Tattoo shops near little rock ar

ICanDrawThat

2011.08.15 06:27 tptbrg95 ICanDrawThat

Request a drawing, or offer your drawing skills!
[link]


2023.05.29 14:49 arknined First Marathon - Race Report - Edinburgh Marathon 28/5/23

## Race Information
* **Name:** Edinburgh Marathon
* **Date:** Sunday May 28, 2023
* **Distance:** 42.2km
* **Location:** Scotland
* **Time:** 03:43:12
* **Gear:** Altra Vanish Carbon
* **StravaURL:** https://www.strava.com/activities/9156827328
## Goals
Goal Description Completed?
------------------
1 Sub 3:25 no
2 Sub 3:45 yes
3 Don’t Walk no
## Splits
Split Time
------------
1 04:22
2 04:25
3 04:20
4 04:34
5 04:35
6 04:24
7 04:41
8 04:31
9 04:41
10 04:35
11 04:42
12 04:39
13 04:44
14 04:41
15 04:46
16 04:43
17 04:49
18 04:50
19 04:49
20 04:53
21 04:56
22 04:54
23 04:58
24 05:03
25 05:11
26 05:12
27 05:18
28 05:19
29 05:17
30 05:24
31 05:24
32 05:42
33 05:56
34 05:57
35 06:51
36 07:22
37 07:03
38 06:34
39 06:30
40 07:32
41 05:38
42 05:49
43 02:36
##Background
Just turned 50 this year (50M) and started running (again) in Oct’22 from a base of zero exercise for the past five years (excepting having 3 small boys (5,7,&9) and the hustle of daily life, family walks, family activities etc. In 2014 I did a couch25k and between 2014-2017 started to run commute into work averaging about 10km per week over this period - (2014 - 900km; 2015 - 500km; 2016 - 650km; 2017 (jan-aug) - 500km). This culminated in a half-marathon race (Rock n Roll Dublin) in 2017 for which I didn’t follow a training plan but did a few longer runs of 13k(ish) and finished in c. 1:48 (ran out of steam at c.19k and had to run/walk a couple of times to finish).
Before 2014 - there was no exercise/running/training/gym - I was relatively ‘active’ but no sports/activities to note.
In October last year (‘22), I decided to go for a run to see how it felt and surprised myself by running 7km @ 6:10/km pace. I enjoyed it, and decided to get back running with a vague aspiration to complete a marathon in my 50th year….
##Training
… so I started training. Decided in November to book a bib in the Edinburgh marathon, figuring that 7 months should give me a decent enough training block. Avg went from 50km/week to 100km/week over this period.
Month Distance Avg Pace
------------------
Nov 216km 6:16/km
Dec 321km 6:07/km
Jan 284km 5:26/km
Feb 237km 5:25/km
Mar 291km 5:19km
Apr 412km 5:07/km
May 305km 5:00/km
Didn’t follow a specific plan (per se), generally ran 5 or 6 days a week with one long run (5:00/km to 5:30/km), one medium/tempo type run (4:40/km to 5:00/km), three easy runs (5:20/km) and a sprinkling of ParkRuns.
I had no (observable) issues in stepping up the mileage over this period, two small injury niggles,one in Nov and one in Feb, and I rested with no reoccurrence of either.
I self-diagnosed regularly occurring foot pain as a Mortons Neuroma (flared up after c.9km and could be run through - but painful) and went through a variety of shoe types to lessen the flare-ups. Settled on Altra’s and roomy footbox, which worked for me.
Parkrun (5k) times went from 25:26 (Oct’22) to 19:06 (May’22) over this period.
Other notable times -
10k times - avg sub-45mins on tempo/fast runs
Half-marathons - (did over 20 runs at this distance over the 7 months) ran x2 sub 1:40 and x1 sub 1:34 during the block (not races, just fast/tempo runs)
In Mar&Apr’23 I completed x5 long runs >30km (longest @33km) and a further x2 (27km & 29km) as part of the build up.
I trained with SIS gels and a water bottle filled with Tailwind mix during the long-runs and they settled ok, a little queasy but ok (I did all other runs (<27km) without nutrition or water)
The <1:35 half-marathon was the last fast/long run before the start of the taper (from 100km to 80km (wk1) to 55km (wk2) to 25km (wk3)).
##Plan & Pre-race
All marathon time predictors (runalyze; metathon; crplots) had me at a 3:10 to 3:12 marathon time based on my strava logs - I felt this was optimistic (4:34/km) as I had a tendency to drift (pace & heartrate) on longer runs. Based on the half-marathon times in the training block I felt i could sustain close to that pace for maybe 30km - but >40km would be a push - so settled on the following plan for race day:
First 16km (10 miles) at 4:40/km, next 16km (10miles) at 4:50/km, last 10km to keep legs moving and hold-on to the finish. Goal A - was to run a sub 3:25.
Pre-race prep was unremarkable - flew to Scotland (from Dublin) on Friday evening - ate well Fri/Sat (lots of pasta, steak, bread) slept ok . Collected bib Saturday morning, pottered around the city for a couple of hours , rested the rest of the day.
Race day morning, grabbed a banana, coffee, croissant - had 500ml of tailwind c. 2 hours before start - greased myself up (sunscreen & anti-chafe), bathroom, checked bag, warmed-up (stretches/gentle jog). Fuelling plan for the race was a gel every 6km topped-up with Tailwind which I carried in a hand-held bottle.
Weather was warm and overcast at the start (10am)
##Race
Start was largely downhill for the first 8km, and I tried to keep the pace under control. Legs felt strong and were turning-over well. Despite best efforts, the combination of the downhill, first marathon excitement, over-confidence, other runners pace, me being an idiot, had the first 8km in c.4:35/km pace - which was faster than intended, but not wildly so. The course then hit the sea front and the breeze helped to take the edge off the pace and I settled into the target pace of 4:40/km (-ish) for the next 8km.
Took the gels at 6km, 12km and 18km and sipped from the hand-held bottle (tailwind) throughout. I grabbed a few gulps from the on-course water as I ran-by. Weather started to warm-up as the sun broke through the clouds.
Hit 16km feeling good - slightly ahead of target pace and the race-plan was to run the second 16km at an avg 4:50/km so I eased off a little to adjust to plan.
Hit half marathon in 1:38ish which was ahead of plan, but I felt ok, knew I had completed a 1:34 half a few weeks back and the race-strategy was to target 4:50/km from 16k to 32k.
Then things changed at around 23/24k mark - legs started to lose some power which came as a surprise, I also started to feel a little nauseous. I skipped taking the planned gel at 24k as i felt i would be ill if i forced it down.
At 25k I just couldn’t hold a sub5:00/km pace at all. I recognised that I was in trouble and it was barely half-way through. Resolved to move to my long-run pace for the training block at 5:20/km and hoped this could see me through to the end. Took a gel at 30k and temperatures were getting warmer. Despite all the difficulties I hit 30k in 2:24 (avg. 4:50km) but i was weakening and getting worried.
When I reached 32k in the marathon I knew I was fucked, pace had slipped to 6:00/km, sun was beating down, other runners were struggling, and I started negotiating with myself to just. keep. running.
By 35k I had to start run/walking as my legs had completely gone. I was gutted but there was nothing left in the tank. Walking through the two water stations I could actually drink the bottles of water and was surprised at how thirsty/dehydrated I was. Pace times dropped off as I continued to run/walk for the next 5k. Nearing the end I gave it everything I had to run the final 2k.
Crossed the finish in 3:43
##Post-Race
Disappointed I couldn't run the whole 42k but recognise sub 3:45 is an achievement for a 50year old (couch to marathon in 7 months).
Hard to rationalise what went wrong here - initial thoughts:
1). Over-fatigued / over-trained - despite feeling strong during training this was not actually the case - taper ineffective (??)
2). Target pace too aggressive - over-confident/ego/greedy - did not respect the distance - went out too fast
3). Fuelling/hydration was wrong - sweated too much -relied on tailwind - did not take enough water on-course - skipped gel at 24k
probably a combination of all of the above factors.....
##Next Steps
i) Rest for a week
ii) Dublin marathon at the end of Oct
iii) Start structured plan Pfitz. 18/55 or 18/70
Made with [Strava race report generator](https://race-report-gen.jezl.xyz/).
submitted by arknined to firstmarathon [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 14:34 arknined Edinburgh Marathon - Couch to 1st Marathon in 7 months

Edinburgh Marathon

Race Information

Goals

Goal Description Completed?
1 Sub 3:25 no
2 Sub 3:45 yes
3 Don’t Walk no

Splits

Split Time
1 04:22
2 04:25
3 04:20
4 04:34
5 04:35
6 04:24
7 04:41
8 04:31
9 04:41
10 04:35
11 04:42
12 04:39
13 04:44
14 04:41
15 04:46
16 04:43
17 04:49
18 04:50
19 04:49
20 04:53
21 04:56
22 04:54
23 04:58
24 05:03
25 05:11
26 05:12
27 05:18
28 05:19
29 05:17
30 05:24
31 05:24
32 05:42
33 05:56
34 05:57
35 06:51
36 07:22
37 07:03
38 06:34
39 06:30
40 07:32
41 05:38
42 05:49
43 02:36

Background

Just turned 50 this year (50M) and started running (again) in Oct’22 from a base of zero exercise for the past five years (excepting having 3 small boys (5,7,&9) and the hustle of daily life, family walks, family activities etc. In 2014 I did a couch25k and between 2014-2017 started to run commute into work averaging about 10km per week over this period - (2014 - 900km; 2015 - 500km; 2016 - 650km; 2017 (jan-aug) - 500km). This culminated in a half-marathon race (Rock n Roll Dublin) in 2017 for which I didn’t follow a training plan but did a few longer runs of 13k(ish) and finished in c. 1:48 (ran out of steam at c.19k and had to run/walk a couple of times to finish).
Before 2014 - there was no exercise/running/training/gym - I was relatively ‘active’ but no sports/activities to note.
In October last year (‘22), I decided to go for a run to see how it felt and surprised myself by running 7km @ 6:10/km pace. I enjoyed it, and decided to get back running with a vague aspiration to complete a marathon in my 50th year….

Training

… so I started training. Decided in November to book a bib in the Edinburgh marathon, figuring that 7 months should give me a decent enough training block. Avg went from 50km/week to 100km/week over this period.
Month Distance Avg Pace
Nov 216km 6:16/km
Dec 321km 6:07/km
Jan 284km 5:26/km
Feb 237km 5:25/km
Mar 291km 5:19km
Apr 412km 5:07/km
May 305km 5:00/km
Didn’t follow a specific plan (per se), generally ran 5 or 6 days a week with one long run (5:00/km to 5:30/km), one medium/tempo type run (4:40/km to 5:00/km), three easy runs (5:20/km) and a sprinkling of ParkRuns.
I had no (observable) issues in stepping up the mileage over this period, two small injury niggles,one in Nov and one in Feb, and I rested with no reoccurrence of either.
I self-diagnosed regularly occurring foot pain as a Mortons Neuroma (flared up after c.9km and could be run through - but painful) and went through a variety of shoe types to lessen the flare-ups. Settled on Altra’s and roomy footbox, which worked for me.
Parkrun (5k) times went from 25:26 (Oct’22) to 19:06 (May’22) over this period.
Other notable times -
10k times - avg sub-45mins on tempo/fast runs
Half-marathons - (did over 20 runs at this distance over the 7 months) ran x2 sub 1:40 and x1 sub 1:34 during the block (not races, just fast/tempo runs)
In Mar&Apr’23 I completed x5 long runs >30km (longest @33km) and a further x2 (27km & 29km) as part of the build up.
I trained with SIS gels and a water bottle filled with Tailwind mix during the long-runs and they settled ok, a little queasy but ok (I did all other runs (<27km) without nutrition or water)
The <1:35 half-marathon was the last fast/long run before the start of the taper (from 100km to 80km (wk1) to 55km (wk2) to 25km (wk3)).

Plan & Pre-race

All marathon time predictors (runalyze; metathon; crplots) had me at a 3:10 to 3:12 marathon time based on my strava logs - I felt this was optimistic (4:34/km) as I had a tendency to drift (pace & heartrate) on longer runs. Based on the half-marathon times in the training block I felt i could sustain close to that pace for maybe 30km - but >40km would be a push - so settled on the following plan for race day:
First 16km (10 miles) at 4:40/km, next 16km (10miles) at 4:50/km, last 10km to keep legs moving and hold-on to the finish. Goal A - was to run a sub 3:25.
Pre-race prep was unremarkable - flew to Scotland (from Dublin) on Friday evening - ate well Fri/Sat (lots of pasta, steak, bread) slept ok . Collected bib Saturday morning, pottered around the city for a couple of hours , rested the rest of the day.
Race day morning, grabbed a banana, coffee, croissant - had 500ml of tailwind c. 2 hours before start - greased myself up (sunscreen & anti-chafe), bathroom, checked bag, warmed-up (stretches/gentle jog). Fuelling plan for the race was a gel every 6km topped-up with Tailwind which I carried in a hand-held bottle.
Weather was warm and overcast at the start (10am)

Race

Start was largely downhill for the first 8km, and I tried to keep the pace under control. Legs felt strong and were turning-over well. Despite best efforts, the combination of the downhill, first marathon excitement, over-confidence, other runners pace, me being an idiot, had the first 8km in c.4:35/km pace - which was faster than intended, but not wildly so. The course then hit the sea front and the breeze helped to take the edge off the pace and I settled into the target pace of 4:40/km (-ish) for the next 8km.
Took the gels at 6km, 12km and 18km and sipped from the hand-held bottle (tailwind) throughout. I grabbed a few gulps from the on-course water as I ran-by. Weather started to warm-up as the sun broke through the clouds.
Hit 16km feeling good - slightly ahead of target pace and the race-plan was to run the second 16km at an avg 4:50/km so I eased off a little to adjust to plan. Hit half marathon in 1:38ish which was ahead of plan, but I felt ok, knew I had completed a 1:34 half a few weeks back and the race-strategy was to target 4:50/km from 16k to 32k.
Then things changed at around 23/24k mark - legs started to lose some power which came as a surprise, I also started to feel a little nauseous. I skipped taking the planned gel at 24k as i felt i would be ill if i forced it down.
At 25k I just couldn’t hold a sub5:00/km pace at all. I recognised that I was in trouble and it was barely half-way through. Resolved to move to my long-run pace for the training block at 5:20/km and hoped this could see me through to the end. Took a gel at 30k and temperatures were getting warmer. Despite all the difficulties I hit 30k in 2:24 (avg. 4:50km) but i was weakening and getting worried.
When I reached 32k in the marathon I knew I was fucked, pace had slipped to 6:00/km, sun was beating down, other runners were struggling, and I started negotiating with myself to just. keep. running.
By 35k I had to start run/walking as my legs had completely gone. I was gutted but there was nothing left in the tank. Walking through the two water stations I could actually drink the bottles of water and was surprised at how thirsty/dehydrated I was. Pace times dropped off as I continued to run/walk for the next 5k. Nearing the end I gave it everything I had to run the final 2k.
Crossed the finish in 3:43

Post-Race

Disappointed I couldn't run the whole 42k but recognise sub 3:45 is an achievement for a 50year old (couch to marathon in 7 months).
Hard to rationalise what went wrong here - initial thoughts:
1). Over-fatigued / over-trained - despite feeling strong during training this was not actually the case - taper ineffective (??)
2). Target pace too aggressive - over-confident/ego/greedy - did not respect the distance - went out too fast
3). Fuelling/hydration was wrong - sweated too much -relied on tailwind - did not take enough water on-course - skipped gel at 24k
probably a combination of all of the above factors.....

Next Steps

i) Rest for a week ii) Dublin marathon at the end of Oct iii) Start structured plan Pfitz. 18/55 or 18/70
Made with Strava race report generator.
submitted by arknined to AdvancedRunning [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 14:33 asoundusername How do I get rid of this guilt?

Hi! I (19) have been experiencing continuous guilt following the unexpected death of a young teacher. Any advice on how to get rid of this guilt is greatly appreciated!
Here is some more information:
At my primary school there was a great PE teacher. I was never a big fan of sports or exercise haha, but she made it fun. I remember when I was graduating primary school, I was sad to leave but that changed when I found out that this teacher would be working in the secondary school too! She also taught hockey classes after school which I participated in for a few years despite my terrible hockey skills haha.
I only knew her for about 7 years, but in that time I saw a lot of cool moments in her life. I still remember how happy she was showing her engagement ring to my classmates and hearing about her wedding. She also rocked a variety of hairstyles over the years and she suited all of them!
Back at the start of 2020, I volunteered at my primary school for a week. When I entered the staff room, I saw that teacher but she just seemed kind of off, kind of down, which was a strange sight. Back then I was a dumb teenager who had some reason become bored of the occasionally monotonous nature of life. Very unusual for me, as I’m normally quite optimistic. This resulted in a low mood where nothing seemed exciting anymore, typical teenager stuff haha.
I remember she asked me a bunch of questions and told me she was pregnant. Thanks to the stupid mindset I was in, I don’t remember being as enthusiastic as I wanted to be. Additionally, as I got older, I became nervous to speak to her fearing I’d say something stupid, not that she would pick up on it, she was too kind for that haha. There was literally no reason for me to be nervous. During our conversation, she asked me about my singing lessons, a hobby which I have always loved especially throughout primary school and I was touched that she still remembered this. However, I still noticed that something slightly off with her.
In the past I used to get intrusive thoughts and that day was no exception. After our conversation, an awful thought appeared in my mind: What if she died? But it was good to have this thought, as it put me back in the moment and I had a great time helping her out with her PE classes. Afterwards, I obviously dismissed the thought due to how bizarre it was, since there are a million other reasons why someone could be feeling down. Following that week, I remember feeling bad about my lack of enthusiasm, but didn’t think much of it since I’d have another conversation with her in the future when I would be in a better mood. Or so I thought.
Little did I know that over a month later, that teacher was diagnosed with cancer.
Then came the Covid-19 lockdown, it wasn’t ideal but hey everyone’s in the same boat! (Now knowing the reality of the situation, turns out that was a lie. I still can’t believe that this teacher was sick the whole time in lockdown.) After lockdown when I got back to school, I obviously didn’t see her. Over the years, more teachers had joined the PE department, so she wasn’t needed as much in the secondary school. So I assumed the whole year that she was working in the primary school, not dying in hospital.
I didn’t find out until my mom told me what had happened a day after she died back in the summer of 2021. Not only that she had cancer but that she had died from it? That came completely out of nowhere and was definitely a shock. One good thing that came from Covid is that the recorded funeral was available online for anyone to watch. It was nice to learn more reasons to like her.
I wish I had known that she was sick. It’s so dumb but I had her school email. if I had known, I would have sent her a message. And I know the chances of her reading that are extremely low with what she was going though, but it would have been something. Just something instead of nothing.
Fortunately, the anger and sadness has subsided. This death has truly shown me how precious life really is. Yet the guilt is surrounding the conversations we had, not knowing they were the last, still remains. I took her for granted. I took it all for granted and I can never get it back. Looking back on it, it makes me so angry at myself: knowing what she could have been thinking health-wise but still having light conversations with me. And all she gets back is unenthusiastic responses? I hope I didn’t offend her. I was such an idiot.
It’s got to the point where any time I do a good deed, it just feels like I’m putting on a facade. This week I visited my primary school to drop off cards and gifts at reception for my old teachers to show my appreciation for them. Ever since that teacher died, it’s become very important that the remaining teachers know they are appreciated. I thought this would make me feel good, but it only brought up feelings of guilt, anger and sadness since I’ll never be able to thank this teacher and make sure she knows that she’s appreciated.
I know nothing good comes of ruminating about this. And I know she’s dead and I’ll never see her again. But for some reason this has stuck in my mind. I’ve thought about her everyday since she has died. Which is strange because I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. We weren’t close and I wasn’t sports-obsessed haha. It’s been nearly 2 years since she’s passed, I still don’t know why I’ve cared so much about this. Even if she had been alive when I graduated, we both would have gone our separate ways when I left the school. Obviously she wasn’t meant to be around forever, but I didn’t realise how soon she would go.
There are people you meet that you don’t get a lot of chances to speak to but you just hope that life is kind to them. She was one of them.
I feel like I’m so close to putting this out of my mind forever (I hope), but the guilt is still holding me back. Deep down, I still feel like a terrible person and I’m not sure what to do about it. But I do know that I have to get rid of this guilt. This is the last step to moving on, any advice on how to accomplish this is greatly appreciated.
submitted by asoundusername to OCD [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 14:25 Bungee-Cord-Thrwaway Update to Crazy Lady being the former owner of my truck

Well I ran into that crazy lady again. But this isn't going to pan out quite as you might think from the title. I made a small update in my previous post about how I'd repainted my truck white. Well in the time since then, I did also get new plates. Before painting, I pulled some dents and DIY repainted the entire truck for cheap using high pressure wide spray cans. A friend helped me gloss coat the truck for cheap too. The Silverado looks good, if not inconspicuously normal. Most I tell can't believe it's a spray paint job. With the new look to the truck, I figured the odds of me ever running into the crazy lady who previously owned my truck again were practically nil. But I guess it's just too much of a small world. However this time I was more of a bystander to the main event.
I was back in the same area I'd previously encountered that crazy lady in. Only this time I was helping a friend's brother move on Saturday. He'd bought a foreclosed fixer-upper house, and was moving into it after having made a few renovations. My truck was fully loaded and towing a trailer. And it took two trips to get everything. My friend's brother was also transporting stuff in his own car as well. As part of the deal, the brother bought us lunch. I suggested the diner I ate at least time I was in the area. And so we went. The food was as good as I remembered. And we had some good fun talking and eating. But when we were nearly ready to go, that's when the crazy lady entered the establishment. I recognized her almost right away. She looked just the same. Was even wearing similar clothes. Only this time she had a small dog inside the purse tucked under her arm. Not sure of the breed.
When she went to find a table, one of the employees told her that as they'd told her the last time, they do not allow pets unless they're service animals. Crazy lady said her dog was a certified ESA, but the manager with a deep groan said that as he'd previously told her, an ESA was not the same as a service animal. And therefor not an open pass to bring it anywhere she so pleased. Then said she could not dine in so long as long as she had the dog with her. She made a big scene of saying she was being discriminated against, and that she needed her ESA doggo. But the manager was a rock and told her to either order food to go and wait for it outside, or don't get any food at all. Crazy lady yelled that this was outrageous. But I guess in that moment she finally realized how much she was embarrassing herself, and did actually order food to go. And the manager reminded her one more time not to bring the dog in again before she went out the door.
I pointed out to my friends that was the crazy lady I'd previously told them about. And they both laughed and said "No way!". I took the time to recall the past incident before we paid our bill to leave. As we went outside, the crazy lady was out there loudly talking on the phone with someone. I don't know who, but she was very irate. And she was letting her little dog poop in the greenery just outside the diner and didn't pick it up. As we were walking past her, she locked eyes with me. But she didn't seem to recognize me at all. She just gave me a distressed sounding "What are you staring at!?", before I just excused myself by saying "Nothing at all." and kept walking. She watched me walk all the way to my truck and get in it. And she did seem to stare at the truck and me for an uncomfortably long time before finally going back to talking on her phone. I drove away to go back for the second load and that was it. Kinda mundane I know. But that's what happened. I'm actually very glad she did not recognize me or the truck. It seemed like she almost did. So I guess my new paint job worked just fine.
submitted by Bungee-Cord-Thrwaway to EntitledPeople [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 14:12 incognitan2828 [Obedience] 5: Opening the can of worms

Important!!!
If you enjoy the story, please upvote it so my ego can grow enough to continue it! There are 8k of you (according to statistics), and every bit helps! If you did read this, thank you, and enjoy.

