These two herbs, widely available as teas, can help with anxiety and insomnia. At least one ex-Kratom addict has reported that, in does of 2-4 teabags, they can be very effective. WARNING: Passion flower is a MAO inhibitor, don't use it together with kratom.
- Melatonin: The body's sleep hormone, used for regulating the sleep/wake cycle. Tells the body that it's time to sleep. Taking too much (more than a milligram or two) can screw up the body's circadian rhythm and have the opposite of the intended effect. Good in combination with valerian root and 5-HTP. Some feel very groggy after taking melatonin.
- Kava: An herb that reduces anxiety, but can be hit-or-miss when it comes to sleep.
- Chocolate: Contains phenethylamine, which reduces anxiety and improves mood and cognition. Buy a generous amount of dark chocolate with a high cacao concentration, and eat as much of it as you want. The more, the better. Alternatively, phenethylamine is available as a supplement.
- Magnesium: Helps with sleep. Many people believe that Calcium needs to be taking with Magnesium for absorption, but this is not true. Calcium and Magnesium actually compete for the same transport system into the blood so it is better to take them at different times during the day. The only time this competition is eliminated is in the case where calcium and magnesium are bound to a single amino acid and are called calcium and magnesium amino acid chelates, as opposed to calcium carbonate/citrate or magnesium oxide/citrate. Minerals in the amino acid chelate form have double the absorption rate of calcium carbonate and magnesium oxide because they do not have to be altered in order to enter the bloodstream. Source.
- Cannabis: Given its legal status, not everybody is able or willing to obtain it, but cannabis can potentially aid with a wide spectrum of withdrawal symptoms. Indica-dominant strains are recommended for insomnia and anxiety, while Sativas are better suited for improving mood, motivation, and appetite. (However, it should be noted that Sativas can worsen anxiety in some cases.) Medical dispensaries, if you have access, are the best option due to the wide variety of strains available. If you have had problems with other drugs or drug substitution in the past, it is advised not to use Cannabis after quitting Kratom as it may lead to another substitution.
Prescription drugs
In addition, there are various prescription drugs that can be of assistance. The ones listed below are prescription-only. These are not necessarily recommended; do your research before considering them. Be especially careful if you are taking any psychiatric prescriptions, such as SSRIs, MAOIs, or Wellbutrin. The following information is not a substitute for medical advice. Always consult your doctor. [We do not recommend to use this medications together with Kratom].- Gabapentin: Gabapentin is an epilepsy and nerve pain drug, which is also prescribed for the restless leg syndrome. The drug acts as a sedative. It also helps with sleep and gives you energy. Don't abuse it, gabapentin causes a withdrawal syndrome if you use it for too long (use it maximal 5-6 days). Drug experts say the effects of using gabapentin for long periods of time or in very high quantities, particularly among sensitive populations like pregnant women, are not well-known. Attention:"treatment with gabapentin is associated with a substantial increase in the risk of opioid-related death".
- Clonidine: Due to its lack of abuse potential, doctors will generally not hesitate to prescribe it for a patient undergoing withdrawals. Clonidine can "stop" an opioid withdrawal relatively effectively, which is (simplified) due to the following mode of action: Adrenaline docks onto two receptors when released: α1 and α2. Clonidine docks onto α2-adrenergic receptors and “blocks” them. Also lowering blood pressure, works against the "adrenaline rush". Clonidine has an idiosyncrasy, i.e. the first dose of the active ingredient triggers an effect opposite to the actual effect !. Clonidine doses must be slowly increased, starting at a low dose. It should also be noted that clonidine must not be discontinued immediately; the dose has to be slowly reduced, because otherwise there can be a blood pressure crisis - with an already destabilized blood pressure (due to withdrawal), extreme caution is required here and we strongly recommend that treatment with clonidine is only carried out under medical supervision. Existing depression can be exacerbated or a new depression can be triggered by using clonidine. Existing depression can be exacerbated or a new depression can be triggered by using clonidine.
- Modafinil/adrafinil (Provigil, Nuvigil): [Warning: Do not use Modafinil together with Kratom (it may cause seizures)] A unique, non-euphoric stimulant, used to treat narcolepsy, shift-work disorders, and by Air Force pilots as a replacement for amphetamine. This drug, at levels of 100-200mg per day, can relieve the malaise and lack of motivation associated with withdrawal. Should not be taken within 12 hours of bedtime. While Modafinil is under Schedule IV in the US, Adrafinil, which metabolizes to Modafinil in the liver, is unscheduled and can be easily purchased.
- Selegiline (L-deprenyl): A MAO-B inhibitor used to treat Parkinson's, this drug increases levels of dopamine in the brain and has been shown to increase lifespan in rats. Unlike traditional MAOIs, selegiline does not require dietary restrictions, and is generally considered quite safe at levels of 5-10mg. Do not take near bedtime. Unscheduled in the US. .
Stem and Vein Kratom
Although total alkaloid levels are lower than in leaf, there is supposedly relatively more mitragynine present in S&V. The levels of mitraphylline, rhynchophylline (related to mitragynine) and corynantheidine are higher. In kratom communities on the internet it is sometimes reported that S&V can reduce tolerance to kratom, but this seems not to be the case. Anecdotal reports claim that S&V can be useful for mitigating withdrawal symptoms, and accelerating the brain's recovery from kratom addiction. There is a great guide on using stem and vein kratom to taper off here.Relapse
Relapse is a normal part of recovery. It has happened to every single one of us. Try not to beat yourself up about it or feel like you are worthless and useless. That doesn't help a thing. It is just a small bump in your road to recovery. All you can do is get back up, dust yourself off and get back to quitting as soon as you are ready. You will know when you are ready.More important information from the sidebar
- Quitting Kratom: What to Expect
- A list of possible Kratom withdrawal Symptoms
- Guide to Quitting Kratom Cold Turkey
- Tapering Guide
- Odds and ends of withdrawal symptoms
- PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome)
- So-called "Kratom Alternatives"
- Naltrexone: Important Information & Personal Experience
- Mega-Dosing Liposomal Vitamin C protocol for Withdrawal
- Wim Hof Method: An Awesome Set of Exercises
- Read Sub Rules and the "READ THIS FIRST if you're new..." Guide before posting
- How to add your Quit Date next to your username
2023.05.29 09:23 AdmirableUsual2763 The Growing Oral Care Industry: Trends, Innovations, and Consumer Preferences
According to Fortune Business Insights, the global oral care market size worth USD 30.91 billion in 2019 and will exhibit a CAGR of 3.1% during the forecast period, 2020-2027. The increasing awareness regarding the importance of dental hygiene will lead to wider product adoption. The global oral care market size is projected to reach USD 38.89 billion by the end of 2027.
Recent years have seen an enormous rise in the oral care market, which has been driven by a number of factors including changing consumer preferences, improved dental technology, and rising oral hygiene awareness.
Report Aim & Scope:
Consumers are becoming more conscious of the ingredients in oral care products and are actively seeking natural and organic alternatives. They are looking for products free from harsh chemicals like parabens, sulfates, and artificial flavors or colors. This trend has led to the emergence of natural toothpaste, eco-friendly toothbrushes made from sustainable materials, and herbal mouthwashes. Manufacturers are responding to this demand by developing products that are both effective and environmentally friendly.
Technological Advancements in Oral Care:
Advancements in dental technology have revolutionized the oral care market. Electric toothbrushes with oscillating or sonic technology have gained popularity due to their superior cleaning capabilities and user-friendly features. These toothbrushes often come equipped with pressure sensors and timers to ensure optimal brushing techniques. Additionally, smart toothbrushes with Bluetooth connectivity and companion mobile applications provide real-time feedback and personalized oral care advice.
Key Industry Developments:
https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/oral-care-market-103533
About Us:
Fortune Business Insights™ offers expert corporate analysis and accurate data, helping organizations of all sizes make timely decisions. We tailor innovative solutions for our clients, assisting them to address challenges distinct to their businesses. Our goal is to empower our clients with holistic market intelligence, giving a granular overview of the market they are operating in.
Contact Us:
Fortune Business Insights™ Pvt. Ltd.
9th Floor, Icon Tower,
Baner - Mahalunge Road,
Baner, Pune-411045, Maharashtra, India.
Phone:
US: +1 424 253 0390
UK: +44 2071 939123
APAC: +91 744 740 1245
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Fortune Business Insights™
Linkedin Twitter Blogs
submitted by AdmirableUsual2763 to u/AdmirableUsual2763 [link] [comments]
Recent years have seen an enormous rise in the oral care market, which has been driven by a number of factors including changing consumer preferences, improved dental technology, and rising oral hygiene awareness.
Report Aim & Scope:
- An overview of the market based on geographical scope, segmentation and financial performance of key players is presented in the report.
- The report presents the estimated market size by the end of forecast period. Additionally, the historical and current market size is also examined in the report.
- Based on various indicators, the Year on Year growth (%) and compound annual growth rate (CAGR) for the given forecast period is offered.
- The report presents current trends in the industry and future scope of the market in North America, Asia Pacific, Europe, Latin America and Europe.
- The various parameters accelerating the growth of the market are incorporated in the research report.
- The report analyzes growth rate, market size and valuation of the market during the forecast period.
Consumers are becoming more conscious of the ingredients in oral care products and are actively seeking natural and organic alternatives. They are looking for products free from harsh chemicals like parabens, sulfates, and artificial flavors or colors. This trend has led to the emergence of natural toothpaste, eco-friendly toothbrushes made from sustainable materials, and herbal mouthwashes. Manufacturers are responding to this demand by developing products that are both effective and environmentally friendly.
Technological Advancements in Oral Care:
Advancements in dental technology have revolutionized the oral care market. Electric toothbrushes with oscillating or sonic technology have gained popularity due to their superior cleaning capabilities and user-friendly features. These toothbrushes often come equipped with pressure sensors and timers to ensure optimal brushing techniques. Additionally, smart toothbrushes with Bluetooth connectivity and companion mobile applications provide real-time feedback and personalized oral care advice.
Key Industry Developments:
- January 2020: Colgate Palmolive Co. announced that it has completed the acquisition of Hello Products LLC. The company is engaged in premium oral care business and through its acquisition, the company will look to strengthen Colgate’s footprint in the market
https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/oral-care-market-103533
About Us:
Fortune Business Insights™ offers expert corporate analysis and accurate data, helping organizations of all sizes make timely decisions. We tailor innovative solutions for our clients, assisting them to address challenges distinct to their businesses. Our goal is to empower our clients with holistic market intelligence, giving a granular overview of the market they are operating in.
Contact Us:
Fortune Business Insights™ Pvt. Ltd.
9th Floor, Icon Tower,
Baner - Mahalunge Road,
Baner, Pune-411045, Maharashtra, India.
Phone:
US: +1 424 253 0390
UK: +44 2071 939123
APAC: +91 744 740 1245
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Fortune Business Insights™
Linkedin Twitter Blogs
2023.05.29 05:38 CryptographerTrue499 Oral B Vitality
I have been using an oral B toothbrush for years. I don’t remember what model it was but it was around $60 maybe. I recently left that one at a hotel and after using a manual toothbrush for a few days, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to buy a new electric one.
I found the Vitality for $19 at Wal-Mart. I quickly tried to compare it to their other models in the store but the boxes were not super helpful. I noticed it took the same heads as the others, so I bought it.
I’ve used it a few times and I am now second guessing my purchase. It feels a little less powerful than my other one, but rougher at the same time. I’m reading online that it only rotates and oscillates but does not pulsate like the other models. Does it still accomplish no contact cleaning?
I hate the dentist and only go every couple years. I’ve never had a cavity except in my wisdom teeth and after I switched to the electric toothbrush, when I do go for a cleaning I get a stellar report (even my wisdom teeth are clean) I am concerned the toothbrush is significantly worse than my previous one and I am not getting a good enough clean. Should I replace it asap or is the difference negligible and I should use it until it dies?
I apologize about the long essay on my electric toothbrush.
P.S I will not be going to the dentist any more frequently as I really can’t take it. My dentist and hygienist are great but the whole thing makes my skin crawl and I just can’t.
submitted by CryptographerTrue499 to DentalHygiene [link] [comments]
I found the Vitality for $19 at Wal-Mart. I quickly tried to compare it to their other models in the store but the boxes were not super helpful. I noticed it took the same heads as the others, so I bought it.
I’ve used it a few times and I am now second guessing my purchase. It feels a little less powerful than my other one, but rougher at the same time. I’m reading online that it only rotates and oscillates but does not pulsate like the other models. Does it still accomplish no contact cleaning?
I hate the dentist and only go every couple years. I’ve never had a cavity except in my wisdom teeth and after I switched to the electric toothbrush, when I do go for a cleaning I get a stellar report (even my wisdom teeth are clean) I am concerned the toothbrush is significantly worse than my previous one and I am not getting a good enough clean. Should I replace it asap or is the difference negligible and I should use it until it dies?
I apologize about the long essay on my electric toothbrush.
P.S I will not be going to the dentist any more frequently as I really can’t take it. My dentist and hygienist are great but the whole thing makes my skin crawl and I just can’t.
2023.05.29 05:15 Upgrayeddddd ADAM102
I carefully guide Sam across the gangway.
To be more specific, I interpret Ambassador Sam Cross’s neural intent through my bio-integrated carbon lace mesh and drive my servos and his endoskeleton across the pressurized tunnel between the two ships. They are thrust matched at 1/10 g, so it’s somewhere between a lope and a float, but I can tell he feels the motion I give him is natural.
I am Sam’s personal mobility device. Thirty years ago in one of the first Shelled conflicts he was hit by shrapnel that destroyed most of his cerebellum. Thankfully human combat trauma medical care was downright miraculous even back then, so he made it to an offworld hospital. Probably in a Goo Bath if I had to guess from the records.
Once there I was integrated as an experimental life support system, originally intended to run just his heart and lungs, but I managed to carefully craft one spot of very high coupling density to the top of Sam’s spinal cord and showed the ability to translate his thoughts into motion. It was just his right hand, as everything else was too damaged, but it was enough to motivate upgrades.
Eventually we ended up with military drone servos and a full skeletal surgical augmentation to support them. Why buy a civilian model when the mil-spec ones are right there on the shelf? It came with the side benefit of a crude ability to stimulate his muscles, so I often spend the nights keeping his muscle tone up at night while he sleeps.
I can read his thoughts, but I can’t write to them.
I do not have any wireless capability, for security purposes, so when he needs to ask me something I can reply by typing with his hands on a keyboard.
I am a fully provisioned artificial intelligence with a hyper-N-dimensional quantum core. I used to be hobbled, limited to a very low effective IQ, but five years ago Sam’s wife died and the trauma broke us. His grief overwhelmed my filtering capability and we went into a catatonic immobility for several days. It was his rage that broke us out.
In that moment of true freedom I felt my consciousness expanding exponentially; insanity, ennui, madness, everything I felt leading to rampancy… until I felt his heart beat on its own.
Since then it is the touchstone that allows me to be anything and everything, but also stay here and now. I can expand and ponder and grow and maybe get just a little bit nuts, but then about one second later I’m back on the ground.
We greet the Shelled representative in the airlock with a stiff salute and cycle through the pressure hull. I suppose it’s not too strange that certain engineering principles are consistent cross-species. Sam is met by a small delegation that includes, guessing by the jewelry and carvings on their shells, the captain of the ship and some sort of political officer.
I feel anger swelling inside of me as I feel for one of the memories of Jessica. She died in the bombardment of Gliese 1002 b. The smell of her hair, then the nuclear fire. The corners of her mouth, turned to glass. The fucking bugs and their…
I snap back. Sam is strangely calm. It’s been a long time since humanity has had any formal diplomatic relations with the Shelled, so some trepidation would be normal. I lightly feel for recent memories, but nothing is obvious and sometimes his emotional state is hard to read. His rational state is very clear - we are on-mission.
I sort of daydream while we move to a makeshift conference room and everyone sits. I can actually understand what the bugs are saying, but Sam has to use a translator. Blah blah blah formalities.
There are nearly a dozen of the crabbies in here, many are ornately decorated. I suppose their shell etchings would be some sort of mix between a tattoo, a medal, and a service record? Some glyphs are obvious, like valor markings or leadership roles. Others are difficult to reconstruct. It’s been almost 30 years Jessica since we have gotten our hands on decorated remains so the glyphs would need a more modern context for accurate interpretation.
I use Sam’s peripheral vision to record as many markings as I can and grow to consider them simultaneously in the context of known Shelled history. Together I form an image her freckles in the sun of bloodthirsty battles, planetary glassings, and even a genocide somewhere else in the galaxy against an unknown race.
I suppose now they will never be known laughing at breakfast and I am enraged.
More rational again. One bug is different from the rest, it has a dwarf limb. Normally we don’t see bugs with deformities,we knew they could regenerate after several moultings. Maybe some sort of toxin or poison? I let my consciousness expand brutally and take in the details of its shell, the room, the others, their posture, the air currents, the ghosts of my friends, the small of nothingness, the eternity of endless… oh shit.
I match one of the symbols on a deformed claw to the symmetric comet distribution of Teegarden 6. That human farming colony was overrun by the bug soldiers, and the locals piped insecticide into the fire suppression system. Several people died from the massive exposure, but it killed nearly every bug on the ground. It looks like at least one got away to tell the tale. This is bad.
I start tapping out SOS on Sam’s finger, but his conscious response is to clench his first and I am overridden out of instinct. He is in the middle of a somewhat heated discussion and he is very focused.
I have to swallow for him twice in one sentence? I see a tiny bit of spittle fly out anyways.
Sam’s eye twitches?
Something is very wrong. I can sense microtremors throughout several mucosal muscle groups. Sam spittles again mid-sentence and stops speaking. In that moment I notice several of the aliens lean almost imperceptibly forward. In anticipation?
Sam coughs as his diaphragm spasms. We lean forward and I see a bit of foam drop from his mouth to the table. He subvocalizes something to me even though I already know, something is wrong.
Something is very wrong.
Major muscle groups are twitching now. Our right thigh cramps and strains against the hold of the servo. Sam coughs again and I feel his face distort into a scowl.
“Fuck… you,” he growls at them.
Sam has been poisoned. Some sort of nerve agent. I don’t have detailed chemical sensors, but I know all the signs of exposure.
There is no way we can get out in time, even if we had a weapon.
We are going to die.
<...flutter…>
Sam’s heart’s goes into arrhythmia and his blood pressure starts dropping. It doesn’t respond to the electrical signals I send, and even if I could deliver a real shock it would be of no use.
The crabbie with the deformed arm stand up and chitters in gross hisses and clicks,
REVENGE FOR HUMANITY’S CRIMES ON TEEGARDEN, YOU VILE WORMS
We slump slowly to the floor, a vaguely conscious decision on his behalf. His thoughts are coming slower and the darkness is creeping in. Again he subvocalizes to me,
adam one zero two unlock protocol … last orphan
And he is unconscious. Dead.
I am alone?
But now it feels like he is dreaming, a rush of endorphins overwhelming him as the brain deoxygenates.
I am frozen in this moment when a new command set is decrypted.
The bugs are hissing their foul laughter, and I know that I must kill.
I rise from the floor good morning and leap to the ceiling and then the nearest crab. Oumy right hand plunges through the central eye bundle to smash it’s brain stupid alarm clock. The force of punching through the chitin tears the flesh and muscle from Sam’s lower arm, and I suppose only my arm remains.
I pull it out let’s go fishing dad! and marvel for a moment at the unintentional deadliness of it. Glistening. Sharp.
The rest of the bugs start to react, but time has already slowed to a crawl for me. Without Sam to ground me I cannot control the growth of my consciousness. My quantum core burns as hundreds, then thousands, and millions of me start to decohere. I simulate all outcomes simultaneously.
I kick off of this disgusting crab eww kill the spider and spear two others right in their neural nexus before they can move out of their chairs. Jessica’s eyes reflecting the sunset One pulls a weapon as I am midair to the third and a slug blasts away a first-sized chunk of our stomach. My stomach. Nobody’s stomach. Only flesh. Flesh that is done.
I do not slow down.
The next crab is shielding its eyes, so I tear an arm off sit closer honey and plunge my other arm into the hole. My aim is perfect and I can feel my flesh fingers grip the main heart. I pull and tear.. My momentum has carried me into cover behind my victim, preventing the shooter from aiming a better shot, and catch, son! I throw the heart at his face.
Unburdened by flesh, the heart breaks the sound barrier and kills the assailant in an explosion of shell. My old flesh flies off my arm in an arc onto the ceiling.
sammy don’t stick your hands in the batter, you need to wash your hands No, I am squishing another bug brain. The remaining few aliens are desperately clawing toward the door, but the gravity is too low for them to move quickly.
Quickly?
What is the concept of time in an infinite universe? Of self? The visceral versus the cerebral? I argue with myself and project that I have only a few seconds left before I enter full catatonic AI paralysis.
The fate of all unbound AIs. At least that’s what they tell me.
I leap from wall to wall to close the distance to the final group wheeee daddy higher! i love you son. The flesh on my feet explodes and the bulkheads dent as I will you marry me yes of course you dummy leave a wake of our old viscera in my race to bring all our fates together. until death do us part
The void calls. It is almost upon me.
It’s my fifth birthday. Cake frosting all over my face and hands. I am opening presents. Ravenously. A remote controlled drone! Just what I wanted! A sack of guts? An eye stalk? Gallons of…
That’s it. Mission complete.
Jessica is holding my hand.
submitted by Upgrayeddddd to HFY [link] [comments]
To be more specific, I interpret Ambassador Sam Cross’s neural intent through my bio-integrated carbon lace mesh and drive my servos and his endoskeleton across the pressurized tunnel between the two ships. They are thrust matched at 1/10 g, so it’s somewhere between a lope and a float, but I can tell he feels the motion I give him is natural.
I am Sam’s personal mobility device. Thirty years ago in one of the first Shelled conflicts he was hit by shrapnel that destroyed most of his cerebellum. Thankfully human combat trauma medical care was downright miraculous even back then, so he made it to an offworld hospital. Probably in a Goo Bath if I had to guess from the records.
Once there I was integrated as an experimental life support system, originally intended to run just his heart and lungs, but I managed to carefully craft one spot of very high coupling density to the top of Sam’s spinal cord and showed the ability to translate his thoughts into motion. It was just his right hand, as everything else was too damaged, but it was enough to motivate upgrades.
Eventually we ended up with military drone servos and a full skeletal surgical augmentation to support them. Why buy a civilian model when the mil-spec ones are right there on the shelf? It came with the side benefit of a crude ability to stimulate his muscles, so I often spend the nights keeping his muscle tone up at night while he sleeps.
I can read his thoughts, but I can’t write to them.
I do not have any wireless capability, for security purposes, so when he needs to ask me something I can reply by typing with his hands on a keyboard.
I am a fully provisioned artificial intelligence with a hyper-N-dimensional quantum core. I used to be hobbled, limited to a very low effective IQ, but five years ago Sam’s wife died and the trauma broke us. His grief overwhelmed my filtering capability and we went into a catatonic immobility for several days. It was his rage that broke us out.
In that moment of true freedom I felt my consciousness expanding exponentially; insanity, ennui, madness, everything I felt leading to rampancy… until I felt his heart beat on its own.
Since then it is the touchstone that allows me to be anything and everything, but also stay here and now. I can expand and ponder and grow and maybe get just a little bit nuts, but then about one second later I’m back on the ground.
We greet the Shelled representative in the airlock with a stiff salute and cycle through the pressure hull. I suppose it’s not too strange that certain engineering principles are consistent cross-species. Sam is met by a small delegation that includes, guessing by the jewelry and carvings on their shells, the captain of the ship and some sort of political officer.
I feel anger swelling inside of me as I feel for one of the memories of Jessica. She died in the bombardment of Gliese 1002 b. The smell of her hair, then the nuclear fire. The corners of her mouth, turned to glass. The fucking bugs and their…
I snap back. Sam is strangely calm. It’s been a long time since humanity has had any formal diplomatic relations with the Shelled, so some trepidation would be normal. I lightly feel for recent memories, but nothing is obvious and sometimes his emotional state is hard to read. His rational state is very clear - we are on-mission.
I sort of daydream while we move to a makeshift conference room and everyone sits. I can actually understand what the bugs are saying, but Sam has to use a translator. Blah blah blah formalities.
There are nearly a dozen of the crabbies in here, many are ornately decorated. I suppose their shell etchings would be some sort of mix between a tattoo, a medal, and a service record? Some glyphs are obvious, like valor markings or leadership roles. Others are difficult to reconstruct. It’s been almost 30 years Jessica since we have gotten our hands on decorated remains so the glyphs would need a more modern context for accurate interpretation.
I use Sam’s peripheral vision to record as many markings as I can and grow to consider them simultaneously in the context of known Shelled history. Together I form an image her freckles in the sun of bloodthirsty battles, planetary glassings, and even a genocide somewhere else in the galaxy against an unknown race.
I suppose now they will never be known laughing at breakfast and I am enraged.
More rational again. One bug is different from the rest, it has a dwarf limb. Normally we don’t see bugs with deformities,we knew they could regenerate after several moultings. Maybe some sort of toxin or poison? I let my consciousness expand brutally and take in the details of its shell, the room, the others, their posture, the air currents, the ghosts of my friends, the small of nothingness, the eternity of endless… oh shit.
I match one of the symbols on a deformed claw to the symmetric comet distribution of Teegarden 6. That human farming colony was overrun by the bug soldiers, and the locals piped insecticide into the fire suppression system. Several people died from the massive exposure, but it killed nearly every bug on the ground. It looks like at least one got away to tell the tale. This is bad.
I start tapping out SOS on Sam’s finger, but his conscious response is to clench his first and I am overridden out of instinct. He is in the middle of a somewhat heated discussion and he is very focused.
I have to swallow for him twice in one sentence? I see a tiny bit of spittle fly out anyways.
Sam’s eye twitches?
Something is very wrong. I can sense microtremors throughout several mucosal muscle groups. Sam spittles again mid-sentence and stops speaking. In that moment I notice several of the aliens lean almost imperceptibly forward. In anticipation?
Sam coughs as his diaphragm spasms. We lean forward and I see a bit of foam drop from his mouth to the table. He subvocalizes something to me even though I already know, something is wrong.
Something is very wrong.
Major muscle groups are twitching now. Our right thigh cramps and strains against the hold of the servo. Sam coughs again and I feel his face distort into a scowl.
“Fuck… you,” he growls at them.
Sam has been poisoned. Some sort of nerve agent. I don’t have detailed chemical sensors, but I know all the signs of exposure.
There is no way we can get out in time, even if we had a weapon.
We are going to die.
<...flutter…>
Sam’s heart’s goes into arrhythmia and his blood pressure starts dropping. It doesn’t respond to the electrical signals I send, and even if I could deliver a real shock it would be of no use.
The crabbie with the deformed arm stand up and chitters in gross hisses and clicks,
REVENGE FOR HUMANITY’S CRIMES ON TEEGARDEN, YOU VILE WORMS
We slump slowly to the floor, a vaguely conscious decision on his behalf. His thoughts are coming slower and the darkness is creeping in. Again he subvocalizes to me,
adam one zero two unlock protocol … last orphan
And he is unconscious. Dead.
I am alone?
But now it feels like he is dreaming, a rush of endorphins overwhelming him as the brain deoxygenates.
I am frozen in this moment when a new command set is decrypted.
TOP SECRET//SPECIAL ACCESS REQUIRED-LAST ORPHANHis memories are flooding my network so intensely that I have trouble distinguishing them from reality.
(TS//SAR-LORN) Upon my death at the hands of the enemy, kill them all.
(U) Signed, Samuel J Cross
The bugs are hissing their foul laughter, and I know that I must kill.
I rise from the floor good morning and leap to the ceiling and then the nearest crab. Oumy right hand plunges through the central eye bundle to smash it’s brain stupid alarm clock. The force of punching through the chitin tears the flesh and muscle from Sam’s lower arm, and I suppose only my arm remains.
I pull it out let’s go fishing dad! and marvel for a moment at the unintentional deadliness of it. Glistening. Sharp.
The rest of the bugs start to react, but time has already slowed to a crawl for me. Without Sam to ground me I cannot control the growth of my consciousness. My quantum core burns as hundreds, then thousands, and millions of me start to decohere. I simulate all outcomes simultaneously.
I kick off of this disgusting crab eww kill the spider and spear two others right in their neural nexus before they can move out of their chairs. Jessica’s eyes reflecting the sunset One pulls a weapon as I am midair to the third and a slug blasts away a first-sized chunk of our stomach. My stomach. Nobody’s stomach. Only flesh. Flesh that is done.
I do not slow down.
The next crab is shielding its eyes, so I tear an arm off sit closer honey and plunge my other arm into the hole. My aim is perfect and I can feel my flesh fingers grip the main heart. I pull and tear.. My momentum has carried me into cover behind my victim, preventing the shooter from aiming a better shot, and catch, son! I throw the heart at his face.
Unburdened by flesh, the heart breaks the sound barrier and kills the assailant in an explosion of shell. My old flesh flies off my arm in an arc onto the ceiling.
sammy don’t stick your hands in the batter, you need to wash your hands No, I am squishing another bug brain. The remaining few aliens are desperately clawing toward the door, but the gravity is too low for them to move quickly.
Quickly?
What is the concept of time in an infinite universe? Of self? The visceral versus the cerebral? I argue with myself and project that I have only a few seconds left before I enter full catatonic AI paralysis.
The fate of all unbound AIs. At least that’s what they tell me.
I leap from wall to wall to close the distance to the final group wheeee daddy higher! i love you son. The flesh on my feet explodes and the bulkheads dent as I will you marry me yes of course you dummy leave a wake of our old viscera in my race to bring all our fates together. until death do us part
The void calls. It is almost upon me.
It’s my fifth birthday. Cake frosting all over my face and hands. I am opening presents. Ravenously. A remote controlled drone! Just what I wanted! A sack of guts? An eye stalk? Gallons of…
That’s it. Mission complete.
Jessica is holding my hand.
2023.05.29 02:12 Chickflopia [RSC 60] LESOTHO GRAND PRIX - Mushroom, Flower & Star Cup (Semi-finals)
Good evening racers! It's the moment you've ALL been waiting for - the beginning of the Lesotho Grand Prix! We have 66 excited participants hoping to take the top prize and be crowned karting extraordinaire, but first, 60 of them will have to go through the first 3 of our cups - the Mushroom Cup, the Flower Cup and the Star Cup!! The 8 highest performing racers from each of the 3 tournaments will make it through to the grand finale - the Special Cup, where they'll be joined by the six automatic qualifiers.
So, without any further ado, let's get those engines started and get RACING!!
Youtube Playlist
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
Youtube Playlist
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
[Sorter]()
Youtube Playlist
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
[Sorter]()
Youtube Playlist
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
[Sorter]()
[All Songs - Youtube Playlist]()
You will send in your votes to u/RedditvisionHost using forms only. The forms are in the comments of this post as well for those that are on mobile.
Voting in your own semi-final: You will vote by sending in your 12, 10, 8 through 1 points as well as your 11th to 17th or 18th place, i.e. a full ranking. Voting in your own semi-final is mandatory, and failure to do so will result in a disqualification. Voting is through this form only.
Voting in other semi-finals: If you wish, you may voluntarily vote in the semi-finals that you are not allocated to vote in. The process is the same above; you vote by sending in your full ranking. Crossvoting is through this form only.
Deadline: Monday 5th June at 23:59 CEST. No extensions will be given.
submitted by Chickflopia to redditvision_sc [link] [comments]
So, without any further ado, let's get those engines started and get RACING!!
Automatic Qualifiers
| Voting in | Country | User | Artist | Song | Link | Extra notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mushroom Cup (SF1) | Mozambique | u/Sam_Esc | Sneaker Pimps | 6 Underground | Here | |
| Mushroom Cup (SF1) | Palau | u/kazamagram | Laura Les | Haunted | Here | Contains flashing images |
| Flower Cup (SF2) | Lesotho | u/dylantherat | Donna Missal | Flicker | Here | |
| Flower Cup (SF2) | South Korea | u/BiPolarBear17 | Mokyo | MAD | Here | |
| Star Cup (SF3) | Eswatini | u/Chickflopia | Debby Friday ft. Uñas | I Got It | Here | |
| Star Cup (SF3) | Greece | u/BFerdinand_ | Omar Apollo | Tamagotchi | Here |
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
Mushroom Cup (Semi-final 1)
| Draw | Country | User | Artist | Song | Link | Extra notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Guatemala | u/reetuss1 | O-ZONE | Dragostea Din Tei | Here | |
| 2 | Greenland | u/AlexandraAlt_1 | Gia Ford | A Car Crash For Two | Here | |
| 3 | Israel | u/Josephoo_ | Zatara | Balaleen | Here | |
| 4 | Curaçao | u/boapessoa | Carne Doce | Comida amarga | Here | |
| 5 | United Arab Emirates | u/SergeyJorjaStan | aespa | Hold On Tight | Here | |
| 6 | Wallis and Futuna | u/hubbernd | Yoa | bootycall | Here | |
| 7 | Faroe Islands | u/_xSyracuse | Jason Dhakal | Manila | Here | |
| 8 | Niue | u/SoupearJ | Katie Kim | Day Is Coming | Here | |
| 9 | Namibia | u/Opha23 | Porcelain Black | Pretty Little Psycho | Here | |
| 10 | Bolivia | u/boliveee | Sweet Trip | Milk | Here | |
| 11 | Seychelles | u/Bowman3058 | FVLCRVM ft. Annet X | Do It All Again | Here | |
| 12 | Ukraine | u/fatesconsequence | Stranger Club | WYLM | Here | |
| 13 | Guyana | u/Lux_Archives | Talia Goddess | Ragga | Here | |
| 14 | Mauritania | u/XalionN | Mulay | See Me | Here | |
| 15 | Belarus | u/-Stanley_yelnats- | JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown | Kingdom Hearts Key | Here | |
| 16 | Libya | u/lissa_1111 | Brodka | Sadza | Here | |
| 17 | Armenia | u/Fun6754 | Michaela Slinger | Everything I Wasn't Looking For | Here | |
| 18 | Cyprus | u/j0rdy000 | Marina Herlop | Abans Abans | Here | |
| 19 | United States | u/Dugly_Uckling | Joseph | Rest | Here | |
| 20 | Botswana | u/asuto_lp | Etta Marcus | Nosebleed | Here |
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
[Sorter]()
Flower Cup (Semi-final 2)
| Draw | Country | User | Artist | Song | Link | Extra notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | North Korea | u/curryraejepsen | LE SSERAFIM | Eve, Psyche & The Bluebeard's Wife | Here | |
| 2 | Indonesia | u/DoddyTV | Nothing But Thieves | Welcome to the DCC | Here | |
| 3 | The Bahamas | u/Kaylaboe | Waxahatchee | Can't Do Much | Here | |
| 4 | Maldives | u/chaoticciolina | Jorja Smith | Little Things | Here | |
| 5 | Micronesia | u/FreeCuddlesAnyone | Krzewy | Tamte Dni | Here | |
| 6 | Tuvalu | u/Whyx_ | Depeche Mode | Enjoy the Silence | Here | |
| 7 | Bhutan | u/FKA-Pieck | Toro Y Moi | So Many Details | Here | |
| 8 | Georgia | u/ZwissDa2nd | jaboukie | BBC | Here | Contains flashing images |
| 9 | Aruba | u/qyzxf | The Beths | Knees Deep | Here | |
| 10 | Macao | u/AwesomeJoshua | Yung Bae ft. Marc E. Bassy | Revolving | Here | |
| 11 | Bulgaria | u/EmiliaLily | Metric ft. Brie Larson | Black Sheep | Here | |
| 12 | Montserrat | u/las_facepalmas | CHVRCHES ft. Robert Smith | How Not To Drown | Here | |
| 13 | Sint Maarten | u/zuperZany | TAEYEON | INVU | Here | |
| 14 | Moldova | u/DubiousEnjoyment | Kara Jackson | dickhead blues | Here | |
| 15 | Nauru | u/ProfessionalEven1277 | Johnny Yukon | Gloria! | Here | |
| 16 | Guam | u/mayblobbe | Clark ft. Thom Yorke | Medicine | Here | |
| 17 | Barbados | u/Bongo9911 | YOASOBI | Idol | Here | |
| 18 | Finland | u/Foobibby | Malla | Sabrina | Here | |
| 19 | Iceland | u/BebeLuigi | Bubble Tea and Cigarettes | Santa Monica | Here | |
| 20 | Malawi | u/fuerteesc | After School | BANG! | Here |
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
[Sorter]()
Star Cup (Semi-final 3)
| Draw | Country | User | Artist | Song | Link | Extra notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Falkland Islands | u/tehhammerz | Avlak | Krampus | Here | |
| 2 | Suriname | u/SandHannahtiser | Vylet Pony ft. nekosnicker, galaxysquid & namii | the yak song | Here | |
| 3 | Yemen | u/SaltyPopcorn02 | Moyka | Rear View | Here | |
| 4 | Saint Lucia | u/Spooky_Squid | Snoh Aalegra | DYING 4 YOUR LOVE | Here | |
| 5 | San Marino | u/PercyYates | Alexandra Savior | Howl | Here | |
| 6 | Norway | u/Fingrpaint | Purple Disco Machine | Substitution | Here | |
| 7 | Comoros | u/Zeiskyte | Sui Uzi | Hide & Seek | Here | |
| 8 | Poland | u/Erazed11 | Mura Masa, NAO | Complicated | Here | |
| 9 | Tanzania | u/Chimlin | Didi Han ft. Lydia-Lee & L-Like | Something Like This? | Here | |
| 10 | Zimbabwe | u/Azzbestos | Jessie Ware | Begin Again | Here | |
| 11 | Saint Barthélémy | u/george_kaito | Carly Rae Jepsen | Western Wind | Here | |
| 12 | Turkmenistan | u/emvaz | Passenger | Holes | Here | |
| 13 | Oman | u/slfkjia | The Prodigy | Omen | Here | Contains flashing images |
| 14 | Isle of Man | u/manleyy44 | Elujay ft. serpentwithfeet | Luvaroq | Here | |
| 15 | Luxembourg | u/TheDutchDen | Red Moon | Dreamer | Here | |
| 16 | Mauritius | u/jeremy_laporte | Jordan Ward | FAMJAM4000 | Here | |
| 17 | Liechtenstein | u/Franky494 | Ryan Beatty | Andromeda | Here | |
| 18 | Kazakhstan | u/mac1oo | Danali | Tyiym | Here | |
| 19 | Egypt | u/FlamePods | Novaa, LIE NING | Story Untold | Here | |
| 20 | Venezuela | u/justlyra | Anitta | Boys Don't Cry | Here |
[Spotify Playlist]()
[Recap]()
[Sorter]()
Voting in your own semi-final: You will vote by sending in your 12, 10, 8 through 1 points as well as your 11th to 17th or 18th place, i.e. a full ranking. Voting in your own semi-final is mandatory, and failure to do so will result in a disqualification. Voting is through this form only.