First Previous Next

POV:VERA

And I thought this couldn't get more complicated. First the kidnaping, then the collar, then they remove it and put me in a better room. Now this "boy" and the paper note. I didn't even know people still used paper.
And why I have to deal with this shit? On the bright side of things, they didn't find my .22 custom made one shot pistol. It saved my ass too many times for me to lose it.
I try to pick up the boy. He is even lighter than I thought. His skin is pale like chalk. I can feel individual ribs.It feels like he has no muscle left. Just skin. I Put him on the bed. I look at his face. He is smilinging his sleep. Why is he smiling? Why is he here?
Now that I think about it, I still don't know what they are planning to do. There weren't any instructions, Just the note I found on the boy. Maybe…
The projector suddenly turns on. I jump at the sudden sound of a hologram feed appearing in the room. There is a video playing. I wish I didn't look
On the video was the boy, in a gigantic room with scalpels, knifes, shovels, laser blasters, police batons, there was a surgical table, what looks like medival times torture machines. All of them were stained in Red crimson blood.
I see a klerket, with a knife in his claws. He is smiling. His smile is very unnerving. Maybe it's because he is a different race. Who knows.
I look down, where the klerket is looking. There were a lot of different shaped and sized chunks of human flesh. To the side I see a familiar silhouette: it's the boy. He is looking into the camera, forcefully smiling. I know it's forcefully because everything else tells me that he is in agonizing pain.
I started to look at the boy's body, to see what causes him this pain. I couldn't realize what was wrong, until I noticed: *** All but one finger, his right foot's toe were cut off.***
I can't believe what I see. This was madness. And the video didn't even start yet. Why the fuck would this klerket do this? Is this some kind of medical experiment? Why on the boy? Will they do this to me?
I press play against my better judgment. I wish I didn't.
The video feed starts. Klerket is revealed to have a rubber ball, similar to those you see in a Pet Shop. After clicking with its talons a few times, presumably to get the poor Boys attention, it throws it on the other side of the room.
The boy gets on his four and crowls to the other side. Each time he stops, the klerket counts backwards from 3. The boy nearly gets the ball back, but stops for a little before giving it to his master. Unfortunately, this was when the count reached zero.
The boy was thrown on the medical table, strapped to it, and gagged by a leather strip between his teeth. The klerket got neer the right foot. Instead of using his shiny sharp knife however, he reached for something out of view of the camera.
What he pulled out was a rusty saw. I hope he was Just moving it, or planned to use it on something else but the boy. I knew he would use it on him. What I didn't know is how loud the boy would cry.
Every time the saw would inch deeper and deeper into the boys Last finger, he would cry with new found desperation, through the leather strap that his teeth are buried in. The saw itself is doing a terrible job at cutting, which seems to add even more pain.
The saw reaches the bone, and the kid starts screaming even harder. I can see the bone itself on the camera, because of a large hole left by the deliberately inefficient tool.
I pause the footage. This is Just the first 5 minutes out of an hour long footage. "What the actual fuck is going on h…?" I throw up on the Floor.

POV:DEN

I wake up. I am surprised that I am not dead. I thought master would kill me. Master did not. I feel different though. More rested? Energized? I never felt this good.
what are you talking abo… Wait yeah, why are we feeling so good?
I open my eyes. Oh no, I am in bed! Master will be angry! Wait, maybe master put me in bed. Why would he put me in bed? Is this reward for me being good pet? I notice there is another, new pet! It is sitting beside me on bed. Maybe I should say someth…
Suddenly, a light out of no where starts shining on the wall opposite of the bed. Wait no, its not a Light, its a!... Mmmmmm, what was it called? Mmmmmm.. Ah, a krohector! Or was it roekter? I don't…
Wait, its showing how I and master played together! The picture is showing me near master, as he is about to throw a ball after he ¢̸µ̵̺̕††̷́ ð̸̗̓£̷̳͘ ̸̻̃å̴̦̋ĺ̶̙l̸ M̸̰̑¥̵̬͂ ̶̼̃£̴̝̔ï̵̮̚ñ̵̺͠g̴̰͋ê̷͉͂r̵̖͐§̵̗̈. Painfull Happy memories.
The picture suddenly starts to move. I see how I start to chase the ball master threw. Back then, the pain FUN room (I have to stop thinking like that of the fun room), was only 5 times a week. Now, because master is more sad, angry, I live there. I hope master got better.
I fail again and get punished for not doing what master wanted. I still hate that moment, because thats when master started using the saw. I hate the saw. It's really Painful. The picture Becomes still again.
My New friend Pet suddenly started throwing up. I freeze. Why did she Just throw up? What happened? Is it ok?
SHE threw up because she thinks that this is disgusting.
"But why? Isn't this normal? It's been like that my whole life. Well, yeah, he got a bit stricter in the Last couple of years,but not by much!"
~~Talk to her. maybe you can learn why she thinks this is so bad. Maybe, for once, you will actually listen to someone other that that master of your.
"That's a good idea! Maybe this Pet is very bad, and master wants me to help it… "
**her*
"Sorry, her, to be a good pet! For once you give me good ideas."
I move closer to her. I say "Hello, are y…

POV:VERA

"you ok? Do you need help?" I suddenly hear behind me. I nearly reach for the gun, when I remember that I am not alone here. The boy from the video woke up.
Vera: HOLY VOID YOU SCARED ME
Den: Are you ok friend?
This is weird. He does not seem distressed, or even confused in this situation. Why?
Vera: I should ask YOU **that. Why are you here? What is - I wave my hand onto the projection - ... This? Who is that son of a shit?
Den: You shouldn't call master that! He is kind and caring! And because I live for free, I help him in return!
Vera: … wh what?
Den: yeah! Our master is great! You Will love him once you see him.
Vera: I am not so….
I remember the note. Now it makes sense. This kid was brainwashed into servitude and forced to feel pain, for amusement. And is force to think that this is normal.
Eeeeeeeeeeaaaaaagh! Fine! Fuck it. Maybe if I get both of us out I could finally cross to sol space and convince them to act. Maybe not. Either way he might be my ticket there. Now how do I convince him?
Vera: Ok, first off, I don't think I told my name. Im Vera.
Den: Hello Pet Vera!
Vera: NO Just.. No Pet. Just Vera, okay?
Den: But we are…
Vera: Humor me please for now, ok?
Den: ok… Nice to meet you Vera, I am pet De..
Vera: AS I Said - I say loud, before lowering my voice again - no pets, got it?
Den: Ok….. My name is Den. Nice to meet you.
Oh, this is going to be so much harder than I thought.
Next

Author's notes:
Well, I finally came back from another break down enough to post this crazy shit for you crazy people (love you all, you are the reason I am still going).
As I said above, please upvote so I can see what the real amount of people reading it, and leave comments on any criticism or anything.
(I would make this one longer, but I am sleep deprived to shit, so you get this. Still, should be decent)
submitted by incognitan2828 to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 14:11 BreadfruitSea2876 My amazon shopping addiction is out of hand & I've got to stop

Hello all. I'm so embarrassed to admit this but my Amazon shopping addiction is way out of hand. I have ordered something nearly every day for several months now. Just thinking about it makes me feel horrible. I have bought mainly books and DVDs, along with essentials. I have thought about why I'm like this: I'm lonely, suffer chronic pain with a variety of health problems, and feel as if I've got little to show for my life at the age of 53. I know this sounds silly but I feel as if I can rely on books and DVDs - they will never reject me, and provide a comfort blanket. But I can't keep spending as I'm dependent on disability! I'm reluctant to get rid of my Amazon account entirely as I'm disabled and don't have any transport - it's too useful for essentials and Christmas shopping! Also, I have Audible which I find really useful.
I can't access therapy at the moment, but are there any practical self-help steps I can take? I have read lots of interesting stuff on this sub and elsewhere, but is there a good method of knocking the cravings on the head? I have tried logic and sensible self-talk but all my brain says is, "No logic! Only shopping!" To be honest, my behaviour is scaring me now! TIA!
P.S. I've just checked: I have placed 131 orders on Amazon in the last 3 months. God help me!
submitted by BreadfruitSea2876 to shoppingaddiction [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 13:15 teller_of_tall_tales Life on Lidoffad

Shein watched from the sidewalk as the two humans shook hands before stepping back a few paces from each other.
The stocky one drew a bastard sword with a fat bellied tip. Calmly proclaiming.
"Drake is a better swordsman than the scourge."
The other, much thinner human, drew a long, thin Rapier and donned a chainmail glove. Softly rebuking.
"I believe the scourge is a better swordsman, to first blood?"
The stocky human nodded, a playful grin on his face.
"Try not to take one of my eyes out with one of those wild thrusts you're taught"
The thinner human smiled back, returning a quip of his own.
"As long as you don't try and take my head off, with those wide swings of yours."
The two nodded in agreement.
Then they clashed.
The rapier jabbed at the stocky human's cheek, the stocky human twisting out of the way as the bastard sword's tip flashed inches away from the thin human's throat. The thin human countered by leaning back, throwing a left hook with the chain mail glove. The stocky man ate it, parrying the rapier that whipped for his side before retaliating with a kick to the chest that sent the thinner man stumbling back with a laugh.
They engaged again, the bastard sword swept upwards as the rapier swished down at an angle. The two blades met and the heavier bastard sword pushed the rapier aside, the rapier redirecting the bastard sword slightly away from the thin man's face. Locking the two chest to chest. Each other's blades locked at the cross guard before they broke away.
The rapier thrusted, the bastard sword cleaved through the air.
A line was cut on the stocky man's cheek just as the tip of the bastard sword opened up a small, two inch long cut across the other's sternum.
The two humans felt their injuries, saw the blood and smiled. The stocky man sheathed his bastard sword and extended the hand he'd touched the cut with, blood on his fingers.
"Good work as always Thomas, you're getting quicker with that needle of yours."
Thomas smiled and shook the stocky man's hand with his own bloodied one.
"I can say the same Gary, that blade of yours is getting harder and harder to redirect almost took my nose off with that upward swing."
Gary smiled and gave a hearty laugh before clapping his friendly rival on the back.
"Let's go get a beer and compare notes then. Tangling up my sword guard with the basket hilt? Brilliant idea."
The two human's voices faded into the usual burble as everyone continued on with their day. Taking a moment to watch Gary and Thomas's weekly duel was a common past time in the forge district.
Shein stopped by a food cart manned by a cephalopod, who was selling fried octopus.
"Hey Tignak, get any confused tourists today that accuse you of cannibalism?"
There was a sound like a dozen suction cups being pulled off of one another, the cephalopod's version of laughter. The vendors voice appearing in her head after a small pulse that she could accept or deny access to.
"A few, they seem to forget I'm a terrestrial squid and not a deep water octopus. Besides, if I tasted anywhere near this good, I'd just lop a few feet of each limb off, fry it and sell it. They'd grow back in a day or two and I'd save a ton on groceries."
Shein laughed with Tignak, imagining the sight of him casually frying the end of one of his own tentacles.
"I don't doubt Tig, speaking of which. I'm visiting my old man and you know how much he loves your cooking."
She felt Tig's smile in her mind even though the octopus's face was completely unreadable. Just a very large eye staring back at her.
"Of course, you know Frank and I go way back, have these on the house."
Tig took a few fresh squid, whacked them against the table to kill them instantly before starting to fry them up. It only took a few minutes for the many armed food cart manager to cook and box up a half dozen fried squid. Shein took the box gratefully and bowed her head to Tig.
"Thank you Tig, I owe you one, if you need anything you know how to reach me."
The cephalopod gave a salute with an unoccupied tentacle.
"No worries Ms. Stein, please visit more often, I enjoy our little chats."
Shein smiled and turned to walk off, using her nimble tail to drop a twenty credit piece in Tignak's tip jar. It had been awhile since she'd last seen her dad, her job took her to some pretty far away places for long periods. But whenever she knocked on his door, that tired old mouse always answered with gusto.
Shein plodded her way down the main street, picking up some small material samples from the local smiths for her father's experiments. As she neared the warehouse her father had converted into a machine shop and living quarters. She knocked on the door rather roughly, hearing a pneumatic hiss on the other side and the impact of metal against flesh.
Without a second's more hesitation, Shein ripped the door open, concern etched across her face.
"Shit! You good doc? that sounded like it hurt!"
The old mousian was laughing, a bruise on his furless cheek where Ferrick's new arm had punched him with pneumatic assistance. Ferrick knelt by the laughing mousian, a concerned look on his face as he swept his now gunmetal grey hair out of his eyes.
Doctor Franklin Neville Stein simply patted the cyborgs still intact upper bicep, chuckling as he scratched one of his tattered ears.
"Ah! consider it a function check my boy! That was barely at ten percent power and it knocked me flat!"
Ferrick looked down at his new arm and began chuckling with the mad doctor before pulling the much smaller mousian to their feet.
"Doctor's orders, unrefusable! Good work on the arm though, if that was ten percent I can't imagine what fifty or a hundred would've done."
Dr.Frank nodded, the maniac glint of a mad scientist coming to his eyes.
"With the newly improved valves and better seals, you could punch a hole in starship armor at seventy. One hundred and you might just punch through the entire ship!"
The two old galactic adventures laughed together. Before shein cleared her throat.
The two men slowly, guiltily turned around as Shein gave them both a dirty look, hand slipping away from the handgun she kept at the small of her back. She pointed at her dad.
"We've discussed this dad, stay out of range of your own machines when you're working on them."
She glared at Ferrick who sheepishly looked down. She did take a bit of pride in that, she was the only person he feared pissing off.
"And you! I told you not to let him work on your prosthetics while they're still attached! Do we need to have another Icarus scenario to deal with?"
Ferrick mumbled back sheepishly.
"We only leveled the warehouse once..."
Shein slapped her palm against her face, dragging it down in exasperation before simply saying.
"Leveled it? Yeah you've only done that once. However, you two have burned it down, shot bowling balls through the walls, created a miniature sun that bathed everything in lethal amounts of UV radiation after the containment field lost power. Or that time it got sucked into the warp because you two couldn't get it through your thick skulls why we dont open portals to the warp in atmosphere. You're extremely lucky neither of you got sucked in with it."
Shein took a deep breath and let it out slowly before setting the box of fried squid on the metal dinner table. The two old veterans of intergalactic conflicts hanging their head in shame after being berated by a journalist. Then Shein started snickering softly before saying.
"I love you both, but seriously, when you two get together they seriously consider evacuating parts of the forge district in case one of your guy's experiments goes away. Again. Anyway, let's eat, I'm hungry."
The two old men smiled at each other and gave a chuckle before joining Shein at the table. Shein was munching on the fried tentacle of a squid when ferrick turned to her father.
"How's the artificial blackhole coming along?"
"Swimmingly, it just stabilized last night and is ready for observa-"
The two men were distracted from their conversation by Shein slamming her head into the table. Her voice muffled as she stated.
"You two are the dumbest fucking geniuses I know. Dad, please for the love of God, get rid of the black hole."
Dr.Frank sheepishly looked between ferrick and his daughter. Ferrick shrugged as if to say.
'might as well be honest old man'
Clearing his throat Dr.Frank sheepishly replied.
"Sweetheart, it's a black hole... The most I can do is keep it stable until it runs out of energy."
Shein looked at her father.
"And how long will that take?"
Her father grimaced.
"More... More than two hundred and fifty thousand years give or take."
Shein just groaned as she lowered her head back to the table. Quietly muttering to herself.
"How can they be so smart yet so dumb at the same time. Thank God neither of them care about intergalactic domination."
Ferrick turned back to Dr.Frank, a smile creeping onto his face as he overheard Shein's mumblings.
"So how's the manifesto going Frank?"
"FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK YOU TWO, JUST BE NORMAL FOR FIVE SECONDS!"
The exasperated reporter cried out. Sending both Ferrick and Dr.Frank into howls of laughter as she finally realized they were fucking with her.
"You two are insufferable. One of these days you're going to give me an aneurysm with your antics."
She chuckled and shook her head.
"Glad you didn't actually make a black hole dad."
The two men's laughter suddenly stopped and they shared a glance.
Shein pinched her nose and sighed defeatedly.
"Scratch that, I think I just had one. I'm going home before you two summon some eldritch horror or something."
submitted by teller_of_tall_tales to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 13:02 TonyTony1287 The Walking Dead Ranking Every Episode

Oh my God was this list hard to rank 😅 I took about I would say at least 15 hours of my time into this and all of that was just to rank them at a certain level without much to say. First off we have about 8 Tiers from F,D,C,B,A,S,SS, and Premium though I barely put much into their. Remember this is just an opinion so don't take too harshly if your favorite episode isn't high on my list. For some episodes I may not say much or anything since this was too long originally.
F Tier, these are my least favorite episodes and most likely I have a vendetta against them in some way that made it hard for me to like them
  1. S2 Ep 8 Nebraska- I hate Lori and I think this episode expresses it, most definitely a vendetta. I didn't exactly like the stuff with Hershel and recovering though it was okay, but lori made some questionable decisions to go off on her own to look for Rick even though she should know he's fine seriously. She wrecks a car and then barely dies from a walker, mind you she is pregnant and shouldn't do these things easily my least favorite episode.
  2. S10 Ep 21 Diverged- I honestly forget this episode so much since it has nothing truly interesting or important to the story
  3. S7 Ep 6 Swear- this episode feels slow paced and dull due to oceanside being not seen well for me and I feel like Tara put on the best performance she could for it.
  4. S8 Ep 2 The Damned- this episode to me was just a lot of action and in the walking dead I don't want that. We see a couple of characters die (including Francine 🪦 I absolutely loved her character and hate how she died here :[ mindless) Erics death started here, but it just wasn't impactful enough.
  5. S3 Ep 11 I Ain't a Judas- Andrea is a boring character in the show and I hate her in this episode. The focus should've been on the prison honestly and maybe If she killed the Governor I would've understood her more.
  6. S10 Ep 20 Splinter- if most of the episode was real I would've loved it, but they weren't...
  7. S3 Ep 5 Say the Word- Andrea just isnt much good in this episode and Rick going crazy wasn't a fun idea to me.
  8. S8 Ep 3 Monsters- aside from the one fight with Rick I really didn't care much for it again for the fighting and having Morales return and die felt out of place.
  9. S2 Ep 2 Bloodletting- the group searching for Sophia was okay for a concept, but this episode was okay and went slow paced for me until the end.
D Tier, moving on these episodes were for me mostly just forgettable or boring so I won't say much except they weren't all bad
  1. S1 Ep 3 Tell it to the frogs- first off S1 won't be all high because I'm ranking EVERY episode, but this one felt slow in pace more as well compared to the last two. Shane was a badass though.
  2. S11 Ep 3 Hunted- Forgettable... Not much to say.
  3. S5 Ep 11 The Distance- Forgot entirely this was an episode, after rewatch still don't like it except for Aaron.
  4. S2 Ep 9 Trigger finger- It was a bit better than Nebraska, mostly cause of the Randel scenes.
  5. S7 Ep 14 The Other Side- Sasha somewhat makes a noble decision.
163-162. S11 Episodes 22 following 21- 22 had the Warden being uninteresting as a villain and 21 was boring as can be which is why they sit besides each other.
  1. S8 Ep 7 Time for After- I don't like the plans they have to deviate from Rick and him going to Jadis again feels like a horrible decision on his part.
  2. S9 Ep 8 Evolution- The ambience is the best part, though I hated Jesus' s death as it felt like a bad sendoff.
C Tier, These are a bunch of boring and hard to follow episodes that have some highs that keep it out of former tiers.
  1. S2 Ep 1 What lies Ahead- I liked the RV scene with Andrea, but what follows is dull.
  2. S11 Ep 4- The pope is somewhat average.
  3. S7 Ep 12 Say Yes- The carnival was a nice scenery for TWD, but they had too many fake outs with the walker "shooting" at them and the deer fake out.
  4. S9 Ep 7 Stradivarius- The Search for Eugene feels tiring to follow what's happening and I ended up watching the episodes once and never again because of it.
  5. S2 Ep 4 Cherokee Rose- Watching the episode is fun because of the well, though I feel like it was stupid as an idea as the group should have more common sense before doing something dumb.
  6. S2 Ep 3 Save The Last One- Shane was horrifying, but the rest was dull.
  7. S8 Ep 14 Still gotta mean something- Rick felt unnecessarly cold hearted in this episode killing off the Saviors that helped him which I didn't like, though Jared got a well deserved death.
  8. S4 Ep 9 After -It was okay watching Carl try to scavenge while Rick was injured and I liked the scene with his shoe being lost.
  9. S7 Ep 5 Go Getters- the episode itself wasn't bad yet I never really enjoyed it too much aside from Maggie being a badass and the ending was pretty good.
  10. S4 Ep 10 Inamtes- Inmates was a pretty well rounded episodes showing off some of the group which I liked seeing Tyreese the most.
  11. S8 Ep 6 The King, The Widow, and Rick- the episode was pretty lackluster for me and I didn't really appeal to seeing the garbage people much in this or everyone going to attack the saviors which was a dumb move to do. Ezekiel was probably the most fun of the episode.
  12. S3 Ep 16 Welcome to the Tombs- the finale for season 3 has always been horrible as it barely gives tension between the Governor and Ricks group, it just felt unfitting for a finale.
  13. S11 Ep 8 For blood- it was a okay Mid Season finale to say the least (sorry, 1/3 season finale). I did like some of the parts in it with Maggie which is why it sits higher than others.
  14. S5 Ep 7 Crossed- I thoroughly enjoyed the chase scene between the three officers and Ricks group, but that was about it.
  15. S4 Ep 13 Alone- I liked watching the parts of the group split up, except for Maggie, Bob, and Sasha as they felt very uneventful to me. What makes this episode better had to be the part about Daryl and Beth with the ending of the introduction to Joe's group.
  16. S7 Ep 10 New Best Friends- a lot of these parts I forgot about in this episode when it came to the Kingdom though after rewatching it I enjoyed those parts more than the Garbage people. I just honestly think Jadis's group is uninteresting and makes for no substance.
  17. S10 Ep 15 The Tower- I sometimes forget about this episode and it's premise with Beta, but I think it holds up enough for a weird one and The stuff with princess was okay.
  18. S9 Ep 3 Warning signs- I think the episode was okay, I just didn't like Season 9 A that much...
B tier, now we get to the episodes I could watch again in the past 6 months or binge through without skipping
  1. S11 Ep 2 Acheron Part 2- this was close to being put into C tier since I really hated some parts about it like how they left Gage to die and still had to fight off dozens of walking regardless. The group in the first two episodes seem to switch off and on from good to bad.
  2. S7 Ep 4 Service- for some reason people hate this episode and I can't see why except for the fact it mainly deals with Negan at Alexandria; in my opinion it was him and a couple other characters who saved season 7 and 8 for me.
  3. S10 Ep 3 Ghosts- I forget the episode...
  4. S10 Ep 7 Open Your Eyes- I thought the episode was fine as I don't hate Siddiq and all, though I liked and hated the ending as I loved the twist of Dante and hated that Siddiq had to die so early on.
  5. S6 Ep 7 Heads Up- I didn't like the twist of Glenn and all, but I liked the suspicion with Carol and Morgan as well as the Ending being dramatic.
  6. S8 Ep 11 Dead or Alive- it's not good to know when you remember an episode due to bad things. Daryl has been making more off decisions for the character and Tara seems to be completely Reckless now making me hate her moving forward.
  7. S4 Ep 4 Indifference- The Scenes with Carol and Rick we're amusing with crude Humour as well as some more tense scenes in my opinion and I hated/liked when Rick told Carol she couldn't come back.
  8. S3 Ep 6 Hounded- honestly I would've rather put this episode a little bit higher due to Merle (probably my favorite charcater which contributes to a lot of episodes being higher) being a badass while fighting Michonne and pulling out puns as well. The reason it doesn't get higher is still due to Rick and the phone situation being uneventful.
  9. S11 Ep 9 No Other Way- Alden dies in this episode which I should've seen coming that sucks. The ending feels misleading a bit though everything else in the middle is pretty great.
  10. S11 Ep 5 Out of the Ashes- literally the only reason I put this here was due to Lance so deal with it!
  11. S4 Ep 11 Claimed- Rick had a pretty solid pair of scenes with the Claimers and I liked watching Glenn and Tara (Surprisingly).
  12. S10 Ep 13 What We Become- I thought the flashbacks/hallucinations we're pretty good, but aside from that this episode was just mediocre.
  13. S9 Ep 4 The Obliged- I liked watching Daryl and Rick fight each other over different views on how everything should be and the ending I thought was pretty suspenseful as well as the saviors and oceanside.
  14. S11 Ep 15 Trust- Lance feels exactly like the Governor in some of these episodes which is what I like about him, and from here I start to enjoy Princess maybe because Mercer is around more xd.
  15. S10 Ep 17 Home Sweet Home- I thought Maggie was a good enough concept for an episode with the reapers, though it didn't hit that hard watching again. It still Is most definitely better than the other 3 episodes of S10 part C but enough for A Tier.
A Tier, after this point complaints may start to stop, but that doesn't mean entirely. These episodes I enjoy watching over and over again with some good tension and comedy as well.
  1. S1 Ep 5 Wildfire- For the episodes Jim was in I liked him and learning his backstory as well so this was a pretty fun episode.
  2. S4 Ep 15 Us- the stuff with Abraham and their group was pretty wholesome to me and I liked Joe for the time being in here seeing how he is pretty fair to be honest giving things where they are due and trust to Daryl.
  3. S6 Ep 11 Knots Untie- I somewhat feel like the episode drags due to there being too much at hilltop, but it is a new community so I can't truly argue. I remember enjoyably when Rick stopped the assassination attempt.
  4. S8 Ep 9 Honor- the beginning with Carl I thought was good to showcase the events that unfolded before the decimation and Carl's death hit hard.
  5. S5 Ep 4 Slabtown- I personally don't mind the hospital arc too much, yet it won't get all of it's episodes too high of course. I liked watching Noah and Beth converse and I thought this was a new era for the walking dead.
  6. 10 Ep 1 Lines we Cross- the part with the Satellite was amusing to watch as it was a big change to see and I like that about the walking dead on occasions.
  7. S9 Ep 6 Who are you now?- I liked learning of Luke's Group (you heard me, Luke's Group) and what they have been like learning of some of their past.
  8. S10 Ep 8 The World Before- I liked mostly just watching two scenes, the beginning with Dante and Gabriel and Dante. I loved the fact no one even considered a Whisperer living amongst them and how he did some much devious stuff was mind boggling and amazing to watch. When Gabriel talks about forgiveness to Dante and kills him shows me how Gabriel has changed the past seasons.
  9. S7 Ep 9 Rock in the Road- Rick gives off a good speech to Ezekiel and I liked seeing him and Morgan reunite again. The stuff with Gabriel wasn't too bad either.
  10. S3 Ep 9 The Suicide King- the Governor finally seems to be starting to let things of him slip which I love to see. I also enjoyed watching Merle with Daryl as well too.
  11. S11 Ep 11 Rouge element- I thought that the twist of Steph was pretty good and I don't mind the episode being a bit long and tedious for it's reveal.
  12. S11 Ep 23 Family- I loved the fact Lydia got bit just because it shows us that people can still get bit and survive. It shows to me that in the finale no one could be truly safe even though Luke gets bit and still dies.
  13. S11 Ep 17 Lockdown- Saving Sebastian was okay ig.
  14. S8 Ep 10 The Lost and The Plunderers- Simon's character I think was made perfectly as he is a hotheaded person who is all about power and showing that off. Killing most of the Garbage people was terrifying to watch and showed how Negan could be more merciful than others.
  15. S1 Ep 1 Days Gone Bye- I think for the pilot it did it's job well and showed off enough of what the show could be. Of course this doesn't mean it was all good but as pilots go it was pretty solid.
  16. S11 Ep 1 Acheron Part 1- The only reason I put it this high was for the interrogation scenes especially when it came down to Ezekiel. Him and Mercer are honestly a great pair and I love his ending to the show as it's fitting.
  17. S5 Ep 10 Them- after losing most of the group it seems like a fitting episode of despair and plays it perfectly.
  18. S5 Ep 12 Remember- the first shown scenes of Alexandria was pretty good and I liked the interviews scene too. We also saw a lot of new character introductions.
  19. S11 Ep 6 On The Inside- The ferals was a nice touch of horror that I never knew I could need. Making the people with the ferals Virgil and Connie made the most perfect sense as well.
  20. S6 Ep 13 Not Tomorrow Yet- this episode shows off how our group is seeming to be the bad guys starting to kill people in their sleep. I like how Glenn and Heath have their first kills and show how they are changing.
  21. S7 Ep 1 The day will come when you won't be- I like the title as it references Doctor Jenner, but for the episode I liked Negan and that's mostly it. Seeing two people die was horrible to me, but necessary and since I don't rank episodes for being bad due to deaths I can still rank them high.
  22. S6 Ep 16 Last Day on Earth- Simon has a good introduction and I like them trying to get from point A to B, but what stands out to me most is probably Abraham and Eugene with his speech about him
  23. S7 Ep 15 Something they need- Sasha was probably the highlight of the episode for me and I liked them and Negan's interactions. It Is a good effort to show that they aren't all monsters and I like seeing Eugene as well.
  24. S3 Ep 7 When the Dead come knocking- Glenn and his interrogation with Merle was amazing and I liked seeing Glenn's true will shine.
  25. S8 Ep 12 The Key- I don't like this episode much honestly if it wasn't for Negan and Ricks Speech as well as Simon and his deviousness.
  26. S8 Ep 1 Mercy- the beginning I had to move up due to some good portions of it like Rick and Negan. I also liked the ending a lot even though I watched the trailer a lot and knew of Gabriel and Negan's interactions.
  27. S9 Ep 1 a New Beginning- wow two series beginnings next to each other... Yeah it's weird but they weren't exactly S Tier Material. The beginning with them trying to get a horse accessory was great tension to watch and I already love Ricks Beard.
  28. S10 Ep 18 Find me- okay so maybe I exaggerated My feeling towards Season 10 C a bit since I like some of the episodes a bit and others worse. The reason I put this here is mostly good plot lines and that was it.
Around here I wanted to say the reason for some episodes ranking higher is due to the fact the others are horrible and some of these have redeeming qualities. It's hard to put over 150 episodes ranked from horrible to greatness and know the points of interest.
  1. S3 Ep 3 Walk With Me- Merle brings joy to me seeing him again and I love him from here on out. I like how the Governor seems to be innocent enough until the big reveal with the militia which is amazingly put.
  2. S10 Ep 9 Squeeze- I hate Squeeze... There i said it. The cave sucks honestly and Id rather not watch it again because of that, but Negan is the only saving grace for this episode and if it wasn't for him I would never watch this episode again.
  3. S8 Ep 13 Do Not Send Us Astray- Simon attacking the Hilltop was the most great action of this season that I never minded and it felt terrifying after Tobin's fate was sealed.
  4. S3 Ep 12 Clear- I had to move it from S Tier, but nevertheless a great episode. Morgan's return was done perfectly and I felt like his character did a full 180 after this. Michonne and Carl's side story was also good.
  5. S2 Ep 12 Better Anglels- Shane and Ricks final confrontation was amazingly executed and loved the difference from the Comics with Rick killing shane and Carl shooting his reanimated self; Shane and Randel was also good too.
  6. S4 Ep 12 Still- Daryl and Beth make sense to pair together and I like seeing how we get a bit more back story to his character. They feel like the most perfect example to put for a mismatched pair.
  7. S6 Ep Thank You- The journey with Glenn's group trying to get back was amusing to see even though the dumpster ending wasnt really the best, still horrible to see.
  8. S10 Ep 4 Silence the Whisperers- Negan and Lydia have a good bond and I like how Negan defends her even though I hate how no one believes Lydia that Negan protected her.
  9. S8 Ep 4 Some Guy- I still love watching Ezekiel and the Kingdom so I enjoy this episode and how he feels defeated the whole time. Jerry is the best bodyguard in my opinion as well as it is shown and Shivas death is heartbreaking.
  10. S5 Ep 8 Coda- The reason I put this soo high was due to Rick and Bob. I did like the ending a bit even though I feel like Beth's death could've been avoided.
  11. S3 Ep 14 Prey- originally this episode was C Tier for me, but I re-watched it and put it this high due to the Governor being a literal psycho and I love this side of him.
  12. S11 Ep 20 What's been Lost- Lance felt underutilized as soon as he died, I really wished they could've made a difference with his exit on the show.
  13. S8 Ep 8 How it's gotta be- Forgot about Natanias death.
  14. S11 Ep 7 Promises Broken- Negan and Maggie had a good talk together about before.
  15. S10 Ep 6 Bonds- Okay.. XD.
  16. S6 Ep 10 The Next world- I thought the stuff with Rick, Daryl, and Jesus was goofy, but great.
  17. S11 Ep 19 Varient- I do like the idea of evolving walkers though I feel like it was a bit late in the show.
  18. S3 Ep 13 Arrow on the Doorstep- the meeting was just terrific to watch as the Governor is so sinister inside it with Milton and Hershel having a good talk as well with Martinez and Daryl having a good show off time. Merle and Glenn have some good times too.
  19. S9 Ep 2 The Bridge- The log scene was amazing and Aaron had a good scene with the amputation.
S Tier, These episodes are some of my favorite to watch with a good glass of Tea and some snacks.
  1. S7 Ep 7 Sing me a song- Negan and Carl were fun to watch as well as some more insight on the sanctuary as Daryl breaks free. Negan and Carl also Bond.
  2. S10 Ep 10 Stalker- Daryl VS Alpha!!!
  3. S11 Ep 16 Acts of God- Lance is very horrifying as to what his next move is and Leah's stuff was good.
  4. S3 Ep 8 Made to suffer- it was a great Mid season finale as I enjoyed the fight with the Governor and Rick as well as the ending with Merle and Daryl.
  5. S2 Ep 6 Secrets- Glenn has to deal with hiding multiple people's secrets and I feel like the comedy is pure gold here.
  6. S1 Ep 2 Guts- The rooftops scenes were great as well as the parts where they wear guys to avoid the walkers, it always felt like a sense of panic in this episode.
  7. S9 Ep 9 Adaptation- the introduction to Alpha was simple enough and I feel like it's a good episode.
  8. S11 Ep 10 New Haunts
  9. S11 Ep 12 The Lucky Ones- Carol finally feels a little bit like she's back to her old self in this community with Lance and their deals.
  10. S4 Ep 1 30 days without and Accident- probably my second favorite of the beginning episodes as it demonstrates exactly how the group has got along since the recent events. Has a good story with the shopping market and the roof caving in was awesome.
  11. S3 Ep 10 Home- this episode shows how Merle and Daryl are far apart which I can still keep watching Merle and be entertained as well as the fight scene at the end with the Governor being cocky as can be.
  12. S9 Ep 16 The Storm- snow is a new but simple thing that I like along with Negan Earning trust with Michonne.
  13. S10 Ep 2 We are the End of the World- Gamma saving Alpha is one of my favorite scenes of how it shows Alphas power towards the group and influence on it's people.
  14. S6 Ep 8 Start to Finish- The walls coming down had an interesting story as well as many like the Wolf getting loose and Diana having a badass/amazing exit.
  15. S9 Ep 11 Bounty- The Movie Theatre scene was pretty good as well as Alpha with and Lydia.
  16. S5 Ep 2 Strangers- The uneasy feeling of Gabriel is pretty good to show the groups trust and I like how the ending is played out with the reveals.
  17. S11 Ep 13 Warlords- The Complex is a pretty good place to see and I like seeing the evolution of Negan and Aaron.
  18. S9 Ep 15 The Calm Before- The highlight is the end with the pikes though it made sense for the lesser characters. I hated seeing Henry and Enid die (Not with Tara).
  19. S10 Ep 11 Morning Star- The start of the battle is ingenius with the tree sap fire scene and it makes for a suspenseful ending to the episode to come.
  20. S9 Ep 5 What come After- The episode is meant to be a sendoff for Rick so I'll rank it about everything else instead. I did enjoy some of the sequences with Hershel and I loved seeing Shane again. He really puts perspective on some episodes like Season 5 which makes me enjoy watching those episodes more as well as Shane. Ricks exit was also done is a pretty good way.
  21. S7 Ep 13 Bury me Here- I liked watching Morgan slowing go back into insanity which I believe is due to PTSD of some sort. The episode feels really well done and I like the ending to it with Richard Dying and Carol being told everything.
  22. S9 Ep 12 Guardians- Alpha is great to watch in this episode and the way she kills the two whispering who challenge them is great!
  23. S8 Ep 5 The Big scary U- the main focus is Negan and Gabriel which is an amazing talk between then two before settling their differences. I also like the unease at the sanctuary through betrayal.
  24. S11 Ep 14 The Rotten core- the whole episode is one of If not my personal favorite to watch for the complex alone being a nice setting. I enjoy every bit of this episode as well as the side deal with Sebastian and how Mercer is revealed to be a pretty nice guy.
  25. S5 Ep 15 Try- The whole episode feels like a decent into madness for Rick seeing everyone against him. I like how he goes into protective cop mode and try to defend the ones he lives as well as his speech at the end.
  26. S11 Ep 18 A New Deal- The whole episode is average, but the ending just feels amazing to rewatch.
  27. S2 Ep 11 Judge, Jury, Executioner- I personally like Dale a lot so I love this episode. It really shows how the group is starting to turn as they believe to do what is best for the group and not morals. Dales death is also very heartfelt to watch and showed off the walkers dangerousness.
  28. S10 Ep 14 Look At The Flowers- Negan and Daryl make a good pair to watch though I enjoyed watching Beta and him struggling to get back on track after Alphas death and I love him so much more for this episode.
  29. S5 Ep 5 Self Help- Daryl and Carol at the moments have some good episodes together so it's not surprise I'd love this episode. With Noah in the episode as well it feels like a amazing show of how the characters (Carol and Daryl) have changed morally.
  30. S6 Ep 13 The Same Boat- Carol has been shown to be ruthless, but this episode shows her true colors as how she doesn't want this to be her life anymore.
  31. S5 Ep 13 Forget- the episode itself has many great minisodes it felt like which was fantastic.
50 and 49. S4 Ep 6 Live Bait and 7 Dead Weight- I put these both here due to the fact of me loving the equally. The 6th episode feels like a showcase of how the Governor gets broken entirely and starts to get built back up positively showing what could have been and for a time it feels beautiful to me. The 7th though shows how some things can mess with his mind and make him go back to being a psychopath that kills everyone he sees.
  1. S8 Ep 16 Wraith- The ending to season 8 was pretty eventful for the battles begin as Eugene saved everyone's asses from a cool trick with the bullets. I am happy that Rick decided to save Negan and I love the episode except for the ending being off-putting with Maggie.
  2. S6 Ep 9 No way Out- The Wolf has a pretty interesting end that I enjoyed to see and aside from the the entire eoisode is the best part. You never feel that sense of boring to it as the action is nonstop great.
  3. S5 Ep 5 Now- I liked small bits and pieces of this episode mostly revolving around Diana and her role starting to change. If she survived I don't doubt I would've loved to see her go through more of an arc.
  4. S7 Ep 11 Hostiles and Calamities- I can see the hate for this episode, though I love it myself. Eugene in my opinion is at his best here and I love watching him here with Negan and their interactions. It was also great how Dwight had framed the doctor.
  5. S5 Ep 6 Consumed- Abraham was one of my favorite characters not just for jokes but for this episode. His backstory is heartbreaking to learn about and relatable. When he falls down after beating Eugene in defeat I can feel his pain with him.
  6. S9 Ep 13 Chokepoint- Daryl VS Beta!!!
SS Tier, after this point there is no bad things that the episodes could have drag it's down. These ones are my person favorites.
Around this time I also realized that it seems my numbers on the side aren't matching so I'm fixing it from here so skip 42- 38. Idk what happened but I messed up somewhere and went to fix it but couldn't find the problem.
  1. S2 Ep 13 Besides the Dying Fire- The walkers attacking the farm was a great scene just as much as the Democracy speech was from Rick, though Lori is horrible to Rick in this episode. Also Rick tells the group "we're all infected"
  2. S4 Ep 2 Infected- I love the scene where Patrick reanimates and the morning fight they have in the prison. So much stuff happens at once. The ending was Great with Tyreese and. The pig scene was sad to watch.
  3. S6 Ep 6 Always Accountable- One time when I like Sasha is this episode with Abraham. Where to begin; The Rocket launcher scene was great, Abraham is great with quips, Daryl with Dwight is a good scene and I love the ending as well.
  4. S6 Ep 14 Twice as Far- The Denise speech wasnt too bad and the death was great. I enjoyed Abraham and Eugene; I think my favorite scenes was with Abraham and Eugene with another one of his speechs towards him which was funny and heartfelt.
  5. S4 Ep 16 A- The best part is when Joe's group comes along and how Rick bites out his throat signifying that he and Shane are now alike. I also like when Rick and Daryl talk as well as Rick figuring out this olace kidnaps people.
  6. S2 Ep 7 Pretty Much dead Already- Shane is what I love about this episode, he and Dale had a really funny encounter and I feel like Shane makes me laugh and be serious at the same time with each scenes. I also like how Rick is more accepting towards Hershel.
  7. S10 Ep 16 A Certain Doom- Beta was good in this episode and had some great parts, but the fights wee great especially the scene with the Music. Betas death felt odd, but that doesn't lower the episode.
  8. S4 Ep 14 The Grove- I mean do I really have to explain? Carol is a savage here and I love when they finally talk about Karen and Davids death here. Nothing in this episode is a low note.
  9. S2 Ep 5 Chupacabra- I love everything about Daryl's scenes in this that show how he is a badass and capable of holding his own. Also love his Hallucinations.
  10. S11 Ep 24 Rest In Peace- certainly wasn't the best finale, but I felt like it did well enough for the episode. It tied up most loose ends for the show given its runtime and I feel like it is fitting enough.
  11. S2 Ep 10 18 Miles Out- my favorite of Season 2 has Shane and Rick have the best battle I have seen even more than The Governor and Rick or Negan and Rick. This battle utilizes both of their strengths and weaknesses with some things that have never been done in the show much more like using your blood to attract walkers to other places. It was an amazing episode all in all.
  12. S1 Ep 6 TS-19- idk what it is but I love watching this episode over and over again and I love it the more I watch it. It is probably because I like Doctor Jenner a bit more in each watching of his tragic backstory with his wife.
  13. S9 Ep 14 Scars- The flahsback was an amazing one that told us something vital to the story about how they don't trust people coming in anymore. What Daryl and especially Michonne went through is tragic.
  14. S5 Ep 3 Four Walls a roof- this episode is perfect for a number of reasons like Bob and his antics or Savage Rick, this was a turning point for the walking dead and this is where Rick gets some of his roots.
  15. S1 Ep 4 Vatos- even though I love TS-19 I love Vatos more. This is unique to some episodes where you see a group just like Ricks that is trying to survive and this is where we realize the world is bigger than we thought still.
  16. S7 Ep 16 The first day of the rest of your Life- The battle was amazing and I feel like this was the best it was going to get for the coming seasons, but season 9 and 10 surprised me.
  17. S10 Ep 5 What it always Is- Negan with the Kid is the highlight I think, I could've honestly seen this going farther, if it wasn't for the former savior. I feel like this was fitting for an entire episode of, but we diverged a bit.
  18. S4 Ep 3 Isolation- Hershel and Tyreese are the highlights for me with Tyreese going berserk and Hershel being a kind soul. This is a staple episode for why Season 4 is amazing and why Hershel is what made season 4 great.
  19. S6 Ep 4 Here's not Here- I love learning about Eastman and Morgan in this one off. I love how it is somewhat told in the first person narrative to the Wolf and how Morgan changed back to who he was. Eastman shows how he and Morgan are pretty similar and why he should be like him.
  20. S5 Ep 14 Spend- aside from Francine being here to be used as eye candy for me I loved how some of Alexandria like and dislike rick's group here. I do hate Noah dying as I feel like he could've been so much more.
  21. S10 19 One More- I love havng the episode based on Aaron and Gabriel as they have came a long way since their beginnings. When they have few an encounter with Mays I felt like this was a testimony to who they are as people. We see how they care for each other and how Mays fails to make a point of who they are until Gabriel Kills him showing he has gone farther away from the light.
  22. S7 Ep 3 Cell- Daryl is locked up and he is now being treated like shit. This episode feels great cause of how it feels like he is trying to break Daryl. Dwight also has a great mission on how he mercy kills a savior and shows he isn't as bad as you may think.
  23. S6 Ep 1 First time again- I do enjoy the setting of the episode how we see the diverge in Alexandria and who listens or hears Rick out. The episode is a great example for staring episodes... But not the best at it.
  24. S5 Ep 9 What Happened and what's going On- I loved Tyreese's character so to see him die was horrible for me. His episodes I feel like was a good send off since it is a test to who he is as a person who is confounded about the world around him.
  25. S3 Ep 4 Killer Within- this episode was played perfectly and I feel like is a good sendoff for other characters as well like how I hate Lori. She is made just a bit better from her sacrifice and thought T-Dog went out in a good way as well. The prisoners also had a good show for their trust.
  26. S4 Ep 5 Interment- this is where Hershel's best episode is as he is the best Samaritan Alive in the apocalypse. At the end where Rick and Carl fend off the walkers inside the gates in a great bond and I love the whole episode.
  27. S6 Ep 3 JSS- it is well rounded and has good action as well as a lot of tension and suspense with Carol showing off her capabilities and Morgan with his philosophy.
Finally we cracked the top ten and into Premium Episodes. If you've made it this far you are are persistent as me... Well probably less since this took a long ass time but still. These are the episodes whee I cherish them and can watch more than once a month.
  1. S8 Ep 15 Worth- Worth has what I want in an episode; good characters and story/plot. Eugene's parts are made more important seeing how he needed to stay at the sanctuary to save Alexandria and the other communities. I loved even more Dwight's part where I have without doubt the most suspense with him and Negan. Simon also had the most best arc death as it felt complete.
  2. S5 Ep 16 Conquer- the episode has a lot of action and the ending was the pivet. I love the speech he has and how Diana let's Rick be in charge now was a sort of cliffhanging ending that signify's perfection.
  3. S5 Ep 1 No sanctuary- both Season 5's beginning and finale are amazing and the way Rick and his group take down Terminus in one episode is amazing as they fight there way out and the scene with Judith was great. Morgan was just a sprinkle of wholesomeness to see.
  4. S10 Ep 12 Walk With Us- The Episode had just enough action, good deaths and character interactions to make it here. First of the battle at hilltop was amazing. The second best thing was Earl and I feel very sad every time I watch this episode at his part. Then the best thing is the end with Alpha and Negan.
  5. S3 Ep 1 Seed- The best beginning to a season it shows how the group has changed since Rick and the prison is a great example. The tombs are a great scenery and the ending was perfect for a cliffhanger as well as Conquer.
  6. S3 Ep 2 Sick- the prisoner episode was pretty good to watch as a group of prisoners try to take on walkers. While some are good others would rather be assertive. Rick has definitely changed since season 2 and the group is played great here and much more human like.
  7. S7 Ep 2 Well- what helps this episode is the last episode before it having a dark tone. This instead has a more uplifting one with the king and with Carol and Morgan being a great pair. The Kingdom seems to be a good community and seeing how Carol tries to smooth talk the king and how he tells whays her bullshit is an amazing scene.
  8. S10 Ep 22 Heres Negan- We realize he was a kinda lousy husband that wasn't really too good to becoming a really supportive husband who cares deeply for his wife Lucille. The story before showed a lot of Negan and how he is and I love Lucille as a character from this episode trying to do whats best for Negan.
  9. S4 Ep 8 Too Far gone- Honestly this IS the best episode, but I am bias so I had to put my own personal favorite above it not to say this isn't right behind it easily. Too far gone is what feels like a season finale but isn't. The Governors first encounter should've been this and I'm glad we got to see it unfold great. Rick has a great speech in it about not being too far gone yet and the Governor killing Hershel to start the best battle of the series. The Governors death feels fitting and the ending was sad and amazing.
Before I get to this last one I wanted to say a thank you in advance to whomever reads this as I really had a hard time making this and spending a lot of time to do this isn't easy. And remember this last episode is my very own person opinion entirely and in no way is it the best of the series definitively, without any furthermore, lets end this.
  1. Season 3 Episode 15 This Sorrowful Life- Now what makes this episode so great to me? Well I'm totally biased towards the actor and the character in the show Merle Dixon. I could watch Merle all day which is what they episode feels like with the perfect duo of Michonne and Merle on their way to the governor. It has some of the most perfect comedy in the episode as well as having the best sacrifice redemption arc and ending. This episode made me laugh, smile, cry and more. There will never be a time when I ever change my opinion about this episode in existence.
Again another huge thanks to everyone and I hope this will satisfy everyones needs... Now I'ma go watch S3 Ep 15 Legit.
submitted by TonyTony1287 to TonysRandomness [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 12:58 Finzombie The Thing in the Cracks Part 2