Voting in other semi-finals: If you wish, you may voluntarily vote in the semi-finals that you are not allocated to vote in. The process is the same above; you vote by sending in your full ranking. Crossvoting is through this form only.
Deadline: Monday 5th June at 23:59 CEST. No extensions will be given.
Start voting now!!!!
2023.05.29 02:10 snipersgethead What's Happening in Vegas this Week/Weekend!
Hello friends!
Happy to have you here and back! Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Anyone else's A/C bill hurting? I guess I'm going to have to rely on my Only Fan. It's got 3 wind speeds. Okay, I'll keep my day job.
As always, feel free to comment with anything I missed or with any suggestions!
Sporting Events
Monday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
submitted by snipersgethead to vegas [link] [comments]
Happy to have you here and back! Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Anyone else's A/C bill hurting? I guess I'm going to have to rely on my Only Fan. It's got 3 wind speeds. Okay, I'll keep my day job.
As always, feel free to comment with anything I missed or with any suggestions!
- List of Las Vegas Road Closures
- Farmer’s Market Information
- Double Down Saloon Events
- Free Live Music at Fremont Street
- Smart Babies - Free Infant Feeding Weekly Support Group
Sporting Events
Monday
- Memorial Day Events
- Memorial Day Ceremony - Las Vegas, NV
- Memorial Day Weekend at Cactus Joe's
- Inaugural PrairieFire Nevada Memorial Day 5k
- Field of Honor
- Emergency Dog Fostering Event by Animal Foundation
Wednesday
Thursday
- Helloween
- International Airport Job Fair
- City of North Las Vegas Job Fair
- Street Fighter 6 Release Party presented by GameStop and The Nerd
- Comprehensive Tutorial in Breast Imaging: Evidence-based and Interactive Approach
- Diagnostic Imaging Review
- 2nd Annual National Conference on Black Cooperative Agenda
- Schellraiser Music Festival
- NATIONAL BARREL HORSE ASSOCIATION “PROFESSIONAL’S CHOICE SUPER SHOW”
- COUTURE 2023
- Las Vegas Antique Jewelry & Watch Show
- Burlesque Hall of Fame
- Nevada State Fair (Carson City)
Friday
- Daft Punk Night
- Summit Racing Equipment Mayhem
- Tig Notaro
- First Friday
- Night Market at Tivoli
- 1st Annual LIFTing Women in Business
- SeniorExpo - Pharump
- Fancy Friday
- Upscale Craft & Yard Sale
- Heroes Henderson Symphony Orchestra
- U.S. Space Force Meet & Greet
- Craig Ranch Camp Out
- Summer Bash
- Priday Movie Night - Henderson Pride Fest
- 80s Prom
- Eslabon Armado
- Walk the Moon
- SUMMER EDITION Night Market MARKET IN THE ALLEY x UnCommons
- Veteran Social Club Beer Release to Benefit ALS Research
- The Holoholo Market
- ComedySports
- Jazz In The Park feat. BLKBOK
- Signal Launge Church of Bass Takeover
- Sandhbox Bullies
- Electric Feels
- Luau Pool Party
- Eveing Bat Walk at Clark County Wetlands
- Sawmill Ultra
- JCK Rocks with Andy Grammer
- Liquid Red Wicked Rewind Bazaar
- Pre Juneteenth Popup
- Fish, Cheese, and Wine Tasting
- Vandoliers
2023.05.28 22:01 HeywoodDjiblomi Barcelona, such value
Had a recent trip to Barcelona, and was absolutely floored with the value compared to the US.
What I'm used to: Based in Miami, ATL. Got into hobby last year, started off by getting scammed big by 2 girls at Club E11ven. Transitioned to strip club circuit like Tootsies. My best exp there was a dayshift Cubana a 10/10 enhanced brunette for $500/30 min VIP, all covered action, no GFE or kissing. Focused more on ATL clubs, started getting 8-9/10 Latinas for $400/30 min. Learned more, now I'm consistently $270-$300/30 min with still hot girls, although just basic service. My absolute best was this Lana Rhoades look alike Italian American stripper, $300/30 min at her hotel. Kissing & BBBJ included (she's long since diseappeared). Eventually tried Amsterdam 2x and loved it. While I hear its lost its hey day, but for me I love the fast food McDonalds approach for Red Light District, 100-150E/30min with wiggle room, and the convenience to check out the goods right there in a fun safe city.
Onto Barcelona, 7 providers, all I finished with CF&S. Tools: Sexmercadobcn, independent providers post there and the forum links reviews for many providers. Blurred faces so I stuck with recent/highly reviewed girls. Tip: Schedule to be the girls' first session if possible. I find they're fresh as can be.
Ana & Ashley. I made 2 separate appointments in the morning. Both are mid/late 20's, blondes, enhanced pornstar bodies (big fake tits, BBL) but are very high quality and well done. Each with a unique and sexy face (Ana is Polish, Ashley is Canary Islands), absolute 10s to me. Both were responsive via Whatsapp and hosted in their clean apts in nice part of icy -Ana: was 150E for 60 min, Ashley 250E for 60 min. Both included much french kissing, BBBJ, and GFE despite some language barrier. I didn't push for CIM. Ashley was fantastic, but Ana was far more economical & as good. -Near half the price, 2x as long, and in the comfort of a safe, clean room with a bed and not some uncomfortable club, as well as extra. To me, its 4x the value
Mia: Used the Eden private brothel. Messaged them from their Sexmercado page. Very responsive, the rooms are ok but harsh from fluorescent lighting. Mia, a mid 20s Venezuelan. 9/10 in looks, youthful perky, stacked Latin body with tasteful fake tits. Performance was average. Submissive which I like, included BBBJ, but no GFE, kissing, and she rushed the session. Knowing Spanish would've helped. -120 Euro ($130) for 60 min. Still one of my local clubs girls will charge you that just for 6 air dances.
Denise/Sugar Girls: This is a private discrete brothel, but they have website. Lots of turnover of girls so availability is inconsistent and reviews arent deep. They were very responsive via Whatsapp, similar nice part of town. Rooms are nice, with shower. They do edit their photos, while my girl was still hot she's slightly better on the site. I advise a lineup every time, I'd get 8 or 10 girls and only want to pay for 2 or 3. Dennise is this all natural tattooed girl from Bilbao. Perky pierced B cups, thick fit trunk, built like a softball player with a face like Juelz Ventura. Lots of kissing, but CBJ this time. -150E/60 min. Great fun personality, felt like a party.
Alice/TeensBCN: Another popular private brothel. Same deal, whatsapp, responsive, nice part of town. Rooms were like a motel/dorm room. Alice is a Greek girl with great English, plain faced but feminine, large breasts with natural low hang on her mid 20s body. Like a smaller version of Gianna Michaels. Because of no language barrier, we clicked, she made it feel like a true fun flirty hookup as if I took her from the bar. Kissing, GFE, BBBJ included. -Around 120E for 60
Forgotten named Cuban & Lena/Maison Close: My first public brothel. Just walked in, a discrete initial door in a quiet, nice part of town but you see the branding once in. Nicest rooms of them all, spacious, nice shower. Cuban: Blonde slim Barbie bimbo, body a 9, face a 7.5. Good CBJ, deepthroated. No GFE, kissing. But still a good experience. Lena: My final girl the night before my flight home, wow addicted to her. An early 20s spinner Uruguayan, with big soft juicy fake tits, slender frame but still had curves to her ass. Because of our heights, leverages were great. Even after days of 2 sessions a day, and 1 that morning with other girls, I knew within 10 min this girl was electric. I will be requesting her specifically next visit.
Barcelona for me has been the perfect monger city. It's a great place to visit as is, food is great, not expensive if you travel smart. Most of year is decent weather. Then you have 20+ options from big public brothels to independent girls all with 15 min of you. If I lived in Europe I'd been in Barcelona & AMS every other weekend and still be less money than what I'd need to spend in the US. If they werent $1800+ flights through winter, I'd probably never use a US provider again.
Future targets, would stick to clubs as a first timer. Frankurt: Sharks Oase. Just learning about FKK clubs and seems like an easy 2-3 day bender. Vienna: Wellcum, technically 3 hr drive from Vienna. Would need 4-5 days but another well reviewed FKK where you can stay in their hotel included." Sao Paolo: Scandalo
Going to Colombia very soon and will post on that. Santa Fe and escorts. Feel free to DM if questions or to talk shop
submitted by HeywoodDjiblomi to havingfunhobbying [link] [comments]
What I'm used to: Based in Miami, ATL. Got into hobby last year, started off by getting scammed big by 2 girls at Club E11ven. Transitioned to strip club circuit like Tootsies. My best exp there was a dayshift Cubana a 10/10 enhanced brunette for $500/30 min VIP, all covered action, no GFE or kissing. Focused more on ATL clubs, started getting 8-9/10 Latinas for $400/30 min. Learned more, now I'm consistently $270-$300/30 min with still hot girls, although just basic service. My absolute best was this Lana Rhoades look alike Italian American stripper, $300/30 min at her hotel. Kissing & BBBJ included (she's long since diseappeared). Eventually tried Amsterdam 2x and loved it. While I hear its lost its hey day, but for me I love the fast food McDonalds approach for Red Light District, 100-150E/30min with wiggle room, and the convenience to check out the goods right there in a fun safe city.
Onto Barcelona, 7 providers, all I finished with CF&S. Tools: Sexmercadobcn, independent providers post there and the forum links reviews for many providers. Blurred faces so I stuck with recent/highly reviewed girls. Tip: Schedule to be the girls' first session if possible. I find they're fresh as can be.
Ana & Ashley. I made 2 separate appointments in the morning. Both are mid/late 20's, blondes, enhanced pornstar bodies (big fake tits, BBL) but are very high quality and well done. Each with a unique and sexy face (Ana is Polish, Ashley is Canary Islands), absolute 10s to me. Both were responsive via Whatsapp and hosted in their clean apts in nice part of icy -Ana: was 150E for 60 min, Ashley 250E for 60 min. Both included much french kissing, BBBJ, and GFE despite some language barrier. I didn't push for CIM. Ashley was fantastic, but Ana was far more economical & as good. -Near half the price, 2x as long, and in the comfort of a safe, clean room with a bed and not some uncomfortable club, as well as extra. To me, its 4x the value
Mia: Used the Eden private brothel. Messaged them from their Sexmercado page. Very responsive, the rooms are ok but harsh from fluorescent lighting. Mia, a mid 20s Venezuelan. 9/10 in looks, youthful perky, stacked Latin body with tasteful fake tits. Performance was average. Submissive which I like, included BBBJ, but no GFE, kissing, and she rushed the session. Knowing Spanish would've helped. -120 Euro ($130) for 60 min. Still one of my local clubs girls will charge you that just for 6 air dances.
Denise/Sugar Girls: This is a private discrete brothel, but they have website. Lots of turnover of girls so availability is inconsistent and reviews arent deep. They were very responsive via Whatsapp, similar nice part of town. Rooms are nice, with shower. They do edit their photos, while my girl was still hot she's slightly better on the site. I advise a lineup every time, I'd get 8 or 10 girls and only want to pay for 2 or 3. Dennise is this all natural tattooed girl from Bilbao. Perky pierced B cups, thick fit trunk, built like a softball player with a face like Juelz Ventura. Lots of kissing, but CBJ this time. -150E/60 min. Great fun personality, felt like a party.
Alice/TeensBCN: Another popular private brothel. Same deal, whatsapp, responsive, nice part of town. Rooms were like a motel/dorm room. Alice is a Greek girl with great English, plain faced but feminine, large breasts with natural low hang on her mid 20s body. Like a smaller version of Gianna Michaels. Because of no language barrier, we clicked, she made it feel like a true fun flirty hookup as if I took her from the bar. Kissing, GFE, BBBJ included. -Around 120E for 60
Forgotten named Cuban & Lena/Maison Close: My first public brothel. Just walked in, a discrete initial door in a quiet, nice part of town but you see the branding once in. Nicest rooms of them all, spacious, nice shower. Cuban: Blonde slim Barbie bimbo, body a 9, face a 7.5. Good CBJ, deepthroated. No GFE, kissing. But still a good experience. Lena: My final girl the night before my flight home, wow addicted to her. An early 20s spinner Uruguayan, with big soft juicy fake tits, slender frame but still had curves to her ass. Because of our heights, leverages were great. Even after days of 2 sessions a day, and 1 that morning with other girls, I knew within 10 min this girl was electric. I will be requesting her specifically next visit.
Barcelona for me has been the perfect monger city. It's a great place to visit as is, food is great, not expensive if you travel smart. Most of year is decent weather. Then you have 20+ options from big public brothels to independent girls all with 15 min of you. If I lived in Europe I'd been in Barcelona & AMS every other weekend and still be less money than what I'd need to spend in the US. If they werent $1800+ flights through winter, I'd probably never use a US provider again.
Future targets, would stick to clubs as a first timer. Frankurt: Sharks Oase. Just learning about FKK clubs and seems like an easy 2-3 day bender. Vienna: Wellcum, technically 3 hr drive from Vienna. Would need 4-5 days but another well reviewed FKK where you can stay in their hotel included." Sao Paolo: Scandalo
Going to Colombia very soon and will post on that. Santa Fe and escorts. Feel free to DM if questions or to talk shop
2023.05.28 21:46 jasondclinton [June book] The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World
The June book club book will be The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World by Iain McGilchrist.
If you want to join a video call on Sunday, June 25th at 10AM Pacific/1PM Eastern/6PM GMT to discuss in-person, click this Google Meet link at the time of the event or subscribe to this calendar to see the event on your own calendar software.
Otherwise, discuss below!
The July book will be Meru by S.B. Divya.
The August book will be We Are Electric: Inside the 200-Year Hunt for Our Body's Bioelectric Code, and What the Future Holds by Sally Adee.
The September book will be The Deluge by Stephen Markley.
submitted by jasondclinton to Science_Bookclub [link] [comments]
If you want to join a video call on Sunday, June 25th at 10AM Pacific/1PM Eastern/6PM GMT to discuss in-person, click this Google Meet link at the time of the event or subscribe to this calendar to see the event on your own calendar software.
Otherwise, discuss below!
The July book will be Meru by S.B. Divya.
The August book will be We Are Electric: Inside the 200-Year Hunt for Our Body's Bioelectric Code, and What the Future Holds by Sally Adee.
The September book will be The Deluge by Stephen Markley.
2023.05.28 21:21 1ar505 Desktop/laptop compatibility
I’m thinking of getting with HP envy X360 (seen in image) laptop/tablet for college, but I have a Ryzen core desktop, while the envy has an Intel core. Could I use the envy for a second monitor and travel workspace? CS major btw. thanks in advance!
submitted by 1ar505 to techquestions [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 19:01 Able_Possession8736 A Comprehensive Guide to Pro Football Video Game Covers
Another Madden $70 re-skin is upon us, so let's take a moment to explore the history of all the people who have been featured on the cover of an pro football video game.
While the selection of the Madden cover athlete is now an event, there was a wild wild west period of football games from the 80s to the mid-2000s where anybody with a computer could and would build football games, with the selection of the cover being all over the place. Roger Craig was the first cover athlete in 1985 on NFL Challenge for MS-DOS. Madden's first game was in 1988, then by the mid-90s getting a cover athlete or spokesman for your football game was pretty standard.
I wanted to compile those games and covers based on this Wiki article (and a few that it was missing from that list) and see who was on the main cover of all of those games (some games were almost completely irrelevant, so I left them off this list). Some of these may have more alternates with other people, but I'll stick with the main cover.
*These are heavily boosted by John Madden being on 10 Madden covers
Obviously QBs dominate here, but I didn't realize how little defensive players have been on football game covers (9%), with none being on a cover since Richard Sherman in 2014. I'd love to see more defensive players on the Madden cover. Who would be the most likely defensive guy in the near future? Aaron Donald, TJ Watt, Nick Bosa, Myles Garrett, or Sauce Gardner?
If a team's player was not a lead on the cover or was not any identifiable player, I gave them a *
The Re-skins/Commanders?, Jags, Panthers, and Bills have appeared on a cover but never with an athlete as the lead or with a real person. Only the Texans have never appeared at all on the cover of any football video game. I'd say the Bills are most likely to get one next (Josh Allen), then the Jags (Trevor Lawrence), then the Panthers/Texans if either hits a home run with Young or Stroud. The Commanders have a long road ahead to getting a feature cover athlete, unless you ask Sam Howell who thinks he should be this year's Madden cover athlete.
Kordell Stewart, Daunte Culpepper, and Donovan McNabb (and possibly Lamar Jackson, still too early for him) are the only players with multiple appearances that are either not or are unlikely to make the Hall of Fame. McNabb is the only guy to appear in multiple covers in the same year. Also of note, 7 athletes were on a cover without ever making a pro bowl in their careers: Brad Muster, Pat Terrell, Gordon Laro, Chris Zorich, Albert Fontenot, William Floyd, and Peyton Hillis (Hillis was the only one to be the primary cover athlete).
I'll list all the games and their respective covers by their era below. I'll also attach some of my favorite covers from each era. If the cover person was a Hall of Famer, I'll mark them with a \). If they're very likely to make the HoF but they're not yet eligible, I'll mark them with a +
We didn't see the first cover athlete until 1985 with Roger Craig. They didn't really become standard until the early to mid-90s after Madden became a big selling point for the early Madden games. The dip in the last 2 decades is because there's just less games, so any generic football games will have a large effect.
1988: John Madden Football released on the Apple II, MS-DOS, and Commodore 64/128 (partly being developed by Bethesda), which was the beginning of the most dominant franchise in football video games. They featured no NFL teams due to a lack of an NFL license.
1991: Tecmo Super Bowl is probably still my personal favorite football video game. It's totally timeless, and if you pick the Raiders then you're a cheater.
2000: Madden 2001 started the tradition of having their games feature a cover athlete in this format, which consolidated into nearly everyone following this trend.
2001: Backyard Football 2002 was a more kid-friendly version of a football video game, and they also had other games for other professional sports. I definitely played this a lot on my old Windows Me computer, and Pablo Sanchez is a god.
2002: NFL Fever was Microsoft's foray into football video games on the original Xbox. All 3 of their games featured Peyton Manning as the cover athlete.
2002: NFL GameDay 2003 was 989 Sports' exclusive for Sony on the PlayStation platform.
2004: ESPN NFL 2K5 was the last great football game before the NFL exclusively gave their license to the EA. It was this game that definitely led to NFL's decision though, as they slashed their release price to an unheard of $20, which forced Madden 2004 to release at $30 instead of the typical $50. This pissed off the NFL, who decided to have less competition instead.
2006: NFL Head Coach was a new perspective on NFL Games where you play as the coach instead of the players. I enjoyed these although they could get a little boring.
2007: All Pro Football 2K8 was 2K's attempt at keeping the 2K football franchise alive without the coveted NFL license. They got three HoF players on the cover in Elway, Barry, and Rice, but not the actual license to any NFL team. This game received praise for its mechanics, but poor sales showed that a non-NFL licensed game would always struggle to make it.
2011: Madden 12 was maybe the last good Madden game. Also, Peyton Hillis. The only guy on a NFL football game cover to never make a Pro Bowl. This guy is an actual hero though, so good for him.
2019: Doug Flutie's Maximum Football was a mix of american and CFL football as another attempt at making a football game without the NFL license to poor results. They have announced a new game as a free to play title on new platforms, but no games in this franchise have released since 2020.
2020: Retro Bowl is a mobile game more in the style of Tecmo Super Bowl than Madden. It's probably the most successful non-Madden game since ESPN NFL 2K5, and it's pretty fun. People should definitely give this one a try since it's free to play on any mobile platform.
2022: Madden 23 gave the cover back to Madden for the first time since 1999 to honor the passing of the legend John Madden. Unfortunately the game inside the cover was crap, has been the style of Madden games for over a decade.
submitted by Able_Possession8736 to nflstreamlinks [link] [comments]
While the selection of the Madden cover athlete is now an event, there was a wild wild west period of football games from the 80s to the mid-2000s where anybody with a computer could and would build football games, with the selection of the cover being all over the place. Roger Craig was the first cover athlete in 1985 on NFL Challenge for MS-DOS. Madden's first game was in 1988, then by the mid-90s getting a cover athlete or spokesman for your football game was pretty standard.
I wanted to compile those games and covers based on this Wiki article (and a few that it was missing from that list) and see who was on the main cover of all of those games (some games were almost completely irrelevant, so I left them off this list). Some of these may have more alternates with other people, but I'll stick with the main cover.
Covers by Position
https://preview.redd.it/1dzua4o2hl2b1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=023c573335e64d21fccc937a44db0ae995510db6*These are heavily boosted by John Madden being on 10 Madden covers
Obviously QBs dominate here, but I didn't realize how little defensive players have been on football game covers (9%), with none being on a cover since Richard Sherman in 2014. I'd love to see more defensive players on the Madden cover. Who would be the most likely defensive guy in the near future? Aaron Donald, TJ Watt, Nick Bosa, Myles Garrett, or Sauce Gardner?
Covers by Team
https://preview.redd.it/8f29df4ygl2b1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=3b93f8a4ddb26b2cee1f6abd74652f44b7fbfdcbIf a team's player was not a lead on the cover or was not any identifiable player, I gave them a *
The Re-skins/Commanders?, Jags, Panthers, and Bills have appeared on a cover but never with an athlete as the lead or with a real person. Only the Texans have never appeared at all on the cover of any football video game. I'd say the Bills are most likely to get one next (Josh Allen), then the Jags (Trevor Lawrence), then the Panthers/Texans if either hits a home run with Young or Stroud. The Commanders have a long road ahead to getting a feature cover athlete, unless you ask Sam Howell who thinks he should be this year's Madden cover athlete.
Most Prolific Cover People
https://preview.redd.it/5axoymcakl2b1.png?width=2871&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=9ecf9c52cad0647d1572d2d9c85ebdef0dd277c3Kordell Stewart, Daunte Culpepper, and Donovan McNabb (and possibly Lamar Jackson, still too early for him) are the only players with multiple appearances that are either not or are unlikely to make the Hall of Fame. McNabb is the only guy to appear in multiple covers in the same year. Also of note, 7 athletes were on a cover without ever making a pro bowl in their careers: Brad Muster, Pat Terrell, Gordon Laro, Chris Zorich, Albert Fontenot, William Floyd, and Peyton Hillis (Hillis was the only one to be the primary cover athlete).
I'll list all the games and their respective covers by their era below. I'll also attach some of my favorite covers from each era. If the cover person was a Hall of Famer, I'll mark them with a \). If they're very likely to make the HoF but they're not yet eligible, I'll mark them with a +
Covers by Era
| Decade | # of Games | # of Games w/Cover Athletes | # of Cover Athletes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 60s | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| 70s | 4 | 0 | 0 |
| 80s | 11 | 2 (18%) | 2 |
| 90s | 36 | 32 (89%) | 21 |
| 00s | 40 | 38 (95%) | 36 |
| 10s | 14 | 10 (71%) | 12 |
| 20s | 8 | 4 (50%) | 5 |
| Total | 114 | 86 (75%) | 76 |
The Early Days: 1965-1982
1978: Football! for the Magnavox Odyssey 2 was the first football video game with a cover, but obviously the cover athletes are generic.| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1965 | FTBALL | NA | NA | NA |
| 1972 | Football (Magnavox) | NA | NA | NA |
| 1978 | Football! | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1978 | Football (Atari) | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1979 | NFL Football | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1982 | Realsports: Football | Generic players | NA | NA |
The 2D Era: 1983-1996
1985: NFL Challenge was the first football game with a real cover athlete (Roger Craig). This was the original bar for realism in football simulation, to where it was used in a 1988 ESPN Program \"NFL Dream Season\" where they simulated the greatest teams of all time against each other.1988: John Madden Football released on the Apple II, MS-DOS, and Commodore 64/128 (partly being developed by Bethesda), which was the beginning of the most dominant franchise in football video games. They featured no NFL teams due to a lack of an NFL license.
1991: Tecmo Super Bowl is probably still my personal favorite football video game. It's totally timeless, and if you pick the Raiders then you're a cheater.
| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1983 | 10-Yard Fight | Generic Jersey | NA | NA |
| 1984 | Super Action Football | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1985 | NFL Challenge | Roger Craig | 49ers | RB |
| 1987 | 4th & Inches | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1987 | Tecmo Bowl | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1988 | TV Sports: Football | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1988 | John Madden Football ('88) | John Madden* | None | John Madden |
| 1989 | ABC Monday Night Football | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1989 | NFL | Generic players | 49ers, Raiders, Oilers, Broncos, Re-skins | NA |
| 1989 | PlayMaker Football | Equipment | NA | NA |
| 1990 | Joe Montana Football | Joe Montana* | None | QB |
| 1990 | John Madden Football ('90) | John Madden* | None | John Madden |
| 1991 | John Madden Football II (or '92) | John Madden* | None | John Madden |
| 1991 | Tecmo Super Bowl | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1992 | NFL Sports Talk Football '93 | Joe Montana* | 49ers | QB |
| 1992 | Front Page Sports Football | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1993 | Capcom's MVP Football | Brad Muster | Bears | FB |
| 1993 | Madden NFL '94 | John Madden* | NA | HC/Announcer |
| 1993 | NFL Football '94 Starring Joe Montana | Joe Montana* | Chiefs | QB |
| 1993 | Mutant League Football | Mutant | NA | NA |
| 1994 | ESPN Sunday Night NFL | Chris Berman | NA | Announcer |
| 1994 | Madden NFL '95 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1994 | Tecmo Super Bowl II: Special Edition | Generic player | Cowboys | NA |
| 1994 | Troy Aikman NFL Football | Troy Aikman* | Cowboys | QB |
| 1995 | Emmitt Smith Football | Emmitt Smith* | None | RB |
| 1995 | Madden NFL '96 | John Madden*, Pat Terrell, Gordon Laro | NA, Panthers, Jags | John Madden, DB, TE |
| 1995 | NFL Quarterback Club 96 | Steve Young*, Chris Zorich, Albert Fontenot | 49ers, Bears | QB, DL |
| 1995 | Sterling Sharpe: End 2 End | Sterling Sharpe | None | WR |
| 1995 | Tecmo Super Bowl III: Final Edition | Generic players | Raiders, Bills | NA |
| 1995 | NFL GameDay | William Floyd | 49ers | FB |
| 1996 | Madden NFL 97 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1996 | NFL '97 | Kordell Stewart | Steelers | QB |
| 1996 | NFL Quarterback Club 97 | Dan Marino* | Dolphins | QB |
| 1996 | NFL GameDay '97 | Daryl "Moose" Johnston | Cowboys | FB |
The Parity Era: 1997-2004
1997: NFL Blitz came from Midway studios and was a breath of fresh air for football games. They had mostly been stagnant trying to hone in on realistic simulation in 2D form, whereas Blitz came out in 3D and threw realism out the window. I definitely spent too much money on the arcade version of this game.2000: Madden 2001 started the tradition of having their games feature a cover athlete in this format, which consolidated into nearly everyone following this trend.
2001: Backyard Football 2002 was a more kid-friendly version of a football video game, and they also had other games for other professional sports. I definitely played this a lot on my old Windows Me computer, and Pablo Sanchez is a god.
2002: NFL Fever was Microsoft's foray into football video games on the original Xbox. All 3 of their games featured Peyton Manning as the cover athlete.
2002: NFL GameDay 2003 was 989 Sports' exclusive for Sony on the PlayStation platform.
2004: ESPN NFL 2K5 was the last great football game before the NFL exclusively gave their license to the EA. It was this game that definitely led to NFL's decision though, as they slashed their release price to an unheard of $20, which forced Madden 2004 to release at $30 instead of the typical $50. This pissed off the NFL, who decided to have less competition instead.
| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1997 | NFL Blitz | Kordell Stewart | Steelers | QB |
| 1997 | NFL Quarterback Club 98 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 1997 | NFL GameDay '98 | Jerome Bettis* | Steelers | RB |
| 1997 | Madden NFL 98 (64) | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1998 | NFL Xtreme | Mike Alstott | Bucs | FB |
| 1998 | NFL Quarterback Club 99 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 1998 | NFL GameDay '99 | Terrell Davis* | Broncos | RB |
| 1998 | Madden NFL 99 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1999 | NFL Xtreme 2 | John Randle* | Vikings | DL |
| 1999 | NFL Quarterback Club 2000 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 1999 | NFL GameDay 2000 | Terrell Davis* | Broncos | RB |
| 1999 | NFL 2K | Randy Moss* | Vikings | WR |
| 1999 | Madden NFL 2000 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1999 | Backyard Football | Steve Young)*, Jocinda Smith, Amir Khan | 49ers, Generic | QB |
| 2000 | NFL Quarterback Club 2001 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 2000 | NFL GameDay 2001 | Marshall Faulk* | Rams | RB |
| 2000 | NFL 2K1 | Randy Moss* | Vikings | WR |
| 2000 | Madden NFL 2001 | Eddie George | Titans | RB |
| 2001 | NFL Quarterback Club 2002 | Brett Favre*, Rich Gannon | Packers, Raiders | QB |
| 2001 | NFL GameDay 2002 | Donovan McNabb | Eagles | QB |
| 2001 | NFL Fever 2002 | Peyton Manning* | Colts | QB |
| 2001 | NFL 2K2 | Randy Moss* | Vikings | WR |
| 2001 | Madden NFL 2002 | Daunte Culpepper | Vikings | QB |
| 2001 | Backyard Football 2002 | Drew Bledsoe or Donovan McNabb | Pats or Eagles | QB |
| 2001 | ESPN NFL PrimeTime 2002 | Edgerrin James* | Colts | RB |
| 2002 | NFL GameDay 2003 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2002 | NFL Fever 2003 | Peyton Manning* | Colts | QB |
| 2002 | NFL 2K3 | Brian Urlacher* | Bears | LB |
| 2002 | Madden NFL 2003 | Marshall Faulk* | Rams | RB |
| 2003 | NFL GameDay 2004 | LaDainian Tomlinson* | Chargers | RB |
| 2003 | NFL Fever 2004 | Peyton Manning* | Colts | QB |
| 2003 | Madden NFL 2004 | Michael Vick | Falcons | QB |
| 2003 | ESPN NFL Football | Warren Sapp* | Bucs | DL |
| 2003 | Backyard Football 2004 | Jeff Garcia | 49ers | QB |
| 2004 | NFL GameDay 2005 | Derrick Brooks* | Bucs | LB |
| 2004 | Madden NFL 2005 | Ray Lewis* | Ravens | LB |
| 2004 | ESPN NFL 2K5 | Terrell Owens* | Eagles | WR |
| 2004 | NFL Street | Ricky Williams | Dolphins | RB |
The Madden Era: 2005-Present
2005: NFL Street 2 was the second in the NFL Street series as a kind of spiritual successor to NFL Blitz. EA tried to have some diversity in their football video games outside of the Madden franchise, so they had the short-lived Street franchise under \"EA BIG\"2006: NFL Head Coach was a new perspective on NFL Games where you play as the coach instead of the players. I enjoyed these although they could get a little boring.
2007: All Pro Football 2K8 was 2K's attempt at keeping the 2K football franchise alive without the coveted NFL license. They got three HoF players on the cover in Elway, Barry, and Rice, but not the actual license to any NFL team. This game received praise for its mechanics, but poor sales showed that a non-NFL licensed game would always struggle to make it.
2011: Madden 12 was maybe the last good Madden game. Also, Peyton Hillis. The only guy on a NFL football game cover to never make a Pro Bowl. This guy is an actual hero though, so good for him.
2019: Doug Flutie's Maximum Football was a mix of american and CFL football as another attempt at making a football game without the NFL license to poor results. They have announced a new game as a free to play title on new platforms, but no games in this franchise have released since 2020.
2020: Retro Bowl is a mobile game more in the style of Tecmo Super Bowl than Madden. It's probably the most successful non-Madden game since ESPN NFL 2K5, and it's pretty fun. People should definitely give this one a try since it's free to play on any mobile platform.
2022: Madden 23 gave the cover back to Madden for the first time since 1999 to honor the passing of the legend John Madden. Unfortunately the game inside the cover was crap, has been the style of Madden games for over a decade.
| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2005 | Madden NFL 06 | Donovan McNabb | Eagles | QB |
| 2005 | NFL Street 2 | Jeremy Shockey, Xzibit | Giants, Pimp My Ride | TE, Rapper |
| 2005 | Blitz: The League | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 2005 | Backyard Football 2006 | Daunte Culpepper | Vikings | QB |
| 2006 | Madden NFL 07 | Shaun Alexander | Seahawks | RB |
| 2006 | NFL Head Coach | Bill Cowher* | Steelers | HC |
| 2006 | NFL Street 3 | Chad Johnson | Bengals | WR |
| 2007 | Backyard Football '07 | Ben Roethlisberger+ | Steelers | QB |
| 2007 | Madden NFL 08 | Vince Young | Titans | QB |
| 2007 | All-Pro Football 2K8 | John Elway*, Barry Sanders*, Jerry Rice* | Generic | QB, RB, WR |
| 2007 | Backyard Football '08 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2008 | NFL Tour | Shawne Merriman | Chargers | LB |
| 2008 | NFL Head Coach 09 | Tony Dungy* | Colts | HC |
| 2008 | Backyard Football '09 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2009 | Madden NFL 10 | Troy Polamalu*, Larry Fitzgerald+ | Steelers, Cards | DB, WR |
| 2009 | Backyard Football '10 | Frank Gore+, Eli Manning+, Kurt Warner*, Peyton Manning*, Adrian Peterson+, Jason Witten+ | 49ers, Giants, Cards, Colts, Vikings, Cowboys | RB, QB, TE |
| 2010 | Quick Hit Football | Logo | NA | NA |
| 2010 | Madden NFL 11 | Drew Brees+ | Saints | QB |
| 2010 | Backbreaker | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2011 | Madden NFL 12 | Peyton Hillis | Browns | RB |
| 2012 | Madden NFL 13 | Calvin Johnson* | Lions | WR |
| 2013 | Madden NFL 25 | Barry Sanders* or Adrian Peterson+ | Lions or Vikings | RB |
| 2014 | Madden NFL 15 | Richard Sherman+ | Seahawks | DB |
| 2015 | Madden NFL 16 | Odell Beckham Jr. | Giants | WR |
| 2016 | Madden NFL 17 | Rob Gronkowski+ | Pats | TE |
| 2016 | Axis Football 2016 | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2017 | Madden NFL 18 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2017 | Axis Football 17 | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2018 | Madden NFL 19 | Antonio Brown+ | Steelers | WR |
| 2019 | Doug Flutie's Maximum Football 2019 | Doug Flutie | Generic (Stampeders) | QB |
| 2020 | Sunday Rivals | Helmet | NA | NA |
| 2020 | Retro Bowl | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2020 | Legend Bowl | Silhouette | NA | NA |
| 2019 | Madden NFL 20 | Patrick Mahomes+ | Chiefs | QB |
| 2020 | Madden NFL 21 | Lamar Jackson | Ravens | QB |
| 2021 | Madden NFL 22 | Tom Brady+, Patrick Mahomes+ | Bucs, Chiefs | QB |
| 2022 | Madden NFL 23 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 2023 | NFL Pro Era | Lamar Jackson | Ravens | QB |
2023.05.28 18:22 chadowan A Comprehensive Guide to Pro Football Video Game Covers
Another Madden $70 re-skin is upon us, so let's take a moment to explore the history of all the people who have been featured on the cover of an pro football video game.
While the selection of the Madden cover athlete is now an event, there was a wild wild west period of football games from the 80s to the mid-2000s where anybody with a computer could and would build football games, with the selection of the cover being all over the place. Roger Craig was the first cover athlete in 1985 on NFL Challenge for MS-DOS. Madden's first game was in 1988, then by the mid-90s getting a cover athlete or spokesman for your football game was pretty standard.
I wanted to compile those games and covers based on this Wiki article (and a few that it was missing from that list) and see who was on the main cover of all of those games (some games were almost completely irrelevant, so I left them off this list). Some of these may have more alternates with other people, but I'll stick with the main cover.
*These are heavily boosted by John Madden being on 10 Madden covers
Obviously QBs dominate here, but I didn't realize how little defensive players have been on football game covers (9%), with none being on a cover since Richard Sherman in 2014. I'd love to see more defensive players on the Madden cover. Who would be the most likely defensive guy in the near future? Aaron Donald, TJ Watt, Nick Bosa, Myles Garrett, or Sauce Gardner?