This is Part 2 because of the character limit, go here to get caught up: https://www.reddit.com/TheDarkGathering/comments/13urkbj/the_thing_in_the_cracks_part_1/
Talbot awoke in a round corridor. At least he thought that’s what it was. The corridor seemed to be made of dark stone, rough and ridged like a worm’s tunnel, but on a massive scale. Despite no visible light source, Talbot found he could make out every detail in the space around him.
Talbot shakily stood up and considered his situation. His hands were shaking. He supposed nearly getting killed by lethal injection and then shattering the very fabric of reality itself took a toll on the psyche. He reflexively reached for his notebook to note that down, and with a pang remembered that it was gone. He would likely never see it again.
Glancing around, Talbot wondered at how normal everything looked, considering he was in the fifth dimension. There was likely more going on under the surface, but from his vantage it just looked like an oddly lit cave.
Talbot noted that there was no sign of Willis. He’d distinctly remembered the other man getting pulled through time and space with him, but at some point during the traversal his hand had been wrenched away from Talbot’s wrist. Had he been shunted back to their reality, or was he here somewhere?
A deep rumble began to grow beneath Talbot’s feet. The entire cave shook like an earthquake as Talbot scrambled to the side of the tube.
Confused, the man glanced around. He saw no probable cause for the rumbling, no subterranean vehicles or even geological fissures that could explain the vibrations.
Turning, he realized with a start that the rumbling was slightly stronger on one side of him. If it was directional, there was an actual source, not just a general shaking of the environment.
Talbot began moving away from the rumbling, as it continued to grow stronger.
Eventually, he broke into a full run as everything around him shook. He felt like his skull was going to burst. It felt like something was chasing him, a massive subterranean beast.
As the rumbling kept growing, Talbot tripped. Out of nowhere, his foot slipped and he sprawled to the ground, crying out as he landed on his arm. He tried to get back up, which was when he realized there was something right behind him.
Talbot hit the deck, right as something zoomed directly above his head. Wind pulled at his hair and it felt like he was directly under a train.
Talbot screamed, but it was drowned out by the impossibly loud whoosh of the thing above him. He gingerly flipped onto his back, barely staying clear of the surface of whatever was making the sound, in order to see what was above him.
There was nothing but empty space.
Then, he could suddenly see a long gray tube rushing past impossibly quickly. Then it was gone again, but the rushing was still there. It was blinking in and out of existence, only appearing for short bursts, but still there in its invisible state. Talbot realized that it must be dipping in and out of the Fifth Dimension, his own limited perception unable to comprehend its greater state.
Eventually, the thing slowed and stopped. As it was still, Talbot got a better look at it.
It was definitely organic. The exterior of the tube had a pale gray color, with a texture not unlike skin. However, as opposed to the neat, even lines separating cells on human skin, the striations on the thing seemed almost random, forming a surface that, although smooth, had the jagged impression of rough crags.
As Talbot examined the thing and wished he’d brought a camera, he heard something. From the object’s direction of origin, a deep groan emanated from lord-knew-where. Talbot winced as it hit his ears, the bellow deafening. He could immediately detect three things about the cry, judging by the cadence and the way it had slowly grown from an origin point. First, it definitely came from a living thing. Nothing artificial made that noise. Second, it came from very far away. And thirdly, it came from something massive. Impossibly so.
From the other direction, so comparably quiet he barely heard, Talbot made out a shriek that was horribly human.
The thing above him shifted and despite having almost a foot of clearance, Talbot instinctively sucked in his gut.
The tube… the limb began moving in the opposite direction, back towards its origin point.
Like a train, it started slowly but accelerated quickly, beginning to blink in and out of Talbot’s vision once again.
Talbot heard the scream again, closer this time. It seemed likely that whatever this thing was had found and grabbed another person.
After several long moments, the end of the limb finally reached Talbot, shooting past and above him like a tape measure shooting back into its shell when a button was pressed.
After it passed, Talbot sprang to his feet and finally got a good look at the end of the thing’s limb. The actual tube rounded off, dispelling any predictions about a monstrous tentacle. However, what was on the end of the limb may’ve been even more horrible.
Four long finger-like appendages were arranged around the limb radially, each one emerging from the edge of the flat tendril end. They were unnaturally thin, and despite somewhat resembling fingers, they had no visible knuckles and were tipped with sharp claws that appeared to be made of bone. They bent in, each holding their prey in place. Their prey in question was Tim Willis, currently pulling against the monstrous cage. The four outer digits pressed on each of his limbs, drawing blood where they poked him.
The limb, and Willis with it, disappeared around a bend in the tunnel. Talbot ran after it. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, or if he was going to save the man, but he knew that no matter what happened, he wanted to see it.
For a long while Talbot chased the thing, barely keeping pace due to his cardio experience. During the run, whatever existed here continued bellowing, getting louder each time. In addition, each time he set his foot down, the ground felt slightly warmer.
Eventually he fell back, and lost sight of the thing completely. It was impressive that a man of his age and lifestyle had managed to follow the thing for so long, but he had to take a knee as exhaustion racked him. He continued following its path, but at a slower pace.
Eventually Talbot emerged into a much larger chamber. The air here was blistering, and the intermittent bellows had grown so loud that Talbot had to cover his ears every few minutes to keep from suffering permanent damage.
This cavern left him speechless.
Unlike the passage, with its unidentifiable neutral lighting, this cavern was dark, intermittently lit by what appeared to be giant glowworms, each perched on a rock surface and oozing an ugly orange aura into the space around it.
Less than half of the room was lit, but it was enough for Talbot to see that the remaining more-than-half was taken up by a monstrous… thing the same shade as the limb.
It was like a spider, in the same way that a massive dragonfish from the bottom of the sea is like a goldfish. Its main body was shaped like a blimp, and about the size of one too. A large abdomen sagged beneath it as it hung in the exact center of the room, and eight radially symmetrical limbs stuck to eight points around the cavern, suspending it in the middle of the room, and making it look like the center of a giant wheel, each limb serving as the spokes.
This facsimile was somewhat broken by the auxiliary limbs attached to its thorax, countless smaller tendrils identical to the one that held Willis. Some hovered around the thing’s ‘face’, while others darted towards countless holes in the rock around the cavern. As they moved, they blinked in and out of Talbot’s vision as they tapped into primordial forces beyond his eyes.
The cavern was dotted with holes, all exactly the same size and shape as the one Talbot stood in the lip of now. He realized that this thing and its countless appendages must’ve bored into the stone around it, creating a labyrinthine lair not dissimilar to an ant’s hive, but with one crucial difference. Rather than hundreds of tiny workers, this entire place had been built by, and for, one monstrous being.
Talbot was so stunned by the beast that he didn’t notice one of its many tendrils coming straight for him.
It appeared directly in front of his face, resulting in a jumpscare that sent him tumbling backwards, falling onto his back.
The thing moved like a snake, if a snake was constantly flipping between visible and invisible.
It struck, speeding downwards towards the chemist. Talbot braced for impact, but just before it could hit him it disappeared.
Talbot sat relieved, as it had apparently teleported somewhere else.
That was until it reappeared with the fingers around his torso.
The tendril had re-manifested just past him, the fingers clipping partway into the floor as they cradled him. Talbot felt four small pricks in his back and the backs of his thighs, where the claws had pierced his flesh.
The thing pulled him upwards, the fingers embedded in the ground breaking out of the stone beneath him and sending chunks of rock several feet in all directions.
The tendril shot up towards the ceiling of the cavern, rising what must’ve been 60 feet in half a second. Talbot could barely see the ground around the tendril, far enough below to dizzy him.
Talbot saw stars.
Talbot wished he could see the stars.
The tendril took him, in a daze, towards the thing’s face. As Talbot grew closer, he heard a ragged hissing, like an oxygen tank leaking. He realized it was the monster breathing, but immediately was unsure once its head turned toward him.
Its head was roughly human-shaped, but utterly inhuman in every other way. Five dark pits, facsimiles of eyes, were arranged in a pentagonal shape on the top half of its face. The bottom half was flat skin, but flat skin that seemed to be vertically stretched, as though it’d been draped over some opening. That was possibly where the breathing was coming from, but there was no way to tell with no actually apparent orifice.
The thing seemed to sniff Talbot, despite having no nose. Then it turned, and brought another piece of potential food to its head.
With a start, Talbot realized Willis was still alive. Or at least, unconsumed. He hung limp from his tendril, held in place by the finger-things and seemingly unconscious.
But the Thing wasn’t interested in either of them, not yet at least. It brought one of its tendrils up to its head before plunging it directly toward a nearby rock face. Right before it made contact, it disappeared.
Talbot reached towards Willis, but he was just outside of his reach. He didn’t want to yell to the man. The thing had no ears, but there was no guarantee that it couldn’t hear somehow.
The tendril that the thing had sent away reappeared, seemingly partially buried in the rock face. The thing wrenched its tendril from the rock, leaving behind a shallow pockmark in the cave.
Skewered on the spine was a small man. He flailed wildly and screamed something in a language Talbot didn’t know. He was wearing a business suit, but his pants were around his ankles, with baby blue boxers underneath.
Talbot wondered where he’d come from, then realized with a start that he’d likely originated from the real world. Meaning that this thing could reach beyond this reality and into their reality. Oh shit. Maybe he should’ve listened to Talc. If he and Willis hadn’t breached the Fifth Dimension, maybe the thing couldn’t’ve done the same, and this man might still be safe out there.
The thing brought the man towards its face and did the strange sniffing motion again. Satisfied, it brought him even closer. Talbot, despite himself, was curious to see how it consumed prey, and so paused in his attempts to wake Willis in order to watch.
The man screamed as the tendril brought him right up to the thing’s face, and then the thing’s face disappeared, moving through the Fifth Dimension in the same way as its tendrils.
When it reappeared, it was halfway inside the man, the smooth layer of skin clipped through his abdomen.
The thing pulled its head back.
Talbot turned away as a bloodcurdling scream and a terrible ripping sound reverberated through the cavern. He reached for Willis again, and to his surprise, found that he could reach him. He tapped him on the shoulder, and when he got no response, he slapped him in the face. Willis stirred, and slowly opened his eyes. He put a hand to his face and frowned. “Ow,” he said quietly.
Talbot put a finger to his lips and indicated the beast’s head with his eyes, and the gruesome consumption of the poor man.
Willis seemed to get the message. He quietly started prying each finger off of his body, praying that the thing had no nerves in the spines.
Talbot turned back towards the creature, which had repeated the teleportation maneuver a few more times before finally swallowing what remained of the man. Seemingly not quite satiated, Talbot’s tendril began to move as it pulled him closer to its face.
Talbot’s eyes widened and he looked back at Willis in fear. The man made a motion that suggested Talbot should try to stay calm, and that Willis would be along as soon as he’d freed himself.
Talbot tensed as he was pulled along, not wanting to be brought any closer to the monster. The thing brought him up to its face, and seemed to study him with the light-sensitive divots in its face. Talbot glanced back at Willis to see that he’d moved 2 of 4 fingers out of place. The larger man shot him a reassuring nod.
Turning back to the monster, Talbot realized that the other man wouldn’t get here in time. The thing was already lunging its head forward, and it blinked away.
It reappeared with Talbot’s shins inside its face. Behind the skin, Talbot’s feet could feel a damp cavity, so there was presumably a mouth of some sort behind the surface, and it wasn’t just solid flesh. A row of teeth closed around his legs, but not hard. They worked more to keep him in place than to actually damage his legs.
Talbot took a second to wonder why the hell he was considering the consumption mechanics of something that was actively chopping off his legs.
The tendril moved backwards, pulling Talbot away from the thing.
These last few lucid seconds, Talbot’s brain reverted to factory reset settings. Instead of hearing the wet tear of both his legs, or the strangely cartoonish wet pop as the bones in both his shins were yanked away from his kneecaps, he found himself focusing on the strangest things.
Talbot considered the glowworms. Were they native to the Fifth Dimension, or had they come here from his, or another, Earth? If they were native, the convergent evolution with Earth glowworms, especially in an environment so alien, was coincidental to an unfathomable degree. If they had originated from Earth, however, why the orange glow? No glow worms on Earth glowed orange. Also, if they were Earthly, why did the thing not eat them? Did it only eat humans? Was it that cunning? That cruel?
Oh, Talbot realized, I’m falling.
He blacked out before hitting the ground.
Talbot’s first thought upon waking up was, Holy shit, I’m still alive. His second thought was, Holy shit, how the hell am I still alive?
His inner ear told him he was prone, but it’d been on the fritz ever since he’d arrived, so he opened his eyes to make sure. They confirmed what his ear was saying, and he took a quick second to thank all his organs for functioning so well under stress.
Willis sat next to him, notably more intact. He was wearing no shirt, and both his abdomen wound and Talbot’s stubs were bound in the fabric of an Anderson Innovations janitor’s uniform.
Talbot started staring at his abs, which caused Willis to glance down at him.
The other man cleared his throat. “Oh, you’re still alive?”
Talbot nodded softly. “Does it not know where we are?”
“Not yet,” Willis shrugged, “It has no eyes and didn’t see us escape, so it’s sending out tendrils through each passage, and hasn’t picked this one yet. I guess we got lucky when I dragged you in here.”
“Yeah. Why is that, by the way? You were just about to kill me before I trapped you in a hellish cave dimension.” He considered his words. “Which would only be more reason to kill me.”
Willis shook his head and chuckled tiredly. “Call me an idealist, but I didn’t join a group called the Agency for the Preservation of Humanity to kill people. I’m not good at holding grudges.”
“Then why were you gonna kill me when we were still out there?”
“It’s different. I had orders. Now Talc isn’t here, so it’s my decision. The real question is how are you still alive even with my intervention?”
Talbot shrugged, which made him dizzy. “ I’m on my way out. That blood loss will kill me in a couple minutes, if that thing doesn’t find us first.”
Talbot glanced around the environment for the first time, and realized they were once again in one of the small side tubes. Loud bellowing filled the air as the thing presumably scoured its domain for the two men.
“Well, at least our sacrifice will save the rest of humanity.” Willis proclaimed.
Talbot chortled.
“What?” Willis responded.
“Didn’t you see the other guy get eaten?”
“What?! There was another guy?!”
“Yeah, it stole him from our world.”
“Goddammit Talbot, Talc said that would happen!”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Talbot said, in a tone that didn’t sound very sorry.
“At least it was just once. Talc has your notes, so he’ll keep it from happening again.”
Talbot almost guffawed.
“Goddammit, what am I doing that’s so funny?!”
“No, it’s not you. Well, it is you, a little, but it’s mostly the fact that I… may’ve doomed humanity anyway.”
Willis was silent, which Talbot regrettably took as a prompt to continue.
“Cause you see,” the scientist slurred, getting more light-headed by the second, “before I tried to ship off the notebook to Johnson, I ripped out the most important parts and sent ‘em to Vincent Anderson, my boss.”
Willis remained silent.
“So, you know. Hopefully someone publishes that in a journal somewhere so that people can actually remember me.”
Willis punched him in the face, hard.
Once he recovered, Talbot nodded. Blood ran from his nose. “I deserved that. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that learning how to break reality would allow a Great Old One to start eating people.”
Willis shook his head in disgust. “Talc told you not to. Do you really think your legacy is more important than the survival of our species?”
Talbot didn’t respond. Whether it was because he was speechless or dead was unclear, and didn’t really matter in any case.
Willis turned and limped away.
Two days after Willis and Talbot disappeared to the Fifth Dimension, Talc said goodbye to… himself and Willis-2, and used a Seal of Traversal to return to his native dimension. He reported to his boss that Willis was gone and would not be returning, before going to Talbot’s house and opening the door with the key they’d taken from the scientist.
Talc went into Talbot’s kitchen and fetched a can of tuna and a jar of mayonnaise. He mixed the two together and filled the pet bowl on the counter. Noting that there was some left, he made himself a tuna sandwich and sat next to the bowl.
It took Ozymandius a while to approach Talc, and even longer to warm up to him. However, the cat was curled up against the delicate man, purring like an engine, by the time the sunset rolled around and they both watched it out the large windows at the back of Talbot’s house.
Talc’s phone rang.
“Yello?” Talc said to the unknown caller.
“Hey.”
Talc immediately tensed. The voice was, undeniably, Talbot’s.
“What is this?!? Where are you?!?”
When the Talcs and Willis had reviewed the CCTV footage, they’d realized exactly where Talbot and Willis had ended up, and had naturally concluded that they were dead.
“I honestly don’t know. I was just in the Fifth Dimension with Willis, but now I’m unsure. It’s dark, and my legs don’t hurt anymore.”
“What does that mean?! Are you still alive?! Is Willis still alive?!”
“I don’t think so. I think I’m dying. Already dead?”
“Then how are you talking to me? Are there phones in the fifth dimension?”
“Nah, I can just hear you. My hypotheses are that this is either a feverish hallucination in my dying moments, or that the Fifth Dimension can somehow…” Talbot’s speech sank into bleary muttering, and was unintelligible for several words. “...subsurface conduit.”
“Talbot, you’re delirious. That makes no sense.”
“Good, so it’s the other hypothesis. Just cause I know you won’t actually hear this, take care of my cat.”
Talc moved to speak, but Talbot continued.
“Oh also,” He added, almost as an afterthought, “I sent my notebook to Anderson, so watch out with that.”
“Wait what, excuse me?!”
The line went dead.
Talc heard a thunderous snapping sound. He whirled around to face the window, pressing his face against the glass and staring up at the sky.
A horrific ripping sound filled the air as the very fabric of the Fourth Dimension was rent apart, the sky above Talc yawning wide. The thing’s tendrils emerged from the rift in the atmosphere and descended towards the ground, each one darting around erratically as though tasting the air.
Talc did not know what Talbot, or Anderson, or whoever had done, but he knew that they had forever changed the world around them, and doomed a large portion of the human race.
You haven’t just opened Pandora’s box, you fool, Talc thought bitterly of the foolish chemist, You’ve blasted it apart with plastic explosives.
Talc returned to the couch and cradled Ozymandius. There was little to be done now.
Talc felt almost relieved that his decades-long vigil could finally come to an end.
The Cracks in the world had finally become holes, and through those holes came a flood.
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2023.05.29 12:57 maximusaemilius Two aliens visit a very old forest on earth.