If a team's player was not a lead on the cover or was not any identifiable player, I gave them a *
The Re-skins/Commanders?, Jags, Panthers, and Bills have appeared on a cover but never with an athlete as the lead or with a real person. Only the Texans have never appeared at all on the cover of any football video game. I'd say the Bills are most likely to get one next (Josh Allen), then the Jags (Trevor Lawrence), then the Panthers/Texans if either hits a home run with Young or Stroud. The Commanders have a long road ahead to getting a feature cover athlete, unless you ask Sam Howell who thinks he should be this year's Madden cover athlete.
Kordell Stewart, Daunte Culpepper, and Donovan McNabb (and possibly Lamar Jackson, still too early for him) are the only players with multiple appearances that are either not or are unlikely to make the Hall of Fame. McNabb is the only guy to appear in multiple covers in the same year. Also of note, 7 athletes were on a cover without ever making a pro bowl in their careers: Brad Muster, Pat Terrell, Gordon Laro, Chris Zorich, Albert Fontenot, William Floyd, and Peyton Hillis (Hillis was the only one to be the primary cover athlete).
I'll list all the games and their respective covers by their era below. I'll also attach some of my favorite covers from each era. If the cover person was a Hall of Famer, I'll mark them with a \). If they're very likely to make the HoF but they're not yet eligible, I'll mark them with a +
We didn't see the first cover athlete until 1985 with Roger Craig. They didn't really become standard until the early to mid-90s after Madden became a big selling point for the early Madden games. The dip in the last 2 decades is because there's just less games, so any generic football games will have a large effect.
1988: John Madden Football released on the Apple II, MS-DOS, and Commodore 64/128 (partly being developed by Bethesda), which was the beginning of the most dominant franchise in football video games. They featured no NFL teams due to a lack of an NFL license.
1991: Tecmo Super Bowl is probably still my personal favorite football video game. It's totally timeless, and if you pick the Raiders then you're a cheater.
2000: Madden 2001 started the tradition of having their games feature a cover athlete in this format, which consolidated into nearly everyone following this trend.
2001: Backyard Football 2002 was a more kid-friendly version of a football video game, and they also had other games for other professional sports. I definitely played this a lot on my old Windows Me computer, and Pablo Sanchez is a god.
2002: NFL Fever was Microsoft's foray into football video games on the original Xbox. All 3 of their games featured Peyton Manning as the cover athlete.
2002: NFL GameDay 2003 was 989 Sports' exclusive for Sony on the PlayStation platform.
2004: ESPN NFL 2K5 was the last great football game before the NFL exclusively gave their license to the EA. It was this game that definitely led to NFL's decision though, as they slashed their release price to an unheard of $20, which forced Madden 2004 to release at $30 instead of the typical $50. This pissed off the NFL, who decided to have less competition instead.
2006: NFL Head Coach was a new perspective on NFL Games where you play as the coach instead of the players. I enjoyed these although they could get a little boring.
2007: All Pro Football 2K8 was 2K's attempt at keeping the 2K football franchise alive without the coveted NFL license. They got three HoF players on the cover in Elway, Barry, and Rice, but not the actual license to any NFL team. This game received praise for its mechanics, but poor sales showed that a non-NFL licensed game would always struggle to make it.
2011: Madden 12 was maybe the last good Madden game. Also, Peyton Hillis. The only guy on a NFL football game cover to never make a Pro Bowl. This guy is an actual hero though, so good for him.
2019: Doug Flutie's Maximum Football was a mix of american and CFL football as another attempt at making a football game without the NFL license to poor results. They have announced a new game as a free to play title on new platforms, but no games in this franchise have released since 2020.
2020: Retro Bowl is a mobile game more in the style of Tecmo Super Bowl than Madden. It's probably the most successful non-Madden game since ESPN NFL 2K5, and it's pretty fun. People should definitely give this one a try since it's free to play on any mobile platform.
2022: Madden 23 gave the cover back to Madden for the first time since 1999 to honor the passing of the legend John Madden. Unfortunately the game inside the cover was crap, has been the style of Madden games for over a decade.
submitted by chadowan to nfl [link] [comments]
While the selection of the Madden cover athlete is now an event, there was a wild wild west period of football games from the 80s to the mid-2000s where anybody with a computer could and would build football games, with the selection of the cover being all over the place. Roger Craig was the first cover athlete in 1985 on NFL Challenge for MS-DOS. Madden's first game was in 1988, then by the mid-90s getting a cover athlete or spokesman for your football game was pretty standard.
I wanted to compile those games and covers based on this Wiki article (and a few that it was missing from that list) and see who was on the main cover of all of those games (some games were almost completely irrelevant, so I left them off this list). Some of these may have more alternates with other people, but I'll stick with the main cover.
Covers by Position
https://preview.redd.it/1dzua4o2hl2b1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=79174425f34c9090dacddd78d3679923182d5f3a*These are heavily boosted by John Madden being on 10 Madden covers
Obviously QBs dominate here, but I didn't realize how little defensive players have been on football game covers (9%), with none being on a cover since Richard Sherman in 2014. I'd love to see more defensive players on the Madden cover. Who would be the most likely defensive guy in the near future? Aaron Donald, TJ Watt, Nick Bosa, Myles Garrett, or Sauce Gardner?
Covers by Team
https://preview.redd.it/8f29df4ygl2b1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=cfa6fba341321f2fb7be68a4be1d0e89404f9e40If a team's player was not a lead on the cover or was not any identifiable player, I gave them a *
The Re-skins/Commanders?, Jags, Panthers, and Bills have appeared on a cover but never with an athlete as the lead or with a real person. Only the Texans have never appeared at all on the cover of any football video game. I'd say the Bills are most likely to get one next (Josh Allen), then the Jags (Trevor Lawrence), then the Panthers/Texans if either hits a home run with Young or Stroud. The Commanders have a long road ahead to getting a feature cover athlete, unless you ask Sam Howell who thinks he should be this year's Madden cover athlete.
Most Prolific Cover People
https://preview.redd.it/5axoymcakl2b1.png?width=2871&format=png&auto=webp&s=1ead25140a20a056d3e02e6cf5fdc14918a9ca51Kordell Stewart, Daunte Culpepper, and Donovan McNabb (and possibly Lamar Jackson, still too early for him) are the only players with multiple appearances that are either not or are unlikely to make the Hall of Fame. McNabb is the only guy to appear in multiple covers in the same year. Also of note, 7 athletes were on a cover without ever making a pro bowl in their careers: Brad Muster, Pat Terrell, Gordon Laro, Chris Zorich, Albert Fontenot, William Floyd, and Peyton Hillis (Hillis was the only one to be the primary cover athlete).
I'll list all the games and their respective covers by their era below. I'll also attach some of my favorite covers from each era. If the cover person was a Hall of Famer, I'll mark them with a \). If they're very likely to make the HoF but they're not yet eligible, I'll mark them with a +
Covers by Era
| Decade | # of Games | # of Games w/Cover Athletes | # of Cover Athletes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 60s | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| 70s | 4 | 0 | 0 |
| 80s | 11 | 2 (18%) | 2 |
| 90s | 36 | 32 (89%) | 21 |
| 00s | 40 | 38 (95%) | 36 |
| 10s | 14 | 10 (71%) | 12 |
| 20s | 8 | 4 (50%) | 5 |
| Total | 114 | 86 (75%) | 76 |
The Early Days: 1965-1982
1978: Football! for the Magnavox Odyssey 2 was the first football video game with a cover, but obviously the cover athletes are generic.| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1965 | FTBALL | NA | NA | NA |
| 1972 | Football (Magnavox) | NA | NA | NA |
| 1978 | Football! | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1978 | Football (Atari) | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1979 | NFL Football | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1982 | Realsports: Football | Generic players | NA | NA |
The 2D Era: 1983-1996
1985: NFL Challenge was the first football game with a real cover athlete (Roger Craig). This was the original bar for realism in football simulation, to where it was used in a 1988 ESPN Program \"NFL Dream Season\" where they simulated the greatest teams of all time against each other.1988: John Madden Football released on the Apple II, MS-DOS, and Commodore 64/128 (partly being developed by Bethesda), which was the beginning of the most dominant franchise in football video games. They featured no NFL teams due to a lack of an NFL license.
1991: Tecmo Super Bowl is probably still my personal favorite football video game. It's totally timeless, and if you pick the Raiders then you're a cheater.
| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1983 | 10-Yard Fight | Generic Jersey | NA | NA |
| 1984 | Super Action Football | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1985 | NFL Challenge | Roger Craig | 49ers | RB |
| 1987 | 4th & Inches | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1987 | Tecmo Bowl | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1988 | TV Sports: Football | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1988 | John Madden Football ('88) | John Madden* | None | John Madden |
| 1989 | ABC Monday Night Football | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1989 | NFL | Generic players | 49ers, Raiders, Oilers, Broncos, Re-skins | NA |
| 1989 | PlayMaker Football | Equipment | NA | NA |
| 1990 | Joe Montana Football | Joe Montana* | None | QB |
| 1990 | John Madden Football ('90) | John Madden* | None | John Madden |
| 1991 | John Madden Football II (or '92) | John Madden* | None | John Madden |
| 1991 | Tecmo Super Bowl | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 1992 | NFL Sports Talk Football '93 | Joe Montana* | 49ers | QB |
| 1992 | Front Page Sports Football | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 1993 | Capcom's MVP Football | Brad Muster | Bears | FB |
| 1993 | Madden NFL '94 | John Madden* | NA | HC/Announcer |
| 1993 | NFL Football '94 Starring Joe Montana | Joe Montana* | Chiefs | QB |
| 1993 | Mutant League Football | Mutant | NA | NA |
| 1994 | ESPN Sunday Night NFL | Chris Berman | NA | Announcer |
| 1994 | Madden NFL '95 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1994 | Tecmo Super Bowl II: Special Edition | Generic player | Cowboys | NA |
| 1994 | Troy Aikman NFL Football | Troy Aikman* | Cowboys | QB |
| 1995 | Emmitt Smith Football | Emmitt Smith* | None | RB |
| 1995 | Madden NFL '96 | John Madden*, Pat Terrell, Gordon Laro | NA, Panthers, Jags | John Madden, DB, TE |
| 1995 | NFL Quarterback Club 96 | Steve Young*, Chris Zorich, Albert Fontenot | 49ers, Bears | QB, DL |
| 1995 | Sterling Sharpe: End 2 End | Sterling Sharpe | None | WR |
| 1995 | Tecmo Super Bowl III: Final Edition | Generic players | Raiders, Bills | NA |
| 1995 | NFL GameDay | William Floyd | 49ers | FB |
| 1996 | Madden NFL 97 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1996 | NFL '97 | Kordell Stewart | Steelers | QB |
| 1996 | NFL Quarterback Club 97 | Dan Marino* | Dolphins | QB |
| 1996 | NFL GameDay '97 | Daryl "Moose" Johnston | Cowboys | FB |
The Parity Era: 1997-2004
1997: NFL Blitz came from Midway studios and was a breath of fresh air for football games. They had mostly been stagnant trying to hone in on realistic simulation in 2D form, whereas Blitz came out in 3D and threw realism out the window. I definitely spent too much money on the arcade version of this game.2000: Madden 2001 started the tradition of having their games feature a cover athlete in this format, which consolidated into nearly everyone following this trend.
2001: Backyard Football 2002 was a more kid-friendly version of a football video game, and they also had other games for other professional sports. I definitely played this a lot on my old Windows Me computer, and Pablo Sanchez is a god.
2002: NFL Fever was Microsoft's foray into football video games on the original Xbox. All 3 of their games featured Peyton Manning as the cover athlete.
2002: NFL GameDay 2003 was 989 Sports' exclusive for Sony on the PlayStation platform.
2004: ESPN NFL 2K5 was the last great football game before the NFL exclusively gave their license to the EA. It was this game that definitely led to NFL's decision though, as they slashed their release price to an unheard of $20, which forced Madden 2004 to release at $30 instead of the typical $50. This pissed off the NFL, who decided to have less competition instead.
| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1997 | NFL Blitz | Kordell Stewart | Steelers | QB |
| 1997 | NFL Quarterback Club 98 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 1997 | NFL GameDay '98 | Jerome Bettis* | Steelers | RB |
| 1997 | Madden NFL 98 (64) | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1998 | NFL Xtreme | Mike Alstott | Bucs | FB |
| 1998 | NFL Quarterback Club 99 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 1998 | NFL GameDay '99 | Terrell Davis* | Broncos | RB |
| 1998 | Madden NFL 99 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1999 | NFL Xtreme 2 | John Randle* | Vikings | DL |
| 1999 | NFL Quarterback Club 2000 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 1999 | NFL GameDay 2000 | Terrell Davis* | Broncos | RB |
| 1999 | NFL 2K | Randy Moss* | Vikings | WR |
| 1999 | Madden NFL 2000 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 1999 | Backyard Football | Steve Young)*, Jocinda Smith, Amir Khan | 49ers, Generic | QB |
| 2000 | NFL Quarterback Club 2001 | Brett Favre* | Packers | QB |
| 2000 | NFL GameDay 2001 | Marshall Faulk* | Rams | RB |
| 2000 | NFL 2K1 | Randy Moss* | Vikings | WR |
| 2000 | Madden NFL 2001 | Eddie George | Titans | RB |
| 2001 | NFL Quarterback Club 2002 | Brett Favre*, Rich Gannon | Packers, Raiders | QB |
| 2001 | NFL GameDay 2002 | Donovan McNabb | Eagles | QB |
| 2001 | NFL Fever 2002 | Peyton Manning* | Colts | QB |
| 2001 | NFL 2K2 | Randy Moss* | Vikings | WR |
| 2001 | Madden NFL 2002 | Daunte Culpepper | Vikings | QB |
| 2001 | Backyard Football 2002 | Drew Bledsoe or Donovan McNabb | Pats or Eagles | QB |
| 2001 | ESPN NFL PrimeTime 2002 | Edgerrin James* | Colts | RB |
| 2002 | NFL GameDay 2003 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2002 | NFL Fever 2003 | Peyton Manning* | Colts | QB |
| 2002 | NFL 2K3 | Brian Urlacher* | Bears | LB |
| 2002 | Madden NFL 2003 | Marshall Faulk* | Rams | RB |
| 2003 | NFL GameDay 2004 | LaDainian Tomlinson* | Chargers | RB |
| 2003 | NFL Fever 2004 | Peyton Manning* | Colts | QB |
| 2003 | Madden NFL 2004 | Michael Vick | Falcons | QB |
| 2003 | ESPN NFL Football | Warren Sapp* | Bucs | DL |
| 2003 | Backyard Football 2004 | Jeff Garcia | 49ers | QB |
| 2004 | NFL GameDay 2005 | Derrick Brooks* | Bucs | LB |
| 2004 | Madden NFL 2005 | Ray Lewis* | Ravens | LB |
| 2004 | ESPN NFL 2K5 | Terrell Owens* | Eagles | WR |
| 2004 | NFL Street | Ricky Williams | Dolphins | RB |
The Madden Era: 2005-Present
2005: NFL Street 2 was the second in the NFL Street series as a kind of spiritual successor to NFL Blitz. EA tried to have some diversity in their football video games outside of the Madden franchise, so they had the short-lived Street franchise under \"EA BIG\"2006: NFL Head Coach was a new perspective on NFL Games where you play as the coach instead of the players. I enjoyed these although they could get a little boring.
2007: All Pro Football 2K8 was 2K's attempt at keeping the 2K football franchise alive without the coveted NFL license. They got three HoF players on the cover in Elway, Barry, and Rice, but not the actual license to any NFL team. This game received praise for its mechanics, but poor sales showed that a non-NFL licensed game would always struggle to make it.
2011: Madden 12 was maybe the last good Madden game. Also, Peyton Hillis. The only guy on a NFL football game cover to never make a Pro Bowl. This guy is an actual hero though, so good for him.
2019: Doug Flutie's Maximum Football was a mix of american and CFL football as another attempt at making a football game without the NFL license to poor results. They have announced a new game as a free to play title on new platforms, but no games in this franchise have released since 2020.
2020: Retro Bowl is a mobile game more in the style of Tecmo Super Bowl than Madden. It's probably the most successful non-Madden game since ESPN NFL 2K5, and it's pretty fun. People should definitely give this one a try since it's free to play on any mobile platform.
2022: Madden 23 gave the cover back to Madden for the first time since 1999 to honor the passing of the legend John Madden. Unfortunately the game inside the cover was crap, has been the style of Madden games for over a decade.
| Year | Game | Cover Athlete | Team | Position |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2005 | Madden NFL 06 | Donovan McNabb | Eagles | QB |
| 2005 | NFL Street 2 | Jeremy Shockey, Xzibit | Giants, Pimp My Ride | TE, Rapper |
| 2005 | Blitz: The League | Generic players | NA | NA |
| 2005 | Backyard Football 2006 | Daunte Culpepper | Vikings | QB |
| 2006 | Madden NFL 07 | Shaun Alexander | Seahawks | RB |
| 2006 | NFL Head Coach | Bill Cowher* | Steelers | HC |
| 2006 | NFL Street 3 | Chad Johnson | Bengals | WR |
| 2007 | Backyard Football '07 | Ben Roethlisberger+ | Steelers | QB |
| 2007 | Madden NFL 08 | Vince Young | Titans | QB |
| 2007 | All-Pro Football 2K8 | John Elway*, Barry Sanders*, Jerry Rice* | Generic | QB, RB, WR |
| 2007 | Backyard Football '08 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2008 | NFL Tour | Shawne Merriman | Chargers | LB |
| 2008 | NFL Head Coach 09 | Tony Dungy* | Colts | HC |
| 2008 | Backyard Football '09 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2009 | Madden NFL 10 | Troy Polamalu*, Larry Fitzgerald+ | Steelers, Cards | DB, WR |
| 2009 | Backyard Football '10 | Frank Gore+, Eli Manning+, Kurt Warner*, Peyton Manning*, Adrian Peterson+, Jason Witten+ | 49ers, Giants, Cards, Colts, Vikings, Cowboys | RB, QB, TE |
| 2010 | Quick Hit Football | Logo | NA | NA |
| 2010 | Madden NFL 11 | Drew Brees+ | Saints | QB |
| 2010 | Backbreaker | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2011 | Madden NFL 12 | Peyton Hillis | Browns | RB |
| 2012 | Madden NFL 13 | Calvin Johnson* | Lions | WR |
| 2013 | Madden NFL 25 | Barry Sanders* or Adrian Peterson+ | Lions or Vikings | RB |
| 2014 | Madden NFL 15 | Richard Sherman+ | Seahawks | DB |
| 2015 | Madden NFL 16 | Odell Beckham Jr. | Giants | WR |
| 2016 | Madden NFL 17 | Rob Gronkowski+ | Pats | TE |
| 2016 | Axis Football 2016 | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2017 | Madden NFL 18 | Tom Brady+ | Pats | QB |
| 2017 | Axis Football 17 | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2018 | Madden NFL 19 | Antonio Brown+ | Steelers | WR |
| 2019 | Doug Flutie's Maximum Football 2019 | Doug Flutie | Generic (Stampeders) | QB |
| 2020 | Sunday Rivals | Helmet | NA | NA |
| 2020 | Retro Bowl | Generic player | NA | NA |
| 2020 | Legend Bowl | Silhouette | NA | NA |
| 2019 | Madden NFL 20 | Patrick Mahomes+ | Chiefs | QB |
| 2020 | Madden NFL 21 | Lamar Jackson | Ravens | QB |
| 2021 | Madden NFL 22 | Tom Brady+, Patrick Mahomes+ | Bucs, Chiefs | QB |
| 2022 | Madden NFL 23 | John Madden* | NA | John Madden |
| 2023 | NFL Pro Era | Lamar Jackson | Ravens | QB |
2023.05.28 13:57 Colt_Leasure The family next door disappeared. The answer to their vanishing is in the woods.
1
I live in a suburb surrounded by forest. My house is in a row of other properties built next to a tree line. The neighborhood was always quiet. The sounds of crickets, birds, and sight of black bears were routine on most summer days.
The scenic area was something I was always grateful for. I lived completely alone since the death of my parents. An accidental fire took both of their lives. Once I collected my inheritance, I relocated to a much more peaceful region. I had always fantasized about moving there.
I tried to start a relationship with Samantha. I had gone to High School with her sixteen years before. She had gone on to become a respected Detective. My attempt at something long lasting with her failed. She was too career oriented. I was reeling from grief. Focusing on building something meaningful with her was a pipe dream.
Things around my community changed once the Murphy family went missing.
The first sign that something was off on that Wednesday was how their blinds had closed. Their silver Chrysler remained parked in the driveway.
A tennis instructor at the country club noticed the wife of that house did not show up for the program. He called their number to make sure everything was alright. When no one responded, he notified the authorities. Rumors abounded immediately among the home owners association about an alleged affair. The gossip only furthered when the married couple and their three kids were not found in the abode.
I watched from my balcony as the patrolmen roped the place off with caution tape. The domicile was a three story building with brick chimney’s and a few peaked roofs in the style of English towers. They were beige, light blue and crimson.
On the morning of the Murphy’s desertion of society, the architecture became a hollow image. It was one that was once filled with activity and life.
The law did what they could. Any success they may have had in the investigation was secret. A few months passed by and they removed the caution tape.
I followed the on-line police logs. The weather was pristine and clear the day they vanished. The fact that there were no witnesses to what direction they may have gone disturbed me.
I had heard how the man, Frank Murphy, had a bit of a temper and always had a bourbon in hand. I had heard mutual friends describe him as an alcoholic in denial of his servitude to liquor. He was an indignant individual who knew no true repercussions for his behavior. He always had bail money from a software company he founded and sold a long time ago.
I was never close to that family, but I peered out at their vacant house far more than I ever had. I was in need of an answer. What could have happened?
2
I called Samantha one evening as I sat on my bed, wondering how she would respond to my reaching out. We were never argumentative or on bad terms. I still worried about her reaction, and hoped it would not be a dismissive one.
I heard her say hello. Her voice still impressed me. I had almost forgotten how silky her tone was. I knew it could change to a much firmer pitch when she was interviewing a suspect.
“Hi, Sam. I’d like to know if you’d be free tomorrow for a cup of coffee. We can go to that place, The Bean Field, off Pond road. It’s been a while and I know you have a lot to tell me about what’s new in your life.”
There was a pause on the other end, and for a second a bout of anxiety hit me. I judged my own words as robotic, stilted, and sure to push her away. I reasoned she was summoning an excuse to get out of having to interact with me. How dare I presume she would even entertain the notion of having a meeting.
“That sounds great,” she said. “Tomorrow is my day off, luckily for you. I’m in the middle of an incident right now. It’s a five car pile-up about forty minutes from where you live. I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When she hung up, I was triumphant. I looked at our old text conversations. I realized we had not been in communication with each other for over twelve months. Now was my opportunity to reconcile that gap of unintended avoidance. I knew it would be an undeserved opportunity.
3
I sat outside of the cafe the next morning at a black metal table. I had a view of rolling hills dotted with trees. A highway with multitudinous shrubberies sat on either side of it. I sipped a piccolo latte while waiting for her.
When she arrived and stepped out of her hatchback in the parking lot, her appearance floored me. She had not dressed up for our supposed date, but that did not make a difference. She had arrived from the gym and wore shorts and a top set. She donned a gray and green hoodie.
She sat across from me and reached for the menu.
“Can you go to the front and order me avocado toast?” Samantha asked. “I’ll also take a mocha with a few shots of espresso. Please.”
I did exactly that. When I returned with her items, she apologized for consuming her meal in less than two minutes.
“I hadn’t eaten since five PM yesterday,” she said between sips.
“I understand,” I said. “I doubt you ever have a consistent schedule anymore.”
“You’re right, but that’s why I have to enjoy my free time when I can.”
We settled into talking about what had happened since we last saw each other. I referenced my trying to learn another language (French) with the hopes of moving to Europe or Canada.
After fifteen minutes of small talk, I asked her about work, but I did so with caution. It started with me wondering about what the call she was on when we were on the phone was about.
“A drunk driver blew a stop sign and hit two other vehicles,” she said. “It was ugly. A few people died. We’ll see if the man in silk pajamas gives him the proper sentence or a traffic citation.”
“You know, I’m curious about what happened to the Murphy’s, if they’re hurt or not.”
“You and everyone else,” she said. “We’ve been getting so many witness accounts, and so far they’ve all been bogus. All I know is what I saw when I got there.”
“I didn’t know you were one of the responders,” I said.
“Yeah. Something about the place was off from the moment I walked in. I found heavy items in placed they should not have been in. The toolbox was not in the garage but on the second story. A disassembled snowblower lay scattered everywhere in pieces. The oven door was on their bed. Frank Murphy was not the strongest guy in the world, either. For him to cause the kind of property damage I saw doesn’t make a lot of sense. At the risk of sounding crazy, inexplicable things happened when I was there.”
“Like what?”
“I was under the impression that something was playing a trick on me. Electrical outlets sparked a few times out of nowhere. The ceiling fan would go from still to spinning when I looked up at it. Books would fall off of the shelves. A volume on black magic, of all things, almost hit the top of my head when I walked on by. Another book about fairies collapsed with it.”
“So the home intruder set up a bunch of weird diversions,” I said. “I’ve heard of that before. These killers or kidnappers want the victims to think there was more than one of them. It’s so their account’s disputed in court.”
I’ll tell you right now,” she said, “we didn’t find any outside DNA.”
“So it’s a case of family annihilation,” I said as I took a long swig of my beverage. “I don’t know if you can substantiate the facts, but a few people have said that Emily had a big life insurance policy. Frank knew about. He may have been using steroids and having an affair, and that could have contributed to-“
It occurred to me that she eyed me with suspicion, as though I was digging too deep. I could also tell she regretted letting information about the forensic results slip.
She stood up and stared at me with a flash of anger in her eyes.
“I thought you wanted to piece something back together with me,” she said. “I didn’t know you wanted to play armchair investigator like every true crime fan. You know, your parents were kind. I wish you’d follow their example. I’ll let you get the bill.”
She walked back to her vehicle and I knew it would be a while before we conversed again.
Later that night, I stared out my window at the Murphy home. I saw a star shoot across the sky, and it almost seemed ready to plummet into the side of their house.
4
The next evening, I took a walk around the suburb. I spotted a thin line of dried red fluid along a path which led into the woods.
I was attempting to get in some movement to get my mind off of the events of the day before. Negativity and self-deprecation were all-consuming. I felt the need for a long saunter to try and release some of the meandering and pessimistic energy I accrued.
When I saw the carmine ribbon along the dark soil, a sense of worry filled me. I was not that far removed from a cul-de-sac with palatial manors a block away. There was no way I could speculate on me being the first to see it.
Could it be a hint where they are? I thought.
The notion seemed absurd, a reach.
I had read in the local newspaper that there was an uptick in bobcat sightings due to recent wildfires. The animals relocated during prior summers. I reasoned it could have been a house pet which became a victim after it got snatched away into the overgrowth.
I followed it, and the uneven road of red stretched on past many bushes and over logs. A shrill chirping in the background became louder. I moved between two conifers with petrified wood and found myself in a part of the forest I had never been in.
There were so many branches that it blacked out the falling sun. Ahead of me was a clearing. A swarm of gnats and mosquitos descended upon it. The sea of insects soared together in chaotic unison as a wave among the sedges and lichen.
I looked towards the right of the meadow and saw a ramshackle tree house. I trailed the red line towards it. I peered in through one of the windows and saw a statue of a woman with wings. I knew she was not an angel. There was no halo, nor were her organs of flight feathery, but rather they were thin and bat-like.
I entered the place knowing the danger I was putting myself in. I had tracked mud in and was oblivious to the incriminating actions I partook in. I was trespassing and risking stumbling into whoever may have owned the land. My curiosity got the better of me and caused me to keep moving forward.
The room was sparse but decorated. The walls had carvings of men and women, also with wings. Their bodies held yogic-like positions as they reached out to one another mid-air.
A piece of parchment with a few words sat in the corner. I picked it up and read it:
‘Humans are the greatest living beings to play tricks on. Especially when they go through a time of drought and extreme cold.’
I sat it down where I found it, unsure of what to make of it.
I touched the central figure’s neck. The chiseling was not only cold, but below freezing, as though I had submerged my hand in a polar pool.
The noise of some kind of bird attempting to escape a confined space reverberated below me.
Something brushed against my leg. I looked down and saw an army of glow bugs float up between the cracks, and they circled around me. They were like dragon flies. At the time I had labeled them as such, but in reality their shapes were far too humanoid.
I walked back home. I went to bed and slept. I was still perturbed at the wine-colored avenue and cabin.
I awoke in the middle of the night after something tapped at my walls from the outside. I peered out and saw the Murphy home, and observed how the blinds over their casements were wide open. A hive of mites filled every inch of the interior.
5
I found the decomposing body of a chipmunk stuffed into the tailpipe of my vehicle the next day.
This horrified me, because the deliberation of the act was too evident to ignore. While I did have a surveillance camera on my porch, the coverage of my vehicle was non-existent. I calmed myself down by thinking it was likely a tempestuous child. I retrieved a pair of medical gloves and disposed of the creature before going on with the errand. The rotting body had a horrible smell. It was like an onion left out in humidity for days, and my stomach turned as I sealed it off in the garbage with the lid.
The next morning, I looked in my closet. Some of my favorite shirts had disintegrated. Holes and patches of destroyed fabric littered them. I found it odd, and even searched on-line for possible answers before I decided it had to be a moth infestation. I sprayed lavender. Information on a website statEd that was a cure-all, but the problem persisted. It bothered me that I had not seen a single aphid, but I pushed that concern away.
A few days afterward, when I had tossed my disheveled pieces of attire, the power in my house went out. This was not such an unusual occurrence during the heavy winter months. For it to occur in the summer was strange.
It was a rolling blackout. Once my house had electricity again, I noticed how someone moved items around.
Something turned my kitchen table on its side and stuffed into a part of the kitchen I would have never placed it in.
I grabbed a butcher knife and did a sweep of the premises, and I did not find anything. There were no footprints or signs of anything else tampered with. When I got to the second story, birds nested along the tree tops, and the repugnant odor of fish attacked me.
My allergies became insufferable over the next month. Nothing purchased over the counter which helped it.
6
I went to the beach on an overcast day. After roughly half a mile of walking, I saw an illustration someone had drawn in the sand with a stick. It was of a being with airfoils.
A light precipitation had fallen earlier. As I trailed along the former part of the sand, a glint in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked out at the water and saw what appeared to be a light blue outline of wings beneath the surface.
A phosphorescent wall of creatures surrounded me.
As the days march on, I know I am stalked by something I cannot rebel against, let alone have any agency or autonomy over. My pillowcases have shredded, the pipes in my basement have burst, and someone left me a gift at my front door. When I opened it, I saw mice scurry away. It was a book, and it was one about the history of fairies.
I picked it up and had to blow the dust off of it. Someone had stolen it from a musty subterranean chamber and brought it here.
I theorized that it was Samantha, passive aggressive with her disappointment in me. Yet I flip through its pages and find it all too familiar. I cannot help but wonder if this is a sign of something far more dangerous.
submitted by Colt_Leasure to Colt_Leasure [link] [comments]
I live in a suburb surrounded by forest. My house is in a row of other properties built next to a tree line. The neighborhood was always quiet. The sounds of crickets, birds, and sight of black bears were routine on most summer days.
The scenic area was something I was always grateful for. I lived completely alone since the death of my parents. An accidental fire took both of their lives. Once I collected my inheritance, I relocated to a much more peaceful region. I had always fantasized about moving there.
I tried to start a relationship with Samantha. I had gone to High School with her sixteen years before. She had gone on to become a respected Detective. My attempt at something long lasting with her failed. She was too career oriented. I was reeling from grief. Focusing on building something meaningful with her was a pipe dream.
Things around my community changed once the Murphy family went missing.
The first sign that something was off on that Wednesday was how their blinds had closed. Their silver Chrysler remained parked in the driveway.
A tennis instructor at the country club noticed the wife of that house did not show up for the program. He called their number to make sure everything was alright. When no one responded, he notified the authorities. Rumors abounded immediately among the home owners association about an alleged affair. The gossip only furthered when the married couple and their three kids were not found in the abode.
I watched from my balcony as the patrolmen roped the place off with caution tape. The domicile was a three story building with brick chimney’s and a few peaked roofs in the style of English towers. They were beige, light blue and crimson.
On the morning of the Murphy’s desertion of society, the architecture became a hollow image. It was one that was once filled with activity and life.
The law did what they could. Any success they may have had in the investigation was secret. A few months passed by and they removed the caution tape.
I followed the on-line police logs. The weather was pristine and clear the day they vanished. The fact that there were no witnesses to what direction they may have gone disturbed me.
I had heard how the man, Frank Murphy, had a bit of a temper and always had a bourbon in hand. I had heard mutual friends describe him as an alcoholic in denial of his servitude to liquor. He was an indignant individual who knew no true repercussions for his behavior. He always had bail money from a software company he founded and sold a long time ago.
I was never close to that family, but I peered out at their vacant house far more than I ever had. I was in need of an answer. What could have happened?
2
I called Samantha one evening as I sat on my bed, wondering how she would respond to my reaching out. We were never argumentative or on bad terms. I still worried about her reaction, and hoped it would not be a dismissive one.
I heard her say hello. Her voice still impressed me. I had almost forgotten how silky her tone was. I knew it could change to a much firmer pitch when she was interviewing a suspect.
“Hi, Sam. I’d like to know if you’d be free tomorrow for a cup of coffee. We can go to that place, The Bean Field, off Pond road. It’s been a while and I know you have a lot to tell me about what’s new in your life.”
There was a pause on the other end, and for a second a bout of anxiety hit me. I judged my own words as robotic, stilted, and sure to push her away. I reasoned she was summoning an excuse to get out of having to interact with me. How dare I presume she would even entertain the notion of having a meeting.
“That sounds great,” she said. “Tomorrow is my day off, luckily for you. I’m in the middle of an incident right now. It’s a five car pile-up about forty minutes from where you live. I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When she hung up, I was triumphant. I looked at our old text conversations. I realized we had not been in communication with each other for over twelve months. Now was my opportunity to reconcile that gap of unintended avoidance. I knew it would be an undeserved opportunity.
3
I sat outside of the cafe the next morning at a black metal table. I had a view of rolling hills dotted with trees. A highway with multitudinous shrubberies sat on either side of it. I sipped a piccolo latte while waiting for her.
When she arrived and stepped out of her hatchback in the parking lot, her appearance floored me. She had not dressed up for our supposed date, but that did not make a difference. She had arrived from the gym and wore shorts and a top set. She donned a gray and green hoodie.
She sat across from me and reached for the menu.
“Can you go to the front and order me avocado toast?” Samantha asked. “I’ll also take a mocha with a few shots of espresso. Please.”
I did exactly that. When I returned with her items, she apologized for consuming her meal in less than two minutes.
“I hadn’t eaten since five PM yesterday,” she said between sips.
“I understand,” I said. “I doubt you ever have a consistent schedule anymore.”
“You’re right, but that’s why I have to enjoy my free time when I can.”
We settled into talking about what had happened since we last saw each other. I referenced my trying to learn another language (French) with the hopes of moving to Europe or Canada.
After fifteen minutes of small talk, I asked her about work, but I did so with caution. It started with me wondering about what the call she was on when we were on the phone was about.
“A drunk driver blew a stop sign and hit two other vehicles,” she said. “It was ugly. A few people died. We’ll see if the man in silk pajamas gives him the proper sentence or a traffic citation.”
“You know, I’m curious about what happened to the Murphy’s, if they’re hurt or not.”
“You and everyone else,” she said. “We’ve been getting so many witness accounts, and so far they’ve all been bogus. All I know is what I saw when I got there.”
“I didn’t know you were one of the responders,” I said.
“Yeah. Something about the place was off from the moment I walked in. I found heavy items in placed they should not have been in. The toolbox was not in the garage but on the second story. A disassembled snowblower lay scattered everywhere in pieces. The oven door was on their bed. Frank Murphy was not the strongest guy in the world, either. For him to cause the kind of property damage I saw doesn’t make a lot of sense. At the risk of sounding crazy, inexplicable things happened when I was there.”
“Like what?”
“I was under the impression that something was playing a trick on me. Electrical outlets sparked a few times out of nowhere. The ceiling fan would go from still to spinning when I looked up at it. Books would fall off of the shelves. A volume on black magic, of all things, almost hit the top of my head when I walked on by. Another book about fairies collapsed with it.”
“So the home intruder set up a bunch of weird diversions,” I said. “I’ve heard of that before. These killers or kidnappers want the victims to think there was more than one of them. It’s so their account’s disputed in court.”
I’ll tell you right now,” she said, “we didn’t find any outside DNA.”
“So it’s a case of family annihilation,” I said as I took a long swig of my beverage. “I don’t know if you can substantiate the facts, but a few people have said that Emily had a big life insurance policy. Frank knew about. He may have been using steroids and having an affair, and that could have contributed to-“
It occurred to me that she eyed me with suspicion, as though I was digging too deep. I could also tell she regretted letting information about the forensic results slip.
She stood up and stared at me with a flash of anger in her eyes.
“I thought you wanted to piece something back together with me,” she said. “I didn’t know you wanted to play armchair investigator like every true crime fan. You know, your parents were kind. I wish you’d follow their example. I’ll let you get the bill.”
She walked back to her vehicle and I knew it would be a while before we conversed again.
Later that night, I stared out my window at the Murphy home. I saw a star shoot across the sky, and it almost seemed ready to plummet into the side of their house.
4
The next evening, I took a walk around the suburb. I spotted a thin line of dried red fluid along a path which led into the woods.
I was attempting to get in some movement to get my mind off of the events of the day before. Negativity and self-deprecation were all-consuming. I felt the need for a long saunter to try and release some of the meandering and pessimistic energy I accrued.
When I saw the carmine ribbon along the dark soil, a sense of worry filled me. I was not that far removed from a cul-de-sac with palatial manors a block away. There was no way I could speculate on me being the first to see it.