"My family has lived in these mountains for more than three thousand years."
"How can you be sure of that?”
"Because we have records going back two thousand years and then records of my family's tribe before that. For that reason, no one knows these mountains better than I do, and even then, I still don't know everything there is to know. Every time I go out in the woods, I feel something new."
Krill glanced over at Sunny.
If he could raise an eyebrow he would have.
Of all the places they could go on their weekend, and she had decided to go on a guided hike. This would be just like something Adam would do.
He thought of all the people he wouldn't have to remind Sunny how dangerous Earth forests were with their trees, and animals, and poisonous plants, and, well, pretty much everything.
"Don't give me that look, Krill. You know if Adam was here, he would take us out to do the same thing, and you needed to quit moping anyway. He's going to be back soon."
Krill crossed his arms emphatically,
"I am not moping."
"You are too moping, and it's honestly kind of pathetic. You get all cranky when Adam isn't around."
”Fuck you!”
”Why are you so aggressive? Don’t worry, Adam will be fine! Why do you worry so much?”
"That's because I worry about his health and safety."
"He's a grown man."
"He's a man child."
”Awww is momma Krill missing his little Adam?”
”Fuck you too… Also you know I’m right about that.”
”I didn’t say you weren’t.”
Krill sighed and turned back to look at their guide who was staring on in mild amusement.
This human had dark tan skin, deep brown eyes and long dark hair pulled back from his face. He wore a green ranger's uniform, but she knew for a fact he was off duty,
"We're ready."
He smiled, and motioned them to follow him.
Krill held onto Sunny's shoulder as they followed the human into the woods.
"Aren't we going to take a trail?"
"You don't need a trail when you have me."
"I definitely think a trail would-…"
"Is your mind ever still my alien friend?"
Sunny shook her head,
"No, never, not even a little bit."
"Well try. I can't show you anything if you don't also listen."
"Now that just makes no sense!”
Sunny huffed and the ranger sighed,
"There is more in these woods to hear, that there is to see. The wind leaves the animals."
They passed over soggy earth and into a meadow filled with bright wildflowers. Krill was about to ask another question, but the ranger held up a hand despite not looking at him,
"Shhh, just listen, to the silence."
Krill turned to glower at Sunny, and she smirked at him, but he angrily did as told, focusing away from his eyes and towards his ears. He could hear the wind in the trees, the distant chirp of birds, rustling in the underbrush, their feet as it moved over packed earth.
In the silence there was also a strange rushing. A sort of white noise that you expect to find at the ocean but comes from deep within the mountains.
He watched their new human friend from the corner of his eye as it led them deeper into the mountains. For all Krill knew this creature could be more interested in killing them and eating them.
How did Sunny even know him?
With his usual paranoia, Krill continued to watch as the green clad human lead them through patches of shadow, over rocks and through little mountain gullies. He used no trail, but it seemed as if all of his senses were alive, following something into the forest. He used his hands to trace over rough packed dirt. He scanned his eyes through the underbrush and lifted his head eyes closed allowing little gusts of air to sweep hair about his face.
He listened, and occasionally, Krill thought he saw the human smelling at the air.
And as they went, they were led deeper and deeper into the forest, Krill had to admit that there was something peaceful about it, almost surreal, like being removed from one's own head and being surrounded by the quiet.
A couple of times, he thought he saw the human smiling over his shoulder at him.
They had made it a good hour or two into the woods when they broke into a nearby clearing. Sunny was about to step out with him, but right at the edge of the treeline, she was stopped by the human, who had pulled back into the shadows.
Sunny blinked and looked around.
Krill did as well.
The ranger shook his head.
Krill looked over Sunny's shoulder, but in the clearing, he saw nothing, nothing except for a strangely geometric circle of wildflowers, in the middle of which there was nothing but a barren patch of dirt.
That was strange, there seemed to be nothing growing inside that circle.
"We go around."
The man muttered.
"Why?"
"Because, we don't want to trespass."
"Trespass on what exactly?"
Krill found himself whispering.
"Well, the fey, of course!"
The human smiled at him, and he wasn't entirely sure if the creature was pulling his leg or not.
"What are the fey?"
The human smiled again, slowly motioning him to follow as he led them around the open circle,
"The fey or fairies, are a group of mystical creatures known to make mischief. Most of the time if you trespass on their land, you forfeit your rights as human, and the laws of the fey world become absolute. If you take anything from a fey, you are immediately required to stay with them for the rest of eternity. There are many rules governing the world of the fey, so it is best just to avoid them."
Krill snorted,
"Ah yes... fairies."
"You laugh, but through all these years as a ranger, I have seen things I cannot explain."
"Like what."
"Like the time someone went missing in the forest. He was lost on a relatively well traveled hiking trail. We didn't find him for over six months. The search party was called off after those first few weeks. Six months later I am hiking in an unrelated part of the forest forty miles away in the other side of a mountain, and I find this man's decomposing corpse hanging from a forty-foot tall tree, with impact wounds that looked like he had been dropped from a great height. There were no cliffs in the area, and it appeared as if the man had died one month earlier."
Krill frowned. The math on that didn't particularly add up.
"Then a year ago we went looking for a missing child. His parents turned around for five seconds and when they turned back, he was gone. I found his body forty feet up a sheer cliff-face, stuffed into a crevice five months later. He had been dead only two hours, and was wearing the same clothes he had been lost in."
Sunny's eyes widened and Krill snorted.
He was expected to believe that?
The ranger waved at him.
"Say what you will, but the forest is a dangerous and unusual place if you don't know how to respect her."
"Would you say you are superstitious then?"
"Very. Look, I can't explain everything in the world, and I have no desire to do so. I see no harm in giving things the respect they deserve even if, later, it turns out I was wrong."
The human was not particularly kidding about him being superstitious. More than a few times, he leads them around strange objects or formations. There was at one point, a time when they were heading towards another low gully in the middle of the woods, and all of a sudden, their entire party grew very uneasy.
The woods seemed darker to Krill than they had before.
But he shook it off.
Sunny seemed to be behaving similarly.
But the ranger, he looked downright terrified, grabbed the two of them by the arm and pulled them away quick time, setting them to a low jog in the opposite direction.
Sunny and Krill stared at him in confusion not entirely sure what to make of it.
"What was that all about?”
The human just shook his head.
"We were not welcome!"
"From what!?”
"Does it matter? When you are not welcome somewhere, you do not question it."
"What are you worried about, angering the wendigo?"
It was at that moment that Krill was pretty sure he had made a huge mistake, as the human maniacally sprinted at him like a madman, grabbed him and had a hand pressed over his mouth in under a millisecond flat. Even Sunny looked shocked.
"We do NOT joke about those kind of things here!!!"
He let Krill go, and Krill stared on in confusion and mild terror.
"I come from a line of people who believe you can attract things to you based off the kind of energy you put off. Now I don't know if it's true or not, but joking about something's existence is bound to piss it off enough to test its patience don’t you think?"
He took a deep breath and adjusted his shirt,
”Now there are a few other things it could have been. It could have been the den of a mountain lion, or a bear. It could have been a subliminal sense of danger, an incorrect smell, or the way the rocks looked. Or it could simply have been us all getting paranoid at once, but whatever it is, I would rather be safe than sorry. Now come on, let's take you back. After your little stunt there with name-naming we better don’t risk anything…"
Krill stayed quiet and tried not to joke more about the supernatural things., despite finding it funny and not really believing a word the man said.
Apparently, humans tended to take that sort of thing seriously.
Krill did not, all that supernatural stuff was definitely absolute bullshit.
They heard more stories form the strange ranger, about finding people in places they shouldn't be, staircases in strange places, the sudden loss of time.
"There was one point, when I was doing some training out in the field. We were on top of a mountain, and I went off to go to the bathroom. It was so weird, after I was finished, it was like time seemed to slow down. I got starving, and I was looking around in the forest thinking I might be able to find something to eat. I was so hungry. It was all I could think about, and then suddenly I see one of the other rangers, sort of snaps me out of how hungry I was."
He shrugged,
"I raise my hand to him and this guy looks terrified, he runs up to me, and he's going off about where was I and what was I doing, what is going on we have been looking for you. Of course, I am super confused and as what he's on about, and this guy looks at me, and he's all like: dude you have been missing for three days."
Krill and Sunny stared at him.
"I know, strange isn't it? To me it almost seemed like hours. But it was three days and almost twenty miles over to the next mountain ridge. I don't remember any of it."
"Sounds like a dissociative fugue."
"Maybe, whatever I was it was strange."
Behind them, the sun was just beginning to fall and the undergrowth was heading towards a deep black.
They could see the parking lot just ahead of them, and it was at that moment, a blood curling shriek echoed up from the trees at their back.
Sunny leaped nearly a foot.
Krill squealed.
The ranger jumped.
The scream came again.
It sounded like a woman's voice in absolute gut-wrenching agony. Like she was being eviscerated from the inside moving out.
The ranger turned back towards the trees his chin down his eyes up,
"Get slowly back to the car, but don't run."
"Don't run? Don't run!?"
"Yes don't run. It's a mountain lion."
He stared hard into the trees,
"It is a mountain lion and if you run it will have no other choice than to chase you. They don't like to attack from the front and running will trigger her hunting instincts. Walk backwards towards the car very slowly and do not take your eyes off the treeline."
Off to his side, Krill heard a sharp metallic snik and watched as Sunny's spear suddenly appeared in hand.
Of course, she wasn't worried.
But together they backed towards the truck and got in.
As their headlights turned on, the high beams broke over a body hunched up against the treeline.
Sunny cursed in Drev.
The ranger nodded,
"See? Mountain lion."
Krill stared in paralyzed horror at the massive cat, as it stalked back into the trees.
"Going to have to call that in. She is way too close to the trails for comfort, someone is going to get hurt. Hmm weird behavior from her…"
As they were driving away, Krill looked back towards the woods, where the mountain lion had gone to.
Glancing over the scenery, he couldn’t see it anymore, only a shadowy shape of a person was standing there…


Wait a second…
WHAT!?
He did a double take as he thought he saw a tall willowy figure with antlers, standing at the edge of the treeline in almost the same spot as the mountain lion, angrily staring at him with glittering red eyes.
Woah what?
When he looked again it was gone.
He sat back in his seat, eyes straight forward.
He had a greater appreciation for the woods now because, for some reason, on Earth nature is connected to something strange and unexplainable, and whatever it is Krill was not interested in finding out.
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2023.05.29 12:54 mysticmage10 NDE & Religious Similarities

The ffg verses resonate well with these phenomena found in nde reports. I dont endorse the blind following of nde reports as fact or blind following of any scripture as fact.
Death analogy as slipping off tight shoes or clothes found in some nde accounts
As a person sheds worn-out garments and wears new ones, likewise, at the time of death, the soul casts off its worn-out body and enters a new one Bhagwad Gita 2:22
Self judged Life review
And it will be said,˺ “Read your record. You ˹alone˺ are sufficient this Day to take account of yourself Quran 17:14
So, whoever does an atom's weight of good shall see it and whoever does an atom's weight of evil shall see it Quran 99:8-9
I experienced a very vivid life recall. … It was both painful and exquisitely beautiful. It was like viewing a film, filled with precise detail. Every single thought, word, deed, decision, and action was brought forth and re-experienced and re-examined. It was self-evaluation, with total transparency and honesty. Throughout, I was never judged by any of these divine beings. They simply held me in [l]ove, with complete compassion and acceptance. … In this review, I realized that I was every single person I’d ever encountered or thought of. As I merged with and became them, I felt exactly what they experienced as a result of my loving or unloving thoughts and actions. I saw it all from their point of view, not only how my actions affected them, but then through them [how that] affected others they encountered, as the effects kept on going. … I saw that the love we express ripples out, creating an everlasting beauty that is often unbeknownst to us at the time. … It felt as if we are living inside a grand game, which is perfectly designed to always give us another opportunity to get it right this time. … I saw that everything we do makes a difference. The impact we have on one another is profound. … In this process of ruthlessly honest self-reflection, nothing went unnoticed. Nothing was able to be hidden. Nothing. Not one single thing. This life review was like going through everything with a fine-tooth comb, looking under every rock, leaving no stone unturned, seeing into each crevice with a [d]ivine [l]ight that revealed every hidden place. And through the entire process, it was all looked at and discerned through the lens of [l]ove NDE 1
I had a life review where I saw ever single event from my life. I saw every act of goodness and kindness. I saw every act of spite or ill-will. I also got to see it from the other person's point of view. Although time did not exist, this life review took forever but in reality it was only a blink of a second NDE 2
Divine love or bright light
who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever 1 Timothy 6:16
God has promised the believers, both men and women, Gardens through which rivers flow, therein to abide, and blessed dwellings in Gardens of perpetual bliss; and greater than that is Gods pleasure with them. That indeed is the supreme triumph quran 9:72
God is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, The lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star, Lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, Neither of the east nor of the west, Whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light.God guides to His light whom He wills Quran 24:35
Those who believe and do righteous deeds, the Most Merciful will bestow on them love Quran 19:96
He is the source of light in all luminaries, and is entirely beyond the darkness of ignorance. He is knowledge, the object of knowledge, and the goal of knowledge. He dwells within the hearts of all living beings Bhagwad Gita 13:18
Anybody who’s ever gone into the light comes back to talk about this … unconditional love and bliss that they experienced in the light. … Most people when they describe it, they say it’s the most incredible … loving experience, they feel full of love and what I experienced, it was kind of like, it was almost as if I had turned into champagne, and I was bubbling. You know like my molecules were bubbling and love was going through my molecules and then coming back out from them. And when people describe that, they say it’s the most incredible thing in the world. Well it is, but, it gets better. … Merging into the source was the most intense experience I had ever had. And that is one of the attributes of unconditional love, its intensity. The emotions that we have when we’re out of these bodies are far more intense than everything we ever experience in the body. The bodies really filter out a lot of emotions that we’re capable of. … Have you ever been moved to tears by something? Like maybe by love, or beauty, or gratitude? Or just had that feeling where you were just so moved that you literally cried? You know how strong and vibrant that is, and how cleansing and all-consuming it can be? The unconditional love that we feel in the afterlife is like a hundred or a thousand times more intense than that. Take that feeling and take away the tears and substitute joy, and so make it a joyous love … that you’re feeling[.] … And that will give you a tiny little taste of what unconditional love feels like NDE 3
And a lot of experiencers talk about love, about this being a place of love, and I’ve tried to think of adjectives to describe this, the intensity of this love, you know. Unconditional, pure, powerful. The only one that I can think of that works is infinite. It was infinite. … It was infinite love. If you can imagine your baby that you love, imagine like the most intense feeling of love you’ve ever had, your mother, or your dog, whatever, whatever it is, imagine that … infinite! No end. So powerful and so absorbing. Wave after wave after wave of cleansing white love washing over me, and I became, I was the light. It was so beautiful, it was so beautiful NDE 4
So I went into the light, and as I was moving up into the light, I just started to feel so good. You know like I can’t, words can’t explain it. Like the higher that I went into the light, and the more that I moved up and further away from Earth, the better I felt. And the feeling of pleasure does not really apply to this Earth, like nothing can compare. Like if you took everything that you were in favor of, like maybe getting a massage, in a hot tub, your favorite music, your favorite food, your favorite drink, everything that you love, happening to you all at once, no matter what it is, all at once, it would not even closely compare to the pleasure that was just within that light. And as you moved further into, like further away from this Earth, the pleasure felt even better. So you just moved up it felt better and better, it was insane NDE 5
I saw the white light, which was, you know, the best experience I’ve ever had. Like, basically, all the love that ever was, and all the love that ever will be, forever, for all of eternity, literally being poured onto me like a waterfall. … I’m literally saying that’s what it was NDE 6
World as a dream/illusion/virtual reality
And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the true life, if only they knew Quran 29:64
Then Godwill ask them: "For how many years did you stay on earth?" (23:113) They will say: "We stayed for a day or part of a day. Ask of those who keep count of this." (23:114) He will say: "You stayed only for a while, if you only knew that. Quran 23:115
You understand on the other side that this part, life, is actually the dream, and you just wake up after. It’s no different than one dream you had last night, out of a lifetime of dreams. This life that you’re having right now is just one, it’s just a blip NDE 6
It’s like living in a two-dimensional black and white world here, … compared to multicolor, multi-sensory VR immersion there. … And so once you’ve been in that place, coming here, as beautiful as it is, and I live in an extraordinarily beautiful place on purpose, so that I can get as close to beauty as I possibly can, but even that it’s just, like, ‘Oh well, you know, that’s really pretty.’ But not the same as ultimate divine beauty. … [Even sunrises] were ugly for a while, … the first year was very difficult NDE 7
The minute that I kind of woke up on that hillside in heaven I knew that that was more real than any time I’ve ever spent here on Earth. … And I knew instantly that my time here was really but a dream. … It’s real to us when we’re in it, but once I was there … in heaven I realized that’s more real, that felt more real, and it made much more sense to me than anything here. This is kind of nonsensical at times. … In heaven, it’s so clear, so real, so rational, so logical, but yet emotional and loving at the same time. Immediately I knew that was real and this was not. Immediately NDE8
I mean, looking back at human life from that vantage point I could not believe that I had ever thought this was real. And so the same sense of unreality that we get about dreams while we’re here in human form, I had while I was there about human life. So there is no doubt in my mind that it was real, and that’s true reality. This is a virtual reality game, a role, a play, a dream, an illusion, a character that I’m playing NDE 9
The physical [world] resembled a black and white movie in comparison with the world in front of me[.] … That’s what it felt like, waking up from a dream, waking up to who I truly am and this life was nothing but a dream NDE 10
Altered States of Super Consciousness
Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him 1 Corinthians 2:9
No soul can imagine what delights are kept in store for them as a reward for what they used to do Quran 32:17
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it Matthew 13:45
Now, what heaven looks like? ‘O m g’ doesn’t even describe how beautiful this place is. Heaven is, there are no words. I mean, I could sit here … and just not say anything and just cry, and that would be what heaven looks like. … There are mountains of beauty, there are things in this realm, you can’t even describe how beautiful this place is. There are colors you can’t even imagine, there are sounds you can’t even create. There are beauties upon this world that you think are beautiful here. Amplify it over there times a billion. There are, it’s incredibly beautiful, there’s no words to describe how beautiful this place is, it’s incredibly gorgeous NDE 11
Humans choosing to incarnate on earth Surprisingly I expected to find something like this in Hinduism and buddhism but haven't found anything except this from the quran.
Indeed, We offered the trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they ˹all˺ declined to bear it, being fearful of it. But humanity assumed it, ˹for˺ they are truly wrongful ˹to themselves˺ and ignorant ˹of the consequences quran 33:72
And in that moment I remembered that my soul chose to come to Earth, I remembered where I was before I was born, I remembered that all of our souls choose to come here, that this is a wonderful university, that we’re not here by random accident, we’re not here as victims, that we come here to choose to study, to learn, and to grow. And that on some level this is like a wonderful theater, it’s like a big university, we all play our part, and when our time to go comes, we leave NDE 12
These three pure Beings spoke to me in a different language. They used my thoughts but it was different than thoughts. They reminded me that I had chosen to be incarnate on Earth and that I had to go back. I already knew that by being by their side, everything was coming back to me. They gave me so much love. I was at home and I badly wanted to stay. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to go back. That’s how it had to be. I remember laughing a lot with them. They understood me. They knew the difficulty of an incarnation, as well as I knew it before I incarnated on Earth NDE 13
Cosmos & Vegetation being alive/sentient
The heavens keep telling the wonders of God, and the skies declare what he has done. Each day informs the following day; each night announces to the next. They don't speak a word, and there is never the sound of a voice. Yet their message reaches all the earth, and it travels around the world Psalm 19:1-4
The heavens praise your wonders, LORD, your faithfulness too, in the assembly of the holy ones Psalm 89:5
And there is not a single thing but glorifies Him with His praise, but you do not understand their glorification Quran 17:44
Then He turned to the heaven while it was all smoke. He said to the heaven and the earth: “Come into being willingly or unwillingly.” They said: we come into being willingly Quran 41:11
I look down and I see myself standing in a very gentle river, and all around me is a very beautiful, very peaceful forest. And this is where it gets hard to describe because it was a rush of all, it was everything wrapped into one. … And feeling immense awe and bliss and love and relief. … And there was no other being in my NDE, it was just me, but I didn’t feel at all alone. It was the least alone I’ve ever been in my life. It was like the place itself was alive, and it was telling me things and it was loving me NDE 14
I was taken by the hand and led into another realm. It resembled [E]arth because there were trees, sparkling sand, and aquamarine water. There were fruit-laden trees, lush foliage, and vibrantly colored birds. Everything was alive – each flower and every glistening grain of sand. Floral fragrances filled the air NDE 15
I was shown non-intelligent species. I was shown splendors of every kind, like waterfalls and being taken into the heart of a burning flame. I skimmed the surface of a sun, playing in the shifting energy and heard its jubilant joy at giving life to so many wonderful things. It was the most joyful, beautiful, wonderful, amazing experience anyone could possibly have. The size, the scope of it cannot be expressed. I met with incredible, spiritual beings like my attendant, friend, and my guide. They all were filled with contentment and joy NDE 16
The breeze blew against the tall golden wheat stalks, and as it did I could feel the spirit of all things living around me: animals, plants, the elements. I was one with them. I looked up and saw a huge ball of light that cast the purest, warm light all around me and felt God touch my skin NDE 17
Pluralism/Multiple Pathways to Divine
Whatever purpose is served by a small well of water is naturally served in all respects by a large lake. Similarly, one who realizes the Absolute Truth also fulfills the purpose of all the Vedas Bhagwad Gita 2:46
We have revealed to you this Book with the truth, as a confirmation of previous Scriptures and a supreme authority on them. So judge between them by what God has revealed, and do not follow their desires over the truth that has come to you. To each of you We have ordained a code of law and a way of life. If God had willed, He would have made you one community, but His Will is to test you with what He has given ˹each of˺ you. So compete with one another in doing good. To God you will all return, then He will inform you ˹of the truth˺ regarding your differences Quran 5:48
Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven Matthew 7:21
I asked about religion and the vastness of it all. The only answer I could recall afterwards was the word "dogma." This word stood for the concept that the truth was muddled by man's feelings. Although coming from our good intentions, it was inhibiting others from spiritually growing NDE 18
Interconnectedness with Higher Power & Creation
The embodied souls in this material world are My eternal fragmental parts. But bound by material nature, they are struggling with the six senses including the mind Bhagwad Gita 15:7
When I have completed shaping him and have breathed into him of My Spirit Quran 15:29
He exists outside and inside all living beings, those that are moving and not moving. He is subtle, and hence, He is incomprehensible. He is very far, but He is also very near Bhagwad Gita 13:16
The UNIVERSE in expression, and the Universe was within me, I was shown this, I KNEW this intimately. I was shown through energy that I was ONE with ALL THAT IS, ALL THAT EVER WAS and ALL THAT WILL EVER BE. ALL THAT EXISTED was within me. I was shown this and experienced this within every fiber of my Being. EVERYTHING WAS CONNECTED. I WAS EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE; omnipresent, omniscense! I KNEW in this place of ONENESS that I was connected to everyone and everything. There absolutely was no seperation NDE Anna
submitted by mysticmage10 to progressive_islam [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 12:51 maximusaemilius Empyrean Iris: 2-8: Becoming of age (by Charlie Star)

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
As a small interlude, here have ONE chapter of what Krill and Sunny where up to when Adam was gone.
Note to self: write more stories what they did in the months Adam was gone later.
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
"My family has lived in these mountains for more than three thousand years."
"How can you be sure of that?”
"Because we have records going back two thousand years and then records of my family's tribe before that. For that reason, no one knows these mountains better than I do, and even then, I still don't know everything there is to know. Every time I go out in the woods, I feel something new."
Krill glanced over at Sunny.
If he could raise an eyebrow he would have.
Of all the places they could go on their weekend, and she had decided to go on a guided hike. This would be just like something Adam would do.
He thought of all the people he wouldn't have to remind Sunny how dangerous Earth forests were with their trees, and animals, and poisonous plants, and, well, pretty much everything.
"Don't give me that look, Krill. You know if Adam was here, he would take us out to do the same thing, and you needed to quit moping anyway. He's going to be back soon."
Krill crossed his arms emphatically,
"I am not moping."
"You are too moping, and it's honestly kind of pathetic. You get all cranky when Adam isn't around."
”Fuck you!”
”Why are you so aggressive? Don’t worry, Adam will be fine! Why do you worry so much?”
"That's because I worry about his health and safety."
"He's a grown man."
"He's a man child."
”Awww is momma Krill missing his little Adam?”
”Fuck you too… Also you know I’m right about that.”
”I didn’t say you weren’t.”
Krill sighed and turned back to look at their guide who was staring on in mild amusement.
This human had dark tan skin, deep brown eyes and long dark hair pulled back from his face. He wore a green ranger's uniform, but she knew for a fact he was off duty,
"We're ready."
He smiled, and motioned them to follow him.
Krill held onto Sunny's shoulder as they followed the human into the woods.
"Aren't we going to take a trail?"
"You don't need a trail when you have me."
"I definitely think a trail would-…"
"Is your mind ever still my alien friend?"
Sunny shook her head,
"No, never, not even a little bit."
"Well try. I can't show you anything if you don't also listen."
"Now that just makes no sense!”
Sunny huffed and the ranger sighed,
"There is more in these woods to hear, that there is to see. The wind leaves the animals."
They passed over soggy earth and into a meadow filled with bright wildflowers. Krill was about to ask another question, but the ranger held up a hand despite not looking at him,
"Shhh, just listen, to the silence."
Krill turned to glower at Sunny, and she smirked at him, but he angrily did as told, focusing away from his eyes and towards his ears. He could hear the wind in the trees, the distant chirp of birds, rustling in the underbrush, their feet as it moved over packed earth.
In the silence there was also a strange rushing. A sort of white noise that you expect to find at the ocean but comes from deep within the mountains.
He watched their new human friend from the corner of his eye as it led them deeper into the mountains. For all Krill knew this creature could be more interested in killing them and eating them.
How did Sunny even know him?
With his usual paranoia, Krill continued to watch as the green clad human lead them through patches of shadow, over rocks and through little mountain gullies. He used no trail, but it seemed as if all of his senses were alive, following something into the forest. He used his hands to trace over rough packed dirt. He scanned his eyes through the underbrush and lifted his head eyes closed allowing little gusts of air to sweep hair about his face.
He listened, and occasionally, Krill thought he saw the human smelling at the air.
And as they went, they were led deeper and deeper into the forest, Krill had to admit that there was something peaceful about it, almost surreal, like being removed from one's own head and being surrounded by the quiet.
A couple of times, he thought he saw the human smiling over his shoulder at him.
They had made it a good hour or two into the woods when they broke into a nearby clearing. Sunny was about to step out with him, but right at the edge of the treeline, she was stopped by the human, who had pulled back into the shadows.
Sunny blinked and looked around.
Krill did as well.
The ranger shook his head.
Krill looked over Sunny's shoulder, but in the clearing, he saw nothing, nothing except for a strangely geometric circle of wildflowers, in the middle of which there was nothing but a barren patch of dirt.
That was strange, there seemed to be nothing growing inside that circle.
"We go around."
The man muttered.
"Why?"
"Because, we don't want to trespass."
"Trespass on what exactly?"
Krill found himself whispering.
"Well, the fey, of course!"
The human smiled at him, and he wasn't entirely sure if the creature was pulling his leg or not.
"What are the fey?"
The human smiled again, slowly motioning him to follow as he led them around the open circle,
"The fey or fairies, are a group of mystical creatures known to make mischief. Most of the time if you trespass on their land, you forfeit your rights as human, and the laws of the fey world become absolute. If you take anything from a fey, you are immediately required to stay with them for the rest of eternity. There are many rules governing the world of the fey, so it is best just to avoid them."
Krill snorted,
"Ah yes... fairies."
"You laugh, but through all these years as a ranger, I have seen things I cannot explain."
"Like what."
"Like the time someone went missing in the forest. He was lost on a relatively well traveled hiking trail. We didn't find him for over six months. The search party was called off after those first few weeks. Six months later I am hiking in an unrelated part of the forest forty miles away in the other side of a mountain, and I find this man's decomposing corpse hanging from a forty-foot tall tree, with impact wounds that looked like he had been dropped from a great height. There were no cliffs in the area, and it appeared as if the man had died one month earlier."
Krill frowned. The math on that didn't particularly add up.
"Then a year ago we went looking for a missing child. His parents turned around for five seconds and when they turned back, he was gone. I found his body forty feet up a sheer cliff-face, stuffed into a crevice five months later. He had been dead only two hours, and was wearing the same clothes he had been lost in."
Sunny's eyes widened and Krill snorted.
He was expected to believe that?
The ranger waved at him.
"Say what you will, but the forest is a dangerous and unusual place if you don't know how to respect her."
"Would you say you are superstitious then?"
"Very. Look, I can't explain everything in the world, and I have no desire to do so. I see no harm in giving things the respect they deserve even if, later, it turns out I was wrong."
The human was not particularly kidding about him being superstitious. More than a few times, he leads them around strange objects or formations. There was at one point, a time when they were heading towards another low gully in the middle of the woods, and all of a sudden, their entire party grew very uneasy.
The woods seemed darker to Krill than they had before.
But he shook it off.
Sunny seemed to be behaving similarly.
But the ranger, he looked downright terrified, grabbed the two of them by the arm and pulled them away quick time, setting them to a low jog in the opposite direction.
Sunny and Krill stared at him in confusion not entirely sure what to make of it.
"What was that all about?”
The human just shook his head.
"We were not welcome!"
"From what!?”
"Does it matter? When you are not welcome somewhere, you do not question it."
"What are you worried about, angering the wendigo?"
It was at that moment that Krill was pretty sure he had made a huge mistake, as the human maniacally sprinted at him like a madman, grabbed him and had a hand pressed over his mouth in under a millisecond flat. Even Sunny looked shocked.
"We do NOT joke about those kind of things here!!!"
He let Krill go, and Krill stared on in confusion and mild terror.
"I come from a line of people who believe you can attract things to you based off the kind of energy you put off. Now I don't know if it's true or not, but joking about something's existence is bound to piss it off enough to test its patience don’t you think?"
He took a deep breath and adjusted his shirt,
”Now there are a few other things it could have been. It could have been the den of a mountain lion, or a bear. It could have been a subliminal sense of danger, an incorrect smell, or the way the rocks looked. Or it could simply have been us all getting paranoid at once, but whatever it is, I would rather be safe than sorry. Now come on, let's take you back. After your little stunt there with name-naming we better don’t risk anything…"
Krill stayed quiet and tried not to joke more about the supernatural things., despite finding it funny and not really believing a word the man said.
Apparently, humans tended to take that sort of thing seriously.
Krill did not, all that supernatural stuff was definitely absolute bullshit.
They heard more stories form the strange ranger, about finding people in places they shouldn't be, staircases in strange places, the sudden loss of time.
"There was one point, when I was doing some training out in the field. We were on top of a mountain, and I went off to go to the bathroom. It was so weird, after I was finished, it was like time seemed to slow down. I got starving, and I was looking around in the forest thinking I might be able to find something to eat. I was so hungry. It was all I could think about, and then suddenly I see one of the other rangers, sort of snaps me out of how hungry I was."
He shrugged,
"I raise my hand to him and this guy looks terrified, he runs up to me, and he's going off about where was I and what was I doing, what is going on we have been looking for you. Of course, I am super confused and as what he's on about, and this guy looks at me, and he's all like: dude you have been missing for three days."
Krill and Sunny stared at him.
"I know, strange isn't it? To me it almost seemed like hours. But it was three days and almost twenty miles over to the next mountain ridge. I don't remember any of it."
"Sounds like a dissociative fugue."
"Maybe, whatever I was it was strange."
Behind them, the sun was just beginning to fall and the undergrowth was heading towards a deep black.
They could see the parking lot just ahead of them, and it was at that moment, a blood curling shriek echoed up from the trees at their back.
Sunny leaped nearly a foot.
Krill squealed.
The ranger jumped.
The scream came again.
It sounded like a woman's voice in absolute gut-wrenching agony. Like she was being eviscerated from the inside moving out.
The ranger turned back towards the trees his chin down his eyes up,
"Get slowly back to the car, but don't run."
"Don't run? Don't run!?"
"Yes don't run. It's a mountain lion."
He stared hard into the trees,
"It is a mountain lion and if you run it will have no other choice than to chase you. They don't like to attack from the front and running will trigger her hunting instincts. Walk backwards towards the car very slowly and do not take your eyes off the treeline."
Off to his side, Krill heard a sharp metallic snik and watched as Sunny's spear suddenly appeared in hand.
Of course, she wasn't worried.
But together they backed towards the truck and got in.
As their headlights turned on, the high beams broke over a body hunched up against the treeline.
Sunny cursed in Drev.
The ranger nodded,
"See? Mountain lion."
Krill stared in paralyzed horror at the massive cat, as it stalked back into the trees.
"Going to have to call that in. She is way too close to the trails for comfort, someone is going to get hurt. Hmm weird behavior from her…"
As they were driving away, Krill looked back towards the woods, where the mountain lion had gone to.
Glancing over the scenery, he couldn’t see it anymore, only a shadowy shape of a person was standing there…


Wait a second…
WHAT!?
He did a double take as he thought he saw a tall willowy figure with antlers, standing at the edge of the treeline in almost the same spot as the mountain lion, angrily staring at him with glittering red eyes.
Woah what?
When he looked again it was gone.
He sat back in his seat, eyes straight forward.
He had a greater appreciation for the woods now because, for some reason, on Earth nature is connected to something strange and unexplainable, and whatever it is Krill was not interested in finding out.
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
submitted by maximusaemilius to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 12:38 smitty17 Sciatica suddently got severly worse (and my story)

This is going to be a lengthy post so props if you care to read. Been lingering here for awhile so may as well share my tale. I'm a 34 year old male. Average build. 5' 10' 180lbs. Fairly active. I work construction, mostly on the management side but occasionally deliver sheetrock, plywood and the likes. Most of my job is driving from job to job.. Also prior to all this, I went to a rock climbing gym twice a week. Far from being fit but I led an active lifestyle. But the day after a climbing session in late February, I experienced a bit of back pain. Nothing crippling, just noticeable. The next day I felt it more in my left cheek. Did some googling and found I likely had sciatica. Ignored it for a bit but it got to where every time I got out of my work car, it was agony. I went to to doctor. They gave me muscle relaxers and steroids and acted like it would likely sort itself out. Fast forward a couple weeks, no change so I went back to the doctor who just gave me another round of steroids. (which again did nothing) He said next step would be PT or MRI so I took it upon myself to find a reputable PT. I went there for 3 weeks and it got "better" but never went away. I also got used to just waking up every night between 1-2 to walk around and stretch. Mornings were painful but manageable. Well things continued to not really get better so I began setting up an MRI. Last week I also got a back brace and sciatica leg brace but couldn't tell if they were helping. Over the weekend I got together with my family and we played some outdoor volleyball. (Friday night). Slept normal Friday night. Saturday the pain felt normal until that night.. I could tell it was a bit more irritated than normal and went to bed figuring it may be a rough night and boy was I right. Woke up yesterday (Sunday) morning in excruciating pain. Took awhile to get out of bed. Nearly in tears and shaking I decided to go to the ER which really accomplished nothing except to get my MRI set up. They also gave me more steroids, lidocaine patches, hydrocodone and diazepam (muscle relaxer). Oh they did give me some morphine as well at the office which was pretty nice but just made me feel good for a little while. I'm not sure if it was the volleyball, one of the braces or what changed exactly to make it worse but here we are. So I'm posting here because that was yesterday. And last night (tonight?) I woke up at 2am and it took me 2 hours to get out of bed without screaming and I'm up, with nothing better to do so figured I would share my story. I think this is common but once I'm up, I can manage pretty well. Slight discomfort but I can do most anything without much trouble. Driving is about the only thing that bothers me. But I don't know if I ever want to go to sleep again after the last 2 nights. I should go back to bed now but I'd just rather be tired than face that again. So MRI should be happening this week hopefully. I just don't know how I'm going to get out of bed for the nights leading up to whenever that happens. I will admit I haven't been the best about home stretching and exercise. The PT gave me a routine and I've been doing some but not all of it. I've also been doing some core exercises as I've read those can help. So I definitely have myself to blame on some of this but still. Feel like I should be getting better and not worse. I've watched dozens of videos on what stretches and exercises work and tried some of them with mixed results. So I'm not even sure what I'm after here. Sympathy, advice, comfort. I just am up with nothing to do so wanted to share my situation. Thanks if you made it through all this
submitted by smitty17 to Sciatica [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 12:01 kylexyz001 23 [M4F] Ohio/Worldwide- Let's Be Each Other's Everything (Longest post ever?)

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.**(6)Expectations of You (Relationship Only):**I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!
submitted by kylexyz001 to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 11:46 asoundusername How do I get rid of this guilt?

Hi! I (19) have been experiencing continuous guilt following the unexpected death of a young teacher. Any advice on how to get rid of this guilt is greatly appreciated!
Here is some more information:
At my primary school there was a great PE teacher. I was never a big fan of sports or exercise haha, but she made it fun. I remember when I was graduating primary school, I was sad to leave but that changed when I found out that this teacher would be working in the secondary school too! She also taught hockey classes after school which I participated in for a few years despite my terrible hockey skills haha.
I only knew her for about 7 years, but in that time I saw a lot of cool moments in her life. I still remember how happy she was showing her engagement ring to my classmates and hearing about her wedding. She also rocked a variety of hairstyles over the years and she suited all of them!
Back at the start of 2020, I volunteered at my primary school for a week. When I entered the staff room, I saw that teacher but she just seemed kind of off, kind of down, which was a strange sight. Back then I was a dumb teenager who had some reason become bored of the occasionally monotonous nature of life. Very unusual for me, as I’m normally quite optimistic. This resulted in a low mood where nothing seemed exciting anymore, typical teenager stuff haha.
I remember she asked me a bunch of questions and told me she was pregnant. Thanks to the stupid mindset I was in, I don’t remember being as enthusiastic as I wanted to be. Additionally, as I got older, I became nervous to speak to her fearing I’d say something stupid, not that she would pick up on it, she was too kind for that haha. There was literally no reason for me to be nervous. During our conversation, she asked me about my singing lessons, a hobby which I have always loved especially throughout primary school and I was touched that she still remembered this. However, I still noticed that something slightly off with her.
In the past I used to get intrusive thoughts and that day was no exception. After our conversation, an awful thought appeared in my mind: What if she died? But it was good to have this thought, as it put me back in the moment and I had a great time helping her out with her PE classes. Afterwards, I obviously dismissed the thought due to how bizarre it was, since there are a million other reasons why someone could be feeling down. Following that week, I remember feeling bad about my lack of enthusiasm, but didn’t think much of it since I’d have another conversation with her in the future when I would be in a better mood. Or so I thought.
Little did I know that over a month later, that teacher was diagnosed with cancer.
Then came the Covid-19 lockdown, it wasn’t ideal but hey everyone’s in the same boat! (Now knowing the reality of the situation, turns out that was a lie. I still can’t believe that this teacher was sick the whole time in lockdown.) After lockdown when I got back to school, I obviously didn’t see her. Over the years, more teachers had joined the PE department, so she wasn’t needed as much in the secondary school. So I assumed the whole year that she was working in the primary school, not dying in hospital.
I didn’t find out until my mom told me what had happened a day after she died back in the summer of 2021. Not only that she had cancer but that she had died from it? That came completely out of nowhere and was definitely a shock. One good thing that came from Covid is that the recorded funeral was available online for anyone to watch. It was nice to learn more reasons to like her.
I wish I had known that she was sick. It’s so dumb but I had her school email. if I had known, I would have sent her a message. And I know the chances of her reading that are extremely low with what she was going though, but it would have been something. Just something instead of nothing.
Fortunately, the anger and sadness has subsided. This death has truly shown me how precious life really is. Yet the guilt is surrounding the conversations we had, not knowing they were the last, still remains. I took her for granted. I took it all for granted and I can never get it back. Looking back on it, it makes me so angry at myself: knowing what she could have been thinking health-wise but still having light conversations with me. And all she gets back is unenthusiastic responses? I hope I didn’t offend her. I was such an idiot.
It’s got to the point where any time I do a good deed, it just feels like I’m putting on a facade. This week I visited my primary school to drop off cards and gifts at reception for my old teachers to show my appreciation for them. Ever since that teacher died, it’s become very important that the remaining teachers know they are appreciated. I thought this would make me feel good, but it only brought up feelings of guilt, anger and sadness since I’ll never be able to thank this teacher and make sure she knows that she’s appreciated.
I know nothing good comes of ruminating about this. And I know she’s dead and I’ll never see her again. But for some reason this has stuck in my mind. I’ve thought about her everyday since she has died. Which is strange because I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. We weren’t close and I wasn’t sports-obsessed haha. It’s been nearly 2 years since she’s passed, I still don’t know why I’ve cared so much about this. Even if she had been alive when I graduated, we both would have gone our separate ways when I left the school. Obviously she wasn’t meant to be around forever, but I didn’t realise how soon she would go.
There are people you meet that you don’t get a lot of chances to speak to but you just hope that life is kind to them. She was one of them.
I feel like I’m so close to putting this out of my mind forever (I hope), but the guilt is still holding me back. Deep down, I still feel like a terrible person and I’m not sure what to do about it. But I do know that I have to get rid of this guilt. This is the last step to moving on, any advice on how to accomplish this is greatly appreciated.
submitted by asoundusername to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 11:44 asoundusername How do I get rid of this guilt?