Could it be a hint where they are? I thought.
The notion seemed absurd, a reach.
I had read in the local newspaper that there was an uptick in bobcat sightings due to recent wildfires. The animals relocated during prior summers. I reasoned it could have been a house pet which became a victim after it got snatched away into the overgrowth.
I followed it, and the uneven road of red stretched on past many bushes and over logs. A shrill chirping in the background became louder. I moved between two conifers with petrified wood and found myself in a part of the forest I had never been in.
There were so many branches that it blacked out the falling sun. Ahead of me was a clearing. A swarm of gnats and mosquitos descended upon it. The sea of insects soared together in chaotic unison as a wave among the sedges and lichen.
I looked towards the right of the meadow and saw a ramshackle tree house. I trailed the red line towards it. I peered in through one of the windows and saw a statue of a woman with wings. I knew she was not an angel. There was no halo, nor were her organs of flight feathery, but rather they were thin and bat-like.
I entered the place knowing the danger I was putting myself in. I had tracked mud in and was oblivious to the incriminating actions I partook in. I was trespassing and risking stumbling into whoever may have owned the land. My curiosity got the better of me and caused me to keep moving forward.
The room was sparse but decorated. The walls had carvings of men and women, also with wings. Their bodies held yogic-like positions as they reached out to one another mid-air.
A piece of parchment with a few words sat in the corner. I picked it up and read it:
‘Humans are the greatest living beings to play tricks on. Especially when they go through a time of drought and extreme cold.’
I sat it down where I found it, unsure of what to make of it.
I touched the central figure’s neck. The chiseling was not only cold, but below freezing, as though I had submerged my hand in a polar pool.
The noise of some kind of bird attempting to escape a confined space reverberated below me.
Something brushed against my leg. I looked down and saw an army of glow bugs float up between the cracks, and they circled around me. They were like dragon flies. At the time I had labeled them as such, but in reality their shapes were far too humanoid.
I walked back home. I went to bed and slept. I was still perturbed at the wine-colored avenue and cabin.
I awoke in the middle of the night after something tapped at my walls from the outside. I peered out and saw the Murphy home, and observed how the blinds over their casements were wide open. A hive of mites filled every inch of the interior.
5
I found the decomposing body of a chipmunk stuffed into the tailpipe of my vehicle the next day.
This horrified me, because the deliberation of the act was too evident to ignore. While I did have a surveillance camera on my porch, the coverage of my vehicle was non-existent. I calmed myself down by thinking it was likely a tempestuous child. I retrieved a pair of medical gloves and disposed of the creature before going on with the errand. The rotting body had a horrible smell. It was like an onion left out in humidity for days, and my stomach turned as I sealed it off in the garbage with the lid.
The next morning, I looked in my closet. Some of my favorite shirts had disintegrated. Holes and patches of destroyed fabric littered them. I found it odd, and even searched on-line for possible answers before I decided it had to be a moth infestation. I sprayed lavender. Information on a website statEd that was a cure-all, but the problem persisted. It bothered me that I had not seen a single aphid, but I pushed that concern away.
A few days afterward, when I had tossed my disheveled pieces of attire, the power in my house went out. This was not such an unusual occurrence during the heavy winter months. For it to occur in the summer was strange.
It was a rolling blackout. Once my house had electricity again, I noticed how someone moved items around.
Something turned my kitchen table on its side and stuffed into a part of the kitchen I would have never placed it in.
I grabbed a butcher knife and did a sweep of the premises, and I did not find anything. There were no footprints or signs of anything else tampered with. When I got to the second story, birds nested along the tree tops, and the repugnant odor of fish attacked me.
My allergies became insufferable over the next month. Nothing purchased over the counter which helped it.
6
I went to the beach on an overcast day. After roughly half a mile of walking, I saw an illustration someone had drawn in the sand with a stick. It was of a being with airfoils.
A light precipitation had fallen earlier. As I trailed along the former part of the sand, a glint in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked out at the water and saw what appeared to be a light blue outline of wings beneath the surface.
A phosphorescent wall of creatures surrounded me.
As the days march on, I know I am stalked by something I cannot rebel against, let alone have any agency or autonomy over. My pillowcases have shredded, the pipes in my basement have burst, and someone left me a gift at my front door. When I opened it, I saw mice scurry away. It was a book, and it was one about the history of fairies.
I picked it up and had to blow the dust off of it. Someone had stolen it from a musty subterranean chamber and brought it here.
I theorized that it was Samantha, passive aggressive with her disappointment in me. Yet I flip through its pages and find it all too familiar. I cannot help but wonder if this is a sign of something far more dangerous.
2023.05.28 13:55 Colt_Leasure The family next door disappeared. The answer to their vanishing is in the woods.
I live in a suburb surrounded by forest. My house is in a row of other properties built next to a tree line. The neighborhood was always quiet. The sounds of crickets, birds, and sight of black bears were routine on most summer days.
The scenic area was something I was always grateful for. I lived completely alone since the death of my parents. An accidental fire took both of their lives. Once I collected my inheritance, I relocated to a much more peaceful region. I had always fantasized about moving there.
I tried to start a relationship with Samantha. I had gone to High School with her sixteen years before. She had gone on to become a respected Detective. My attempt at something long lasting with her failed. She was too career oriented. I was reeling from grief. Focusing on building something meaningful with her was a pipe dream.
Things around my community changed once the Murphy family went missing.
The first sign that something was off on that Wednesday was how their blinds had closed. Their silver Chrysler remained parked in the driveway.
A tennis instructor at the country club noticed the wife of that house did not show up for the program. He called their number to make sure everything was alright. When no one responded, he notified the authorities. Rumors abounded immediately among the home owners association about an alleged affair. The gossip only furthered when the married couple and their three kids were not found in the abode.
I watched from my balcony as the patrolmen roped the place off with caution tape. The domicile was a three story building with brick chimney’s and a few peaked roofs in the style of English towers. They were beige, light blue and crimson.
On the morning of the Murphy’s desertion of society, the architecture became a hollow image. It was one that was once filled with activity and life.
The law did what they could. Any success they may have had in the investigation was secret. A few months passed by and they removed the caution tape.
I followed the on-line police logs. The weather was pristine and clear the day they vanished. The fact that there were no witnesses to what direction they may have gone disturbed me.
I had heard how the man, Frank Murphy, had a bit of a temper and always had a bourbon in hand. I had heard mutual friends describe him as an alcoholic in denial of his servitude to liquor. He was an indignant individual who knew no true repercussions for his behavior. He always had bail money from a software company he founded and sold a long time ago.
I was never close to that family, but I peered out at their vacant house far more than I ever had. I was in need of an answer. What could have happened?
*
I called Samantha one evening as I sat on my bed, wondering how she would respond to my reaching out. We were never argumentative or on bad terms. I still worried about her reaction, and hoped it would not be a dismissive one.
I heard her say hello. Her voice still impressed me. I had almost forgotten how silky her tone was. I knew it could change to a much firmer pitch when she was interviewing a suspect.
“Hi, Sam. I’d like to know if you’d be free tomorrow for a cup of coffee. We can go to that place, The Bean Field, off Pond road. It’s been a while and I know you have a lot to tell me about what’s new in your life.”
There was a pause on the other end, and for a second a bout of anxiety hit me. I judged my own words as robotic, stilted, and sure to push her away. I reasoned she was summoning an excuse to get out of having to interact with me. How dare I presume she would even entertain the notion of having a meeting.
“That sounds great,” she said. “Tomorrow is my day off, luckily for you. I’m in the middle of an incident right now. It’s a five car pile-up about forty minutes from where you live. I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When she hung up, I was triumphant. I looked at our old text conversations. I realized we had not been in communication with each other for over twelve months. Now was my opportunity to reconcile that gap of unintended avoidance. I knew it would be an undeserved opportunity.
*
I sat outside of the cafe the next morning at a black metal table. I had a view of rolling hills dotted with trees. A highway with multitudinous shrubberies sat on either side of it. I sipped a piccolo latte while waiting for her.
When she arrived and stepped out of her hatchback in the parking lot, her appearance floored me. She had not dressed up for our supposed date, but that did not make a difference. She had arrived from the gym and wore shorts and a top set. She donned a gray and green hoodie.
She sat across from me and reached for the menu.
“Can you go to the front and order me avocado toast?” Samantha asked. “I’ll also take a mocha with a few shots of espresso. Please.”
I did exactly that. When I returned with her items, she apologized for consuming her meal in less than two minutes.
“I hadn’t eaten since five PM yesterday,” she said between sips.
“I understand,” I said. “I doubt you ever have a consistent schedule anymore.”
“You’re right, but that’s why I have to enjoy my free time when I can.”
We settled into talking about what had happened since we last saw each other. I referenced my trying to learn another language (French) with the hopes of moving to Europe or Canada.
After fifteen minutes of small talk, I asked her about work, but I did so with caution. It started with me wondering about what the call she was on when we were on the phone was about.
“A drunk driver blew a stop sign and hit two other vehicles,” she said. “It was ugly. A few people died. We’ll see if the man in silk pajamas gives him the proper sentence or a traffic citation.”
“You know, I’m curious about what happened to the Murphy’s, if they’re hurt or not.”
“You and everyone else,” she said. “We’ve been getting so many witness accounts, and so far they’ve all been bogus. All I know is what I saw when I got there.”
“I didn’t know you were one of the responders,” I said.
“Yeah. Something about the place was off from the moment I walked in. I found heavy items in placed they should not have been in. The toolbox was not in the garage but on the second story. A disassembled snowblower lay scattered everywhere in pieces. The oven door was on their bed. Frank Murphy was not the strongest guy in the world, either. For him to cause the kind of property damage I saw doesn’t make a lot of sense. At the risk of sounding crazy, inexplicable things happened when I was there.”
“Like what?”
“I was under the impression that something was playing a trick on me. Electrical outlets sparked a few times out of nowhere. The ceiling fan would go from still to spinning when I looked up at it. Books would fall off of the shelves. A volume on black magic, of all things, almost hit the top of my head when I walked on by. Another book about fairies collapsed with it.”
“So the home intruder set up a bunch of weird diversions,” I said. “I’ve heard of that before. These killers or kidnappers want the victims to think there was more than one of them. It’s so their account’s disputed in court.”
I’ll tell you right now,” she said, “we didn’t find any outside DNA.”
“So it’s a case of family annihilation,” I said as I took a long swig of my beverage. “I don’t know if you can substantiate the facts, but a few people have said that Emily had a big life insurance policy. Frank knew about. He may have been using steroids and having an affair, and that could have contributed to-“
It occurred to me that she eyed me with suspicion, as though I was digging too deep. I could also tell she regretted letting information about the forensic results slip.
She stood up and stared at me with a flash of anger in her eyes.
“I thought you wanted to piece something back together with me,” she said. “I didn’t know you wanted to play armchair investigator like every true crime fan. You know, your parents were kind. I wish you’d follow their example. I’ll let you get the bill.”
She walked back to her vehicle and I knew it would be a while before we conversed again.
Later that night, I stared out my window at the Murphy home. I saw a star shoot across the sky, and it almost seemed ready to plummet into the side of their house.
*
The next evening, I took a walk around the suburb. I spotted a thin line of dried red fluid along a path which led into the woods.
I was attempting to get in some movement to get my mind off of the events of the day before. Negativity and self-deprecation were all-consuming. I felt the need for a long saunter to try and release some of the meandering and pessimistic energy I accrued.
When I saw the carmine ribbon along the dark soil, a sense of worry filled me. I was not that far removed from a cul-de-sac with palatial manors a block away. There was no way I could speculate on me being the first to see it.
Could it be a hint where they are? I thought.
The notion seemed absurd, a reach.
I had read in the local newspaper that there was an uptick in bobcat sightings due to recent wildfires. The animals relocated during prior summers. I reasoned it could have been a house pet which became a victim after it got snatched away into the overgrowth.
I followed it, and the uneven road of red stretched on past many bushes and over logs. A shrill chirping in the background became louder. I moved between two conifers with petrified wood and found myself in a part of the forest I had never been in.
There were so many branches that it blacked out the falling sun. Ahead of me was a clearing. A swarm of gnats and mosquitos descended upon it. The sea of insects soared together in chaotic unison as a wave among the sedges and lichen.
I looked towards the right of the meadow and saw a ramshackle tree house. I trailed the red line towards it. I peered in through one of the windows and saw a statue of a woman with wings. I knew she was not an angel. There was no halo, nor were her organs of flight feathery, but rather they were thin and bat-like.
I entered the place knowing the danger I was putting myself in. I had tracked mud in and was oblivious to the incriminating actions I partook in. I was trespassing and risking stumbling into whoever may have owned the land. My curiosity got the better of me and caused me to keep moving forward.
The room was sparse but decorated. The walls had carvings of men and women, also with wings. Their bodies held yogic-like positions as they reached out to one another mid-air.
A piece of parchment with a few words sat in the corner. I picked it up and read it:
‘Humans are the greatest living beings to play tricks on. Especially when they go through a time of drought and extreme cold.’
I sat it down where I found it, unsure of what to make of it.
I touched the central figure’s neck. The chiseling was not only cold, but below freezing, as though I had submerged my hand in a polar pool.
The noise of some kind of bird attempting to escape a confined space reverberated below me.
Something brushed against my leg. I looked down and saw an army of glow bugs float up between the cracks, and they circled around me. They were like dragon flies. At the time I had labeled them as such, but in reality their shapes were far too humanoid.
I walked back home. I went to bed and slept. I was still perturbed at the wine-colored avenue and cabin.
I awoke in the middle of the night after something tapped at my walls from the outside. I peered out and saw the Murphy home, and observed how the blinds over their casements were wide open. A hive of mites filled every inch of the interior.
*
I found the decomposing body of a chipmunk stuffed into the tailpipe of my vehicle the next day.
This horrified me, because the deliberation of the act was too evident to ignore. While I did have a surveillance camera on my porch, the coverage of my vehicle was non-existent. I calmed myself down by thinking it was likely a tempestuous child. I retrieved a pair of medical gloves and disposed of the creature before going on with the errand. The rotting body had a horrible smell. It was like an onion left out in humidity for days, and my stomach turned as I sealed it off in the garbage with the lid.
The next morning, I looked in my closet. Some of my favorite shirts had disintegrated. Holes and patches of destroyed fabric littered them. I found it odd, and even searched on-line for possible answers before I decided it had to be a moth infestation. I sprayed lavender. Information on a website statEd that was a cure-all, but the problem persisted. It bothered me that I had not seen a single aphid, but I pushed that concern away.
A few days afterward, when I had tossed my disheveled pieces of attire, the power in my house went out. This was not such an unusual occurrence during the heavy winter months. For it to occur in the summer was strange.
It was a rolling blackout. Once my house had electricity again, I noticed how someone moved items around.
Something turned my kitchen table on its side and stuffed into a part of the kitchen I would have never placed it in.
I grabbed a butcher knife and did a sweep of the premises, and I did not find anything. There were no footprints or signs of anything else tampered with. When I got to the second story, birds nested along the tree tops, and the repugnant odor of fish attacked me.
My allergies became insufferable over the next month. Nothing purchased over the counter which helped it.
*
I went to the beach on an overcast day. After roughly half a mile of walking, I saw an illustration someone had drawn in the sand with a stick. It was of a being with airfoils.
A light precipitation had fallen earlier. As I trailed along the former part of the sand, a glint in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked out at the water and saw what appeared to be a light blue outline of wings beneath the surface.
A phosphorescent wall of creatures surrounded me.
As the days march on, I know I am stalked by something I cannot rebel against, let alone have any agency or autonomy over. My pillowcases have shredded, the pipes in my basement have burst, and someone left me a gift at my front door. When I opened it, I saw mice scurry away. It was a book, and it was one about the history of fairies.
I picked it up and had to blow the dust off of it. Someone had stolen it from a musty subterranean chamber and brought it here.
I theorized that it was Samantha, passive aggressive with her disappointment in me. Yet I flip through its pages and find it all too familiar. I cannot help but wonder if this is a sign of something far more dangerous.
submitted by Colt_Leasure to nosleep [link] [comments]
The scenic area was something I was always grateful for. I lived completely alone since the death of my parents. An accidental fire took both of their lives. Once I collected my inheritance, I relocated to a much more peaceful region. I had always fantasized about moving there.
I tried to start a relationship with Samantha. I had gone to High School with her sixteen years before. She had gone on to become a respected Detective. My attempt at something long lasting with her failed. She was too career oriented. I was reeling from grief. Focusing on building something meaningful with her was a pipe dream.
Things around my community changed once the Murphy family went missing.
The first sign that something was off on that Wednesday was how their blinds had closed. Their silver Chrysler remained parked in the driveway.
A tennis instructor at the country club noticed the wife of that house did not show up for the program. He called their number to make sure everything was alright. When no one responded, he notified the authorities. Rumors abounded immediately among the home owners association about an alleged affair. The gossip only furthered when the married couple and their three kids were not found in the abode.
I watched from my balcony as the patrolmen roped the place off with caution tape. The domicile was a three story building with brick chimney’s and a few peaked roofs in the style of English towers. They were beige, light blue and crimson.
On the morning of the Murphy’s desertion of society, the architecture became a hollow image. It was one that was once filled with activity and life.
The law did what they could. Any success they may have had in the investigation was secret. A few months passed by and they removed the caution tape.
I followed the on-line police logs. The weather was pristine and clear the day they vanished. The fact that there were no witnesses to what direction they may have gone disturbed me.
I had heard how the man, Frank Murphy, had a bit of a temper and always had a bourbon in hand. I had heard mutual friends describe him as an alcoholic in denial of his servitude to liquor. He was an indignant individual who knew no true repercussions for his behavior. He always had bail money from a software company he founded and sold a long time ago.
I was never close to that family, but I peered out at their vacant house far more than I ever had. I was in need of an answer. What could have happened?
*
I called Samantha one evening as I sat on my bed, wondering how she would respond to my reaching out. We were never argumentative or on bad terms. I still worried about her reaction, and hoped it would not be a dismissive one.
I heard her say hello. Her voice still impressed me. I had almost forgotten how silky her tone was. I knew it could change to a much firmer pitch when she was interviewing a suspect.
“Hi, Sam. I’d like to know if you’d be free tomorrow for a cup of coffee. We can go to that place, The Bean Field, off Pond road. It’s been a while and I know you have a lot to tell me about what’s new in your life.”
There was a pause on the other end, and for a second a bout of anxiety hit me. I judged my own words as robotic, stilted, and sure to push her away. I reasoned she was summoning an excuse to get out of having to interact with me. How dare I presume she would even entertain the notion of having a meeting.
“That sounds great,” she said. “Tomorrow is my day off, luckily for you. I’m in the middle of an incident right now. It’s a five car pile-up about forty minutes from where you live. I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When she hung up, I was triumphant. I looked at our old text conversations. I realized we had not been in communication with each other for over twelve months. Now was my opportunity to reconcile that gap of unintended avoidance. I knew it would be an undeserved opportunity.
*
I sat outside of the cafe the next morning at a black metal table. I had a view of rolling hills dotted with trees. A highway with multitudinous shrubberies sat on either side of it. I sipped a piccolo latte while waiting for her.
When she arrived and stepped out of her hatchback in the parking lot, her appearance floored me. She had not dressed up for our supposed date, but that did not make a difference. She had arrived from the gym and wore shorts and a top set. She donned a gray and green hoodie.
She sat across from me and reached for the menu.
“Can you go to the front and order me avocado toast?” Samantha asked. “I’ll also take a mocha with a few shots of espresso. Please.”
I did exactly that. When I returned with her items, she apologized for consuming her meal in less than two minutes.
“I hadn’t eaten since five PM yesterday,” she said between sips.
“I understand,” I said. “I doubt you ever have a consistent schedule anymore.”
“You’re right, but that’s why I have to enjoy my free time when I can.”
We settled into talking about what had happened since we last saw each other. I referenced my trying to learn another language (French) with the hopes of moving to Europe or Canada.
After fifteen minutes of small talk, I asked her about work, but I did so with caution. It started with me wondering about what the call she was on when we were on the phone was about.
“A drunk driver blew a stop sign and hit two other vehicles,” she said. “It was ugly. A few people died. We’ll see if the man in silk pajamas gives him the proper sentence or a traffic citation.”
“You know, I’m curious about what happened to the Murphy’s, if they’re hurt or not.”
“You and everyone else,” she said. “We’ve been getting so many witness accounts, and so far they’ve all been bogus. All I know is what I saw when I got there.”
“I didn’t know you were one of the responders,” I said.
“Yeah. Something about the place was off from the moment I walked in. I found heavy items in placed they should not have been in. The toolbox was not in the garage but on the second story. A disassembled snowblower lay scattered everywhere in pieces. The oven door was on their bed. Frank Murphy was not the strongest guy in the world, either. For him to cause the kind of property damage I saw doesn’t make a lot of sense. At the risk of sounding crazy, inexplicable things happened when I was there.”
“Like what?”
“I was under the impression that something was playing a trick on me. Electrical outlets sparked a few times out of nowhere. The ceiling fan would go from still to spinning when I looked up at it. Books would fall off of the shelves. A volume on black magic, of all things, almost hit the top of my head when I walked on by. Another book about fairies collapsed with it.”
“So the home intruder set up a bunch of weird diversions,” I said. “I’ve heard of that before. These killers or kidnappers want the victims to think there was more than one of them. It’s so their account’s disputed in court.”
I’ll tell you right now,” she said, “we didn’t find any outside DNA.”
“So it’s a case of family annihilation,” I said as I took a long swig of my beverage. “I don’t know if you can substantiate the facts, but a few people have said that Emily had a big life insurance policy. Frank knew about. He may have been using steroids and having an affair, and that could have contributed to-“
It occurred to me that she eyed me with suspicion, as though I was digging too deep. I could also tell she regretted letting information about the forensic results slip.
She stood up and stared at me with a flash of anger in her eyes.
“I thought you wanted to piece something back together with me,” she said. “I didn’t know you wanted to play armchair investigator like every true crime fan. You know, your parents were kind. I wish you’d follow their example. I’ll let you get the bill.”
She walked back to her vehicle and I knew it would be a while before we conversed again.
Later that night, I stared out my window at the Murphy home. I saw a star shoot across the sky, and it almost seemed ready to plummet into the side of their house.
*
The next evening, I took a walk around the suburb. I spotted a thin line of dried red fluid along a path which led into the woods.
I was attempting to get in some movement to get my mind off of the events of the day before. Negativity and self-deprecation were all-consuming. I felt the need for a long saunter to try and release some of the meandering and pessimistic energy I accrued.
When I saw the carmine ribbon along the dark soil, a sense of worry filled me. I was not that far removed from a cul-de-sac with palatial manors a block away. There was no way I could speculate on me being the first to see it.
Could it be a hint where they are? I thought.
The notion seemed absurd, a reach.
I had read in the local newspaper that there was an uptick in bobcat sightings due to recent wildfires. The animals relocated during prior summers. I reasoned it could have been a house pet which became a victim after it got snatched away into the overgrowth.
I followed it, and the uneven road of red stretched on past many bushes and over logs. A shrill chirping in the background became louder. I moved between two conifers with petrified wood and found myself in a part of the forest I had never been in.
There were so many branches that it blacked out the falling sun. Ahead of me was a clearing. A swarm of gnats and mosquitos descended upon it. The sea of insects soared together in chaotic unison as a wave among the sedges and lichen.
I looked towards the right of the meadow and saw a ramshackle tree house. I trailed the red line towards it. I peered in through one of the windows and saw a statue of a woman with wings. I knew she was not an angel. There was no halo, nor were her organs of flight feathery, but rather they were thin and bat-like.
I entered the place knowing the danger I was putting myself in. I had tracked mud in and was oblivious to the incriminating actions I partook in. I was trespassing and risking stumbling into whoever may have owned the land. My curiosity got the better of me and caused me to keep moving forward.
The room was sparse but decorated. The walls had carvings of men and women, also with wings. Their bodies held yogic-like positions as they reached out to one another mid-air.
A piece of parchment with a few words sat in the corner. I picked it up and read it:
‘Humans are the greatest living beings to play tricks on. Especially when they go through a time of drought and extreme cold.’
I sat it down where I found it, unsure of what to make of it.
I touched the central figure’s neck. The chiseling was not only cold, but below freezing, as though I had submerged my hand in a polar pool.
The noise of some kind of bird attempting to escape a confined space reverberated below me.
Something brushed against my leg. I looked down and saw an army of glow bugs float up between the cracks, and they circled around me. They were like dragon flies. At the time I had labeled them as such, but in reality their shapes were far too humanoid.
I walked back home. I went to bed and slept. I was still perturbed at the wine-colored avenue and cabin.
I awoke in the middle of the night after something tapped at my walls from the outside. I peered out and saw the Murphy home, and observed how the blinds over their casements were wide open. A hive of mites filled every inch of the interior.
*
I found the decomposing body of a chipmunk stuffed into the tailpipe of my vehicle the next day.
This horrified me, because the deliberation of the act was too evident to ignore. While I did have a surveillance camera on my porch, the coverage of my vehicle was non-existent. I calmed myself down by thinking it was likely a tempestuous child. I retrieved a pair of medical gloves and disposed of the creature before going on with the errand. The rotting body had a horrible smell. It was like an onion left out in humidity for days, and my stomach turned as I sealed it off in the garbage with the lid.
The next morning, I looked in my closet. Some of my favorite shirts had disintegrated. Holes and patches of destroyed fabric littered them. I found it odd, and even searched on-line for possible answers before I decided it had to be a moth infestation. I sprayed lavender. Information on a website statEd that was a cure-all, but the problem persisted. It bothered me that I had not seen a single aphid, but I pushed that concern away.
A few days afterward, when I had tossed my disheveled pieces of attire, the power in my house went out. This was not such an unusual occurrence during the heavy winter months. For it to occur in the summer was strange.
It was a rolling blackout. Once my house had electricity again, I noticed how someone moved items around.
Something turned my kitchen table on its side and stuffed into a part of the kitchen I would have never placed it in.
I grabbed a butcher knife and did a sweep of the premises, and I did not find anything. There were no footprints or signs of anything else tampered with. When I got to the second story, birds nested along the tree tops, and the repugnant odor of fish attacked me.
My allergies became insufferable over the next month. Nothing purchased over the counter which helped it.
*
I went to the beach on an overcast day. After roughly half a mile of walking, I saw an illustration someone had drawn in the sand with a stick. It was of a being with airfoils.
A light precipitation had fallen earlier. As I trailed along the former part of the sand, a glint in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked out at the water and saw what appeared to be a light blue outline of wings beneath the surface.
A phosphorescent wall of creatures surrounded me.
As the days march on, I know I am stalked by something I cannot rebel against, let alone have any agency or autonomy over. My pillowcases have shredded, the pipes in my basement have burst, and someone left me a gift at my front door. When I opened it, I saw mice scurry away. It was a book, and it was one about the history of fairies.
I picked it up and had to blow the dust off of it. Someone had stolen it from a musty subterranean chamber and brought it here.
I theorized that it was Samantha, passive aggressive with her disappointment in me. Yet I flip through its pages and find it all too familiar. I cannot help but wonder if this is a sign of something far more dangerous.
2023.05.28 11:40 workoutgyaan Does Toothpaste That Whitens Work? Examining the Results, Ingredients, and Efficacy
 | Welcome to the glittering world of cleaning your teeth! It's where smiles shine brighter than a Hollywood red carpet and white teeth rule. But among all the different ways to whiten teeth, one question stands out like a diamond: Does whitening toothpaste work? So, my interested friend, put on your seatbelt and get ready for a tasty adventure as we go deep into the world of whitening toothpaste and find out what's going on with those bright smiles. submitted by workoutgyaan to WorkoutGyaan [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/vodza1hj3l2b1.jpg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28bf9c4f321d393419c201408988d991ceb15b96 So, grab your toothbrush and come with us on this trip to teach you something. Let's discover if the magic behind the tube can make your smile shine brighter than a shooting star on a beautiful night. Are you ready? Let's brush and see if whitening toothpaste works. A. Hook/Opening statement: Imagine this: you're standing in front of a mirror, smiling your best, but all you see are yellow shades and coffee spots that remind you of last week's caffeine overdose. It's a pain. Don't worry, fellow smile-lovers, because we'll learn the truth about whitening toothpaste. Get ready to know dental care and discover if this toothpaste is as magical as it seems. B. A short explanation of what the piece is about: This article aims to find out the mysterious world of toothpaste cleaning. With so many goods on store shelves that claim they are the best to get a whiter smile, it's time to figure out what's true and what's just marketing hype. We'll discuss the science behind whitening toothpaste, its ingredients, and how well it works. This will allow you to make intelligent choices about your oral care practice. C. Summary of the main point in a thesis statement: In this piece, we'll talk about how well whitening toothpaste works, what it's made of, and what it does. Even though it might sound like a magic potion that will give you a Hollywood smile, we'll look into the claims and see if bleaching toothpaste lives up to its high reputation. So, be ready to go on a journey where science meets humor, myths are busted, and the truth about whitening toothpaste is revealed. Get ready to smile confidently because we're about to answer the most critical question: Does whitening toothpaste work? Continue reading |
2023.05.28 10:51 XXBEERUSXX Respect Vampire Hunter D (vol 3)
"For that display of skill you get my name. I’m the Vampire Hunter D. Remember that, should you live."
Feats in bold are when D is in his full vampire form.
Throwing
Combat
submitted by XXBEERUSXX to CasualRespectThreads [link] [comments]
Feats in bold are when D is in his full vampire form.
Strength
Sword- Cut a werewolf which could reject bullets, and made it unable to regenerate 1
- Blocks a shrike-blade thrown by Rei-Ginsei while he was on his horse, this weapon could topple a stone monolith that weighed several tons 1
- Deflected 3 of these shrike blades again that were faster than ever 1
- Split a giant's skull 1
- Slices Gimlet apart while he was moving 300mph 1
- Likely destroys the coagulated form of an aura charging at him that smashed through a door 2
- Destroys that aura again, right after it badly injured him, though D was amped by excess energy here 2
- Cuts off the hand of a vampire and stabs him, while using his left hand, though the vampire was injured before this 2
- Cuts an adhesive liquid that could hold "behemoths" to shreds 2
- Easily slices Corma and his iron club in half which can knock through a stone wall and is stronger than a high-caliber rifle's slug 2
- Cracks the carapace of a beast jumping towards him that was impervious to bullets 3
- His partially unsheathed sword alone blocked Corma's iron club swing which can knock through a stone wall and is stronger than a high-caliber rifle's slug 2
- Deflected a 10 feet long oak table that was thrown at him 2
Throwing
- See Needles section below for more
- Throws a foot long wood needle at FTE speeds, igniting it 1
Durability
- Thrown into a pit 70 feet deep, and landed feet-first unharmed 1
- Resists the pressure and density of the Sacred Ancestor which was several orders of magnitude above the density of a black hole that was "infinitely compacted" 2
- Sent flying by energy that destroyed hundreds of tons of rock, and is immobilized. Hours later, D is fine 2
- Survived Lefty's burst of energy which turned a crumbled universe inside out, which sent D flying back to his universe after making a rip in the dimension, atomizing his horse 2
- Takes a hit to the face from a mass of mental energy that bent steel beams, then another hit from it, and survives it because he was amped by Lefty's energy he got from the 4 elements 2
- Gets hit and tied up by a whip that split into 8 parts, and isn't hurt 1
- Survives thrown caltrops that were very strong, making his cheeks bleed then took 2 shots from a magnum gun that pierced through his chest. D is unaffected by this 2
- Stabbed in the abdomen and stomach, and fell to one knee, after it was redirected back at him 1
- Doesn't care about a wooden spear piercing his chest, and killed a vampire right after 2
- Unaffected by a flaming needle that scorched his flesh 1
- Fends off flames from an ultracompact atomic grenade 2
- Unaffected by a beam that converted the floor beneath him to steam and ions, fired by a laser gun 2
- Completely unaffected by an aura that caused every cell in a man's body to feel a primeval fear so great it made him unable to move 2
- After a Vampire entered his mind and sent illusory enemies into it, D parried the illusory attacks and killed the Vampire in his mind, removing the illusion spell. This is described as him parrying a psychological attack 2
- Caught in a mental attack that made illusions of him being attacked and of him being in an icy plain, then used his will to break out of it 2
Speed
ReactionCombat
- Slashed a werewolf jumping at him at around Mach 0.5 in less than a fiftieth of a second before anyone could react 1
- Throws a foot long wood needle at FTE speeds enough for it to ignite, then stops it when it was thrown back at equal speed 1
- Dodged a laser made of light after hearing the cannon activate, then twisted through the air to dodge more of them, shot with unerring accuracy 1
- Said to be able to swing his sword faster than a laser beam 1
- Uses his sword to block a shrike-blade thrown by Rei-Ginsei while he was on his horse 1
- Deflected 3 shrike blades 1
- Deflected 3 FTE shrike blades again, this time they were far faster than ever 1
- Drew his blade with "lightning speed", and dodged a giant machete swipe, moving yards in an instant with a leap 1
- Swung his blade at FTE speeds, killing Golem 1
- Tags Gimlet while he was moving 300mph (134.1m/s) 1
- Equal in speed to an enemy that dodged D's thrown needles that sank into walls 2
- Deflected iron tacks fired from a rivet gun 2
- Avoids getting hit by Nolt Marcus' staff. Nolt can spin his staff around at the speed of light 3
- Absorbs incoming rays of light with his left hand 3
- Blocks multiple bolts of lightning fired by Borgoff's corpse 3
- Moved "lightning fast" to stab the Count 1
- Sprinted fast enough to save a woman from splintery chunks of a door sent flying by a concussive blast, and moved her away. (An illustration of the feat) 2
Left Hand
- Placed a protective charm on Doris' vampire bite marks. When Count Lee saw this charm, it made him run away 1
- Hypnotized the mayor by touching his face, forcing him to confess his true plans 1
- [Tracked the location of an enemy 400 yards away by scent(https://pastebin.com/cwYfXviY) 2
- Can see and hear what's going on in the surroundings even if Lefty is still inside D's palm 2
- Scanned the inside of a Shelter, detecting an infinitesimally small gap D could fit his sword in 3
- [Limit] Lefty's healing powers only worked on D, it can't help others 3
- Turned earth and wind power to fire, then life-force, which was pumped into D, healing a stab wound in his heart from a stake over time 1
- After D gathered elements of wood, fire, wind and other elements, Lefty turned a whole dimension inside out to escape it, causing an energy burst that made a rip in the dimension and overlapped with other dimensions and consumed objects like a black hole, and people in different time periods 2
- Generates blue flames to heat up D's caltrop, which D uses to cauterize a wound 3
- While severed, Lefty walked back to D's dead body and reattached himself to his arm 1
- Bit a stake that was jutting from D's chest and tossed it away 1
- Cuts apart tentacles that restrained D 2
- Caught a sword by the tip with his mouth 2
- His teeth caught Caroline's wooden stake made from a tree branch which almost stabbed D, and Caroline's superhuman strength couldn't overpower Lefty 3
- Grabs a tree branch swung at him and spits it out at Caroline, piercing her abdomen 3
- Absorbed a giant swarm of spiders that was too much for D's sword to stop 1
- Absorbed a lot of psychic juice, weakening Lefty. This psychic juice refers to an aura that paralyzed a man with fear. Absorbing it seemed to make a flash of light 2
- Sucks in a pillar of flame 2
- Absorbs incoming rays of light that can burn a hole through a man 3
Random Abilities
- Changed the vectors of a whip strike to reflect it back at his enemy 1
- Touched Doris' shoulder and made her lose consciousness instantly 1
- Went intangible to avoid getting hurt by a whip's energy 1
- His mere gaze caused horses to stop moving, and when the riders were trying to attack, D's glare caused the horses to rear up, throwing the riders to the ground 1
- Controls 3 mermaids' actions by biting their necks 1
- Somehow travelled to a place that should have taken him an hour, undetected by vampires and radars 1
- Very likely did something to his horse, making it faster than a sheriff's horse that should have been 2 mph faster than the average cyborg horse 2
- Magically caused a wound on his hand by sliding his finger across it, then closed it up 2
- Repelled a density greater than a black hole's back to his target and changed the Sacred Ancestor's form, causing him to manifest a body similar to D's, and focused all his physical and mental energy into his blade 2
- Turned into a black wind to slip through an opening 2
- The hem of his coat spread like a large pair of wings just as he was about to hit the ground, slowing his fall 3
- While in water, D formed a carapace around him, deflecting lightning from a beast that had more than half a million volts 2
- This aura emanated from every inch of him, and freezes others by assaulting their deepest psyche 2
- Made Lina, a regular human feel very afraid though she could still move a little, implying D can control the aura's potency 2
- His aura made Rei-Ginsei and his goons unable to move even a finger while D was a medium distance away from them 1
- Activated the same aura again, this time with several times more power, then turned it off 1
- Paralyzed Larmica, Garou and Lee 1
- Froze nearly a dozen horses with fear without affecting their riders 2
- Removed the emotions of desire and envy from a crowd, replacing it with fear 2
- Affects Fern, another vampire 2
- Acted like an anaesthetic that violated a girl to her bone marrow 3
- Stabs Count Magnus Lee, not allowing his wound to heal immediately, which made his fount of life flow out 1
Senses
- Even through a closed door, could tell that someone was asleep by his steady breathing. He states he can hear the voice of the wind across the wilderness and the song of spirits 1
- Sensed the hundreds of hidden weapons inside a castle 1
- Has a greater sense of touch than humans 1
- Sensed that there were a hundred people outside the house he was in 1
- Discerned blood vessels lacing a woman's cheeks in a room with no light at all 2
- Could discern a schoolhouse 500 yards away in the rain that was unable to be seen by the mortal eye, and tracked down the location of an enemy 400 yards away with his smell, though he did lose the scent 2
- Heard the creaking of a carriage that was about a mile and a quarter away 3
Noble Physiology
- The darkness of the night affects their molecules, giving them power. A noble can live forever. Only an attack on a noble's heart can kill them 2
- As a dhampir, he has half the strength, senses and physicals of a regular vampire 1
- Nobles grow more powerful over time 1
- They are ageless as they can live so long as they consumed the blood of other creatures 1
- They can survive in space 1
- Vampires are weakened in the sunlight, and they could be killed by a stake, but as a dhampir, D can operate just fine in the morning 1
- Sunlight can cause a dhampir to feel nausea, thirst, their skins to be burnt, but D is just fine
- Science cannot explain how vampires sleep 1
- Dhampirs have at least half the power of a vampire's physiology which allows them to absorb and recover from damage hundreds of times better than a human. Some dhampirs would completely heal from breaking every bone and rupturing some organs in about 72 hours 1
- A vampire would not die as long as their heart isn't pierced 1
- Nobles can give their victims a weaker version of the same powers they have 2
- Vampires can beckon people using sheer willpower 2
- A vampire can use a hypnotic spell to control a target to unleash brutal attacks. This can even control a corpse 2
- Destroying a vampire will cure the victims of the effects of their bite 3
- Can go days without nourishment 2
- Nobles can choose not to make their target turn into a Noble if they sucked their blood 3
- Bullets from a magnum gun made him bleed, but D states they would heal soon 2
- A noble could heal even if they were stabbed in the stomach 3
- Got hit by a stake through the heart. He dies from this and gets his left hand chopped off 1
- Nobles have problems with the rain because they can't cross running water 2
- 5 minutes of direct sunlight exposure can destroy their regen and cause immense pain, 10 minutes will drive them insane 3
- Sunlight causes "unparalleled agony" to a dhampir like D, but as a Vampire Hunter, he has the stamina to remain impassive in the day 3
- D faced sunlight syndrome after galloping his horse in daylight for more than 2 miles, which gives him fatigue. Dhampirs face sunlight syndrome attacks every six months, but D hasn't faced any in 5 years. In order to combat this, D can replenish energy by taking it from the soil around him. D fully recovered after burying himself into soil for a few days 3
- It is considered easy for someone to kill a dhampir suffering from sunlight syndrome 3
- Dhampirs lose 70% of their strength in the sun. They cannot stay afloat and if they drowned, they can easily come back at night if they get an infusion of fresh blood 3
- While weakened by sunlight, deflects Rei-Ginsei's shrike blades 1
- Walked in the daylight without being tired at all, something that would normally have weakened a vampire drastically 2
- Completely fine when his ankles are submerged in water 3
Transformation
- Instantly transforms into a full vampire 1
- When he transforms, his eyebrows raise and his eyes roll back 1
- He can transform with just 1 small drop of blood 2
Gear
Pendant- Made robot sentries around him unable to attack again 1
- Passively forced a drawbridge to lower, and shut down all electronics of a castle 1
- Forced shut doors to open. It can also repel robots 1
- Forced open a steel shutter 2
- Rendered a Shelter inoperable 3
- Precisely threw wood needles at the wrist and heart of literal shadows, sticking to stone 2
- Destroyed 2 baskets 2
- Deflects electricity of more than half a million volts 2
- Pierced Fern's knees and nailed his hand to the ground 2
- Countered Nolt Marcus' staff spin, which blew apart almost diamond-hard stone 3
- Repels the arm of a machine that was about to fall on him and makes a wound-like rent in it 3
Skill
- Slashed a werewolf with his sword, blocking its regenerative powers with skill alone 1
- Aimed at Golem's weak point with his sword to kill him 1
- Noticed his enemy's strategy of deliberately moving into a position where D would hit his heart, then changed his target to his enemy's stomach at the last moment 1
- Blocks a dagger aimed at his neck from an enemy that suddenly materialized behind him 3
Other
General Power- Said to be the greatest vampire hunter of all 3
- D can interact with intangible enemies:
- D uses a regular cyborg horse which somehow outsped another cyborg horse 2mph faster than the average one, likely due to D's powers 2
- Caused him and his horse to shrink, eventually vanishing from sight 3
- Amped the speed of his horse to a level beyond its average speed (60mph) 3
- Maneuvered his horse across a river by locating stones submerged in it in a split second to the point where it looked like it was leaping across the surface of the water 3
- Could travel a distance that took a carriage an hour in less than 20 minutes 3
Misc
Charisma2023.05.28 06:55 123mitchg Looking for a gaming laptop
Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: $1700-$1900. Been looking at Costco and Sam’s Club as well.