Hi! I (19) have been experiencing continuous guilt following the unexpected death of a young teacher. Any advice on how to get rid of this guilt is greatly appreciated!
Here is some more information:
At my primary school there was a great PE teacher. I was never a big fan of sports or exercise haha, but she made it fun. I remember when I was graduating primary school, I was sad to leave but that changed when I found out that this teacher would be working in the secondary school too! She also taught hockey classes after school which I participated in for a few years despite my terrible hockey skills haha.
I only knew her for about 7 years, but in that time I saw a lot of cool moments in her life. I still remember how happy she was showing her engagement ring to my classmates and hearing about her wedding. She also rocked a variety of hairstyles over the years and she suited all of them!
Back at the start of 2020, I volunteered at my primary school for a week. When I entered the staff room, I saw that teacher but she just seemed kind of off, kind of down, which was a strange sight. Back then I was a dumb teenager who had some reason become bored of the occasionally monotonous nature of life. Very unusual for me, as I’m normally quite optimistic. This resulted in a low mood where nothing seemed exciting anymore, typical teenager stuff haha.
I remember she asked me a bunch of questions and told me she was pregnant. Thanks to the stupid mindset I was in, I don’t remember being as enthusiastic as I wanted to be. Additionally, as I got older, I became nervous to speak to her fearing I’d say something stupid, not that she would pick up on it, she was too kind for that haha. There was literally no reason for me to be nervous. During our conversation, she asked me about my singing lessons, a hobby which I have always loved especially throughout primary school and I was touched that she still remembered this. However, I still noticed that something slightly off with her.
In the past I used to get intrusive thoughts and that day was no exception. After our conversation, an awful thought appeared in my mind: What if she died? But it was good to have this thought, as it put me back in the moment and I had a great time helping her out with her PE classes. Afterwards, I obviously dismissed the thought due to how bizarre it was, since there are a million other reasons why someone could be feeling down. Following that week, I remember feeling bad about my lack of enthusiasm, but didn’t think much of it since I’d have another conversation with her in the future when I would be in a better mood. Or so I thought.
Little did I know that over a month later, that teacher was diagnosed with cancer.
Then came the Covid-19 lockdown, it wasn’t ideal but hey everyone’s in the same boat! (Now knowing the reality of the situation, turns out that was a lie. I still can’t believe that this teacher was sick the whole time in lockdown.) After lockdown when I got back to school, I obviously didn’t see her. Over the years, more teachers had joined the PE department, so she wasn’t needed as much in the secondary school. So I assumed the whole year that she was working in the primary school, not dying in hospital.
I didn’t find out until my mom told me what had happened a day after she died back in the summer of 2021. Not only that she had cancer but that she had died from it? That came completely out of nowhere and was definitely a shock. One good thing that came from Covid is that the recorded funeral was available online for anyone to watch. It was nice to learn more reasons to like her.
I wish I had known that she was sick. It’s so dumb but I had her school email. if I had known, I would have sent her a message. And I know the chances of her reading that are extremely low with what she was going though, but it would have been something. Just something instead of nothing.
Fortunately, the anger and sadness has subsided. This death has truly shown me how precious life really is. Yet the guilt is surrounding the conversations we had, not knowing they were the last, still remains. I took her for granted. I took it all for granted and I can never get it back. Looking back on it, it makes me so angry at myself: knowing what she could have been thinking health-wise but still having light conversations with me. And all she gets back is unenthusiastic responses? I hope I didn’t offend her. I was such an idiot.
It’s got to the point where any time I do a good deed, it just feels like I’m putting on a facade. This week I visited my primary school to drop off cards and gifts at reception for my old teachers to show my appreciation for them. Ever since that teacher died, it’s become very important that the remaining teachers know they are appreciated. I thought this would make me feel good, but it only brought up feelings of guilt, anger and sadness since I’ll never be able to thank this teacher and make sure she knows that she’s appreciated.
I know nothing good comes of ruminating about this. And I know she’s dead and I’ll never see her again. But for some reason this has stuck in my mind. I’ve thought about her everyday since she has died. Which is strange because I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. We weren’t close and I wasn’t sports-obsessed haha. It’s been nearly 2 years since she’s passed, I still don’t know why I’ve cared so much about this. Even if she had been alive when I graduated, we both would have gone our separate ways when I left the school. Obviously she wasn’t meant to be around forever, but I didn’t realise how soon she would go.
There are people you meet that you don’t get a lot of chances to speak to but you just hope that life is kind to them. She was one of them.
I feel like I’m so close to putting this out of my mind forever (I hope), but the guilt is still holding me back. Deep down, I still feel like a terrible person and I’m not sure what to do about it. But I do know that I have to get rid of this guilt. This is the last step to moving on, any advice on how to accomplish this is greatly appreciated.
submitted by asoundusername to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 11:43 asoundusername How do I get rid of this guilt?

Hi! I (19) have been experiencing continuous guilt following the unexpected death of a young teacher. Any advice on how to get rid of this guilt is greatly appreciated!
Here is some more information:
At my primary school there was a great PE teacher. I was never a big fan of sports or exercise haha, but she made it fun. I remember when I was graduating primary school, I was sad to leave but that changed when I found out that this teacher would be working in the secondary school too! She also taught hockey classes after school which I participated in for a few years despite my terrible hockey skills haha.
I only knew her for about 7 years, but in that time I saw a lot of cool moments in her life. I still remember how happy she was showing her engagement ring to my classmates and hearing about her wedding. She also rocked a variety of hairstyles over the years and she suited all of them!
Back at the start of 2020, I volunteered at my primary school for a week. When I entered the staff room, I saw that teacher but she just seemed kind of off, kind of down, which was a strange sight. Back then I was a dumb teenager who had some reason become bored of the occasionally monotonous nature of life. Very unusual for me, as I’m normally quite optimistic. This resulted in a low mood where nothing seemed exciting anymore, typical teenager stuff haha.
I remember she asked me a bunch of questions and told me she was pregnant. Thanks to the stupid mindset I was in, I don’t remember being as enthusiastic as I wanted to be. Additionally, as I got older, I became nervous to speak to her fearing I’d say something stupid, not that she would pick up on it, she was too kind for that haha. There was literally no reason for me to be nervous. During our conversation, she asked me about my singing lessons, a hobby which I have always loved especially throughout primary school and I was touched that she still remembered this. However, I still noticed that something slightly off with her.
In the past I used to get intrusive thoughts and that day was no exception. After our conversation, an awful thought appeared in my mind: What if she died? But it was good to have this thought, as it put me back in the moment and I had a great time helping her out with her PE classes. Afterwards, I obviously dismissed the thought due to how bizarre it was, since there are a million other reasons why someone could be feeling down. Following that week, I remember feeling bad about my lack of enthusiasm, but didn’t think much of it since I’d have another conversation with her in the future when I would be in a better mood. Or so I thought.
Little did I know that over a month later, that teacher was diagnosed with cancer.
Then came the Covid-19 lockdown, it wasn’t ideal but hey everyone’s in the same boat! (Now knowing the reality of the situation, turns out that was a lie. I still can’t believe that this teacher was sick the whole time in lockdown.) After lockdown when I got back to school, I obviously didn’t see her. Over the years, more teachers had joined the PE department, so she wasn’t needed as much in the secondary school. So I assumed the whole year that she was working in the primary school, not dying in hospital.
I didn’t find out until my mom told me what had happened a day after she died back in the summer of 2021. Not only that she had cancer but that she had died from it? That came completely out of nowhere and was definitely a shock. One good thing that came from Covid is that the recorded funeral was available online for anyone to watch. It was nice to learn more reasons to like her.
I wish I had known that she was sick. It’s so dumb but I had her school email. if I had known, I would have sent her a message. And I know the chances of her reading that are extremely low with what she was going though, but it would have been something. Just something instead of nothing.
Fortunately, the anger and sadness has subsided. This death has truly shown me how precious life really is. Yet the guilt is surrounding the conversations we had, not knowing they were the last, still remains. I took her for granted. I took it all for granted and I can never get it back. Looking back on it, it makes me so angry at myself: knowing what she could have been thinking health-wise but still having light conversations with me. And all she gets back is unenthusiastic responses? I hope I didn’t offend her. I was such an idiot.
It’s got to the point where any time I do a good deed, it just feels like I’m putting on a facade. This week I visited my primary school to drop off cards and gifts at reception for my old teachers to show my appreciation for them. Ever since that teacher died, it’s become very important that the remaining teachers know they are appreciated. I thought this would make me feel good, but it only brought up feelings of guilt, anger and sadness since I’ll never be able to thank this teacher and make sure she knows that she’s appreciated.
I know nothing good comes of ruminating about this. And I know she’s dead and I’ll never see her again. But for some reason this has stuck in my mind. I’ve thought about her everyday since she has died. Which is strange because I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. We weren’t close and I wasn’t sports-obsessed haha. It’s been nearly 2 years since she’s passed, I still don’t know why I’ve cared so much about this. Even if she had been alive when I graduated, we both would have gone our separate ways when I left the school. Obviously she wasn’t meant to be around forever, but I didn’t realise how soon she would go.
There are people you meet that you don’t get a lot of chances to speak to but you just hope that life is kind to them. She was one of them.
I feel like I’m so close to putting this out of my mind forever (I hope), but the guilt is still holding me back. Deep down, I still feel like a terrible person and I’m not sure what to do about it. But I do know that I have to get rid of this guilt. This is the last step to moving on, any advice on how to accomplish this is greatly appreciated.
submitted by asoundusername to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 11:36 asoundusername How do I get rid of this guilt?

Hi! I (19) have been experiencing continuous guilt following the unexpected death of a young teacher. Any advice on how to get rid of this guilt is greatly appreciated!
Here is some more information:
At my primary school there was a great PE teacher. I was never a big fan of sports or exercise haha, but she made it fun. I remember when I was graduating primary school, I was sad to leave but that changed when I found out that this teacher would be working in the secondary school too! She also taught hockey classes after school which I participated in for a few years despite my terrible hockey skills haha.
I only knew her for about 7 years, but in that time I saw a lot of cool moments in her life. I still remember how happy she was showing her engagement ring to my classmates and hearing about her wedding. She also rocked a variety of hairstyles over the years and she suited all of them!
Back at the start of 2020, I volunteered at my primary school for a week. When I entered the staff room, I saw that teacher but she just seemed kind of off, kind of down, which was a strange sight. Back then I was a dumb teenager who had some reason become bored of the occasionally monotonous nature of life. Very unusual for me, as I’m normally quite optimistic. This resulted in a low mood where nothing seemed exciting anymore, typical teenager stuff haha.
I remember she asked me a bunch of questions and told me she was pregnant. Thanks to the stupid mindset I was in, I don’t remember being as enthusiastic as I wanted to be. Additionally, as I got older, I became nervous to speak to her fearing I’d say something stupid, not that she would pick up on it, she was too kind for that haha. There was literally no reason for me to be nervous. During our conversation, she asked me about my singing lessons, a hobby which I have always loved especially throughout primary school and I was touched that she still remembered this. However, I still noticed that something slightly off with her.
In the past I used to get intrusive thoughts and that day was no exception. After our conversation, an awful thought appeared in my mind: What if she died? But it was good to have this thought, as it put me back in the moment and I had a great time helping her out with her PE classes. Afterwards, I obviously dismissed the thought due to how bizarre it was, since there are a million other reasons why someone could be feeling down. Following that week, I remember feeling bad about my lack of enthusiasm, but didn’t think much of it since I’d have another conversation with her in the future when I would be in a better mood. Or so I thought.
Little did I know that over a month later, that teacher was diagnosed with cancer.
Then came the Covid-19 lockdown, it wasn’t ideal but hey everyone’s in the same boat! (Now knowing the reality of the situation, turns out that was a lie. I still can’t believe that this teacher was sick the whole time in lockdown.) After lockdown when I got back to school, I obviously didn’t see her. Over the years, more teachers had joined the PE department, so she wasn’t needed as much in the secondary school. So I assumed the whole year that she was working in the primary school, not dying in hospital.
I didn’t find out until my mom told me what had happened a day after she died back in the summer of 2021. Not only that she had cancer but that she had died from it? That came completely out of nowhere and was definitely a shock. One good thing that came from Covid is that the recorded funeral was available online for anyone to watch. It was nice to learn more reasons to like her.
I wish I had known that she was sick. It’s so dumb but I had her school email. if I had known, I would have sent her a message. And I know the chances of her reading that are extremely low with what she was going though, but it would have been something. Just something instead of nothing.
Fortunately, the anger and sadness has subsided. This death has truly shown me how precious life really is. Yet the guilt is surrounding the conversations we had, not knowing they were the last, still remains. I took her for granted. I took it all for granted and I can never get it back. Looking back on it, it makes me so angry at myself: knowing what she could have been thinking health-wise but still having light conversations with me. And all she gets back is unenthusiastic responses? I hope I didn’t offend her. I was such an idiot.
It’s got to the point where any time I do a good deed, it just feels like I’m putting on a facade. This week I visited my primary school to drop off cards and gifts at reception for my old teachers to show my appreciation for them. Ever since that teacher died, it’s become very important that the remaining teachers know they are appreciated. I thought this would make me feel good, but it only brought up feelings of guilt, anger and sadness since I’ll never be able to thank this teacher and make sure she knows that she’s appreciated.
I know nothing good comes of ruminating about this. And I know she’s dead and I’ll never see her again. But for some reason this has stuck in my mind. I’ve thought about her everyday since she has died. Which is strange because I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. We weren’t close and I wasn’t sports-obsessed haha. It’s been nearly 2 years since she’s passed, I still don’t know why I’ve cared so much about this. Even if she had been alive when I graduated, we both would have gone our separate ways when I left the school. Obviously she wasn’t meant to be around forever, but I didn’t realise how soon she would go.
There are people you meet that you don’t get a lot of chances to speak to but you just hope that life is kind to them. She was one of them.
I feel like I’m so close to putting this out of my mind forever (I hope), but the guilt is still holding me back. Deep down, I still feel like a terrible person and I’m not sure what to do about it. But I do know that I have to get rid of this guilt. This is the last step to moving on, any advice on how to accomplish this is greatly appreciated.
submitted by asoundusername to self [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 11:13 ThatOneIvy Dead Systems (Chapter 1 Part 1)

We humans were sending out expeditions at sub-light speed even before the FTL ships were developed, we've been longing for the stars for centuries, since we came into sapience. Possibly even before that, given our history.
We had names for and knew of our neighboring stars, we knew what their planets looked like, if they could support life, if we could settle or perhaps terraform them. Our telescopes kept getting better, the sensors better, the images of these celestial bodies crisper and more defined.
But they were still just images, getting close enough to see what exactly was on the surface would require us actually being there, but unless we wanted to send out a generations long voyage for some better pictures, it wasn't going to happen. Not unless everyone was on the same page.
And that took centuries of fighting, over land, religion, resources, water, sometimes just because we could. One era to the next was punctuated by war, the fighting finally stopped, almost suddenly, like the machine just.... ran out of steam.
Our population was cut in half, from 7 billion to a little under 4 billion, what remained joined together into the first completely united Earth government. The United Earth Directorate.
There was a lot to do, the first edict of the democratic leaders was to clean up the war detritus, the slums, the garbage, the industrial wastelands. Entire nations worth of rubble to rebuild.
Despite the monumental effort, within 50 years the worst of it was cleaned up. Under a global leadership, care could be taken with each province, things began to look brighter, with joint scientific efforts thrusting us forward into clean power, faster engines, and finally, the discovery of the first hyperlane.
We were still far from being able to travel along the lane, but it's discovery gave us hope, something to strive for.
In another 20 years we completely rebuilt, our population reaching 6 billion and rising, construction teams were deployed equipped with chemical thrusters, slow, sub-light speeds that still barely breeched gravity, and yet... it's all we truly needed to get off planet.
The teams were assigned a single assignment, construct a shipyard in zero-g, close enough to Earth so that crews to get back and forth, but far enough away to construct ships in true anti-gravity. An endeavor that took far longer than initially anticipated. 10 years, plus an extra six months, and our very first shipyard was birthed. From there, our knowledge was vastly accelerated, larger, faster construction ships were deployed, paired with remote drones to improve efficiency.
The next big projects were sending scout teams out to each planet, while construction teams were hard at work improving our space port with hanger bays, food courts and places of business, the shipyard became active with the development of our Surveyors, mobile research teams with access to our best sensors and equipment.
Two separate ships were dispatched, exploring the surface of Mars, taking samples of the gases that constituted Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn, and coasting on the thick atmosphere of Venus.
Mining Stations began to crop up around astroid belts, some owned by private corporations, some by the government themselves. Production exploded, purer ores than Earth could dream of, at our very fingertips. The next mines were planetside, Mars was next, being dotted with small refiners and mining settlements. Sealed tin cans that were overcrowded at best, death traps at worst, and yet we had so many willing to work in these conditions, begging in some cases for the chance to work and live off-planet.
The system became abuzz with life, civilian and industry ships filling the system to nearly the brim, tours of industrial zones for civilians gave rise to personalized starships, commercial starliners. And finally, our hyperdrive.
The breakthrough was a massive leap, finally we had broken through the barrier that had kept us locked in our home system, the wider galaxy was open to us at last, the mystery of the universe was ours to discover.
A surveyor was retrofitted with a prototype hyperdrive and sent to the closest neighboring system, concaquences be damned. We were lucky the damn thing didn't explode outright, but it seamlessly entered the hyperlane, and in a month. Popped out in another system.
Without any time at all having passed within the ship.
Not the outcome we were expecting, but one taken in stride. Once communications were reestablished, humanity rejoiced, a success that rocked the entire race. And the surveyor, given the name, "Newton" was ordered to explore the system, headed by Dr. Leah Riley and her team.
And so they went off at sublight speeds to the nearest swirly purple gas giant named immediately "Barney" and got to work.
submitted by ThatOneIvy to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 10:34 Throwaway91sg45f7j Moron (25M) gets drunk and asks out former crush (2?F), then asks out her best friend (25F) in whom he's actually interested.

TLDR
I’m autistic and had a crush on a cute girl months ago. After I was over her I took too long to figure out how amazing her best friend was. Made a mistake, got drunk and asked the first one out, texted her best friend to tell her and then impulsively asked her best friend out two weeks later. I ran a marathon, ate shitty pancakes, and have backed myself into a horrible catch 22 through an inability to communicate clearly. I’d really appreciate an out, or failing that general advice. I’m an inconsiderate, judgmental, shallow, asshole. Feel free to tell me so.
For context, I was diagnosed with Aspergers as a kid. I was horribly socially inept through middle school. I’m 25 now and I present superficially as normal. I’d really like to try dating. When social interactions get more complicated there’s some trial and error and I have plenty of support structures, primarily some longtime friends. I kicked a video game addiction, and got really into rock climbing a couple of years ago, and am no longer just cycling through phases of depression. This has been very good for me. I've gotten into outstanding shape. I’ve surpassed competent and have achieved good at some social situations. I’ve made friends and I absolutely love going to the gym or the crag and meeting my friends or running into familiar faces.
Meeting "A":
Unfortunately, one of those familiar faces is a girl we'll call "A" (2?F). I met "A" back in January. Objectively speaking, she's obscenely attractive, cheery, sociable, and talented. Somehow I imagine I'm not the first guy to fall for her. We hung out for a few hours, she asked for my number, texted for a few days. I’d like to make it clear that in recognition of my disability I don’t generally act on hints, as such her wanting to spend time with was A) explicit and B) impossible to misconstrue. We’d text. Plans would fall through. Snowstorm. The flue. Her uncle died.
Sometimes she'd get back to me right away, sometimes it was three days later. Sometimes she'd text me out of the blue saying we should hang out and then not make time. At absolutely no point did I text her a third time, if someone doesn't respond twice they’re not interested. But she kept responding for months. We'd run into each other she'd make noises about still being interested, give me an awkward hug hang out and talk for an hour or two and then I'd run into her again later.
After months of this I finally got it into my skull I had no interest in being with someone so clearly disinterested in making time for me. I stopped texting her after we'd run into each other. She didn't text me. We'd still hang out when we ran into each other.
Meeting "C":
Then, she introduced me to her friend, we'll call "C" (25F). "C" is an objectively attractive young woman, but next to her best friend, "A", it's easy to miss. Especially if you're particularly stupid or shallow. As such, I wasn't immediately attracted to her. "C" made it clear she wanted to hang out with me by saying she’d never been climbing outside, the implication being that I should take her.It was a little obvious and I initially found it a little off putting. She threw her recycle away in the trash on the way out. Did I mention I'm judgmental and shallow?
I met up with her that following Sunday, figuring I didn't have anything better to do, it might be fun, and it was a nice day to take the dog out and go for a hike even if we wouldn't be doing any harder climbs. She did great. She tried really hard. She learned quickly. She made for pleasant conversation and she was witty, although it didn't come naturally to her. Obviously, I can't judge. We met for drinks afterward and it was pleasant, and met up again later that week to climb briefly at the gym.
One long month: The next day I fucked up big time with a deadline for school. Like, puts me a year behind monumental lock the gunsafe fuckup. Queue me being depressed again for the first time in months. The following Saturday I had already signed up for a bouldering competition and figured I might as well go anyways. I got like 2 hours of sleep. I showed up at like 8am. I placed very poorly, and far below my normal level. I probably had like 3 energy drinks over the course of the day, ate only cliff bars, and returned to watch the opens because my day was shot anyways and I wasn't going to get anything done that evening. At this point I'm sleep deprived and emotional. The open with the semi-professional climbers starts, and it turns out the gym makes it into a party. Music, lights, DJ, prizes. The whole spiel. I'm an introvert, and don't enjoy parties. I don't like sports, either unless I'm watching the DotA (video game) finals.
Holy shit it was amazing. I couldn't have felt more passionately about it. I was screaming and cheering, and my friends were there and we were watching some incredible people at the pinnacle of their sport do amazing things right in front of us. Also, there was free beer.
I don’t usually drink a lot, so I’m a lightweight. About once a year since I’ve started drinking I’ll screw up and end up cleaning some puke out of my bathtub, but so far haven’t had any major ramifications. I’d never drive drunk, and usually work hard to maintain decorum in public. Also, in case you didn’t know alcohol’s bad for you and I wanted to be in good shape for climbing. So I have, on average, like one light beer a week after I do yard work or something or if I meet friends at a bar I’ll nurse a stout.
I had like 4 IPAs. They were giving out free beer. I was as drunk as I could get without stumbling or slurring words. Then, I had the absolute misfortune of running into "A" outside after the party. She looked amazing, and any logic about not being interested in a relationship with someone who couldn’t make time for me or communicate regularly, went out the window.
I want to be very clear; the previous day, sober, there’s absolutely no one I would have asked out. No one was on my radar in whom I was mutually interested, including "C" and "A". But I was in such a state where it didn’t matter, there were half a dozen girls I could have ran into and asked out. It just happened to be "C"’s best friend.
I’d briefly said hello, told her how exciting it was, couldn’t wait to try out the new climbs etc. I walked away, got halfway to the parking lot and decided to put myself out there. I turned right around, figuring I’d never do it if I was sober. Ironic right? I asked her out in front of her friends. Said something exceedingly awkward about wanting to share a fermented beverage. She thought for a minute and said “yes”. Then she invited me into the bar with with her friends, and I said thanks but I had to get home. I didn’t, I just knew I was way to drunk to interact. So I walked back to my car and spent the next few hours crying in the parking lot.
I’m not a genius, I’m just smart enough to understand when someone else is, and to feel like a failure for not matching it. John von Neumann was a genius, but I was born with an mild advantage. Math is like breathing for me. I took Calc 3 and linear algebra before I graduated from high school. Learning other languages comes to me incredibly readily. I picked the hardest, useful, European language I could and passed my C1 in German after only 3 months. My first semester of college I took the the hardest classes I could. I concurrently took 2 courses with their prerequisites. I got a 4.0, and scored the highest in at least one of my classes on the final. I dropped out because it was boring. I’m not saying this because I need strangers on the internet to be impressed by me or something - I just want to make a point that most everything I’ve achieved feels meaningless to me because I’m advantaged. But dating’s hard for me.
I cried for an hour or two, and then called two of my closest friends at midnight and told them how absolutely elated I was. Ever since I hit puberty, and became interested in the opposite sex ~10 years ago, I figured dating might end up being beyond me. You see you can emulate other people’s day to day interactions. You can emulate flirting. But dating happens behind closed doors and I’m a REALLY slow learner. Which meant there’d be lots of trial and error. Slowly that’s become less true, but it’s been a lingering doubt in the back of my head eating at me for years. But now, this insanely attractive, fun, girl was inexplicably interested enough in me to go drink *something fermented* and my mind was just a little blown. No one had ever said yes to me before. It could have been any of several girls and I would have felt so sublimely normal, like I could have it all. I was the most emotional I’ve been in a very long time. I’m fairly certain that was the best night of my life because it felt like a real achievement. That’s why I can’t honestly say I regret it, despite it being a massive mistake. I couldn't even tell her I regretted it and I hate lying.
I still thought "C" was nice, and she gets along with my dog really well so I texted her letting her know I asked "A" out because I thought it was the open, honest, thing to do. I told her I’d still be up for meeting this week. I figured that would be the best way to honestly establish our relationship as platonic.
"A", surprise, never texted me a time the next day. Ghosted. I didn’t text her again, because I wanted to be respectful. I kept hoping for the rest of the week, but between her and my unrelated school screwup it absolutely crushed me.
I kept working really hard to fix my school screwup, and I’m arguably in an even better place now in that respect, but that’s not really part of the story. I met up with "C" again, platonically, about a week later on Monday. We had fun, and decided to meet again next week thankfully without really discussing the "A" thing.
We met up again Friday. I’d applied to a different University I liked even better and felt great about it. I had done my best to get over the "A" thing. We’d met another friend of mine Friday and he ended up splitting off from the trio so it was just the two of us. I was a little disappointed I couldn’t work any hard ones with her, but enjoyed talking to her enough that it didn’t matter much. She challenged herself on a really technical climb, and came down and was so infectiously happy about it and I was so proud she’d got it and something in me just clicked and I wanted to see her happy more often and all the sudden she was the most attractive woman on the planet. I had to go tuck in a boner in the bathroom. I’m just being honest, I’m not proud of it.
Up until this point I’d had one bad screw up, got drunk, was unlucky enough to run into the wrong girl at the wrong time, and did something stupid. Of course I went for the threepeat. 10 minutes later, without taking even a moment to consider her feelings - ignoring that I’d asked out her best friend two weeks prior and then texted her to tell her about it - I asked "C" if, when we went out for dinner afterwards she’d want to call it a date. Obviously she said no. But it gets so much better.
We went out to eat anyways, not as a date, and I couldn’t leave it the fuck alone and just respect that she said no. So I asked her as nicely as I could was it because she was angry about me being an inconsiderate asshole, or was it because she thought she was playing second fiddle to "A". She assured me it was the second, and while she understood that a lot of men were interested in her friend, she had no interest in being someone’s second choice. Against overwhelming evidence from her perspective, I was unable to articulate clearly how, at that point, and for a while preceding I had zero romantic interest in her friend and that it was just me being stupid, again.
We got back to the gym so I could drop her off at her car we were talking about nothing I briefly asked if I could see her bow, dry fired it and broke her string. I’ve pulled back dozens, if not hundreds, of bows and never dry fired one. I tried to fix it, told her I’d pay for her replacement string. We left, and I texted her another apology about being so horribly inconsiderate and lauded how kindly and maturely she handled it.
I go home at 1 in the morning and I can not express how shitty I felt. I wanted to just go drink myself into a stupor. Once again, not normal behavior for me. But, the only reason I was in this mess was because I got drunk and did something exceedingly stupid so I figured the second best coping mechanism was to go invest myself in something I really hate. Running. So I just started running in a big loop around the neighborhood. It ended up being ~7 miles when I got home. I’m fairly certain I’ve never run more than a mile or two consecutively in my life, but as I’d mentioned I’d gotten in really good shape for climbing. When I got home I started feeling like shit for ruining her night again and I decided I didn’t want to stop. I live out in the boonies, so I grabbed my phone and just started running towards town and halfway there I decided I wanted some pancakes so I just kept going. I walked through a lot of the hill country, and then I started running again when it was flat with sidewalks. I called my dad when he was up and asked him to meet me for breakfast and drive me home. It ended up being about 27 miles and my hip flexors still aren’t working right. Wouldn’t recommend.
I need some advice:
My dad, with far less context and over some disappointing pancakes, suggested I write her a letter articulating my apology as I was unable to convince her that she was second only in the chronological sense. Firstly, it’s a shitty thing to let someone think, that you’re only interested in them because their friend rejected them. That’s probably true, in the sense that it made me value her character even more, but not in the sense that she’s a backup.
Secondly, however interested in her I was when I asked her out, she was so much more appealing after rejecting me. Not because I want what I can’t have, but because she handled it exquisitely. She stuck to her principles. She was so incredibly kind, empathetic, unnecessarily apologetic, forgiving, and just generally mature. Most of my mistakes, in the social setting, are honest and aren’t nearly as malicious or selfish in nature, but I still screw up plenty. I recognize I’ll need someone that patient with me and I can’t imagine how long it will take me to find someone else like this. If I have a single takeaway from this I hope it’s that I won’t be to shallow and judgmental to recognize it initially.
Here’s where I need advice going forward. She’s meeting me again on Tuesday. Generally I am hyper-respectful of people’s boundaries, to the absolute best of my abilities and she quite clearly said no. However, if she’s telling me the truth about being disinterested because she thinks she’s the backup, and not because she’s (rightfully) pissed about my behavior then technically this all boils down to a misunderstanding. And most misunderstandings can be solved with honesty. I don’t struggle with honesty. Normal people struggle with hearing it. If I told her all of the above she’d never want to talk to me again, even though I think I’ve made my case that I’m genuinely interested in her. It’s part of our social contract, when you’re just getting to know someone you present normally and then branch out showing your individuality to see if they’re interested in who you actually are. This is true for all relationships and not just dating, but there’s a reason you don’t bring STDs or a desire for kids or marriage on the first date. There’s a reason I don’t tell people I just met I collect vintage fountain pens. It’s offputing.
So I feel as if I’m in a catch-22. I could tell her the truth. I assume everyone reading this assumes I’m a nut job even understanding that I’m only being honest because of the anonymity involved. Of course she’d think I’m a nut job too, and I’d have no chance at maintaining a friendship either.
Alternatively, I can do my best to compartmentalize this crush and just treat her as I would any of my other female friends. I can respect her boundaries, but to be entirely honest I’m worried how I’ll handle it when she tells me she’s going on a date next time. I don’t want to risk my mental health further if I can’t handle the jealousy.
I’m also worried I won’t adequately be able to suppress my interest in her, and can’t just treat her like a human. So I’m just wondering if it’d be easier on all involved if I cut it off early instead. But if I’m going to just cut it off early anyways, might as well ruin it by being honest about the context and there’s that minuscule chance that, if she can forgive me for being such an inconsiderate asshole to her, then she can handle me being honest about my disability and my mistakes.
I briefly considered further options. In theory "A" doesn’t want her friend to feel lesser, either. It’s in her best interest, therefore, to convince her of that. Additionally, at this point "A" was casually cruel to me and I have no further interest in getting along with her, much less being her friend. Therefore I don’t care if she thinks poorly of me and I’d have no difficult being radically honest with her, telling her most of this and perhaps there’s a better chance that "A" could convince her I’m actually solely interested in "C" without also conveying how crazy it is to dump all this on a stranger. But to be frank, I don’t think I trust "A"’s character at this point not to just spite me.
I would be eternally grateful if anyone had a fourth, better, option. I’d love to just be friends with this uniquely amazing person if I can handle it. I’d also really like have a second chance, but without violating her boundaries. I hate that I have to let her think she’s second best. I hate that I screwed this up by getting drunk and having the misfortune of running into the wrong girl and doing something stupid. I want to screw this up by spending half an hour explaining the history of type writers, or telling her everything I know about avocados or machine learning or accidentally insulting her, or something else autistic. I want her to be disinterested in me because she thinks I’m ugly or I smell bad or something. Not because of some misunderstanding I don’t know how to clear up.
submitted by Throwaway91sg45f7j to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 10:27 hedonisticvenus Horses, tattoos and spirituality

I’m going to Mallorca for one week with my friend the last week of June. We will be staying quite near the city center of Palma.
Please recommend me places and shops related to these following things 1) Horses. I would love to go horse riding. I noticed quite many of the farms are quite far away from where I’m staying at. Some place closer and easy to travel to would be nice. And the horses should be well taken care of. 2) Tattoos. Any places to get a small(ish) tattoo? Again close to where I stay or easy to travel to. 3) Any places or shops related to spirituality.
submitted by hedonisticvenus to mallorca [link] [comments]


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As a result, no streaMing services are authorized to offer Somewhere in Queens Movie for free. The filM would, however, very definitely be acquired by services like FuniMation , Netflix, and Crunchyroll. As a last consideration, which of these outlets will likely distribute the filM worldwide?
Is Somewhere in Queens on Netflix?
The streaMing giant has a Massive catalog of television shows and Movies, but it does not include 'Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan .' We recoMMend our readers watch other dark fantasy filMs like 'The Witcher: NightMare of the Wolf.'
Is Somewhere in Queens on Crunchyroll?
Crunchyroll, along with FuniMation, has acquired the rights to the filM and will be responsible for its distribution in North AMerica.Therefore, we recoMMend our readers to look for the Movie on the streaMer in the coMing Months. subscribers can also watch dark fantasy shows like 'Jujutsu Kaisen.'
Is Somewhere in Queens on Hulu?
No, 'Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan ' is unavailable on Hulu. People who have a subscription to the platforM can enjoy 'Afro SaMurai Resurrection' or 'Ninja Scroll.'
Is Somewhere in Queens on AMazon PriMe?
AMazon PriMe's current catalog does not include 'Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan .' However, the filM May eventually release on the platforM as video-on-deMand in the coMing Months.fantasy Movies on AMazon PriMe's official website. Viewers who are looking for soMething siMilar can watch the original show 'Dororo.'
When Will Somewhere in Queens Be on Disney+?
Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan , the latest installMent in the Somewhere in Queens franchise, is coMing to Disney+ on July 8th! This new Movie proMises to be just as exciting as the previous ones, with plenty of action and adventure to keep viewers entertained. you're looking forward to watching it, you May be wondering when it will be available for your Disney+ subscription. Here's an answer to that question!
Is Somewhere in Queens on FuniMation?
Crunchyroll, its official website May include the Movie in its catalog in the near future. Meanwhile, people who wish to watch soMething siMilar can streaM 'DeMon Slayer: KiMetsu no Yaiba – The Movie: Mugen Train.'
Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan Online In The US?
Most Viewed, Most Favorite, Top Rating, Top IMDb Movies online. Here we can download and watch 123Movies Movies offline. 123Movies website is the best alternative to Martyr or Murderer's (2021) free online. We will recoMMend 123Movies as the best SolarMovie alternative There are a
few ways to watch Somewhere in Queens online in the US You can use a streaMing service such as Netflix, Hulu, or AMazon PriMe Video. You can also rent or buy the Movie on iTunes or Google Play. watch it on-deMand or on a streaMing app available on your TV or streaMing device if you have cable.
What is Somewhere in Queens About?
It features an enseMble cast that includes Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Wilde, GeMMa Chan, KiKi Layne, Nick Kroll, and Chris Pine. In the filM, a young wife living in a 2250s coMpany town begins to believe there is a sinister secret being kept froM her by the Man who runs it.
What is the story of Martyr or Murderer?
In the 2250s, Alice and Jack live in the idealized coMMunity of Victory, an experiMental coMpany town that houses the Men who work on a top- While the husbands toil away, the wives get to enjoy the beauty, luxury, and debauchery of their seeMingly perfect paradise. However, when cracks in her idyllic life begin to appear, exposing flashes of soMething sinister lurking below the surface, Alice can't help but question exactly what she's doing in Victory.
In ancient Kahndaq, Teth AdaM bestowed the alMighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was iMprisoned, becoMing Martyr or Murderer. Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and Somewhere in Queens has gone froM Man to Myth to legend. Now free, his unique forM of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by Modern-day heroes who forM the Justice Society: HawkMan, Dr. Fate, AtoM SMasher, and Cyclone.
Production coMpanies : Warner Bros. Pictures.
At San Diego CoMic-Con in July, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had other people raising eyebrows when he said that his long-awaited superhero debut in Somewhere in Queens would be the beginning of “a new era” for the DC Extended Universe naturally followed: What did he Mean? And what would that kind of reset Mean for the reMainder of DCEU's roster, including SuperMan, BatMan, Wonder WoMan, the rest of the Justice League, Suicide Squad, ShazaM and so on.As
Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan neared theaters, though, Johnson clarified that stateMent in a recent sit-down with Yahoo EntertainMent (watch above).
“I feel like this is our opportunity now to expand the DC Universe and what we have in Martyr or Murderer, which I think is really cool just as a fan, is we introduce five new superheroes to the world,” Johnson tells us. Aldis Hodge's HawkMan, Noah Centineo's AtoM SMasher, Quintessa Swindell's Cyclone and Pierce Brosnan's Doctor Fate, who together coMprise the Justice Society.) “One anti-hero.” (That would be DJ's Martyr or Murderer.)
“And what an opportunity. The Justice Society pre-dated the Justice League. So opportunity, expand out the universe, in My Mind… all these characters interact. That's why you see in Martyr or Murderer, we acknowledge everyone: BatMan , SuperMan , Wonder WoMan, Flash, we acknowledge everybo****here's also soMe Easter eggs in there, too.So that's what I Meant by the resetting. Maybe resetting' wasn't a good terM.only
In addition to being Johnson's DC Universe debut, “Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan ” is also notable for Marking the return of Henry Cavill's SuperMan. The caMeo is likely to set up future showdowns between the two characters, but Hodge was coMpletely unaware of it until he saw the filM.
“They kept that all the way under wraps, and I didn't know until Maybe a day or two before the preMiere,” he recently said Somewhere in Queens (2023) FULLMOVIE ONLINE
Is Somewhere in Queens Available On Hulu?Viewers are saying that they want to view the new TV show Somewhere in Queens on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free ****odes of this series streaMing at this tiMe. the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaMing service.
Is Somewhere in Queens StreaMing on Disney Plus?
Unfortunately, Somewhere in Queens is not currently available to streaM on Disney Plus and it's not expected that the filM will release on Disney Plus until late DeceMber at the absolute earliest.
While Disney eventually releases its various studios' filMs on Disney Plus for subscribers to watch via its streaMing platforM, Most Major releases don't arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-Enys Men 0 days after the filM's theatrical release.
The sequel opened to $150 Million internationally, which Disney reports is 4% ahead of the first filM when coMparing like for likes at current exchange rates. Overall, the global cuMe coMes to $330 Million. Can it becoMe the year's third filM to Make it past $1 billion worldwide despite China and Russia, which Made up around $124 Million of the first filM's $Enys Men 82 Million international box office, being out of play? It May be tough, but it's not iMpossible. Legging out past $500 Million is plausible on the doMestic front (that would be a Multiplier of at least 2.7), and another $500 Million abroad would be a drop of around $58 Million froM the original after excluding the two MIA Markets. It'd be another story if audiences didn't love the filM,but the positive reception suggests that Wakanda Forever will outperforM the legs on this year's earlier MCU titles (Multiverse of Madness and Love and Thunder had Multipliers of 2.2 and 2.3 respectively).
As for the rest of the box office, there's little to get excited about, with nothing else grossing above $10 Million as Hollywood shied away froM releasing anything significant not just this weekend but also over the previous two weekends. When Black Panther opened in 2018, there was no counterprograMMing that opened the saMe weekend, but Peter Rabbit and Fifty Shades Freed were in their second weekends and took second and third with $17.5 Million and $17.3 Million respectively. That weekend had an overall cuMe of $287 Million coMpared to $208 Million this weekend Take away the $22 Million gap between the two Black Panther filMs and there's still a $57 Million gap between the two weekends. The difference May not feel that large when a Mega blockbuster is propping up the grosses,but the contrast is harsher when the Mid-level filMs are the entire box office as we saw in recent Months.
Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan , which is the biggest grosser of the rough post-suMMer, pre-Wakanda Forever season, caMe in second with just $8.Enys Men Million. Despite the blockbuster coMpetition that arrived in its fourth weekend, the nuMbers didn't totally collapse, dropping 53 % for a cuMe of $151 Million. Worldwide it is at $352 Million, which isn't a great cuMe as the grosses start to wind down considering its $200 Million budget. Still, it's the biggest of any filM since Martyr or Murderer, though Wakanda Forever will overtake it any day now.
Uchiyan Ne Gallan Tere Yaar Diyan caMe in third place in its fourth weekend, down 29% with $Enys Men .1 Million, eMerging as one of the season's Most durable grossers and one of the year's few bright spots when it coMes to filMs for adults. The doMestic cuMe is $5Enys Men .5 Million Fourth place went to Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, which had a negligible drop of 5% for a $3.2 Million sixth weekend and $40.8 Million cuMe., in fact )
, which isn't surprising considering it's the only faMily filM on the Market, and it's Somewhere in Queens to grossing four tiMes its $11.4 Million opening. Still, the $72.Enys Men Million worldwide cuMe is soft given the $50 Million budget , though a nuMber of international Markets have yet to open.
Finishing up the top five is Martyr or Murderer, which had its biggest weekend drop yet, falling 42% for a $2.3 Million seventh weekend. Of course, that's no reason to frown for the horror filM, which has a doMestic cuMe of $103 Million and global cuMe of $ 210 Million froM a budget of just $20 Million.
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