•Are you open to refurbs/used? Potentially if the value is great.
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? Will be a gaming laptop for moderate-heavy duty, so performance is very important. Will spend most of its time on a desk with an external monitor and constant power connection, so battery life and build quality are not vital but should still be C-level quality. Form factor is not very important but a decent-sized screen is preferable (16” or more).
• How important is weight and thinness to you? Not very, but I don’t want a brick either.
• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put NA. 16” or more.
• Gaming/CAD/video editing: moderate to heavy gaming. Recreational CAD but nothing serious. No plans for any real video editing.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? Madden 23 (and 24 when it comes out), Skyrim Special Edition with moderate mods, Halo MCC and Infinite, the new Forza game when it comes out. Also occasionally NBA 2k and GTA V. Medium or better graphical settings and 60+ FPS.
Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? Touchscreen and fingerprint reader is a plus but absolutely not a necessity. 1.5 tB of internal storage is desirable as well but can be supplemented with an external drive.
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. Again, also looking at Costco and Sam’s, prices should be somewhat lower there. Willing to sacrifice some performance to save a couple hundred bucks, but would like it to still be capable of running new games in 3-4 years at the same settings as above.
submitted by 123mitchg to SuggestALaptop [link] [comments]
•Are you open to refurbs/used? Potentially if the value is great.
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? Will be a gaming laptop for moderate-heavy duty, so performance is very important. Will spend most of its time on a desk with an external monitor and constant power connection, so battery life and build quality are not vital but should still be C-level quality. Form factor is not very important but a decent-sized screen is preferable (16” or more).
• How important is weight and thinness to you? Not very, but I don’t want a brick either.
• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put NA. 16” or more.
• Gaming/CAD/video editing: moderate to heavy gaming. Recreational CAD but nothing serious. No plans for any real video editing.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? Madden 23 (and 24 when it comes out), Skyrim Special Edition with moderate mods, Halo MCC and Infinite, the new Forza game when it comes out. Also occasionally NBA 2k and GTA V. Medium or better graphical settings and 60+ FPS.
Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? Touchscreen and fingerprint reader is a plus but absolutely not a necessity. 1.5 tB of internal storage is desirable as well but can be supplemented with an external drive.
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. Again, also looking at Costco and Sam’s, prices should be somewhat lower there. Willing to sacrifice some performance to save a couple hundred bucks, but would like it to still be capable of running new games in 3-4 years at the same settings as above.
2023.05.28 05:48 InfernoAA God Made the World in Six Days, I’ll Perfect New Japan's on the Seventh Part Two: King George and the Dragon
In Part One, Kazuchika Okada waged war on the wrestling world as part of his quest to purify NJPW, killing BULLET CLUB and giving CHAOS a much-needed facelift in the process. Hirooki Goto and company have since taken refuge under Katsuyori Shibata’s new “Takeover” stable, which has recruited Ren Narita’s services. Sabre-Gun’s been on the up too, expanding to include the likes of Blake Christian and Clark Connors with the recent Best of the Super Juniors, continuing to be at odds with Just6Guys. There’s one group that’s yet to be addressed though, and that’s… United Empire.
After finally vanquishing Kenny Omega at Forbidden Door, Will Ospreay sets his sights on the next logical step – the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship. With another of his white whales clutching onto it tightly, he wants closure to this legendary saga too, and so, he calls out the Rainmaker. Big Brother Kazu isn’t fazed one bit by the challenge, telling Ospreay he’s been waiting for him, though not to expect a result any different to their many past matches. After all, from Okada’s point-of-view, Will isn’t NJPW’s next destined leader. There’s a different prodigal son waiting.
Under CHAOS’s new vision, not only has Okada been building a ruthless band of companions willing to follow his regime change, but also focusing on its future, no longer being a top-heavy unit destined to collapse the moment Kazuchika stops supporting its roof. With Hiroshi Tanahashi already bringing in his younger counterpart, Shota Umino, Okada recruits the man prophesised to take over his mantle of Ace one day, Yuya Uemura. His Forbidden Door victory over Wheeler YUTA marking the end of his American excursion, Uemura accompanies his leader’s victory against Blackpool Combat Club in major fashion by accompanying him on the Kizuna Road loop.
Kizuna Road - Night Four (July 3, 2023)
CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada & Yuya Uemura) vs United Empire (Will Ospreay & Jeff Cobb)
Impressing thus far, Yuya’s biggest test comes when he teams with Okada 2-on-2 for the very first time to confront UE’s Ospreay and Cobb, and he quickly silences their criticisms. A one-sided manhandling from Cobb soon turns into Uemura employing strategies passed down to him from Okada on how to beat the Hawaiian Hulk, giving him quite the culture shock, before Okada helps bang the big man’s drum. The flow shifts when Ospreay steps in though, severely outclassing Yuya to both his and Okada’s surprise. This is a different Will to the one Okada faced a year ago in the G1 Climax Finals.
And yet, the Rainmaker has an ego problem. Tagging in, he tries to shut Will down, only to find for once, Ospreay seems to have his number. When the Commonwealth Kingpin has him beat though, going for the Hidden Blade, Yuya throws himself in harm’s way to buy Okada a moment, allowing Kazuchika to Dropkick Will out the equation, before drilling Cobb with a Rainmaker to win! As Ospreay grits his teeth, he understands it’ll take more than that to outsmart Okada.
CHAOS def. United Empire (13:45)
Wrestle Dynasty (July 8, 2023)
Also on the show:
Sabre-Gun (El Phantasmo, Mikey Nicholls & Shane Haste) (c) vs Ren Narita & Bishamon - NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
Aussie Open (c) vs CHAOS (Tomohiro Ishii & Shota Umino) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Jeff Cobb - IWGP United States Championship
Kazuchika Okada (c) vs Will Ospreay IX - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
Across 8 matches, Ospreay has never once beaten Okada cleanly, his only triumph coming from the night of his betrayal in the G1 3 years ago. But now, with a win over the man Okada failed to beat at Dominion, he’s in the best shape he’s ever been to end the reign of tyranny. The question is though, will he? Returning to Madison Square Garden for this historic show, the last time they were here Ospreay was losing to Cobb in a Winner Takes All opener, whilst Okada was winning back the IWGP Heavyweight Championship in the main event. This time, they’re equals.
Ospreay enters on a throne carried to the ring by UE, hamming up his Commonwealth Kingpin moniker and signalling the days of the Aerial Assassin to be long dead. Okada, on the other hand, is the same old Rainmaker, descending from the heavens on a platform, God mode in full effect. With pre-match introductions out the way, the bell rings, and the match gets underway! And in classic Okada/Ospreay fashion, Kazuchika expects to Big Brother Will with the Tanahashi/Okada-style headlock start… BUT OSPREAY RUSHES HIM WITH THE HIDDEN BLADE!!!
Caught off guard, Okada only barely evades him, but Ospreay moves like a lightning bolt, instantly transitioning to springboarding off the ropes for an OSCUTTER! Okada catches it and grabs the wrist, ripcording him into a RAINMAKER! Will ducks though, blasting him with a MARUFUJI HOOK KICK! Okada rocked, nails a SILENT WHISPER to the back of the head, before hooking the arms for the STORM BREAKER!!! But yet again, the Rainmaker barely gets out of dodge, shoving Will away and sliding outside for a breather!
Okada looks like he doesn’t know what’s just hit him, while Ospreay grins and mocks the Rainmaker pose. Snarling, Kazuchika slides back in and gets to trading blows with his challenger. Stiff elbows bounce off their heads in the centre of the ring, an Enzuigiri from Okada whiffing and a Handspring Enzuigiri from Will equally missing the mark! Kazu teases a Dropkick, causing Ospreay to leap, only to meet a stiff Uppercut once gravity gets hold of him.
Tossed into the ropes for a proper Dropkick attempt, Will instead slides to the apron and thunders in with a PIP PIP CHEERIO! A Running Shooting Star Press misses, Ospreay rolling through and racing back at Okada, though he’s launched onto the top turnbuckle. Again, a frustrated Okada wants the Dropkick, but Ospreay catches the leg and spins him around, nailing an INVERTED TORNADO DDT! Crunch. Here come the neck issues.
Okada dazed, nursing the injury in agony, Ospreay stomps the hell out of the neck, before connecting with a ROBINSON SPECIAL! He teases a follow-up OsCutter, Okada anticipating it, only to be faked into a SPIKE DDT! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Okada DDT’d the life out of Will last time, so Ospreay’s making sure to return the favour here. He goes for broke one too many times though, a Hangman’s DDT attempt ending in Okada spearing Ospreay across the ring and through the ropes, both smacking off the apron to the floor!
Turning feral ringside, Okada kicks Ospreay senseless like he’s Kaito, before forcefully connecting a DDT of his own! He whips Will at the guardrail for his patented Crossbody spot but Ospreay leaps over, a Silent Whisper staggering Okada, before an OSCUTTER SOARS IN… NOT THIS TIME – OKADA COUNTERS INTO A TOMBSTONE ON THE CONCRETE!!! Getting him back for the G1 Finals, Kazu smugly takes in the boos as Will twitches lifelessly at his feet.
Tossing him in, a MISSILE DROPKICK guns into his neck, before another BEAUTIFUL DROPKICK smacks into his chest, Okada finally in control! A Flapjack plants Will face-first and an AIR RAID CRASH NECKBREAKER again targets the famously-troubled neck of Ospreay! ONE! TWO! THR-NO DICE! Cinching in the MONEY CLIP, he continues working it over, Will sputtering and gasping for breaths as he reaches out at the ropes. Right as he finds himself inches from them though, a GERMAN SUPLEX dumps him on his neck!
Okada hits the pose, before dialling up the RAINMAKER… Ospreay snapmares him over, learning from last time to not back him up. and throws the HIDDEN BLADE!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOO!!! Racing up top, Will prepares a Shooting Star Press, though Okada sluggishly rolls to the apron as he grabs at his head. Deciding to change trajectories… OSPREAY NAILS A SUPER OSCUTTER TO THE FLOOR!!! Body aching yet determined, Will rolls back in, only to soar back out with a SASUKE SPECIAL!!!
Dragging Okada behind him, he drapes him over the top rope, heading back up to finally hit the BURNING STAR PRESS!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OKADA GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPE!!! Keeping his composure, Ospreay murders Okada’s face with Kawada Kicks, before a CHELSEA GRIN knocks him loopy… OSCUTTER INCOMING – OKADA COLLAPSES UNDER!!! Will smacks off the mat, not anticipating it, and lets out a pained grunt as both lay flat on their backs, New York roaring in approval!
Ospreay finds his feet first and tries to pick Okada from his knees, though it results in him being tripped into the ropes throat-first! DROPKICK MEETS OSPREAY AS HE TURNS AROUND! Okada’s noticeably slower than usual, though he doesn’t let it hinder him, picking Will up to nail a SHORT-ARM RAINMAKER! Ospreay stays upright, returning a forearm smash, but another SHORT-ARM RAINMAKER takes him down! Okada teases the finishing blow, though Will resists, prompting Kazu to spike him with a LANDSLIDE instead! ONE! TWO! THR-OSPREAY SURVIVES!
Hauling him right back up, Okada shoots again… WILL COUNTERS WITH AN OSCUTT- DROPKICKED OUT THE SKIES! Okada sets up the SPINNING RAINMAKER, but Ospreay nails the DISCUS ELBOW first! HOOK KICK drops him, before the HIDDEN BLADE closes in… OKADA DUCKS AND FIRES A JOHN WOO DROPKICK, SENDING OSPREAY INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER! AND A HESITATION DROPKICK – SHADES OF SHIBATA! Will in the drop zone, Okada gets an idea, heading up top… HIGH FLY FLOW!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Okada scowls, picking Will up for the TOMBSTONE… OSPREAY REVERSES INTO A HITODENASHI DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OKADA KICKS OUT!!! And now Ospreay hits the Rainmaker pose again! Securing wrist-control, he nails a RAINHAM MAKER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-STILL NO LUCK!!! Ospreay’s running out of options, though refuses to let his confidence waver, sticking to his gameplan. Mauling Okada’s arms, neck, and back with stomps, he picks him for only his second attempt at the ultimate final blow! OSPREAY WANTS STORM BREAKER!!!
Getting Okada up… KAZU DROPS OUT AND NAILS THE RAINMAKER!!! BUT HE CAN’T COVER, HAVING TO NURSE THE ARM! Both men returning to their feet at the same time, they knock each other dead with strikes, Okada scoring the ENZUIGIRI this time, Ospreay returning the POP-UP FOREARM SMASH! Tearing off the elbow pad, OSPREAY FIRES UP THE HIDDEN BLADE… OKADA COUNTERS INTO THE SPINNING EMERALD FLOWSION!!! NOT AGAIN – THIS COMBO ENDED WILL LAST TIME! Okada spells the end… RAINMAKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! THIS IS IT! TWO! MSG IS ON THEIR FEET! THRE… OSPREAY KICKS OUT!!! HE’S STILL IN IT!!!
Okada looks like he’s seen a ghost, a barely twitching Ospreay laying at his feet with one shoulder raised! Refusing to accept it, the Rainmaker lifts him back up, BEFORE NAILING ANOTHER ON A DEFENCELESS WILL! Ospreay on his knees, head bowed, Kazu lifts him up by the hair to lock gazes with Will’s glazed-over eyes, before throwing a THIRD AND FINAL- OSPREAY HITS THE RAINMAKER!!! Okada drops like he’s been shot!
And now Will realises this could be it. Struggling back up whilst maintaining wrist-control, he lets out a roar, before nailing a RIPCORD HIDDEN BLADE!!! Okada at his knees now, Will lifts his head up by the hair this time as Kazu dares him to finish him off, too weak to fight back… AND OSPREAY OBLIGES, FISHING HIM INTO A STORM BREAKERRRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! OSPREAY’S FINALLY DONE IT!!! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!
Will Ospreay def. Kazuchika Okada (c) to win the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (38:09)
MSG loses its mind as both men lay exhausted, UE rushing out to celebrate with their leader, helping him to his feet and handing him his prize. Golden tickertape hails from the rafters like Okada Dollars, Ospreay seated on a makeshift arm throne by Cobb and O-Khan, raising his title high, whilst Aussie Open and Catch 22 stand on either side, brandishing their respective titles too! And as Okada recovers, rolling out the ring and returning up the ramp, he locks eyes with Ospreay, giving him a look which reads “I’ll be back.” Will doesn’t let it phase him though. This is his night. He’s earned this moment.
G1 Climax 33
Not having to wait long for his first test, he enters his fourth G1 for the first time as reigning champion, redeeming the chance that a neck injury robbed him of in 2021. Heading A Block, he battles CHAOS’s Hiroshi Tanahashi on Night One, who tries to avenge Okada’s loss, though meets the same fate. Will dominates his block, dropping his first match after an undefeated 6 nights, losing to Katsuyori Shibata after their teased program last year at Forbidden Door! Still first though, having victimised SANADA, Shota Umino, EVIL, PAC, and KENTA along the way, he murders El Phantasmo on his 8th night, before meeting Tetsuya Naito in the Block Finals after a 5* duology last year! Finally, El Ingobernable avenges his past losses to punch his ticket to the Finals! As for B Block, a Shingo Takagi victory over Sabre puts him through, setting up a rematch from 2019’s G1 between Naito and Takagi for the Finals, adding fuel to the fire of LIJ’s already turbulent year with SANADA’s betrayal!
(Other key underlying stories are Naito’s loss to SANADA, KENTA beating Shibata in their first match as part of the TakeoveCHAOS feud, PAC finally returning to the ring as AEW’s representative to throw a spanner into LIJ’s works, Kaito taking Okada to a draw, Goto getting his win back over Okada, Sabre equalising his series with Taichi, and Yuya beating Yota in the first chapter of their Ace vs Dark Ace rivalry that’ll propel NJPW once Okada and Naito pass on the respective mantles.)
G1 Climax 33 Finals (August 13, 2023)
Also on this show:
Tetsuya Naito vs Shingo Takagi II - G1 Climax Finals
United Empire (Will Ospreay & Catch 22) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Yota Tsuji, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI)
With Naito returning last year’s favour of having the Finals robbed from him by Ospreay, Will instead faces his potential Wrestle Kingdom main event opponent’s factionmates, bringing longest-reigning IWGP Junior Tag Team Champions Catch 22 along for the ride. Whilst using the opportunity to run back his critically acclaimed rivalry with Hiromu Takahashi, he also makes an example out of NEVER Openweight Champion Yota Tsuji, cracking down on the New Generation star to remind Naito and Shingo what he plans to do to them, before pinning BUSHI for the win!
United Empire def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (14:10)
As UE celebrate their win… BANG! DOUBLE SUPERKICK TO OSPREAY! STEEL CHAIR TO TJP AND FRANCESCO AKIRA! THE ELITE IS HERE!!! No rest for the wicked, Omega plants his boot on Will’s head as he holds the IWGP World Title up, making his intentions crystal clear. His match with Okada ended without a clear victor, and so, he not only wants another crack at the belt, but to crush Ospreay to avenge Forbidden Door. And what better place to do that than Wembley Stadium!
RevPro 11 Year Anniversary Show (August 26, 2023)
Will Ospreay vs Ren Narita
Whilst Ospreay/Omega III is announced for the following night, Will takes care of business in Copper Box Arena the night prior against one Ren Narita, continuing to test out the youth of NJPW, having already faced Yuya, Yota, and Shota in the past month. With Shibata holding a win over Ospreay’s head, promising to be back for the victor of ALL IN’s main event, Will batters his student in the meantime to remind him who the best wrestler in the world is right now, a Hidden Blade slaying Ren!
Will Ospreay def. Ren Narita (16:07)
ALL IN: London (August 27, 2023)
Also on the show:
Zack Sabre Jr. (c)(c) vs Bryan Danielson – NJPW World Television/ROH Pure Championships
FTR (c) vs Aussie Open - AEW World Tag Team Championship
Will Ospreay (c) vs Kenny Omega III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
They’ve fought in Japan’s Tokyo Dome, Canada’s Scotiabank Arena, and now, they finally settle the score in England’s Wembley Stadium. 90,000 strong in attendance, there’s a clear crowd favourite here, football chants raining down for Ospreay. Omega decides to lean into it, tapping fully into his Cleaner look and tendencies with Devil’s Sky, absorbing the hatred. Will, on the other hand, receives a standing ovation in an emotional homecoming, prepared to prove his superiority over Omega once and for all and silence those accusing him of lucky past couple months.
The big first test for Will as champion starts with Kenny trying to get under Ospreay’s skin, stalling him out each time the Commonwealth Kingpin guns for him. Forcing him to work for his golden snitch, Kenny slides out and does jumping jacks until Will takes the bait, Omega quickly repossessing the ring, shutting Ospreay out. Will yells at the referee to back Kenny up, who obliges… ONLY TO EXPLODE FOR A V-TRIGGER THE MOMENT WILL RE-ENTERS!
Ospreay leapfrogs him and comes off the ropes with a hurricanrana, Omega cartwheeling through and throwing one back, Will handstanding out, though not fast enough, eating a DROPKICK TO THE FACE! Ospreay stunned, Kenny launches him into the corner and dogs on him with vicious kicks and stomps until the referee intervenes, Omega throwing one last chest-slicing chop! Incensed, Ospreay rushes out with forearms for Kenny, lighting him up, the Kawada Kicks finding their mark, before a CHELSEA GRIN’S BLOCKED BY A V-TRIGGER!
Ospreay shaking off his arm, Kenny capitalises with another V-TRIGGER, but Will ducks, nailing a Hook Kick, an OSCUTTER due to follow… OMEGA SUPERKICKS OSPREAY OVER THE ROPES! Will floored, a RISE OF THE TERMINATOR wipes him out! Gloating as England boos him, an even better idea crosses Kenny’s mind, sliding back in to nail a SASUKE SPECIAL! Nuclear heat. Battering Ospreay about the ring, he teases smashing his head through a table like WK17, though frantic back elbows force him off!
Kenny seeing stars, Ospreay attempts an OSCUTTER OFF THE GUARDRAIL- V-TRIGGER TO THE BASE OF THE SKULL SNIPES HIM!!! A sickening thud reverberating through the arena as Ospreay’s head snaps forward, a sadistic Kenny lays the section of railing on Will’s body… BEFORE CONNECTING A DIVING DOUBLE FOOT STOMP OFF THE APRON!!! Champion crushed, Omega cackles and dusts off his hands, before kissing Will’s title, eager to bring it home.
As Kenny taunts the crowd, Ospreay’s managed to feebly crawl out the rubble after the referee checking on him, though as Omega senses this, he’s immediately on his tail. Watching Will try to pull himself up using the steel post, KENNY CHARGES FOR ANOTHER V-TRIGGER… CRACK! OSPREAY MOVES OUT THE WAY, OMEGA’S KNEE HITTING THE STEEL INSTEAD!!! The Cleaner yowls in sheer agony as what was starting to look like another dominant showing takes a drastic left turn!
Realising this, Will quickly capitalises, grabbing Omega’s wrists from the opposite side of the post, pulling him up to his feet… Kenny hysterically tries to fight Ospreay off, begging him to spare him, realising what’s coming, WILL YANKING OMEGA HEAD-FIRST INTO THE POST!!! Bouncing it off it over and over again, now it’s Kenny that’s busted open! Omega collapsing back to his knees, Ospreay next grabs the leg and SMASHES KENNY’S KNEE INTO THE POST!!! THEN THE GUARDRAIL!!! AND BACK!!! There’s no mercy from Ospreay tonight.
Rolling Kenny in, he nails Omega’s YOU CAN’T ESCAPE! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Forcing Omega to use the bad leg to free himself, Will goes right back to targeting it, kicking the inside of the knee and slamming it against the mat! SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE LEG! Omega can’t even be whipped across the ring, collapsing half-way, a ROBINSON SPECIAL crushing him instead! AND A SLINGSHOT CUTTER! ONE! TWO! THR-NO LUCK!
Hooking the arms, Ospreay wants STORM BREAKER, but Omega counters into a hurricanrana pin for 2! A Running Knee Strike from Will comes up empty, Kenny flattening him with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! AND A SECOND! KOTARO KRUSHER FOLLOWS! Smacking the leg to keep up, an AOI SHOUDOU plants Ospreay! ONE! TWO! THR-WILL STAYS IN IT! A Doctor Bomb attempt is subdued, Ospreay hammering the knee to escape, before a ROUNDHOUSE cleans Kenny’s clock, a POISONED FRANKENSTEINER standing him up, and an ESSEX DESTROY- POP-UP V-TRIGGER!!!
Kenny desperately tries getting a limp Will on his shoulders for the ONE WINGED ANGEL, using the ropes for help, but Ospreay leans forwards, tumbling onto the apron to escape! SILENT WHISPER blasts Kenny… OMEGA THROWS A V-TRIGGER BACK, KNOCKING WILL OUT! Leg searing yet title more important, Kenny gingerly lifts Ospreay up the ropes with him, before going for OH GOD A MIDDLE ROPE CROYT’S WRATH!!! OSPREAY FLIPS TO HIS FEET!!!
The sneer on Omega’s face slowly fades as realisation strikes him, shades of Ibushi/Ospreay, Will not even giving him a chance to respond, HOOK KICK CONNECTING! OSCUTTERRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Frustrated, Ospreay hammers on the cut on Kenny’s forehead, painting his own chest with Omega’s blood, BEFORE REMOVING THE TURNBUCKLE PAD! He wants to return the favour from WK! Taking Kenny to the top rope, Ospreay teases a DDT onto the exposed steel… Omega slips between his legs to the mat and CROTCHES WILL ON THE METAL!!!
Kenny cackles as Ospreay howls, before packaging his head and nailing a CHEEKY NANDOS KICK! Blasting Will repeatedly, a V-TRIGGER FOLLOWS, SMASHING WILL’S HEAD INTO THE STEEL!!! AND HE SPINS HIM AROUND – AVALANCHE PHOENIX-PLEX!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Kenny beats on Will’s fresh cut, leaving both men bloody messes, before readying a V-TRIGGER… Ospreay grabs Omega’s foot! Pissed, Kenny shakes him off, nailing a STANDING V-TRIGGER straight to the cut, BEFORE SPIKING HIM WITH AN IBUSHI-STYLE BASTARD DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OSPREAY SURVIVES AGAIN!!!
Ospreay’s body limply leaning on the ropes, Kenny cocks and fires a V-TRIGGER, Will simply bouncing back head-first onto the Canadian! Setting him back, Omega takes another run-up, NAILING HIM WITH A SECOND IN SUCCESSION!!! The champion still out on his knees, twisted thoughts run through Kenny’s mind, prepping his elbow… HE WANTS TO CONCUSS WILL LIKE OSPREAY DID IBUSHI AT WK13!!! OMEGA THROWS THE HIDDEN BLADE… V-TRIGGER FROM OSPREAY!!! Sparking to life, he grabs the wrists and ripcords for a RAINHAM MAKER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KENNY’S STILL IN IT!!!
Omega on dream street, Ospreay locks and loads THE HIDDEN BLADE, CONNECTING FLUSH ON KENNY’S JAW!!! But as Will goes to cover, Omega collapses out the ring! Ospreay’s lets out a frustrated wail, but he makes the chase all the same, kicking the lifeless Kenny about ringside. A weak chop from Omega meets a sickening forearm, and a wild punch completely misses, Kenny’s legs giving out. TIGER SUPLEX DUMPS HIM ON THE FLOOR!!! Kenny now fully collapsed, Ospreay gets an idea… PULLING OUT A LADDER FROM UNDER THE RING!!!
Clearing the commentary table, he hoists The Cleaner onto it, before propping the ladder next-door and climbing! Sending a silent prayer to the skies, OSPREAY LAUNCHES OFF WITH A PHOENIX SPLASH, CONNECTING ALL OF IT!!! The crowd goes ballistic with the two men dead in the rubble, both unmoving for several seconds until Will finally faintly grins to himself for returning a taste of WK17’s table. Dragging himself inside, he flops into his corner, lying in wait for the challenger, who has the look of a soulless corpse once he finds his feet and locks eyes with Ospreay, barely rolling inside at 9 but immediately collapsing again.
Ready to end it, Will crawls over and lifts Kenny to his knees by the wrists, SCORING A KAMIGOYE-STYLE HIDDEN BLADE!!! Omega rocked, Ospreay backs up to his corner for seconds, BUT KENNY PULLS THE REFEREE INTO THE WAY! Will catches himself in time, pausing in his tracks, though is left exposed to a LOW BLOW!!! Wembley goes mental with boos as Kenny weakly chuckles, feebly clawing up to his feet up a confused referee to nail a V-TRIGGER!!! Lifting him by the wrists, a RAIN TRIGGER FOLLOWS!!! AND HE GETS THE ELECTRIC CHAIR AGAINST ALL ODDS… BUT HE COLLAPSES!!!
Omega shakes his head in denial, tearing up, his golden ticket in the palm of his hands! Heaving himself back up, he tries again, but Will anchors his body to the ground! Incredulous, he grabs Ospreay by the hair, who grins mockingly, AND SLAMS AN UGLY REAR KAMIGOYE INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!! COVER!!! ONE! T-KICK OUT!!! OSPREAY KICKS OUT AT ONE!!! Though still completely out of it, the act of sheer defiance certainly sees Kenny’s confidence shatter in real time, who like an unhinged animal beats on Ospreay’s forehead gash until Omega too collapses next to him!
In a last-ditch effort, he staggers to his feet and puts Will’s head between his legs, wanting a CLASSIC PILEDRIVER!!! OSPREAY HANDSTANDS OUT!!! Omega’s horrified- HIDDEN BLADE!!! ONE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! Kenny kneeled, Ospreay stands next to him, prepping the OsCutter, but Omega grabs him by the tights! No force in him though, he tells Will to look him in the eyes… AND HE FLIPS HIM OFF!!! SILENT WHISPER TO KENNY!!! AND AN OSCUTTER!!! Rolling through, he deadlifts him up, CONNECTING THE STORM BREAKERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
Will Ospreay (c) def. Kenny Omega to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (43:29)
At long last, it’s over. In front of his own people, the Commonwealth Kingpin has proven he’s Japan’s top gaijin and the most valuable wrestler today. Handed his gold, he watches as a prideful Omega refuses help, mustering up the strength to drag himself up using the ropes, before meeting Will’s gaze. At the end of the first match, he gloated. At the end of the second, he was crushed. But now? He gives Will a subtle nod of respect, officially passing the torch as he takes his bow, leaving Ospreay to take over the world.
Whilst he may have knocked down his two biggest obstacles in Okada and Omega, a dark horse third awaits him back in Japan by the name of Katsuyori Shibata! The only other individual to beat Will in the G1 other than the winner himself, he calls him out for a shot, still waiting on a reign of his own. A determined Ospreay doesn’t back down, though when he goes for a rare show of respect in a press conference heading in, extending a hand as the bigger man, Shibata outright refuses to shake! Seeing through Will’s superficialness, he declares that he owes Ospreay no respect, refusing to accept him as the company’s face that they’ve so desperately tried to mould him into. He was held back for choosing to carve his own path away from the Musketeers, and now he’s going to stick it to the company by exposing their golden boy like Sakura Genesis 2017! Will grits his teeth but says nothing, knowing he’ll just need to prove himself again.
Wrestle Grand Slam in Belluna Dome (September 10, 2023)
Also on the show:
Yota Tsuji (c) vs Yuya Uemura - NEVER Openweight Championship
Catch 22 (c) vs CHAOS (SHO & Taiji Ishimori) - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship
Aussie Open (c) vs FTR - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Will Ospreay (c) vs Katsuyori Shibata III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
In only the third IWGP World Title match of his career, 6 years since the infamous incident, The Wrestler receives a chance to redeem all the troubles he was put through and avenge his pupil Narita in the process. As for Ospreay, having lost to Shibata in both their matches in 2017 and 2023 respectively, he must carve out his spot definitively by knocking down another of his white whales. Taking place interestingly in KENTA’s hometown, Katsuyori’s even more driven to stick it to the man he despises most and lost to in the G1 by winning here, a pair of rather simple, stoic entrances setting the tone for the main event.
Initially, just like the G1, Shibata starts by beating the hell out of the much younger star to humble him, though Ospreay’s much quicker to put up his fists this time, learning. Youthful arrogance sees him get a couple teeth knocked down his throat though, his patented elbows instantly receiving a much stiffer receipt from Shibata, dropping him dead! Unable to outstrike the most dangerous man in New Japan, Will instead leans on his weight advantage, brutally slamming him down with London Has Fallen and scoring a vicious Liger Bomb to boot. Growing comfortable, he attempts the OsCutter, BUT IS CAUGHT WITH A SLEEPER!
Choked to a plum colour, the finishing PK narrowly misses, Ospreay dropping him with an ESSEX DESTROYER instead! Cruelling focusing on the skull, Will regains advantage, getting nasty with Kawada Kicks and a CHELSEA GRIN that rocks Shibata! An aerial attempt is again blocked, Shibata evading a Shooting Star Press and simply slapping the hell out of Will! A B*TCHMAKER almost ends him, Katsuyori mocking him as a lesser Okada, but Will takes it personally, rocking him with a brutal Running Knee Strike and nailing a SPIKE PILEDRIVER! Shibata on his knees, inviting Will to give him his best, a (protected) HIDDEN BLADE cracks him upside the head, Ospreay knocking the striker out cold for 3 to retain!
Will Ospreay (c) def. Katsuyori Shibata to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (31:46)
Doubt him, and you’ll be made to regret it. Though earlier in the night, Catch 22’s legendary reign came to an end, United Empire is stronger than ever with Ospreay taking down a murderer’s row of competition. Selling out MSG, Wembley, and a Dome, he only continues to elevate to higher heights. Whilst Shibata is left to be mugged by KENTA to close the show, Will can walk away proud of himself, on the run of a lifetime.
With the Burning Spirit tour up next leading into a second homecoming in one reign for Ospreay at Royal Quest III, there’s one man in particular that’s been barking up his tree as of late, and that’s the NJPW World Television and ROH Pure Champion Zack Sabre Jr.! Someone who’s been a thorn in Will’s side every step of the way and vice versa, he’s not content holding just two titles, wanting to reclaim his status as Zacky Three Belts, and what better way to do that than with the World Championship! Citing his far superior record and win in their last meeting in 2022’s New Japan Cup, Ospreay grants him a chance to show how deserving he truly is.
Burning Spirit - Night Six (September 23, 2023)
Birds of Prey (Will Ospreay & Robbie Eagles) vs Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr. & Gabriel Kidd)
Will picking his close friend Robbie Eagles to join him (who defected to United Empire during CHAOS’s rebranding after dissension with Lio Rush over Sakura Genesis’s IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship shot), Sabre chooses an interesting ally of his own in Sabre-Gun’s rising star Gabriel Kidd! Zack’s empire slowly growing across 2023 with the additions of El Phantasmo, El Desperado, TMDK, Blake Christian, Clark Connors, and Kosei Fujita, Kidd’s been another that’s greatly impressed since his return from excursion, joining Zack in a tag on the G1 Finals Night to officially become part of the stable, playing off their history of fighting until respect was reached. Originally set to challenge Ospreay for his RevPro Undisputed British Heavyweight Championship last year until a mental health break cancelled those plans, unfinished business stands between the two, Kidd still looking to get Will back for chipping his elbow in a Ladder match back in WCPW 6 years ago.
The animosity between the two very much shows here, as even with Ospreay ascending to untouchable heights in the past year, he’s still the same Will to Kidd, who incessantly targets him throughout the match, wanting his pound of flesh. Will, of course, outclasses him, using his incredible chemistry with Eagles to keep Gabriel at bay, though their shifted focus does open the doors for ZSJ to employ his cunning, bending Ospreay’s arm over the guardrail with an Article 50 before massacring Robbie, an Orienteering With Napalm Death decisively tapping him out! Holding up all three belts as a hurt Will composes himself, Zack sends a definitive statement of things to come.
Sabre-Gun def. Birds of Prey (14:25)
Royal Quest III - Night Two (October 8, 2023)
Also on the tour:
Aussie Open (c) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Tetsuya Naito & Shingo Takagi) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Jon Moxley (c) vs Katsuyori Shibata - IWGP United States Championship
Will Ospreay (c) vs Zack Sabre Jr. XVI - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
And so, for the 16th time ever, Ospreay and Sabre are set to go head-to-head! The record 9-6 in Zack’s favour, the Windy Man is nothing short of wholly confident in his own abilities, whilst Will once more enters with a chip on his shoulder, needing to show himself he’s outgrown Sabre for good. For once, London is split directly down the middle between these two, both men having grown up an hour either side from the venue, each in a completely different position since their last meeting, Ospreay on top as the World Champion and Okada-beater, and Sabre now heading a stable of his own like Will, with NJPW singles gold of his own like Will.
Duelling chants of United Empire and Sabre-Gun, both men are perhaps at their most ruthless they’ve been all year here, which is saying something for Ospreay considering his clashes with Omega, the hatred he shows Sabre unlike anything he’s felt for anyone else, wanting to wipe the sneer off his face. He had Okada figured, he had Omega figured, he even eventually had Shibata figured, but ZSJ is one puzzle which feels like running into a brick wall for Captain Dyslexia, the Technical Wizard tying the champion up into knots that are unheard of!
Taunting, bullying, torturing, Sabre picks Ospreay apart with such drive and intensity that it becomes crystal clear just how starved he’s been of NJPW’s top title. Conversely, Will’s just forced to do his best, picking his spots to remind the world he’s still very much in there, not letting the challenger shake him down to his core. A Selected Technical Works Vol 2. does get Ospreay in a bind, though he shows progression from all his matches with Sabre, managing to hang with him technically just enough to survive, forcing Zack to keep switching up his submissions. A European Clutch gets the closest call though, ZSJ very nearly flash-pinning Will for the strap!
That unlocks a whole other beast inside Ospreay, exploding with an uninterrupted 5-minute stretch of offence that has Sabre utterly overwhelmed, Will standing his ground! A HIDDEN BLADE nearly captures another victim, though the impact’s cushioned by Ospreay’s damaged arm dating back to their tag, keeping Zack alive! Still, Will keeps pushing, solely working a striking game despite the searing pain in his limbs, all in the name of strategy, managing to convince an overconfident Sabre to strike with him, though as has been a recurring theme in 2023, Zack gets mauled! And with his guard let ever so slightly down, the hyperfocus on an Article 50 gives way to a STORM BREAKER after being broken on the mat! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
Will Ospreay (c) def. Zack Sabre Jr. to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (33:50)
Yet again, it’s Ospreay that rules the kingdom with world-class wrestling acumen! As Will collects his title, Sabre cursing under his breath and vowing to be back someday as he leaves with his own two… OUT COMES SHINGO!!! Losing with Naito against Aussie Open for the Tag Titles earlier in the night, the two growing more distant with each other ever since SANADA’s LIJ betrayal put the faction on shaky grounds, Naito’s G1 Finals victory over Shingo only causing further dissension, which they failed to smooth over against the Aussies, the Dragon’s reaching his last wits. And as he eyes Ospreay’s title, it’s clear what he’s here for.
Not receiving a rematch ever since losing the title at Wrestle Kingdom 16, he’s been kept on an empty stomach long enough, his patience wearing thin. Extending a challenge to Will, he wants to be the one walking into WK defending the strap against Naito! Ospreay, uber-confident in his ability to slay his rival once more, accepts!
Battle Autumn - Night Eight (October 23, 2023)
United Empire (Will Ospreay, Jeff Cobb, Aussie Open) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Tetsuya Naito, Yota Tsuji, Hiromu Takahashi)
The Battle Autumn tour pits UE and LIJ against each other in various tags, with Ospreay and co. winning every single one thus far, the issues between Takagi and Naito even spilling into here whilst the rest of LIJ tries to play the role of mediator. With UE dominating and Shingo’s shot mere days away though, they agree something needs to change. And so, for the sake of the greater LIJ family, they do their best to stay out of each other’s ways, finally stringing together some respectable momentum.
As Aussie Open goes for the Coriolis on Naito, Shingo bursts in off tagging Tetsuya’s back, nailing a PUMPING BOMBER on Davis to knock Tetsuya off his shoulders, before a Pumping BombeDestino combo on Kyle and a LAST OF THE DRAGON breaks the LIJ curse, though going right back to sharing tense stares, Naito ultimately nodding to Shingo, wishing him luck. Ospreay, however, stands unfazed, knowing Takagi’s the one with the chip on his shoulder this time.
Los Ingobernables de Japon def. United Empire (18:38)
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After finally vanquishing Kenny Omega at Forbidden Door, Will Ospreay sets his sights on the next logical step – the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship. With another of his white whales clutching onto it tightly, he wants closure to this legendary saga too, and so, he calls out the Rainmaker. Big Brother Kazu isn’t fazed one bit by the challenge, telling Ospreay he’s been waiting for him, though not to expect a result any different to their many past matches. After all, from Okada’s point-of-view, Will isn’t NJPW’s next destined leader. There’s a different prodigal son waiting.
Under CHAOS’s new vision, not only has Okada been building a ruthless band of companions willing to follow his regime change, but also focusing on its future, no longer being a top-heavy unit destined to collapse the moment Kazuchika stops supporting its roof. With Hiroshi Tanahashi already bringing in his younger counterpart, Shota Umino, Okada recruits the man prophesised to take over his mantle of Ace one day, Yuya Uemura. His Forbidden Door victory over Wheeler YUTA marking the end of his American excursion, Uemura accompanies his leader’s victory against Blackpool Combat Club in major fashion by accompanying him on the Kizuna Road loop.
Kizuna Road - Night Four (July 3, 2023)
CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada & Yuya Uemura) vs United Empire (Will Ospreay & Jeff Cobb)
Impressing thus far, Yuya’s biggest test comes when he teams with Okada 2-on-2 for the very first time to confront UE’s Ospreay and Cobb, and he quickly silences their criticisms. A one-sided manhandling from Cobb soon turns into Uemura employing strategies passed down to him from Okada on how to beat the Hawaiian Hulk, giving him quite the culture shock, before Okada helps bang the big man’s drum. The flow shifts when Ospreay steps in though, severely outclassing Yuya to both his and Okada’s surprise. This is a different Will to the one Okada faced a year ago in the G1 Climax Finals.
And yet, the Rainmaker has an ego problem. Tagging in, he tries to shut Will down, only to find for once, Ospreay seems to have his number. When the Commonwealth Kingpin has him beat though, going for the Hidden Blade, Yuya throws himself in harm’s way to buy Okada a moment, allowing Kazuchika to Dropkick Will out the equation, before drilling Cobb with a Rainmaker to win! As Ospreay grits his teeth, he understands it’ll take more than that to outsmart Okada.
CHAOS def. United Empire (13:45)
Wrestle Dynasty (July 8, 2023)
Also on the show:
Sabre-Gun (El Phantasmo, Mikey Nicholls & Shane Haste) (c) vs Ren Narita & Bishamon - NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
Aussie Open (c) vs CHAOS (Tomohiro Ishii & Shota Umino) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Jeff Cobb - IWGP United States Championship
Kazuchika Okada (c) vs Will Ospreay IX - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
Across 8 matches, Ospreay has never once beaten Okada cleanly, his only triumph coming from the night of his betrayal in the G1 3 years ago. But now, with a win over the man Okada failed to beat at Dominion, he’s in the best shape he’s ever been to end the reign of tyranny. The question is though, will he? Returning to Madison Square Garden for this historic show, the last time they were here Ospreay was losing to Cobb in a Winner Takes All opener, whilst Okada was winning back the IWGP Heavyweight Championship in the main event. This time, they’re equals.
Ospreay enters on a throne carried to the ring by UE, hamming up his Commonwealth Kingpin moniker and signalling the days of the Aerial Assassin to be long dead. Okada, on the other hand, is the same old Rainmaker, descending from the heavens on a platform, God mode in full effect. With pre-match introductions out the way, the bell rings, and the match gets underway! And in classic Okada/Ospreay fashion, Kazuchika expects to Big Brother Will with the Tanahashi/Okada-style headlock start… BUT OSPREAY RUSHES HIM WITH THE HIDDEN BLADE!!!
Caught off guard, Okada only barely evades him, but Ospreay moves like a lightning bolt, instantly transitioning to springboarding off the ropes for an OSCUTTER! Okada catches it and grabs the wrist, ripcording him into a RAINMAKER! Will ducks though, blasting him with a MARUFUJI HOOK KICK! Okada rocked, nails a SILENT WHISPER to the back of the head, before hooking the arms for the STORM BREAKER!!! But yet again, the Rainmaker barely gets out of dodge, shoving Will away and sliding outside for a breather!
Okada looks like he doesn’t know what’s just hit him, while Ospreay grins and mocks the Rainmaker pose. Snarling, Kazuchika slides back in and gets to trading blows with his challenger. Stiff elbows bounce off their heads in the centre of the ring, an Enzuigiri from Okada whiffing and a Handspring Enzuigiri from Will equally missing the mark! Kazu teases a Dropkick, causing Ospreay to leap, only to meet a stiff Uppercut once gravity gets hold of him.
Tossed into the ropes for a proper Dropkick attempt, Will instead slides to the apron and thunders in with a PIP PIP CHEERIO! A Running Shooting Star Press misses, Ospreay rolling through and racing back at Okada, though he’s launched onto the top turnbuckle. Again, a frustrated Okada wants the Dropkick, but Ospreay catches the leg and spins him around, nailing an INVERTED TORNADO DDT! Crunch. Here come the neck issues.
Okada dazed, nursing the injury in agony, Ospreay stomps the hell out of the neck, before connecting with a ROBINSON SPECIAL! He teases a follow-up OsCutter, Okada anticipating it, only to be faked into a SPIKE DDT! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Okada DDT’d the life out of Will last time, so Ospreay’s making sure to return the favour here. He goes for broke one too many times though, a Hangman’s DDT attempt ending in Okada spearing Ospreay across the ring and through the ropes, both smacking off the apron to the floor!
Turning feral ringside, Okada kicks Ospreay senseless like he’s Kaito, before forcefully connecting a DDT of his own! He whips Will at the guardrail for his patented Crossbody spot but Ospreay leaps over, a Silent Whisper staggering Okada, before an OSCUTTER SOARS IN… NOT THIS TIME – OKADA COUNTERS INTO A TOMBSTONE ON THE CONCRETE!!! Getting him back for the G1 Finals, Kazu smugly takes in the boos as Will twitches lifelessly at his feet.
Tossing him in, a MISSILE DROPKICK guns into his neck, before another BEAUTIFUL DROPKICK smacks into his chest, Okada finally in control! A Flapjack plants Will face-first and an AIR RAID CRASH NECKBREAKER again targets the famously-troubled neck of Ospreay! ONE! TWO! THR-NO DICE! Cinching in the MONEY CLIP, he continues working it over, Will sputtering and gasping for breaths as he reaches out at the ropes. Right as he finds himself inches from them though, a GERMAN SUPLEX dumps him on his neck!
Okada hits the pose, before dialling up the RAINMAKER… Ospreay snapmares him over, learning from last time to not back him up. and throws the HIDDEN BLADE!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOO!!! Racing up top, Will prepares a Shooting Star Press, though Okada sluggishly rolls to the apron as he grabs at his head. Deciding to change trajectories… OSPREAY NAILS A SUPER OSCUTTER TO THE FLOOR!!! Body aching yet determined, Will rolls back in, only to soar back out with a SASUKE SPECIAL!!!
Dragging Okada behind him, he drapes him over the top rope, heading back up to finally hit the BURNING STAR PRESS!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OKADA GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPE!!! Keeping his composure, Ospreay murders Okada’s face with Kawada Kicks, before a CHELSEA GRIN knocks him loopy… OSCUTTER INCOMING – OKADA COLLAPSES UNDER!!! Will smacks off the mat, not anticipating it, and lets out a pained grunt as both lay flat on their backs, New York roaring in approval!
Ospreay finds his feet first and tries to pick Okada from his knees, though it results in him being tripped into the ropes throat-first! DROPKICK MEETS OSPREAY AS HE TURNS AROUND! Okada’s noticeably slower than usual, though he doesn’t let it hinder him, picking Will up to nail a SHORT-ARM RAINMAKER! Ospreay stays upright, returning a forearm smash, but another SHORT-ARM RAINMAKER takes him down! Okada teases the finishing blow, though Will resists, prompting Kazu to spike him with a LANDSLIDE instead! ONE! TWO! THR-OSPREAY SURVIVES!
Hauling him right back up, Okada shoots again… WILL COUNTERS WITH AN OSCUTT- DROPKICKED OUT THE SKIES! Okada sets up the SPINNING RAINMAKER, but Ospreay nails the DISCUS ELBOW first! HOOK KICK drops him, before the HIDDEN BLADE closes in… OKADA DUCKS AND FIRES A JOHN WOO DROPKICK, SENDING OSPREAY INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER! AND A HESITATION DROPKICK – SHADES OF SHIBATA! Will in the drop zone, Okada gets an idea, heading up top… HIGH FLY FLOW!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Okada scowls, picking Will up for the TOMBSTONE… OSPREAY REVERSES INTO A HITODENASHI DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OKADA KICKS OUT!!! And now Ospreay hits the Rainmaker pose again! Securing wrist-control, he nails a RAINHAM MAKER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-STILL NO LUCK!!! Ospreay’s running out of options, though refuses to let his confidence waver, sticking to his gameplan. Mauling Okada’s arms, neck, and back with stomps, he picks him for only his second attempt at the ultimate final blow! OSPREAY WANTS STORM BREAKER!!!
Getting Okada up… KAZU DROPS OUT AND NAILS THE RAINMAKER!!! BUT HE CAN’T COVER, HAVING TO NURSE THE ARM! Both men returning to their feet at the same time, they knock each other dead with strikes, Okada scoring the ENZUIGIRI this time, Ospreay returning the POP-UP FOREARM SMASH! Tearing off the elbow pad, OSPREAY FIRES UP THE HIDDEN BLADE… OKADA COUNTERS INTO THE SPINNING EMERALD FLOWSION!!! NOT AGAIN – THIS COMBO ENDED WILL LAST TIME! Okada spells the end… RAINMAKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! THIS IS IT! TWO! MSG IS ON THEIR FEET! THRE… OSPREAY KICKS OUT!!! HE’S STILL IN IT!!!
Okada looks like he’s seen a ghost, a barely twitching Ospreay laying at his feet with one shoulder raised! Refusing to accept it, the Rainmaker lifts him back up, BEFORE NAILING ANOTHER ON A DEFENCELESS WILL! Ospreay on his knees, head bowed, Kazu lifts him up by the hair to lock gazes with Will’s glazed-over eyes, before throwing a THIRD AND FINAL- OSPREAY HITS THE RAINMAKER!!! Okada drops like he’s been shot!
And now Will realises this could be it. Struggling back up whilst maintaining wrist-control, he lets out a roar, before nailing a RIPCORD HIDDEN BLADE!!! Okada at his knees now, Will lifts his head up by the hair this time as Kazu dares him to finish him off, too weak to fight back… AND OSPREAY OBLIGES, FISHING HIM INTO A STORM BREAKERRRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! OSPREAY’S FINALLY DONE IT!!! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!
Will Ospreay def. Kazuchika Okada (c) to win the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (38:09)
MSG loses its mind as both men lay exhausted, UE rushing out to celebrate with their leader, helping him to his feet and handing him his prize. Golden tickertape hails from the rafters like Okada Dollars, Ospreay seated on a makeshift arm throne by Cobb and O-Khan, raising his title high, whilst Aussie Open and Catch 22 stand on either side, brandishing their respective titles too! And as Okada recovers, rolling out the ring and returning up the ramp, he locks eyes with Ospreay, giving him a look which reads “I’ll be back.” Will doesn’t let it phase him though. This is his night. He’s earned this moment.
G1 Climax 33
Not having to wait long for his first test, he enters his fourth G1 for the first time as reigning champion, redeeming the chance that a neck injury robbed him of in 2021. Heading A Block, he battles CHAOS’s Hiroshi Tanahashi on Night One, who tries to avenge Okada’s loss, though meets the same fate. Will dominates his block, dropping his first match after an undefeated 6 nights, losing to Katsuyori Shibata after their teased program last year at Forbidden Door! Still first though, having victimised SANADA, Shota Umino, EVIL, PAC, and KENTA along the way, he murders El Phantasmo on his 8th night, before meeting Tetsuya Naito in the Block Finals after a 5* duology last year! Finally, El Ingobernable avenges his past losses to punch his ticket to the Finals! As for B Block, a Shingo Takagi victory over Sabre puts him through, setting up a rematch from 2019’s G1 between Naito and Takagi for the Finals, adding fuel to the fire of LIJ’s already turbulent year with SANADA’s betrayal!
(Other key underlying stories are Naito’s loss to SANADA, KENTA beating Shibata in their first match as part of the TakeoveCHAOS feud, PAC finally returning to the ring as AEW’s representative to throw a spanner into LIJ’s works, Kaito taking Okada to a draw, Goto getting his win back over Okada, Sabre equalising his series with Taichi, and Yuya beating Yota in the first chapter of their Ace vs Dark Ace rivalry that’ll propel NJPW once Okada and Naito pass on the respective mantles.)
G1 Climax 33 Finals (August 13, 2023)
Also on this show:
Tetsuya Naito vs Shingo Takagi II - G1 Climax Finals
United Empire (Will Ospreay & Catch 22) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Yota Tsuji, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI)
With Naito returning last year’s favour of having the Finals robbed from him by Ospreay, Will instead faces his potential Wrestle Kingdom main event opponent’s factionmates, bringing longest-reigning IWGP Junior Tag Team Champions Catch 22 along for the ride. Whilst using the opportunity to run back his critically acclaimed rivalry with Hiromu Takahashi, he also makes an example out of NEVER Openweight Champion Yota Tsuji, cracking down on the New Generation star to remind Naito and Shingo what he plans to do to them, before pinning BUSHI for the win!
United Empire def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (14:10)
As UE celebrate their win… BANG! DOUBLE SUPERKICK TO OSPREAY! STEEL CHAIR TO TJP AND FRANCESCO AKIRA! THE ELITE IS HERE!!! No rest for the wicked, Omega plants his boot on Will’s head as he holds the IWGP World Title up, making his intentions crystal clear. His match with Okada ended without a clear victor, and so, he not only wants another crack at the belt, but to crush Ospreay to avenge Forbidden Door. And what better place to do that than Wembley Stadium!
RevPro 11 Year Anniversary Show (August 26, 2023)
Will Ospreay vs Ren Narita
Whilst Ospreay/Omega III is announced for the following night, Will takes care of business in Copper Box Arena the night prior against one Ren Narita, continuing to test out the youth of NJPW, having already faced Yuya, Yota, and Shota in the past month. With Shibata holding a win over Ospreay’s head, promising to be back for the victor of ALL IN’s main event, Will batters his student in the meantime to remind him who the best wrestler in the world is right now, a Hidden Blade slaying Ren!
Will Ospreay def. Ren Narita (16:07)
ALL IN: London (August 27, 2023)
Also on the show:
Zack Sabre Jr. (c)(c) vs Bryan Danielson – NJPW World Television/ROH Pure Championships
FTR (c) vs Aussie Open - AEW World Tag Team Championship
Will Ospreay (c) vs Kenny Omega III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
They’ve fought in Japan’s Tokyo Dome, Canada’s Scotiabank Arena, and now, they finally settle the score in England’s Wembley Stadium. 90,000 strong in attendance, there’s a clear crowd favourite here, football chants raining down for Ospreay. Omega decides to lean into it, tapping fully into his Cleaner look and tendencies with Devil’s Sky, absorbing the hatred. Will, on the other hand, receives a standing ovation in an emotional homecoming, prepared to prove his superiority over Omega once and for all and silence those accusing him of lucky past couple months.
The big first test for Will as champion starts with Kenny trying to get under Ospreay’s skin, stalling him out each time the Commonwealth Kingpin guns for him. Forcing him to work for his golden snitch, Kenny slides out and does jumping jacks until Will takes the bait, Omega quickly repossessing the ring, shutting Ospreay out. Will yells at the referee to back Kenny up, who obliges… ONLY TO EXPLODE FOR A V-TRIGGER THE MOMENT WILL RE-ENTERS!
Ospreay leapfrogs him and comes off the ropes with a hurricanrana, Omega cartwheeling through and throwing one back, Will handstanding out, though not fast enough, eating a DROPKICK TO THE FACE! Ospreay stunned, Kenny launches him into the corner and dogs on him with vicious kicks and stomps until the referee intervenes, Omega throwing one last chest-slicing chop! Incensed, Ospreay rushes out with forearms for Kenny, lighting him up, the Kawada Kicks finding their mark, before a CHELSEA GRIN’S BLOCKED BY A V-TRIGGER!
Ospreay shaking off his arm, Kenny capitalises with another V-TRIGGER, but Will ducks, nailing a Hook Kick, an OSCUTTER due to follow… OMEGA SUPERKICKS OSPREAY OVER THE ROPES! Will floored, a RISE OF THE TERMINATOR wipes him out! Gloating as England boos him, an even better idea crosses Kenny’s mind, sliding back in to nail a SASUKE SPECIAL! Nuclear heat. Battering Ospreay about the ring, he teases smashing his head through a table like WK17, though frantic back elbows force him off!
Kenny seeing stars, Ospreay attempts an OSCUTTER OFF THE GUARDRAIL- V-TRIGGER TO THE BASE OF THE SKULL SNIPES HIM!!! A sickening thud reverberating through the arena as Ospreay’s head snaps forward, a sadistic Kenny lays the section of railing on Will’s body… BEFORE CONNECTING A DIVING DOUBLE FOOT STOMP OFF THE APRON!!! Champion crushed, Omega cackles and dusts off his hands, before kissing Will’s title, eager to bring it home.
As Kenny taunts the crowd, Ospreay’s managed to feebly crawl out the rubble after the referee checking on him, though as Omega senses this, he’s immediately on his tail. Watching Will try to pull himself up using the steel post, KENNY CHARGES FOR ANOTHER V-TRIGGER… CRACK! OSPREAY MOVES OUT THE WAY, OMEGA’S KNEE HITTING THE STEEL INSTEAD!!! The Cleaner yowls in sheer agony as what was starting to look like another dominant showing takes a drastic left turn!
Realising this, Will quickly capitalises, grabbing Omega’s wrists from the opposite side of the post, pulling him up to his feet… Kenny hysterically tries to fight Ospreay off, begging him to spare him, realising what’s coming, WILL YANKING OMEGA HEAD-FIRST INTO THE POST!!! Bouncing it off it over and over again, now it’s Kenny that’s busted open! Omega collapsing back to his knees, Ospreay next grabs the leg and SMASHES KENNY’S KNEE INTO THE POST!!! THEN THE GUARDRAIL!!! AND BACK!!! There’s no mercy from Ospreay tonight.
Rolling Kenny in, he nails Omega’s YOU CAN’T ESCAPE! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Forcing Omega to use the bad leg to free himself, Will goes right back to targeting it, kicking the inside of the knee and slamming it against the mat! SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE LEG! Omega can’t even be whipped across the ring, collapsing half-way, a ROBINSON SPECIAL crushing him instead! AND A SLINGSHOT CUTTER! ONE! TWO! THR-NO LUCK!
Hooking the arms, Ospreay wants STORM BREAKER, but Omega counters into a hurricanrana pin for 2! A Running Knee Strike from Will comes up empty, Kenny flattening him with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! AND A SECOND! KOTARO KRUSHER FOLLOWS! Smacking the leg to keep up, an AOI SHOUDOU plants Ospreay! ONE! TWO! THR-WILL STAYS IN IT! A Doctor Bomb attempt is subdued, Ospreay hammering the knee to escape, before a ROUNDHOUSE cleans Kenny’s clock, a POISONED FRANKENSTEINER standing him up, and an ESSEX DESTROY- POP-UP V-TRIGGER!!!
Kenny desperately tries getting a limp Will on his shoulders for the ONE WINGED ANGEL, using the ropes for help, but Ospreay leans forwards, tumbling onto the apron to escape! SILENT WHISPER blasts Kenny… OMEGA THROWS A V-TRIGGER BACK, KNOCKING WILL OUT! Leg searing yet title more important, Kenny gingerly lifts Ospreay up the ropes with him, before going for OH GOD A MIDDLE ROPE CROYT’S WRATH!!! OSPREAY FLIPS TO HIS FEET!!!
The sneer on Omega’s face slowly fades as realisation strikes him, shades of Ibushi/Ospreay, Will not even giving him a chance to respond, HOOK KICK CONNECTING! OSCUTTERRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Frustrated, Ospreay hammers on the cut on Kenny’s forehead, painting his own chest with Omega’s blood, BEFORE REMOVING THE TURNBUCKLE PAD! He wants to return the favour from WK! Taking Kenny to the top rope, Ospreay teases a DDT onto the exposed steel… Omega slips between his legs to the mat and CROTCHES WILL ON THE METAL!!!
Kenny cackles as Ospreay howls, before packaging his head and nailing a CHEEKY NANDOS KICK! Blasting Will repeatedly, a V-TRIGGER FOLLOWS, SMASHING WILL’S HEAD INTO THE STEEL!!! AND HE SPINS HIM AROUND – AVALANCHE PHOENIX-PLEX!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Kenny beats on Will’s fresh cut, leaving both men bloody messes, before readying a V-TRIGGER… Ospreay grabs Omega’s foot! Pissed, Kenny shakes him off, nailing a STANDING V-TRIGGER straight to the cut, BEFORE SPIKING HIM WITH AN IBUSHI-STYLE BASTARD DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OSPREAY SURVIVES AGAIN!!!
Ospreay’s body limply leaning on the ropes, Kenny cocks and fires a V-TRIGGER, Will simply bouncing back head-first onto the Canadian! Setting him back, Omega takes another run-up, NAILING HIM WITH A SECOND IN SUCCESSION!!! The champion still out on his knees, twisted thoughts run through Kenny’s mind, prepping his elbow… HE WANTS TO CONCUSS WILL LIKE OSPREAY DID IBUSHI AT WK13!!! OMEGA THROWS THE HIDDEN BLADE… V-TRIGGER FROM OSPREAY!!! Sparking to life, he grabs the wrists and ripcords for a RAINHAM MAKER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KENNY’S STILL IN IT!!!
Omega on dream street, Ospreay locks and loads THE HIDDEN BLADE, CONNECTING FLUSH ON KENNY’S JAW!!! But as Will goes to cover, Omega collapses out the ring! Ospreay’s lets out a frustrated wail, but he makes the chase all the same, kicking the lifeless Kenny about ringside. A weak chop from Omega meets a sickening forearm, and a wild punch completely misses, Kenny’s legs giving out. TIGER SUPLEX DUMPS HIM ON THE FLOOR!!! Kenny now fully collapsed, Ospreay gets an idea… PULLING OUT A LADDER FROM UNDER THE RING!!!
Clearing the commentary table, he hoists The Cleaner onto it, before propping the ladder next-door and climbing! Sending a silent prayer to the skies, OSPREAY LAUNCHES OFF WITH A PHOENIX SPLASH, CONNECTING ALL OF IT!!! The crowd goes ballistic with the two men dead in the rubble, both unmoving for several seconds until Will finally faintly grins to himself for returning a taste of WK17’s table. Dragging himself inside, he flops into his corner, lying in wait for the challenger, who has the look of a soulless corpse once he finds his feet and locks eyes with Ospreay, barely rolling inside at 9 but immediately collapsing again.
Ready to end it, Will crawls over and lifts Kenny to his knees by the wrists, SCORING A KAMIGOYE-STYLE HIDDEN BLADE!!! Omega rocked, Ospreay backs up to his corner for seconds, BUT KENNY PULLS THE REFEREE INTO THE WAY! Will catches himself in time, pausing in his tracks, though is left exposed to a LOW BLOW!!! Wembley goes mental with boos as Kenny weakly chuckles, feebly clawing up to his feet up a confused referee to nail a V-TRIGGER!!! Lifting him by the wrists, a RAIN TRIGGER FOLLOWS!!! AND HE GETS THE ELECTRIC CHAIR AGAINST ALL ODDS… BUT HE COLLAPSES!!!
Omega shakes his head in denial, tearing up, his golden ticket in the palm of his hands! Heaving himself back up, he tries again, but Will anchors his body to the ground! Incredulous, he grabs Ospreay by the hair, who grins mockingly, AND SLAMS AN UGLY REAR KAMIGOYE INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!! COVER!!! ONE! T-KICK OUT!!! OSPREAY KICKS OUT AT ONE!!! Though still completely out of it, the act of sheer defiance certainly sees Kenny’s confidence shatter in real time, who like an unhinged animal beats on Ospreay’s forehead gash until Omega too collapses next to him!
In a last-ditch effort, he staggers to his feet and puts Will’s head between his legs, wanting a CLASSIC PILEDRIVER!!! OSPREAY HANDSTANDS OUT!!! Omega’s horrified- HIDDEN BLADE!!! ONE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! Kenny kneeled, Ospreay stands next to him, prepping the OsCutter, but Omega grabs him by the tights! No force in him though, he tells Will to look him in the eyes… AND HE FLIPS HIM OFF!!! SILENT WHISPER TO KENNY!!! AND AN OSCUTTER!!! Rolling through, he deadlifts him up, CONNECTING THE STORM BREAKERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
Will Ospreay (c) def. Kenny Omega to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (43:29)
At long last, it’s over. In front of his own people, the Commonwealth Kingpin has proven he’s Japan’s top gaijin and the most valuable wrestler today. Handed his gold, he watches as a prideful Omega refuses help, mustering up the strength to drag himself up using the ropes, before meeting Will’s gaze. At the end of the first match, he gloated. At the end of the second, he was crushed. But now? He gives Will a subtle nod of respect, officially passing the torch as he takes his bow, leaving Ospreay to take over the world.
Whilst he may have knocked down his two biggest obstacles in Okada and Omega, a dark horse third awaits him back in Japan by the name of Katsuyori Shibata! The only other individual to beat Will in the G1 other than the winner himself, he calls him out for a shot, still waiting on a reign of his own. A determined Ospreay doesn’t back down, though when he goes for a rare show of respect in a press conference heading in, extending a hand as the bigger man, Shibata outright refuses to shake! Seeing through Will’s superficialness, he declares that he owes Ospreay no respect, refusing to accept him as the company’s face that they’ve so desperately tried to mould him into. He was held back for choosing to carve his own path away from the Musketeers, and now he’s going to stick it to the company by exposing their golden boy like Sakura Genesis 2017! Will grits his teeth but says nothing, knowing he’ll just need to prove himself again.
Wrestle Grand Slam in Belluna Dome (September 10, 2023)
Also on the show:
Yota Tsuji (c) vs Yuya Uemura - NEVER Openweight Championship
Catch 22 (c) vs CHAOS (SHO & Taiji Ishimori) - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship
Aussie Open (c) vs FTR - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Will Ospreay (c) vs Katsuyori Shibata III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
In only the third IWGP World Title match of his career, 6 years since the infamous incident, The Wrestler receives a chance to redeem all the troubles he was put through and avenge his pupil Narita in the process. As for Ospreay, having lost to Shibata in both their matches in 2017 and 2023 respectively, he must carve out his spot definitively by knocking down another of his white whales. Taking place interestingly in KENTA’s hometown, Katsuyori’s even more driven to stick it to the man he despises most and lost to in the G1 by winning here, a pair of rather simple, stoic entrances setting the tone for the main event.
Initially, just like the G1, Shibata starts by beating the hell out of the much younger star to humble him, though Ospreay’s much quicker to put up his fists this time, learning. Youthful arrogance sees him get a couple teeth knocked down his throat though, his patented elbows instantly receiving a much stiffer receipt from Shibata, dropping him dead! Unable to outstrike the most dangerous man in New Japan, Will instead leans on his weight advantage, brutally slamming him down with London Has Fallen and scoring a vicious Liger Bomb to boot. Growing comfortable, he attempts the OsCutter, BUT IS CAUGHT WITH A SLEEPER!
Choked to a plum colour, the finishing PK narrowly misses, Ospreay dropping him with an ESSEX DESTROYER instead! Cruelling focusing on the skull, Will regains advantage, getting nasty with Kawada Kicks and a CHELSEA GRIN that rocks Shibata! An aerial attempt is again blocked, Shibata evading a Shooting Star Press and simply slapping the hell out of Will! A B*TCHMAKER almost ends him, Katsuyori mocking him as a lesser Okada, but Will takes it personally, rocking him with a brutal Running Knee Strike and nailing a SPIKE PILEDRIVER! Shibata on his knees, inviting Will to give him his best, a (protected) HIDDEN BLADE cracks him upside the head, Ospreay knocking the striker out cold for 3 to retain!
Will Ospreay (c) def. Katsuyori Shibata to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (31:46)
Doubt him, and you’ll be made to regret it. Though earlier in the night, Catch 22’s legendary reign came to an end, United Empire is stronger than ever with Ospreay taking down a murderer’s row of competition. Selling out MSG, Wembley, and a Dome, he only continues to elevate to higher heights. Whilst Shibata is left to be mugged by KENTA to close the show, Will can walk away proud of himself, on the run of a lifetime.
With the Burning Spirit tour up next leading into a second homecoming in one reign for Ospreay at Royal Quest III, there’s one man in particular that’s been barking up his tree as of late, and that’s the NJPW World Television and ROH Pure Champion Zack Sabre Jr.! Someone who’s been a thorn in Will’s side every step of the way and vice versa, he’s not content holding just two titles, wanting to reclaim his status as Zacky Three Belts, and what better way to do that than with the World Championship! Citing his far superior record and win in their last meeting in 2022’s New Japan Cup, Ospreay grants him a chance to show how deserving he truly is.
Burning Spirit - Night Six (September 23, 2023)
Birds of Prey (Will Ospreay & Robbie Eagles) vs Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr. & Gabriel Kidd)
Will picking his close friend Robbie Eagles to join him (who defected to United Empire during CHAOS’s rebranding after dissension with Lio Rush over Sakura Genesis’s IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship shot), Sabre chooses an interesting ally of his own in Sabre-Gun’s rising star Gabriel Kidd! Zack’s empire slowly growing across 2023 with the additions of El Phantasmo, El Desperado, TMDK, Blake Christian, Clark Connors, and Kosei Fujita, Kidd’s been another that’s greatly impressed since his return from excursion, joining Zack in a tag on the G1 Finals Night to officially become part of the stable, playing off their history of fighting until respect was reached. Originally set to challenge Ospreay for his RevPro Undisputed British Heavyweight Championship last year until a mental health break cancelled those plans, unfinished business stands between the two, Kidd still looking to get Will back for chipping his elbow in a Ladder match back in WCPW 6 years ago.
The animosity between the two very much shows here, as even with Ospreay ascending to untouchable heights in the past year, he’s still the same Will to Kidd, who incessantly targets him throughout the match, wanting his pound of flesh. Will, of course, outclasses him, using his incredible chemistry with Eagles to keep Gabriel at bay, though their shifted focus does open the doors for ZSJ to employ his cunning, bending Ospreay’s arm over the guardrail with an Article 50 before massacring Robbie, an Orienteering With Napalm Death decisively tapping him out! Holding up all three belts as a hurt Will composes himself, Zack sends a definitive statement of things to come.
Sabre-Gun def. Birds of Prey (14:25)
Royal Quest III - Night Two (October 8, 2023)
Also on the tour:
Aussie Open (c) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Tetsuya Naito & Shingo Takagi) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Jon Moxley (c) vs Katsuyori Shibata - IWGP United States Championship
Will Ospreay (c) vs Zack Sabre Jr. XVI - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
And so, for the 16th time ever, Ospreay and Sabre are set to go head-to-head! The record 9-6 in Zack’s favour, the Windy Man is nothing short of wholly confident in his own abilities, whilst Will once more enters with a chip on his shoulder, needing to show himself he’s outgrown Sabre for good. For once, London is split directly down the middle between these two, both men having grown up an hour either side from the venue, each in a completely different position since their last meeting, Ospreay on top as the World Champion and Okada-beater, and Sabre now heading a stable of his own like Will, with NJPW singles gold of his own like Will.
Duelling chants of United Empire and Sabre-Gun, both men are perhaps at their most ruthless they’ve been all year here, which is saying something for Ospreay considering his clashes with Omega, the hatred he shows Sabre unlike anything he’s felt for anyone else, wanting to wipe the sneer off his face. He had Okada figured, he had Omega figured, he even eventually had Shibata figured, but ZSJ is one puzzle which feels like running into a brick wall for Captain Dyslexia, the Technical Wizard tying the champion up into knots that are unheard of!
Taunting, bullying, torturing, Sabre picks Ospreay apart with such drive and intensity that it becomes crystal clear just how starved he’s been of NJPW’s top title. Conversely, Will’s just forced to do his best, picking his spots to remind the world he’s still very much in there, not letting the challenger shake him down to his core. A Selected Technical Works Vol 2. does get Ospreay in a bind, though he shows progression from all his matches with Sabre, managing to hang with him technically just enough to survive, forcing Zack to keep switching up his submissions. A European Clutch gets the closest call though, ZSJ very nearly flash-pinning Will for the strap!
That unlocks a whole other beast inside Ospreay, exploding with an uninterrupted 5-minute stretch of offence that has Sabre utterly overwhelmed, Will standing his ground! A HIDDEN BLADE nearly captures another victim, though the impact’s cushioned by Ospreay’s damaged arm dating back to their tag, keeping Zack alive! Still, Will keeps pushing, solely working a striking game despite the searing pain in his limbs, all in the name of strategy, managing to convince an overconfident Sabre to strike with him, though as has been a recurring theme in 2023, Zack gets mauled! And with his guard let ever so slightly down, the hyperfocus on an Article 50 gives way to a STORM BREAKER after being broken on the mat! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
Will Ospreay (c) def. Zack Sabre Jr. to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (33:50)
Yet again, it’s Ospreay that rules the kingdom with world-class wrestling acumen! As Will collects his title, Sabre cursing under his breath and vowing to be back someday as he leaves with his own two… OUT COMES SHINGO!!! Losing with Naito against Aussie Open for the Tag Titles earlier in the night, the two growing more distant with each other ever since SANADA’s LIJ betrayal put the faction on shaky grounds, Naito’s G1 Finals victory over Shingo only causing further dissension, which they failed to smooth over against the Aussies, the Dragon’s reaching his last wits. And as he eyes Ospreay’s title, it’s clear what he’s here for.
Not receiving a rematch ever since losing the title at Wrestle Kingdom 16, he’s been kept on an empty stomach long enough, his patience wearing thin. Extending a challenge to Will, he wants to be the one walking into WK defending the strap against Naito! Ospreay, uber-confident in his ability to slay his rival once more, accepts!
Battle Autumn - Night Eight (October 23, 2023)
United Empire (Will Ospreay, Jeff Cobb, Aussie Open) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Tetsuya Naito, Yota Tsuji, Hiromu Takahashi)
The Battle Autumn tour pits UE and LIJ against each other in various tags, with Ospreay and co. winning every single one thus far, the issues between Takagi and Naito even spilling into here whilst the rest of LIJ tries to play the role of mediator. With UE dominating and Shingo’s shot mere days away though, they agree something needs to change. And so, for the sake of the greater LIJ family, they do their best to stay out of each other’s ways, finally stringing together some respectable momentum.
As Aussie Open goes for the Coriolis on Naito, Shingo bursts in off tagging Tetsuya’s back, nailing a PUMPING BOMBER on Davis to knock Tetsuya off his shoulders, before a Pumping BombeDestino combo on Kyle and a LAST OF THE DRAGON breaks the LIJ curse, though going right back to sharing tense stares, Naito ultimately nodding to Shingo, wishing him luck. Ospreay, however, stands unfazed, knowing Takagi’s the one with the chip on his shoulder this time.
Los Ingobernables de Japon def. United Empire (18:38)
2023.05.28 02:02 guru_zim Fujifilm gets govt. contract for iPSC cells 5/26
https://sam.gov/opp/36060c9dc78f4207aa34f80621802998/view
(ii) The solicitation number is 75N95023Q00352 and the solicitation is issued as a request for quotation (RFQ). The anticipated award date is May 31, 2023.
This acquisition is for a commercial item or service and is conducted under the authority of the Federal Acquisition Regulation (FAR) Part 13—Simplified Acquisition Procedures; and FAR Part 12—Acquisition of Commercial Items, and is not expected to exceed the simplified acquisition threshold.
THIS IS A NON-COMPETITIVE (NOTICE OF INTENT) COMBINED SYNOPSIS SOLICITATION TO AWARD A CONTRACT OR PURCHASE ORDER WITHOUT PROVIDING FOR FULL OR OPEN COMPETITION (INCLUDING BRAND-NAME).
The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), Office of Acquisition (OA), on behalf of the National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences (NCATS), intends to negotiate and award a purchase order without providing for full and open competition (including brand-name) to FUJIFILM CELLULAR DYNAMICS, INC., 465 SCIENCE DR., MADISON, WI 53711, 608-310-5100 for Induced pluripotent stem cell (iPSC) derived human neurons and astrocytes.
This acquisition is conducted as non-competitive for a commercial item or service and is conducted pursuant to FAR 13.106-1(b)(1).
The rationale for the brand-name justification is based on vendor previous supply of iPSC derived human neurons and astrocytes. NCATS has extensively characterized them in current assay protocol with a robust HTS compatible neuronal spheroid model using iPSC derived neurons (glutamatergic, GABAergic, and dopaminergic) and iPSC derived astrocytes for robust cultures for investigating viral infection.
(iii) The solicitation document and incorporated provisions and clauses are those in effect through Federal Acquisition Circular (FAC) Number 2023-02, with effective date 03/16/2023.
(iv) The associated NAICS code is 325414 Biological Product (except Diagnostic) Manufacturing and the small business size standard is 1,000 employees. This requirement is not set-aside to small business.
(v) The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is the nation’s leading medical research agency and the primary Federal agency whose mission is to seek fundamental knowledge about the nature and behavior of living systems and the application of that knowledge to enhance health, lengthen life, and reduce illness and disability, conducting, supporting and making medical discoveries that improve people’s health and save lives.
NCATS is one of 27 Institutes and Centers at the NIH and its mission is to catalyze the generation of innovative methods and technologies that will enhance the development, testing and implementation of diagnostics and therapeutics across a wide range of human diseases and conditions.
The NCATS DPI plans and conducts collaborative research projects across the preclinical phases of the translational science spectrum, using both internal and contract resources to advance them.
The NCATS DPI ETB’s goal is to uncover new small molecule therapeutics and advance the process of therapeutic development through a model of collaborative research. For each collaboration, external disease experts team with the ETB’s drug discovery teams, who provide access to small molecule screening, medicinal chemistry and informatics expertise.
Moreover, NCATS has become a key partner in the Antiviral Program for Pandemics (APP), a multi-agency initiative that includes National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) and Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority (BARDA), to accelerate antiviral development through early discovery and preclinical development of safe and effective oral antivirals. The initial priority for the APP is to develop treatments for SARS-CoV-2 and other coronaviruses, with the program expanding to address other virus families with pandemic potential. NCATS will apply its proficiency in drug discovery and development and its cutting-edge technologies to fill critical needs of the APP, such as (i) target validation, (ii) high-throughput screening (HTS) for drug starting points, (iii) medicinal chemistry for lead optimization, and (iv) preclinical, investigational new drug (IND)-enabling development
The APP is tasked with identifying and developing antivirals for a variety of viruses of outbreak and pandemic potential, including a number of neurotrophic viruses (e.g. encephalitic bunyavirales viruses, flaviviruses, alphaviruses). NCATS has developed a robust HTS compatible neuronal spheroid model using iPSC derived neurons (glutamatergic, GABAergic, and dopaminergic) and iPSC derived astrocytes for robust cultures for investigating viral infection. NCATS has developed this model specifically using FujiFilm/CDI iPSC derived neurons and astrocytes.
Thus, NCATS DPI ETB requires Induced pluripotent stem cell (iPSC) human cell-derived differentiated cells for high-throughput screening (HTS) for fluorescent imaging plate reader (FLIPR) and functional screening as well as viral infections.
(vi) The Purchase Description (PD) with a description of the products to be acquired is included as an attachment to this Solicitation.
The Early Translation Branch (ETB), under the Division of Preclinical Innovation (DPI), within the National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences (NCATS) seeks to purchase Induced pluripotent stem cell (iPSC) derived human neurons and astrocytes for high-throughput screening (HTS) for fluorescent imaging plate reader (FLIPR) and functional screening as well as viral infections for use in DPI- Antiviral Program for Pandemics (APP) Biology Antiviral Drug Development IDDA DPI (8051491).
(vii) The Government anticipates award of a firm fixed-price purchase order for this acquisition, and delivery shall be within thirty (30) days after receipt of order (ARO), FOB Destination to 9800 Medical Center Drive, Rockville, MD, 20850 between the hours of 8:00 am and 5:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time, Monday through Friday (except on Federal Holidays).
(viii) The provision at FAR 52.252-1, Solicitation Provisions Incorporated by Reference (Feb 1998), applies to this acquisition. This solicitation incorporates one or more solicitation provisions by reference, with the same force and effect as if they were given in full text. Upon request, the Contracting Officer will make their full text available. The offeror is cautioned that the listed provisions may include blocks that must be completed by the offeror and submitted with its quotation or offer. In lieu of submitting the full text of those provisions, the offeror may identify the provision by paragraph identifier and provide the appropriate information with its quotation or offer. Also, the full text of a solicitation provision may be accessed electronically at these addresses: https://www.acquisition.gov/browse/index/far https://www.hhs.gov/grants/contracts/contract-policies-regulations/hhsaindex.html (End of provision)
The following provisions apply to this acquisition and are incorporated by reference:
https://www.acquisition.gov/browse/index/far https://www.hhs.gov/grants/contracts/contract-policies-regulations/hhsaindex.html
(End of clause)
The following clauses apply to this acquisition and are incorporated by reference:
The government reserves the right to select a response that provides benefit to the government that exceeds the minimum; the government is not required to select a response that exceeds the minimum; responses may exceed the requirements; each response must meet the solicitation requirement statement at a minimum; and the government is not requesting or accepting alternate proposal(s).
(x) The Offerors are to include a completed copy of the provision at FAR 52.212-3, Offeror Representations and Certifications-Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Dec 2022), with offers. If the offeror has completed FAR provision 52.212-3 at www.sam.gov, then the offeror does not need to provide a completed copy with its offer.
(xi) The clause at FAR 52.212-4, Contract Terms and Conditions—Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Dec 2022), applies to this acquisition. Addendum to this FAR clause applies to this acquisition and is attached.
(xii) The following additional contract requirement(s) or terms and conditions as determined by the contracting officer are necessary for this acquisition and consistent with customary commercial practices.
The acquisition and supply of all human specimen material (including fetal material) used under this contract shall be obtained by the Contractor in full compliance with applicable State and Local laws and the provisions of the Uniform Anatomical Gift Act in the United States, and no undue inducements, monetary or otherwise, will be offered to any person to influence their donation of human material.
(xiii) The Defense Priorities and Allocations System (DPAS) are not applicable to this requirement.
(xiv) This synopsis is not a request for competitive proposals. However, interested parties may identify their interest and capability to respond to this notice. Responses to this solicitation must include sufficient information to establish the interested parties’ bona-fide capabilities of providing the product. The price quote shall include: unit price, list price, shipping and handling costs, delivery days after contract award, delivery terms, prompt payment discount terms, F.O.B. Point (Destination or Origin), product or catalog number(s), product description, and any other information or factors that may be considered in the award decision. Such factors may include past performance, special features required for effective program performance, trade-in considerations, probable life of the item selected as compared with that of a comparable item, warranty considerations, maintenance availability, and environmental and energy efficiency considerations
Responses to this solicitation must include sufficient information to establish the interested parties’ bona-fide capabilities of providing the service. The quote must be for a firm-fixed-price total amount inclusive of all costs and fees and include. any other information or factors that may be considered in the award decision.
The Unique Entity ID from SAM.gov, the Taxpayer Identification Number (TIN), and the certification of business size must be included in the response. All offerors must have an active registration in the System for Award Management (SAM) www.sam.gov.
All quotations must be received by 9 a.m., Eastern Time, on May 31, 2023, and reference Solicitation Number 75N95023Q00352. Responses must be submitted electronically to Renato Gomes at [email protected].
Fax responses will not be accepted.
Attachments:
submitted by guru_zim to ATHX [link] [comments]
Induced pluripotent stem cell (iPSC) derived human neurons and astrocytes. (Brand-Name)
Classification
- Original Set Aside:
- Product Service Code: 6505 - DRUGS AND BIOLOGICALS
- NAICS Code:
- 325414 - Biological Product (except Diagnostic) Manufacturing
- Place of Performance:Rockville , MD 20850USA
Description
(i) This is a combined synopsis/solicitation for commercial items prepared in accordance with the format in Subpart 12.6 as supplemented with additional information included in this notice. This announcement constitutes the only solicitation; proposals are being requested and a written solicitation will not be issued.(ii) The solicitation number is 75N95023Q00352 and the solicitation is issued as a request for quotation (RFQ). The anticipated award date is May 31, 2023.
This acquisition is for a commercial item or service and is conducted under the authority of the Federal Acquisition Regulation (FAR) Part 13—Simplified Acquisition Procedures; and FAR Part 12—Acquisition of Commercial Items, and is not expected to exceed the simplified acquisition threshold.
THIS IS A NON-COMPETITIVE (NOTICE OF INTENT) COMBINED SYNOPSIS SOLICITATION TO AWARD A CONTRACT OR PURCHASE ORDER WITHOUT PROVIDING FOR FULL OR OPEN COMPETITION (INCLUDING BRAND-NAME).
The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), Office of Acquisition (OA), on behalf of the National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences (NCATS), intends to negotiate and award a purchase order without providing for full and open competition (including brand-name) to FUJIFILM CELLULAR DYNAMICS, INC., 465 SCIENCE DR., MADISON, WI 53711, 608-310-5100 for Induced pluripotent stem cell (iPSC) derived human neurons and astrocytes.
This acquisition is conducted as non-competitive for a commercial item or service and is conducted pursuant to FAR 13.106-1(b)(1).
The rationale for the brand-name justification is based on vendor previous supply of iPSC derived human neurons and astrocytes. NCATS has extensively characterized them in current assay protocol with a robust HTS compatible neuronal spheroid model using iPSC derived neurons (glutamatergic, GABAergic, and dopaminergic) and iPSC derived astrocytes for robust cultures for investigating viral infection.
(iii) The solicitation document and incorporated provisions and clauses are those in effect through Federal Acquisition Circular (FAC) Number 2023-02, with effective date 03/16/2023.
(iv) The associated NAICS code is 325414 Biological Product (except Diagnostic) Manufacturing and the small business size standard is 1,000 employees. This requirement is not set-aside to small business.
(v) The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is the nation’s leading medical research agency and the primary Federal agency whose mission is to seek fundamental knowledge about the nature and behavior of living systems and the application of that knowledge to enhance health, lengthen life, and reduce illness and disability, conducting, supporting and making medical discoveries that improve people’s health and save lives.
NCATS is one of 27 Institutes and Centers at the NIH and its mission is to catalyze the generation of innovative methods and technologies that will enhance the development, testing and implementation of diagnostics and therapeutics across a wide range of human diseases and conditions.
The NCATS DPI plans and conducts collaborative research projects across the preclinical phases of the translational science spectrum, using both internal and contract resources to advance them.
The NCATS DPI ETB’s goal is to uncover new small molecule therapeutics and advance the process of therapeutic development through a model of collaborative research. For each collaboration, external disease experts team with the ETB’s drug discovery teams, who provide access to small molecule screening, medicinal chemistry and informatics expertise.
Moreover, NCATS has become a key partner in the Antiviral Program for Pandemics (APP), a multi-agency initiative that includes National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) and Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority (BARDA), to accelerate antiviral development through early discovery and preclinical development of safe and effective oral antivirals. The initial priority for the APP is to develop treatments for SARS-CoV-2 and other coronaviruses, with the program expanding to address other virus families with pandemic potential. NCATS will apply its proficiency in drug discovery and development and its cutting-edge technologies to fill critical needs of the APP, such as (i) target validation, (ii) high-throughput screening (HTS) for drug starting points, (iii) medicinal chemistry for lead optimization, and (iv) preclinical, investigational new drug (IND)-enabling development
The APP is tasked with identifying and developing antivirals for a variety of viruses of outbreak and pandemic potential, including a number of neurotrophic viruses (e.g. encephalitic bunyavirales viruses, flaviviruses, alphaviruses). NCATS has developed a robust HTS compatible neuronal spheroid model using iPSC derived neurons (glutamatergic, GABAergic, and dopaminergic) and iPSC derived astrocytes for robust cultures for investigating viral infection. NCATS has developed this model specifically using FujiFilm/CDI iPSC derived neurons and astrocytes.
Thus, NCATS DPI ETB requires Induced pluripotent stem cell (iPSC) human cell-derived differentiated cells for high-throughput screening (HTS) for fluorescent imaging plate reader (FLIPR) and functional screening as well as viral infections.
(vi) The Purchase Description (PD) with a description of the products to be acquired is included as an attachment to this Solicitation.
The Early Translation Branch (ETB), under the Division of Preclinical Innovation (DPI), within the National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences (NCATS) seeks to purchase Induced pluripotent stem cell (iPSC) derived human neurons and astrocytes for high-throughput screening (HTS) for fluorescent imaging plate reader (FLIPR) and functional screening as well as viral infections for use in DPI- Antiviral Program for Pandemics (APP) Biology Antiviral Drug Development IDDA DPI (8051491).
(vii) The Government anticipates award of a firm fixed-price purchase order for this acquisition, and delivery shall be within thirty (30) days after receipt of order (ARO), FOB Destination to 9800 Medical Center Drive, Rockville, MD, 20850 between the hours of 8:00 am and 5:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time, Monday through Friday (except on Federal Holidays).
(viii) The provision at FAR 52.252-1, Solicitation Provisions Incorporated by Reference (Feb 1998), applies to this acquisition. This solicitation incorporates one or more solicitation provisions by reference, with the same force and effect as if they were given in full text. Upon request, the Contracting Officer will make their full text available. The offeror is cautioned that the listed provisions may include blocks that must be completed by the offeror and submitted with its quotation or offer. In lieu of submitting the full text of those provisions, the offeror may identify the provision by paragraph identifier and provide the appropriate information with its quotation or offer. Also, the full text of a solicitation provision may be accessed electronically at these addresses: https://www.acquisition.gov/browse/index/far https://www.hhs.gov/grants/contracts/contract-policies-regulations/hhsaindex.html (End of provision)
The following provisions apply to this acquisition and are incorporated by reference:
- FAR 52.204-7, System for Award Management (Oct 2018)
- FAR 52.204-16, Commercial and Government Entity Code Reporting (Aug 2020)
- FAR 52.211-6, Brand Name or Equal (Aug 1999)
- FAR 52.212-1, Instructions to Offerors—Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Nov 2021)
- FAR 52.212-3, Offeror Representations and Certifications—Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Dec 2023)
- FAR 52.214-34 Submission of Offers in the English Language (Apr 1991)
- FAR 52.214-35 Submission of Offers in U.S. Currency (Apr 1991)
- FAR 52.225-25 Prohibition on Contracting With Entities Engaging in Certain Activities or Transactions Relating to Iran—Representation and Certifications (Jun 2020)
- HHSAR 352.239-73, Electronic and Information Technology Accessibility Notice (December 18, 2015)
https://www.acquisition.gov/browse/index/far https://www.hhs.gov/grants/contracts/contract-policies-regulations/hhsaindex.html
(End of clause)
The following clauses apply to this acquisition and are incorporated by reference:
- FAR 52.204-13, System for Award Management Maintenance (Oct 2018)
- FAR 52.204-18, Commercial and Government Entity Code Maintenance (Aug 2020)
- FAR 52.212-4, Contract Terms and Conditions—Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Dec 2022). Addendum to this FAR clause applies to this acquisition and is attached.
- FAR 52.225-2 Buy American Certificate (Oct 2022)
- FAR 52.225-13 Restrictions on Certain Foreign Purchases (Feb 2021)
- HHSAR 352.239-74, Electronic and Information Technology Accessibility (December 18, 2015)
- FAR 52.204-24 Representation Regarding Certain Telecommunications and Video Surveillance Services or Equipment (Nov 2021)
- FAR 52.204-26 Covered Telecommunications Equipment or Services-Representation (Oct 2020)
- FAR 52.212-5, Contract Terms and Conditions Required to Implement Statutes or Executive Orders-Commercial Products and Commercial Services (May 2022)
- Invoice and Payment Provisions with and without IPP (Mar 2023)
- FAR 52.225-2 Buy American Certificate (Oct 2022)
The government reserves the right to select a response that provides benefit to the government that exceeds the minimum; the government is not required to select a response that exceeds the minimum; responses may exceed the requirements; each response must meet the solicitation requirement statement at a minimum; and the government is not requesting or accepting alternate proposal(s).
(x) The Offerors are to include a completed copy of the provision at FAR 52.212-3, Offeror Representations and Certifications-Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Dec 2022), with offers. If the offeror has completed FAR provision 52.212-3 at www.sam.gov, then the offeror does not need to provide a completed copy with its offer.
(xi) The clause at FAR 52.212-4, Contract Terms and Conditions—Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Dec 2022), applies to this acquisition. Addendum to this FAR clause applies to this acquisition and is attached.
(xii) The following additional contract requirement(s) or terms and conditions as determined by the contracting officer are necessary for this acquisition and consistent with customary commercial practices.
The acquisition and supply of all human specimen material (including fetal material) used under this contract shall be obtained by the Contractor in full compliance with applicable State and Local laws and the provisions of the Uniform Anatomical Gift Act in the United States, and no undue inducements, monetary or otherwise, will be offered to any person to influence their donation of human material.
(xiii) The Defense Priorities and Allocations System (DPAS) are not applicable to this requirement.
(xiv) This synopsis is not a request for competitive proposals. However, interested parties may identify their interest and capability to respond to this notice. Responses to this solicitation must include sufficient information to establish the interested parties’ bona-fide capabilities of providing the product. The price quote shall include: unit price, list price, shipping and handling costs, delivery days after contract award, delivery terms, prompt payment discount terms, F.O.B. Point (Destination or Origin), product or catalog number(s), product description, and any other information or factors that may be considered in the award decision. Such factors may include past performance, special features required for effective program performance, trade-in considerations, probable life of the item selected as compared with that of a comparable item, warranty considerations, maintenance availability, and environmental and energy efficiency considerations
Responses to this solicitation must include sufficient information to establish the interested parties’ bona-fide capabilities of providing the service. The quote must be for a firm-fixed-price total amount inclusive of all costs and fees and include. any other information or factors that may be considered in the award decision.
The Unique Entity ID from SAM.gov, the Taxpayer Identification Number (TIN), and the certification of business size must be included in the response. All offerors must have an active registration in the System for Award Management (SAM) www.sam.gov.
All quotations must be received by 9 a.m., Eastern Time, on May 31, 2023, and reference Solicitation Number 75N95023Q00352. Responses must be submitted electronically to Renato Gomes at [email protected].
Fax responses will not be accepted.
Attachments:
- Purchase Description
- FAR 52.204-24, Representation Regarding Certain Telecommunications and Video Surveillance Services or Equipment (Nov 2021)
- FAR 52.204-26, Covered Telecommunications Equipment or Services-Representation (Oct 2020)
- Addendum to FAR 52.212-4 Contract Terms and Conditions—Commercial Products and Commercial Services.
- FAR 52.212-5, Contract Terms and Conditions Required to Implement Statutes or Executive Orders–Commercial Products and Commercial Services (Mar 2023)
- FAR 52.225-2 Buy American Certificate (Oct 2022)
- Invoice and Payment Provisions with and without IPP (Apr 2022)
2023.05.27 21:45 Historical-Guess-952 Glitter and the Ghostly Gadget
Life at the "Silicon Valley", the ironically named strip joint I moonlighted at, (level 5 Janitor) was a bizarre blend of glitter, dollar bills, and lost dignity. And then, one fateful night, I found a USB drive that added a new ingredient: lunacy.
The USB, worn and sporting a logo that looked like a red laughing devil, lay forgotten under the sticky bar counter. Naturally, being a connoisseur of chaos, (that's what my mom calls me) I decided to plug it into my laptop when I got home.
The only file on it was labeled "ShakeWhatYaMamaGaveYou.txt". It contained binary code which, upon translation, said: “24 hours. Pass it on. Shake it, don’t break it.”
Of course, at that very moment, my laptop went dark and the USB got stuck like a stubborn piece of glitter on a sweaty dancer's, uh, arm. But I wasn't about to let a rebellious USB put a damper on my evening. I had a date with some pizza roles in the freezer.
That night, I dreamt of spectral figures gyrating on poles and a ghostly DJ chanting a countdown. I woke up feeling like I’d gone ten rounds with a mechanical bull. My laptop was still dead and the USB remained stubbornly stuck.
Over the next days, every electronic I touched started malfunctioning like a drunk customer on dollar-draft night. My microwave, my electric toothbrush, even my precious transformers collection - everything went haywire!
Now, I'm writing this on the trusty old typewriter in the club’s office to later be faxed and uploaded to reddit for precious internet points.
So here's my advice: If you ever see a sketchy USB at your workplace, don’t plug it in. Especially if your workplace involves disco balls and dance poles.
And to the lucky person who finds the USB that I've casually tossed on a city bus...you've been warned. Keep it far, far away from your transformers collection. Or else......
submitted by Historical-Guess-952 to shittynosleep [link] [comments]
The USB, worn and sporting a logo that looked like a red laughing devil, lay forgotten under the sticky bar counter. Naturally, being a connoisseur of chaos, (that's what my mom calls me) I decided to plug it into my laptop when I got home.
The only file on it was labeled "ShakeWhatYaMamaGaveYou.txt". It contained binary code which, upon translation, said: “24 hours. Pass it on. Shake it, don’t break it.”
Of course, at that very moment, my laptop went dark and the USB got stuck like a stubborn piece of glitter on a sweaty dancer's, uh, arm. But I wasn't about to let a rebellious USB put a damper on my evening. I had a date with some pizza roles in the freezer.
That night, I dreamt of spectral figures gyrating on poles and a ghostly DJ chanting a countdown. I woke up feeling like I’d gone ten rounds with a mechanical bull. My laptop was still dead and the USB remained stubbornly stuck.
Over the next days, every electronic I touched started malfunctioning like a drunk customer on dollar-draft night. My microwave, my electric toothbrush, even my precious transformers collection - everything went haywire!
Now, I'm writing this on the trusty old typewriter in the club’s office to later be faxed and uploaded to reddit for precious internet points.
So here's my advice: If you ever see a sketchy USB at your workplace, don’t plug it in. Especially if your workplace involves disco balls and dance poles.
And to the lucky person who finds the USB that I've casually tossed on a city bus...you've been warned. Keep it far, far away from your transformers collection. Or else......
2023.05.27 20:06 Frank_Leroux Molossus, Chapter Thirteen
One nice side-effect of the lifting of secrecy was that the entire team (human and alien) could now be reassigned to somewhere more palatial than a sealed-off side-entrance into a hollowed-out mountain. But where, oh where, to put them? What was needed was someplace A) which was much nicer than a tunnel (humanity must treat our alien guests properly, after all) and B) was already set up with the necessary security precautions and secure communications in and out.
In the end, there was, really, only one choice of location…at least if they wanted to stay in the United States proper.
Camp David.
Corporal McCoy spread her arms out along the back of a very nice red-leather sofa, in the middle of a room dominated by a red-brick fireplace in one corner. Along the two far walls from the fireplace stretched multiple windows which showed, at the moment, the denuded stick-like forms of leafless trees. She knew that in the spring and summer they’d be a veritable explosion of green; somehow, she didn’t mind that she wasn’t able to see leaves at the moment. Off in a far corner of the room sat a wet bar that she also eyed with quite evident lust. There was at least one nice single-malt scotch there that she wanted to get ahold of. Just for a taste, mind you.
Not everyone was there; Chao and Grakosh were off in the midst of some giant nerd mind-meld with some Lockheed Martin Skunk-Works types, trying to figure out how to lift what materials were needed into orbit so that humans could help fix the Rithro and show the Coalition that we are very good and oh so helpful little sapients, yes indeed we are, please help us out just in case we get discovered by some genocidal robots who want to do a little bit of trolling.
Moquon, the knuall-toua who was the ship’s lifesystem engineer, coiled around her shoulder as the latter looked with interest at the wood paneling which made up the rafters and roof.
“Now this is more like it!” McCoy exclaimed to all and sundry.
“Yes, indeed! It does seem much nicer than our previous lodgings,” said Mouquon.
“This is not a vacation, corporal.” Sergeant Shaw stood next to one of the nearly floor-to ceiling windows, looking out over the grounds below with a practiced eye.
“You need to relax, Sarge,” said Martinez. “We got something like a million Secret Service agents prowling around here. I went shooting with one of ‘em once, trust me when I say those people are no joke.” He chuckled. “First time I got my ass kicked in a shooting contest by a woman.”
Shaw let out a grunt. “We are the last layer of the onion.”
“Sir?” asked McCoy.
“Someone can figure out we’re here pretty easily.” Shaw pointed out into the wintry woods. “If they send a determined and well-armed force, they might just make through those million agents to here.” He turned away from the window and stared at his team, who, at the moment, sprawled or sat with evident relief on the furniture within the room. “The OPFOR might get taken down. But then again, they might not. What do we do then?”
McCoy felt Mouqon coil herself tighter around her shoulder. Almost on instinct, she reached up and patted the snake-like alien’s head. “Don’t you worry. I’m here.”
Shaw pointed at the corporal. “Exactly. We are the last, and I do mean the last, line of defense. We are gonna run some drills at a time and place of my choosing. We are going to protect our esteemed guests to the very last…and yes, I do mean the very last. Make sure your gear is ready and that you are ready, or I will give y’all an ass-chewing they’ll feel clear out to the Coalition.”
Agent Milton Vila strolled into the lounge at that particular moment with a grin on his broad face. “Sounds like we’re getting an upgrade to our security, Mack.”
“Aw hell, you know how it is. I gotta keep these assholes on their toes or everything breaks down into chaos.”
The Secret Service agent grinned. “Anyways…we now have a new member of our merry band of misfits.”
“Misfits?” Martinez looked appropriately indignant. “I’ll have you know I am a perfectly normal functioning member of society!”
The agent and soldier held each other’s gaze for a few moments before they both busted out in laughter. “Anyways,” continued Vila, “He’s the medical expert that the general requested.” He turned to one of the entrances to the lounge. “Come on in, sir.”
A dark-skinned, lean man with an uncertain air entered. “Zawahir Ibn Harith,” he said by way of greeting. His eyes widened upon viewing the various alien forms now stretched out in various relaxed postures before him.
McCoy decided to throw him a bone. “Welcome!” She gave a wave of her arm…the arm around whose shoulder Mouquon was currently coiled. “Welcome to our…merry band of misfits!”
“Thank you!” The newcomer still looked a bit at sea.
“Hey, Dhuz?” McCoy called out.
The auhn turned from her gazing out the windows. “Yes?”
“I figure you and this guy got a lot to talk about.”
Dhuz met Zawahir’s eyes and smiled. McCoy was still getting used to that; it was a gesture of happiness just as with humans, but auhn teeth were very numerous and very sharp. “I imagine so. Mutual exchange of medical data, yes?”
Now that he had a task before him, Zawahir looked a lot more focused. “Of course! I mean, from what I’ve read thus far all of your species use some method of metal-oxygen bonding to deliver the necessary oxygen to your tissues, but not everyone uses hemoglobin!”
Dhuz lit up. “Exactly!” She touched her forearm and a big old wall of text and diagrams formed above it. “Here, let me show you…”
McCoy chuckled as the pair moved off into a far corner to continue their conversation. “Another nerd mind-meld,” she said to no one in particular.
“Pardon?” asked Mouquon.
“Oh, sorry. Just…Chao and your engineer are now off doing a big old nerd mind-meld with our best and brightest. The last time we had that much talent in one place, we wound up dropping the sun on some people.” The corporal regarded the pair now in the midst of an animated conversation. “I hope this particular nerd-gasm results in something more constructive.”
“Oh!” Mouquon perked up. “I should be a part of this ‘nerd-gasm’. At least, if they start talking about what foodstuffs are viable for the various species.”
McCoy sighed. This was a very comfortable couch, after all. “You’re right, Mouquon.” She hauled herself up and off of the furniture with a bit of reluctance. “Let’s get you involved.” She walked towards the pair, who were both still gesticulating at the display over Dhuz’s forearm.
__________
Milton Vila had, much to his annoyance, been pulled off of President Correa’s detail and assigned to a new one…one to protect the alien captain. Sure, Agent Keynes had taken his place…and if he was forced to admit it, the guy was as good of a shot as he was…but Keynes wasn’t him, and that knowledge ate at him.
Still, he supposed that at least he wasn’t alone in his misery. Sergeant Shaw (who had finally admitted to Milton he was a Green Beret, which helped nail down exactly which branch of the armed forces his team worked for) was also pulled into the task of guarding Sadaf…upon Milton’s request. Not that he would tell the Green Beret that. The sergeant had also gotten the tailoring treatment from Milton’s wife, and now he wore a navy-blue suit which complimented his red hair quite nicely. But the Secret Service agent could tell that the man still wanted to be clad in full battle-rattle and toting a rifle instead of a mere hidden handgun.
“I still say I should be able to wear my normal shit,” said Shaw, not for the first time. At the moment, the three rode in a limousine, on their way to some gala luncheon event held by some upper-crust DC types who wanted to get a speech by one of the brand-new alien celebrities. Milton hoped that they’d also decide to open their damn pocketbooks to help fund the repairs needed for the alien’s ship; in the short time he’d known her, the agent had become won over by Sadaf’s no-nonsense and in-charge attitude.
“We’re trying to not scare the normies, Mack,” replied Milton.
Sadaf, who sat next to the hulking red-bearded man, looked over at him in curiosity. “You want to wear your usual fecal matter?”
“Frinxing translators,” muttered Shaw. As was usual, the various profanities of alien language were the first things to percolate into human speech. “Sorry, ma’am, I meant my normal gear. Yeah, I’m wearing body armor but this stuff is class two at best.” He plucked at his jacket. “Plus I’m not used to moving in this monkey suit.”
Milton grinned. “You’ll get used to it soon enough, Mack. Hey, my people have cleared the place beforehand. Our job is just to stand there behind the good captain and look menacing. And then when she’s doing the meet-and-greet afterwards we need to look extra menacing…and, of course, keep an eye out just in case someone makes a false move.”
“I don’t want to get used to this,” grumped Shaw. “I don’t want to get used to any of this. I want some proper goddamn body armor and a proper goddamn rifle with some goddamn extra magazines. A rifle with an M203 launcher, just in case someone gets really squirrelly.”
The agent winced. “Um, Mack, we civvies do have to worry about things like ‘collateral damage’ and such.”
Shaw’s normally cheerful demeanor fell into a somber look towards the agent, one that brought Milton up short. “Agent Milton, have you ever fallen victim to an RPG attack?”
“Um, no?”
“I have. Trust me, there is never such a thing as overkill.”
Milton sighed. He reached into a jacket pocket and pulled out a city map. “Okay, I suppose that’s as good an excuse to go over everything again. This is the courtyard for the shindig.”
“Shindig!” exclaimed Sadaf in pleasure. “I don’t know why, but that word brings me joy.”
The agent smiled at her. “You’re gonna get used to it, believe me. So, we’ve got the whole area blocked off here, here, and here. Full-body scans for everyone going in, and believe me they’d better have the proper ticket to be there or they’re in for some looong questioning in a little dark room somewhere. No outside translator beads allowed, we issue ‘em after they get through the perimeter. We have snipers located here, here, here, and here. Each one has their own designated field of fire, the four of ‘em cover all angles. Anyone who pops their head up on any of the surrounding roofs will get a fifty-cal bullet right through their noggin before they can even blink.”
“What about the courtyard itself?” asked Shaw. “Before you set up the perimeter, I mean.”
Milton grinned. The sergeant had the makings of a first-class agent. “A very good question. We swept the area prior, using metal detectors and dogs. Especially for the dais and podium where Captain Sadaf is going to make her speech. If I was gonna try for a hit, that’s how I’d do it. Plant some explosives in the podium and trigger it remotely. But we didn’t find anything.”
The sergeant smoothed his beard in a nervous tic. “Drones?”
“Jammers for a thousand-yard radius around the podium. Anything remotely piloted into that space will just fall to the ground. As a bonus, just in case someone decides to try something cute using their cell phone, those won’t work either.”
Shaw grunted in grudging approval. “Sounds good.”
“This is how I earn a living, Mack. Relax.”
Sadaf rubbed a hand on her forehead. She was now clad back in her black-and-silver uniform; somehow the powers that be had determined that it was now okay for her to wear the supposed ‘militaristic’ uniform in public. “Is all this security strictly necessary? I mean, thus far most of your world’s nations seem to be behaving rationally.”
“Oh, we’re not worried about state actors, ma’am,” said Milton. “Well, except for a few. There’s always North Korea, after all.”
“Frinx, don’t get me started on those assholes,” muttered Shaw.
Milton continued, in what he hoped came across as a soothing tone. “Look at it this way. Does your kind suffer from mental disease?”
“Originally, yes. But thanks to medical intervention we can catch almost all of them. At present, we suffer from less than one in three hundred million who have an incurable derangement of the brain…” Sadaf’s eyes widened as she trailed off. “Oh. I forgot, you don’t have access to our level of medical technology.”
Shaw sighed. “No, ma’am, we don’t. Not to mention there’s almost eight billion of us on this here planet. Even assuming only one-hundredth-of-a-percent of those people wish you harm, that’s far too big of a population for us to relax.”
Sadaf seemed to shrink into the cushions of the limousine. “But we come in peace. We don’t mean you any harm.”
Milton knew that it was a breach of protocol, but he reached across and patted her knee. “I know that, ma’am, and almost everyone on the planet knows that. But there are some…well, there are some you just can’t reach.”
Shaw rubbed his jaw as he regarded the map again. “Damn. Wish I had Toke here. That guy could sniff out something hinky like nobody’s business. Plus if something did kick off, he could sort it out no problem.”
“He’s the skinny, taller guy, right?” asked Milton. “Marine Force Recon, I do believe. I know they are double-tough. Yeah, I admit he’d be good for something like this. But the powers that be want to keep him back at Camp David.”
The sergeant grunted in annoyance and looked out the window of the limousine. Then he looked up with a quirky smile. “I guess so. Look at it this way, if something does kick off, then having him at Camp David means that whoms’tsoever tries an assault there is gonna die.”
Milton replied to Shaw with a raised eyebrow. “All right, Shaw. Just between you and me, we deal with very dangerous people by being very dangerous people ourselves. Don’t try to feed me a line of dramatic bullshit.”
For once, Shaw looked flustered. “No, you don’t understand! Toke was the guy you’d drop into the shit, into the middle of any utter hell on Earth, and he’d get you your grid coordinates for arty or drone strikes while escorting two other guys and, oh yeah, he’d kill ten enemies at long range while doing all of that. And not just long-range. He once took out five guys in ten seconds with a knife…and he’s supposed to be a fucking sniper!” The sergeant shuddered. “I can’t tell you about the mission where he got his knee messed up, but let’s just say…he earned every single one of his medals during that action. He’s a throwback.”
Milton tilted his head, as did Sadaf. “Explain,” said the Captain, and not as a question.
“I mean, mentally, in some ways, he’s kinda from way back when we humans were all ooga-booga and lived in caves and smacked each other over the head with clubs. Toke just…ends things. Nice guy, hell if I had kids I’d let him watch ‘em with nary a care in the world. But you press one particular button and he…well, he reverts. He reverts to what we used to be.”
__________
Most of Camp David’s staff was still in bed; Matt had to admit that they’d adapted with admirable speed to having a motley crew of human knuckle-draggers and literal fucking aliens plonked down amongst them. But now it was early morning and Toke was hungry. If he was an asshole, he’d rouse one of the staff to assist in that but he’d rather slice off a toe rather than bother some hard-working person just to make him something to eat. Thus he headed for the kitchen to rustle up some grub for himself.
As he walked through the lounge, which was fast becoming the go-to point for everyone, he saw Kexal, the other udhyr, standing in front of the windows looking out over the wintry scene outside. The massive alien’s head just brushed against the auburn-colored wooden rafters that stretched upwards to form the roof overhead.
“Morning,” said Matt, trying to keep it casual. He’d never spoken much with the planetologist.
“Good morning, Matt!” replied the big alien, with enthusiasm. “I was just in the midst of getting my feel.”
The statement brought the Marine up short. “Feel?”
In response Kexal motioned him over with one of his lower arms. Matt had picked up enough alien social cues to know that such a gesture was intended as something more intimate. He stepped up beside the udhyr, who then proceeded to steer him around in front of him using his big upper arms.
He looked out over the wintry scene. Dawn was just starting, and the sun was beginning to peek over the leafless trees. “Okay, what am I looking or, should I say, feeling for?” he asked.
“The voice of your planet,” replied Kexal. “Being a planetologist is indeed a matter of knowing about weather patterns, about how the types of water, methane, and carbon dioxide ice react under various temperatures and pressures, of how a planet’s entire atmosphere changes when life is present. But there is also this.” He pointed with one big, three-fingered mitt out the windows in front of them both. “If you simply allow it, this planet can speak to you. Those in my profession call it getting the ‘feel’ of a planet. It may sound strange and mystic, but…I am getting my feel.”
That made Matt ruminate on his own view of his planet. Up until now, as far as he was concerned, it was just…there. “So, what kind of ‘feel’ are you getting thus far?”
“This place is wonderful, a lovely oasis. It welcomes me and my colleagues. This is a bastion of life in the midst of an unfeeling dark, much like other life-bearing worlds we’ve encountered…all too infrequently, sad to say.”
“So you’re saying we should treasure this planet?” Matt smiled. “I sure can’t argue with you there. We are trying to be more appreciative of it.”
“Indeed.”
The pair watched the sunrise in pleasant silence for a few minutes, until Matt’s stomach growled again. “All right,” he said. “This is nice getting our feel and all, but I gotta eat something. You hungry?”
“I could consume something.”
“Good, because I’m fuckin’ starving. Follow me.”
He led the big alien through to the kitchen. Thanks to heroic efforts by Dhuz and Mouquon back when they were sequestered in Cheyenne Mountain and then by efforts by those two and Zawahir in the last few days, all possible poisonous or allergic foods had been removed from the premises. That did limit the meals available, but as long as he didn’t have to eat it out of a pouch Matt was content.
He opened the fridge, surveying the contents. “I was just gonna do a sandwich. You want one?”
The udhyr sat at the nearby table; both of the big aliens had long ago forsaken chairs and simply sat on the floor. They claimed it was just as comfortable, and Matt for one was not going to press them on the matter. “Yes, I would like a ‘sandwich’. If it’s not too much trouble.”
Matt scanned the fridge interior. “No trouble at all. Okay, bread, we got.” He pulled a loaf out of the fridge; it had confused him the first time he’d seen it stored like that, since he’d grown up in northern, drier climes. But even in mid-winter this was a humid climate and it was way too easy for bread to go all moldy far too quickly. “Now all we need is filling…” His eyes lit on a big tub and he let out a little ‘ah!’ of pleasure. “Pimento.”
“Pimento?”
With reverence, Matt removed the tub from the fridge and set it on the counter next to the bread. “It’s a cheese-and-pepper spread. They call it the caviar of the South. I got addicted to this stuff back during my basic training days.” He shut the fridge, opened the upper cabinets, and was again pleased to see plates right where he expected them. He took down two.
Martinez strolled into the kitchen as he stretched his arms over his head. He was clad in sweatpants and a hoodie. “Morning, folks. Nothing like a nice little 5k to get the blood flowing in the morning.”
Kexal clicked his mandibles in puzzlement. “Five Kay?”
“Five-kilometer jog. Gotta keep fit, my man. Otherwise Sarge is gonna come back from his deployment and kick our asses.” The corporal’s eyes lit upon the foodstuffs laid out on the counter next to the fridge. “Hmm, breakfast?”
“Just pimento sandwiches,” said Matt as he took out another plate. “You want one?” It was a bit of a trick question; if you ask a soldier if he wants something to eat, the answer was always ‘yes’.
Martinez did not disappoint. “Oh hell yes. Not quite breakfast food, but I’ve for sure eaten way worse way earlier in the morning.”
“Vomlet?”
The corporal shuddered. “Shit man, I somehow wound up with one of those once in spite of it being way out of date. Nothing but a solid orange brick of nastiness, even with the salsa added to it. Are you tryin’ to give me PTSD?”
Matt pulled out a drawer and found a convenient knife. He began laying out the sandwich makings on each plate. “Could be worse. Could be the dreaded Four Fingers of Death.”
“Oof, I only heard about those. Were they bad as they say?”
“Oh, yes, they were,” replied Matt.
“Four Fingers of Death?” asked Kexal.
“Hot dogs,” replied Matt. “Um…little sausages. Ground-up meat, put it in a long casing, boil it or steam it or smoke it. It’ll last for a long time.”
“Ah!” The giant alien looked pleased…at least, Matt was pretty sure he looked pleased. “We have a similar cuisine involving smoked fish, ground up and molded into cakes.”
“Interesting. Then you should know that it should be a no-brainer to make good hot dogs. I mean, go to any ball game and you’ll see ‘em getting wolfed down by the ton. And yet, somehow, someway, Uncle Sam figured out how to screw up damn hot dogs. Four to a pack, and it was the nastiest shit you’ve ever ate.” He held up a hand, showing his fingers held together. “Hence the Four Fingers of Death.”
Kexal let out a pleased click as Matt continued assembling the sandwiches. “I really do feel like I’m getting a better feeling for human society.”
“It’s a very weird and small cross-section of human society,” said Martinez as he seated himself at the table. “We need to get this guy out to Yosemite or, or even better Yellowstone. I was out in Yellowstone once as a kid, it’s really damn cool. He needs to see some proper scenery. Or hell, just drop him into Times Square to chat with the locals.”
“We will do so, once we’re sure that the rest of humanity hasn’t lost its collective shit,” Matt replied. He finished putting the top slice of bread on each sandwich, then turned and fixed the two at the table with a gimlet eye. “Now. We have two important questions to answer. Crusts on or off?”
Martinez blinked, then responded. “Crusts on! Hell, I would always make sure to get the heel when I was a kid.”
“You’re a man after my own heart, Martinez. Kexal?”
“Um, as long as there are no allergens, then I will also go crust on?”
“Good. Next important question. Horizontal or diagonal cut?” Matt hovered the knife over one sandwich, showing each potential slice.
Martinez opted for horizontal, while Kexal requested diagonal. Matt cut each sandwich as requested, then placed each one in front of its recipient with the appropriate regal air. He then took his own, uncut sandwich and sat at the table.
“You don’t cut yours?” asked Martinez.
“Nope. That’s because I’m a savage.” Matt held the corporal’s eyes while he took a big bite out of his own uncut sandwich.
They all munched happily for a few minutes…right up until the alarm went off.
__________
“…and so I am humbly thankful to receive this honorarium on behalf of my crew and all of the Coalition…”
Milton figured that he had the easier job; just stand there and get across the message of ‘if you bum-rush this little blue-scaled person, you will die, and it will hurt the entire time’. He didn’t envy Captain Sadaf her newfound position as Representative Of All Of Alien-Kind, but then again he’d always been more of a wallflower-type anyway in spite of his impressive size. How he’d landed a dreamboat like Teresa was still a mystery for the ages. Although, if he was honest, she had approached him rather than the other way around.
He smiled internally at the memory of her walking up to him at the Sadie Hawkins’ dance and asking if he wanted to go for a spin on the dance floor. Something in her smile and direct gaze had awakened a more confident version of himself, and he’d accepted her request with the requisite gravity.
However it had happened, he now had a family. A wonderful wife and a son, the apple of his eye. But that wasn’t enough. He and Teresa were working hard on adding a daughter to the mix. If it turned out to be another son he wouldn’t be put out, but in his heart of hearts he wanted it to be a daughter. Just so he could spoil her rotten. But then again, if the Breakers arrived, whatever sex his next child turned out to be might be irrelevant.
Milton stopped his woolgathering and focused back on his job. Thus far his earpiece was silent save for periodic check-ins, which was good. No news was good news, after all.
Beside him, Sergeant Shaw constantly scanned the skies. That was fine, since Milton was busy scanning the people arrayed before him. Most of them were older blue-hairs who he could take with a pinky finger, but you never knew. Even an old person could wield a knife with deadly intent.
“…you must understand, we never intended to be here. It was sheer dumb fate that landed us in your, if I’m honest, quite generous lap. I understand that there is, amongst you humans, a lot of concern that we did not approach you directly. But I would invite you to look at it from our point of view. We had fragments, a few little transmissions and video images without context. We had no idea if you would respond to our presence with reflexive hostility. We were only here to gather data, to determine if a follow-up First Contact fleet would be welcomed.”
Sadaf paused and shook her head, a gesture she’d picked up from her time amongst humans. “As you well know, we were not given such a chance. But thankfully things have worked out well in spite of those circumstances…”
Milton’s forehead wrinkled as he heard a weird noise. It sounded a bit like ripping cloth, descending in tone. He reached up towards his ear to ask his team if they heard it as well…
Shaw straightened up, looking like a navy-blue wall of flesh. “INCOMING!” he bawled, just before lunging towards Sadaf at the podium.
The agent suddenly realized the source of that noise. “EVERYBODY DOWN!” he yelled in return as he threw himself at a few VIPs seated near him on the dais.
The huge sergeant simply yeeted the diminutive captain off towards the far end of the dais, before throwing his own considerable bulk at the other VIPs off to the other side.
Then the entire world seemed to explode. Milton’s ears just shut down at the resulting noise. After a moment, he picked himself up and looked over towards his principal, his ears ringing. He knew people were shouting, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.
The small alien was out at the perimeter of the blast, and as she got to her feet she patted herself down in an automatic maneuver that Milton knew very well. She looked up, met his eyes, and gave him a thumbs-up.
“One thing gone right, at least,” he muttered to himself as he hauled himself upright. Okay, damage check…legs okay, feet fine…get moving, you asshole, get to your principal, keep her safe. As he lurched forward, he realized his right arm wasn’t moving properly.
He looked down.
Oh.
His right arm was gone below the elbow.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Am I supposed to learn to shoot left-handed now?”
Then he realized there was quite a bit of blood streaming out of his new stump…maybe he should sit this one out?
No.
Fuck that.
He was going to reach his principal, if nothing else he’d act as a meat shield. As he continued his determined lurching, in some distant corner of Milton’s mind he wished he could have given his beloved Johnny a little sister to torment.
Someone tackled him to the ground, and he performed an automatic hip-throw before jamming his still-existing left forearm across the throat of a terrified…wait, this was just a kid.
“MEDIC!” screamed the kid. “I’m a MEDIC!”
“What…oh.” Milton looked up into the astonished face of Captain Sadaf; he’d managed to made it all the way to her. “She okay?”
“SHE’S FINE!” yelled someone else.
Then another thought came into his adrenaline-fueled brain. “SHAW!” he all but screamed, looking back towards where the sergeant had been before this whole horrible business had kicked off.
What he saw was a big man, clad in navy blue, sprawled over several blue-haired gentry who looked appropriately terrified. And that big man’s leg ended just below his left knee, with blood streaming out of it.
submitted by Frank_Leroux to HFY [link] [comments]
In the end, there was, really, only one choice of location…at least if they wanted to stay in the United States proper.
Camp David.
Corporal McCoy spread her arms out along the back of a very nice red-leather sofa, in the middle of a room dominated by a red-brick fireplace in one corner. Along the two far walls from the fireplace stretched multiple windows which showed, at the moment, the denuded stick-like forms of leafless trees. She knew that in the spring and summer they’d be a veritable explosion of green; somehow, she didn’t mind that she wasn’t able to see leaves at the moment. Off in a far corner of the room sat a wet bar that she also eyed with quite evident lust. There was at least one nice single-malt scotch there that she wanted to get ahold of. Just for a taste, mind you.
Not everyone was there; Chao and Grakosh were off in the midst of some giant nerd mind-meld with some Lockheed Martin Skunk-Works types, trying to figure out how to lift what materials were needed into orbit so that humans could help fix the Rithro and show the Coalition that we are very good and oh so helpful little sapients, yes indeed we are, please help us out just in case we get discovered by some genocidal robots who want to do a little bit of trolling.
Moquon, the knuall-toua who was the ship’s lifesystem engineer, coiled around her shoulder as the latter looked with interest at the wood paneling which made up the rafters and roof.
“Now this is more like it!” McCoy exclaimed to all and sundry.
“Yes, indeed! It does seem much nicer than our previous lodgings,” said Mouquon.
“This is not a vacation, corporal.” Sergeant Shaw stood next to one of the nearly floor-to ceiling windows, looking out over the grounds below with a practiced eye.
“You need to relax, Sarge,” said Martinez. “We got something like a million Secret Service agents prowling around here. I went shooting with one of ‘em once, trust me when I say those people are no joke.” He chuckled. “First time I got my ass kicked in a shooting contest by a woman.”
Shaw let out a grunt. “We are the last layer of the onion.”
“Sir?” asked McCoy.
“Someone can figure out we’re here pretty easily.” Shaw pointed out into the wintry woods. “If they send a determined and well-armed force, they might just make through those million agents to here.” He turned away from the window and stared at his team, who, at the moment, sprawled or sat with evident relief on the furniture within the room. “The OPFOR might get taken down. But then again, they might not. What do we do then?”
McCoy felt Mouqon coil herself tighter around her shoulder. Almost on instinct, she reached up and patted the snake-like alien’s head. “Don’t you worry. I’m here.”
Shaw pointed at the corporal. “Exactly. We are the last, and I do mean the last, line of defense. We are gonna run some drills at a time and place of my choosing. We are going to protect our esteemed guests to the very last…and yes, I do mean the very last. Make sure your gear is ready and that you are ready, or I will give y’all an ass-chewing they’ll feel clear out to the Coalition.”
Agent Milton Vila strolled into the lounge at that particular moment with a grin on his broad face. “Sounds like we’re getting an upgrade to our security, Mack.”
“Aw hell, you know how it is. I gotta keep these assholes on their toes or everything breaks down into chaos.”
The Secret Service agent grinned. “Anyways…we now have a new member of our merry band of misfits.”
“Misfits?” Martinez looked appropriately indignant. “I’ll have you know I am a perfectly normal functioning member of society!”
The agent and soldier held each other’s gaze for a few moments before they both busted out in laughter. “Anyways,” continued Vila, “He’s the medical expert that the general requested.” He turned to one of the entrances to the lounge. “Come on in, sir.”
A dark-skinned, lean man with an uncertain air entered. “Zawahir Ibn Harith,” he said by way of greeting. His eyes widened upon viewing the various alien forms now stretched out in various relaxed postures before him.
McCoy decided to throw him a bone. “Welcome!” She gave a wave of her arm…the arm around whose shoulder Mouquon was currently coiled. “Welcome to our…merry band of misfits!”
“Thank you!” The newcomer still looked a bit at sea.
“Hey, Dhuz?” McCoy called out.
The auhn turned from her gazing out the windows. “Yes?”
“I figure you and this guy got a lot to talk about.”
Dhuz met Zawahir’s eyes and smiled. McCoy was still getting used to that; it was a gesture of happiness just as with humans, but auhn teeth were very numerous and very sharp. “I imagine so. Mutual exchange of medical data, yes?”
Now that he had a task before him, Zawahir looked a lot more focused. “Of course! I mean, from what I’ve read thus far all of your species use some method of metal-oxygen bonding to deliver the necessary oxygen to your tissues, but not everyone uses hemoglobin!”
Dhuz lit up. “Exactly!” She touched her forearm and a big old wall of text and diagrams formed above it. “Here, let me show you…”
McCoy chuckled as the pair moved off into a far corner to continue their conversation. “Another nerd mind-meld,” she said to no one in particular.
“Pardon?” asked Mouquon.
“Oh, sorry. Just…Chao and your engineer are now off doing a big old nerd mind-meld with our best and brightest. The last time we had that much talent in one place, we wound up dropping the sun on some people.” The corporal regarded the pair now in the midst of an animated conversation. “I hope this particular nerd-gasm results in something more constructive.”
“Oh!” Mouquon perked up. “I should be a part of this ‘nerd-gasm’. At least, if they start talking about what foodstuffs are viable for the various species.”
McCoy sighed. This was a very comfortable couch, after all. “You’re right, Mouquon.” She hauled herself up and off of the furniture with a bit of reluctance. “Let’s get you involved.” She walked towards the pair, who were both still gesticulating at the display over Dhuz’s forearm.
__________
Milton Vila had, much to his annoyance, been pulled off of President Correa’s detail and assigned to a new one…one to protect the alien captain. Sure, Agent Keynes had taken his place…and if he was forced to admit it, the guy was as good of a shot as he was…but Keynes wasn’t him, and that knowledge ate at him.
Still, he supposed that at least he wasn’t alone in his misery. Sergeant Shaw (who had finally admitted to Milton he was a Green Beret, which helped nail down exactly which branch of the armed forces his team worked for) was also pulled into the task of guarding Sadaf…upon Milton’s request. Not that he would tell the Green Beret that. The sergeant had also gotten the tailoring treatment from Milton’s wife, and now he wore a navy-blue suit which complimented his red hair quite nicely. But the Secret Service agent could tell that the man still wanted to be clad in full battle-rattle and toting a rifle instead of a mere hidden handgun.
“I still say I should be able to wear my normal shit,” said Shaw, not for the first time. At the moment, the three rode in a limousine, on their way to some gala luncheon event held by some upper-crust DC types who wanted to get a speech by one of the brand-new alien celebrities. Milton hoped that they’d also decide to open their damn pocketbooks to help fund the repairs needed for the alien’s ship; in the short time he’d known her, the agent had become won over by Sadaf’s no-nonsense and in-charge attitude.
“We’re trying to not scare the normies, Mack,” replied Milton.
Sadaf, who sat next to the hulking red-bearded man, looked over at him in curiosity. “You want to wear your usual fecal matter?”
“Frinxing translators,” muttered Shaw. As was usual, the various profanities of alien language were the first things to percolate into human speech. “Sorry, ma’am, I meant my normal gear. Yeah, I’m wearing body armor but this stuff is class two at best.” He plucked at his jacket. “Plus I’m not used to moving in this monkey suit.”
Milton grinned. “You’ll get used to it soon enough, Mack. Hey, my people have cleared the place beforehand. Our job is just to stand there behind the good captain and look menacing. And then when she’s doing the meet-and-greet afterwards we need to look extra menacing…and, of course, keep an eye out just in case someone makes a false move.”
“I don’t want to get used to this,” grumped Shaw. “I don’t want to get used to any of this. I want some proper goddamn body armor and a proper goddamn rifle with some goddamn extra magazines. A rifle with an M203 launcher, just in case someone gets really squirrelly.”
The agent winced. “Um, Mack, we civvies do have to worry about things like ‘collateral damage’ and such.”
Shaw’s normally cheerful demeanor fell into a somber look towards the agent, one that brought Milton up short. “Agent Milton, have you ever fallen victim to an RPG attack?”
“Um, no?”
“I have. Trust me, there is never such a thing as overkill.”
Milton sighed. He reached into a jacket pocket and pulled out a city map. “Okay, I suppose that’s as good an excuse to go over everything again. This is the courtyard for the shindig.”
“Shindig!” exclaimed Sadaf in pleasure. “I don’t know why, but that word brings me joy.”
The agent smiled at her. “You’re gonna get used to it, believe me. So, we’ve got the whole area blocked off here, here, and here. Full-body scans for everyone going in, and believe me they’d better have the proper ticket to be there or they’re in for some looong questioning in a little dark room somewhere. No outside translator beads allowed, we issue ‘em after they get through the perimeter. We have snipers located here, here, here, and here. Each one has their own designated field of fire, the four of ‘em cover all angles. Anyone who pops their head up on any of the surrounding roofs will get a fifty-cal bullet right through their noggin before they can even blink.”
“What about the courtyard itself?” asked Shaw. “Before you set up the perimeter, I mean.”
Milton grinned. The sergeant had the makings of a first-class agent. “A very good question. We swept the area prior, using metal detectors and dogs. Especially for the dais and podium where Captain Sadaf is going to make her speech. If I was gonna try for a hit, that’s how I’d do it. Plant some explosives in the podium and trigger it remotely. But we didn’t find anything.”
The sergeant smoothed his beard in a nervous tic. “Drones?”
“Jammers for a thousand-yard radius around the podium. Anything remotely piloted into that space will just fall to the ground. As a bonus, just in case someone decides to try something cute using their cell phone, those won’t work either.”
Shaw grunted in grudging approval. “Sounds good.”
“This is how I earn a living, Mack. Relax.”
Sadaf rubbed a hand on her forehead. She was now clad back in her black-and-silver uniform; somehow the powers that be had determined that it was now okay for her to wear the supposed ‘militaristic’ uniform in public. “Is all this security strictly necessary? I mean, thus far most of your world’s nations seem to be behaving rationally.”
“Oh, we’re not worried about state actors, ma’am,” said Milton. “Well, except for a few. There’s always North Korea, after all.”
“Frinx, don’t get me started on those assholes,” muttered Shaw.
Milton continued, in what he hoped came across as a soothing tone. “Look at it this way. Does your kind suffer from mental disease?”
“Originally, yes. But thanks to medical intervention we can catch almost all of them. At present, we suffer from less than one in three hundred million who have an incurable derangement of the brain…” Sadaf’s eyes widened as she trailed off. “Oh. I forgot, you don’t have access to our level of medical technology.”
Shaw sighed. “No, ma’am, we don’t. Not to mention there’s almost eight billion of us on this here planet. Even assuming only one-hundredth-of-a-percent of those people wish you harm, that’s far too big of a population for us to relax.”
Sadaf seemed to shrink into the cushions of the limousine. “But we come in peace. We don’t mean you any harm.”
Milton knew that it was a breach of protocol, but he reached across and patted her knee. “I know that, ma’am, and almost everyone on the planet knows that. But there are some…well, there are some you just can’t reach.”
Shaw rubbed his jaw as he regarded the map again. “Damn. Wish I had Toke here. That guy could sniff out something hinky like nobody’s business. Plus if something did kick off, he could sort it out no problem.”
“He’s the skinny, taller guy, right?” asked Milton. “Marine Force Recon, I do believe. I know they are double-tough. Yeah, I admit he’d be good for something like this. But the powers that be want to keep him back at Camp David.”
The sergeant grunted in annoyance and looked out the window of the limousine. Then he looked up with a quirky smile. “I guess so. Look at it this way, if something does kick off, then having him at Camp David means that whoms’tsoever tries an assault there is gonna die.”
Milton replied to Shaw with a raised eyebrow. “All right, Shaw. Just between you and me, we deal with very dangerous people by being very dangerous people ourselves. Don’t try to feed me a line of dramatic bullshit.”
For once, Shaw looked flustered. “No, you don’t understand! Toke was the guy you’d drop into the shit, into the middle of any utter hell on Earth, and he’d get you your grid coordinates for arty or drone strikes while escorting two other guys and, oh yeah, he’d kill ten enemies at long range while doing all of that. And not just long-range. He once took out five guys in ten seconds with a knife…and he’s supposed to be a fucking sniper!” The sergeant shuddered. “I can’t tell you about the mission where he got his knee messed up, but let’s just say…he earned every single one of his medals during that action. He’s a throwback.”
Milton tilted his head, as did Sadaf. “Explain,” said the Captain, and not as a question.
“I mean, mentally, in some ways, he’s kinda from way back when we humans were all ooga-booga and lived in caves and smacked each other over the head with clubs. Toke just…ends things. Nice guy, hell if I had kids I’d let him watch ‘em with nary a care in the world. But you press one particular button and he…well, he reverts. He reverts to what we used to be.”
__________
Most of Camp David’s staff was still in bed; Matt had to admit that they’d adapted with admirable speed to having a motley crew of human knuckle-draggers and literal fucking aliens plonked down amongst them. But now it was early morning and Toke was hungry. If he was an asshole, he’d rouse one of the staff to assist in that but he’d rather slice off a toe rather than bother some hard-working person just to make him something to eat. Thus he headed for the kitchen to rustle up some grub for himself.
As he walked through the lounge, which was fast becoming the go-to point for everyone, he saw Kexal, the other udhyr, standing in front of the windows looking out over the wintry scene outside. The massive alien’s head just brushed against the auburn-colored wooden rafters that stretched upwards to form the roof overhead.
“Morning,” said Matt, trying to keep it casual. He’d never spoken much with the planetologist.
“Good morning, Matt!” replied the big alien, with enthusiasm. “I was just in the midst of getting my feel.”
The statement brought the Marine up short. “Feel?”
In response Kexal motioned him over with one of his lower arms. Matt had picked up enough alien social cues to know that such a gesture was intended as something more intimate. He stepped up beside the udhyr, who then proceeded to steer him around in front of him using his big upper arms.
He looked out over the wintry scene. Dawn was just starting, and the sun was beginning to peek over the leafless trees. “Okay, what am I looking or, should I say, feeling for?” he asked.
“The voice of your planet,” replied Kexal. “Being a planetologist is indeed a matter of knowing about weather patterns, about how the types of water, methane, and carbon dioxide ice react under various temperatures and pressures, of how a planet’s entire atmosphere changes when life is present. But there is also this.” He pointed with one big, three-fingered mitt out the windows in front of them both. “If you simply allow it, this planet can speak to you. Those in my profession call it getting the ‘feel’ of a planet. It may sound strange and mystic, but…I am getting my feel.”
That made Matt ruminate on his own view of his planet. Up until now, as far as he was concerned, it was just…there. “So, what kind of ‘feel’ are you getting thus far?”
“This place is wonderful, a lovely oasis. It welcomes me and my colleagues. This is a bastion of life in the midst of an unfeeling dark, much like other life-bearing worlds we’ve encountered…all too infrequently, sad to say.”
“So you’re saying we should treasure this planet?” Matt smiled. “I sure can’t argue with you there. We are trying to be more appreciative of it.”
“Indeed.”
The pair watched the sunrise in pleasant silence for a few minutes, until Matt’s stomach growled again. “All right,” he said. “This is nice getting our feel and all, but I gotta eat something. You hungry?”
“I could consume something.”
“Good, because I’m fuckin’ starving. Follow me.”
He led the big alien through to the kitchen. Thanks to heroic efforts by Dhuz and Mouquon back when they were sequestered in Cheyenne Mountain and then by efforts by those two and Zawahir in the last few days, all possible poisonous or allergic foods had been removed from the premises. That did limit the meals available, but as long as he didn’t have to eat it out of a pouch Matt was content.
He opened the fridge, surveying the contents. “I was just gonna do a sandwich. You want one?”
The udhyr sat at the nearby table; both of the big aliens had long ago forsaken chairs and simply sat on the floor. They claimed it was just as comfortable, and Matt for one was not going to press them on the matter. “Yes, I would like a ‘sandwich’. If it’s not too much trouble.”
Matt scanned the fridge interior. “No trouble at all. Okay, bread, we got.” He pulled a loaf out of the fridge; it had confused him the first time he’d seen it stored like that, since he’d grown up in northern, drier climes. But even in mid-winter this was a humid climate and it was way too easy for bread to go all moldy far too quickly. “Now all we need is filling…” His eyes lit on a big tub and he let out a little ‘ah!’ of pleasure. “Pimento.”
“Pimento?”
With reverence, Matt removed the tub from the fridge and set it on the counter next to the bread. “It’s a cheese-and-pepper spread. They call it the caviar of the South. I got addicted to this stuff back during my basic training days.” He shut the fridge, opened the upper cabinets, and was again pleased to see plates right where he expected them. He took down two.
Martinez strolled into the kitchen as he stretched his arms over his head. He was clad in sweatpants and a hoodie. “Morning, folks. Nothing like a nice little 5k to get the blood flowing in the morning.”
Kexal clicked his mandibles in puzzlement. “Five Kay?”
“Five-kilometer jog. Gotta keep fit, my man. Otherwise Sarge is gonna come back from his deployment and kick our asses.” The corporal’s eyes lit upon the foodstuffs laid out on the counter next to the fridge. “Hmm, breakfast?”
“Just pimento sandwiches,” said Matt as he took out another plate. “You want one?” It was a bit of a trick question; if you ask a soldier if he wants something to eat, the answer was always ‘yes’.
Martinez did not disappoint. “Oh hell yes. Not quite breakfast food, but I’ve for sure eaten way worse way earlier in the morning.”
“Vomlet?”
The corporal shuddered. “Shit man, I somehow wound up with one of those once in spite of it being way out of date. Nothing but a solid orange brick of nastiness, even with the salsa added to it. Are you tryin’ to give me PTSD?”
Matt pulled out a drawer and found a convenient knife. He began laying out the sandwich makings on each plate. “Could be worse. Could be the dreaded Four Fingers of Death.”
“Oof, I only heard about those. Were they bad as they say?”
“Oh, yes, they were,” replied Matt.
“Four Fingers of Death?” asked Kexal.
“Hot dogs,” replied Matt. “Um…little sausages. Ground-up meat, put it in a long casing, boil it or steam it or smoke it. It’ll last for a long time.”
“Ah!” The giant alien looked pleased…at least, Matt was pretty sure he looked pleased. “We have a similar cuisine involving smoked fish, ground up and molded into cakes.”
“Interesting. Then you should know that it should be a no-brainer to make good hot dogs. I mean, go to any ball game and you’ll see ‘em getting wolfed down by the ton. And yet, somehow, someway, Uncle Sam figured out how to screw up damn hot dogs. Four to a pack, and it was the nastiest shit you’ve ever ate.” He held up a hand, showing his fingers held together. “Hence the Four Fingers of Death.”
Kexal let out a pleased click as Matt continued assembling the sandwiches. “I really do feel like I’m getting a better feeling for human society.”
“It’s a very weird and small cross-section of human society,” said Martinez as he seated himself at the table. “We need to get this guy out to Yosemite or, or even better Yellowstone. I was out in Yellowstone once as a kid, it’s really damn cool. He needs to see some proper scenery. Or hell, just drop him into Times Square to chat with the locals.”
“We will do so, once we’re sure that the rest of humanity hasn’t lost its collective shit,” Matt replied. He finished putting the top slice of bread on each sandwich, then turned and fixed the two at the table with a gimlet eye. “Now. We have two important questions to answer. Crusts on or off?”
Martinez blinked, then responded. “Crusts on! Hell, I would always make sure to get the heel when I was a kid.”
“You’re a man after my own heart, Martinez. Kexal?”
“Um, as long as there are no allergens, then I will also go crust on?”
“Good. Next important question. Horizontal or diagonal cut?” Matt hovered the knife over one sandwich, showing each potential slice.
Martinez opted for horizontal, while Kexal requested diagonal. Matt cut each sandwich as requested, then placed each one in front of its recipient with the appropriate regal air. He then took his own, uncut sandwich and sat at the table.
“You don’t cut yours?” asked Martinez.
“Nope. That’s because I’m a savage.” Matt held the corporal’s eyes while he took a big bite out of his own uncut sandwich.
They all munched happily for a few minutes…right up until the alarm went off.
__________
“…and so I am humbly thankful to receive this honorarium on behalf of my crew and all of the Coalition…”
Milton figured that he had the easier job; just stand there and get across the message of ‘if you bum-rush this little blue-scaled person, you will die, and it will hurt the entire time’. He didn’t envy Captain Sadaf her newfound position as Representative Of All Of Alien-Kind, but then again he’d always been more of a wallflower-type anyway in spite of his impressive size. How he’d landed a dreamboat like Teresa was still a mystery for the ages. Although, if he was honest, she had approached him rather than the other way around.
He smiled internally at the memory of her walking up to him at the Sadie Hawkins’ dance and asking if he wanted to go for a spin on the dance floor. Something in her smile and direct gaze had awakened a more confident version of himself, and he’d accepted her request with the requisite gravity.
However it had happened, he now had a family. A wonderful wife and a son, the apple of his eye. But that wasn’t enough. He and Teresa were working hard on adding a daughter to the mix. If it turned out to be another son he wouldn’t be put out, but in his heart of hearts he wanted it to be a daughter. Just so he could spoil her rotten. But then again, if the Breakers arrived, whatever sex his next child turned out to be might be irrelevant.
Milton stopped his woolgathering and focused back on his job. Thus far his earpiece was silent save for periodic check-ins, which was good. No news was good news, after all.
Beside him, Sergeant Shaw constantly scanned the skies. That was fine, since Milton was busy scanning the people arrayed before him. Most of them were older blue-hairs who he could take with a pinky finger, but you never knew. Even an old person could wield a knife with deadly intent.
“…you must understand, we never intended to be here. It was sheer dumb fate that landed us in your, if I’m honest, quite generous lap. I understand that there is, amongst you humans, a lot of concern that we did not approach you directly. But I would invite you to look at it from our point of view. We had fragments, a few little transmissions and video images without context. We had no idea if you would respond to our presence with reflexive hostility. We were only here to gather data, to determine if a follow-up First Contact fleet would be welcomed.”
Sadaf paused and shook her head, a gesture she’d picked up from her time amongst humans. “As you well know, we were not given such a chance. But thankfully things have worked out well in spite of those circumstances…”
Milton’s forehead wrinkled as he heard a weird noise. It sounded a bit like ripping cloth, descending in tone. He reached up towards his ear to ask his team if they heard it as well…
Shaw straightened up, looking like a navy-blue wall of flesh. “INCOMING!” he bawled, just before lunging towards Sadaf at the podium.
The agent suddenly realized the source of that noise. “EVERYBODY DOWN!” he yelled in return as he threw himself at a few VIPs seated near him on the dais.
The huge sergeant simply yeeted the diminutive captain off towards the far end of the dais, before throwing his own considerable bulk at the other VIPs off to the other side.
Then the entire world seemed to explode. Milton’s ears just shut down at the resulting noise. After a moment, he picked himself up and looked over towards his principal, his ears ringing. He knew people were shouting, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.
The small alien was out at the perimeter of the blast, and as she got to her feet she patted herself down in an automatic maneuver that Milton knew very well. She looked up, met his eyes, and gave him a thumbs-up.
“One thing gone right, at least,” he muttered to himself as he hauled himself upright. Okay, damage check…legs okay, feet fine…get moving, you asshole, get to your principal, keep her safe. As he lurched forward, he realized his right arm wasn’t moving properly.
He looked down.
Oh.
His right arm was gone below the elbow.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Am I supposed to learn to shoot left-handed now?”
Then he realized there was quite a bit of blood streaming out of his new stump…maybe he should sit this one out?
No.
Fuck that.
He was going to reach his principal, if nothing else he’d act as a meat shield. As he continued his determined lurching, in some distant corner of Milton’s mind he wished he could have given his beloved Johnny a little sister to torment.
Someone tackled him to the ground, and he performed an automatic hip-throw before jamming his still-existing left forearm across the throat of a terrified…wait, this was just a kid.
“MEDIC!” screamed the kid. “I’m a MEDIC!”
“What…oh.” Milton looked up into the astonished face of Captain Sadaf; he’d managed to made it all the way to her. “She okay?”
“SHE’S FINE!” yelled someone else.
Then another thought came into his adrenaline-fueled brain. “SHAW!” he all but screamed, looking back towards where the sergeant had been before this whole horrible business had kicked off.
What he saw was a big man, clad in navy blue, sprawled over several blue-haired gentry who looked appropriately terrified. And that big man’s leg ended just below his left knee, with blood streaming out of it.
2023.05.27 19:37 pheekayes Oral-B Electric Toothbrush
I am visiting India and Coimbatore after 10 years. Where I can buy Oral B electric toothbrush? I went to SPAR thinking that is a hypermarket that you can get anything but they don't have any electric toothbrush? Is there a store that will definitely carry this? TIA
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